 Welcome back. We shall resume. We were talking about microskills and the first skill that we were looking at was attending skills. We are at the portion where we said attending skills can be developed in three specific ways through verbally, non-verbally through body language, through listening and observation. So we just completed the 3Ds. We're going to be looking at the next one, which is the body language. So when we're looking at the body language, we're saying what is body language? It describes these messages, the non-verbal messages that we sent through the posture, through our gestures, through our movement, through our physical appearance and maybe sometimes even how we come adorned or how we come out. So your body position should convey to your counselling your interest and your involvement. A positive or a good body language is demonstrated by a relaxed posture, a steady eye contact, the nods of the head, which can be occasional and of course an occasional smile or a happy expression. So some of the important things as we get body language is of course one is to face your counselling and have a more open, relaxed and attentive body posture as this definitely will assist in putting your counselling at ease. It's good to at some point to be able to lean forward slightly, especially your upper body a little bit towards your counselling. You can use good gestures like head nods also to come appropriately dressed to be appropriate in not to be a distraction to your counselling, not to come too shabbily dressed or not to come to highly adorned to keep away the distraction from the counselling. Also let your counselling decide the physical distance between you and them by sometimes letting them arrange their chair in a way for their individual comfort but make sure that you're also comfortable with that kind of a personal space boundary. Generally an arms length or more is what is recommended. It's okay to have like a table and chair that are sometimes table and chairs are used, sometimes table and chairs aren't used but generally a lot of times table and chairs are kept away so that you know there's more openness through the session. Something that we use is mirroring and this was suggested that in a way to assist your counselling to relax counsellors can include in their skills the matching of some non-verbal or body language. This may take some time to learn but it begins with the counsellor sitting in somewhat the same position as the client. For example if at first sight your counsellor is sitting at the edge of their chair and it may be showing a little bit of nervousness the counsellor can also reflect that kind of sitting a little bit more forward putting your legs down and as the counsellor speaks more the counsellor can either lean forward to indicate and when you're leaning forward you're indicating empathy and understanding or maybe slide back into the chair into a more relaxed position. So the conversation is helpful when you're also showing your counsellor that you are with them in the space that they may be in. One of the things that we would want I know this may not fit in here but just to make mention about time keep it structured. There should be a linear view of time be on time for appointments when you ask them and stop on time because it's always good to respect the time of people unless of course they're in the think of a conversation you could remind them you know we had scheduled for a one hour conversation it may go on to a little more is that fine with you or would you like to bring this up maybe the next time. So it's good to keep some of this in mind as you're discussing this with them. So a quick acronym for how to use your body language is SOLAR which is S to sit squarely facing the counsellor to have an open non defensive body posture to lean slightly towards the client or your counsellor to have a good eye contact and to be more relaxed and comfortable. So this is a good way to ensure that you are attending to your counsellor in a comfortable way. So I just have an example here for you and let's look at what we can find. So here's the counsellor the counsellor is saying so Tina how did you enjoy the holiday you went with your husband last weekend. So Tina she looks away from the counsellor averting her eyes and responding in a faint voice yeah it was fine okay. So do you think there's a mismatch in the verbal and the nonverbal reactions of Tina? If so what would you do to address it or how would you address it yeah any thoughts is there a mismatch let's look at first of all if there's a mismatch a big word faster okay a big mismatch alright okay so how would you address it how would you bring this up because you've noticed it that what she's saying and how she's responding in her body language is definitely not the same so how would you address it someone wants to try I would ask her a slight question for instance I can say would you like to elaborate more by what you mean that it was fine okay excellent good so you what you're trying to do is not make an assumption that quickly you probably want to hear a little bit more to see what she'd say wonderful alright excellent anything else any other way that you would like to address it nobody okay so something that you can say is Tina was everything okay through the holiday right you could ask a question directly when you have sense that you could say Tina was everything okay during the weekend you could say that or you could respond by saying it appears that there was something that there was something wrong is that right so you could definitely ask remember what you're doing is you are attempting to help the councillor see that you've noticed something so if there wasn't now let's suppose it was maybe a mistake or you know she was just preoccupied she said no no no it was actually quite fine it was you know I really enjoyed you should bring that up so it's always good to recheck okay so let's just try one of this I you know generally when we are on a face-to-face I kind of do these role plays but nevertheless what is one way that you could help these people open up okay so let's try this one a nervous and scared teenager is forcibly brought by her parents to you what would you like how would you like to attend so this definitely has to be verbal how would you like to attend and get the person to maybe open up they're really quiet they're not