 Chapter 31 of the Adventures of Peregrine Pickle. Volume 1. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Martin Giesen. The Adventures of Peregrine Pickle. Volume 1. By Tobias Smollett. Chapter 31. The two young gentlemen display their talents for gallantry, in the course of which they are involved in a ludicrous circumstance of distress, and afterwards take vengeance on the author of their mishap. Meanwhile, our hero and his new friend, together with honest Jack Hatchway, made daily excursions into the country, visited the gentlemen in the neighbourhood, and frequently accompanied them to the chase. All three being exceedingly caressed on account of their talents, which could accommodate themselves with great facility to the tempers and turns of their entertainers. The lieutenant was a droll in his way. Peregrine possessed a great fund of sprightliness and good humour, and Godfrey, among his other qualifications already recited, sang a most excellent song, so that the company of this triumvirate was courted in all parties, whether male or female. And if the hearts of our young gentlemen had not been pre-engaged, they would have met with opportunities in abundance of displaying their address in the art of love. Not but that they gave loose to their gallantry without much interesting their affections, and amused themselves with little intrigues, which in the opinion of a man of pleasure do not affect his fidelity to the acknowledged sovereign of his soul. In the midst of these amusements, our hero received an intimation from his sister that she should be overjoyed to meet him next day at five o'clock in the afternoon at the house of her nurse, who lived in the cottage hard by her father's habitation, she being debarred from all opportunity of seeing him in any other place by the severity of her mother, who suspected her inclination. He accordingly obeyed the summons, and went at the time appointed to the place of rendezvous, where he met this affectionate young lady, who when he entered the room, ran towards him with all the eagerness of transport, flung her arms about his neck, and shed a flood of tears in his bosom before she could utter one word, except a repetition of, my dear, dear brother. He embraced her with all the piety of fraternal tenderness, wept over her in his turn, assured her that this was one of the happiest moments of his life, and kindly thanked her for having resisted the example and disobeyed the injunctions of his mother's unnatural aversion. He was ravished to find by her conversation that she possessed a great share of sensibility and prudent reflection, for she lamented the infatuation of her parents with the most filial regret, and expressed such abhorrence and concern at the villainous disposition of her younger brother, as a humane sister may be supposed to have entertained. He made her acquainted with all the circumstances of his own fortune, and as he's supposed she spent her time very disagreeably at home, among characters which must be shockingly interesting, professed a desire of removing her into some other sphere where she could live with more tranquility and satisfaction. She objected to this proposal as an expedient that would infallibly subject her to the implacable resentment of her mother, whose favour and affection she yet present enjoyed but in a very inconsiderable degree. And they had canvassed diverse schemes of corresponding for the future, when the voice of Mistress Pickle was heard at the door. Miss Julia, that was the young lady's name, finding herself betrayed was seized with a violent agitation of fear. And Peregrine Scarce had time to encourage her with a promise of protection, before the door of the apartment being flung open, this irreconcilable parent rushed in, and with a furious aspect flew directly at her trembling daughter, when the son into posing received the first discharge of her fury. Her eyes gleamed with all the rage of indignation, which choked up her utterance and seemed to convulse her whole frame. She twisted her left hand in his hair, and with the other buffeted him about the face till the blood gushed from his nostrils and mouth, while he defended his sister from the cruelty of Gam, who assaulted her from another quarter, seeing his brother engaged. This attack lasted several minutes with great violence, till at length Peregrine, finding himself in danger of being overpowered if he should remain any longer on the defensive, laid his brother on his back. Then he disentangled his mother's hand from his own hair, and having pushed her gently out of the room, bolted the door on the inside. Finally turning to Gam, he threw him out at the window, among a parcel of hogs that fed under it. By this time Julia was almost quite distracted with terror. She knew she had offended beyond all hope of forgiveness, and from that moment considered herself as an exile from her father's house. In vain did her brother strive to console her with fresh protestations of love and protection. She counted herself extremely miserable in being obliged to endure the eternal resentment of a parent with whom she had hitherto lived, and dreaded the censure of the world, which from her mother's misrepresentation she was sensible would condemn her unheard. That she might not however neglect any means in her power of averting this storm, she resolved to appease, if possible, her mother's wrath with humiliation, and even appeal to the influence of her father, weak as it was, before she would despair of being forgiven. But the good lady spared her this unnecessary application by telling her through the keyhole that she must never expect to come within her father's door again, for from that hour she renounced her as unworthy of her affection and regard. Julia, weeping bitterly, endeavored to soften the rigor of this sentence by the most submissive and reasonable remonstrances. But as in her vindication she of necessity espoused her elder brother's cause, her endeavours instead of soothing, served only to exasperate her mother to a higher pitch of indignation, which discharged itself in invectives against peregrine, whom she reviled with the epithets of a worthless, abandoned reprobate. The youth, hearing these unjust dispersions, trembled with resentment through every limb, assuring the up-braider that he considered her as an object of compassion. For without all doubt, said he, your diabolical ranker must be severely punished by the thorns of your own conscience, which this very instant taxes you with the malice and false sort of your approaches. As for my sister, I bless God that you have not been able to infect her with your unnatural prejudice, which because she is too just, too virtuous, too humane to imbibe, you reject her as an alien to your blood and turn her out unprovided into a barbarous world. But even there your vicious purpose shall be defeated. That same providence that screened me from the cruelty of your hate shall extend its protection to her, until I shall find it convenient to assert by law that right of maintenance which nature, it seems, hath bestowed upon us in vain. In the meantime you will enjoy the satisfaction of paying an undivided attention to that darling son whose amiable qualities have so long engaged and engrossed your love and esteem. This freedom of expostulation exalted his mother's ire to mere frenzy. She cursed him with the bitterest implications and raved like a bedlamite at the door which she attempted to burst open. Her first efforts were seconded by her favourite son who denounced vengeance against Peregrine and made furious assaults against the Locke, which resisted all their applications, until our hero is spying his friends gauntlet and pipes, stepping over a style that stood about a furlong from the window, called them to his assistants. Giving them to understand how he was besieged, he desired they would keep off his mother that he might the more easily secure his sister Julia's retreat. The young soldier entered accordingly and posting himself between Mistress Pickle and the door gave the signal to his friend, who lifting up his sister in his arms carried her safe without the clutches of this she-dragon, while pipes with his cudgel kept the young master at bay. The mother being thus deprived of her prey sprang upon gauntlet like a lioness robbed of her welps, and he must have suffered sorely in the flesh had he not prevented her mischievous intent by seizing both her wrists and so keeping her at due distance. In attempting to disengage herself from his grasp, she struggled with such exertion and suffered such agony of passion at the same time that she actually fell into a severe fit, during which she was put to bed and the Confederates retired without further molestation. In the meantime, Peregrine was not a little perplexed about the disposal of his sister whom he had rescued. He could not endure the thoughts of saddling the Commodore with a new expense, and he was afraid of undertaking the charge of Julia without his benefactor's advice and direction. For the present, however, he carried her to the house of a gentleman in the neighborhood whose lady was her godmother, where she was received with great tenderness and condolence, and he purposed to inquire for some creditable house where she might be gentilly boarded in his absence, resolving to maintain her from the savings of his own allowance, which he thought might very well bear such reduction. But this intention was frustrated by the publication of the whole affair, as divulged next day and soon reached the ears of Trunnion, who chid his godson for having concealed the adventure, and with the approbation of his wife, ordered him to bring Julia forthwith to the garrison. The young gentleman with tears of gratitude in his eyes explained his design of maintaining her at his own expense, and earnestly begged that he might not be deprived of that satisfaction. But his uncle was deaf to all his entreaties and insisted upon her living in the garrison, though for no other reason than that of being company to her aunt, who he observed was lost her want of conversation. Julia was accordingly brought home and settled under the tuition of Mistress Trunnion, who whatever face she might put on the matter could have dispensed with the society of her niece, though she was not without hope of gratifying her peak to Mistress Pickle by the intelligence she would receive from the daughter of that lady's economy and domestic behaviour. The mother herself seemed conscious of this advantage which her sister-in-law had now gained over her, being as much chagrined at the news of Julia's reception in the garrison as if she had heard of her own husband's death. She even tortured her invention to propagate calamities against the