 The Lux Radio Theatre brings you Fibre McGee and Molly in Mama Love Papa. Ladies and gentlemen, your producer, Mr. Cecil B. DeMille. Greetings from Hollywood, ladies and gentlemen. Certain elements just naturally belong together. Apple and showers, corned beef and cabbage, Fibre McGee and Molly. For several years, the irresistible Mr. McGee and the immovable Molly have been helping make this a more cheerful world, and their weekly broadcast has become a national habit. Tonight, for the first time, they assume the mantle and buskin of the actor in legitimate drama, more or less legitimate, and star for us in the play Mama Love Papa. The combination of Fibre McGee and Molly and the Lux Radio Theatre is a brand-new one, but as natural as a team of Lux Toilet soap and a lovely lady. Fibre and Molly are standard entertainment. Wherever there's a radio in a living room, Lux Toilet soap is as standard wherever women are interested in how they look, and that covers a lot of ground. The chief problem we faced in arranging this production was the fading Fibre that he was an actor. After a long argument in my office, I finally had to threaten to play the part myself, for the public's sake he gave in. And after a week's rehearsal, I can really salute Fibre and Molly as two great troopers who deserve the stars on their dressing room doors. There's something genuinely American about their humor, something in the grand old tradition of Mark Twain, and all those who thought us how to laugh at ourselves. Mama Love Papa takes Fibre and Molly into new territory when Fibre, as Wilbur Todd quite accidentally, gets involved in politics. As Mrs. Todd, Molly is still his chief counselor and does our part to get him out of trouble after she's gotten him in. Our part at the moment is to see that the curtain goes up right away on the first act of Mama Love Papa, starring Fibre McGee as Wilbur Todd and Molly as Jesse Todd. If the locale of our story didn't have to have a name, we'd call it Average City, USA. If our characters didn't have to be called something distinctive, we'd refer to them as Mr. and Mrs. Everybody. As it is, our story takes place in Glendale and our people of the town. Like most of us, they're on average every day perfectly normal and happy families. Also like most of us, they have ham and eggs for breakfast, slightly burned toast, and a mild domestic fat. They've reached the last cross, the fat. What's the trouble? I didn't say anything. Was there trouble? Did I say anything? Well then why give me that black look? I'm just passing it on, Mama. This toast has been giving me a black look. See? Now listen, there's nothing wrong with that toast, Wilbur. Just a little burnt on the edges. That's good for you. It's why that's charcoal. I don't like charcoal, even with butter on it. Besides, Mama, it worries me. I know where to go to get cinders out of my eye, but when I get them in my throat... Now, now, you listen here, Wilbur. I told you time and time again we need a new toast. If you hadn't been so selfish and given up smoking, we'd have enough coupons by now to get a really decent one. All right, Mama, all right. I can't get you off to work every morning and straighten your cinders and shave the back of your neck and find your other sleeve garter and watch the toast roll at the same time, Wilbur. But, Mama, I didn't... What we need is a maid. Wilbur, stop scraping that toast whilst I'm speaking to you. Oh, excuse me, Mama. What were you saying? I said what we need is a maid. I don't want two of you just had a little more gumption. How's gumption going to get a maid? You know what I'm talking about. They don't appreciate you down at that office. You know they don't. You're worth twice the money you're getting now. More than twice the money. And if I were you, I'd certainly ask for it. How long have you been working for Mr. Kirkwood? Oh, ten years. Ten years. And not one raise in all that time. Not one raise. You are. I got a bonus one. You know what's the trouble with you, Wilbur? You're afraid of yourself. You haven't got any confidence in your own ability. Your thoughts are all focused inside of you. You're always scared of what people are thinking. You're a...invert, Wilbur. Introvert. Hmm? You mean introvert. How do you know? I read the same magazine article. Well, anyway, that's what you are. What you've got to do is show off, little. That's jokes with people. That's big. Then they think you are somebody. Like that Mr. Phillips next door. He's no invertor. Introvert. Well, he isn't. Besides, I don't know any jokes. Well, you could make some up, couldn't you, sis? No, no, maybe. You really think that would help, huh? Well, it certainly couldn't do any harm. Oh, Wilbur, I don't mean to be always kicking on you, but we're just not getting anywhere. You see that, don't you? We're right where we were the day we got married. I hate to think of where we might be ten years from now. It's only for your own good, Wilbur. I know, you're right, Mama, but don't worry. Things will be okay, and I'll... Well, I'll crack jokes for the best of them. You wait and see. Oh, it's not just cracking jokes. Well, you said it would help. Oh, Wilbur. Oh, gosh, there's the 810. I've got a run. Finish your coffee. No time, Mama. Where's your hat? I've got it so long, Mama. Aren't you going to kiss me? Oh, sure. Goodbye. You good girls don't take any wooden nickels. Don't you get it, Mama? Ain't funny, Wilbur. I do better on Tuesday. I'll be in that letter. And you may expect this order as soon as possible. That's right. Now, take this. Uh, let me see, uh... Mr. Todd, I wish it hurry. I've got to take a letter from Mr. Johnson yet. You ain't familiar. But don't like me, Mr. Bedaker. That is. Oh, uh... The, uh... The shipment will include the additional furniture for the sanctuary. Yours, very truly, Kirkwood Furniture Company, for Wilbur Todd. That'll be all, Mr. Bedaker. And that last sentence is that word, sanctuary? Yeah, sanctuary. Sanctuary much. Ha ha ha ha. Huh? Oh, never mind, never mind. Ha ha ha. Hey, hey, Todd. Yes, Mr. Burke, what