 Kraft presents the great gilder sleeve Cheese company will also bring you Bing Crosby every Thursday night present each week at this time Harold Perry as the great gilder sleeve written by John Whedon and Sam Boyd There for the great gilder sleeve in just a moment But first what's the reason you home makers favor certain foods? Is it because they have a flavor that particularly pleases the family appetites or you buy them for reasons of economy? or maybe nutrition is your most important consideration. Well, one food that you'll find is entirely satisfactory for all three reasons is parquet, the quality margarine made by craft. Parquet margarine is a favorite in millions of homes as a spread for bread and as an appetizing seasoning for hot vegetables. You'll find too that it's grand when used for baking and pan frying. What's more, parquet margarine is wonderfully nutritious. In fact, it's one of the best energy foods you can serve and in summer as well as in winter, every pound contains 9,000 units of vitamin A. Now as for economy, parquet margarine costs a little cash and requires just five red ration points per pound. So for flavor, for good family nutrition, and for red stamp and cash economy, serve parquet, P-A-R-K-A-Y. Parquet margarine made by craft. Now let's hurry on to Summerfield where the whole town seems to be in a flurry of excitement and anticipation. Cakes are a baking and gifts are wrapping and tongues are wagging. On the morning of his last day as a bachelor, we find the Great Gilder Sleeve lingering alone over breakfast and studying his nerves with a fourth cup of coffee. Often the kitchen comes the sound of birdies rejoicing. No! Birdie! Yes, sir. For goodness sake. So you want Mr. Gilles Sleeve? If you must sing, sing something cheerful. Yes, sir. Where is everybody? Where's Marjorie? Where's Lee Roy? Mr. Gilles Sleeve. They came and they went. Lee Roy didn't even finish his Popsies. No, sir. I've been around somewhere. I don't know what's the matter with everybody here. I don't know what everybody is so sad about. Have to eat breakfast alone. Have to listen to that. Nobody knows how happy I am. Birdie! Yes, sir. Nothing. Let it go. Let it go. Don't rush off, Marjorie. Come in and sit down with your old uncle while he finishes breakfast. Won't you? But I had mine hours ago. I know. But just sit with me, won't you? Well, just a minute. I don't know what it is. Everybody seems to be avoiding me. Have I done something? No, Uncle Mort. No. Of course not. Birdie hardly speaks to me. You haven't been around all morning. I'd even be glad to see Lee Roy. What's wrong, Marjorie? Nothing, I guess. Everything. I can't explain. You wouldn't understand. Is it Ben? You miss him, don't you? Sure I miss him. But not as much as I'm going to miss you. Why, Marjorie, I'm going to be around. Because I'm getting married? That doesn't mean anything's going to be changed. Marjorie, you don't think I'd... Marjorie! Don't ask me! I give up. Birdie! Yes, Mr. Gillespie? Tell me, what's the matter with everybody this morning? I don't know, Mr. Gillespie. Maybe the June bug has got him. What's the matter? Has the June bug got you too? Yes, I guess it has. I give up. Anybody who has anything to do with women ought to have his head examined. I've asked you before, please, not to sing that song. What's the matter? Don't you like it? I like the song, but I don't like your rendition. Sorry, Mr. Gillespie, excuse me. Yes, Birdie, what do you want? No good. Come here, young man. I'm just trying to put you in the mood. You're going to put me in a sanitarium. I'm trying to talk with Birdie here and you stick your shirt tail in. You're yelling your head off all the time. Now go find something to do. Gosh, just getting to a guy can't even open his mouth around here. What a character. I heard that. Well, Birdie, what is it you wanted to say? Well, sir, I suppose after you get married tomorrow, you probably won't be meeting me anymore, huh? Won't need you anymore. Birdie, stop talking nonsense. Well, you'll be married then and Mrs. Ranson probably got different ideas. Listen, what's going on here? Has anybody gone crazy? Just because I'm getting married, the world doesn't have to come to an end. People have gotten married before, you know. People have been getting married for 15 or 20 years now. Gods, I never saw such a gloomy place. Marjorie crying, Leroy sulking, you talking about leaving. I can't stand it. I'm getting out of here. What can I do for you this married morning? Give me something for a headache. A headache? Well, would you say you were