reputation of her own daughter, whom she slandered in all companies. She exclaimed against the Commodore as an old ruffian who spirited up rebellion among her children and imputed the hospitality of his wife, incontinenting them to nothing else but her inveterate enmity to their mother whom they had disabliged. She now insisted in the most peremptory terms upon her husband's renouncing all commerce with the old lad of the castle and his adherents. And Mr. Gamaliel, having by this time contracted other friendships, readily submitted to her will. Nay even refused to communicate with the Commodore one night when they happened to meet by accident at the public house. End of Chapter 31 Recording by Martin Geeson in Hazelmere Surrey Chapter 32 of the Adventures of Peregrine Pickle, Volume 1 This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org Recording by Martin Geeson The Adventures of Peregrine Pickle, Volume 1 by Tobias Smollett Chapter 32 The Commodore sends a challenge to Gamaliel and is imposed upon by a waggish invention of the Lieutenant Peregrine and Gauntlet. This affront trunnion could by no means digest. He advised with the Lieutenant upon the subject and the result of their consultation was a defiance which the old commander sent to Pickle demanding that he would meet him at such a place on horseback with the brace of pistols and give satisfaction for the slight he had put upon him. Nothing could have afforded more pleasure to Jack than the acceptance of this challenge which he delivered verbally to Mr. Gamaliel who was called out from the club at Tunleys for that purpose. The nature of this message had an instantaneous effect upon the constitution of the Pacific Pickle whose bowels yearned with that prehension and underwent such violent agitation on the spot that one would have thought the operation proceeded from some severe joke of the apothecary which he had swallowed in his beer. The messenger despairing of a satisfactory answer left him in this woeful condition and being loath to lose any opportunity of raising the laugh against the Commodore went immediately and communicated the whole affair to the young gentlemen and treating them for the love of God to concert some means of bringing old Hannibal into the field. The two friends relished the proposal and after some deliberation it was resolved that Hatchway should tell Trunnion his invitation was accepted by Gamaliel who would meet him at the place appointed with his second tomorrow in the twilight because if either should fall the other would have the chance of escaping in the dark that Godfrey should personate old Pickle's friend and Peregrine represent his own father while the Lieutenant should take care in loading the pistols to keep out the shot so that no damage might be done in their encounter. These circumstances being adjusted the Lieutenant returned to his principal with the most thundering reply from his antagonist whose courageous behaviour though it could not intimidate did not fail to astonish the Commodore who ascribed it to the spirit of his wife which had inspired him. Trunnion that instant desired his counsellor to prepare his cartridge box and order the quietest horse in the stable to be kept ready saddled for the occasion. His eye seemed to lighten with alacrity and pleasure at the prospect of smelling gunpowder once more before his death and when Jack advised him to make his will in case of accident he rejected his counsellor with disdain saying, What, doth thou think that horse a Trunnion who has stood the fire of so many floating batteries runs any risk from the lousy pops of a land man? Thou shalt see, thou shalt see how I'll make him lower his tops off. Next day Peregrine and the soldier provided themselves with horses at the public house from whence at the destined hour they rode to the field of battle each of them being muffed in a great coat which with the dimness of the light effectually shielded them from the knowledge of the one-eyed commander who having taken horse on pretense of enjoying the fresh air soon appeared with hatchway in his rear. When they came with insight of each other the seconds advanced in order to divide the ground and regulate the measures of the combat. When it was determined by mutual consent that two pistols should be discharged on each side and that if neither should prove decisive recourse must be had to the broadswords in order to ascertain the victory. These articles being settled the opponents rode forward to their respective stations when Peregrine cocking his pistol and presenting counterfeited his father's voice bidding Trunnion take care of his remaining eye. The Commodore took his advice being unwilling to hazard his daylight and very deliberately opposed the patched side of his face to the muzzle of his antagonist's piece desiring him to do his duty without father ajar. The young man accordingly fired and the distance being small the wad of his pistol took place with a smart stroke on the forehead of Trunnion mistaking it for a ball which he thought lodged in his brain he spurred up his steed in a state of desperation towards his antagonist and holding his piece within two yards of his body let it off without any regard to the laws of battle. Surprised and enraged to see it had made no impression he hallowed in a terrible tone ah, damn ye, you have your netting stuffed I see and advancing he discharged his second pistol so near his godson's head that had he not been defended by his great coat the powder must have scorched his face having thus thrown away his fire he remained at the mercy of Peregrine who, clapping the piece he had in reserve to his head commanded him to beg his life and ask pardon for his presumption. The Commodore made no reply to this imperious injunction but dropping his pistol and unsheathing his broadsword in an instant attacked our hero with such incredible agility that if he had not made shift to ward off the stroke with his piece the adventure in all likelihood would have turned out a very tragical joke Peregrine finding it would be in vain for him to think of drawing his weapon or of standing on the defensive against this furious aggressor very fairly clapped spurs to his nag and sought his safety in flight Trunnion pursued him with infinite eagerness and his steed being the better of the two would have overtaken the fugitive to his peril had he not been unfortunately encountered by the boughs of a tree that happened to stand on his blind side and incommodated him so much that he was feigned to quit his sword and lay hold on the main in order to maintain his seat Pere perceiving his disaster wheeled about and now finding leisure to produce his weapon returned upon his disarmed foe brandishing his Ferrara threatening to make him shorter by the head if he would not immediately crave quarter and yield There was nothing farther from the intention of the old gentleman such submission which he flatly refused to pay alleging that he had already compelled his enemy to clap on all sails and that his own present misfortune was owing to accident all one as if a ship should be attacked after she had been obliged to heave her guns overboard in a storm Before Peregrine had time to answer this remonstrance the lieutenant interposed and taking cognizance of the case established a truce until he and the other second should discuss and decide upon the merits of the case They accordingly retired to a small distance and after having conferred a few minutes Hatchway returned and pronounced the Commodore vanquished by the chance of war Never was rage more than that which took possession of old Hannibal when he heard the sentence it was some time before he could utter ought except the reproachful expression you lie which he repeated more than twenty times in a sort of delirious insensibility When he recovered the further use of speech he abused the arbitrators with such bitter invectives renouncing their sentence and appealing to another trial that the Confederates began to repent of having carried the joke so far and Peregrine in order to appease his collar owned himself overcome This acknowledgement calmed the tumult of his wrath though he could not for some days forgive the lieutenant and the two young gentlemen rode back to Tunleys while Hatchway, taking the Commodore's horse by the bridle reconducted him to his mansion growling all the way to Jack for his unjust and unfriendly decree though he could not help observing as how he had made his words good in making his adversary to strike his topsoil and yet, said he, before God I think the fellow's head is made of a wood-pack for my shot rebounded from his face like a wad of spun yarn from the walls of a ship but if so be the son of a bitch of a tree hadn't come a-thought my weather-bowed, you see I'll be damned if I hadn't snapped his manured in the slings and may have let out his bulge-water into the bargain He seemed particularly vain of this exploit which dwelt upon his imagination and was cherished as the child of his old age for though he could not with decency rehearse it to the young men and his wife at supper he gave hints of his own manhood even at these years and attested Hatchway as a voucher for his metal while the triumvirate, diverted by his vanity enjoyed in secret the success of their imposition End of Chapter 32 Recording by Martin Geeson in Hazelmere Surrey Chapter 33 of the Adventures of Peregrine Pickle, Volume 1 This is a LibriVox recording All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Recording by Martin Geeson The Adventures of Peregrine Pickle, Volume 1 by Tobias Smollett Chapter 33 Peregrine takes leave of his aunt and sister sets out from the garrison parts with his uncle and Hatchway on the road and with his governor arrives in safety at Dover This however was the last effort of invention which they practiced upon him and everything being now prepared for the departure of his godson that hopeful youth in two days took leave of all his friends in the neighbourhood He was closeted two whole hours with his aunt who enriched him with many pious advices recapitulated all the benefits which through her means had been conferred upon him since his infancy cautioned him against the temptations of lewd women who bring many a man to a morsel of bread laid strict instructions upon him to live in the fear of the Lord and the true Protestant faith to estue quarrels and contention to treat Mr Jolter with reverence and regard and above all things to abstain from the beastly sin of drunkenness which exposes a man to the scorn and contempt of his fellow creatures and by divesting him of reason and reflection renders him fit for all manner of vice and debauchery She recommended to him economy and the care of his health made him remember the honour