 dedicated to the strength of the nation proudly we hail yes proudly we hail starring Wayne Morris in Once Upon an Elephant the United States Army and United States Air Force presentation now here is our producer the well-known Hollywood showman CP McGregor thank you thank you and greetings from Hollywood ladies and gentlemen welcome to your theater of stars for your own favorite motion picture personalities join us in plays we know that you'll enjoy our star is the popular actor Wayne Morris and the title of our play a comedy romance once upon an elephant we'll have the curtain for act one in a moment but first this important message from our announcer looking for a career as an executive in aviation United States Air Force is selecting a limited number of young college men and women to prepare them for important non-flying jobs as officers in administrative and technical fields fields such as management communications research and air transport you'll get six months of training at Air Force officer candidate school learn how you can qualify get details at your U.S. Army and U.S. Air Force recruiting station now once again our producer the curtain rises on act one of Once Upon an Elephant starring Wayne Morris as Corey Wainwright every now and then the unusual happens to all of us but a little more than the unusual happened to our hero Corey Wainwright well Corey is a bus driver and a good one too I mean he's very conscientious about his job that of keeping a schedule on time so that his customers won't be late for work Corey's trip begins at 5 30 in the morning and he doesn't pick up anyone until a third stop but this morning he didn't pick up any passengers because right in the middle of the street after he passed the second stop was an obstruction an elephant no less an elephant and a rider he wanted to pass so he gave the horn a couple of hunks what's going on here Vassford that's a silly name for an animal once knew there's a striking resemblance above the eyebrows and across the backfield well that's very interesting but it's 5 33 in the morning watch thank you I was telling the elephant he has no conception of time well I have and I happen to be two minutes late already so if you'll just remove your your your pet from the premises I'll get underway I wish I could why you mean to say stuck there I mean he won't budge but well aren't there some special words you can say I've said them all and some others besides oh Bassford please stop being such a problem mammal and maybe if you spoke to I'll know you don't I got my own troubles let's a very unshivalrous attitude to take why didn't I think of this four minutes ago then you will help me all I got to do is back up and drive down the next street I bid you good morning but you can't leave me alone with this this pack of term delinquent whether they may not be anyone else along for hours you won't be alone long and about it and exactly five minutes of patrol car cruises by here you can tell me you telephone my lawyer for me I had his card somewhere in my purse well I guess I can do that much for you looks like you're gonna need him you didn't buy any chance of having a steel bastard certainly not of course I didn't steal him as if I could how dare you even suggest such a thing where's the card here it is I'm bending down as far as I can without falling off it can you come a little closer is it safe that's right just a little near Bassford pick him up hey hey get that elephant away from me hey as fuckers around me put me down well hello hello oh isn't this better much cozier now we won't have to shout at one another are you all right oh I'm fine just fine well I'll have to ask you to stop squirming you're making Bassford nervous I'm making him nervous I know what you're thinking that it was a low contemptible trick the way I got you up here but when you mentioned the police I then you're dead stealing do I look like an elephant thief I did the first thing that came to my mind I honestly didn't know if he'd pick you up or not now you know now we all know are you angry oh no I was afraid you might be after all I'm only seven minutes behind schedule hundred people will be late for their jobs and I'll probably be without one myself tonight because the supervisors never gonna believe a thing like this that's exactly why you should appreciate my predicament you have your supervisor to convince him I have the huh nice Bassford how about returning me to the ground huh nice animal get me down from here you dumb dodo what an ugly way to speak to Bassford you've probably heard his feelings it may take him years to forget because he has a memory like a human being all right all right you win what do you want to tell you Bassford's in my story and and if it makes sense to you well up to this point it hasn't I'm afraid that's precisely the viewpoint the police will take well to begin with my name is Tony Latimer mine's Corey Wainwright does Bassford have a last name oh no elephants never do well in a way Bassford does in the circus he was built as Bassford the king of trained mammals whose circus my father's the latimer one ring circus an animal show two performances daily except we never seem to have any audiences and then one day they came who the creditors oh this isn't gonna be one of those mortgage on the old tent routines of it not just the tent the costumes the cages the animals in the cages everything even the sawdust now look I may be gullible there you go doubting me already and I've just begun you mean there's more there was an auction it was a ghastly nightmare I could hardly bear to stand by and watch total strangers take away everything piece by piece animal by animal go on Bassford was the last to be bit on some horrible men from a logging camp bought him to use for dragging heavy timber around I protested the sale I tried to convince them that Bassford wasn't suited for that kind of work but he was more than yeah the intellectual