is it? I just wanted to see you. Better get in there. Oh, sure. Hey, Burke, a rather amusing thing just happened here. I was dictating to you. All right, see me later, will you? And don't forget about Mr. Kirkwood. Oh, sure, sure. Good morning, Mr. Kirkwood. Come in, Todd. What took you so long? Well, I was just... Todd, I want to speak to you about that Chicago consignment. We're both way behind in our shipment. And if we don't put our shoulders to the wheel, we lose the whole order. Now, I want you to bear down on the facts. Make them jump, here. Yeah? Oh, you'll get it, Mr. Kirkwood. Yes, sir. Ha ha ha ha. What's the matter with you? Oh, pardon me, Mr. Kirkwood, but a rather amusing thing happened this morning. Huh? Yeah. I said a rather amusing little thing happened this morning. Ha ha ha. Miss Badeker said to me, I was dictating, you know. And she said to me, Mr. Todd, was that last word sanctuary? And I said, yes, sanctuary much. Ha ha ha. It was sort of a joke, you know. A comical. Todd, are you crazy? Huh? I'm just through talking myself off to you when you stand there and tell me jokes. But, Mr. Kirkwood, I don't... That's the whole trouble with business today. Everybody thinks it's funny. But, Mr... You don't see me laughing, do you? I'll take over. Well, remember that. And if you can't remember it, let me remind you that there are always 10 men waiting to take over your desk. Now, get out. Yes, sir. Just thinking over what you said, sanctuary much. That's very funny, Mr. Todd. It is, huh? It means I say thank you very much, doesn't it? Ha ha ha. Oh, I didn't get it before. Hmm. Oh, I almost forgot. Your wife's on the phone, Mr. Todd. Oh, thanks. Hello, Mama. Hello. Oh, fine, fine. Just dandy. Oh. You want me to pick up the hamburger on my way home? No. Oh, of course not. Well, you run along and have a good time, Mama. All right. Yes, I did. Goodbye. Marriage witherbound. Hmm. I'd like to hear that one myself. I leave one thought with you, ladies, that behind every man's success in this world, there is a woman who was behind Napoleon, by Josephine, of course, and who was behind George Washington, Martha, and who was behind King Solomon. Hmm. King Solomon had a great deal behind him. Oh, but seriously, though, in every man's heart, ladies, is the seed of success waiting, waiting in the darkness for the sunshine of a woman's encouragement to make it flower. Thank you. Now, are there any questions, ladies? Well, Dr. Paine. Yes, Madam? What I want to know is, well, how exactly can I sign on my husband? Oh. Well, may I see you after the meeting, Madam? Now, are there any more general questions? Well, but I just don't know how to go about it. I thought maybe you could suggest something. Well, Mrs. Hard, just what seems to be the trouble with your husband? Well, now I'm taking the first place. Just a moment. I haven't made too much time. My train, you know. Oh, well... Mrs. Hard, have you ever thought of the value of clothes? Clothes? As an expression of personality. Oh. As an advertisement, so to speak. Oh. To tell the world exactly what we are or what we would like to be. Does your husband dress well? No. Just warm. I thought so. He looks like an unsuccessful man, and so he is an unsuccessful man. Oh. He tells the world beforehand that no one is to take him too seriously, that his opinion on any matter of importance is not worth knowing. Oh, you mean if Wilbur would dress up a little, he'd get long hair. Of course, my dear lady. There's something about clothes, the right kind of clothes, that keeps the man on his toes spiritually alert as it were. Oh. You try and make him dress well, look important, and then watch him take his place in the world. Dr. Payne, I think you've got it. I won't do it. I won't wear a high hat for anybody. No, sir. No, no, Wilbur, I don't want any nonsense. You try that hat on again and see how it looks. But a high-filt hat, Mama. What will people think of me? How can I face my friends in a high-filt hat? You haven't got any friends. Well, I can hope, can't I? Oh, gosh, Mama, listen. Have you decided, sir, what that would be, please? This one here, the silk one. No, sir, I won't wear it. Wrap it up, please. Yes, madam. Mama, would you listen a minute? Keep quiet. Anything else, sir? No. Oh, yes, there is. He wants what goes with it, you know, with the high-filt hat. Oh, yes, yes, of course. The morning coat. Yes, the morning coat. And striped pants and a pair of pants. For me? And I want everything to be an expression of his personality, sir. I'll try, madam. A meal? Here. Mama, you're making a terrible mistake. This is a waste of money. This is a gentleman for a morning coat and thousands they need. We meet here. Mama, will you just be reasonable? Stamps in, Wilbur. When am I going to wear this? I haven't been to a wedding in ten years. You're not going to a wedding. Well, what's started this anyway? I... What's the matter? He tickles. Oh, cut it out, bud. Cut it out. Now listen, Mama. Now, sir, if you just step over this way... Mama. Mama, please don't let them do this to me. Wilbur, it's no you. If you had heard Dr. Payne yesterday, you'd realize what it means to be well-dressed. You've got to advertise yourself, Wilbur. Oh, Dr. Payne. So I've got him to thank for this, huh? Dr. Payne is a very successful man. Well, whatever. I bet he wasn't all dressed up in a high hat and fat, was he? No, he wasn't. Well, there you are. But he probably is dressed up when he goes to business. Yeah, when he goes to business. Mama. Mama, you don't mean that you expect me. You can't mean it in the office. That high hat? Oh, no, Mama. No. Oh, no. Someday Wilbur, you'll thank me for this. Oh, Mama. Dr. Payne, did you see Mr. Pogs this morning? Yeah. I saw him come in. He had on his silk hair. Yeah, and fast and fast. You look awful pale, didn't you? Yeah. It's too bad all right. I sure feel sorry for him. Good morning, Todd. Oh, hello, Bert. I'm awfully sorry, Todd. Was it anyone close? When's the funeral today? Oh, the funeral. Yes, the funeral. We couldn't help