 What you may not know about the narcissist, what you may not be aware of, what you may not have observed, narcissists are very controlling, they have a strong desire to influence and direct people's behaviour at the course of events, but what many people don't realise and what you may not know about the narcissist is that they are being controlled too. Narcissists have an inner dialogue or inner critic, they have this inner voice inside their heads that judges, criticises or demeans them. It speaks to them and tells them that they are not good enough. How someone feels about themselves is how they will feel about you. Whatever emotions they are displaying to you are coming from within them and these emotions are based on how they feel about themselves. They are being controlled by this inner critic and their emotions. They are being controlled by their feelings of unworthiness and as though they are not enough they secretly believe that they are not deserving of respect or attention, but instead of acknowledging that this is how they really feel about themselves they choose to project these feelings onto you and treat you with contempt as though you are worthless or beneath their consideration. If you have ever observed someone who is genuinely happy with themselves you will know that happy people will not bring you down. They will only lift you up and raise your spirits, they will only cause you to become happier and more cheerful, but when you are around the narcissist you always feel worse, you lack confidence in yourself and your own abilities or qualities, you no longer appreciate all of the amazing things about yourself and while it may seem that you are simply adopting the narcissist view about yourself you are actually taking on the feelings that they refuse to acknowledge about themselves. They don't want to accept how they really feel about themselves so they project it onto you but the truth is they really do not like themselves which is why they tend to disown or hide certain parts that they are ashamed of. They try to make you feel insecure because that is exactly how they feel about themselves. They are being controlled by their inner critic and their emotions. When you first meet the narcissist whatever you like or are interested in has an influence on them. They have to mirror you to attract your attention, they have to mirror your likes and interests. To do this they have to allow whatever you like or are interested in to have an influence on them. They have to let it affect their character and behaviour. They also have to follow trends or fashions so that they remain attractive or interesting to potential sources of supply. All of these things can cause their identity to shift very rapidly which is why it may often seem as though their entire identity changes depending on the environment they are in or who they are around. Nothing is fixed because they are being controlled by their potential sources of supply. They are being controlled by trends or fashions. Narcissists may have a strong desire to control you but what you may not know is that they are being controlled too. They are being influenced by their inner dialogue or inner critic, other people and trends or fashions. They are constantly having this own however they feel about themselves and take on whatever they believe will make them more attractive or interesting to potential sources of supply so while they may be trying to control you they are being controlled too. They are very insecure, they are very uncertain and anxious about themselves, mirroring other people or following trends or fashions provides them with a false sense of stability and security. It makes them feel as though maybe they are worth something after all but it's not real because our feelings of worthiness or respect should not come from other people or things. It should come from within and that is why nothing is fixed in the narcissist's life. They always need someone or something new but they can never be satisfied as long as the narcissist continues to attach themselves to other people or things to provide them with a false sense of happiness. They will never know what it is like to experience true peace and fulfilment. The type of feeling that can only come from within as long as they continue to attach themselves to other people or things it will only disrupt what is meant to naturally occur within them. They will remain dependent on other people or things for a false sense of happiness because they don't want to deal with the pain and shame inside of them. When it is that pain and shame that will set them free. Thank you for watching. I hope this video resonates with you. Please like, comment, share and subscribe. Click the bell icon to receive notifications for my future videos. If you would like to donate my PayPal links in the video description. Coaching and inquiries, gleaming me and ask for other coaching at gmail.com. Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon.