 Kraft presents The Great Gilder Sleeve. Yeah. These company makers of parquet margarine and a complete line of famous quality food products presents Harold Perry as The Great Gilder Sleeve. Kraft brings you The Great Gilder Sleeve every week at this time, written by John Whedon and Sam Moore. The Great Gilder Sleeve in just a moment. If you're taking the family on a picnic this Memorial Day, surprise them with a variety of tempting treats made with Fabstead, the delicious golden cheese food. Fabstead goes a long way toward satisfying hearty appetites because Fabstead is so delicious in so many appetizing ways. For example, blend a smooth, luscious Fabstead cheese sauce into a macaroni loaf or a molded cheese loaf or a molded vegetable ring. They're easy to prepare and delicious on an outing. Dates are pruned stuffed with Fabstead. Make another grand picnic treat. And of course it goes without saying that Fabstead is wonderful as a sandwich spread, rich and mellow cheddar cheese flavor. Remember too that Fabstead adds nourishing goodness. Muscle building proteins, food energy, milk minerals, and vitamin A. So head up your shopping list with Fabstead, the delicious golden cheese food. Don't forget the name is Fabstead. Now let's follow once more the ups and downs in the career of Throckmorton P. Gilder Sleeve. Last week he had one of his ups. At the annual outing, given for the city employees, he stole the show with his fruity baritone and forced Meritor Williger to retire in confusion. And today we find him still riding the crest of that wave as he strolls down Lane Street with his campaign manager, Judge Hooker, about to enter Floyd Munson's barbershop. After you, Gilder. No, no, after you, John. I insist, after you. No, after you. Well then, we'll make up your mind. We'll make up yours. All right, after me. Close the door, gents. You're letting in flies. Oh, hello, Floyd. How's business? How's the wife? That's fine. Hi, commissioner. Thought it was about time you were coming around. Oh, I'm overdue, Floyd, overdue. But I haven't had time when I haven't won for a real haircut today. Just a little trip. Okay, climb right up in the chair there. Hi, Judge. Today, Floyd. Make yourself at home with the magazines there. It's a new Esquire that's worth looking at. I'm not interested in Esquire, Floyd. Where is it? It's there somewhere. Don't miss the Varga girl. Brother, that girl telephones in the darndest positions. Well, how you been, commissioner? Well, I can't complain, Floyd. Can't complain. I hear where you knocked them dead at the mayor's picnic the other day. Oh, hardly that, Floyd. Did you see what the indicator said about me? Yeah, I saw that. Judge, you've got the newspaper clipping there. Read it to Floyd. But I told you I read it. That's all right. Read it again, Judge. I like to hear it. Judge. What's that? Put down the Esquire and read us that clipping from the indicator again, will you? Oh, certainly. I got it right here. Read us the part about the ovation. This is from the indicator, Floyd. It's an editorial. I know. I read it. It says, at the recent annual outing of the city employees of Summerfield, Mr. Gilderslee received an impressive ovation. How do you like that? An impressive ovation? Head down, little commissioner, please. Listen, do you want me to read this or don't you? Oh, go ahead, Judge. Read it. Quiet, Floyd. Quiet. Mr. Gilderslee received an impressive ovation and proved himself a real vote-getter with a golden voice and a knack of swaying crowds. Not bad, eh, Floyd? A real vote-getter. Wait a minute. Listen to this. Behind this smart campaigning may be seen the guiding hand of his astute campaign manager, Judge Horace Hooker. Yeah, astute. We predict that between them, they'll give Meritor Williger a real run for his money. Pretty swell right up, eh, Floyd? Yes, it is, commissioner. I only hope you're not going to forget your friends when you get up there in the mayor's office. Don't worry, Floyd. There, Gilderslee will know who his real friends are, Floyd. I'll see to that. What do you mean, Judge? I think you know what I mean. Why, I've been for Mr. Gilderslee right along. You know that. Floyd, don't add perjury to your other sins. What? There are numerous enough already. Now, Judge... You got me all wrong, Judge. Why, only the other day... You're not your Williger man, and you know it. Floyd, is this true? Commissioner, I hope I may die tomorrow if I... Why, only the