 You know it should never have happened. It's your sister So get rid of it You wanted my advice get rid of it. Do you understand? Do you know what I'm saying? We live man One place Michael's basement Welcome to episode number 20 thrice of the Marty and Michael flea actual podcast and Fuck me. We are fucking stressed little boys at the moment We got a lot going on a lot going on over the last few days. You might notice we're covered in some welts That's because that's not even gonna be out on the website yet. If you're listening to this, okay? Let's just address this first. We do some of those groundbreaking science that we have done Happened this is up there with the fucking saving the starving world. Yeah, so you know that myth Does pineapples and pineapple juice make your jizz taste better? Well We we can't tell we're not gonna give you we're not we're certainly not gonna offer that information up willing nearly Yeah, but it is out on the website right now if you want to that's all we're gonna say about that Okay, and oh, but we'll pull hint in there. Let's just say that Julian was involved heavily Heavily involved probably the main he was the one who organized it. Yeah, he was the one pushing for this heart He's been pushing it for months Begging us to film this really weird that he well, he wasn't really filming this one. No, no. Yeah, exactly Julian was was co-star with with Michael and this one Anyway, I was doing all the science background. That's enough. We've already said too much Okay, but if you want to know if that is actually a myth or if it's confirmed I don't know go and have a look at the fucking website. All right You can sign up for free so you don't need to pay you can just watch it and then cancel your subscription All right, but if you like the videos on there, you can stay and watch and support us. It helps us So that's why I mean spot. Oh, that's one of our spots and main sponsor man Yeah, you know what I fucking mean come on and our other sponsor is of course man Scape if you want any mail grooming products go to man scape.com and use the discount code fully actual 20 for 20% off of everything that you fucking buy can't all right you buy a hundred dollars worth of shit Oh, you need a new fucking razor. It's good. First of all second of all you get $20 off If you spend the hundred dollars because that's what 20% is It's good man. It's good shit shaving over my wounds visit manscaped comm Okay, have a look at some of this shit because it's shit that you don't even know is invented yet that they have on there All right, they've got a new ball trimmer. They've got a brand new up 4.0 or some shit the lawnmower or whatever I don't know. It's something point. It's fucking cool something point. I shaved again the other day. Yeah, I Didn't cut once fucking out man. It's gay roll But anyway, we're quite stressed at the moment. We've just we got contacted by paramount You know the movie guys the guys in making jackass for there's jackass for the movies coming out It's good jackass forever. Yeah jackass forever, but it's the fourth instalment of jackass They want us to do a promo video for jackass which is like fucking well like fuck. Yes Thank you for reaching out, but the problem is they want it done by like next Tuesday and We also have to make another Ned's fucking brand deal video for the Olympics which start next week Which we need to film tomorrow and the next day and we also need to continue making podcasts website content and social media shit In the meantime, so we're quite flustered Hence why and we're starting a charity giveaway. It's going right now. By the way, it started Last week last Friday, so by the time you're listening to this you can buy some fucking raffle tickets Look at our Instagram look at our Facebook page and the all pros will proceeds go to fucking charity. Okay Prediction this is like double the prize is double the amount of money of the last one So it's double is worth double. Yeah, you get to either pick a holiday or a fucking brand new lounge room with You know like fucking that couch in that fucking lounge room Yeah, all sick furniture like a fucking little man cave cunt if you want that or a fucking holiday You can you choose if you win you can choose between those two prizes and your choice It's even better than the last one and since hence, okay since we've got all this shit that we're juggling That's why you might have realized we don't have or last week We didn't have the link for our only fans. We have that much shit going on But we don't want to just start the only fans and have nothing there for you guys to see So what we're gonna do, okay? It might take a couple more weeks. This will happen. Okay, this will happen It's just gonna take time We're gonna go on a photo shoot day get all sexy Maybe a bit drunk and tipsy blackout see what happens and then we're gonna have all these photos backed up Maybe some videos maybe some other fucking back That's where we can put something about later and have it ready for you guys to go Then when you go there you have some shit to watch So we want to put like the failed prank calls because there are some that Heaps of shit in the heaps are just behind the scene stuff eventually as well So we don't want to fucking half ass. It's not just gonna be sexy shit. It's gonna be very podcast related So we bit of sex. So when we film the podcast, this is our day Okay, so Matt's finished a full massive hard normal day at work We've been fucking doing dumb shit film and admin fucked up shit So Matt rocks up at 430 takes about half an hour to set up We we got to five then we take about an hour and a half to film. Okay, that takes us to 630 We've got shit, too. I'm gonna get home to the family. There's still more work to do after we're fucked I've got the golly bottle. We've got the golly bottle. I gotta make me top in that up artifacts and shit, so At the moment, we don't have the half an hour spare to set up the fucking only I know it seems ridiculous But we're just fucking when Matt rocks up It's just like go go go go punch the podcast out and we fuck off and like we do have that time But we don't want to set it up and have nothing there for you So we're gonna have it like a photo shoot day where we back up heaps of shit So yeah, so sorry that we said the only fans would be out but by now But it's just it's just something that we want to make sure it's good So it's not just fucking and we think we're thinking about making it free to begin with okay And this isn't just going to be like pushing it back pushing that we're gonna fucking actually do this Yeah, don't worry. Don't stress just takes time. We're very busy. Hopefully who knows by the time This is episodes out it might be up might be up by the following week tonight, but it's gonna fucking happen I can't believe that we're living in a possible world right now where we there's a possibility that we might be declining Doing a fucking video for Jack asked for like there's no time as a kid if I got told yeah one day You'll probably decline doing some promo for them. It's like what the fuck I'd be like that's that's bullshit because the other issue we have we don't know what to fucking like we're like We we sat down we're trying to brainstorm for ideas But everything that we came up with oh that'll be deleted from social media that'll be deleted from social media So because social media is so fucking pussy now We don't even want to fucking Send them our ideas because it'll be so fucking PG and we don't want to You know like it's jackass, you know, you don't come up to the table and say oh, we're gonna Have a water fight. It's got to be something hardcore We're going to recreate some of the stunts from the first couple of movies But yeah, you can't post that on social media deleted. Hey, you thought about going through all their stunts and see what would not be Deleted I know that sounds funny, but There are some stunts that wouldn't that wouldn't be deleted. Oh my god. I think I just thought of something Bring me the golly bottle If you don't want to fucking see it because I know there's so many people that don't yeah Just skip this part. We're gonna have it on the table, but all right. So it's getting Fuck me. It's getting full. It's like layers from last week. It's like 80 full and eventually sinks down I come here in the mornings and michael has a glass on the table like like, you know Like a fifth