 Peace be upon you and welcome to Making a House at Home with myself, Raghat Baqar and our expert life coach and NLP practitioner, Fahima Muhammad, who today will be talking about getting married at an early age. Peace be upon you, Fahima. Would you be able to tell us a bit more about this topic and your thoughts on early marriage? Peace be upon you. Yes, of course. Over the decades we have to sort of understand that the situation we're in now, that society has been postponing the age of marriage more and more. And basically, as time has evolved, people are getting married and even thinking about marriage probably in their late 20s, early 30s. And I'm not just talking about society as a whole, but especially in the Muslim world, they seem to be concentrating more on careers and thinking that finance and other sort of like, you know, things that will hold them back and marriage is one of the things that they think that will hold them back. The thing is in Islam, it's always been advised to get married at a young age and that's for very many reasons. There's a lot of virtue in marriage. There's a lot of blessing. It's also protecting your chastity. It's just so many benefits that people don't understand and the perspectives have changed a lot. And I know that there's also a very high rate of divorce at this very moment in time and people may come down to say, well, we don't really know how to find the right spouse or if we get married too young, then, you know, there are issues over the years. But it all depends on how you take upon life. We have to understand that a marriage between husband and wife is a shared struggle. Okay. But so do you think that getting married before the career, before finishing the degree, is that the better thing to do? It's not about putting a label on the exact timing and stage. It's just that when you come of age and, you know, whether you're in university or working or have any sort of aspirations, if there's an opportunity for marriage and usually at that age, you are thinking in that way. You are wanting it. Male or female, there is a need. There is definitely, you know, that sort of like desire. So it's not like to sort of ignore it. Sometimes it's actually better to, you know, overcome that and by actually, you know, committing. By actually, you know, being with somebody and, you know, building together and, you know, sort of creating a future together. Because actually that support can actually make you go further than you realize. But a lot of people say that marriage will get in the way of the degree, get in the way of succeeding at work. So they want to do all that and then when they're ready to settle down, they'll get married. That is definitely the outlook that everyone has today. But now that it's been practiced in that way, you find a lot of people sitting around waiting for marriage after the degrees, after their careers that, you know, they've got whatever sort of like, you know, accomplishments that they've sort of had in mind that now the only thing that's in their mind, even after everything that they've, you know, achieved is wanting to get married. And there's a lot of delay and with that delay, that's all they can think about. So actually it doesn't really fulfill their real desire and need. The actual desire should be marriage first. It should come at whatever stage in life that you are at because people don't realize what it actually means and in Islam it explains it very well that it actually does bring, you know, you to a stage in life that you can go and perform a lot further in your career, in your university or whichever sort of stage you're at. It's just that they're not looking at it like that because the thing is they put on the pressure of having a certain amount of money or having a house or a car and all these demands before marriage when you can actually create that and build it at an early stage. Well, in an ideal world, that would work. But nowadays when someone goes to propose, the first thing they ask is what's his degree, where are they going to live and does he have a car? Well, that's the issue. Or they expect him to have a car anyway. Yeah. So sometimes even if a young man wants to get married early, he'll find a lot of things that are in his way and not allowing him to do so. Of course. And that's why the attitudes need to change back to what it's supposed to be because marriage isn't about getting all of that to begin with. Because even if you have that realistically, it could be taken away the following day anyways. Nothing's guaranteed and nothing is forever. Even your job, even your career, people have even built themselves up over years and they've lost it in between and that can tear them apart because they think that everything has to work out and we've got to understand in life, it doesn't work that way. So when you start from an age of knowing your priorities, knowing that this is what's going to help you keep yourself away from bad things, from sins, or something like that, if that's your way of thinking, then actually it will bring you more forward and actually be consistent and stay that way. It actually brings about a different mindset when you with someone because you're putting someone else first and I know people think that you're too young. You shouldn't have that response. But it's just like how people say, I don't want to go to Hajj yet I'm not ready. You make yourself ready because you don't know what tomorrow brings. You don't understand that in this life it's so temporary and at the end of the day we should be striving and driving for those sort of goodness that surround us. It's the whole attitude and perspective that's totally wrong, I feel. And when you said about the part that you're not ready, I think we need to speak more to the parents in terms of him not being ready or her not being able to carry the responsibility. I think parents should help out more with newlyweds in terms of allowing them to live with them or just helping, offering extra support. And a lot of parents aren't willing to do that nowadays. I think also we take for granted living here that we want everything laid out for us. If you look back somewhere even like Iraq, I know the Sujad Foundation for example, the charity, they help people get married and they have nothing. They literally have nothing but they're actually building a future and they're building their homes because at the end of