but notice, Todd, the clothes and all. Oh, man. Yes. Yes. And the whole force wants me to express their regression. Well, now, if there's anything we can do, don't hesitate, will you? Oh, yeah. Sure. Good morning, Mr. Federer. Good morning, sir. Good morning, Bert. Good morning, sir. Good morning, Todd. Oh, I'm sorry, Todd. The immediate family? Well, good morning, Mr. Kirkwood. No, not very immediate. Mrs. Todd's uncle. Oh, now that's too bad. That's too bad. Well, now listen, you needn't hang around, Todd. You just take the day off. Oh, but Mr. Kirkwood, that won't be necessary. Huh? Well, I mean, the noon hour will be sufficient. Nonsense. Nonsense. You ought to be home consoling Mrs. Todd. Now go on. Run along. Run along, Todd. Oh, but Mr. Kirkwood. Now you do as I say. Well, all right. Thank you. Not at all. And oh, Todd. Yes, sir. I'm sorry, Todd. I'm just up to go to work, and I think I'm going to a funeral. I've got to walk in the park all day, because I'm all dressed up. There's no place to go. I've got to go walking in the park. Hmm. Stop, sis. I've got to go. He's right in his living. I just put a sign here. Kess does not light up, madam. I can pull him. I can be crazy. Kess lights up with a sign. Hmm. Mama, he's mad. Well, who wouldn't be mad? Walking around in a park. Follows that stuff like you're going to. It's a matter with the world today. I'll tell you what, it's a matter with the world today, gentlemen. It's the idol rich, that's what. The idol rich you walk around in high hats and fasts in long tail cocks. Look who's coming. Now get along with that, gentlemen. Hey, you. Are you talking to me? Certainly I'm talking to you. Come here, buddy. Are you awakened, man, buddy? Are you awakened today, buddy? Well, uh, no, not today. Not today. Not today, man. What day, then, buddy? Well, I just... No day. That's what day is. Take a good look at him, folks. The idol rich. Floated with fools. Reakin' with champagne. Now, listen, I never bloated with champagne. Who do you think you are, buddy? Walkin' around here, floutin' your wealth in our face. I am not floutin'. Come on, get back to your limousine. This here park is for the common people. Nothin' he likes. Now you wait a minute, my client said that, friend. You can't talk to me like that. Folks, are we gonna stand for this? Get him out of here. He's a blood on the lid. You better be it, mister. What for? I haven't done anything. I got my right. Come on, folks. Give him the way. Oh, cut it out, now. Cut it out. Get him along! We'll work together, folks. Get the idol rich, give him the way. We can understand what he's goin' to say. Give him to the boy, get him on the head. I say, I say, now, I'm gonna pack a hook'em back to me. Police! Police! Help, help, police! Right over here, sir, right over here. Oh, officer, I'm certainly glad to see you. I need your help, officer. Yes, your, commissioner, I know all about it. And I'll get you there right away, commissioner. Who's the commissioner? Just get right on the motorcycle commissioner. Now, wait a minute, officer. Sir, I don't... Sir, I'm waiting for you, sir. The call went out a half an hour ago. Be on the lookout for the commissioner of parks. He's late. Get on the handlebars. No, wait. This has gone far enough, all my... Commissioner, do you want me to lose my job? Now, please, please get on the motorcycle. But where are you taking me? To the dedication exercises of the new playground. That's where you want to go, isn't it? What new playground? I don't know anything about a new playground. Well, you're supposed to be there. So they've been waiting for you. They can't dedicate the playground without the commissioner of parks. You know? Listen, I am not the commissioner. Hang on, commissioner. Take it easy. Take it easy. Don't worry, commissioner. I'll have you there. No camera calls. Boys and girls of today are the future voters of tomorrow. We must remember that this playground is a... Mrs. Macintosh, are you sure the commissioner was not decided to be here? Of course he was. My husband telephoned him this morning to remind him. But is he always this late? But how should I know? I've never seen him in my life. Nobody has. But it was your husband who had him appointed, wasn't it? Now, just a minute, Mr. Thomas. It was my husband that had you appointed, too. And if you have any claims, make sure to see him, but not me. I'm sorry, Mrs. Macintosh. The commissioner will get him up here. Well, here he is, Mr. Thomas. Now, listen, officer, this is a terrible mistake. Commissioner, you're late. Have you got your speech ready? Speech? Well, then you'll have to make it up as you go along. Ladies and gentlemen, he has just arrived. The commissioner has passed. Go ahead, commissioner. I don't know. Go ahead. Well, all right, then. Ladies and gentlemen. Ladies and gentlemen. Listen, I'm not going to make a speech in this rain, Mr. Everybody's leaving anyway. All right, forget it. Just a minute, commissioner. Can we get just one picture, please? What's this? Wait, commissioner. I wish somebody listened to me. I'm not the commissioner. Mr. Macintosh, would you get in this, please? Of course. Right here? There's a swing there. Well, commissioner, you give Mrs. Macintosh a push. But I'm not the... There we are. Thank you. Thanks, commissioner. Now, wait, wait. My name is Todd. I'm Wilbur Todd. Is that one D or two, sir? Todd. T-O-G-D. That's my name. Yes, sir. Thank you, commissioner Todd. We'll get the name right. Don't worry. Go along, commissioner. And stop. Oh. Just a second. What did you say your name was? Todd? Todd. With two Ds. Then you're not Mr. Roberts, the park commissioner? Todd, lady, with two Ds. Well, if you're not the commissioner, what are you doing here? That's what I'd like to know. I'm going home. And I just dare anybody to stop me. I just dare them, that's all. Good afternoon, Todd. Oh. Why, Mr. Kirkwood. Yes, very strange. I should happen to be at this dedication, isn't it? Yes, sir. I mean... And it's also very strange that you should be here, Todd. Mr. Kirkwood, I can