 Hello everyone, welcome to another Narc Survivor YouTube video. Before I begin please hit that thumbs up button down below to show your support and cue. Narcissus envy their own children. Narcissus parents are very possessive and controlling of their children, but normally of one child in particular, the child who doesn't have strong boundaries, the child who doesn't understand how to respect their own needs and doesn't give clear or direct rules, which may be very different to how the other children treat the narcissistic parent, which is how the narcissistic parent will learn to single out this child for unjust treatment. As they learn that they are able to get away with certain things, to the point where they will become clingy, controlling and dominating and they will even begin to envy this particular child because the child keeps frustrating them, the child keeps preventing the narcissistic parent's plan or attempted action from progressing, succeeding or being fulfilled. Which then causes the narcissistic parent to feel upset or annoyed, as a result of being unable to change or achieve something. So then they seek to destroy their own child, especially as they age and especially as they go through puberty and adulthood. But it has nothing to do with their child as a person, the narcissistic parent envies their child's qualities, possessions and accomplishments and they may even envy their child's age or physical appearance or any physical objects that their child possesses. The narcissistic parent could envy anything that their child owns, to where they become bitterly hostile and evil-intentioned and they may even engage in wicked or criminal behaviour in an attempt to destroy their child because they're struggling to control their intense but unexpressed anger and they will envy their child more than they envy anyone else because they view their child as a clone of themselves, as an extension of themselves and even as a reflection of themselves. So their child is this clone that is out-thinking, out-smarting and gaining an advantage over their narcissistic parent and even achieving them and being better than them, to where they may be more wealthier or more famous than their narcissistic parent and they may be more successful with the opposite sex which makes the narcissist envy their child because their child is reminding them of their own counter productivity and how they never achieved what they wanted to achieve and instead they caused more problems and difficulties instead of solving them. The narcissist also envies their child because they separated from them and became their own individual while the narcissist didn't become a unique individual with a sense of self so the narcissist is not real, they're just pretending to be something they're not which is why they're heavily dependent on other people for regulation so the narcissist child reminds them of their own failure and makes them feel like a loser The narcissist views their child as a source of supply but also as a competitor or an opponent because they also view their child as an extension of themselves and they seek to use the child to play out their own unfulfilled dreams and fantasies because in their mind that is the purpose of their child, their child is an object, a tool that they use to create equality or fairness in situations where there has been some imbalance when fairness to balance a situation and to make it more equal and to relieve misfortune they live vicariously through their child rather than doing things themselves they listen to and watch their child's experiences and adapt their lives as their own and they will either join forces with their child to form a single entity or they will have mixed feelings and contradictory ideas about their child but either way they will try to have a second chance at life through their child the problem the narcissist has is that they cannot deny the fact that their child is a separate individual because the child can walk away, they can move to another country they can develop their own circle of friends, they can get married and have their own children which reduces undeniable evidence to the narcissist that the child is separate from them and it causes the narcissist to have mixed feelings towards them because in their minds their child is refusing to remain a child they're refusing to surrender to their role as an extension of the narcissist which makes the narcissist very angry at their child and they may see it as though their child is being pretentious or conspicuous as though they're attempting to impress other people and they will despise their child's sense of self-determination and of being able to make choices regarding the direction of their own actions including the freedom to pursue those choices because the narcissist is trying to secure their narcissistic objectives through their child and at the same time they also envy their child to the point where they want to destroy them so to alleviate their anxiety the narcissist resorts to control mechanisms to degrade their child to the status of a mere object a tool or a toy as if they have no feelings opinions or rights of their own so essentially the narcissist wants to depossess their child of life and reduce them to a corpse or a dead body to remove the threat of opposition which is why any indications that their child is alive will be greatly suppressed the narcissist will prevent the development actions and expressions of their child's feelings impulses and ideas they will keep a reign on their child they will restrain stifle smother while keeping them secret hidden and hushed up so that they become smaller and quieter and then the narcissist can avoid having to confront the fact that their child is separate from them or that their child is superior to them in accomplishment the narcissist envies their child so they try to control their child and they will do this through the use of guilt-tripping they may tell the child that they sacrificed their life for them so now the child owes them they may hold them to impossible expectations and they may induce in us may induce and us against the world mentality in the child because they feel threatened by other people competing with them for superiority and they want all the child's recognition for themselves but if the child does not believe in and follow the narcissist practices and give the narcissist their narcissistic supply then the narcissist will punish their child but they won't see it as though they're doing anything wrong they will understand that the behavior is wrong but they won't see it as though it's wrong for them to do it because in the narcissist mind they are a martyre or a victim they sacrifice their life for their child so now they feel entitled they believe that the child owes them because they see it as though they sacrifice their life for the child where they could not allow themselves to enjoy things or have the things that they wanted so now they see it as though it is their child's turn to do that for them and their child is led to believe that this is a privilege as though it means that they have a special bond with their narcissistic parent but this behavior is very damaging to the child it causes the child to feel guilt and shame and they may also feel very angry because their narcissistic parent won't let them go they won't let their child become their own person their own separate individual and instead they endlessly guilt-trip their child as though their child has to compensate them for merely existing the narcissistic parent sees their child's existence as an offense crime sin or wrongdoing because the child's existence is dependent on their resources so it has an advantage over the parent it demands their attention and commitment where they will see it as something difficult and unpleasant that they have to deal with and worry about so they will make their child feel guilty for as long as they exist because it helps to maintain the illusion and it prevents the child from separating from their parent but it requires very extreme amounts of control to where the parent has to control every part of their child's life with excessive attention to small details to things that might seem irrelevant or insignificant they will demand and expect obedience and submission from their child and to achieve this they will induce instability in the child so that they can become the child's external regulator and produce and provide a false sense of security and stability to the child's disordered and confusing life children are naturally dependent on their parents or caregivers but even as the child gets older the narcissists will try to make their child's dependence continue indefinitely to alleviate their fear of abandonment and of losing their child to do this they will prevent the child from becoming a separate individual through the use of controlling their behavior to delay their process of development to keep their child as a constant source of supply because then their child will always be there and they will see their parent as being superior or as an authority figure as someone who they should respect and admire because they've seen their parent's grandiosity and achievements which helps to regulate the parent and it provides them with narcissistic supply because all the child's wanted is to be loved and yet they've been manipulated into a situation where they are constantly given where they are being forced threatened and intimidated but to the narcissist this is like a dream it's what they've always desired and wanted someone who is always there whenever they need them to give them unlimited praise and devotion without ever expecting anything in return because that really is a narcissist's dream but there is no love in that environment it revolves around the narcissist's feelings of euphoria and gratification which is why whenever the narcissist is disappointed with their child that is when we see who they really are because the narcissist will become aggressive and confrontational and they will rage and even abuse the child because they want to destroy the child psychologically until they become subservient compliant and accommodating and they're prepared to obey the narcissist unquestioningly because they're envious of the child's authentic self they see it as a threat to their control and to their self image and how they perceive themselves so they want to kill the content of the child's mind so that the threat is no longer there they want to destroy their own child thank you for watching if you found this video helpful please give it a thumbs up share your thoughts in the comment section hit the subscribe button to receive the notifications if you would like to support the channel you can donate at paypal.me-naxabiver you can book a one-on-one one-on-one with me on my website it's naxabiver.co.uk thank you for watching and i'll talk to you soon