of his family and in all the circumstances of his behaviour assured him that he might always depend upon the friendship and generosity of the Commodore finally presenting him with her own picture set in gold and a hundred guineas from her privy purse she embraced him affectionately and wished him all manner of happiness and prosperity Being thus kindly dismissed by Mr Strunyan he locked himself up with his sister Julia whom he admonished to cultivate her aunt with the most complacent and respectful attention without stooping to any circumstance of submission that she should judge unworthy of her practice He protested that his chief study should be to make her immense for the privilege she had forfeited by her affection for him and treated her to enter into no engagement without his knowledge and approbation put into her hand the purse which he had received from his aunt to defray her pocket expenses in his absence and parted from her not without tears after she had for some minutes hung about his neck kissing him and weeping in the most pathetic silence Having performed these duties of affection and consanguinity overnight he went to bed and was by his own direction called at four o'clock in the morning when he found the post-shares coach and riding horses ready at the gate his friends Gauntlet and Hatchway on foot the Commodore himself almost dressed and every servant in the garrison assembled in the yard to wish him a good journey Our hero shook each of these humble friends by the hand tipping them at the same time with marks of his bounty and was very much surprised when he could not perceive his old attendant pipes among the number when he expressed his wonder at this disrespectful omission of Tom some of those present ran to his chamber in order to give him a call but his hammock and room were both deserted and they soon returned with an account of his having eloped Herogren was disturbed at this information believing that the fellow had taken some desperate course in consequence of his being dismissed from his service and began to wish that he had indulged his inclination by retaining him still about his person However as there was now no other remedy he recommended him strenuously to the particular favour and distinction of his uncle and Hatchway in case he should appear again and as he went out of the gate was saluted with three cheers by all the domestics in the family The Commodore Gauntlet Lieutenant Peregrine and Jolter went into the coach together but they might enjoy each other's conversation as much as possible Resolving to breakfast as an inn upon the road where Trunnion and Hatchway intended to bid our adventurer farewell The valet de Champ got into the post shares the French lackey rode one horse and led another one of the valets of the garrison mounted at the back of the coach and thus the cavalcade set out on the road to Dover As the Commodore could not bear the fatigue of jolting they travelled as an easy pace during the first stage so that the old gentleman had an opportunity of communicating his exhortations to his godson with regard to his conduct abroad He advised him now that he was going into foreign parts to be upon his guard against the fair weather of the French polytas which was no more to be trusted than a whirlpool at sea He observed that many young men had gone to Paris with good cargoes of sense and returned with a great deal of canvas and no ballast at all whereby they became crank all the days of their lives and sometimes carried their keels above water He desired Mr Jolter to keep his people out of the clutches of those sharking priests who lie in wait to make converts of all young strangers and in a particular manner cautioned the youth against carnal conversation with the Parisian dames who he understood were no better than gaudy fire ships ready primed with death and destruction Peregrine listened with great respect thanking him for his kind admonitions which he faithfully promised to observe They halted and breakfasted at the end of the stage where Jolter provided himself with a horse and that Commodore settled the method of corresponding with his nephew The minute of parting being arrived the old commander rung his godson by the hand saying, I wish thee a prosperous voyage and good cheer, my lad My timbers are now a little crazy, do you see and God knows if I shall keep afloat till such time as I see thee again But how some ever, at what well thou wilt find thyself in a condition to keep in the line with the rest of thy fellows He then reminded Gauntlet of his promise to call it the garrison in his return from Dover and imparted something in a whisper to the governor While Jack Hatchway, unable to speak pulled his hat over his eyes and squeezing Peregrine by the hand gave him a pistol of curious workmanship as a memorial of his friendship Our youth, who was not unmoved on this occasion received the pledge which he acknowledged with the present of a tobacco box bought for this purpose and the two lads of the castle getting into the coach were driven homewards in a state of silent dejection Godfrey and Peregrine seated themselves in the post-shares and Jolte, the valet de chambre and lackey bestriding their beasts they proceeded for the place of their destination at which they arrived in safety that same night and bespoke a passage in the packet boat that was to sail next day End of Chapter 33 Recording by Martin Geeson in Hazelmere Surrey Chapter 34 of the Adventures of Peregrine Pickle Volume 1 This is a LibriVox recording All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Recording by Martin Geeson The Adventures of Peregrine Pickle Volume 1 by Tobias Smollett Chapter 34 He adjusts the method of his correspondence with Gauntlet meets by accident with an Italian charlatan and a certain apothecary who proves to be a noted character There the two friends adjusted the articles of the future correspondence and Peregrine having written a letter to his mistress wherein he renewed his former vows of eternal fidelity it was entrusted to the care of her brother While Mr Jolter at the desire of his pupil provided an elegant supper and some excellent burgundy that they might spend this eve of his departure with the greater enjoyment Things being thus disposed and a servant employed in laying the cloth their ears were all of a sudden invaded by a strange tumultuous noise in the next room occasioned by the overthrow of tables, chairs and glasses with odd unintelligible exclamations in broken French and a jargon of threats in the Welsh dialect Our young gentleman ran immediately into the apartment from whence this clamour seemed to proceed and found a thin, meagre, swarthy figure gasping in all the agony of fear under the hands of a squat, thick, hard featured man who collared him with great demonstrations of wrath saying, if you was as mighty a magician as Owain Glindur or the witch of Endorluck you I, I or as Paul Bayor himself I will make bold by the assistance of God and in his majesty's name to seize and secure and confine and confront you until such time as you suffer and endure and undergo the pains and penalties of the law for your diabolical practices Gentlemen, added he, turning to our adventurers I take you to witness that I protest and assert and avow that this person is as big a necromancer as you would desire to behold and I supplicate and beseech and entreat of you that he may be brought before his betters and compelled to give an account of his compact and commerce with the imps of darkness, look you But as I am a Christian soul and hope for joyful resurrection I have this blessed evening seen him perform such things as could not be done without the aid and instruction and connivance of the Tevil Gauntlet seemed to enter into the sentiments of this Welsh reformer and actually laid hold on the delinquents shoulder crying, damn the rascal I'll lay any wager that he suggests you it for none of his order travel without a familiar But Peregrine who looked upon the affair in another point of view interposed in behalf of the stranger whom he freed from his aggressors observing that there was no occasion to use violence and asked in French what he had done to incur the censure of the informer The poor foreigner, more dead than alive answered that he was an Italian charlatan who had practiced with some reputation in Padua until he had the misfortune to attract the notice of the inquisition by exhibiting certain wonderful performances by his skill in natural knowledge which that tribunal considered as the effects of sorcery and persecuted him accordingly so that he had been feigned to make a precipitate retreat into France where not finding his account in his talents he was now arrived in England with a view of practicing his art in London and that in consequence of a specimen which he had given to a company below the choleric gentleman had followed him upstairs to his own apartment and assaulted him in that inhospitable manner he therefore earnestly begged that our hero would take him under his protection and if he entertained the least suspicion of his employing preternatural means in the operations of his art he would freely communicate all the secrets in his possession The youth dispelled his apprehension by assuring him that he was in no danger of suffering for his art in England where if ever he should be questioned by the zeal of superstitious individuals he had nothing to do but appeal to the justice of the peace who would immediately acquit him of the charge and punish his accusers for their impertinence and indiscretion He then told Gauntlet and the Welshman that the stranger had a good action against them for an assault by virtue of an act of parliament which makes it criminal for any person to accuse another of sorcery and witchcraft these idle notions being now justly exploded by all sensible men Mr Jolter, who had by this time joined the company could not help signifying his dissent from this opinion of his pupil which he endeavored to invalidate by the authority of scripture quotations from the fathers and by the confession of many wretches who suffered death for having carried on correspondence with evil spirits with the evidence of Satan's invisible world and Morton's history of witchcraft The soldier corroborated these testimonies by facts that had happened within the sphere of his own knowledge and in particular mentioned the case of an old woman of the parish in which he was born who used to transform herself into the shapes of sundry animals and was at last killed by small shots in the character of a hare The Welshman thus supported expressed his surprise at hearing that the legislature had shown such tenderness for criminals of so dark a hue and offered to prove by undeniable instances