full and then i'm like, oh, what are you doing with that? And he said so he spits into a glass so that he doesn't have to open the bottle every time because the smell Is unbearable then he adds the glass golly. I think we said this before yeah Man, it is fucking intense. Anyway, I think I might have just thought of a jackass idea just then Skull vis You would die. Oh my god, man. Like I just can't there is this is not good for you. That's hence why it's out of me Oh, look at it at the bottom. Yeah, look twist it Anyway, I can't fucking look at it anymore. Let's put it down I can't even look at its own little atmosphere. It's an artifact. It's a sacred art zone environment. Anyway What I was gonna say is we also discussed beforehand That if this podcast like we got to do something with michael's experiment here, okay If this podcast gets three k likes, okay? We usually get like 700 or something if this podcast gets 3000 likes Michael's gonna have a attempt to have a shot of the gollypon I'll try but like I I can't guarantee that that's gonna go down I'll keep it in my mouth and swirl it round. Just yeah, just see what see what it is. See what it's like Okay, I guarantee I'm gonna be gagging so hard just watching you do that And like I don't really want to do that but if it gets three k likes, that's good, right? That's good effort. That would push the podcast help us out. I know someone will ask this question, but What about flies? There's one coming out. Oh, yeah, there's dead flies in there. Well flies are just flies, right? Yeah, exactly, bro flies are just flies Also, wait for the very end of this podcast. We're making a little bit of an announcement Okay at the very ends after the prank call It is literally a secret. We used to be ashamed of it, but now we're fucking proud of it. Yeah, look That's all we're gonna say on that right now. Okay, but just Wait to the end and then we talk about a little bit more. Okay Okay, I agreed. Anyway, that's all the fucking housekeeping shit done, right? Is that everything now? Oh, yeah, we've spoken about the weeks fucking how busy we yeah, it's like fucking crazy right now Bang my body's fucked your body's fucked. Yeah, we went and put my back Matt's back is fucked from toca. We went and filmed paintball video today and paintballs Yeah, they really I don't want to show you guys because it's fucking it's meant for the video So I don't want to show you the damage. I don't know if we're gonna see this is the thing We probably can't put that one out on social media. We'll try but if it looks too graphic Yeah, no fucking way because our fucking pages are gonna lead a lot of blood so much blood But yeah, anyway, that will be guaranteed on the website and look it's for free for three weeks If you want to see that so it's up to you, but I don't yeah, that'll be out in two weeks time, I think Yeah, um, I had a little housekeeping one. Um, I had the uh, one of our fans passed away. Oh, yeah Fucking heard about this. What was her name? Um, I believe her name is jamie lee downing scofield jamie lee downing scofield We hear you're jamie scofield. You're a big you're a big fan. You love darnal funny even sent some shit in I believe she sent us a plaque. I could be wrong But I believe she sent us the plaque her memory will live on in this and she was a proper ringworm She wasn't she was a fucking fan So we will miss you jamie And fucking we'll see you in the next life. It will see you next time, brother And thank you for all your support. Yeah, and for the that's staying there. That's staying there forever I'm pretty sure she sent it to it. She said, um, you know, I hope you the arnold fine was from me I hope you boys like it and if you want arnold fine to do the eulogy Just let me know Yeah, it's arnold fine And I guess yeah great to public speaker. Hmm. Are you speak a lot to a high school? English assignment So he can come and deliver a eulogy if you want Yeah, well, if the friends do want that just let us know because I don't know if it's a bit might be weird Yeah, it might be a bit like but like if you know, they're chill and you think that she'd love that Let us know, but yeah arnold fine will come out all on second thoughts It's probably if the people if the family is there and they've never listened to the podcast They'd be like, what the fuck yeah, but you gotta think about what she wants. Yeah, okay Anyway, shut up to jamie shout out to jamie. So yeah guys with we're fucking stressed super busy at the moment But we're just trying to fucking get everything done. So just excuse our Elevated stress levels. All right, it's a fucking busy time of year It's like seven things all just banged into us all at once and just rip the guts out straight down our fucking gala Yeah, it's been I'm tired anyway I hear there are some time let's pop Here we go. Let's fucking have some fun. Let's talk some shit What I've been seeing a lot of comments Love in the comments guys. Keep them fucking coming. Remember if you can't support us in any other way like the video Especially this one because if it gets to 3k remember, he's gonna do attempt to do a shot of the goalie book But um I've seen a lot of comments people saying fucking. Um, they want the segment name changes back You've seen that too, man. Yeah a couple one every now and then Look if you got if that's what the people want like I always say they might return one day Yeah, yeah, look they might the segment now. I thought I was getting they were getting a bit repetitive and shit So I just sort of they just faded out but look If Matt if you want to start renaming the segments, just let us know in the comments guys Look if if there's enough comments demanding that the segment renaming comes back. Yeah, we'll do that for you. Okay I didn't even think it was like that funny after a while anymore. You know, well, it's hard to make so Yeah, you got you got to the point where I was like, holy shit. I gotta keep coming up We've got to keep coming up with these and people were like, oh every time you yell that like hurts my ears And oh fuck off. Sorry, man All right, let's get into some diary entries, Matt I'm engaged. I thought we're gonna stop them No, Matt, this will never end. Do you understand me? Never ever is this ending? What happened to that? Oh, that's my table. It doesn't matter That's what I think of that idea All right Oh, oh, you're as far too comfortable far too comfortable touching that I don't have any fucking cleaning things Oh, so you just rub whatever you spill into the Dude, did I tell you dude? I told you the other day I was topping up my my artifact and golly bottle And as it was going in like half of it went in and then the like the real watery shit seeped out And then a bit of fucking artifact fell off and it went into the the rug Guess what I did rubbed it in just rubbed it in straight foot, right? I couldn't like I'm not picking that up. I can lie down on your floor ever again I think you were just lying down there before see I always lie with both. Yeah, but yeah I just yeah, anyway Anyway, all right times. I am found these diary entries when I was um quite high the other night So I can't even really remember what I wrote. Let's see what high Marty come up with I mean found in the diaries. Yeah Direction number 180 from Michael Corey Brookhouse Today I ate two liters of blue ice cream I was hungry and thirsty and ice cream is like in the middle of food and drink I had a funny feeling in my tummy after and I knew something incredible was happening I bent over and sprayed my arse nectar against my favorite tree I turned and saw that my bum jam was bright blue. I ran my hand through the puddle to gather more information It was quite hot and sticky, but still looked exactly like the blue ice cream This is one of the best things that has ever happened to me And that is a fucking true fucking story That's fuck What's the flavor bubblegum flavor or something from cold rock? It would have the biggest tub you can fucking get Might have a lunch and he down the whole thing on the car ride home Just sitting in the back scooping the blue ice cream and stuffing it down his gullet neck And then when he got home, he's Dude, I spelled it. I sent every like if we're put in the group chat So many people pissed off with the blue poo. Yeah. It was fucking nasty shit, man But yeah, you can Shit blue if you eat bubblegum ice cream There you go. It's a fucking