 وأقول في القرآن ما جاءت به آياته فهو الكاريم المنزاله وأقول قال الله جل جلاله والمصطف الهدي ولا أتأوله الحمد لله رب العالمين وصلت والسلام على عبد الله ورسوله نبينا محمد وعلى آله وصحبه أجمعين السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته كل أسلام is for Allah ونسأل الله عز وجل to exalt the mention in grant piece to our messenger محمد صلى الله عليه وسلم and to his family and his companions This is another episode as part of our short course on the Muslim family brought to you by المدرسة العمارية And in the previous lesson or the previous part of the course we had spoken about the آية in صورة الروم ومن آياته أن خلق لكم من أنفسكم أزواجا لتسكنوا إليها وجعل بينكم مودة ورحمة إن في ذلك لآيات لقومية فكرون talking about the signs of Allah and that from among the signs of Allah عز و جل that show the power of Allah سبحانه وتعالى and his might and his qadr his decree and his wisdom and his knowledge is that Allah عز و جل created husband and wife he created the spouses and we talked about some of the benefits of that we talked about some of the purposes and the goals behind it to achieve tranquility and we talked about the love and the mercy that Allah سبحانه وتعالى puts between the husband and the wife Moving on from that now I'm going to talk about an آية in صورة النساء and it's آية No. 21 and I think this has a very strong or a very powerful message as it relates to marriage and it's importance in Islam Allah عز و جل said وكيف تأخذونه وقد أفضى بعضكم إلى بعض وأخذنا منكم ميثاقا غاليضا Allah said How could you take it back آية the mahar he is talking about the mahar وقد أفضى بعضكم إلى بعض when the two of you had gone to each other as a matter of intimacy وأخذنا منكم ميثاقا غاليضا and those women آية your wife has taken from you a heavy oath ميثاقا غاليضا a heavy covenant so Allah عز و جل described marriage as a covenant and he described it as being غاليضا ويتي now that tells us that marriage is something very serious in Islam and it's not something to be taken lightly it also tells us that it is a covenant as we said it's an agreement whereby the husband has certain things he agrees to and certain expectations the wife has something that she some things she agrees to and certain expectations that she has and that that covenant or that contract is not something which is light it's not something simple like a matter of buying and selling like البيع وشيراء you might go and buy something and sell it and take another one and it's something which is غاليضا it's very serious and very heavy in the sight of Allah and just to understand how serious this oath is in the sight of Allah عز و جل Allah سبحانه وتعالى used this term ميثاقا غاليضا or similar to it a ميثاق which is heavy a weighty covenant for two other things in the Quran Allah عز و جل used it to refer to the covenant that was taken from the prophets that was taken from the prophets that they would believe in the prophet that was sent after them and they would support him and that covenant that was a covenant to believe in the oneness of Allah and to believe in the prophets that Allah عز و جل sent Allah سبحانه وتعالى used a similar word to describe it and likewise when Allah عز و جل took the covenant from Bani Israel and he raised the mountain over them and that weighty oath that Allah سبحانه وتعالى took from Bani Israel Allah used the same words to describe that also ميثاقا غاليضا so this tells us that marriage is something very very serious and very weighty it's not something to be taken lightly and it is a meثاق it is a covenant so there are expectations on both sides there are agreements that are made on both sides and it has to be fulfilled by both people and it's not just a covenant between husband and wife it's a covenant between the spouses and between Allah سبحانه وتعالى and we know this from something which the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم told us and we'll come to the hadith إن شاء الله وتعالى later on when the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم told us that we have taken our wives as a covenant with Allah in terms of it being a covenant with Allah سبحانه وتعالى and something that is our responsibility in it is towards Allah سبحانه وتعالى so it's not just a covenant between the husband and the wife but it's also a covenant between the spouse and between Allah سبحانه وتعالى إن صورة النساء الله عز وجل told us وإن خفتم أن لا تقصيط في اليتام فانكح ما طاب لكم من النساء مثن وثلاثة وربع فإن خفتم أن لا تعدل فواحدة أو ما ملكت إيمانكم ذلك أدنى أن لا تعولوا الله عز وجل said and if you fear that you will not be just with regard to the orphans then marry ما طاب لكم what you are happy with what makes you happy from among the women مثن وثلاثة وربع two or three or four and if you fear that you will not be just then one or whatever your right hands possess here in the ayah what I wanted to talk about is the ruling of marriage here Allah سبحانه وتعالى said فنكيحوا ما طاب لكم من النساء marry who whatever you are happy or whoever you are happy with from among the women