explain it. I can explain everything. I'm sure you can. For shame, Todd. Why, Mr. Kirk... If you wanted a day off, why didn't you ask me? But to use the death of a derelation as an excuse to... Oh, for shame. But my derelation didn't die, Mr. Kirkwood. Then you lied. Yes, sir. I know, sir. If there's one thing I can't abide, it's a fiver. Todd, you're fired. Oh, sir. After a moment, Fiver McGee and Molly will return in act two of Mama Loved Papa. Do you remember a game you played when you were a child? Musical chairs, I think it's called. There's one less chair than there are children. So each time the music stops, one child is left out. Remember? Go on, keep on walking, Bobby. No, no. No better stop until the music really stops. No, no, Tommy. Tommy, get up. You must listen to sound till it stops. That's it. Don't hold on. Now! Why, Tommy's wise. Never mind, Tommy. Tommy, come here. There now. Don't cry. You know, it's Bobby's birthday. And don't you think on his birthday it's nice for him to win? I am glad he won because he's your little boy. And you're awful nice. You know I like you, Miss Moon. You're so pretty. And I'm still so nice for Tommy. Mrs. Dean has amused at Tommy's little boy compliment, but she's pleased, too. Because she's clever enough to know there's nothing makes a woman more attractive than that sort of immaculate freshness that women call daintyness. Men just know a woman is nice to be near. They're likely to tell her she's sweet. And clever women like Mrs. Dean do everything they can to protect this charm always. Thousands of them are taking the screen stars tip and using lux toilet soap as a bath soap, too. They find a daily bath with luxurious, active lather and delightful way to make daintyness sure. If you're not now enjoying the luxury of a daily lux toilet soap beauty bath, get three cakes of this fragrant gentle soap and try it, won't you? You'll love the way lux toilet soap's rich, creamy lather caresses your skin. Swiftly carries away every trace of dust and dirt. You'll like the delicate cleaning perfume that leaves on your skin. Now, our producer, Mr. DeMille, act two of Mama Loves Papa, starring Sibba McGee as Wilbur Todd and Molly as Jesse Todd. Right and early the following morning, the newspapers appear on the streets of Glenville. On page one, under the title Upsie Daisy, is a photograph of one Wilbur Todd, a tired and silk hat and fat, engaged in pushing a swing. On the swing is pictured Mrs. Franklin Avery Macintosh. The photograph and the story make very interesting readings, especially for Mr. Macintosh. Upsie Daisy. Park Commissioner Wilbur Todd makes merry with Mrs. Franklin Avery Macintosh at the opening of New Playground. Mr. Wilbur Todd, unknown before yesterday afternoon, pops up suddenly as our new Commissioner of Public Park. Who is this rabbit anyway? I never saw him before. Now, don't get all excited. His name is Pop. Yes, yes, I can see that, but who is he? Who is he? Where was Robert? Your very obedient Commissioner Robert, darling, never showed up. Oh, he didn't show up, huh? No word, no excuse. And suddenly, there was Todd. Yeah? Pop's out of nowhere to give you a push in the swing, huh? Oh, don't be ridiculous. I hope you're not going to be jealous of a simpleton like that. Jealous? Now, listen, Gladys, there's more than jealousy involved here. Don't you realize what this story does? No, I don't. All right, then let me explain. Do you know those pretty gowns and fur coats that you're so fond of? Do you know how I get them, my sweet? I sell furniture and playground equipment to our fair city. And the only reason I can sell to our fair city is that I have enough influence at the city hall to appoint my own Commissioner. Oh, shut up! Shut up, shut up. Talk to me as if I was a child. Well, maybe you are. If you were such a wizard at politics, why don't you appoint a Commissioner with brains? Because I don't want anybody with brains. Brains are a drug on the market. What I want is a moron. Well, you've certainly got one in what? Robert. Robert is through. I couldn't keep him in the job now if I wanted to. Not after this mess. Well, then appoint a new one. Sure, sure, appoint a new one. Just like that. Well, the newspapers have done that for me. Wilber Todd, our new Commissioner of Public Works. Wilber Todd makes merry with Mrs. Franklin Everett. Hey, hey, wait a minute. Gladys, this Todd person, what was he like? I told you. He looked like a radio comedian. A died in the woods. A died in the woods. Yes, yes, yes, but what does he do? Well, from what I could understand from the guy who was bawling him out, he's now unemployed. Oh, he is, huh? Well, well. Hello. Hello, Reed. Get me the city hall. Commissioner Wilber Todd makes merry with Mrs. Franklin Everett McIntosh at opening. Oh, Mama, stop it. You've read that thing 20 times. And I'm still trying to understand it. And I'm still trying to understand why you're not going to work this morning. I told you, Mama. I was fired. Fired. Look, Mama, it all started yesterday morning when I, well, when I left the office to go to the funeral. Whose funeral? Well, your uncle's funeral. My uncle's funeral. That man never had a sick day in his life. And yesterday you went to his funeral. But I didn't go. Well, how could you if he isn't dead? Oh, Mama, let's start all over again. You got me all dressed up yesterday morning. Not to go to a funeral. That's what you think. I never mentioned my uncle. Not a word. Did I tell you my uncle was dead? Did I? No, Mama. Well, heavenly days. Who did tell you? The boss. The boss. The boss told you that my uncle was dead. Oh, Mama, skip it, skip it. Nobody died. I didn't go to a funeral. I went in and out in the park to take a walk. Now we're getting someplace. Go on. And the next thing you know, that woman said my chest lit up. Oh, chest lit up. Go on, Wilbur. Well, then there was that other fellow I had to run away from because he told everybody I was loaded with food and licking with champagne. Ah, champagne. And when the cop put me on the handlebars, well, I didn't