the day they're doing what is meant to be. So I think we need to sort of come out of ourselves in our little boxes that is very much, we have everything we feel that we're entitled to a lot of things. And it's not just the young people, even the older generation like you mentioned, the parents, they feel that they have to have a certain criteria, a certain status or anything like that in order to fulfill marriage and in the end it doesn't work. And then when you're sitting there at the age of over 30 then you just got to take what you're going to get and it doesn't work even then. And it's not just the females family, it's even the young man's family. When he approaches his parents and tells them I want to get married, the first thing they'll ask him with what? With what? How are you expecting to get married? You still don't have this, you still don't have that. And I think that's extremely wrong, an extremely wrong approach to tell your young sons. Definitely, I think on both sides nowadays it's very difficult and the way in which we look around in society and all the pressures of what it entails to be married and all the demands and all the challenges that are faced, yes it's very real but only because we're making it that way because we're looking at it in that way. When you build a life from a young age, for example if you get married at 23 or 25 and you would someone where you're studying and working, creating and building you don't realize the foundations that you're laying for actually the future because when you have even problems, because marriage is going to obviously have problems, you've got more of an investment to actually hold on to that marriage. A lot of the times I know now even though with years of marriage people are letting go and everyone thinks that people are disposable easily and the grass is green and all of those sort of things but it never works out the same and Allah puts two people together it's a blessing, it's a gift so if you feel you're not ready you make yourself ready and you just don't even realize that things that come along when you actually commit because you have the intention of doing right you have the intention of putting someone else first you have the intention of committing and being responsible that actually so many things that would be hard for you when you think you're single will actually become a lot easier for you so that's what people don't really see and people don't really get and that's the beauty of being married young to share that and I know that people will say oh after 10 years or after how many years all of those things at the end of the day it's really difficult we've struggled and I would have done it much easier if I waited but you really don't know what it takes to be with someone and to have that support a lot of it is not actually seen a lot of the miracles are not actually something that you realize the opportunities don't even come to you sometimes when you're single than when you are in a blessed home and as a life coach do you feel that struggle in building your life together does that bring you closer as a couple? Absolutely because you've got so much more to share like I said in life if you want to master anything you have that investment even in business and if things go wrong you push through that that's when you master whatever it is but if you've got nothing much to hold on to you don't have the years or you don't have that time that you've shared and spent together and the bad and you know have those young moments together to share and look back on with all those memories then obviously you know it's easier to walk away That's true and with the struggle I think you feel that once you pass that struggle you feel that you've accomplished something as a team don't you? Yes and the thing is in marriage it's going to be up and down everyone's going to change over time and when you're young you're going to go through different stages and there's going to be different developments you cannot be at the same level at the same part with each other all the time but that's what you know relationships it's all about and you know in order to be aware of that and to take it like you know upon yourself to actually work through that that is an accomplishment that is an achievement you know to put someone else first to not think of yourself and even in Islam it actually protects you from doing anything wrong because you're with somebody in so many ways there's protection you know for you to either sin or for you to do anything in a harmful way for yourself or anyone else because you've got someone else to consider so I think that basically with the religion and even psychologists now have said that a lot of people you know that value marriage and value a home and don't get divorced and don't choose to get divorced and choose to work on their marriages those are the ones that are educated and this is not Islamic this is the psychologists today that are actually you know interviewing people you know who are from a set class a set background who have good role models and even if they don't have good role models they can actually still learn for themselves the value within a unit within building together well I'm not really surprised that psychology has agreed with Islam because that's always the case anyway it's taking the millions of thousands of years to come to that level exactly so that's not surprising at all a lot of the times also we find that in marriage we're always looking for the right person but I think it's really important to actually build yourself to be the right person first because we're always looking for the other person your partner your potential spouse male or female to be a particular way but if you look at yourself we kind of accomplish half the things most of the time so you know we have to also understand that we have to build ourselves in a very strong virtuous way and character and that's what will get you the law of attraction you know you get what you are and you will receive everything good when you're good so all these things do matter when you're looking for marriage at any stage at any age this is a big commitment it's a big responsibility but at the same time with that comes so much which is going to take you a lot further than you realize and I think if people change their perspectives and don't look at the odd cases you know because we do generalize even even