 Initiating conflict resolution. How to plan an effective opening statement. Being in conflict with someone is never easy. However, it is usually better to acknowledge the conflict and work to resolve it than it is to avoid it. When you want to initiate a conflict resolution process with another person, it is best to use a win-win problem-solving approach. This means that you will be able to state your views and needs, listen carefully to the other person's views and needs, and then work together to find a solution agreeable to both. A model for initiating win-win conflict resolution. Plan an approach that includes an assertive I statement that identifies your concerns about the situation. Present your statement to the other party. Let the other party respond. Free on the conflict. Develop alternative solutions. Make an agreement for change. The first and most important step is to plan an assertive I statement that you can use to approach the other party. This step requires the initiator to think through why the conflict is of concern to him or her and what his or her needs are in the situation. By phrasing the concerns into an I statement, the initiator will establish a problem-solving atmosphere, maintain his or her role in the conflict, not blame the other, keep him or herself focused and calm, and reduce the potential defensiveness of the other party. An assertive I statement uses the BCF model. B equals behavior that bothers you. C equals consequences of that behavior on you. F equals your feelings about the situation. A BCF statement only describes the problem from your point of view. It does not introduce possible solutions. It does not attack the other person on a personal level. The formula is when you state your behavior, I feel state feelings because state consequences. For example, when you interrupt me at meetings, your behavior, I lose my train of thought, the consequence, and that makes me feel foolish in front of the team, my feelings. The order of the BCF statement does not matter as long as all of the components are included. For example, I feel frustrated, my feeling, when you keep coming back with more instructions after I've started a project, your behavior, because then I have to redo what I've already done and that wastes time, the consequence. Let's read each of the following statements and determine if it is a well-phrased BCF statement. If not, we will indicate what parts are missing. Number one, Mary, please stop putting your papers all over my desk. This sentence is missing consequences and feelings. Number two, I get so confused when you change the procedures so often. This sentence is missing the consequences. Number three, when you come so late to meetings, I get upset because I have to switch the agenda around and that makes the meeting less effective. This sentence is complete. Number four, I have to work overtime because of you. This sentence is missing behavior and feelings. Number five, I really dislike the music you listen to all day. Please turn it off. This sentence is missing the consequences. This completes our activity on initiating conflict resolution and planning an effective opening statement.