know what to say. Wilbur, it's all very plain. Well, that's good. I got you all dressed up yesterday to try to make a success out of you. And you went out and got drunk. Mama, I didn't get drunk. I didn't. Oh, it's no use, Wilbur. I can smell it on you right now. Mama, how can I prove it to you? Tell me how, Mama. I'm sorry, Wilbur, but you're a great disappointment to me. There's the door. I'll answer it. No, don't try to get up. I'll do it myself. You'd probably fall flat on your face. What is it, please? Good morning. Is it Todd here? Yes, he is. Who wants him? Well, we're from the city hall. The city hall? Well, I didn't get him. Wilbur? Wilbur, the city hall is here. There you are, Mama. There. I guess this will prove it to you. They want me for impersonating a commissioner. Todd. All right, bud. I'll go quietly. Oh, Wilbur. Just a moment, Mr. Todd. I have a little paper here. Ah, yes. No all men by these presents. Well, that won't be necessary. Just don't put the suss on me, that's all. Oh, Wilbur. One moment, please. By these presents, that by the power invested in me with the people of Glenville, I do hereby decrees of this state written that Wilbur Todd be appointed commissioner of public parks. Commissioner of? Mama. Oh, of public parks. Oh, Wilbur, a public man. Congratulations, Mr. Todd. Mama, what you said about me falling on my... Yes, Wilbur. Here's our good friend, Frank Mackintosh, the man that you and the city have to thank for your appointment. Oh, are you a commissioner? Hi, Bob. I hope I'll be able to justify the fact that you've sliced in me. Well, of course you will. Well, boys, suppose we run along. Oh, wait, don't let me put you out of your office. My office? Commissioner, this is your office. It is? Leathers, chairs, and everything. Well, say, I... Well, look, any time any of you fellas want to use the phone, just come in here. I seem to have three of them. So long, commissioner. Well, Todd, how are you going to like public life? Well, I... I don't know what to say about all this. I never been a big shot before. You'll get used to it. Oh, have a cigar? Well, thanks, but I... Oh, go ahead, go ahead. Well, Todd, if you're the smart man I think you are, you'll go far down here. I'll see to that. You know, you look like a man interested in little kitties. Oh, yes, yes, I am. I'm very fond of kitties. They're so, so full of... youth, I guess. Well, I'm fond of them myself. Like to see them get lots of fresh air, lots of play. You know, Phil's young American. Yes, he is. You see, I manufacture playground equipment. Oh, is that so? Yes, been filling the city's orders for years. Oh, by the way, did you know Robert? Robert? Yes, he had this job before you, but he bought equipment from another company. He got it cheaper, but the stuff's no good. Now, my price is high, but so is my quality. You understand? Oh, high quality, sure, sure. I understand, Mr. McIntosh. Oh, call me Frank. Okay, Frank. My name's Wilbur. Call me Todd. Well, Todd, any time I can give any help to you, just call on me. Oh, by the way, here's a little paper, you might sign. An order for new equipment. Nothing important, just a few thousand dollars. Oh, a few thousand, eh? Sounds reasonable. I'll look it over. You'll look it... Oh, yes. Yes, of course. Well, so long, Todd. So long, Frank. I don't know how to thank you for all this. Thank Mrs. McIntosh, he's the one. Mrs. McIntosh? Yes, he says you sure push a mean swing. Oh, God, say that, that was funny, wasn't it? Yes. Oh, by the way, are you married, Todd? Yes, sir, I certainly am. To the sweetest little woman in the world. Fine. Well, why don't you two come over to my place this weekend? We've got some people coming, the right people. You know nothing like meeting the right people. Oh, that'd be wonderful. Good, we'll look for you. Well? So long, Todd. So long, Frank. Oh, wait. Yes? Have a cigar. Hello, is this you, Mama? Listen, Mama, I don't think I'll be able to get home for dinner tonight. Do you mind? I gotta see the boys about something. I'm awfully sorry, Mama. Hello, is this you, Mama? Well, this is Weber. Won't be able to make it for dinner tonight, Mom. I gotta see the mayor. Pretty important. What's up? You gotta see the governor this time, I suppose. Oh, all right, Wilbur. No, I'm not mad. I'm just... All right, Wilbur, goodbye. I always had an idea it belonged to the city. Oh, well, you know what I mean. Me being the commissioner and all, it's like a dream, isn't it? Well, it has its point. It's nice to be in the public official and all, and plenty of money for each day. Plenty of money instead of change. How am I doing, Mama? You're improving, Wilbur, slow but sure. A woman has a stick. Hey, something must have happened. Oh, that little lad has a cut knee. Now, now, go ahead, Johnny. You take him home, will you? Oh, attendant. Attendant. Oh, good morning, commissioner. Something happened to that kid? Oh, yes. She saw a brook and cut his leg open. Oh, say that's bad. Does that kind of thing happen often? Well, not here, but over in East Park last month, there were four acts, one for the city. It's 40 material for this list. Oh, no, no, no. That's impossible. Boy, his stuff has quality. He said so himself. Well, it might have had quality once, sir, but it's getting awful old. Well, that's good morning, sir. Mama, did you hear that? I thought you told me there was new equipment being bought all the time. There is. Must be a mistake someplace. You know, when we go over to Macintosh's party, I think I'll ask him about this. Don't look now, darling, but the Macintoshers are inviting the most to kill your people. Who is she? Oh, you mean the one in the dress? Well, if you can call it that. Well, don't laugh, but that's the cross-commissioned flight. No, girl. Excuse me, but have you seen my husband? No, I'm afraid I haven't. Come on, Dennis. Nice friendly people around here. Oh, I dig your pardon, madam. Yes? I'm looking for my husband. Well, I'm sure I'm not hiding him. Isn't it wonderful how men can hide away and talk business all night? Yes, isn't