saying anything they're just nervous and they're scared they're sitting right in front of you what could you say to help them open up if it's a teenager I think you can always start with something they would love to talk about not like anything that they came for or anything about the parents just a normal conversation I think just a normal conversation maybe yeah what do you like to play or some you're saying something that they would enjoy good excellent alright that's one way anything else maybe just a very normal conversation like how are you doing or something that can make them comfortable with you rather than intimidated okay alright anything else so something that I generally do over here is you know I say hi to them I say you know I really appreciate them for coming in it's a really appreciate that you come in here and then I ask you know I'd like to it's like a curiosity just ask you a question I would be really scared sitting here do you also feel the same so I kind of help them to feel comfortable that it's okay to be scared it's okay to be nervous or it's okay not wanting to sit there or I may say you know I really am interested to understand did you really want to come here or were you just forced by your parents and very often I get a very honest answer I really didn't want to come I was forced to come right so in any way that you are able to pick up pick up on what is happening and move it into the next phase where you're able to get them to open up okay alright we'll go to the next one the next one is the entire range for attending by listening okay now you know so through this a lot about counseling is about listening right it's one of the biggest ways that you show your counseling that you there is an ability to listen you are you you're choosing to listen so it is the ability to attend to what your counseling is saying to be patient to not step in to give them the space to give them the freedom to share what they need to so listening is that ability okay now what is the purpose of listening maybe this is something that we all do understand and we all know but for us to really understand that it activates something for your counseling so one when you let your counseling know that you're listening and what is it that you are demonstrating is that you are attempting to understand what they're saying okay it helps them see that you're making an effort to understand what they're saying now what when you are listening you're actually also helping your counseling to clarify some things that they are talking about maybe this is the first time they're actually talking about their problem otherwise they are only turning a lot of things in their head but when they're talking they're beginning to have a lot of clarity in their confused mixed thoughts that may be there listening also helps your highlighting issues by stating them more concisely so what are you doing is maybe your counseling has told you a one hour story once you have listened you've handpicked maybe important things and you've stated out back to them right you've said okay for all from what I heard from you these are certain highlights or these are certain places that you really want to focus and work on and this is what I hear your feeling or this is how you're thinking about this so whatever the content is you're actually picking carefully by stating it more precisely and concisely for them now when you are listening you're also what are you doing you're also checking how accurate you are in what you have understood or what you have perceived okay from their story about the facts as well as their feelings or their thoughts so when you are listening remember listening does not only mean just using your two years and being excited there are other things to it which I will unpack for you so it shows the accuracy of your assumption or your understanding about certain facts or about their feeling about where they are and that's why it's highly important now there are certain skills of active listening it's not just about hearing and listening to them it's also something that you do to respond which means the certain skills of active listening are paraphrasing, clarification reflection or responding to feelings and summarizing now these are there are more I've just picked up the most important ones if you look at counselling books you may find a lot more of other skills but I've just picked up what are the most important ones okay so as your counselling is talking one of the things you will you may need to do is to paraphrase what does paraphrase mean it is you are bringing the essence of what your counselling has expressed so you are expressing one may be the content or the meaning of what the counselling is saying or it could be a series of different things that they are saying okay so it also means to restate it in different words because of the lack of space and over here I haven't bought about long stories right but I've just kind of put some things over here to help us understand okay so the counsellor here oh sorry I've written the counsellor it should be the other way right it's counselling is saying I'm really doing my best to get on along with somebody with my parents right so the counsellor she's saying is it's just restating something in different words oh I see that you're trying really hard or very hard to be friendly with them it's a restating of things so especially when there are long stories and they've given you very very minor details which may not really have any impact for the situation okay like I went here and then I went there the 10 people were sitting there they were wearing black and red and we were served coffee and then we had lunch there and then we slept over that night those details may not be necessary so you filter out some of that and you restate what is absolutely needed now how is paraphrasing done one of the important things to do is to restate basic ideas and basic facts okay so you're rewording the message and not parroting or repeating and not you generally you don't use the same words or you can use some of the same words especially some things that they use you know they say you know they put it in quotes and say you know this is what they think this is what they think about the family so you can use that you know you feel that this exactly words is what they use about it but it's basically using fewer words without really