 Hi sisters. Today we're going to be talking about why James Charles has to apologize so damn much. What is up everybody? This is Chris from the Rewired Soul where we talk about the problem but focus on the solution. And if you're new to my channel, my channel is all about mental health. What I like to do is pull different topics from the YouTube community, try to teach you how to improve your mental and emotional well-being. So if you're into that, make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell. Real quick, I've had a ton of amazing requests from all of you the last few days. There's a lot of cool stuff happening already in 2019. Best thing that you can do is follow me on Instagram and Twitter. It's the exact same handle at the Rewired Soul. So you know when I post new videos, because some of you have requested me talk about different shows or movies or YouTube situations or whatever and tie it into mental health. So make sure that you're following me on social media so you don't miss it. All right. So the bulk of this video, we're going to be talking about James Charles. We're going to be talking about anger. We're going to be talking about impulse control. This is actually a continuation of the video I did just the other day about the psychology of James Charles drama. A lot of you love that video because I did a lot of neuroscience in it. So I'm going to try to do some more, but this is more of a continuation. So if you would like to click up in the info card, I'm going to link that video I did as well. All right. So anyways, some people are, you know, painting James Charles as a hypocrite because today he and Jeffrey just released their video where they're pretty much destroying a bunch of makeup palettes. Now real quick, before I jump into this, like, can we talk, can we just talk about Jeffrey Star for one second? So on Snapchat, Jeffrey said this. All right. And you guys know, I'm going to start off the new year with a bang tomorrow. I'm uploading my first video of 2019 featuring sister James Charles. It is a good one. We got the sledgehammers ready and the flamethrower and Ms. Mama. Just wait until you see what really happens. I know there is a lot of speculations. So much tea like James got mad about a girl destroying his palette. How dare him? Girl, wait till you watch the video because you don't know what happens. Thanks. And then this happened. It's time to move on, baby, because in 2019 we're vaccinating our kids. Really, Jeffrey. All right. All right. So I think I think what Jeffrey was referring to about this video not being what you think it is. Really cool. Jeffrey and James Charles announced that they're both donating $25,000 each to women's shelters in Los Angeles, which is awesome. Very, very, very, very cool. But today we're going to be talking about impulse control and anger and all of that. So one thing that is very well known of James Charles is the drama he's had this year in 2018, but he always apologizes. All right. So we're going to be talking about why he apologizes so much. I'm going to use some of my own experience and you might be able to relate to it as well. So the first lesson I want to teach all of you, the very first lesson, like the best lesson we can all learn from James Charles, aside from like blending and like, what else does James Charles teach you, Tristan, like how to put on like this stuff up here on the eyes? Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. The best lesson that we can learn from him is this. The second you experience an emotion is not the time to post on Twitter. Let me repeat that. The second you experience an emotion is not the time to tweet something out. So James had a little bit of an issue with another influencer because she destroyed his palette. But that's exactly what James Charles did in this video. But James kind of explained it away like this. Well, I just got into a scandal regarding this actually because there was a video circulating of a girl who destroyed my palette and when I first saw, I got really hurt by it. Yeah. Obviously, I had worked on it for so long and also too. It's been sold out everywhere. So all you to get personal, right? I was getting tweets that were so upset of people that couldn't get it. And I was like, Oh my God, this girl went just to destroy it. But after further thought, like, once she was getting hate comments, which is so not okay in any way she performed. So I felt really bad. But two, like it's her money and you can do what you want with it. And like I just, it hurt at first, but I was like, let me get over this. It's not that deep. So in my other video, I explained how James Charles is still young. His prefrontal cortex is still developing. And part of this is impulse control. This is one of the reasons James Charles tweets so many things out that combined with emotional regulation, right? James Charles feels some type of way and his mind tells him aside from ego, and I'm not saying James Charles is egotistical, which he might be, but our ego says that we're justified. We need to put this information out there. We need to say something about this person, right? And, and James did this right when he found out the news. And this is why it's so important to meditate and develop your own pause button. All right. Part of meditation is strengthening a prefrontal cortex so you can pause and make better decisions. And this is so, so, so important because what happens to a lot of us is that we come off like hypocrites. So something that I didn't talk about the other day when it comes to the prefrontal cortex is one of the responsibilities of the prefrontal cortex is empathy. So what James Charles figured out later on was, oh my God, like, you know, he actually put himself in Lauren's shoes. He's like, oh, she bought it. She can do whatever she wants with it. But in that moment when his emotions were taking over, he didn't have that type of empathy. He couldn't see