so Allah سبحانه وتعالى commander us in the ayah to marry and we know that the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم also commander us to marry we come to the next ayah الله عز وجل told us in Surat al-Nour in ayah number 32 وأنكيحوا الأيام منكم والصالحين من عبادكم وإمائكم إن يكونوا فقراء يغنيهم الله من فضل والله واسع وعليم الله عز وجل he commanded us and he said marry the unmarried among you as well as the righteous from among the male and female slaves if they are poor Allah will enrich them from his virtue and Allah is واسع وعليم Allah عز وجل commands us to marry and we know that the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم also commander us to marry in a hadith of Anas ibn Malik he said رضي الله عن كان رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم يأمر بالباءة وينهى عن التباتر نهيا شديدة ويقول تزوج الودود الولود إني مكاثر بكم الأنبياء يوم القيامة the hadith narrated by الامام أحمد استيقال صحيح باي نوحبان this hadith أنس رضي الله عن he says that the messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم used to command us to get married and he used to forbid us from celibacy where a person deliberately or consciously stops themselves from getting married in other words it's not because they just didn't have enough money at the time or they couldn't find the right person up until now but they consciously and deliberately chose not to get married and he used to forbid celibacy with a strong prohibition نهيا شديدة he used to strongly prohibit it and he used to say marry the one who is ودود وولود marry the woman who is loving and will bear you many children for I will boast of your numbers before the prophets يوم القيامة actually this tells us one of the purposes of marriage another reason why I included this hadith right here is that first of all it tells us the importance of marriage and again it emphasizes the command of the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم to marry and the prohibition of celibacy and a person trying to get near to Allah by not getting married it mentions all of those things but it also tells us one of the purposes of marriage is to have many children and it also shows you that if the Muslim family is right in terms of the husband and the wife and they are upright and righteous then insha'Allah they will have children that are insha'Allah تعالى upright and righteous and that will be a cause for supporting the Muslim nation the Ummah of Islam that they will become bigger that they will have a larger number and of course the ones that the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم is going to mention their numbers so it shows you about the importance of striving to have righteous offspring but who is the one then that it is or what is the ruling of marriage in Islam in terms of the ruling as it relates to فق is it obligatory is it recommended is it permissible is it disliked or forbidden or does it depend on the person that the general rule of marriage i.e. that the general where marriage fits in for most people is that it fits in the category of المستحب that which is highly recommended however it can become obligatory for a person it can get to the stage for a person where it is obligatory for them to do so and that's why رحم الله تعالى he mentioned a very nice definition one that it is obligatory upon them to get married he said المستطيع الذي يخافض ضرر على نفسه ودينه he said the person who is able and who fears for his religion and himself and that can also by the way refer to a man or a woman a person who is able and who fears for a harm for coming to themselves or their religion that can only لا يرتفع ذلك عنه إلا بالتزوج he said this what person the only way that they can remove that harm from themselves and from their religion is to get married then there is no disagreement لا يختلفوا في وجوب it's not there's no disagreement that it is obligatory for that person to get married so if we say that in a general sense the ruling of marriage falls under the مستحبة the things which are recommended but we say that it can easily go into the وجب and particularly in this day and age that we live in today in this day and age where we live in today who is it that can say that they don't fear for a harm for themselves or for their religion if they don't get married now what I really liked about the definition of القرطب here is that he said المستطيع because some of the scholars mention similar similar expressions and similar things but when they mention these expressions and these things not all of them mention the one that is able but in reality this is essential it's essential that the person for it to be وجب upon them they have to be able they have to be able otherwise إلا وسعها الله doesn't burden a person beyond what they can bear but a person who is able to get married and they fear for a harm for themselves or their religion and the only way for them to remove that harm from themselves is to get married and that is the person that we say that it is وجب upon them to