other day... Floyd... Well, sure I cut the mayor's hair. Sure. Business is business. I gotta be polite to him, don't I? Perhaps. If you don't have to run his political errands for him, you don't have to be his stew. Now, Judge, I think that's going a little far. Easy, Horace. Let's not be calling any harsh names. You can't blame a man just because he cut somebody's hair. Cutting hair is my business. Yeah, and you'd cut a throat just as quickly. Now, Horace... Put down that razor, Floyd. Let's straighten this out. Well, I think the judge owes me an apology. Apology for what? Now, now, I think Floyd sees which way the political wind is blowing, Judge. You're done right, I do. I feel sure he's gonna vote the way his conscience tells him to. Aren't you, Floyd? You're done right, I am. Then why may I ask, has he consistently refused to lend your campaign any assistance whatsoever? Judge, how can you say that? I've been for the commissioning here right along. Only the other day... Listen, we need office space for our headquarters. The floor above this shop is empty, and it would be ideal. But every time that I've asked you to let us use it, you've hemmed and hard-installed around. Now, how about it? Yes, Floyd. How about it? Well, gosh, fellas, you put me in kind of a difficult position. How about it, Floyd? Well, voting for Mr. Gilda's leave is one thing, but having his headquarters right here in the shop... Gosh, I'm liable to lose some trade that way. Only the undesirable trade, Floyd. The time has come, Floyd, for every man to make his choice and declare himself. Is it yes or no? Well... Well, all right. Fine, I knew you would, Floyd. Now, Judge, you get busy and see if you can rustle up some office furniture. I don't suppose there's any up there, Floyd. Oh, nothing but an old piano. Well, we need a couple of desks and some chairs and, you know, and some files. Yeah, I'll get right on it, Gilda. I think I even know where I can borrow an electric fan. Great! I'll run home and see if I can round up some volunteer workers. Hey, let me up, Floyd. But the haircut, I haven't finished, Commissioner. No, we'll call it done. Finish it some other time. Here, keep the change. Hey, you don't let any moss grow, do you? Not me. Uh-oh, a telephone. I'll take it. You'll just leave headquarters. Gee, and I had a nice, quiet little business here. Yeah. Comic books? It's lucky I didn't break my neck. Where's Leroy? He's up in his room. He's got his commando gang up there. Well, they better stay there. I've got some telephoning to do. Well, I won't bother you. I'm going to the movies. Oh, not this afternoon, my dear. I need your help. Oh, Uncle Moore. Yeah, where's Birdie? I need you both this afternoon. Oh, Birdie! Birdie! Yeah, Birdie? That's what it said in the paper, Mr. Gilles. Well, never mind that. I wonder if you'd like to do a little political work this afternoon, Birdie. What kind of political work, Mr. Gilles? Well, we're opening up our new headquarters downtown and there's quite a few things to be done. Yes, sir. Political work, you say? Well, it'll be a definite contribution to my campaign, but it's not anything like making speeches. No, sir. Is there anything like sweeping and dusting out the office? That's it, Birdie. But Margie will help you, won't you, my dear? Well... What's that? Oh, darn those kids. How about it, Margie? Will you help Birdie get the new headquarters ready? Well, I don't see why it has to be cleaned on the one afternoon the Cary Grant pictures at the Majestic. Margie, Cary Grant will be back again some day. Yes, but by that time I'll be an old woman. Oh, my God! What are those kids doing up there? If that racket starts again, I'm going up there myself. And you, young lady, you're going to help me this afternoon. All right. Don't feel bad, honey. We all got to help your uncle. We all got to give up something. I'm going to have to give up doing the laundry this afternoon. My dear, Birdie gives up her laundry. You give up Cary Grant. Cheer up and I'll be over on June the 20th. What do you mean? Well, I don't. What does it mean, Leroy? It means go order. Well, I don't see why you always have to be the boss. Who said you were the boss anyway? Do we have to go all over there? I bet there's a catch to it. There's no catch, Whitey. Gosh, don't you understand? We've got to be systematic. We've got to vote and decide this question. What question? What have we been arguing about for half an hour? If