it? Of course, I guess my husband's pretty busy with Mr. Macintosh. My husband's a public official. Hmm, how interesting. What did your husband do? Oh, he's still governor of the state. Ah. Good night. Good night. Listen, I'm having trouble with that Todd person. Again? Yes, he's been asking a lot of pool questions about the equipment we delivered months ago, and I don't like it. And he's got an order in his pocket. He's been carrying around ever since I had him appointed. Now, I want that order signed tonight. Oh, what's the big one? Oh, darling, do as I say. Get him to sign that thing, and I'll have him where I want him. He won't be able to open his mouth then. Well, what am I, a magician? How can I make him sign anything? Oh, Gladys, please, for the sake of that, you've raised what you've been asking for. Oh, all right. Well, thank heaven. Oh, there he is. Go ahead and good luck. Oh, Mr. Todd. Mr. Todd. Good evening, Mrs. McIntosh. All alone, Mr. Todd. No, I'm just looking for Mama. I'm eating my wife. Oh, I'm sure she's all right. Come and have some champagne. Champagne? Oh, I don't usually indulge you. Oh, but you will with me, won't you? Well, I... I guess. Well... Well... Come on, Mr. Todd. We'll find a nice quiet spot all by ourselves. No, there's no more. Wait for a thing. You know... Save a thing? Oh, you know the thing you are going to sign. Oh, the thing I... Oh, let's talk some more about that. Oh, no, no. No more talk. No more talk, Mrs. McIntosh. Oh, call me Gladys. Call me Todd. Todd. Todd. What? Oh, that's a cute name. Yeah. Well, I'm getting sleepy. How do you sell it? Sleepy? No, Todd. How do you sell it? Oh. The T-O double. Well, write it down and let me see. No pen. Oh, I got one. Here. No paper. Oh. What? You got some in your pocket. Right here? Oh, yeah. Oh, what's that? Paper. Now write. Sell out your name and let me see. Huh? Where? Right there. Down there. Want a medal for fellowship once? No. Sure. Honor Method. Oh. Watch this. I got curly cues on the end. Help me out. Oh, that's wonderful. Go on. capital T-O-D-G. Thank you. How's that? Oh, Todd. It's beautiful. Can I keep it? Sure. Hey, no, I'm sleepy. I could go to sleep. I could go to sleep. Oh. Excuse me, I did a... Oh. Oh, come in, Mrs. Todd. I'm afraid your husband is rather tired. Yes, he certainly looks it. He's a charming man. Who ought to take that account? My head. Put this ice bag on. Oh. What time is it? Three o'clock in the morning. Three o'clock? How'd we get home? We didn't hitchhike. Oh, no. I could only remember what happened. Isn't it terrible, Mama? I can't remember? It doesn't matter. Nothing matters anymore. What do you mean by that? It's not your fault, Wilbur. It's mine. I just don't fit into your high spirit. What are you talking about, Mama? Well, Dr. Payne says that a wife has got to be a help to her husband. If she isn't that, then she isn't anything. I thought I was doing such a wonderful thing when I tried to make you over. Well, I've made you over and I've put you out of my class. I can't help you now, Wilbur, so I'm just getting out. Oh, no. You can't. You can't do that. I won't make any fuss or scandal. I'll just leave. Oh, but Mama. Then you can go on and be a success without me hampering you. But Mama, I wouldn't know what to do without you hampering me, Mama. I'm sorry, Wilbur. My mind's made up and you know me when I make up my mind. Does your head feel any better, dearie? I don't know. It'll be all right in the morning. Good night, Wilbur. Good night. In just a few moments, our stars, Silver McGee and Molly, will return in act three of Mama Love, Baba. Now, let's imagine we're looking on at the scene at Pasadena Station. Molly, I don't see. Before she decided not to come. There she is there, all in gray. Don't you see? Oh, she looks lovely. You little Barbara, here we are. Come on, Marie, let's grab this taxi so we can get her home fast. Well, Barbara, here we are. This is your room. Think you like it all right? Think you like Hollywood? Oh, it's a darling little room. Look at the view, real palm trees and mountains. Oh, look, that must be a screen star. Just because you wear slacks and dog glasses? Oh, no, Barbie. Why, there are hundreds of girls here who do that. That's probably some poor little extra like us. But don't worry, you're going to meet some screen stars very soon now. Oh, Anne, you mean really meet them? Oh, tell me who. Let's surprise her, Anne. We'll tell you this much, Bob. We've been invited to have lunch with Loretta Young today. Loretta Young? Oh, goodness, I've got to start printing right away. Here's my soap. She's got lots of soap. She's got lots of soap to Hollywood. Well, of course I have. And I'm just about to give myself an active lather facial. What's so surprising about that? I saw practically everyone in Hollywood use luck soap. Of course, Barbie. Practically every girl in the movie here uses luck soap. That's just the point. We've stacked the luck soap in the bathroom. Always. And now Barbara, eager to look her best when she meets some of the famous screens you think she's admired for so long, is giving herself an active lather facial with luck toilet soap. That's the way the screens are used. Loretta Young, Barbara Sandwick, Irene Dunn, Anne Sheridan, Claudette Colbert, and lots of others. It's easy to do and quick. You can be sure that when Barbara arrives at Loretta Young, her eyes are bright with excitement. Her complexion will be looking it's freshest and loveliest. An active lather facial is a wonderful beauty pick-up at any time of day. And with the protection to the skin, a luck toilet soap facial at bedside is important. You know lots of Britain without realizing it. Gradually spoil their own looks through careless cleansing. Luck toilet soap active lather does a thorough job, a sure job. Get three cakes of luck toilet soap. That's the economical way. And give your skin 30 days of regular active lather beauty care. See if you don't find luck toilet soap care really works. Gives you wonderful help in keeping skin smooth, soft, and