changing the meaning of it so here's a couple of examples to help to understand that so here the councillor is saying I don't know about her one moment she's really friendly and the next time I see her she's totally cold so the councillor says it seems like you haven't experienced her as being very consistent isn't it so you're paraphrasing something the person said so that they could continue one with the rest of the story or another one every moment there is something new to do there must be 10 different things going on at the same time so the councillor says here there are a lot of activities I see that you need to choose from right or councillor councillor here councillor is saying he's really crummy his degree is from a non credited school he had very little training and he has a poor relationship with his wife so the councillor says I mean that you think that he's very competent right so these some of the things it needs you it it's important that you listen carefully so that you're able to reflect what this what they're saying okay okay would you like to practice some just so that we have some idea of how to get this going so here's the example I'm completely worn out it's twice as difficult for me to get around now with physical disability and my family things I'm feeling sorry for myself okay would you like to anyone would like to attempt paraphrasing okay unless we try we're not going to yes go ahead thinking okay alright thinking I can try yes go ahead yeah maybe something like this I see that you're frustrated because of your disability as well as people are sympathizing over it yeah that's good very good okay one more person you can put it up on the chat also if you don't want to speak okay maybe I'd say something like this you really look exhausted trying to adjust to the situation and it seems that your family also really doesn't understand right so that's a way let's look at maybe another example I've had it with my son and had to bring his lying with my husband I don't feel all alone dealing with the issue now how do you paraphrase you don't understand it's okay the son has been lying and he's bought the lying to the she's bought the lying to her husband she says she doesn't feel all alone she's had it with her son which means she's fed up and because of his constant lying she's bought it to her husband and now she feels she doesn't feel all alone dealing with the problem maybe something like you're feeling more supported you're feeling more supported as you could share this concern with your husband wonderful great so I'd say something like you know it sounds like you're feeling much better after having talked to your husband about your son's lying right so it's just a way to one it helps you kind of consolidate all that you've heard and you're also reflecting back to them okay and just trying to see if there's another example what are some of the things you can use so how can you start what are some phrases you can use to paraphrase so it becomes easier so you can use so what I hear you saying is or it sounds like you or if I understand you correctly or you're telling me that you know so all of this helps in engaging with your counseling alright the next listening skill and this is really important is reflecting feelings now this is very much like paraphrasing except you're restating what you think the counseling is so in this you're adding you're like I think we did a few examples previously you seem to feel exhausted dealing with this on your own or you feel relieved that your husband has so that was also reflecting feelings paraphrasing is about it appears that you're at peace right now after having discussed with your husband so this it adds a certain feeling so what are you doing here it's showing your counseling that not only do you know that you've heard what is being said but you've also added feelings and emotions to what the person is feeling so it restates words not just the content but it's also restating certain feeling so let's look at this example okay the counseling says my ex-wife phoned me yesterday she told me that our daughter is very ill after a car accident I'm feeling very scared for her they live in the Middle East so I'm going to have to travel to see her and now I have been made redundant I don't know how I can afford to go so the counselor says so you've had some bad news about your girl who has been involved in an accident you're frightened for her and also have worries over money now since you've lost your job so the counseling is saying yes yes that's right so here it says notice the counselor does not offer advice or starts asking how long he and his wife have been separated but is reflecting the emotion of what is being said you know she's frightened or she's you know she's lost a job you're not going into finding out how did you lose your job or how did the girl have an accident or why did you why did you why were you separated none of that it's just really reflecting what she is saying okay so shall we practice this so the counselor is saying so many things are going on right now another hectic semester has started my dog's sick my mom's ill too I find myself running around trying to take care of everything I'm not sure I can take it anymore okay someone wants to try yeah you can say that I feel that you're so tired of life and there's a lot of responses coming in okay good excellent oh something very simple as you feel you're feeling extremely overwhelmed by the simple things that's happening in your life right now okay so good excellent another example that I can put up alright so we'll go to the next one which is clarification now in clarification what you're doing is you want to clarify what you think you have heard and understand if you're and figure out if your understanding is right okay by using that clarity so what what are you doing here you're showing genuineness on your part and you're showing interest in what your counseling has to say so they may not have completely given you adequate full information but this is where you are really trying to figure out if you have picked up exactly what they're saying so some of the some of the pieces that you can use is you know I'm not quite sure I understand what you're saying or I don't feel clear about the main issue or you're saying when you said this what did you really mean or could you repeat certain such like for example