type you're as insufferable as they were you think that just because Bassford is big and has thick skin and a low for it he isn't capable of anything except manual labor Lizzie he's talented and sensitive a real artist last night when I went to say goodbye to him our final farewell I could sense how crushed he was his eyes were filled with pain and reproach he seemed to be pleading with me to help him what did he say don't let them take me to that dreadful place don't let them that's what said that well you seem to be saying that and suddenly I knew I had to put up a fight for him suddenly I seem to have a purpose in life a standard to bear a slogan a slogan like do not travel on the under elephant oh you do understand yeah then you'll also understand why I kidnapped him very early this morning I'm trying to get into the zoo where will be among his own kind he'll be happy there instead of being just an ordinary beast of burden he can do tricks for the children and they'll always be proud and never have to hang his trunk in shame he owes you a great deal that's nothing really the very least he can do is come and see you every visiting day what do you mean well I mean the police will call this grand larceny send me to jail for just trying to help well I'm afraid that they'll say he's big enough to take care of himself but he isn't and if they weren't so callous and insensitive they'd understand you'd understand but all you think about is time schedule than getting people from one place to another you're not human you're a robot and all day long you keep repeating can a robot do this your fares ready please or this moving to the back of the bus or this I used to hear only bells when I was kids but you made me a sirens look we got to get bastard out of here we'll find a place to hide him well tell him to start moving no I've decided to face you don't seem to understand that's the police they'll be here in a minute how can you explain this there isn't time to think up anything we're trapped noise is upset that's what he's beginning to sway and walk to and from well well tell him to stop it tell us I'm slipping I can't hold on any longer what's going on here oh officer I'm so glad you've arrived my friends just had a bad spill I wonder if you'll see if he's still breathing he is thank goodness the officer my name's Tony latimer and I officer this woman is a minister society I demand that you arrest her I thought I recognized there's no doubt that she should be arrested on what charge well well there must be some while she's violating booker for driving an elephant without a license she has a special permit from the chief which is just as good whose bus is that mine what's it doing parked in the middle of the street tying up traffic there hasn't been any traffic that's right over there nevertheless I left to give you a ticket what now resisting an officer that deserves a ticket officer it's I I was having great trouble with that's what and Corey Mr. Wainwright was kind enough to offer to help me when you drove up we were just ready to leave well see that you do at once goodbye officer give my regards to the two you heard what the officer said get that animal moving but first I've got to tell you the truth you wouldn't recognize that truth if it was as plain as as a password but you simply don't put me down bastard you think it was easy to make up a story like that oh please hear me out at an early age I fell out of a tree and landed on on your head obviously my acrophobia complex where is that it isn't anywhere it's a fear of high places I was supposed to outgrow it but instead it got worse until finally I was afraid to even step off a curb lady you need to see a psychiatrist I did almost a month ago this is the way he's curing me oh you're better now oh much better almost well again he's really quite wonderful he found out that I love animals and so he prescribed riding tall ones to overcome my fear I began with a horse then last week it was a camel this week it's fast-fruiting next week it's going to be a don't tell me let me guess let's see uh giraffe that's right darling you must have been to the same psychiatrist no but you'd better give me his name I may need him any minute oh darling you're perfectly all right I like you just the way you are and in fact miss Latimer if that is your name it really is apparently you take me for a complete fool certainly you've made me act like one and I'm fed up so kindly do me a favor anything Corey darling get out of my bus and out of my life you're very rude look he's beginning to move oh dear he can't hear me we'll have to chase him in the bus well didn't you hear me we'll have to try mr. Latimer I'm not an elephant catcher but he's getting away then I suggest you start after me on foot now you mean you won't help me you understand me perfectly very well but you may be extremely sorry you didn't cooperate oh bad wait for me wait for me pause briefly for my story once upon an elephant scarring Wayne Morris to bring you an important message from your government ladies and gentlemen our Army and Air Force are critically short of physicians and deathists over 2,000 volunteers from these two professions are urgently needed today to safeguard and care for the health of the men and women who as members of the United States Army and United States Air Force are serving you and me at home and overseas young physicians and dentists particularly those who did not serve in the armed services during World War two have been asked by their government to act now to volunteer for duty at once if you are one of these young physicians or dentists please write or wire either the Surgeon General of the United States Army or the Air Surgeon of the United States Air Force at once and volunteer your services if you know of one of these young physicians or dentists please call his attention to this urgent message thank you the curtain rises on act two of once