we just take a vote on it, the majority can decide. Well, for corn sick, why don't you say so? Okay, let's vote. Wait a minute. First, everybody gets a chance to speak. Be first. Why do you have to be first? What difference does that make? It doesn't make any difference who goes first. I'm offering to go first just to give you the idea. Okay, go ahead. Gosh. Okay. First one to use the new flame thrower. Because I am head of the commandos, and so naturally I should go first. Who said you were the head? Piggy, now you go next. What difference does it make? Leroy just told you it doesn't make any difference. Fellow commandos, I believe I should be the first to use the new flame thrower because it was my idea. I thought of the whole thing. I thank you. Very good, Piggy. Okay, Whitey, you're next. Well, I think I should get first shot because my father owns the blowtorch, and if I don't, I'll take it home. Hey, let's not get this over with. Let's have the vote. Who do you vote for, Whitey? I vote for me. You're not supposed to vote for yourself, you dope. Who do you vote for, Pig? Me. Then I'll vote for myself, too. Only I forgot to tell you, in case of a tie, the chairman wins. Hey, that's... Mr. Gildersleeve. We were just playing, Mr. Gildersleeve. I never heard such yelling and screaming in my life. Now, what's it all about? A vote, just like in Congress. I don't believe even Congress could make that much noise. Now, what were you discussing? Oh, we were talking about who gets first shot with our new flame thrower. A flame thrower. What are you boys using for a flame thrower? Here it is, Mr. Gildersleeve. It isn't a flame thrower, really. It's just my father's blowtorch. Oh, well, a blowtorch? Get away from that thing. There's nothing more here. We'll carry it right back. Is it loaded? Yeah, she's all ready to squirt. You want to take a shot, Mr. Gildersleeve? No, thank you. Now, I'll speak to whoever lets you have it. I can promise you that. Turn a bunch of kids loose with a red-hot blowtorch. Who told you you could have it? Who lets you have it? I'm thinking mine. Lee Roy, that is stealing. Boys, I'm surprised at you. This is the kind of thing that leads to gangsterism. Oh, it couldn't, Aunt. We're just commandos. When you start stealing blowtorches, you're gangsters, Lee Roy. Why can't you boys find some wholesome occupation for your time? There ain't any. There aren't any. Oh. Well, I'll provide one for you. I'll give you boys an assignment much more important than playing commandos. I'll give you a chance to help the whole community. Is it work, Aunt? Let me explain it my own way, Lee Roy. As you boys probably know, I'm running for mayor of Summerfield. Yeah, I saw you win the pie-eating contest at the picnic. Cute. Well, Mayor Trilliger has got posters up all over town with his picture on them, telling people to vote for him. Now, I want to put some posters around with my picture on them. And if you boys will distribute my posters, you'll be doing the city of Summerfield a big favor. Doesn't that appeal to your patriotism? Perhaps I haven't made that quite clear. Clear. I'm offering you commandos a chance to fight the forces of corruption in this town. Give Summerfield a good, honest government. What do you say? I forgot to mention each commando gets 50 cents when the job is done. Oh, baby! Honestly, we'll be with us again in just a few seconds. Of course, no one's wasting important leftovers these days. But do you know the trick of making leftovers not seem like leftovers at all? Well, it's easy with Pabstet, a delicious golden cheese food. First, you make a smooth, luscious cheese sauce with Pabstet and a little milk. And then pour this appetizing Pabstet cheese sauce over leftovers of meat, fish, vegetables, or rice, fixed any way you like. And presto Pabstet has helped provide you with a brand new main dish, rich in mellow cheddar cheese flavor. You can serve Pabstet in a variety of other ways, too. Melt it with macaroni for attempting casserole dish, toasted in sandwiches, or sliced for serving with dessert. And remember, Pabstet is wholesome and nourishing, a real favorite with children. So watch your dealer stocks, and whenever you can, buy Pabstet. Ask for the delicious golden cheese food of a hundred uses, Pabstet. Let's get back to the great Gildersleeve. An afternoon of hard work by everyone but the candidate himself has put his headquarters in pretty good shape. But there's just