they will say something like you know we have an okay relationship okay maybe she's talking about some relationship we have an okay relationship so what do you mean by okay relationship right so you need to understand that so when so you can ask that when you said you have an okay relationship what do you mean right what did you or how do you see this or I'm unable to pick up what exactly that meant would you help to clarify that so that really builds up whatever the content and whatever they may be going through in that situation okay and the last one that we're looking at is summarizing summarizing you know as the word which is something that you all would have probably done in school right it is putting together every content or all the main themes the feelings and maybe even the issue so they are basically they are cutting down everything and bringing it to a close like for example this generally happens in a after a session right so you say you know today we discussed about three things we spoke about how you've been feeling about this this this you've decided you really want to focus on this and you feel this thing can be kept for later maybe the next time when we speak we're going to be looking at this and this and this so it you're just kind of gathering everything together picking up the important pieces so that it brings in more clarity not just for you but also the other person so why is it necessary it's because sometimes your counseling may be giving you a lot of content you know lots of lengthy stories and information so it's helpful to keep the focus on the right thing or you know suddenly they are talking about one thing but they've already gone into something else they may be maybe like usually in a couple sessions they're saying maybe the council the topic is about you know how how can we respect one another so one of them started yeah he can respect me by doing this this is you know yesterday when we went over there this is what he said and he refused to respect me and that's when my daughter also bought this up even she thinks this way and he just doesn't know how to you know how to be responsible for my daughter so you see how this entire start of respect has gone into something else so when you're kind of summarized you're saying okay this is what we spoke about you know this is where we are so you're helping them to stay focused and move away any kind of details that are unrelated okay and you're also you give them a direction you're helping them move in one certain way because counselors can tend to lose focus very often and move away from the point of discussion so it's like you're bringing them back when you are bringing to a place of summary now there are different kinds of summaries so the focusing summaries is usually used in the beginning to pull together the prior information you're summarizing what has happened in the previous session signal summaries are used to signal that you have captured the essence of a topic okay so you've said okay I've understood that you're trying to tell me that maybe in your childhood this is what was the problem and you feel that's impacting your current situation so you said okay I understand that let's move on to the next one planning summaries are that helps to provide closure and I used to recap the progress the plan or anything that you may want to do ahead so depending on what stage of the counseling you are it you use these different different kinds of summaries okay let's look at an example okay so counseling here is a young girl at the beginning of the session she's saying I don't understand why my parents can't live together anymore I'm not blaming anybody but it just feels very confusing to me and she says this in a low soft voice with the lowered moist eyes in the middle of the session she says I wish they could keep it together I guess I feel like they can't because they fight about me so much maybe I'm the reason they don't want to live together anymore and so the example of this is the example of summarizing is earlier today you indicated you didn't feel like blaming anyone for what's happening to your parents now I'm sensing that you are feeling like you're responsible for their breakup so there are maybe two ideas which may be contradicting to one another but through your summary you've actually bought about these two things you know you don't feel like blaming anyone but you seem to be blaming yourself right so that helps in the counseling themselves seeing the kind of differences in the way that they have shared something so introductory phrases for summary these are the key ideas you've expressed or today we discussed these following issues based on our discussion we agreed that we will do such and such remember that you should whatever what I have heard you say so far is okay so these are that's what when we're looking at summarizing now there are certain barriers that we see that can come against our ability to listen and you know it's important to really be aware of these barriers so one when you know you're daydreaming the person is saying a big story and you've gone off to sleep or you're in another world that's a huge barrier you need to get back to the entire situation when you're thinking about your own experience you're saying oh you know and you've gone off on your own the same thing happened to me okay remember you're not there to talk or think about your problem there you're there to actually listen to them okay maybe thinking about something quite different while the other person is talking okay or even rehearsing that is you're thinking about what should I say next what should I say back this what am I supposed to say how am I going to go this and that generally happens when we are new to counseling and that's happened to me very many times in the beginning I don't know what to say next or we're filtering that is they're only listening to the nice parts of the conversation and not to the boring parts okay or we're judging where we've stopped listening because you've already said okay I'm sure this is a you know she's an attention seeker so best and you've closed of your mind okay or ignorance or prejudice where you are you know you're not able to you either have a bias to what is being said okay or you've understood about a bias and that in itself becomes a huge huge issue in the way that you're able to listen okay the next one is