marry and it goes outside of just being among those things which are مستحب or which are recommended marriage is one of the سنن of the أنبياء أناس رضي الله عن narrated أناس narrated that some of the companions of the Prophet ﷺ they asked some of the wives of the Prophet ﷺ one of the wives of the Prophet ﷺ about what the Prophet ﷺ used to do in secret meaning when he was not in public what he used to do at home when he was not in front of everyone فحمد الله وأثن عليه وقال some of them said when they heard how the Prophet ﷺ used to be with his family and how he used to be in secret some of the acts of worship that he used to do some of them said I'm never going to get married and some of them said that I'm never going to eat meat and some of them said I will never sleep on my bed in other narrations that they will fast every day and they will not miss a day that they will pray the whole night and they will not sleep when the Prophet ﷺ heard of this he praised Allah and he mentioned the praises of Allah and he said what is the matter with some people who said this and that rather I pray and I sleep and I fast and I break my fast and I marry women so whoever turns away from my Sunnah is not one of me we learn that marriage is a Sunnah from the Sunnah of the Anbiya and it's from the Sunnah of the Prophet ﷺ and that turning away from it is not something praiseworthy not something which Allah ﷺ loves like the person who says I will worship Allah by turning away from marriage or by not giving attention to the marriage and that's also subhan Allah it's not just about not getting married because maybe a lot of people who are watching this may be married perhaps even the majority but it's also about the person who turns away from their marriage turns away from the importance of it and says I'm worshiping Allah I would rather be spending my time worshiping Allah and they don't give attention to it the Sunnah of the Prophet ﷺ is that he would pray and he would sleep I mean he would pray some of the night he would sleep some of the night some days he would fast other days he wouldn't fast and he got married and so that shows you that there is no good in turning away from marriage in order to get nearer to Allah or disregarding it or considering it to be something insignificant in comparison to other ways or other means of getting nearer to Allah سبحانه وتعالى so from this we learned that it is a means of getting nearer to Allah and it is something which is important in the sight of Allah and it was important to the Prophet ﷺ in another hadith the hadith of Abdullah Ibn Masrood رضي الله عنهما and the hadith is in Al-Bukhari and Muslim he said this is another hadith generally encouraging marriage and also telling us some of the purpose behind marriage and also looking at those people who are unable to get married as well so as we said this is the hadith of Abdullah Ibn Masrood رضي الله عنه that he said that the messenger of Allah ﷺ said to us all group of young men yeah the Prophet ﷺ directed this hadith towards the young men and the scholars say the reason for this is that they are the ones that it's felt that this advice would be most important for them this advice goes to all of the Muslims but it's the young men that the Prophet ﷺ he directed this advice to because it's most likely going to be those who are unmarried who are maybe thinking should I marry or shouldn't I marry or group of young men whoever of you is able to do Al-Ba'a now Al-Ba'a is a word the scholars differed over some of them said it is the physical ability to get married to be able to to have the physical abilities to get married but the majority of them said here Al-Ba'a is the financial ability to get married so whoever of you is financially able فليت زوج لهم get married whoever of you is financially able let him get married here again financially able you can talk about this in more detail later on it doesn't mean that necessarily has to own a house and a car and have a huge you know highly paid salary a highly paid job and a big salary and so on that's not what it necessarily means but it means that he has enough to be able to fulfill that responsibility to fulfill that act that agreement and even when we could call it that covenant to be able to fulfill it properly and to be able to say that he actually fulfill the conditions of marriage properly that is what is meant by Al-Ba'a now here we have two extremes we have those people who maybe don't give any or don't pay any attention to this to the issue of they say well Allah سبحانه وتعالى will give me and so on and maybe those people might fall short of the requirements they don't think about the money that they spend upon their family they don't think whether they have any whether there's any difficulty for their family or not so that is one side of it but the other side of it are those people who keep on delaying and delaying and delaying marriage until a point which will never ever come or which may never come which is just keeping on adding