more science done there. I think it's important that people know that Because I never would I think oh, it just gets digested or I'm over the bubblegum flavor now It was more in my younger years. That was like my early 20s. I never got onto it And I don't think I will it is a fucking good flavor two liters though Bubblegum and I'd mix white chocolate through it Little marshmallows. Oh now it's yeah, I'm getting the taste for it. Yeah, I can see why I enjoyed that But yeah, that's fucking true the tree part not the blue poo, but I have shadow on a lot of trees Yeah, anyway, all right, time to your number 99 from marty Today I went to ride my bike home and saw that the tires had been slashed I heard some kids snickering and looking over and thought it must have been them I unlocked my bike and started wheeling at home, which takes five hours I was pushing my bike up a very steep hill when I heard someone spit and felt something hit my the back of my neck The kids had followed me for a bit and then spat on me I turned around and apologized and offered them my wallet They snatched it from me and told me that I was a germ man It was a pretty good day Oh Man, I'd love to let love to see what your fucking shit days are like Your shit days must suck. I love to see animated Marty Dary just to see what he's going through the facial Oh, he's so cute how he reads it. You can just imagine him as a little boy Just not not many things not sure it tucked in with their suspenders on high pants Yeah, like probably like one school uniform and his holes in it like he had fuck or food Hand me downs from my brother Robert There's a fucking hole in his room where the water comes in when it rains. It's just a hole. It's just no roof I think you had it rough dude. You had it so rough Oh Diary entry number 69 Julian James Tennyson Woods from Ashgrove for 60 till I die Today, I didn't have any money, but I really wanted this. Um What's it called? Like out of that bum bag Mom kept saying no, so I told her I would fuck her unless she bought it for me Then she bought the bum bag for me. See I'm the king of manipulation because I got what I wanted by threatening to fuck my mom I have so many awesome manipulation tactics like that a ha ha you Once I even fucked a cheek because I told her I would leak her nudes if she didn't ha ha you She kept saying that that's blackmail, but it was just straight-up manipulation by the king of manipulation. Ha ha ha. Yeah me Julian does like to brag about his manipulation tactics. I have heard that Oh master manipulator as you can hear Anyway, my beautiful Yulia. All right, here we go Matt Brown. Oh, this is your formal from your formal Matt Oh No, oh diary number Diary entry number 882 from Matthew Gregory Brown I sat in my mother's car and took one last big breath It was time for me to attend my school formal I was going alone, but new opportunities would present themselves I had a few sleeping tablets in my wallet in case I became anxious I said goodbye to my mom. I lent in and kissed her on the lips She tried to pull away, but I had my hand on the back of her neck and held her in position I passionately felt around her mouth with my tongue while my other hand gripped her breasts I pulled away and let go and she looked disgusted, but I smiled and got out of the car uncomfortably erect I entered the school formal and immediately found a dark corner to observe from I watched all the people dancing together and felt nothing but hate Everyone should be dancing with me Why wasn't I dancing with a girl? I was muttering insults under my breath and when a girl approached me Do you want to dance? She asked I froze not sure if I'd heard correctly my nipples stiffened so hard They began to crack dance with me. I asked cautiously Yeah, I always see you alone around school and thought maybe you would like to dance She continued I felt brown mints churning in my testicle bag No girl had ever spoken to me unless it was to insult me and I had no idea how to handle this Made me like to dance. I nodded. She looked a little confused but smiled and beckoned me to the dance floor I'd never danced before and I was full of nervous energy. We got to the dance floor and she started moving her hips from side to side I stood sweating staring at her. Come on. Just relax. She yelled over the musely Completely involuntarily my hands shot forwards and fastened tightly onto her tits or my hips started thrusting forwards quickly The girl panicked and she started screaming trying to push me away The grip I had on her tits was far too strong my grip tightened and I felt her breast tissue breaking apart in my hands She kept screaming and I was frantically trying to She kept screaming and was frantically trying to free herself I came brown mints gushed from my little brown and straight into my nappy The relief loosened my hands and I released her I noticed the formula had stopped and everyone was staring at us The girl was still screaming and people started advancing on me I faced my back to the closest window and started bounding backwards towards it I bound it backwards over some tables and bounded backwards straight through the window The last thing I saw was that girl clutching her mangled tits and more brown mints squirted from within me I bounded backwards up the street and kept going all the way up to the mountains My plan was to hide there for a few days while my while I calmed to my sex organs Who knew my formal would turn into one of the best nights of my life? I fucking knew once they got to the dance floor that you were gonna say That he grabbed her tits or that matt grabbed her tits. It's becoming predictable. I'm seeing a pattern Oh, man. Imagine grabbing a breast and feeling the breast tissue just crumble under your grip Why would you tell everyone that memory? Because it's in your diary matt Oh What the fuck would happen like that is ruin the breast like could you fuck the breast up? Oh, yeah, you could you can imagine it'd be like someone like like do that to a bicep Well, if you are if you were aggressively is it a muscle? It's a muscle. It's breast tissue. Yes You could easily like like squish Muscle breast tissue will not easily it would take some intense rage power Yeah, do you reckon? Okay, the right because obviously if it's not the right size breast it'd be hard to do But the right sized breast to your hand. Do you reckon you could rip a breast off? Yeah, anything is possible It's like Like just picture like a bowl of mints when you You know when you when you have a bowl of mints and you you mush it with your hand It's like that except harder to do and that's what it would feel like Mangling a tip. Oh, dude. It would hurt We should do it for a video. We should tie our breasts to a car and drive the car off at 100 kilometers an hour This comes straight off count and then we get an eye in To see the wounds closed And then we we just be flat chested man. We're breastless Yeah, get implants to fix it It's a new one Oh, it's too much It's too much Yuck man, come on Enough It's like a distressed cheek there. It's too much. All right Fuck okay, that was some good diary entries. Yeah, all right. Let's move straight along You guys have plenty of questions and if you want us to answer your question All we got to do is go to our youtube channel fully actual Marty mock fully actual Comment your question and we read out the ones who get the most likes Okay, and if we don't read it out, let's try again the next week Okay, just keep commenting and have a read through see which questions you want us to answer give them a like man Fuck's easy shit, man. Shit It's too much. It's too much for me It's too much for me. Oh, let's make some All right, dude Oh, should we oh, we've got some Should we have a quick um, oh, maybe she maybe Is all the hard bits done now. Oh, yeah, okay This is our reward and we can get a bit freaky-weaky. Matthew. Can you get that huge container full of marijuana? Huge container. There's no marijuana. Well, what do you mean? The drug dealer arrived right before we started filming. What's his name? No, we can't have it on screen because it's like a box of this big commercial quantity Where the There is a vape Our vape that we sell If you want a vape go to cut n dot com c ut n dot com dot au Buy one of these vapes very good. They're very good. They're quite expensive though, but they're worth it All right, we're going look just just then