attending by observation now what is observation it is paying very clear keen attention to the behavior of your counseling the thought of information can be just picked up by your observation of them okay so remember that while you are interpreting these non-verbal behaviors you need to always check back rather than absolutely concluding it is good to check back because sometimes like for example you may know that when someone sits with their hands tight close to them it's known to be a very closed attitude right but it may not only be that it could just be that the person is quite comfortable sitting that way but it may give you a clue to that okay so here are certain possible interpretations that these are possible interpretations a possible meaning okay so don't look for someone who who's you know if you're seeing any such expressions don't label them as that it's a possible interpretation so direct eye contact mean attentiveness a lack of contact could mean a sense of withdrawal looking down or looking away could mean avoidance or preoccupation fixed staring could be uptightness or psychosis okay remember this is only possible meanings okay there could be anxiety or excitement squinting or a wrinkled brow could mean annoyance dilated pupil could mean alarm or interest okay what about interpretations for facial expressions a flushed face that is a face that's kind of red or something could be embarrassment or anxiety please don't you know sometimes people have flushed faces when they just walk in from the sun okay so even as you're making these meanings eyes being wide open and mouth opening a surprise or sudden insight a furrowed brow with a tight mouth could mean irritation it could mean a deep thought it could mean even just a rejection okay of what someone is saying like you're saying something and immediately they have a brow like that they're either they can't understand okay or they may be it's a rejection of what you're saying the interpretation for shoulders and arms you're shrugging of shoulders could mean an uncertainty or an indifference slouched shoulders could mean sadness or withdrawal shyness it could also mean a bad posture folded arms could be meaning a closed attitude or being close to contact or having a distance emotionally open gesturing shows a lot more of openness stiff or unmoving could mean anger or anxiety what about legs and feet when you're crossing and uncrossing could mean either yourself especially crossing could mean a self-protection or it can mean anxiety or nervousness or depression foot tapping you know your foot this way can mean anxiety or impatience stiff or controlled movements could be generally someone who's very close to contact or having a repressed attitude or it could also mean someone has sore muscles okay body movement when you lean forward it's being attentive and showing interest leaning away or back could mean withdrawal could be rejection turning to the side could mean impatience or a fear of rejection rocking or repetitive movement could mean anxiety a bad habit or it could also mean someone has a disorder like there are certain developmental disorders that could have these rocking movements or habitual movements could mean impatience or focused attention on something or it could also mean a bad habit so what do you observe you observing this by actually just observing them what you're attempting to do is number one to find out you're observing the way your counseling attends okay you're really looking for the way they seem comfortable they're uncomfortable how they appear in your session and even as they are stating certain things how are they appearing okay so whenever you're doing whenever you have a non-verbal when you're trying to observe a non-verbal behavior you're noticing to see if there is a conflict between their behavior and between their words to see if there's a discrepancy or if there's an incongruence in the way that they appear and the way that they're saying something so like for example the client the counseling is saying the marriage is the best thing that happened to them but says that her husband is unsupported right so there are two things that seem conflicting to one another this is more verbal but it's still conflicting okay or like we saw in the earlier example they've said that the holiday was really nice but then has a really low keyed expression okay verbal you observe verbal key words of phrases that they are using repeatedly so repeatedly saying I wish things were better without actually giving you any other information really states that there's something that could be going on and that you may need to explore that further okay so by accurately observing non-verbal behavior you can actually gauge the effect of their words and their actions okay for example like you know when a counseling comes to the counselor the counselor can gain some indication of how the counseling is feeling about this session okay whether they're comfortable whether they're awkward just by the way they walk in they take their seat and greet you you can actually make out the difference so a counselor can effectively gauge this you know and you can carefully gauge this effectiveness of what your words of how your words are coming across just through their facial expressions and through an eye contact so observation is really key in understanding and working through this okay now something important that we need to know is this attending skill comes only by two ways it cannot be done in a class it can be done by two ways by observing and by practicing observing practicing observing practicing it you cannot learn attending by reading a book or by listening to more podcasts right so that is just it has to come by actually practicing okay I'll just show you the other video so that you know you can actually see how that's done okay so if you remember we saw how the attending behavior you know how she showed a wrong attending behavior this video shows of how it can it's done well correct a correct formula Joanne hi how are you I'm okay I'm okay I've been better coming in with a new issue today between my husband and I that I just really wanted to talk to you about so basically every time I try and schedule some some time together with him just some quality time he always manages to prioritize something else so he'll get on his cell phone he'll start texting with a friend or start