upon an elephant starring Wayne Morris as Corey Wainwright well Corey was certainly glad to get rid of the elephant and all that that little episode with the circus had been nothing but trouble from a business standpoint that is he was 12 minutes late in behind schedule all the rest of the day a lot of passengers were sore and made ugly remarks about the service and Corey made a few in return when he finally drove into the garage in the late afternoon the supervisor was waiting to see him so Corey told him the truth when he was finished the supervisor gave Corey one of those I wasn't born yesterday looks and said now honestly Wainwright does a story like that make sense to you know then why waste my time telling because it happened just the way I said I've heard some fancy alibis but an elephant acrophobia auctions the circus I never heard and furthermore we've had some complaints from the passengers on your route this morning what kind of an excuse have you got for that and be careful what you say well you know how it is I was trying to make up time and the bus was overcrowded and people wouldn't move to the rear and well one word led to another and well you can't use those kind of words to the customers there's a rule against it okay I'm sorry I'll have to give you 40 demerits and now wait a minute it wasn't my fault and an elephant in a white key thing but the three-day layoff three days what kind of and five more demerits for insubordination I don't like your attitude look I tell you the truth and you throw the book at me what kind of an attitude should I have maybe I should say thanks well maybe I have been a bit rough I'll tell you what if you can substantiate your story I'll cancel the three-day layoff what do you mean substantiate my story bring the girl in and if her version checks with you oh no you don't so there wasn't any girl after all or an elephant look I'm in this jam from accidentally running into work you don't think I'd be crazy enough to make an appointment to meet her do you that's up to you even if I knew how to get in touch with her it should be where three days page you may not live here 45 demerits and duck three days or the girl look at how about the cop who saw you know wouldn't he be okay oh no no the police already think we have a lot of crazy drivers without troubling them with something like this it's got to be I know the girl oh don't any daddy only you could get yourself in such a situation but Mary and unless I do research work how can I write my book 20 unique ways to win a new knee cuz hardly the word well I can't think of a better one 20 impossible ways to win a husband sounds more appropriate darling be serious I'm really quite concerned about this well then why didn't you take it into your confidence nothing is so simple as the truth that would have spoiled everything and everything is fine this way aren't we getting off the subject I don't know what is the subject that a girl must use imagination to capture a man that's the entire theme of my book that's why I'm doing all these experiments that Tony darling you're confusing imagination with I take for instance a 12th way where you advise girls to rent a helicopter and hover over their boyfriend's houses singing the the you've got me up in the air over you blues do you remember what happened to you when you tried that one out yes fortunately I was wearing a parachute fortunately and this newest experiment may have some repercussions to oh no everything was taken care of nothing can happen the police gave me a permit I was thinking about the bus driver I've been thinking about him too but darling a bus driver why they're like like barbers of bartenders and you may have need for their services but you don't become romantically interested in them what a ridiculous comparison I neither drink nor shave and yesterday was the first time I was ever on a bus and I wasn't really on it he threw me off all this and muscles too lovely one and shoulders oh no way he kisses Tony a salesman never uses the product he sells the war you're beginning to act and sound as if you believe the stuff you're writing my only interest in this kind of research is to prove how important imagination is to romance but you haven't proved it at least not this time and you won't prove it unless he gets in touch with you I know which I doubt very much that he will we must so that I can prove the 14th ways practically well I'll get it oh wait a minute what's wrong suppose it's Corey well fine isn't that what you want look if it is Corey I'll not only buy 20 copies of your book when it's finished but I'll try all 20 ways of course it couldn't be Corey all right see who it is thanks oh hello your car you ain't right aren't you yes do you ride my bus no but I'm gonna sell my car immediately won't you come in you did come to see Tony didn't you yes hello Miss Latimer I came to ask you goodbye I'll see you later Tony where you're going and take some singing lessons too she's joking of course oh I thought maybe you were exchanging a message in code won't you sit down thanks it was nice of you to look me up it was quite a job finding you but you fell in pillow to keep on searching yes I think that's very sweet particularly after the way we parted I apologize for acting like a bus driver and I apologize for myself and Bassford we were very rude is he all right oh he's fine do you have any trouble with him oh quite a lot but that really isn't important or did you come to discuss I came because I wanted to I need you very much I realize our meeting was strange and unusual one might even say you need and I'm not sure I have the right to call on you I would have been very depressed if you had you know people don't usually meet that way yes it wasn't in the least routine why if we told people how we became acquainted they might not even believe us only very dull unimaginative they might even say that it didn't happen we don't care what they