that there was not a mountain in Wales which had not been in his memory the scene of necromancy and witchcraft Wherefore said he I am assuredly more than above astonished and confounded and concerned that the Parliament of Great Britain and their penitration give countenance and encouragement look you to the works of darkness and the Empire of Belzebub Over and above the evidence of holy writ and those writers who have been quoted by that accurate and learned gentleman were informed by profane history of the priples and pranks of the old serpent in the portent and oracles of antiquity as you will find in that most excellent historian Polybius and Titus Liffius I and moreover in the commentaries of Julius Caesar himself who as the old world knows was the most famous and the most valiant and the most wise and the most prudent and the most fortunate chieftain and the most renowned orator I and the most elegant writer to boot Peregrine did not think proper to enter the lists of dispute with three such obstinate antagonists but contended himself with saying that he believed it would be no difficult matter to impugn the arguments they had advanced though he did not find himself at all disposed to undertake the task which must of course break in upon the evening's entertainment He therefore invited the Italian to supper and asked the same favour of his accuser who seemed to have something curious and characteristic in his manner and disposition resolving to make himself an eyewitness of those surprising feats which had given offence to the choleric Britain This scrupulous gentleman thanked our hero for his courtesy but declined communicating with the stranger until his character should be further explained upon which his inviator after some conversation with the charlatan assured him that he would himself undertake for the innocence of his art and then he was prevailed upon to favour them with his company In the course of the conversation Peregrine learnt that the Welshman was a surgeon of Canterbury who had been called into his consultation at Dover an understanding that his name was Morgan took the liberty of asking if he was not the person so respectfully mentioned in the adventures of Roderick Random Mr. Morgan assumed a look of gravity and importance at this interrogation and screwing at his mouth answered Mr. Random, my good sir I believe upon my conscience and salvation is my very good friend and well-wisher and he and I have been companions and messmates and fellow sufferers, look you but nevertheless for all that, per adventure he has not behaved with so much complacence and affability and respect as I might have expected from him because he has revealed and divulged and published our private affairs without my knowledge and privity and consent but as God is my saviour I think he had no evil intention in his belly and though there be certain persons, look you who as I am told take upon them to laugh at his descriptions of my person and his deportment and conversation I do affirm and maintain and insist with my heart and my blood and my soul that these persons are no better than ignorant asses and that they know not how to discern and distinguish and define true ridicule or as Aristotle calls it the togelloion no more luckier than a herd of mountain goats for I will make bold to observe and hope this good company will be of the same opinion that there is nothing said of me in that performance which is unworthy of a Christian and a gentleman our young gentleman and his friends acquiesced in the justness of his observation Peregrine particularly assured him that from reading the book he had conceived the utmost regard and veneration for his character and that he thought himself extremely fortunate in having this opportunity of enjoying his conversation Morgan not a little proud of such advances from a person of Peregrine's appearance returned the compliment with a profusion of civility and in the warmth of acknowledgement expressed a desire of seeing him and his company at his house in Canterbury I will not pretend or presume kind sir said he to entertain you according to your merits and deserts but you shall be as welcome to my poor cottage and my wife and family as the Prince of Wales himself and it shall go hard if one way or other I do not find ways and means of making you confess that there is some good fellowship in an ancient Britain but though I am no better than a simple apothecary I have as good blood circulating in my veins as any he in the county and I can describe and delineate and demonstrate my pedigree to the satisfaction of the whole world and moreover by God's good providence and assistance I can afford to treat my friend with the joint of good mutton and a bottle of excellent wine and no tradesman can beard me with a bill he was congratulated on his happy situation and assured that our youth would visit him on his return from France provided he should take Canterbury in his root as Peregrine manifested an inclination of being acquainted with the state of his affairs he very complacently satisfied his curiosity by giving him to know that his spouse had left off breeding after having blessed him with two boys and a girl who were still alive and well that he lived in good esteem with his neighbours and by his practice which was considerably extended immediately after the publication of Roderick Random had saved some thousand pounds he had begun to think of retiring among his own relations in Glamorganshire though his wife had made objection to this proposal and opposed the execution of it with such obstinacy that he had been at infinite pains in asserting his own prerogative by convincing her both from reason and example that he was king and priest in his own family and that she owed the most implicit submission to his will he likewise informed the company that he had lately seen his friend Roderick who had come from London on purpose to visit him after having gained his lawsuit with Mr. Tope Ball who was obliged to pay in our sister's fortune that Mr. Random in all appearance led a very happy life in the conversation of his father and bedfellow by whom he enjoyed a son and daughter that Morgan had received in a present from him a piece of very fine linen of his wife's own making several kits of salmon and two casks of pickled pork the most delicate that he had ever tasted together with a barrel of excellent herrings for Salma Gundy which he knew to be his favourite dish this topic of conversation being discussed the Italian was desired to exhibit a specimen of his art and in a few minutes he conducted the company into the next room where to their great astonishment and a fright they beheld a thousand serpents winding along the ceiling Morgan struck with this phenomenon which he had not seen before began to utter exorcisms with great devotion Mr. Jolter ran out of the room Gauntlet drew his hanger and Peregrine himself was disconcerted the operator perceiving their confusion desired them to retire and calling them back in an instant there was not a viper to be seen he raised their admiration by sundry other performances and the Welshman's former opinion and abhorrence of his character began to recur when in consideration of the civility with which he had been treated this Italian imparted to them all the methods by which he had acted such wonders that were no other than the effects of natural causes curiously combined so that Morgan became a convert to his skill asked pardon for the suspicion he had entertained and invited the stranger to pass a few days with him at Canterbury the scruples of Godfrey and Jolter were removed at the same time and Peregrine testified his satisfaction by a handsome gratuity which he bestowed upon their entertainer the evening being spent in this sociable manner every man retired to his respective chamber and next morning they breakfasted together when Morgan declared he would stay till he should see our hero fairly embarked that he might have the pleasure of Mr. Gauntlet's company to his own habitation meanwhile by the skipper's advice the servants were ordered to carry a store of wine and provision on board in case of accident and as the packet boat could not sail before one o'clock the company walked uphill to visit the castle where they saw the sword of Julius Caesar and Queen Elizabeth's pocket pistol repeated Shakespeare's description while they surveyed the chalky cliffs on each side and cast their eyes towards the city of Calais that was obscured by a thick cloud which did not much regale their eyesight because it seemed to portend foul weather having viewed everything remarkable in this place they returned to the pier where after the compliments of parting and an affectionate embrace between the two young gentlemen Peregrine and his governor stepped aboard the sails were hoisted and they went to sea with a fair wind while Godfrey, Morgan and the conjurer walked back to the inn from whence they set out for Canterbury before dinner End of Chapter 34 Recording by Martin Geeson in Hazelmere Surrey Chapter 35 of the Adventures of Peregrine Pickle Volume 1 This is a LibriVox recording All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Recording by Martin Geeson The Adventures of Peregrine Pickle Volume 1 by Tobias Smollett Chapter 35 He embarks for France is overtaken by a storm is surprised with the appearance of pipes lands at Calais and has an affray with the officers at the custom house scarce had the vessel preceded two leagues the passage when the wind shifting blew directly in her teeth so that they were obliged to haul upon a wind and alter their course the sea running pretty high at the same time our hero who was below in his cabin began to be squeamish and in consequence of the skipper's advice went upon deck for the comfort of his stomach while the governor experienced in these disasters slipped into bed where he lay at his ease amusing himself with a treatise on the cycloid with algebraical demonstrations which never failed to engage his imagination in the most agreeable manner in the meantime the wind increased to a very hard gale the vessel pitched with great violence the sea washed over the deck the master was alarmed the crew were confounded the passengers were overwhelmed with sickness and fear and universal distraction ensued in the midst of this uproar Peregrine holding fast by the taff rail and looking roofily ahead the countenance of pipes presented itself to his astonished view rising as it were from the hulls of the ship at first he imagined it was a fear formed shadow of his own brain though he did not long remain in this era but plainly perceived that it was no other than a real person of Thomas who jumping on the quarter deck took charge of the helm and dictated to the