gaming or start watching a movie and it's like I can't get the time in that I need with him to really connect and it's become the source of frustration for me that must be so frustrating Joanne and yeah in fact you said that and I sure myself on this year I want to put it away because I don't want it to interrupt us I'm really sorry that it was there especially when you said about your husband I want to make sure that I don't do the same thing thank you yeah I appreciate that yeah this I mean this is a really important issue for me that it's just I'm realizing more and more how much it is a problem relationship that we can't even make the time to spend together you know just engaging in something together of course okay alright so what did you see differently here but she was really listening and she's also making the constantly feel that she's listening which actually shows that okay she's listening really listening to me okay good alright anything else you noticed about the counsellor what she is leaning forward as a little bit as a you know as a sign of being attentive and also just tries to adapt with her situation by keeping her phone back understanding her situation yeah people are getting in that way yeah so she actually intentionally says you know I want to keep my phone back because I know that you know I don't want to be doing the same thing and I want to keep that focus on you so she's actually addressed it she's bought it so you know she paid attention to that little thing that she heard the counsellor saying you know my husband's on his phone and that you know we can't get that so she insured she did that you know that's how detailed listening happened okay any other one thing was she said like if she's giving a kind of a gesture as if she understood and acknowledged and acknowledged it by saying like of course like she's giving a like an understanding gesture yeah right so you see how important maybe our initial even just an initial behaviour can be that can actually break or make a certain session okay wonderful any questions we have around four minutes any questions before we close I just had this question I don't know whether it is something that is can be covered within three minutes but just curious to know like have you like ever encountered a situation where like you struggled to understand how to proceed like it's like yeah it's kind of oh I don't know what to do next kind of just very often that happens so generally I'll tell you when that happens a lot more it happens during couple sessions not so much during individual sessions but in couple sessions where probably you know they've they are they've gone berserk they're really fighting to one the idea is to bring back calm so immediately you know your mind's going into what should you do to ensure that you one that even as they're sitting in front of you you bring back a sense of calm and are able to bring it to a closure where the heat of this has kind of plateaued right so that that sometimes becomes extremely hard you just don't know how to how to proceed on further so some of the times when it's really hard I actually said okay I'd like you to know that I feel stuck right now and I'm not able to understand how to work through this so I do I do say that because remember as a counsellor you're also a human you're also a person you're also being involved in these conflicts sometimes it can be extremely intense right so letting them know I'm a little I'm also struggling maybe a bit sometimes there are a couple of times that I've done let's take a five minute break all of us maybe let's take a five minute break and then let's come back so then I try and recalibrate okay as to how to bring this together so that everyone has kind of come down and then come back so then I may start with you know we just left off we just had a certain situation where both of you did express how angry you all were about this I want to refocus on maybe one or two things highlights so what I attempt to do is like you know something that I'm I am actually learning from a counsellor not a Christian is a secular counsellor he says you know what is a forest fire happen is when you're triggering the first spark or the first flame so the minute that you go back and talk about again the same problem it's going to erupt the same thing again so he said whenever possible or whenever you want to douse a fire you bring about something that will actually not create that spark and one of the best ways to do that is to probably refocus on something that's maybe positive so something that I'm learning to do is I say okay I know that this conflict just took place but let me ask you this despite the this conflict you've been having for this last one hour what is one thing that you you know maybe appreciate doing together or one thing in the last one week that you found that you saw was a happy moment so I try to bring them to a place of just rewiring their thoughts of negativity and looking at something that would have seemed positive so in that way my aim is to ensure that when they're walking out of the room they're not going back with this bitterness but they're at least able to feel a little bit of hope that okay there's one thing in the last week that seemed okay so yes many times I go through that but I'm learning how to navigate it better each time I think I get better every time but still not perfect but I'm learning through those skills thank you thank you yeah yeah yeah good all right if y'all don't have any questions maybe we can close with a word of prayer Pastor John Paul would you like to close with prayer today sure let's pray let's pray gracious father we want to thank you for this time thank you for helping us to learn a lot of things regarding how we talk to people how we understand their burdens and also to give them godly advices and we pray our God as we continue to learn we'd be able to remember and practice all this as we interact with people we pray our God that we would move according to your Holy Spirit and we pray Lord Jesus that through each of our lies you would be glorified of God and we pray that people would be impacted for your kingdom and our lives be transformed to God into your image Lord Jesus we thank you for this time in Jesus name we pray amen amen thank you so much thank you Pastor John thank you everybody God bless I'll meet you next week thank you thank you