one difficulty. Nobody has come near the place. Gildersleeve, however, is leaving no stone unturned. He's keeping open in the evening, too, and we find him now coming back from supper to relieve his friend, Mr. Peavey. Well, Peavey, anything happen while I was out? No, Mr. Gildersleeve, nothing happen. At least nothing worth mentioning. In politics, Peavey, anything may be significant. Now, what happened and when? About five minutes past seven a mouse ran across the floor. A mouse, Peavey. I thought you might be passing up something important. Well, that's all that happened. I can show you his hole if you think it's worth following up. Let it go, Peavey. Let it go. I can't understand why more people don't drop in here. Aren't there any politicians in this town? Don't the voters want to be informed? Well, here comes somebody. Maybe a voter. Ah, good evening, candidate. Hi, Peavey. It's only hooker. Darn it, judge. We haven't had a customer here all day. Yeah, things have been pretty quiet. Well, give yourself a little time, boys. It takes a while to get things rolling. Did you get the posters out, Gildy? Yeah, Leroy and some of his little friends took them out this afternoon. They were very enthusiastic. Fine, fine. Oh, I had a call from Mrs. Pettiborn at the woman's club. She wanted you to sing for them next week. I'm too busy to be going around singing, judge. That's what I told her. It must be terrible to be so popular, Gildy, especially with the women. Anyway, those women aren't women. No women are women when you get a bunch of them together. Well, no, I wouldn't say that. I saw a group of young ladies in the trolley car this afternoon. Lovely. Peavey. Peavey, what's come over you? I don't know, but I rode two blocks past my store. Well, here comes somebody. Don't worry, it won't be anybody. Hi, Floyd. Yeah, what did I tell you? Well, boys, how's the campaign coming up? Nobody even knows we're here, Floyd. We might as well go home. Home? What's the use of going there? If you've got a headquarters, you might as well get some use of it. What do you mean, Floyd? I told the wife I was coming down here to help get you fellas organized. She didn't believe it for a while, but I convinced her. So what? Well, brought a deck of cards with me. That's a good idea, Floyd. Why should we sit here all night and just worry? Well, we might play just a few hands. Sure, nobody wants to play poker all night. No. Pull up a chair, judge. Pull up a chair, Peavey. Oh, I don't think I'm better, Floyd. I think I'll just be running along. Oh, no, you don't, Peavey. Your wife's out, and we need at least four players. But I don't really understand the game, Mr. Godice. We'll teach you, Peavey. Eh, Floyd? You got this time, Peavey. It really doesn't amount to much. All I've got is three queens and then these two aides. You take it, judge. Another hand, boys. Yeah, deal faster. I'll never get even. Gildersleeve headquarters. I'm sorry, Mr. Gildersleeve is very busy right now. This is campaign manager. Could I give him a message? Must be long distance the way the judge is shouting. Yeah? In just a minute, I'll ask him. It's the president of the Kiwanis Club, Gildy. They're giving a smoke for Friday night, and they want to know if you'll be the guest of honor. Oh, tell them I'd be only too happy. I suppose they'll want me to say a few words. Mr. Gildersleeve says that he'd be only too happy to say a few words. Ask him what topic they'd like me to speak on, judge. Oh, oh, I see. Just a minute. They don't want you to speak, Gildy. They want you to sing. Sing? What is this? I'm a busy man, judge. I'm trying to run a campaign. Tell him certainly not. I'm sorry, Mr. Gildersleeve is extremely busy with his campaigning these days, and he... What's that? Eight hundred. Dollars? Hold the wire. He says if you'll do it, he can practically guarantee you eight hundred votes. You better grab it, Gildy. Say, if rate a hundred votes, I'd sing all night. Mr. Gildersleeve would be delighted. He'll be there with his music. Well, what do you know about that? You're getting to be a regular thrush, Commissioner. Gildy, I've got it. I've got it by golly. I've got it. You've got what? The old fox has done it again. The old goat. Now, how did Papio Daniel get to be governor of Texas? Oh, Daniel? And he the guy that used to sing past the biscuits, Papi? That's right. He toured the state with a band, and he sang his way right into office. There's the keynote