practical. The way you want it to be. The way it ought to be. We pause now for station identification. This is the Columbia Broadcasting System. It comprises on the third act of Mama Love Papa. It's said that troubles never come sinkly, but in series of three. Wilbert Todd has become involved with Mr. McIntosh. Number one, his good wife, Jesse, is on the verge of leaving him. Number two, and now to the mayor's office comes misfortune number three in the person of the Citizen Committee. I tell you, Mr. Mayor, the craft in this city must end. We have the press behind us, the voters, and the majority of our public officials. But nothing can be done unless we attack the evil at its source. A mere handful of grasping politicians who have a stranglehold in our city's finance. Gentlemen, gentlemen, please. I need to tell you that you have my whole heart at support. But you can't expect me to take action on every city official in the hopes of punishing the few guilty ones. I must have names. Mr. Mayor, we have the names. Just look at this list. At the top stands Mr. Franklin McIntosh. And here below are the men in his pay. Men he's had appointed to influential positions in order to milk the budget down to the last dollar. Mr. Mayor, this committee demands the immediate arrest of every person on this list. Gentlemen, we'll take action at once. Won't you think it over? Please, Mommy, you can't walk out on me like this. What's the use of talking, Wilbur? We went all over this last night. Look, Mama, I'll give up my job as commissioner. I'll find something else. I never wanted to be a big shot anyway. You can't do that. I won't let you. I always knew you had it in you, Wilbur. It just took a little coasting to bring it out, that's all. And someday, Wilbur, you're going to be a big man in this town. I can feel it coming now, and I'm not going to interfere. Tell me that first thing. Mama, you wouldn't interfere. You could be a big woman. No, no, not me. I'd only hold you back. And I want you to get everything that's coming to you. I'll get it. Yes? Good morning. This is the City Hall. Come in, please. Thanks. Wilbur, they're from the City Hall. Oh, I can't bother with that now. I'm not coming down this morning, boys. Oh, no? No. Well, I'm sorry, Mr. Todd. Well, so am I. Just let me alone, boys. I'm in trouble. Well, he says he's in trouble, Joe. Yeah. Yeah, and I'll beat it, boys. Cram. Sure, sure. I'm going to get the cuffs, Joe. All set. Hey, what do you mean cuffs? What is this? Oh, it's very simple. Todd, you're under arrest. Arrest? Wilbur, what have you done? I'm going to max. Hey, let me alone. Come on, Todd. Oh, oh. Listen, what is this? I haven't done anything. Of course not. Of course not. Mama, don't cry. This is a mistake, that's all. I can't put me in jail. They can't do it, Mama. They don't dare put me in jail. Hello, commissioner. Who are you? Sid, the name? Just call me Sid. Open up here, officer. What do you want? I come down to get you out. You're a free man, commissioner. Oh, I am, huh? Well, sure. You don't think Mr. McIntosh has ever heard you say in jail? No, sir. I got a rich for you, see? Oh, boy. That's quick words. Hey, when you're one of the boys, it's always quick words. Come on, commissioner. Mr. McIntosh wants to see you. Oh, he does, eh? Well, that's fine, because I want to see Mr. McIntosh. Gentlemen, I see you're all here. No casualties, I hope. There you are, Mr. McIntosh. Just a little mistake, boys, that's all. The citizens' committee got a little overambition. Yeah. These things happen every once in a while, but it'll all blow over. As long as we all stick together, gentlemen, they can't prove a thing. Here's the last one, Mr. McIntosh. The commission's out. Come in, Todd, come in. I'm glad to see you. I want to speak to you, Mr. McIntosh. Sure, sure. Have a cigar? I don't smoke. Listen, do you know where I was? I was just in jail. No. Well, that happens to the best of us, Todd. It happened to most of us this morning. Huh? Sure, but here we all are. Oh, have a drink? I don't drink either, and I want to know what this is all about. Now, look, Todd, you're a big boy now. There isn't really any Santa Claus, you know, except me. I've been St. Nick to the boys here for a long time. Oh, I get it. What? Well, you're nothing but a bunch of crooks. Now, you take it easy, Todd. You got me this commissioner's job so as you could put over some more funny deals. What are you talking about more funny deals? I know I may look pretty dumb, but I know how to read. You've been selling a lot of playground stuff to the city and all they've got to show for it is bill. The equipment in the playground is just the same. It has been the same for the last seven years. Not one piece of that new equipment was ever delivered. So what? Well, you're not going to get away with it. That's so what? I'll expose you and your friends and they'll run you out of town on a rail. That's what? Fine. And you'll be right there with us, Todd. You know that, I suppose. I haven't done anything. You gave me an order, commissioner, or don't you remember last night? Last night? I don't remember anything about last night. All right, then just take my word for it. You're all sewed up in this deal, commissioner, and you'll string along or land in jail. And this time, I'll forget to then sit down with a ret. All right, Mr. McIntosh. I guess you've got me where you want me. So maybe I'll just have to land in that jail. What? Now, don't be a fool, Todd. Mr. McIntosh, I'm not cut out for this and I can't argue with you. I'm just an ordinary small timer without too much brain. But I've got what you might call a conscience. You're not just fooling around with politics. You're fooling around with the health and the safety of little kids. Now maybe I can stay out of jail all right by stringing along with you. But I'm not going to stay out of jail if it means sending some kid to the hospital. Now you just go ahead and do your work to me. Because that's what I'm going to do to you. I could not leave without... Well, while you were in