 and we had another new apartment today it's a brand new condo I'm the first person to stay in this one it's always nice when it's brand new so we're just up here me and Nala on the 33rd floor I've got some views here too hello everyone I don't normally let Nala out on the balcony but I think this one's quite safe for her I think she knows it's high up okay so on to the topic of the video when the narcissist realizes you have won what's more important to a narcissist than you winning is them losing that's why they're so bothered about you winning in the first place because they have a black and white mentality where if you're winning it means they're losing because they were always in competition with you they saw you as their opposition their rival their opponent so in their minds if you're winning in this competition this game that means that they have lost to you and that's why it bothers them so much because they've created this game in their heads this competition where it's you versus them and they have to win so when they do realize that you have won and that doesn't have to mean that you've defeated them exposed them you don't have to do anything to them at all if you just find fulfillment in your life you find happiness you're at peace with yourself you become successful you go to the gym and become fitter and stronger you make more money you start a new business none of these things should really affect someone else in a negative way if anything if they had a problem with you you'd think that they would be happy but no it just makes the narcissist worse because in their minds you have won and they have lost and they don't like that so when they realize that you have won they're not going to be there to support you despite how they said that there are all of these problems with you maybe they said that you were lazy or maybe you didn't make enough money they didn't like your job all of these things but then when you become more active when you get a new job or you start a new business and you make more money now suddenly that's a problem as well because in their minds you tricked people you faked your way into that and they think it's unfair they think you did it at their expense somehow they're jealous they feel like you took something from them and now they decided to take it from you and they may openly try to intimidate you they may even become violent and aggressive they may try to take you down or they will play the victim they will act like you did something to them they will blame you they will make false accusations and they will say all of these horrible things about you to other people they will start a smear campaign and all of this it should send a message to you really it should tell you that they're just not comfortable with your happiness and success that's what the problem is and then they were hitting on you all along telling you you're not good enough telling you you'll never be anything great but then when you do actually become that and you correct all of these things that they said were wrong now suddenly that becomes a problem as well you can't win with a narcissist and I know that's the title of this video but there really is no winning with them that's the funny thing it's that when they realize you have won the idea of you winning in a narcissist head is just you not being with them and you being okay because they know as long as you're with them you're not winning that's why they put you down they see it in their minds like if you were anything great you wouldn't be around them because underneath all of the arrogance and entitlement deep down they know what they are they know they're not special they know they're not all that so if you're around them in their minds you must be the same but at some level they have a point in thinking that because when you're around them it's because you haven't realized your worth if you knew how great you are you wouldn't want to be around them you wouldn't be sitting there trying to prove to them how worthy you are how special you are you wouldn't even try to do that you would just be out of there but many of us we stick around and we try to prove to them no you got it wrong I'm better than you think I'm more than what you think I am look I can do this I can do that many of us stick around and try to do that you're not going to convince them of nothing while you are with them because they see it as though if you even want to be around them there must be something wrong with you and they're actually right in thinking that they're actually right in thinking that because if you are around them it's because you lack self-love your self-esteem your self-worth is not as strong as it should be and when the narcissist is targeting that and making you feel like you're not good enough that should show you what you need to work on so yeah it's really when you walk away and things get better for you that's when they start to realize you've won and then that's when they will come back to intimidate you or they may even try to love bomb you again they may try to get back in only if they think they have a chance but if they know that you've moved on and there's no place for them in your life anymore then they will just try to intimidate you or they will play the victim they will really just burn the bridge because at that point they've got nothing to lose they know you're not going to see them the same way anyway so they might as well try to take you down and get what they can from you so yeah if you have won if things have got better for you especially after leaving them you need to be cautious you need to protect yourself because there's no telling what they might do they will definitely want to punish you they will want to hurt you and they will want to sabotage everything that makes you look like you have won because they just don't like the idea of you winning if you have won that means they have lost a narcissist are very sore losers they don't like to lose they don't gain anything from losing because they never take accountability they never learn from their faults or mistakes so they do everything they can to not lose they cheat they lie they deceive they steal and that's why you've got to be very careful because when they're trying not to lose they will come back and deceive you more they will steal from you whatever it takes to level the playing field that's just how it is when people lack ability then they have to go around it they have to find ways to cheat they engage in underhanded tactics like stealing because they know they can't win by doing things the right way and when they do that don't play their game don't sink down to their level let them play in the mud I had a haircut a few days ago no more long hair shaved it all off feels a lot better with a short hair people have said it looks better too they've said I look younger I don't think I'm that old anyway but yeah I think I prefer short hair as well let me know in the comments what you prefer do you like me more with a short hair or long hair I'd like to hear from you on that and also let me know about your situation did the narcissist realize that you have won and what was their idea of you winning and how did they react to it I'd like to know and read your comments every morning so please let me know about that too in the comment section and I am available for one-on-one coaching which you can book from my website it's narcsurvivor.co.uk and as always please click that thumbs up button below it helps the YouTube algorithm and gets this message out there thank you all for joining me on another narc survivor live video I look forward to speaking with you in another one very soon