of your campaign. By George Horace, maybe you've stumbled on to something there? Stumbled my eye. Yeah, you know, all you need is a good campaign song, Commissioner. Look, like this one. Oh, brother, Floyd, where'd you get that piano? I don't know. It came with the joint. Now, listen. All the bottles of Coca-Cola. What do you say? Ready? You hold on. I'll be right down there. What's wrong, Gildy? Leroy, they got him down a police headquarters. What's Horace? Darned if I know. I thought he was home in bed, Judge. Anyway, it's persecution. That's what it is. By George, if Tuwilliger's back of this, I'll have the law on him. Come on, fellas. Come on, Floyd. Come on, PD. That's two for a nickel stooge of Mayor Tuwilliger's. That's right. You tell him, Commissioner. You fellas have better let me handle this. Tuwilliger can't push me around, and he can't push my family around either. Gildy, for heaven's sake, be tactful. Tactful. You're an appeaser, you old goat. Quiet. I think that we should leave Floyd and PD outside here. Okay. You need any help, Commissioner? Just holler. Now, I'll see you here, Chief. I'm not going to stand for this. Gildy, please. You can't push me around just because Tuwilliger is Mayor, and if I... No, well, no. Wait a minute, Commissioner. Nobody's pushing anybody around yet, so let's not start anything, shall we? That's what I've been telling him, Chief. Shut up, Gilder Sleeve, and let me represent Leroy. Well, he's my nephew, and I... Shut up. Give me a cigar. Cigar? Uh, here. Thank you. Have a cigar, Chief. Well, much obliged, Judge. Now, what's my young friend here charged with? Well, I haven't been able to figure out the law. On a judge, it might be a 92-an, and on the other hand, it might be a 316. What have you been doing, Leroy? Nothing, Uncle. Will you kindly let me handle this, Gilder Sleeves? Forget the law, Chief. What is it the boy's done? Well, he went around town, and all the Tuwilliger posters he could find, he put Hitler mustaches on them. How could you do such a thing, Leroy? I was just trying to help you out, Uncle. Don't you worry, Leroy. Look, Chief, can't we just forget this whole thing? Well, I'd like to, Judge, but Mayor Tuwilliger's pretty sore about this. He wants the guilty party punished. Yeah, Tuwilliger, eh? This is political persecution. That's what it is. Oh, no, no, no. It's not. Oh, yes it is. You're his chief of police, and he wants you to hamstring my campaign. I know. Any charge is good enough to throw at Gilder Sleeves. Gilder, please. Now, you're all wrong, Mr. Gilder Sleeve. Why, if you want to know, I had a complaint an hour ago about a terrible racket going on down at your headquarters. But did I do anything about it? I didn't even bother to call you. Rackets, you say? Well, that was the complaint. Disturbing the neighbors. But, Chief, we weren't making any racket. We were just singing. That's right, Chief. A little close harmony, that's all. Well, I figured it was something like that, that you know how these nuts are. They call up all the time, always talking about some little thing. Yeah, I know. You were harmonizing, huh? Yes. Too bad we didn't have the Chief there, Gilder. He sings a wonderful bass. He does? Well, that's just what we needed. Well, I'm no carouser. Well, the Judge is no Lily Ponds either. Why don't we just run through it once, Judge, while we've got the Chief here. Go get the boys, Judge. Well, this is very irregular, but if... Lloyd, Haley, come in here. M is for the million things she gave me. Come on, Chief. All means only that she's growing old. Oh, you're great, Chief. He is for the tears she shed the sand. Time. We better send the boy home, eh, Chief? Well, it could be a little irregular, but if the Judge is willing to close one eye, I'll close the other. Run along home, Leroy. I'll close the Judge's eye. All together. Get in and see if Leroy got home all right. Sleeping so peacefully. Cute little fella. All the cares of the day forgotten. Never a thought for the morrow. Fine boy. I holler at him a lot, but if he only knew, I love every hair on his cunning little head. Sweet dreams, Leroy. That character. Good night, everybody. Next week for the further adventures of the Great Gilders League. What's more, craft salad mustard is brandy used in cooking. Blend it into a golden sauce for hot-cooked vegetables or add it to a tempting cheese fondue or Welsh rabbit. 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