say of course we know it did and that's really all that's important except this now that's unfair you shouldn't have done it isn't what I had in mind at all I know I should be making some notes myself what do you mean just what did you have in mind what did you mean you should be making some note you did come to make love to me didn't you look let's start all over to tell me that I'm the only really different girl you ever met just a minute I'm eating was the biggest thing in your life if you'll only love each other and want to get married can I say just one must be completely honest with you Corey I have to tell you the truth about how we happened to me oh surely we're not going to go through that routine again you see I'm writing a book to prove that marriage is boring because the courtship is dulled that it needs imagination what you have an overabundance all you were an experiment the 14th way the 14th unique way for a girl to win a husband of course when it started out you were just a part of the research I had to do but after you kissed me on desperate it it was different I'm glad you're the only experiment that worked out I'm a I'm afraid miss Latimer that you'll have to do some more research I don't understand I came to see you to ask me ask for a favor but you said you needed me I do the supervisor wouldn't believe it about you and password and he gave me 45 demerits and docked me three days yes then he said if you would verify the story he'd cancel the three-day layoff oh that's very important business to me yes get out do you hear me get out I wouldn't lift a finger not even if you were dot three years I never want to see you again okay good bye keep moving to the back of the bus please have your fairs ready leave by the rear exit please lady you'll have to step a little further inside so I can close the tour oh oh no not you again I won't move an inch until you let me explain until our misunderstanding is straightened out is this a plot to make me one of the unemployed certainly not this is the rush hour if I get behind schedule now it'll be a permanent vacation your supervisor thinks you're the best driver the company has he does I've just seen him and told him all about us and he even knows how you really feel about me yeah yeah what about the demerits all cancel and you get a raise isn't that wonderful yeah this isn't your imagination again kiss me darling and say you'll marry me well I am the kind of driver kiss her and say you will so the rest of us can get home sometime tonight the cookie falls in the final act of once upon analysis our star Wayne Morris will return for a curtain call after this timely message from Wendell Niles this is important this is urgent over 2,000 young physicians and dentists are needed as volunteers at once for service in the United States Army and United States Air Force these physicians and dentists are required to safeguard the health of the men and women who are serving our country in the armed services if you are a physician or a dentist you are needed now right or wire the surgeon general of the United States Army or the air surgeon of the United States Air Force at once volunteering for active duty let me repeat that right or wire the surgeon general of the United States Army or the air surgeon of the United States Air Force today or see your local US Army Air Force recruiting station now back at the microphone our star Wayne Morris and our producer it's good to have you back with us again Wayne it's good to be back CP I'm getting to be a real character on your shows why Wayne how's that well the last time here I did that the Tommie comic Sam cyclotron the cosmic kid he got involved with snakes gorillas shipwrecks and monsoon pirates this time on a bus driver that gets tangled up with an elephant how do you dream up these parts well that's easy now the next time you don't say a CP I'll take it all right but seriously and speaking of parts they tell me at Warner Brothers your new picture with Gary Cooper is great task force isn't it yes that's right task force it's a story of naval aviation should be out pretty soon now and right down your alley with a great naval flying record behind you I wish you'd let me tell our audience about our CP are not even to plug the picture that war business was a job well we're all mighty proud of the grand job you did you know CP you're talking about jobs did it ever occur to you what fine job opportunities the service offers young men and women these days constantly that's right you and when Niles are doing that pitch all the time but it is a fine thing what else offers better opportunities for young people these days you're hired all right I'll come back anytime Sam cyclotron elephant boy anything you say CP but right now Pat and the youngster and I are going to catch up on some of this oh some breezes maybe some fishing you're not going traveling again no no just on the coast a bit I put on a lot of travel this year yes I know the bond drive trip and the personal appearance tour I don't blame you for wanting to take it easy for a while but what's coming up next oh I don't know right now I'm looking over some scripts but what's doing with you next week CP next week Wayne and ladies and gentlemen the beautiful and very talented actress Marie McDonald comes to star in our theater in a dramatic story of suspense and action titled interrupted honeymoon sounds good and we'll be listening and save those elephants for me will you so long CP so long Wayne we try to join us next week ladies and gentlemen when Marie McDonald returns to star in interrupted honeymoon until then thanks for listening and cheerio from Hollywood Wayne Moss appeared to the courtesy of the Hollywood Board and Committee which arranges for the appearance of all stars in this program script was by Ralph Elliot Dickinson music of Eddie Dunstead this program is transcribed in Hollywood for release at this time Wendell Niles speaking