jail, you got out all right, huh? Well, I'm out now, but something tells me it's just a temporary arrangement. What happened, Wilbur? I gave that Mr. McIntosh a piece of my mind. I told him off all right, him and his whole crowd. They're close, Mama. No. Sure. There it is in the paper. See? But why you're here, too? Oh, yeah, I'm all over it. Wilbur, what's going to happen now? Well, first of all, I resigned. You mean you have no job? I haven't got anything. I guess I was born to be a failure. You'll be better off without me, Mama. No, no, wait. You just sit down there and rest. What you need is an ice-hot cup of coffee. But Mama, don't you have to catch a train or something? What train? What you said you... Now don't argue. You're just tired and hungry. I'll go see what's in the icebox. Mama. What? They're here, Mama. They've come to get me. Oh, don't worry. I'll wait for you, Wilbur. It's a 20 years. Open up here. Open up here. Open up. Goodbye, Mama. Goodbye, Wilbur. Come to see me in jail, will you? Yes, Wilbur. I'll bring you some nice cigars. I don't smoke, Mama. Yes, he is. All right, gentlemen. Here. Hey, say... Mr. Mayor. Good evening, Mr. Todd. Just a little expression of appreciation from the citizen's brother, Glendale. You've done a fine job, Mr. Todd. We'll have every one of those cooks in jail the morning. But what about Wilbur? Mr. Todd, your husband is public-spirited citizen number one. Oh, Mama, it's a dream. Wake me up. God, God... Oh, Rascal, you... Mr. Cutra. Wonderful work, Todd. Wonderful. That was a brilliant idea of yours. What idea, Mr. Kirkwood? Why, getting in with those cooks just so we could expose them. A regular undercover man, eh, Todd? Undercover man. Oh, yeah. Yeah, sure. And listen, Todd, if you're not going to be too busy, I've got a job waiting for you. The manager ship of the Kirkwood furniture company. Manager? Mama, did you hear? Oh, I always knew you'd be a big man, Wilbur. No, wait. Mr. Kirkwood, I don't want it. Just give me back my debts and my old job. That's all. Anything you say, Todd. What am I saying? Go ahead, Wilbur. My dear fellow citizen. All I got to say is... thank you very much. The curtain falls on Mama Love's papa. And returning to the footlights now for a curtain call for two of America's foremost actors. What are you staring at, McGee? Oh, I don't want to miss seeing two of America's foremost actors. I think he means us, McGee. Us, Mark? Yeah. Oh, thanks, Mr. DeMille. I can't think of a word to say. That won't last long. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Sibler, I've seen a long line of actors in the American theater. Edwin Booth, Henry Irving, Mansfield, Southern, all the Barrymore's, but you two... I think you're right, Mr. DeMille. Careful, McGee. Can't disagree with a man like Mr. DeMille. But Sibler, you didn't let me finish. Oh, now let's not change the subject. I was just going to suggest that if you ever get in a spot to Mr.... or, uh, CB... you know, Clark Gable or Spencer Tracy might break a leg on the way to the broadcast sometime. I'd only be two players. And that's you. The night's here, Clark Gable. Can I be Myrna Lloyd? Don't interrupt, Molly. Well, as I was saying, CB, that if you ever need anybody to sit ship for a Gable, I'll be glad to go in. Your generosity, Sibler, is the past only by your courage. Well, uh... Well, now that you're a great actor, McGee, let me be just Molly McGee and... And that's being something, Molly. As millions of people can testify. Well, now, just for that, Mr. DeMille, I said you a bit of news you'd be wanting to hear. No, no, Molly, no. Quiet here. Quiet. Why couldn't I tell Mr. DeMille I use luck soap, even if I'm not Myrna Lloyd? You don't have to be a movie star to use luck soap. And that's the truth, McGee. The less looks we have, the more important it is to see what we've got. And it's a dandy piece of soap that lucks is. I've never heard it put better, Molly. Don't forget about me helping out in place of Clark Gable, C.B. You'll be turning his head if that's possible, Mr. DeMille. We won't need it yet, Molly. Next Monday night, and I hope I've recovered my voice from the 300 Northwest Mounted Police when I just left it with us at the studio, the next Monday night we're counting on Gloria Jean, Robert Cummings, Nan Gray, C. Orbrit Smith, and Bueller Bondi. Our play is the underpup. And you'll hear these stars in the same roles they played in the Universal Pictures hit. It's a heartwarming story of a little girl from what some call the wrong side of the track, and how she straightens out the troubled lives of a good many people. She isn't really old enough to be an underdog, so our play is called the underpup, with 12-year-old Gloria Jean and the same part that brought her fame on the screen. Hey, Molly, we'd better listen in and get some pointers from a play like the underpup. Yes. Good night, Mr. DeMille. Good night, all. Good night, sir. We're both fabulous, and I'm not sitting. Our sponsors, the makers of Luck's toilet soap, join me in inviting you to be with us again next Monday night when the Luck's Radio Theatre presents Gloria Jean, Robert Cummings, Nan Gray, C. Orbrit Smith, and Bueller Bondi in the underpup. This is Cecil B. DeMille, saying good night to you from Hollywood. Heard in tonight's play were Lou Merrill as Mr. McIntyre, Celeste Rush as Mrs. McIntyre, Arthur Q. Bryan as O'Leary, Emory Parnell as Mr. Kerswood, Linda Douglas as Ms. Baedeker, Warren Ash as Dr. Payne, Al K. Dawson as Burke, Ralph Sadan as Clerk, Abe Reynolds as Sib, Victor Rodman as Thomas, Dr. soapbox orator, John C. as photographer, James Eagles as Attendant, K. Sutton as Granny, Barbara Jean Wong as Little Girl, Dwayne Thompson as Mother, Wally Mayer as Policeman, and Philip Tied as Broken. Sibramiggy and Molly appeared tonight through the courtesy of the makers of Johnson's Wax. Our play tonight was an adaptation of the Paramount picture Mama Loves Papa. Our music was directed by Louis Silvers, and your announcer has been Melville Roy. This is the Columbia Broadcasting System.