sailors with as much authority as if he had been commander of the ship the skipper looked upon him as an angel sent to his assistance and the crew soon discovered him to be a thoroughbred seaman not withstanding his livery frock obeyed his orders with such a lacquery but in a little time the confusion vanished and every necessary step was taken to weather the gale our young gentleman immediately conceived the meaning of Tom's appearance on board and when the tumult was a little subsided went up and encouraged him to exert himself for the preservation of the ship promising to take him again into his service from which he should never be dismissed except his own desire this assurance had a surprising effect upon pipes who though he made no manner of reply thrust the helm into the master's hands saying here you old bumboat woman take hold of the tiller and keep her thus boy thus and skipped about the vessel trimming the sails and managing the ropes with such agility and skill that everybody on deck stood amazed at his dexterity Mr. Jolter was far from being unconcerned at the uncommon motion of the vessel the singing of the wind and the uproar which he heard about him he looked towards the cabin door with the most fearful expectation in hope of seeing some person who would give some account of the weather and what was doing upon deck but not a soul appeared and he was too well acquainted with the disposition of his own bowels to make the least alteration in his attitude when he had lain a good while in all the agony of suspense the boy tumbled headlong into his apartment with such noise that he believed the mast had gone by the board and starting upright in his bed asked with all the symptoms of horror what was the cause of that disturbance the boy half stunned by his fall answered in a dolorous tone I'm come to put up the deadlights at the mention of deadlights the meaning of which he did not understand the poor governor's heart died within him he shivered with despair his recollection for saking him he fell upon his knees in the bed and fixing his eyes upon the book which was in his hand began to pronounce aloud with great fervour the time of a complete oscillation in the cycloid is to the time in which a body would fall through the axis of the cycloid dv as the circumference of a circle to its diameter he would in all likelihood have proceeded with the demonstration of this proposition had he not been seized with such a quarm as compelled him to drop the book and accommodate himself to the emergency of his distemper he therefore stretched himself at full length and putting up ejaculations to heaven began to prepare himself for his latter end when all of a sudden the noise above was intermitted and as he could not conceive the course of this tremendous silence he imagined that either the men were washed overboard or that despairing of safety they had ceased to oppose the tempest while he was harrowed by this miserable uncertainty which however was not altogether unenlightened by some scattered rays of hope the master entered the cabin then he asked with a voice half extinguished by fear how matters went upon deck and the skipper with a large bottle of brandy applied to his mouth answered in a hollow tone all's over now master upon which Mr. Jolter giving himself over for lost exclaimed with the utmost horror Lord have mercy upon us Christ have mercy upon us and repeated this supplication as it were mechanically until the master undiseived him by explaining the meaning of what he had said ensuring him that the school was over such a sudden transition from fear to joy occasioned a violent agitation both in his mind and body and it was a full quarter of an hour before he recovered the right use of his organs by this time the weather cleared up the wind began to blow again from the right corner and the spires of Calais appeared at the distance of five leagues so that the countenances of all on board lighted up with joyous expectation and Peregrine venturing to go down into the cabin comforted his governor with an account of the happy turn of their affairs Jolter transported with the thought of a speedy landing began to launch out in praise of that country for which they were bound he observed that France was the land of politeness and hospitality which were conspicuous in the behaviour of all ranks and degrees from the peer to the peasant that a gentleman and a foreigner far from being insulted and imposed upon by the lower class of people as in England was treated with the utmost reverence, candour and respect and their fields were fertile their climate pure and healthy their farmers rich and industrious the subjects in general the happiest of men he would have prosecuted this favourite theme still father this pupil been obliged to run upon deck in consequence of certain warnings he received from his stomach the skipper seeing his condition very honestly reminded him of the cold ham and fowls with a basket of wine which he had ordered to be sent on board and asked if he would have the cloth laid below he could not have chosen a more seasonable opportunity of manifesting his own disinterestedness he made rye faces at the mention of food bidding him for heaven's sake talk no more on that subject he then descended into the cabin and put the same question to Jolta who he knew entertained the same abhorrence for his proposal and meeting with the like reception from him went between decks and repeated his courteous proffer to the valet de chambre and lackey who lay sprawling in all the pangs of a double evacuation and rejected his civility with the most horrible loathing thus baffled in all his kind endeavours he ordered the boy to secure the provision in one of his own lockers according to the custom of the ship it being low water when they arrived on the French coast the vessel could not enter the harbour and they were obliged to bring two and wait for a boat which in less than half an hour came alongside from the shore Mr Jolta now came upon deck and snuffing up the French air with symptoms of infinite satisfaction asked of the boatman with the friendly appellation of mes enfants what they demanded for transporting him and his pupil with their baggage to the pier but how was he disconcerted when those polite candid reasonable watermen demanded a louis d'art for that service Peregrine with a sarcastic sneer observed that he already began to perceive the justice of his incomiums on the French and the disappointed governor could say nothing in his own vindication but that they were debauched by their intercourse with the inhabitants of Dover his pupil however was so much offended at their extortion that he absolutely refused to employ them even when they abated one half in their demand and swore he would stay on board till the packet should be able to enter the harbour rather than encourage such imposition the master who in all probability had some sort of fellow feeling with the boatman in vain represented that he could not with safety lie to or anchor upon a lee shore a hero having consulted pipes answered that he had hired his vessel to transport him to Calais and that he would oblige him to perform what he had undertaken the skipper very much mortified at this peremptory reply which was not over and above agreeable to Mr. Jolter dismissed the boat not withstanding the solicitations and condescension of the watermen running a little farther in shore they came to an anchor and waited till there was water enough to float them over the bar then they stood into the harbour and our gentleman with his attendance and baggage were landed on the pier by the sailors whom he liberally rewarded for their trouble he was immediately plied by a great number of porters who like so many hungry wolves laid hold on his baggage and began to carry it off piecemeal without his order or direction incensed at this officious insolence he commanded them to desist with many oaths and approbrious terms that his anger suggested and perceiving that one of them did not seem to pay any regard to what he said but marched off with his birthing he snatched a cudgel out of his lackey's hand and overtaking the fellow in a twinkling brought him to the ground with one blow he was instantly surrounded by the whole congregation of this canai who resented the injury which their brother had sustained and would have taken immediate satisfaction on the aggressor had not pipes seeing his master involved brought the whole crew to his assistance and exerted himself so manfully that the enemy were obliged to retreat with many marks of defeat and menaces of interest in the commandant in their quarrel Jolta who knew and dreaded the power of the French governor began to shake with apprehension when he heard their repeated threats but they durst not apply to this magistrate who upon a fair representation of the case would have punished them severely for their rapacious and insolent behaviour Peregrine without further molestation availed himself of his own attendance who shouldered his baggage and followed him to the gate where they were stopped by the sentinels until their names should be registered Mr Jolta who had undergone this examination before resolves to profit by his experience and cunningly represented his people as a young English lord this intimation supported by the appearance of his equipage was no sooner communicated to the officer than he turned out the guard and ordered his soldiers to rest upon their arms while his lordship passed in great state to the Lyon d'Archand where he took up his lodging for the night and was willing to set out for Paris next morning in a post-shaze the governor triumphed greatly in this piece of complacence and respect with which they had been honoured and resumed his beloved topic of discourse in applauding the method and subordination of the French government which was better calculated for maintaining order and protecting the people than any constitution upon earth with the prettiest attention to strangers there needed no other proof than the compliment which had been paid to them together with the governor's connivance at Peregrine's employing his own servants in carrying the baggage to the inn contrary to the privilege of the inhabitants while he expatiated with a remarkable degree of self-indulgence on this subject the valet de chambre coming into the room interrupted his harangue by telling his master that their trunks and portmanteaus must be carried to the custom house in order to be searched and sealed with lead which must remain untouched until their arrival at Paris Peregrine made no objection to this practice which was in itself reasonable enough but when he understood that the gate was besieged by another multitude of porters who insisted upon their right