suffering from an intestinal headache or an eye strain headache or a brain fatigue headache? I've just got a great big headache, PV. Haven't you just got a plain headache cure? Well, now, Mr. Gildishly cures the word we pharmacists like to avoid. Most headache remedies, for example, simply alleviate. Oh, they do. Then for heaven's sakes, alleviate mine quick, will you? All right, sir. Let me see. I've got a new preparation here. The wholesale man has been pushing. It's called head ease. Well, give me some of that. I'll try anything. Here, take this with a little water. Thank you, PV. It'll be a few minutes before that takes effect. That is, if it does. Thank you, Frank. I might as well wait here then. If I go home, it'll just start again anyway. A headache caused by domestic difficulties, Mr. Gildishly? Yes, Mr. PV. By George, the way they're all behaving, you'd think they had to get married tomorrow. No, my tomorrow is the happy day, isn't it? It's tomorrow. Tell me, is it normal for a man to be a little twitchy at the day before his wedding? Normal, Mr. Gildishly? Well, if anyone could say for sure what's normal and what isn't, he'd be a wise man. Don't get off the track, PV. Were you nervous the day before your wedding? Well, I wouldn't say nervous exactly, although my temperature went up to 99 and 2-tenths. Fahrenheit, I suppose. Yes, I checked it on two thermometers. My symptoms are different, PV. My left eye jumps. I've got a twitch in my left elbow, too, and, well, sort of a general apprehensive feeling. I'd say it was possible that those symptoms all had some sort of psychological basis. You mean you think they'll all disappear as soon as I'm married? Well, no, I wouldn't say that. That reminds me, I hope you won't mind, but Mrs. PV and I sent Mrs. Ransom a wedding gift. Oh, well, that was very nice of you and Mrs. PV. There's nothing to get excited about, Mr. Gildersleeve. It's a radish bowl. Oh. Well, it's nice for radishes, anyway. What I started to say was we didn't have it monogrammed. Oh, that's all right, PV. Thanks, anyway. I've always been leery of monograms ever since my brother's wedding was canceled at the last minute. Uh, canceled? Yes. And, Mr. Gildersleeve, you would just can't imagine the trouble there was returning those wedding presents. Oh, it must have been terrible. How did it happen that your brothers... The monogram things were the worst, I remember. Stores won't take them back, you know. I know. You say the wedding was canceled? This particular monogram was especially awkward because it happened to be QQP. A little off the beaten path, you might say. Miles from it, PV. How did it happen your brother's wedding was canceled? Well, I'll tell you. This was my younger brother. Have you ever knew him? Lasseter, PV? No. Never met Lasseter. He was engaged to Mariah, girl. A dancer named Queenie Quinn. I told you the monogram was QQP. Yes, you told me. Well, just the day before the wedding, he went to see her and she took a fence at some remark of his. She asked him to leave the house and the next day she refused to marry him. You don't say. Yes, sir, and she was as good as her word. There was no other man involved. Oh, no. Your brother didn't lose all his money or anything. No. The girl just called the whole thing off because of a chance remark? Well, I'm not sure, Mr. Gillersleeve. Knowing the lady in question, I always thought maybe Lasseter made that remark on purpose. Yes. Well, I think I'll be running along now, PV. Well, how about a sedative for that jumpy feeling, Mr. Gillersleeve? I don't need it, PV. I feel much better now. A remark, eh? All I need is a good remark. Leela, I'll say you and I have got to have an understanding. Things are going to be different around here after we're married. Things are going to be done the way I want. And if you don't like it now, it's the time to do something about it or forever after, hold your peace. I'll tell her. Leela? I'm a darling. Leela, you and I have got to have an understanding. Darling, I'd love to have an understanding with you. Uh, you would? Of course, right now I'm a little busy. No, right now. All right, darling. I just thought with the wedding and all... The wedding can wait. If you say so, darling, of course. You don't have to be such a martyr about it. Darling, nothing in the world is as important to me as what you want to do. You know that. Huh? Now come sit down beside Leela on the swing and tell her what's troubling you. I don't want to sit down. Well, then maybe you'd like to walk in the garden. The roses are gorgeous. I hate walking. Oh, well