more and more requirements who add those requirements for their children they say don't get married until you have this don't get married until you finish this don't get married until you have at least this much don't get married until you have such and such a possession or such and such for example you own your own house and you own your own car and you have such and such amount of money this is all and also an exaggeration and something which is not from the religion of Islam rather the religion of Islam everything is it's in the middle yes a person has to bear in mind that they have enough money to be able to fulfill the expectation and the needs of their family and those expectations and needs differ from person to person they're not the same for everybody so if you marry a princess then you need to be able to provide her with a palace that's the simple reality of it but people are of different levels in terms of their expectations and their financial expectations and what they need and their needs and so on so ultimately this is something which differs from person to person but it is given account in Islam that the man can fulfill the basic requirements of getting married let that person get married let that person get married because this is going to be better let that person to lower their gaze and it's going to be better in protecting their private parts that is what is two purposes or even if we want to gather it together into one purpose and call it chastity one of the major purposes of marriage to achieve chastity to achieve the fact that the husband and the wife no longer look at or no have no desire or no need to look outside for their marriage to fulfill that those needs that Allah has created them with so the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم told us here that a person who gets married will help them to lower their gaze and it will help them to be people who are chast ومن لم يستطيع فعليه بصوم and whoever is not able because there will be people who are not able because the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم ملبطر whoever of you has the ability whoever of you is able so that means that there are going to be some people who are not able those people فعليه بصوم let that person fast which this will be a means of cutting off their desires so a person says I'm finding my eye you know sort of wondering from place to place I'm not I'm not protecting myself in that regard the way that I would wish a person says let that person get married and then he says but I can't get married because at the moment I mean my circumstances are such that I can't get married then if the person is in that situation فعليه بصوم إسلام gives him an alternative and that alternative is to fast and that fast will be a way of protecting that person and it will be a we are cutting off it will cut off that person's desires until such a time to get married this is something that Allah also told us about in the Quran when Allah spoke about the characteristics of the believer قد أفلح المؤمنون one of the things that Allah told us about in Surat المؤمنون in ayah 5 those who protect their private parts except from their spouses or the ones that their right hands possess and they will not be blamed for that so that's another evidence for one of the purposes of marriage being to achieve that chastity and being to provide a حلال alternative to that which Allah سبحانه وتعالى has made حرام in that regard the last hadith that we're going to look at the hadith of عكبة ابن عامر رضي الله عن حديث صحيح البخاري المسلم that he said قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم إن أحق الشرطي أن يوفى به مستحللتم به الفروج he said that the most deserving condition for you to fulfill or the most deserving conditions in some of the narrations for you to fulfill are those which make the private parts حلال and that just really shows us the seriousness again of marriage and the seriousness of these conditions and the شروط it comes with the حقوق the rights that it comes with and the agreements that are made between husband and wife and how serious and important they are in Islam we're going to conclude the episode with that hadith of عكبة ابن عامر رضي الله عن and in the next episode إن شاء الله وتعالى we're going to look at the characteristics of the husband those characteristics that we should try to embody in ourselves and that if a person is looking to get married if there is a sister looking to get married that she should look for in a husband or that the sister's family should look for in a husband so we're taking it from a comprehensive sort of viewpoint and try to look at the the characteristics that should be there within the husband إن شاء الله وتعالى that's what Allah عز وجد made easy for me to mention and Allah knows best والصلاة والسلام على بين محمد وعلى آله وصحبه أجمعين السلام عليكم if you're enjoying these videos and you'd like to keep up to date with all of the courses we're going to be running make sure you head over to amauathome.com