of carrying the goods and also of fixing their own price he absolutely refused to comply with their demand nay he chastised some of the most clamorous among them with his foot and told them that if their custom house officers had a mind to examine his baggage they might come to the inn for that purpose the valet de chambre was abashed at this boldness of his master's behaviour which the lackey shrugging up his shoulders observed was bien à l'anglaise while the governor represented it as an indignity to the whole nation and endeavoured to persuade his people to comply with the custom of the place but Peregrine's natural haughtiness of disposition hindered him from giving ear to Jolter's wholesome advice and in less than half an hour they observed a file of musketeers marching up to the gate at sight of this detachment the tutor trembled the valet grew pale and the lackey crossed himself but our hero without exhibiting any other symptoms and those of indignation met them on the threshold and with a ferocious air demanded their business the corporal who commanded the file answered with great deliberation that he had orders to convey his baggage to the custom house and seeing the trunks standing in the entry placed his men between them and the owner while the porters that followed took them up and proceeded to the douane without opposition Pickle was not mad enough to dispute the authority of this message but in order to gall and specify his contempt for those who had brought it he called aloud to his valet desiring him in French to accompany his things and to see that none of his linen and effects should be stolen by the searchers the corporal mortified at this satirical insinuation darted a look of resentment at the author as if he had been interested for the glory of his nation and told him that he could perceive he was a stranger in France or else he would have saved himself the trouble of such a needless precaution End of Chapter 35 Recording by Martin Giesen in Hazelmere Surrey Chapter 36 of the Adventures of Peregrine Pickle, Volume 1 This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org Recording by Martin Giesen The Adventures of Peregrine Pickle, Volume 1 by Tobias Smollett Chapter 36 He makes a fruitless attempt in gallantry departs for Boulogne where he spends the evening with certain English exiles Having thus yielded to the hand of power he inquired if there was any other English company in the house When understanding as a gentleman and lady lodged in the next department and had bespoke of post-shares for Paris he ordered pipes to ingratiate himself with their footmen and if possible, learn their names and condition While he and Mr Jolter, attended by the lackey took a turn round the ramparts and viewed the particulars of the fortification Tom was so very successful in his inquiry that when his master returned he was able to give him a very satisfactory account of his fellow lodgers in consequence of having treated his brother with a bottle of wine The people in question were a gentleman and his lady lately arrived from England in their way to Paris The husband was a man of good fortune who had been a Libertine in his youth and a professed disclaimer against matrimony He wanted neither sense nor experience and peaked himself in particular upon his art of avoiding the snares of the female sex in which he pretended to be deeply versed But notwithstanding all his caution and skill he had lately fallen the sacrifice to the attractions of an oyster wench who had found means to decoy him into the bands of wedlock and in order to evade the compliments and congratulations of his friends and acquaintance he had come so far on a tour to Paris where he intended to initiate his spouse in the Beaumont In the meantime he chose to live upon the reserve because her natural talents had as yet received but little cultivation and he had not the most implicit confidence in her virtue and discretion which it seems had liked to have yielded to the addresses of an officer at Canterbury who had made shift to insinuate himself into her acquaintance and favour Perigrin's curiosity being inflamed by this information he lounged about the yard in hopes of seeing the dulcinea who had captivated the old bachelor and at length observing her at a window took the liberty of bowing to her with great respect She returned the compliment with a curtsy and appeared so decent in her dress and manner As she had been previously informed of her former life and conversation he would never have dreamt that her education was different from that of other ladies of fashion so easy as it to acquire that external deportment on which people of condition value themselves so much Not but that Mr Pickle pretended to distinguish a certain vulgar audacity in her countenance which in a lady of birth and fortune have passed for an agreeable vivacity that enlivens the aspect and gives poignancy to every feature But as she possessed a pair of fine eyes and a clear complexion overspread with a glow of health which never fails of recommending the owner he could not help gazing at her with desire and forming the design of making a conquest of her heart With this in view he sent his compliments to her husband whose name was Hornbeck with an intimation that he proposed to set out the next day for Paris and as he understood that he was resolved upon the same journey he should be extremely glad of his company on the road if he was not better engaged Hornbeck who in all probability did not choose to accommodate his wife with a squire of our hero's appearance sent a civil answer to this message professing infinite mortification at his being unable to embrace the favour of this kind offer by reason of the indisposition of his wife who he was afraid would not be in a condition for some days to bear the fatigue of travelling This rebuff which Peregrineus scribed to the husband's jealousy stifled his project in embryo He ordered his French servant to take a place for himself in the diligence where all his luggage was stowed except a small trunk with some linen and other necessaries that was fixed upon the post-chase which they hired of the landlord and early next morning he and Mr Jolte departed from Calais attended by his valet de charme and pipes on horseback They proceeded without any accident as far as Boulogne where they breakfasted and visited old Father Graham a Scottish gentleman of the governor's acquaintance who had lived as a capuchin in that place for the space of three score years and during that period conformed to all the austerities of the order with the most rigorous exactness being equally remarkable for the frankness of his conversation the humanity of his disposition and the simplicity of his manners From Boulogne they took their departure about noon and as they proposed to sleep that night at Abbeville commanded the postillian to drive with extraordinary speed Perhaps it was as well for his cattle that the axel tree gave way and the chaise of course overturned before they had travelled one third part of the stage This accident compelled them to return to the place from whence they had set out and as they could not procure another conveyance they found themselves under the necessity of staying till their chaise could be refitted Understanding that this operation would detain them a whole day our young gentleman had recourse to his patience and demanded to know what they could have for dinner The garçon or waiter thus questioned vanished in a moment and immediately they were surprised with the appearance of a strange figure which from the extravagance of its dress and gesticulation peregrine mistook for a madman on the growth of France This phantom, which by the by happened to be no other than the cook was a tall, long-legged, meagre, swarthy fellow that stooped very much His cheekbones were remarkably raised his nose bent into the shape and size of a powderhorn and the sockets of his eyes as raw round the edges as if the skin had been peered off On his head he wore a handkerchief which had once been white and now served to cover the upper part of a black periwig to which was attached a bag at least a fort square with a solitaire and rose that stuck upon each side of his ear so that he looked like a criminal on the pillory His back was accommodated with a linen waistcoat his hands adorned with long ruffles of the same piece His middle was girded by an apron tucked up that it might not conceal his white silk stockings rolled and at his entrance he brandished a bloody weapon full three feet in length Peregrine when he first saw him approach in this menacing attitude put himself upon his guard but being informed of his quality perused his bill of fare and having bespoken three or four things for dinner walked out with Mr Jolter to view both towns which they had not leisure to consider minutely before In their return from the harbour they met with four or five gentlemen all of whom seemed to look with an air of dejection and perceiving our hero and his governor to be English by their dress bowed with great respect as they passed Pickle who was naturally compassionate felt an emotion of sympathy and seeing a person who by his habit he judged to be one of their servants accosted him in English and asked who these gentlemen were The lackey gave him to understand that they were his own countrymen called from their native homes in consequence of their adherence to an unfortunate and ruined cause and that they were gone to the seaside according to their daily practice in order to indulge their longing eyes with the prospect of the white cliffs of Albion which they must never more approach Though our young gentleman differed widely from them in point of political principles he was not one of those enthusiasts who look upon every schism from the established articles of faith as damnable and exclude the skeptic from every benefit of humanity and Christian forgiveness He could easily comprehend how a man of the most unblemished morals might by the prejudice of education or indispensable attachments be engaged in such a blameworthy and pernicious undertaking and thought they had already suffered severely for their imprudence He was affected with the account of their diurnal pilgrimage to the seaside which he considered as a pathetic proof of their affliction and invested Mr. Jolter with the agreeable office of going to them with a compliment in his name and begging the honour of drinking a glass with them in the evening They accepted the proposal with great satisfaction and respectful acknowledgement and in the afternoon waited upon the kind inviter who treated them with coffee and would have detained them to supper but they entreated the favour of his company at the house which they frequented so