 the first stage I want us to write this down is the development of men the first stage is we are born male we are born male you might say well it's obvious uh not no more we live in a generation where you can choose whether you're male or not and I want to be respectful to people who may be struggling with that and have actually like confusion in their mind and maybe fighting and hurting inside and not sure about their identity and their gender and everything and I don't want to throw these general slogans that people like to do behind the pulpit and not actually knowing people who struggle with that but the word of God tells us that God made them male and female which means that being a male is not your decision it's your discovery you don't decide to be a male you only discover that you are one you may say how do we discover that you go into the restroom and you discover so you are born a male that's very important number two is you become a boy after that a boy is a selfish kid a boy you may say what is the difference between a boy and a man well we're gonna see right now a boy is someone who is passive a man is assertive a boy lives for a moment typically for the weekend a man plans for the future a boy looks for a girlfriend man looks for a wife a boy loves to speak man acts a boy is possessive and controlling a man is protective a boy plays games a man shoulders responsibility a boy tells others he's a man a man quietly lives it a boy makes excuses man makes progress a boy makes demands a man serves other people a boy lies and cheats and deceives but a man tells the truth his word is his bond even if it hurts them even if it embarrasses even if it makes him feel bad a man or knows one thing his value and worth is never determined by his gifts it's not determined by his talent his money is determined by his integrity and your integrity is as good as your honesty when you are a boy people are fed up with you when you are a man people are fed by you a boy is somebody who lives in the flesh is guided by the flesh you can be 24 and be a boy you can be 40 and be a boy or you can be 12 and be a boy but there's one characteristic about boys is people that are close to them that know them not those that see them on instagram and facebook and see them from a distance but people that know them typically are fed up with them they're fed up with their lives they're fed up with them playing games they're fed up with them not being consistent they're fed up with their laziness they're fed up with their addiction to the remote control they're fed up with them being on their phone they're fed up with them not reading the bible not praying they're fed up with them not following god not leading the family they're always fed up but a man a real man he is led by the spirit of god which means that he develops a fruit of the spirit what does the fruit does feeds other people now this man may impress the world but his family is fed by him a boy impresses the world but he can never impress his family because see your family is not impressed by your games people that know you close friends they're not impressed by your skills or your gifts they're only fed by your character or fed up by lack of it come on somebody this is not a good time to look at your husband not a good time to look at your husband i see some wives not a good time to do that it's a father's day number three we grow to become a man so we go from a boyhood to becoming a man i want you to write this down you're a male by birth you're a man by choice you're not born a man you become a man you don't become a man because you passed through puberty you don't become a man because you can make a woman pregnant you don't become a man because you got a muscle car and you don't become a man because you got muscles you don't become a man because you got a bachelor's degree you don't become a man because you got a house and you don't become a man because you got words and trophies you don't become a man because people call you a man you don't become a man because you got a mustache you don't become a man because you started to shave what what makes a man there's one word that makes a man maturity come on come on I know word maturity is used as a qualification to watch R-rated films. Are you mature? For mature only. Meaning you can consume junk. In the Biblical definition of maturity, maturity is not your ability to consume alcohol, smoke, or watch porn. Biblical definition of maturity is something different than that because maturity is not age, maturity is not academics, maturity is not accomplishments, and maturity is not appearance. It's an attitude that you possess toward the things in life, toward yourself, toward people around you, toward your mistakes, toward your successes. Your maturity is always determined by your attitude. If you made a mistake, I wasn't sure whether to go or not. And we see that in Adam, God gives him a word, you have to do this. And Adam goes into boyhood instead of manhood. Instead of leading his wife away from sin, and instead of killing the snake, Adam sees his wife, who has a weak moment, gets deceived by the snake, and Adam stood there, and the Bible says, Adam stood beside her when the snake was doing the conversation, and Eve is giving him that fruit. Adam was not deceived like Eve was. So Adam had a choice to help his wife, says, hey honey, not a good time to talk to snakes, put that apple back, let's go back. Let me get you some mangoes and some other fruits, they're much better. Adam stood there, instead of being a warrior, he's a wimp. Instead of being aggressive against the enemy, he is passive. Instead of pursuing God, he just kind of stands there, you want me to eat the apple? Okay, I'll eat the apple. He eats the apple, and you see Adam is a boy. He's not leading a woman to Christ. He's now blaming a woman, because when God comes and says, who did this, not me, her. Anytime a man doesn't follow Christ, is where boyhood begins. When you ignore your consciousness as a man, the consciousness screams and says, don't! And you begin to silence it. You silence the Holy Spirit. He can't produce a character if he's ignored. You slip into the flesh. When Adam slipped into the flesh, something happened, is the boyhood begins to be maximized that Adam now doesn't take responsibility for his junk. He blames it on somebody else. Blames it on Eve. And Eve, of course, she blames it on the snake, and tarara. And God begins to bring discipline on Adam. Why? Because Adam didn't mature. See, your sin is not the problem. It's the fact how you deal with your sin, that's the problem. Temptation is not the problem. Being attacked is not the problem. Being assaulted is not the problem. It's how you respond to it. When the Holy Spirit convicts you, do you silence that? Or do you say, yes, Holy Spirit? Because your character is developed by the voices you obey. Do you obey the Holy Spirit, or do you obey the voice of the flesh? Do you obey the Holy Spirit, or do you obey the voice of people? A real man knows, I respect you, thank you. But God says, no, I can't do that. If you want to do that, that's your choice. But I am not going to do that. Why? Because I obey God. I love you, honey. But before I met you, I gave my life to someone who created you, who created me, and when I die, I'm going to stand naked, not in front of you, in front of him. So I live my life for the opinion of one. And your character is developed when you live like that. Number four, when we get married, we get married, become a husband. Marriage makes you a husband. Maturity makes you a great husband. When you get married, you become a husband. But when you are mature, you become a husband, good to live with. A husband that a wife thanks God for. A husband that the girlfriends say, man, you got a great husband. And it's not because she posts pictures of roses that you give once in eight months. But it's actually, because it's evident that you make your wife happy. The problem that happens is when a boy skips the manhood stage and thinks that just because he got a thing between his legs, he's ready to be husband. You're still a boy that needs to grow to become a man. And when you're a man means when you're mature, when you learn to deal with your stuff, when you learn honesty, when you learn to take responsibility, when you learn the character, when you learn to follow the Holy Spirit instead of following your flesh, and you become a man, something happens. Now you're ready for one more challenge because becoming a man was hard. Wait until you get a woman. It will take you to another level because see your standard is not your dad, your standard is Jesus Christ. And you look at Jesus and Jesus doesn't play by these rules. You don't like me? I don't like you too. You didn't satisfy me? You didn't please me? Well, watch me. That's not how Jesus left the example. He came to the church and the church was at its worst and Jesus was at his best and Jesus never dumped us, never left us, never said a bad word, never beat us, never accused us. Jesus was the great husband, continues to be. There's one thing about Jesus. He's consistent.