then... I hate roses too. Let's sit down. All right, lads. Darling, your tie's all crooked here. Let me fix it. You know, you need someone to take care of you. You rarely do. What's the matter with my tie? I like it the way it is. Throck Martin, you're being just a teensy bit difficult this morning. Who's being difficult? Just because I make a chance remark about a tie, you try to make a great big issue out of it. Well, if you don't like it... Oh, darling, don't misunderstand me. I love you when you're being difficult. Huh? It reminds me of Beauregard. Beauregard? I'll never forget when I was married to Beauregard. When he got up in the morning, he was always cross as a bear till it had his breakfast. Well, I've had breakfast. Why, why, someone, as he'd feel so mean, he deliberately tried to pick a quarrel with me. And then I'd kiss him and it made him so mad. You mean he quarreled with you and you liked him for it? Oh, gracious, no woman wants a man who has no spirit. Huh, Peavey ought to get around more. Oh, I said, I'm sorry if I seem Peavey. Great. The fact is, uh, well, I've come here to confess something, Leela. Oh, I love confessions. Leela, please, be serious. I'm serious, darling, go on. Well, I feel I should tell you this, Leela. I feel that I should warn you. I'm not worthy of you, my dear. Oh, throughout, Martin, don't be silly. I'm not. I'm a terrible fellow, really. Hardly anybody likes me. There are things about me you don't know, Leela. I've done things you wouldn't believe. Why, how fascinating! Tell me about it. I couldn't, Leela. I couldn't. They're the kind of things people don't speak about. I can only warn you that if you go through with this wedding, it'll bring you nothing but unhappiness, Leela. Much as it hurts me to say it. Oh, now, Schrock, Martin, don't you worry. I'm going to tell you a secret. Beauregard was no saint either. Beauregard? Always Beauregard. I guess I never told you about my tragedy with Beauregard. It's a thing I don't talk about much. Even after all these years, the memory is too painful. It's all right with me if I never hear about Beauregard again. Oh, I'll never forget him standing there on the doorway that night. So pried and so hideous. We'd had words about something, and he said some dreadful things to me, and I guess I said some dreadful things to him. And as he went out, he paused, and he said, Well, woman, is that all you have to say to me? And that's all I said to him, Schrock, Martin. With just one word, one single word, I could have held him, but I didn't. I'll let him go. And that's the last time he was ever seen alive. I'll never forgive myself. There, there, Leland. That's why I'll never let you go through, I'll never, never, never. Pee me. Oh, I know we're going to be happy together, darling. Say we're going to be happy together. Just you and I. Sure, just you and I in full regard. A geller's leave will be with us again in just a few seconds. Meanwhile, you know the old saying, waste not, want not. Well, it certainly applies to food in these days of shortages. And it applies to everything related to food. For example, cash and red ration stamps. Now, one of the best ways to affect real economy of cash and red stamps is to buy foods that are low in point cost and high in food value, like parquet, the quality margarine made by Kraft. Parquet tents the appetite in many ways. It's highly nourishing and it requires a surprisingly small cash outlay and only five red ration points per pound. Your family will like parquet margarine as a spread for bread and as a delicate seasoning in cooking vegetables from your victory garden. You'll like it for baking and for pan-frying, too. Besides delicious flavor, parquet is wonderfully nourishing. In fact, it's one of the best energy foods you can serve and every pound contains 9,000 units of vitamin A. So, for all these reasons, serve your family parquet, P-A-R-K-A-Y, parquet margarine made by Kraft. Now, what of the Great Gilder Sleeves? Well, the condemned man ate a hearty dinner, sat silently for half an hour puffing on a cigar, which he'd forgotten to light, and excused himself early, big day ahead. For hours, he tossed and turned in his bed, unable to sleep. And now at last, with the first pale light of dawn breaking over the South Street Church, he's dozed off. The figure of Gilder Sleeve lies a dormant mass in a twisted sheet, but through his tortured brain race wild dreams, the dreams of a desperate man. Buck up, old man, buck up. No, I can't go through with it. Do you, Leela, take this man to be thy wedded husband, to love