earnestly that he yielded to their solicitations and with his governor was conducted by them to the place where they had provided an elegant repast and regaled them with some of the best claret in France It was easy for them to perceive that their principal guest was no favourer of their state maxims and therefore they industriously avoided every subject of conversation which could give the least offence Not but they lamented their own situation which cut them off from all their dearest connections and doomed them to perpetual banishment from their families and friends but they did not even by the most distant hint impeach the justice of that sentence by which they were condemned although one among them who seemed to be about the age of 30 wept bitterly over his misfortune which had involved a beloved wife and three children in misery and distress and in the impatience of his grief cursed his own fate with frantic implications His companions with a view of beguiling his sorrow and manifesting their own hospitality at the same time changed the topic of discourse and circulated the bumpers with great assiduity so that all their cares were overwhelmed and forgotten several French drinking catches were sung and mirth and good fellowship prevailed In the midst of this elevation which commonly unlocks the most hidden sentiment and dispels every consideration of caution and constraint one of the entertainers being more intoxicated than his fellows proposed a toast to which Peregrine with some warmth accepted as an unmanly insult The other maintained his proposition with indecent heed and the dispute beginning to grow very serious the company interposed and gave judgment against their friend who was so keenly reproached and rebuked for his impolite behaviour that he retired in high dudgeon threatening to relinquish their society and branding them with the appellation apostates from the common cause Mortified at the behaviour of their companion those that remained were in earnest in their apologies to their guests whom they be sought to forgive his intemperance assuring them with great confidence that he would upon the recovery of his reflection wait upon them in person and ask pardon for the umbrage he had given Pickle was satisfied with their remonstrances resumed his good humour and the night being pretty far advanced resisted all their importunities with which he was entreated to see another bottle go round and was escorted to his own lodgings more than half seas over Next morning about eight o'clock he was waked by the valet de charme who told him that two of the gentlemen with whom he had spent the evening were in the house and desired the favour of being admitted into his chamber he could not conceive the meaning of this extraordinary visit and ordering his man to show them entry into his apartment beheld the person who had affronted him enter with the gentleman who had reprehended his rudeness he who had given the offence after having made apology for disturbing Mr Pickle told him that his friend there present had been with him early that morning and proposed the alternative of either fighting with him immediately or coming to beg pardon for his unmanally deportment overnight that though he had courage enough to face any man in the field in a righteous cause he was not so brutal as to disobey the dictates of his own duty and reflection in consequence of which, and not out of any regard to the other's menaces which he despised he had now taken the liberty of interrupting his repose so that he might as soon as possible atone for the injury he had done him which he protested was the effect of intoxication alone and begged his forgiveness accordingly Our hero accepted this acknowledgement very graciously thanked the other gentleman for the gallant part he had acted in his behalf and perceiving that his companion was a little irritated at his officious interposition effected a reconciliation by convincing him that what he had done was for the honour of the company he then kept them to his breakfast expressed a desire of seeing their situation altered for the better and the shares being repaired took his leave of his entertainers who came to wish him a good journey and with his attendance left Boulogne for the second time End of Chapter 36 Recording by Martin Geeson in Hazelmere Surrey Chapter 37 of the Adventures of Peregrine Pickle, Volume 1 This is a LibriVox recording All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Recording by Martin Geeson The Adventures of Peregrine Pickle, Volume 1 by Tobias Smollett Chapter 37 Proceeds for the Capital Takes up his lodging at Bernay where he is overtaken by Mr. Hornbeck whose head he longs to fortify During this day's expedition Mr. Jolter took an opportunity of imparting to his pupil the remarks he had made upon the industry of the French as an undeniable proof of which he baited him cast his eyes around and observed with what care every spot of ground was cultivated and from the fertility of that province which is reckoned the poorest in France conceived the wealth and affluence of the nation in general Peregrine amazed as well as disgusted at this infatuation answered that what he ascribed to industry was the effect of mere wretchedness the miserable peasants being obliged to plow up every inch of ground to satisfy their oppressive landlords while they themselves and their cattle looked like so many images of famine that their extreme poverty was evident from the face of the country on which there was not one enclosure to be seen or any other object except scanty crops of barley and oats which could never reward the toil of the husbandmen that their habitations were no better than poultry huts that in 20 miles of extent not one gentleman's house appeared that nothing was more abject and forlorn than the attire of their country people that the equipage of their travelling shed was infinitely inferior to that of a dung cart in England and that the postillian who then drove their carriage had neither stockings to his legs nor a shirt to his back the governor finding his charge so intractable resolved to leave him in the midst of his own ignorance and prejudice and reserve his observations for those who would pay more deference to his opinion and indeed this resolution he had often made and as often broken in the transports of his zeal that frequently hurried him out of the plan of conduct which in his cooler moments he had laid down they halted for refreshment at Montray and about seven in the evening arrived at a village called Pernay where while they waited for fresh horses they were informed by the landlord that the gates of Abaville were shut every night punctually at eight o'clock so that it would be impossible for them to get admittance he said there was not another place of entertainment on the road where they could pass the night and therefore as a friend he advised them to stay at his house where they would find the best of accommodation and proceed upon their journey betimes in the morning Mr. Jolter though he had travelled on that road before could not recollect whether or not my host spoke truth but his remonstrance being very plausible our hero determined to follow his advice and being conducted into an apartment asked what they could have for supper the landlord mentioned everything that was eatable in the house and the whole being engrossed for the use of him and his attendants he amused himself till such time as it should be dressed in strolling about the house which stands in a very rural situation while he thus loitered away the time that hung heavy on his hands another shares arrived at the inn and upon inquiry he found that the newcomers were Mr. Hornbeck and his lady the landlord conscious of his inability to entertain this second company came and begged with great humiliation that Mr. Pickle would spare them some part of the vitals he had bespoken but he refused to part with so much of the wing of a partridge though at the same time he sent his compliments to the strangers and giving them to understand how ill the house was provided for their reception invited them to partake of his supper Mr. Hornbeck who was not deficient in point of politeness and extremely well disposed for a relishing meal which he had reason to expect from the savoury steam that issued from the kitchen could not resist this second instance of our young gentleman's civility which he acknowledged in a message importing that he and his wife would do themselves the pleasure of profiting by his courteous offer Peregrine's cheeks glowed when he found himself on the eve of being acquainted with Mrs. Hornbeck of whose heart he had already made a conquest in imagination and he forthwith set it in mention at work to contrive some means of defeating her husband's vigilance when supper was ready he in person gave notice to his guests and leading the lady into his apartment seated her in an elbow chair at the upper end of the table squeezing her hand and darting a most insidious glance at the same time this abrupt behaviour he practised on the presumption that a lady of her breeding was not to be addressed with the tedious forms that must be observed in one's advances to a person of birth and gentile education in all probability his calculation was just for Mrs. Hornbeck gave no signs of discontent at this sort of treatment but on the contrary seemed to consider it as a proof of the young gentleman's regard and though she did not venture to open her mouth three times during the whole repast she showed herself particularly well satisfied with her entertainer by sundry sly and significant looks while her husband's eyes were directed another way and divers loud peels of laughter signifying her approbation of the sallies which he uttered in the course of their conversation her spouse began to be very uneasy at the frank demeanour of his yoke fellow whom he endeavoured to check in her vivacity by assuming a severity of aspect but whether she obeyed the dictates of her own disposition which perhaps was merry and unreserved or wanted to punish Mr. Hornbeck for his jealousy of temper certain it is her gaiety increased to such a degree that her husband was grievously alarmed and incensed at her conduct and resolved to make her sensible of his displeasure by treading in secret upon her toes he was however so disconcerted by his indignation that he mistook his mark and applied the sharp heel of his shoe to the side of Mr. Jolter's foot comprehending his little toe that was studded with an angry corn which he invaded with such a sudden jerk that the governor unable to endure the torture in silence started up and dancing on the floor roared hideously with repeated bellowings to the enjoyment of Peregrine and the lady who laughed themselves