with the statistics I understand that it's a high rate and there's a lot of problems in marriage but it's only because we're not looking at it and we're not dealing with the situation we're looking outside our homes for comfort or for help when we should be working within our homes you can seek the help outside but you've got to work within your family and address whatever issues and challenges that you face and even being alone it's actually a lot more challenging I think than having that emotional and mental support and having someone physically there and in so many ways well that's true but a lot of people will have the opposite argument they'll say that when you're young your judgments are not not as clear as they would be when you're older or you're not going to make the right choices or you're not going to choose the person that you're going to be able to get along with until you're older what's your thoughts on that well there's a lot of people around that you know like religion they choose to live in that way and they have even more problems they choose to not be married they choose to be with several partners and in fact they end up even more confused because then they think no one's ever right so it doesn't really those arguments don't really come to a very strong way of saying that no the benefit of getting married young is definitely not right because I think that when you have the right upbringing when you have the right understanding if you have the right meaning and purpose of your life here and know where you stand and your outlook and what's your purpose and what's the outcome and what's the goals and yes you're young and it's all going to change but it doesn't mean that you cannot be responsible and make yourself responsible it doesn't mean that you cannot change with that person and enjoy it doesn't mean that you cannot at that age you want those sort of things anyways you are looking for a partner you're ready to be with somebody in so many ways so why not do it in the right way so that that is actually one side and then you can actually enjoy the rest of it and actually really concentrate on your finances really concentrate on building that career and really concentrate on your university because actually a lot of people go there looking for a partner here a lot of people say that and we outgrew each other so they've grown apart as they say even I'm not talking about just the English people or the non-Muslims I'm talking about even Muslims themselves generally humans do they say that we met younger we had different mindsets and now we've just grown each other we just don't love each other anymore you do get a lot of that don't you yes you do and that is common but like I said because they're not working within the marriage still in order to master anything you're going to come through those crossroads so you can either decide to just up and leave and start again which I'm telling you now that second time round isn't as good it never does work and even psychology and statistics show that there's less and less chance of your happiness second and third time round especially if you come from a decent home a decent background just because you just feel out of love and out of connection you can rebuild that people are going to come back and forth into those dimensions that doesn't mean that you don't work at it there's therapy, there's communication classes there's so many things that you need to sort of reignite in order to get that back again I mean in life you're going to struggle at any stage and if one's lacking in this marriage don't think that in the second marriage or the third marriage there's something else that's not going to lack and especially when there's family of children involved and everything else there's so much more responsibility so yes of course there's much more to lose and people are still willing to lose that and they do it but the thing is it's selfishness, self-centeredness and at the end of the day they don't actually understand the value and then they're struggling and they're still struggling and they're thinking that finance is going to make it or some other person is going to fulfill but when you're strong within yourself whoever you're with you carry with you, good and bad and with that you will go so much further people just don't realize you need to master whatever you're at in order to master something you break through those challenges you overcome those hurdles you jump through those walls you sort of walk through fire if you have to because marriage is a struggle and Islam is interpreted as it being a shared struggle so there's no saying that it's going to be rosy it's just that we look at Hollywood or the way things are in the Disney world or even the couple next door the next door labels you think they're happier than us because you don't really know what's going on inside absolutely and I have that inside a lot of couples come to me I do couples coaching, relationships coaching and even individuals they'll have the perfect labels, professions but every household has a struggle and I see that every day and I know that sometimes the situations don't change but the fact that they're willing to work on each other don't give up on each other so they can come out of that relationship and build it even stronger than they would for anyone new so yes you can get a younger fresher model all the time both sides but the priceless ones are the ones that you keep from the beginning of course, as they say, old is gold and what's your thoughts on your parents choosing your spouse it's not about arranged marriage, it's really misinterpreted basically no one's forced if your parents, they're never going to choose it's never like you're marrying this one, everyone has a right to say they might bring people and show them and maybe go out looking and putting the word out that's how I look at arranged marriage not in the cultures that are now being practiced even up till today where it's forced and where if your parents get involved or outsiders get involved and that's their say and that's it you, whoever's getting married or a female, have a right to choose and to say yes or no regardless of whatever those options are there has to be chemistry there has to be whatever you feel that you feel attractiveness yes, we're not saying just marry anyone just for the sake of it everyone has that way of being attracted to somebody