we had a I got an email right from paramount I want to read this to you guys because it's quite exciting. It's from the jackass Guys, okay, so from paramount. So I emailed just before and said oh look we want to recreate some of the jackass stunts But we don't think it's fit for social media. So this is her reply Hey, Marty's no worry at all No worries at all appreciate you coming back to us on this We really love this idea and this is something that would be great to work with you on Further within the campaign to give us some more time to really make a fun piece of content We've just got word from our uk team that to celebrate the trailer launch They are having some people physically launch the trailer in a rocket So just wanted to circle back to see how you could work how we could work with you to launch the trailer too So that could be like if we fucking just do some science Shit in with jackass and launch something launch what the trailer like a Like an actual try obviously that's what they're doing But we don't know we could launch something else as mentioned We would be keen to work with you guys throughout the campaign for the film and are happy to workshop ideas Such as the reenactment of stunts for future beats We're also currently looking ahead to what we can do with the talent of the film johnny stevo etc So if you have any early ideas of how you could collab with them Feel free to shoot them through and we can start these conversations with our la team Fuck that's a door and a half if we get some good ideas down and we make a good fucking video Man, imagine if they invited us to collab with them Wow That's like childhood dream tick So now you see the stress guys. We have to come up with a fucking banger idea amidst everything else that's going on Okay That'll help That is so true. Anyway on with the questions All right, first question is from ryan fernan. I doubt it. What's his real name? Fernandez. Thank you. Oh, somebody by the way, somebody pointed out that I fuck up the last names a lot Yeah, I do And hey, whoa, whoa, they weren't being mean No, no, I made a joke about it. I got me laughing But yes, I do apologize for all the last names that I stuff up and first names What's my last name then question for the podcast Marty, can you find some of your diary entries that you wrote in german? I couldn't write when I was a little boy. I was three and um When when I no, I never went to school in germany. So I never got taught how to read or write So I can only speak in here. Why are you giggling now? Why are you shit over there giggling at my german, huh? So I struggle to read and write okay, it's all self-taught the reading Yeah, so you can't read or write german I was self-taught So you are not even you're a half-ass german. I'm an illiterate german Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha There are Australians who can't read or write and they are no less Australian than other Australians Yeah, that's true. Yeah, okay. Yeah Sorry, dude. My bad Next question is from my brother Steve Brown This question is mainly aimed at Michael since Marty is happily engaged now Um Michael if you could if you could be with any girl, sorry bang any girl So be with any girl in the world. Who would it be? Who's your crush? Fuck Right now or all time. Yeah, because it charm with you it changes all time. Oh man I'm just gonna go off the top of my head and say Tash Sultana. Who's that? Who's that? Who's that? Who's that? She's just They're a sexy artist that plays music. She probably watches this man If someone knows her send that to her and then tell and then tell me and I'll DM her on behalf of Michael Let's set this up. Do you guys and me? Let's set this up for him. I'm pretty sure she asks the question Oh, wow. Oh, yeah, I guess definitely reply Tash Sultana, what about you man? Who would you slug? Who would you sling your guts into if you could fucking live them? Oh, there's so many you have to pick one five Uh, what's the girl? Um Fire out for her name doesn't matter now She's an actor who can't think of her name Oh, I had a huge crush on Mirsha Barton too when I was a boy Yeah, I was more of a Rachel Billson fan if we're going off the OC. Yeah No, Marissa was way hotter You just liked her because she got all fucked up in the end. Oh, yeah She turned into a corpse and you got attracted to that. Uh, and it can and a Kendrick. I like Anna Kendrick. Oh, yeah All right, sorry Sorry about that. Sorry about that. Yeah, sorry guys. Sorry Anna Sorry Palashay Next question is from James Byrne Um Would Michael ever shave his head for charity? Fuck no No way a lot of money Like we had to hand the charity we're working with we had to hand pick We might we'll check a lot of things because a lot of charities Especially a lot of big ones if let's just say you donate a you donate a hundred dollars 40 of those dollars will go to the people in need 60 goes to admin fees Yeah, like fucked up. You got to be careful when you when you're donating to charities Don't just donate willy-nilly thinking. Oh, someone's going to get all my money. No Um, there's a follow-up question there saying um the week after we I'm sorry, Michael shaves his head Marty, uh, couldn't make it a wig and wear it on the book Oh, man, that would be so like sexy, man. I love that. Oh, we'd be so close. Don't touch me We'd be so close then I'd shave my head and sew it on to mine And we'd swap identities Oh, I nearly snapped this man Don't fire me up like that man. I nearly snapped this in half, can't I? Oh, we're right on the air jay We're bozzled even sad up. Can't you better sit up Oh, he did too He's just checking to make sure I'm not losing my shit Bosley does this thing where if I'm getting angry or frustrated Within the first 10 seconds of me being like for fuck's it like getting usually something computer technique technical related He'll just quickly run over and just start standing on me and lick me to try and calm me down Dude, it's so cute. He's a he did it today just before Very good. Next question is from sexy tuner legs Marty, how's your heart anomaly slash heart attack doing? Um, it's I don't feel my I've changed a lot of things in my in my diet and um, I don't I don't feel the The And I don't feel the the skipping of the beat as much anymore. So I'm not really it's it's sort of like Out of my mind right now. So the the car. I don't even know if I talked about this cardiologist said you got six months to get Blood pressure down. Otherwise you're going on medication. So, um, I haven't even been checking it Yeah, fuck. Well, but you haven't had the heart man. It doesn't it feels like it's less intense So I feel like I don't like I'm not always thinking about it because I don't feel my heart just going Fuck that would be scary and like so I'm not feeling that but the other night after talker at dinner Yeah, my heart was going fucking crazy really so after exercise. I don't know it's always half at dinner after talker Maybe the combination of like exercising and then eating like fucking high salt foods or something I don't know. It just does something to me. Shit. See if there's anything food related brings it on. Yeah, but anyway So yeah, it's fucking it's to be continued. I guess but look the cardiologist wasn't that worried about it So I'm just gonna like I'll be fine. I'll I'm just gonna fucking get Through this I'm just gonna get get over it. It'll be gone soon I'm just gonna concentrate and fix it the mind heals more than you think exactly right cunt Next question. Marty. Where do you get all your wigs from? Uh, oh, nicky. You beautiful girl. Thank you. Nicky one of our, uh, Fucking legend fans. She yeah, this is one of hers. She said yeah, this was one. She you know that massive box Last week that we opened. There's a like fucking how many wigs 10 10 There's a bunch. Yeah, and we went and bought a few when we visited a costume stop the other day and bought a bunch more So like I'm fucking set. Can I you'll never see my real hair again? Can't Too much too much, man I'm like so high right now and is look over in eye contact with that psycho Like dad It's psycho path Um, I've seen this question come up a few times so I might as well just get it out and done with but um Blue Swift asked, uh, would you guys ever try doing your own human centipede experiment? No, yeah, no, it's a bit like I couldn't put my lips around the fucking asshole There's no way you