and to cherish, to have and to hold, till death do you part? D-da-doo! And do you, Throckmorton, take this woman to be thy wedded wife, to love, honor and obey, till death do you part? No! The Annie V. Mulhouser Memorial Window. Good boy. Run for it. We'll step on it some more. Leroy, remind me to get the oil change next time we get there. Here they come. They're gaining on us. Oh, my goodness. Judge Hooker's at the wheel. Hooker, he'll stop at nothing. We haven't a chance, honk. He's got a seat card, and we've only got an A. Hope? If we can just make the house, I know a swell place to hide in the cedar closet. Here we are. I know he's not here. I mean, he is so here. He's right here with me. I mean, I'm him. Uh, never mind what I mean. Let me in, Bertie. Who's that? He's down at the church getting married. Oh, he's not here. He's right here. Don't you recognize me, Bertie? It's me, Mr. Gillisleave. Open the door, and you'll see. I ain't taking no chances. Let me get a laugh. Will you protect me? Who's after you? Judge Hooker ain't going to get you. Not while I've got this meat chopper. There's nobody home but the maids. Then what will you do? Why are you talking about gilding? It's time to wake up. Mr. Gillisleave, wake up the judges here. My land. Look how he's tangled up that bed. Wake up, old man. Wake up. Oh, there was sausage, hot pen, and pulp in it. Judge, Bertie. Oh, my goodness. I had the most horrible dream. I dreamed it was my wedding day. Well, get up, you darn fool. It is. And whoever invented an ascot tie, I hope he chokes. And he will if he wears one like this. Now, Gilly, you look fine. Here, slip on the vest. Vest in the middle of July? Who said July was a good month for weddings? It's not July, Gildy. It's only June. June's no good either. Give me the coat. There. I got you looking like a model bridegroom. I don't believe it. Look in the glass. How's that? I look like a barefooted floor walker. Well, shoes will help. And for heaven's sake, get going. We're due at the church in half an hour. Oh, don't keep saying that. Well, we are. Hurry up now. I'm putting on your shoes. I'm waiting for my socks. Birdie's ironing my blue socks. Blue. Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue. Gildy. Am I blue? Morton, please. Now, it's getting late and you're behaving like an irresponsible child. Now, buck up. I'm sorry, horse. I'll be all right. I'll go through with it. That's the stuff, Gildy. Judge, how would it be if I sent her an anonymous letter, warning her not to marry me? She'd recognize your handwriting. Yes, darn it. Uncle Mort, are you almost ready? Oh, yes, my dear. Just trying to pull the judge together. Is he all right, Judge? He looks terrible. You're right, my dear. I do look terrible. I'm not going to wear this thing. Oh, now, Uncle Mort, you look very nice. Oh, thank you, my dear. You look nice, too. Oh, do I really look all right? I've been so rushed to hardly know what I've got on. What's been keeping you so busy? Well, Lila got her run on her last pair of nylons and I simply tore all over town to find her another pair. And then she lost the key to her suitcase, so I had to take it to the lock man. Why not let Leroy do that? He's guarding the wedding presents. Oh, my goodness. Whose idea was that? Don't tell me. Well, I've got to go, Uncle Mort. Hurry him up a little, won't you, Judge? Hurry, hurry, hurry. You think this wedding was being put on by a family of trained dispatchers. What are you doing, Hooker? Just checking over a few last things. Did you remember to send the brides bouquet? Yes, Horace. I sent the brides bouquet. That's good. What'd you say? Daisy's. Daisy's? Mercyful Heavens, gildishly. What was the idea of sending her daisies? They were all out of geraniums. Geraniums would have been worse. Geraniums happened to be her favorite flower. She told me so. Yeah, but she wouldn't want to get married in them. Judge, I could get myself arrested. Maybe I could rob a bank. The banks are all closed now. Oh, yeah. There must be some way to get in jail. Excuse me, Mr. Gilson. You case your socks. Oh, thank you, Bertie. Loyal to the last. Thank you, Mr. Gilson. And if I don't see you again before you're married, I wish you all the happiness in the world. Thank you, Bertie. Thank you. Come on, guilty. Come on. Get your shoes on now. All right. Oh, throughout Morton, there's one other little matter. It's customary for the best man to pay the minister. All right. Go ahead and pay him. Don't bother me with details. Yeah, but the groom always provides the money. What? You put the fee in a little