 The monsters we make, indeed, life does teach us a thing or two about being our brother's keeper. And while it's a dog-it-dog world where everybody is looking like lunch, I take this opportunity to advocate the need for humanness and thoughtfulness in our dealings with our fellow man by recounting this personal tale. Years ago, during my undergraduate days, I started an event and venue styling business as a side hustle. A client of mine, Jessica by name, took me to her wedding reception venue. She was super excited and like most brides wanted perfection. She settled for an Arabian princess theme in her favorite color pink and she hired my services, certain I wouldn't disappoint. There was a decor supply store right close to the reception venue and a quick drop by revealed that they had really beautiful pink table leanings that I thought would be a great addition to styling Jessica's venue. After small talk with the business owner, I inquired about the rental price for the table leanings and the shop attendant told me the rental cost in presence of her madam. I made reservations and gave them the date of my event and left. The pink table leanings were exquisite. I was eager to have them add a lot of panache to Jessica's venue styling. On the day of the wedding, after the decor had been done, everywhere was fabulous. The final touch to jazz up the space was the table leanings and I hurriedly made for the store to get them. I walked in briskly. Now every decorator understands the urgency of getting a hall ready before guests begin to arrive. I greeted the madam and hurriedly called out to the shop girl to let me have 60 of the table leanings. I was a bit taken aback when the madam got up from her usual seat and moved towards myself and the shop girl. I had the agreed amount for the 60 leanings and handing that over to the shop girl, her madam asked, how much is that? I responded and she said no, it's ex Naira and the amount she called was six times the agreed amount. I was dumbstruck, mouth agape. I thought to myself, what a shark. What sort of human took advantage of another person at such a precarious moment? I was at the point of tears, literally. Well, I'm a fighter and I can never, never be leveraged. So I squared my shoulders and walked out of her shop. I would rather spend 10 times more buying leaning from the market than getting her leaning at her horrible price. A couple years later, I'm heading up a project looking to hire the decor services of this same woman for a job that may very well change her fortunes. Isn't life funny? I often tell people who care to listen that life is just life and the hand that you deal another will very likely serve you in double fold While it is in my power to exact revenge, I choose the high road of unbiased fairness in making a decision of who to hire. Thankfully, I am not a monster. Rather, she did not make me into a monster. That was quite noble of you. I'm not sure that I would have been quite that magnanimous. I mean, I doubt it, but that was really good. But I enjoyed the story. The good part for me is knowing that people's actions can't always change me. Just knowing I'm meant to do what is right at any point in time. It's something to keep in mind because driving through Lagos, living in Lagos, it makes the monsters of us. You just wake up one day and you realize an employee has exploited you. You're putting policies and everybody else that is in that environment is now a suspect. The landlord knows the last tenant didn't move out on time. It took six months, one year, and it was going to cut. So, therefore, everybody else has to sign something, right? Correct. So, we're living in a society where we're exacting. Everyone is becoming a suspect and we're trying to protect ourselves and we're losing our humanness. There is no ability, there is no empathy in how we relate. Even people tweeting sometimes. You just have to know that the other person is working a journey of challenge and you have no work a mile in the amokasim. So, how do you think you figured it out? Well, it's something to keep in mind. Hope I'm not a monster though. Oh no, I don't think you are. The story is humbling. And it happens to almost all of us. And it is grace, courage, and being deliberate. Not to become a monster in the society we live in. I was discussing with someone recently that in Nigeria, which happens almost every day, when your car is bashed by another person and you have insurance, you'd rather want to hit the person in the face. I know, right? You don't have to call your insurance or they will report to the police. But it takes grace, it takes courage, it takes being deliberate. Not to allow those kind of things to affect you. I had an experience between last year, December and now and one of the advice of the doctor is that I should not get too emotional, get too angry. And I must tell you, it's not been very easy. That last hour was very tense. Because I was wondering how the doctor expected him to actually carry out... Illegals. Was he dreaming or did he plan for him to... Relocate. Jaffa means relocate, for you or you go watch it. This story reminds me of something that I ventured into a few years ago. Interestingly, in looking for... It wasn't just a side hustle for me, it was really more of an offshoot of my upbringing and I became a certified etiquette consultant. And it was interesting that growing up and even before I went on to become that, I just thought of etiquette as how we eat, how we sit, how we engage. And it was interesting to discover that in the developed world and in quite a lot of other places, maybe in homes, but not exactly in schools or in public places, behavioral etiquette, manners, how you behave, how you engage with other people is actually a part of life. And what that woman obviously did was not just about being a Shiloh or being a monster. It actually showed a very deep sense of lack of manners. It showed that she had no integrity. Because when we think integrity, we think integrity when it comes to political offices or money or corruption issues. Well, integrity is keeping your word. Actually, in fact, in the part of the training, it was their claim. The first time I saw integrity, I was like, I will confess. I was like, what are they talking about? And they were like, look, you know what? Integrity is simply putting yourself in other person's shoes. And it has to look at issues of empathy and something like that. So I believe that our society as a whole really needs to not just talk about how we're losing our humanness and our humanity, but our society as a whole needs to go back to the drawing table. And as individuals, we need to probably start to decide to educate ourselves, our people around us. And maybe for a lot of the political people around me, because I've heard a lot about politics in the last few weeks, maybe we need to make it out of our way. In all our trainings and our engagements, how do I make the other person feel? How do I actually hold my word? How can I be held as a person whose word is truth? And which is why when we want to travel out of Nigeria or when we're even representing ourselves as Nigerians, we have a certain image. So while it may be a bad story and we're thankful that we're not monsters, and I found it hard to think that when the time came for me to hire her, what would I have done? I think it's time for us to look at the general image and the final end point of where we're going to live. But then I would have all that I've done if I met that one and I had to hire her. And I've been a life lesson. And I've told her exactly what it was that she did wrong, not just in hurting me or in actually creating a problem with my business at that time, but the behavioral pattern that she did, what she did and how she shouldn't repeat it. Oh well, you know what they say. It's easy for you when the shoes are not on your heels. Anyhow, a famous man once said, a good person can make another person good. It means that goodness will elicit goodness in society. And other persons will also be good. Join us again next week on another edition of The Advocate. While The Advocate continues on our social media platforms on Facebook, Plus TV Africa, hashtag The Advocate NG and Instagram, at Plus TV Africa, same hashtag The Advocate NG. To touch up with previous broadcasts, log on to PlusTVAfrica.com forward slash The Advocate NG. Don't forget to subscribe to our YouTube channel, Plus TV Africa. Join us again next week, same time on this station. Let's keep advocating for a better society. Goodbye and God bless.