do my asshole and you got eating. You got the front Oh Man, I would feel bad for him having to eat do that put Jackson in the middle. What if put Jackson in the middle he What if we we sewed some kind of rubber tubing to our lips and then sewed the rubber lips to the other person's ass Wait, wait, wait, wait now Now we're cooking and the tubing's clear so you can see the shit. It's it's not Gross because you're not kissing the ass. Yeah, well exactly the only thing I'm worried about now because This is happening in my mind right now. Like I'm convinced we're doing this next week I'm fucking sold We get clear tubing, right? The sewing part's gonna hurt Okay, but only thing I'm worried about is if Because it's most likely let's be honest. I'm probably gonna have like I put my mouth the other end Dude wait, what the this is how is this how we're gonna just go with it now If you fart and I'm swallowing all your farts Am I gonna die for that because you just exhale it through your nose. Is that bad like you like, you know how like If you fucking smell shit, you can get high and it's like poisonous Am I gonna get high and like you need a lot because like even when you go to a public toilet It stinks. You guys happy. They're thinking about oh, yeah And but like what would be the experiment odd is is uh, can humans be centipedes? Yeah, we'd have to fucking think about that. Oh, yeah, because it's such a fucking topic movie. Everyone talks about it. Of course, it's possible Of course, it's possible Can you live like that for a week though? I don't know We'll have to see and I would have to like I'd have to swallow all the food as whole as I could So that you you're getting some nutrients What was I just what was I just about to what was I just talking about uh the nutrients Yeah, so I'd have to swallow food whole and I'd also have to drink a lot of water And take some like diarrhea tablets so that you're getting all of the liquid It's not absorbing into only my body, but it's doable We could bring out the cobs of corn again, and then I get all the corn I can have proper meals for you, man This is for meals. Okay, like yeah, this is possible. I hated that. It's gonna be painful though Yeah, just sewing. Oh Oh, yeah, yeah sewing the rubber to your lips super glue the thing to you and also I prefer to super glue And also sewing it to my ass the ass will also that would be so painful now I'm involved. So you super glue the thing to the asshole No, it's super glue and then you super glue the face bit to the to your face one of you's gonna have to take super glue to the face Oh, man, I need to shave. Oh, what if I start throwing up? I can't yeah, I know I'd choke Oh, you know, I'd have to get over you. We'd spread your asshole and you'd have to take my vomit to save my life You could try and read redirect it out of your nose No, you we'd have an emergency situation where we'll be able to cut it Oh, yeah, we just cut the ringworm in the middle. Oh, no, then yeah, then we know it's not possible Yeah, and that means if the experiment failed. No, that just means I'm weak. I was being weak and vomiting I was being I'm sorry guys. Who's next Matthew Brown Uh, Shannon fleet, um, it's actually more of a statement. He goes if I die young I would like a podcast to be recorded at my funeral For oh, man. That's such a cool thing to say. I can't believe someone thinks that but thank you Very least a passage from the diary of Matthew Gregory Brown as it is my eulogy. Oh my god. Imagine that Um, next question is from Tom Sheba, I'll probably fucking pronounce it wrong. Yeah, you did it's shabar coaching Um, what jobs did you have before becoming legendary social media artists? Oh another question ties in with this that I got sent so We used to be tennis coaches Was that the one you gave me? Yeah. Oh, fuck. It's literally down the list. So that's okay. I'm just gonna add it to this I'll shout her out though. So if we our old jobs were tennis coaching I used to work at Woolworth's for a bit. I was at worked at a bar briefly um tennis coaching for nearly everything and then fucking Ubering as well as an illegal job that I had that I can't talk about one day if I and if I wasn't doing this Fuck, I don't know where I'd be. I probably still be tennis coaching. No, woolly's was long gone Tennis coaching was yeah after that I thought you stuck around. Yeah, I do like one shift for a bit of extra cash Or I really Did the money shit enjoy uber driving because of the the people side of it Yeah, I reckon um, I I'd still be there isn't even if we I'd still just be trying to make it in making videos I'd still just be even if we still hadn't earned a cent from making. Oh, yeah I'd still be trying and yeah, I'd probably be fucking but if you had to do a different job I'd be yeah, so the follow-up question from jemma mcdonald was um If you had to choose a full-time job now What would you choose? Probably like I don't know a forensic analysis in a in an it department of some sort of defense force or something I don't know. I'd utilize my science skills specific at all. I would New hobbies come back to I fucking love it again tennis. I want to I'd be a profession. Yeah, we are playing some tennis again All right, it's fucking I forgot. I can't believe I dissed it. I'm so sorry tennis. Yeah, michael loves tennis now And I'd always say to him of these like why do you hate it so much like I get that it was shit teaching it They're like it's fun to watch because you understand how hard it is what they're doing first of all And second of all, it's fun to play because we're good Fuck it. Anyway, I'd be professional tennis player next question. I'd be an engineer at a law firm You can have engineers at law firm. Yeah, they do soon. They do that soon Next question is from squizzy taylor Um Mark, would you clean the outside of the golly bottle after it restocks? He does not No, that's with the spill that happened went all over the bottle people have been. Oh, yeah You guys have been touching it. Sorry about that But it's sort of funny now. Oh, what did you do? It just spills around the edge You've upset me in my hands Fuck me, man. I've been sucking on my fingers hard the whole time. I've been picking my nose Oh, fuck. There you go a little prank next question is from militia men militia man. Yeah, it is militia men Um marty, um, how did you and manique meet? Oh my god Oh, well, this is are you gonna get into it? I don't know if she'll if I'm allowed to say it I um met I met mon like 10 years ago Because my ex-girlfriend's best friend was mon so like 10 years ago I met her and then we didn't um and then we didn't see each other or talk for fucking years and years and years and then Like at the end of 2018 I just saw her where she was working and I was like I said to michael I had that fucked haircut at the time too that fucking old man the pedophile haircut I had a hat on though and I was like I have to go and talk to her I was there Walked out and then and then just fucking started messaging her and then How did the number exchange happen again? It was just I know we started messaging on instagram Good on instagram saves the day. You don't have to it'd be too awkward the first time you see someone in such a long time to ask for their number I don't even know what like do you do people still ask for numbers or do they ask for instagram? Sometimes when I've been out and I've got the confidence after drinking Then you'll ask for numbers, but I don't just go up to someone at the shops That's a bit weird, isn't it? No, I don't think so unless in kmart It depends. How are you doing today? It depends the intensity in your eyes Yeah, I guess I don't know you don't want to give off a rape vibe next question The solution 41 is more of a suggestion. He said, um, have you boys thought about doing water bomb roulette with a golly bottle? water bomb Water bomb roulette. What's that? He suggested 10 water bomb. Oh, like fill water balloons with it One filled with a golly bottle and then we drop it on each edge Everyone takes a shot. You pick a number and it gets dropped on your head. That's not bad. That is not bad I'm writing that down. It's made the list. Oh, fuck me Oh Oh my god, I didn't really fucking throw up just thinking about that man He also said when the golly bottle is mentioned every time his throat closes and so I was a disgust Literally, but you have to try because you can talk about