envelope with Dr. Needham's name on it, I hand it to him. Oh, no, you don't, Hooker. I wasn't born yesterday. Now, don't be a stubborn jackass. It's just to save you embarrassment at a time when you'll have your hands full. If you'd rather give him the envelope yourself, go ahead. Well, how much do I put in the envelope? Oh, the usual amount. Well, what is the usual amount? Well, I don't know. I believe it's just whatever you think the minister deserves for marrying you. I'll have to give him more than that, judge. Well, maybe $10. Well, hi, judge. How's the bridegroom coming along? Well, well, little Leroy. Little Leroy. Come here, my boy. Leroy, it's nice to see you dressed up for a change. Thanks, Hong. Same to you. Stick your shirt tail in. Yes. Well, won't be long now, my boy. No, won't be long now. You've got to stick together, my boy. After all, we're the men of the family. That's right, Hong. Leroy, you remember that old haunted house? Yeah. What if we sneaked out there right now and you tied me up with a lot of ropes and left me there till this thing blows over, huh? That's a great idea. We could go out. All right, Gildy. No more of that. Go on, get out of here, Leroy. Your uncle's got a lot of things on his mind. What's that? That's the taxi I ordered to take us to the church. Come on, Gildy. We're late now. But, judge. Hurry up, Gildy. Taxis cost money. But, Horace. Gilder, sleep. What on earth are you doing? I'm looking for my good luck piece. Oh, I can't find my good luck piece. Never mind it. Let go of me, Horace. I can't go without my good luck piece. I mean, remember. But I'm supposed to do more. Just stand here, Throckmore. Here? Yes. And when Lila gets here, you and she walk side-by-side up the steps and stand in front of Dr. Needham. Way up there? Of course. Where will you be, Horace? I'll be right behind you, old boy. Now, here comes Lila. Go on up. Too... Slowly, Lila. Taxis! Well, I... Oh! We are gathered here in the presence of this company to join together this man and this woman in holy matters. We'll be joined together. Let him now speak, or else hereafter forever hold his peace. Hmm! Martin, will thou have this woman to be thy wedded wife to live together and hold... I'll make you pardon, doctor, just one moment, please. Who's that? A soldier. I happen to be this lady's husband. And I never felt better in my... It was a narrow squeak for me, wasn't it, folks? Good old bull-regard. This is our last broadcast this season, but we'll return again in just eight weeks. Before saying goodbye, we want to thank you for all the Sunday evenings you've given us and the nice letters you've written us. We want to thank our sponsors, the Kraft Cheese Company, for their sympathetic understanding and cooperation. And we want to give the credit to all the members of the Gillisley family, whom you have come to know over the past year. Shirley Mitchell, who plays Leela, Lorraine Tuttle as Marjorie, Lillian Randolph, who plays Birdie, Walter Tetley, who plays Leroy, Earl Ross, who plays Judge Hooker, Ben Alexander as Bashful Ben, and Richard Legrand, our Mr. Peavey. Thanks, too, to Claude Sweeten for his excellent music and three low bows to our writers, John Whedon and Sam Moore, and to our chief, the producer, Cecil Underwood. Good night, everybody. Have a pleasant summer. This is Ken Carpenter speaking for the Kraft Cheese Company. We hope you'll be listening. When the great Gillisley returns again, the end of August at the same time and over these same places. Homemakers, I want to tell you about something that's a point saver, a time saver, and a money saver all in one. It's Kraft Dinner, the product that gives you swell macaroni and cheese in just seven minutes cooking time. The package that serves four takes just one red ration point and a cost per serving is only a few cents. Does all this sound too good to be true? Well, get one of those yellow and blue packages of Kraft Dinner. See how the special Kraft Dinner macaroni cooks fluffy tender just in boiling water. See how the Kraft grated in every box lets you whisk cheese goodness through and through that fluffy macaroni. Then listen to the folks compliment you on that speedy macaroni and cheese. If company's coming, you might mold that hot macaroni and cheese into a ring and serve it with a little cream meat or fish or vegetables. You see Kraft Dinner is an all-round wartime meal helper. It can help you stretch other foods. So look for it at your food store. Look for Kraft Dinner. This program has come to you from Hollywood. This is the National Broadcasting Company.