yes, even if you require a certain profession because you feel there's an understanding there no one's saying no to all of those things but at the same time you have to be careful how you choose and it's not about those things first you have to know that you can grow with that person so when you speak to them when you get to know them parents can invite other family members and take you into occasions or special weddings or ceremonies wherever it could be and introduce you so parents getting involved is actually a good thing because they will look further and they also regard their opinion because they have the experience it all depends on where that parent's coming from their experience, how open they are because sometimes it can be a deterrent it can hinder you because they can say no, absolutely not you're not travelling far you're not living abroad, you're not doing this, you're not doing that but then again, circumstances change and then in the end they're sitting there in their early 30s, mid 30s and they're looking to get married they've got the degree, they've got the profession that's all they really want, that's all they really desire and that's what only everyone's asking now is are you married how come you're not married not to say that it doesn't happen everyone has their time and there's nothing wrong in getting married people have even tried all of these things and it still hasn't worked out for them but honestly speaking a lot of the time that people are still waiting around is because they have been a lot more choosy, they have been a lot more picky they have been actually taking away the good people that have come to them for absolutely not valid reasons and in the end you pay the price there's a consequence for every choice that you make we all have choices and we all can make whatever choice we want but there's consequences for it and people don't realize that okay, so basically from your experience as a life coach you are pro-yelg marriage absolutely and it's not just about life coaching it's Islamically and why would you disagree with that so I think to follow the Islamic way to be understanding why we hear our purposes and our reasons definitely the benefits of marriage outweighs anything thank you so much Vahima that was very very interesting and thank you to our viewers we're going to take a short break and inshallah as usual after the break we'll be taking some of your questions back soon Salam Alaikum and welcome back to the second half of our show of making your house a home and today we're discussing getting married at a young age I have some questions for you Vahima the first question is from Rehana and she says I am a 25 year old and understand the importance of marriage however I find that trusting someone to be committed and loyal is very difficult especially nowadays when there are so many breakups and problems in marriages yes there are problems in marriages, relationships it's been there from the beginning of time until now but there's a lot more help out there there's a lot more therapy that can be done and even life coaching now I'm qualified not just in general life coaching but relationship and couples coaching because now people don't want to see relationship therapists they want to see coaches because it's actually moving forward they're really sitting there with outlying their issues and their challenges and they're actually being able to communicate better and a lot of the times yes we can generalize about how we can't trust people how we can't think that they're going to be committed but in life we really have to take a different outlook about how we make decisions and we cannot foresee the future you know, be pessimistic about it even with the statistics because you can overcome that just by thinking and being a certain way being positive outlying just like you know saying that I'm going to be a particular way and I'm going to attract a particular person and if I don't feel it and if I don't see it then you know, I will know and trust in Allah because even in Surah Al-Rum in verse 21 Allah talks so much about the spouse giving you that comfort and solace and you know so much that the spouse is from you that comes to you and things like that so our religion is not there to sort of like just put things on sort of like you know because it's just written it really does exist so you need to start believing in it and start trusting people and you have to not take negative doubt for weight because that's what we do this is what we are prone to as society and we need to change our mindsets we need to give benefit of the doubt we need to take people's word for what they are and if they don't get it right and if they don't do you know anything in that way that's their journey and they're going to you know we are all accountable for ourselves the thing is people always say we have to take responsibility that holds us accountable by ourselves when we're going to be judged we're not going to take our partners we're not going to take our children our parents or anyone we're going to be judged 100% on our own so you just make sure that you are the right person you know ready for marriage and inshallah the right person will come to you don't have this negative thought don't have that doubt because you're just going to attract that because you're just going to be showing it direct and saying no this is going to happen for me believe in it and it will happen for you inshallah okay I have a question from Hasan and he asks I am currently looking to get married and I finished my degree a few years ago and have a decent job however mainly however mainly however many who I have approached demand so much and it seems impossible to actually find someone who isn't looking at your bank details and judging on that yeah we sort of touched on that a little bit and obviously there is a lot of pressure to be a certain criteria in order to get married but again we really need to change the way in which we look at life because our goals is to get the money to get the degree and life is so much more than that and that's why even marriages break up because they're built on those sort of things you need to build characters you need to find good virtues within a person you need to look for someone who even in a struggle they're willing to pick themselves up if they lost their job they're going to be there to support you they're going to be there