it without thinking about it at times Water bomb roulette. That's not bad. That's really good with the golly bottle Interesting. Um Next question is from Corrie Will you guys be changing the desk up for season four? Probably let's get it. We should get a curved one So we're gonna have guests and shit. Yeah Oh, we get a curve. Yeah, maybe we can all fit on there Yeah, yeah, Matt could fucking be smack bang in the middle but on a much lower chair So you can only see Dude, that's Matt is going to start with a very small chair. So his head is just over the desk And then as the season progresses we can buy him more and more Until he you can't even see Fucking on a stool fucking head on the fucking ceiling Oh Michael there's a guy at my work named Michael and he um the other day he tried to get me to To pop my head over the like the the wall of my desk and he's he put an egg on the other next side to see If they look the same No, you drew a little beard on eggs like not an egg shape. No, it's more head shaped. Yeah, you're lucky eggs don't have jaw lines Remember Zena that was her fucking laugh Imagine doing that before you go into a brawl. Can't imagine some UFC fight You fucking turn around and look it out of state Anyone can go back to when he first was doing that laugh and look into his eyes They fully just left like an MDMA they exit my body can't Oh Okay, oh man, um, I'm so high Oh, I've been smoked in a couple claims Um Dude, how does that that worked out like fucking poetry? um Last question is from crumble crumb juice tv Crumb juice tv Um question from Michael. Are you scared if converse shoes ever go out of fashion you have them permanently on your feet? Oh, man, I don't think they will they've been around since what the 60s Yeah, and crocs are shit and they were like rad then they're rad now They were bibles like basketball shoes at one point dude. They skate shoes at everything shoes. I've got crocs in there. Shit No one likes crocs Yeah, crocs are definitely out. It's such a german thing to catch hand on your fucking feet Just these shit crocs on your feet And they look like like imagine if you were like a human frog. That's what your feet would look like frog Green fucking weed circles. It looks like you're sick Oh, I should have I got one more question frog Last question, whoo, it's from Miles Baca Hmm Marty Will the characters Arnold, Darren, Margaret, Dakota make an appearance at the wedding? Maybe Depends on our fucking dog Oh speaking of weddings One of our closest friends that fucking we've known for years Has let us be the mc. Yeah, he's asked us to be mc's at his wedding. We said That's what we said, but he still wants us to be mcs. Man That's so have you been an mc before? No, you just did your performance. Yeah, I'll play this through my head I'm thinking what if I get married one day? How am I gonna use the where am I gonna put them? But we'll have them up there next to me put us in Santa stockings just on the wall And have someone throwing us drinks and drugs That would be fine Oh, and we get microphones every hour for two minutes Big Santa stocking can't And we piss and shit you be pissing shit and all You should hire yourselves out for birthday parties with that exact thing You can put us on the wall and throw us drinks and drugs Microphone every two minutes He's totally relaxed Don't have to hold your own weight Oh, man Oh, welcome to the party. What's that on the wall? That's Marty and Michael We don't even talk to anyone. We're just inside our own head cackling Oh, man All right, that brings us to the end of the question segment and we're moving right along to um Well, let's open some gifts. Is it And up here box is fucking flooded with shit So if you've sent like letters and stuff we can see them. Oh But we're just trying to get through Because we're all boy you guys by opening fucking 20 things an episode So we're trying to spread them out and we will get to everything. Don't worry Okay, we're prioritizing the bigger gifts because we're under the impression that they'll be much cooler Yeah, big yeah better, right so And also speaking of po box we have a top fives list just to give people a good incentive to send us rad shit Wait, can I show everyone how big this thing is? So this is look at this someone sent us this Like that's fucking cool. It's like over a meter long. That's like a kid. It's could be a kid in there That could be a small corpse. Yeah so We've we've created a little list top five best things and our number one best thing was Can we fucking yeah, someone sent us Mary Janes and then someone sent us sleepy pills valium. No one eyes. Thank you That's number two. Number three is for some reason. We just decided the blood pressure machine. It's caring. It's caring Yeah, it's loving you guys love us four And I think this it's just special because it was the first disgusting thing we got sent and it was intent It was like a big hit of shit and yeah, fuck the house for a while. It did damage It was it was shit. I want to send a shit. That's a fourth rank fourth Yeah, poo and the fifth is Thanks to our mate who sent the sign because that's fucking that's helping the podcast out. Just to be clear We love everything that goes in like fucking everything. There's been like two things that was shit the gremlins Am I remembering that correctly? I like the gremlins right matt liked the gremlins, but michael and I hated the gremlins So aside from that and something else shit Everything else has been really awesome and the letters and shit keep them coming You want to send you shit? We open it live on the podcast, okay? Don't send any fucking more gremlins I think but I got a message saying that she accidentally sent them but um I just imagine that the the person who sent the gremlins is just some like Just nice fucking 10 year old boy Who just wanted to have still been gelating it And then we just destroyed him. This isn't the first time we bagged. It's been like three or four But anyway, yeah the gremlins were fucking shit. That was a dumb shit present Anyway, we're gonna open this monster first So these are slippers, right like they look like shoes, but they're slippers. So we got Nike shoes. We got We got one of these so it's perfect for winter which is it's winter here at the moment So it's fucking oh shit. Oh shit. So they're fucking beautiful And Band goods is the name of the place that sends them to us. So band goods if you want these Oh, you got it. Sweet. If you want to have a go at these they look fucking super comfy They feel very soft So it just slippers to walk around the house and it looks like you're wearing shoes. Are you wearing them that? Okay, what how are they? Matt's got on me. It looks fucking hilarious. They look massive band goods nyc So it must be like new york city. Yeah, there must be in new york city band goods nyc's the instagram Wow, they are fucking cool Yeah, I'm actually looking forward to wearing these a can't wait to see fucking mon's face. They should be like, what the fuck man Yeah, no, I think people like just let us we're worried guys that this is like the Really boring part of the podcast. That's just opening shit If you guys like this let us know in the comments, please Because if if we're the only ones getting a fucking buzz out of this We may as well just do it like on instagram live or something. You know what I mean? And yeah, like but it's hit and miss because sometimes you get fucking gremlins And then sometimes you get you get to see is gets we get sent what semen shit piss Yeah, period but those are the days where we're like nail clippings. This is why we do what we do. Yeah and yeah Mary Jane What do you reckon this one is He's a fuck. Oh more signs. Oh More signs matt. I think oh Look at this. Look at this. Would you look at this matt? Oh, this is the letter here Reserve parking for scientist michael Violators will be towed. He sent us some fucking reserved signs I'm seriously considering putting one of these up in my car park at home Reserve parking for scientist marty. This is great His name is matt. Thank you so much, dude. We're going to read this later So it's not dragging out in the podcast, but we fully appreciate him, dude We've got a sign each it says reserve for scientist A name on that side. Holy shit. I was gonna put that on my door so much better than gremlins Blood capsules place in your mouth then let it gush. This is good for a prank