almost into convulsions at the joke Hornbeck, confounded at the mistake he had committed begged pardon of the injured tutor with great contrition protesting that the blow he had so unfortunately received was intended for an ugly cur which he thought had posted himself under the table it was lucky for him that there was actually a dog in the room to justify this excuse which Jolter admitted with the tears running over his cheeks and the economy of the table was recomposed as soon however as the strangers could with decency withdraw this suspicious husband took his leave of the youth on pretense of being fatigued with his journey after having by way of compliment proposed that they should travel together next day and Peregrine handed the lady to her chamber where he wished a good night with another warm squeeze which she returned this favourable hint made his heart bound with the transport of joy he lay in wait for an opportunity of declaring himself and seeing the husband go down into the yard with a candle glided softly into his apartment where he found her almost undressed impelled by the impetuosity of his passion which was still more inflamed by her present luscious appearance and encouraged by the approbation she had already expressed he ran towards her with eagerness crying Zunes, madame, your charms are irresistible and without further ceremony would have clasped her in his arms had she not begged him for the love of God to retire for should Mr. Hornbeck return and find him there she should be undone forever he was not so blinded by his passion but that he saw the reasonableness of her fear and as he could not pretend to crown his wishes at that interview he avowed himself her lover assured her that he would exhaust his whole invention in finding a proper opportunity for throwing himself at her feet and in the meantime he ravished sundry small favours which she and the hurry of her fright could not withhold from his impudence of address having thus settled the preliminaries he withdrew to his own chamber and spent the whole night in contriving stratagems to allude to the jealous caution of his fellow traveller End of Chapter 37 Recording by Martin Giesen in Hazelmere Surrey Chapter 38 of the Adventures of Peregrine Pickle Volume 1 This is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Recording by Martin Giesen The Adventures of Peregrine Pickle Volume 1 by Tobias Smollett Chapter 38 They set out in company breakfast at Aberveil, dine at Amiens and at about eleven o'clock arrive at Chantilly where Peregrine executes a plan which she had concerted upon Hornbeck The whole company by agreement rose and departed before day and they breakfasted at Aberveil where they became acquainted with the finesse of their Bernay landlord who had imposed upon them in affirming that they would not have been admitted after the gates were shut From thence they proceeded to Amiens where they dined and were pestered by begging friars and the roads being deep it was eleven o'clock at night before they reached Chantilly where they found supper already dressed in consequence of having dispatched the valet de chambre before them on horseback The constitution of Hornbeck being very much impaired by a life of irregularity he found himself so fatigued with his day's journey which amounted to upwards of a hundred miles that when he sat down at table he could scarce sit upright and in less than three minutes began to nod in his chair Peregrine who had foreseen and provided for this occasion advised him to exhilarate his spirits with a glass of wine and the proposal being embraced tipped his valet de chambre of the Wink who according to the instructions he had received qualified the burgundy with thirty drops of Lodinum which this unfortunate husband swallowed in one glass The dose, cooperating with his former drowsiness lulled him so fast to sleep that it were instantaneously that it was found necessary to convey him to his own chamber where his footmen undressed and put him to bed Nor was Jolter naturally of a sluggish disposition able to resist his propensity to sleep without suffering diver's dreadful yawns which encouraged his pupil to administer the same dose to him which had operated so successfully upon the other argous This cordial had not such gentle effect upon the rugged organs of Jolter as upon the more delicate nerves of Hornbeck but discovered itself in certain involuntary startings and convulsive motions in the muscles of his face and when his nature at length yielded to the power of this medicine he sounded the trumpet so loud through his nostrils that our adventurer was afraid the noise would wake his other patient and consequently the accomplishment of his aim The Governor was therefore committed to the care of pipes who lugged him into the next room and having stripped off his clothes tumbled him into his nest while the two lovers remained at full liberty to indulge their mutual passion Peregrine in the impatience of his inclination would have finished the fate of Hornbeck immediately but his enamorata disapproved of his intention and represented that they're being together by themselves for any length of time would be observed by her servant who was kept as a spy upon her actions so that they had recourse to another scheme which was executed in this manner He conducted her into her own apartment in presence of her footmen who lighted the liver and wishing her good rest returned to his own chamber where he waited till everything was quiet in the house then stealing softly to her door when he had been left open for his admission in the dark he found the husband still secure in the embraces of sleep and the lady in a loose gown ready to seal his happiness He conveyed her to his own chamber but his guilty passion was not gratified The opium which had been given to Jolter together with the wine he had drunk produced such a perturbation in his fancy that he was visited with horrible dreams Among other miserable situations he imagined himself in danger of perishing in the flames which he thought had taken hold on his apartment This vision made such an impression upon his faculties that he alarmed the whole house with repeated cries of fire, fire and even leaped out of his bed though he still continued fast asleep The lovers were very disagreeably disturbed by this dreadful exclamation and Mrs. Hornbeck running in great confusion to the door had the mortification to see the footman with a light in his hand enter her husband's chamber in order to give him notice of this accident She knew that she would be instantly missed and could easily divine the consequence unless her invention could immediately trump up some plausible excuse for her absence Women are naturally fruitful of expedience in cases of such emergency She employed but a few seconds in recollection and rushing directly towards the apartment of the governor who still continued to hallow in the same note exclaimed in a screaming tone Lord, have mercy upon us! Where? Where? By this time all the servants were assembled in strange attire Peregrine burst into Jolter's room and seeing him stalking in his shirt with his eyes shut bestowed such a slap upon his back as in a moment dissolved his dream and restored him to the use of his senses He was astonished and ashamed at being discovered in such an indecent attitude and taking refuge under the clothes asked pardon of all present for the disturbance he had occasioned soliciting with great humility the forgiveness of the lady who to a miracle counterfeited the utmost agitation of terror and surprise Meanwhile Hornbeck being awaked by the repeated efforts of his man no sooner understood that his wife was missing and all the chimeras of jealousy taking possession of his imagination he started up in a sort of frenzy and snatching his sword flew straight to Peregrine's chamber where though he found not that which he looked for he unluckily perceived an underpetticoat which his wife had forgotten the hurry of her retreat this discovery added fuel to the flame of his resentment he seized the fatal proof of his dishonour and meeting his spouse in her return to bed presented it to her view with the most expressive countenance Madam, you have dropped your underpetticoat in the next room Mrs. Hornbeck who inherited from nature a most admirable presence of mind looked earnestly at the object in question and with incredible serenity of countenance affirmed that the petticoat must belong to the house for she had none such in her possession Peregrine who walked behind her hearing this asseveration immediately interposed and pulling Hornbeck by the sleeve into his chamber Gadzook said to he what business had you with that petticoat can't you let a young fellow enjoy a little amour a young keeper's daughter without exposing his infirmities to your wife phew, that's so malicious because you have quitted these adventures yourself to spoil the sport of other people the poor husband was so confounded at the effrontery of his wife and this cavalier declaration of the young man that his faith began to waver he distrusted his own conscious diffidence of temper which that he might not expose he expressed no doubts of Peregrine's veracity but asking pardon for the mistake he had committed retired he was not yet satisfied with the behaviour of his ingenious health mate but on the contrary determined to inquire more minutely into the circumstances of this adventure which turned out so little to his satisfaction that he ordered his servant to get everything ready for his departure by break of day and when our adventurer rose next morning he found that his fellow travellers were gone above three hours that they had agreed to stay all the forenoon with a view of seeing the Prince of Cornvay's palace and to proceed all together for Paris in the afternoon Peregrine was a little chagrined when he understood that he was so suddenly deprived of this untasted morsel and Jolte could not conceive the meaning of their abrupt and uncivil disappearance which after many profound conjectures he accounted for by supposing that Hornbeck was some sharper who had run away with an heiress whom he found it necessary to conceal from the inquiry of her friends the pupil who was well assured of the true motive allowed his governor to enjoy the triumph of his own penetration and consult himself with the hope of seeing his dulcinea again at some of the public places in Paris which he proposed to frequent thus comforted he visited the magnificent stables and palace of Chantilly and immediately after dinner set out for Paris where they arrived in the evening and hired apartments at a hotel in the Faux-Bourg Saint-Germain not far from the playhouse End of Chapter 38 Recording by Martin Geeson in Hazelmere Surrey