from her side. So here's a great example about how I work on my impulse control as well as my emotions. There was something that James Charles did. I forgot which thing it was. It was months ago, but I had a lot of people who wanted me to make a video about James Charles tweeting something out. And I just ignored it. I didn't make a video about it because basically what happened was somebody said something on Twitter and James Charles clapped back at him, like sticking up for himself, defending himself. He got a little sassy. Like if any of you follow me on Twitter, you see that I post comments that I reply to all the time where I'm clapping back. So think about it. If I didn't have the impulse control, like if my brain says, yeah, Chris, make a video on that just to get views. If I didn't stop and pause and think about it and think about James Charles situation, try to put myself in his shoes, ask myself why he did that. Then I would have made a video. Then all of you would have came at me calling me a hypocrite because I do the exact same thing. And by the way, I'm going to make a video explaining why I do that because I think it's very important that we talk about it because a lot of you understand why I do that. And some of you don't. But I hope you're starting to understand why we need to stop and pause because when our emotions are taking control, we can become hypocrites. So like here's the thing, like one of my biggest fears in life is being a hypocrite. And even though I love when you guys call me out, I have my beautiful girlfriend over here, Tristan. She really enjoys calling me out on stuff. Like I try to pause and like think about the entire situation as a whole to make sure that I'm not a hypocrite, especially when I'm in a position that I'm in, right? Not only just, you know, being a YouTuber, but also when I'm talking to other people about their mental health, like it's hard for me to teach or preach something that I'm not doing myself. You see what I'm saying? So something that I talked about in my book, Rewire Your Anger, is apologizing, all right? So let's talk about this real quick. James Charles, like it's great, it's great to apologize, but let me tell you this, let me let me let you in on a little secret about Chris. I hate apologizing. I don't know if you can relate to that, but I hate apologizing. I hate it. I hate it. I do it, but I hate it, all right? And you know what the trick is to quit apologizing so much is quit doing things you need to apologize for, all right? And that is why we need to control our impulses as well as our emotions. Do you see what I'm saying? Because when I don't have control over those things, I keep doing a bunch of ratchet things that means I have to apologize to people. And then I feel dumb because I have to apologize for something. So like, I always tell you guys, I'm always trying to teach you guys mental health is more than just not having a mental illness, okay? Mental health is impulse control. Mental health is controlling your anger. You see what I'm saying? So like, I no longer lash out on people and have to apologize for something. I have only done two apologies on my YouTube channel with almost 700 videos and both of them were very minor, very minor. There were more corrections and apologies, but I did understand why people might, you know, see what I was saying in a different way. So I went back and I corrected myself, all right? But I used to be a drug addict and alcoholic who constantly had to apologize to people, not only for like lying, cheating, and stealing, right? But a lot of it was from my anger, my emotional outbursts. Like, when I first got sober, I had so many anger issues. It's one of the reasons why I wrote my book, Rewire Your Anger. I had so many anger issues and I felt so bad. Like, can you relate to that? Let me know down in the comments below. Do you feel bad about the anger that you experience where you lash out on other people? Because I felt bad about it. And by the way, that's proof that you're not a terrible person because you actually feel bad about it. But I would ask and be like, man, what do I do? I just freaked out at my mom and it was totally uncalled for or whatever. And they said, here, go apologize and try to correct the behavior. I'm like, dang, I hate apologizing, right? So something that I learned was quit doing stupid things that you have to apologize for. So I hope you realize if you're new to my channel, this video isn't for James Charles. This video is for you. So if you can relate to James Charles always having to apologize, how about you start going to therapy? How about you start meditating? You know what I mean? How about you start running your ideas past other people? Something that I do constantly that y'all don't even know about really is that I'm constantly running ideas past Tristan for YouTube videos for tweets. You know what I mean? Like, do you think this would cause a problem, right? Because my ego says I should do it. But thank goodness, Tristan has a very level head and she can be like, nah, that's maybe a bad idea. All right. But anyways, if you're struggling with anger issues, check out the description below. There's some resources like my book and some other stuff. Come to the discord server. We have an entire chat just for venting so you don't got to tweet stuff out and then apologize later. All right. Anyways, that's all I got for this video. If you liked this video, please give it a thumbs up. If you're new, make sure you subscribe and read that notification bell because I make a ton of videos and a huge, huge, huge thank you to everybody supporting the channel over on Patreon. And by the way, if you are a patron, go check out the tiers because I just changed a bunch of stuff. There's a bunch of cool stuff that we're offering now such as group sessions and one on one calls and all stuff like that. All right. Thanks again for watching and I'll see you next time.