video. Oh, yeah Imagine that you fall over bang. That's a jackass prank. Dave england Oh, yeah, I could dude. I could like slap you in public and then you bite down on a turn around to a group of people onto someone To be up here. Oh, yes tricky squirt disappearing knife What's the squirt disappearing knife? No, it must squirt out die That's still handy to have that's good for videos. Yeah robbing 7-elevens with plastic knives seeing if that works It's a great experiment when we haven't done yet. Thank you so much for that Fucking legends. Thank you guys. Keep the shit coming. We love it. We love opening it live Let us know if you hate the segment or not. Haha, and I just realized that we have competition Oh, man. Yeah, that sign is good PO box. It's got our PO box. Yeah, let's be honest. What is better in your opinion I need I will need to rig the red one up and then have a Sign off so we've got sent another PO box sign and it says send us weird shit at the bottom Which is like edgy and shit and Yeah, like it's smaller. It wouldn't cover so much of the screen. I'm going with this one. I'm sorry for whoever sent out What about why not both? We could have both. We could we could I could work it out. I'll work it out Okay, and these can just stay on the chairs when we're not in no, we'll put them here We'll drill them into our skulls Fucking hell good times great presents. All right Very good gifts everyone. Love seeing it. Great hustle. All right onto the german segment is it? All right Oh Yeah, no, sorry, okay Oh Workout, man, you just got to relax and be german and it'll happen without any expenditure of energy Wow, it was so beautiful May I have the piece of paper my friend so they tell the kids and they're teaching me to speak Is and Was I close? No Man, you really are german and seeing there's no effort on my part I just switched from english Without any issue. All right, I see and which means I shame me in ground and floor Which means I'm very ashamed so after michael drank his own cum he would should have said Anyway So that's that one. That's german We didn't even um intro the segment. Sorry about that guys I'm with the segment A little side dish Little side Okay, man, it's so hard to read it. Just relax and let the german flow over you West do nuns third on the targliel Bit of talion at the end for talion for targliel Um, do you want there's at the beginning versed do holy shit. I'm fully getting it. Well, you've gotten two words out of two sentences Yeah, it's not fully getting it. It's not not quiet. No, no, no, no That's to be fair doomfair coffin. Oh, fuck that's quick said Which means do you want to sell me for stupid We haven't heard this one before which means like are you kidding me man? Are you fucking kidding me? You rear end someone at 80 k's an hour. They might turn around and say This is something you'd say about this place Was the in saft leiden Saft leiden saft leiden saft laden saft laden Fucking hell Who creates a word called saft laden? It's Okay Which means this place is a dump That I like that german guy he's good. Oh no Oh Dude, we don't have it. Don't worry. We got the harmonica Oh, don't fucking do that. Ha ha pranked you guys. Oh, you got me back man You got me back for the golly bottle golly bottle on my hands. I got you back Haha Hey, I was just thinking oh no, you know if we get those, you know the lighters that are like a A trigger and they got like a Blue flame. Yeah, do you think if we lit one of those just behind marty's part of blow a bit? Yeah, of course It's been done. I'd love to see it though Should we do that? I don't know if we should do that for a fucking actual science experiment or for the podcast Oh, well, if it's a video then go for it because content but like would you be willing I'll do it from a distance because they do spit out because you tighten it so much I'll be worried that it'll the flame will go Get through my little tight crack and well and go all the way out my guts Cook me from the inside out blow up my stomach German bits everywhere Well, what about if you just went like one verse? Yeah, I could do a one burst, huh? And then we'll test it out because fuck that's so I'd love to see it So I've seen people do weird shit like I've seen people do it. Yeah. Yeah, exactly hold the light They put their legs over their knees. Yeah, they're fucking shoulders and then well It's just a cool new fucking thing to do with the fart because Because we've got the harmonica didn't work the recorder didn't work The big megaphone was fun, but like I want something better fire fire just keeps on giving, you know Fat you've got to think of other ways I haven't seen it for a while. Did you bring it out last week? I keep shitting And like midday mon will see every day. Yeah, true But like yeah, and it's good. You don't do it too much because it over does it Like you don't want to it's not a treat if I do it too much. Yeah, exactly Anyway, that's the fucking end of the German segment which brings us to our fucking final segment Oh fuck off no shut up Get me all excited We got two more segments to go by the way We're gonna do a little update on the hunt. So I've got a new idea for it So I got a new idea for it And obviously the prank call Here's okay. It's the next segment's the hunt Shannon oh, obviously We've given up a little bit. It's too like We only like doing it when it's easy If it takes a bit of effort You were it wasn't fucking easy for some of them. There's been a And if you think about the hunt that you did mon, that's like the hardest fucking hunt that's ever been So I reckon Nikki Webster. All right done And then we'll ask her if her kisses are strawberry. No, isn't she missing her strawberry kisses? We could ask her do you kiss strawberries and get her to try and get her to kiss a strawberry and send it in In a really sexual erotic way For those who are Australian she's like the 2000 olympic banner girl For the sydney olympic. She's quite famous. She's like a little kid that's saying some quite famous 14 year old Sung at the olympics opening very famous. And yeah, so She's like she's our age a bit older now I think I don't think she's gonna come back to a thing. So I think if we ask her are you still missing your strawberry kisses? And see if she replies she's not gonna fucking no look she might she's a family I looked her up the other day. She's got a family and shit. She's not gonna talk to us. She might easy It depends what we ask her. Okay, we'll let her know that other people have done it And then we'll see what she says. There is no humming asking. This is the hunt if it gets too hard. We quit This is the hunt Yeah, we always quit some gets too Sometimes the people we're trying to get aren't worth the effort though. You know what I mean? So it's like why spend the next 10 weeks trying to get shana null when we could move on to someone better Yeah And we're wasting everyone else's time commenting. I see or everyone's commenting on shana null's posts being like very amazing Yeah, you guys are helping out. At least like he's fucking goes in quickly Posts and just fucking exits the app and doesn't come back on. Maybe he's not like he doesn't like maybe he's blind Maybe doesn't do his comments. Maybe he doesn't even do his instagram. He gets someone else to do it. Maybe He blank All right, it's time for our final segment guys, um, and you guessed it. It's the prank haul and this week Margaret is back And she needs her place cleaned up because there's a bloody big mess in the lounge room and bathroom Let me tell you right now. She murdered her husband Allegedly, there's blood all everywhere. There's blood on the ceiling. She's the bitch that would murder her husband Well, she's not married, but she had that autistic son So you reckon she killed him? Maybe. I don't know what happened. All right. I don't know this woman Okay, so, um, I'm just gonna call a cleaner and see if they can urgently come over. Yeah, so we'll see what happens anyway I hate Margaret almost as much as I hate Dakota. It's great to see so it's great to see Oh, yeah Small business. You're supporting small business. It's great Oh Anyway Now Hello Um, hello, my name is a Margaret. Is this um the cleaning service that I've called Yes. Yeah, great. Okay, great. So, um, look, I'm just calling around. I've got a bit of an emergency Um, there's been quite a mess, um at my house So I was just calling around to see um, what