emotionally to actually say you know what we're going to still make this work that's the kind of partner you need to look for that's the kind of partner you need to be and I think that parents as well need to take responsibility for giving their children these ways of thinking in the society saying that in order to build a good future is to secure yourself financially because that is not it that's why even with the finances even with the degrees marriages are not lasting because the whole outlook of it is totally wrong to begin with he's struggling with though obviously he agrees with what you're saying he just wants to find someone who isn't looking at those things you know it's he just needs to keep striving he needs to keep thinking that to be the person that he needs to be and just build himself the way he feels that he can only go so far and the right person will come the thing is when you are a certain character it's not about selling yourself you can make yourself more attractive more than just people looking at your bank statements because you need to know how to talk you need to know how to be and that will actually attract the right person if he's approaching people and if he's talking in a certain way and being a certain way that will obviously attract the opposite to say that you know this is the man that I would love to be with so you need to also know how to address these things know that people are going to ask you for your bank statement and be outlining how you live your life and how you plan to live your life and you're going to be ready for those answers and answer it cleverly and smartly so that these people understand that this is not the importance and you are much more than that so get yourself in a mindset of knowing how to deal when you come to these sort of situations so that you can actually educate even the parents or the person that you're approaching that actually that's not the importance to know this marriage should be about this is not everything I have much more to offer and this is it Do you think you might be looking in the wrong places or at the wrong type of people? There's no such thing as wrong places and right places I think it's all good experience he needs to know how to answer them and he needs to be smart about it and he needs to know that people are going to judge you in that way you can't get away from that and you need to know that getting married being married is not about just the finance it's about being responsible, committed loyal understanding that you're going to be there for the other person you're taking on, for example another person's daughter that responsibility you've got to prove to them in so many ways and you can do that more than just finance so be a bit creative show initiative win them over in many other ways than just finance I just want to pick up on what you said about the finance a lot of people think that in order for stability in the marriage there has to be financial stability whereas that's probably the least stable thing in life at the moment exactly you just don't know what's going to happen tomorrow I think people should look for mental stability absolutely moral stability exactly how they're going to cope how they're going to cope if things actually went wrong even if they lost their jobs tomorrow things can happen even people in the top jobs everything nowadays it's so like we have no stability we have no idea that things are going to be permanent in any way even if you have a contract companies go bust all the time things go wrong, the economy turns around we're faced having to move we have to do this but at the same time you need to build yourself in a character that you're going to be able to deal with and have a spouse that understands that so I think even if there are people out there that can teach about these things before marriage and have like sort of marriage classes so that they know what they're going to put themselves out for I think this is what's needed and there's not any of that it's not about oh I like someone they're attractive we have a degree we have the same profession we're involved when you're living together so we need to have people out there that are listening that they can give and provide these sort of things I know in Indonesia and Malaysia you cannot get married without having these marriage courses so we need to have more of that I think society needs to change a bit so that they're more aware and not being so shallow Thanks I have a question from Sarah and she asks I think many people have lost the meaning of marriage and I have little faith in finding the right partner and I'm really worried to commit to someone and plan a life around them and have it end in divorce okay look in life and that's one thing you have to worry about is not the other person ever even if you're in a marriage you have to be the best you need to be for you focus on your goals and your outcomes you have your end plan you don't know which direction is going to take you so again don't have this pessimistic outlook divorce is an option but marriage is not a trap at the end of the day and yes there's a lot of divorces but there's also a lot of great marriages that are out there I know a lot of great couples they're living happily even with the struggles even with health issues even with finance issues even with whatever children they made it work and it can work so don't use that as a cop out for you to stay single or for you to think that oh I can never have it done you focus on yourself be the best that you can be and it will come to you but always have that in the mind that you know it is real and it does exist although we'll not mention it if it wasn't real and if it wasn't good for you nothing in our religion it's just because people are in that way doesn't mean that you know it's bad religion is being used in a bad way because of people misinterpreting and misunderstanding so don't get confused our religion is for marriage it's for early marriage and there are so much benefits so concentrate on that focus on that and believe me it will come to you guaranteed and I have a question from someone who has had an early marriage and it's from Manar and she asks I have been married for about 10 years now and feel like my husband has lost interest and I find that because we got married so young we now have to come to a stage that we cannot bring back the spark that existed in the