your earliest available time would be to come around and um Do quite a deep clean of um, only a couple of rooms really, but they're um, they're quite messy So, yeah, I was just sort of, uh, wondering what your earliest availability would be Alisha is, uh, it's been after a couple of weeks. Uh, it's already booked until uh, You're you're joking. Yeah, you're joking. Yeah. Well, well, listen, um, it is quite urgent And I'm willing to pay, um, quite a lot of money. Um, so whatever you usually charge I would be willing to triple that payment. Um, just because like I mentioned, it is quite urgent. Yeah, so Yeah, so what's uh, so which things you need to get clean? So look, it's it's basically just the lounge room and the bathroom, right? And um, there's quite a bit of um, blood on the floor Um, and there's some blood splatter on the wall as well. And then there's some sort of um, I guess a trail of blood leading into the bathroom. Um, and then aside from the blood, um, there's there's not too much else really and it's sort of um a little bit in the carpet and um, it's on some of the furniture as well But aside from that, that's it basically. It's just two rooms, mate. Yeah Yeah, okay. So, all right. Um, I have to check, um, Like my schedule. Yeah. So I can so when do you looking to get it done? Look as soon as possible. Your latest is Look as soon as possible really I'm happy to um, start the cleaning myself because um, yeah Like I said, it is quite time-sensitive. But before we agree, um, do you guys have um, I'm not sure if you're aware. Um, there's a machine that can sort of uh, detect blood in um, In furniture, in rooms. Um, Do you guys have any chemicals to sort of um, Completely eliminate any of the the blood from the carpet and the furniture? Did you guys have some really intense chemicals? I guess is what I'm asking Yeah, um, like we we usually um, like don't don't deal with the blood because we just uh, do the Bond cleaning, you know, right? Yeah, I see. Yeah. Yep. Okay. So, uh, do you think you have something like that? Not sure if anything would take off that. Right, right, right. Yeah And the other question I had um, do you guys have how do you dispose of um, waste because I do have um, Some uh, waste in my wheelie bin out the front and I was just wondering if maybe you guys could take that away from me And maybe burn it somewhere or something All right What sort of waste is that? Oh, look, it's in a big garbage bag. Um I'm not a hundred percent sure exactly what it is, but um, it's just in a big garbage bag. Um, and yeah It's it's double wrapped. So you don't need to worry about it falling out or anything But if we could just um, just burn that somewhere just completely incinerate it to ash And just get those two room rooms cleaned up. I think we're onto a winner here. Yeah. Yeah, it's great. It's great to see A murder scene look, mate, I can totally understand why you might think that and look I'm gonna be honest with you. Yeah All right But like I said like I mentioned, mate It is um, I am offering quite a large amount of money So, you know, I am offering triple the amount of money here and um, it's very easy work I think maybe two three hours tops $500 And look, it's just a family pet. Okay, let's just say it's a family pet All right, the dog the dog has had an accident and uh has has died in the lounge room Okay, and I had to take it to the bathroom to cut it up into smaller pieces to fit it into my wheelie bin Okay, let's just say that let's just say that the bin is full of pet dog. Okay So what's what is the earliest that you can arrive here? Uh, we we don't have availability He dodged the wrath of Margaret Margaret was about to drive the nail Oh Margaret she was about to get sick cross. Oh, man I'm so glad you like we're like, yeah, look Yeah, honestly, is that good enough for fuck's sake. Oh, look, it's hitting me. It's hitting me. They always hang up so early Yeah, like dude, you can't have fucking bangers every week because then there's no bangers We haven't had a shit one. We haven't had a good one for a while, man Dude last week's was sick. You fucking the pig in the dog sanctuary. Is that that I lose week. It was Dakota It was Dakota. Yeah, that yeah, no, that went well because she attacked us on the phone Yeah, fucking dude. Don't be I love it. That was fucking you made him say this sounds like a murder That's cool enough. Yeah, it's pretty good. And yeah, so you didn't get to have your outbursts or whatever Whatever, do you want to try another one? Is that what you're feeling? No, then fuck it. We've had a big day I thought it was all right. Even though it was short and sweet. It was still good. Yeah, dude It was fine. Don't you're fucking amazing at him. All right. I love that. He went up. Yeah, it's not your fault He still went though. We don't have any availability Fuck Yeah, dude, you should have kept him on low Yeah, it was like it was a 30 seconds away from being a good prank call 30 seconds. That's all I needed Close. Hey, look Yeah, you hit him and you miss him imagine if um what he's telling his family right now or his business partners He thinks that was real Imagine if there was a murder in aspley this evening. He would totally think that that's me. There was one recently wasn't there? Anyway, down the road from flank line. All right guys, that brings us to the end of episode number 23 But before we leave you, uh, we have something Something to tell you guys, okay We've been keeping something from you Something from the public for a few years now It's embarrassing What was embarrassing at the time and we thought it would affect our careers So we didn't say anything But we had a chat amongst ourselves And we thought it's time to tell you guys So to be honest It's time to be I'm fucking proud of it, dude I'm proud of it now too and now I don't give a shit. Okay. I'm happy to tell you guys. All right And show you guys there's footage So we're throwing it to you guys. We're gonna reveal it Next week. Okay secret revealed next week. What do you think our secret is? Put it in the comments Let's see what you guys come up with. Let's see if anyone can guess it Will we read out all the guesses? What what the big secret is? Oh, we'll read out some funny ones Yeah, we will read them all we'll read out the note here personally, but we might read out some of the better ones I'll get them And Yeah, it's a big secret. It's uh, we thought it was going to affect our career, but fuck it now Yeah, like dude, I'm proud of our work with that. I reckon we did a good job We and it was fun. It was fun at the time. It was all in the name of comedy. It was okay Very good. That's what you need to remember very ours like our style comedy Exactly, which is good comedy. I hope I can find the hard drive. Oh, dude. Yeah, don't get their hopes up no, I'm Sure, dude that that one that we just got off corner. I'm pretty sure that has all the videos on there. Okay Okay, but oh man, I hope yeah same. Oh It'll be so shit Because once they're deleted off social media, you can't find them again. Hey, no But look, I'll have a look even if we don't find the footage We will go into detail about what we did. Yeah, and that's fucking rad enough Exactly, but if we do have the footage my god, you've got some rad videos to watch I guess. Yeah, maybe not to everyone to us Like I fucking adored them at the time making them directing them might he would edit them In fucking hell. Did you hear that? No Okay, sorry Anyway, uh guys, don't forget to drop a big fat like and remember if this podcast gets to three k likes What's our average like 600? 10,000 views a podcast and we get 600 fucking likes. Is that normal? That's yeah, that's very good. Okay, sorry You guys are very likey already, but if you want to see Michael attempt to take a shot of the golly bottle which Some of you might not want to see okay, but there's a sick part in everyone that sort of wants to see it Even even if you don't want to see it fucking like it. Anyway, drop a like bro And then just pause it when it happens drop a comment. Would you just turn it off? Yeah, skip it and report the video Get it get it deleted and get us a strike on youtube like if you're that uncomfortable, but still like it Do you know what I mean? Anyway guys, we're the fucking best Uh, we're the best We're the best we're the best we're the best we're the best we're the best we're the best we're the best