beginning yeah of course whether you get married 10 years or 5 years or even later on in life you know like I said relationships are going to be volatile it's going to be up and down especially when there's kids involved we're all going through different stages and phases in our lives and yes you don't get the same spark but you can get a different spark and you can reignite it that's absolutely guaranteed and I work with couples that are doing that and if the other person is not interested you still keep trying and you still keep doing what you need to do for yourself and you can look back saying that you have no regrets because you have tried and there's many ways and you know I know that people say that relationships are like that but even if you look at relationships that are with people that are not from our faith and religion who are living together for ages they go through ups and downs and they still manage and you know or they go through things that you know this is life it is literally a roller coaster and we cannot expect it to be the same always but you can still work within it and just don't give up can you emphasize on how to reignite there are so many ways a lot of it is communication in relationships you know we get annoyed with each other we resent each other over time because we have this perception but without actually talking to each other and communication is not just verbal a lot of it's non-verbal attitude is the lack of manners and respect over time it's the fact that you are so used to each other that you just sort of be lazy as well and you don't make the effort anymore so it's both parties so it's about addressing yourself what is it that I did before I may not be able to do the same thing again but what can I do different that would bring it back or what are the ways of moving forward because even those sparks that are at the beginning they're not the same spark that you even want now as you grow older as you change with age and with different experiences in your environment in your situation you got to talk to each other, you got to experiment you got to go outside the box and really be creative about how is it that you want to make this work again and see what each other likes because we all have this love language which we think that for example if I'm just going to buy her gifts then what's she complaining about but all she wants is your time and that's the way she wants to be loved so that miscommunication that misunderstanding alone needs to be out there so express it express what is that that's missing sit down and talk and it does take time and over the years you've created that habit which is mundane which is a little bit tedious and then the kids come along and it kind of drains you to make the effort you need to change your habit you need to change your outlook you need to look outside yourself see how are you behaving as well that's when you take responsibility and say why is he reacting in that way what is it that I'm doing or not doing so those are the little things that I will question the clients that come to me and then together you work it out with various techniques with various strategies and tools that will be put into place but if there's a need to work it out that first and foremost is your winning ticket because you actually want it so you've got to always want it so as a life coach you don't believe in losing the spark there's always another spark to be united there's always a way definitely there's always a way in fact sometimes it could be a lot stronger but if you go through all these trials and challenges you come out stronger and you look back and you think I've been through that with you and you're still there with me and we never gave up and you look back and you know what you're not just doing it for each other remember you're doing it for generations to come your children are watching you your community, your society you're setting an example for what it should be to be together as a team why for your husband in a particular way you're just setting an example so you really need to be really responsible and about your choices because it's not just about you as much as you want it to be it's not about you as much as you think oh you know I need to be concentrating on myself first and then I can concentrate on the children it doesn't work like that in life even in self development books which are not Islamic they say in order to master anything in your life you do for others first so what better way to do for your family first you know to give up and sacrifice for them it's an effort it takes time it takes all your energy to be in a marriage but you know what it's worth it and you get so much out of it and you will be accountable you will be judged for how you're treating your wife how you're treating your husband what examples you're setting you know what's the impact that you are you know that you're setting out for them and your behavior there's an impact on your children on their future all of that you can answer for don't say oh you know it was her responsibility you know it was his way that's why I had to do this because he's going to question you alone that's why you know you set yourself back to the basics and the foundations of when you're going to be you know judged you judged alone on your choices alone no one influences you really realistically we are responsible for ourselves so take that on board and make the right choices and be strong and firm in your belief know that you know we are here for a purpose know your purpose know your meaning and literally live it and you will live it wonderfully even through those challenging moments and master it and you will have an amazing marriage no matter what stage and age you're at thank you Fahima that was just an amazing reminder to everyone whether they've been married for a long time whether they're thinking about marriage or whether they're thinking you know what I'm not going to get married just now it was just so insightful on how important it is to get married as soon as possible already thank you so much and inshallah all of you have enjoyed the show today and inshallah we've been able to answer your questions and we'll be back next week inshallah with another topic with Fahima thank you very much if you've been affected by the following topics raised in this episode please contact your local GP or Fahima Muhammad on coachfm1 at hotmail.com