 Biggest obstacles that we face the chief obstacle that we face With regards to getting closer to Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta'ala with regards to getting to know Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta'ala And with regards to actually finding a state of inner peace in our life is our own nafs our own ego this nafs that we have it's a part of us and It is also an enemy within us that many as many of the great sages have told us that the nafs between your two sides is Worse than 70 sheaateen than 70 devils It is the reason why even in the month of Ramadan when the sheaateen are locked up Why we may still have a propensity to commit sin or a propensity to talk bad or a propensity to still be lazy It goes back to the nafs. It is the reason in our life Why we are unable to control our anger and we are unable to maintain Peaceful homes and peaceful home environments with our spouses and with our children It is the reason why when we are going out and about throughout our days why sometimes our desires are not able to be controlled And to be tamed it all goes back to this nafs, but as we progress throughout life You and I can age in the material world We can age physically, but it doesn't mean that we are maturing Spiritually the two are very very different Somebody has to actually put effort in to mature spiritually and put effort in to taming our nafs If we really want to be making true spiritual progress So it will continue to be the number one Enemy that we have the number one reason why we have so many problems in our life will continue to be the nafs until we start to actively work on disciplining this nafs and even then the struggle continues It's a lifelong struggle, but the main thing is that we have to be ready to take part in that struggle It is known as a spiritual jihad a spiritual struggle that we have to take and Just like the physical struggle. It's not easy There's days where we might win and then there's days where our nafs might win There's days where it will have an advantage over us and there's days where we will have an advantage over it But the first thing in order to really begin this process of disciplining the ego of disciplining the nafs is to even understand What are we taught? What is the nafs? What exactly is this this entity this soul this ego? There's various translations for it. The lower self is how it's often translated the lower self the ego that we have this is essentially your nafs and you can think about it in stages that there is a nafs Which is known as the nafs al-amara the evil commanding soul the evil commanding part of us which is Animalistic in nature which inclines towards carnal appetites in nature and this nafs comes out Even as someone progresses into the later spiritual stages, it can still come out It can still rear its its animalistic head when it wants to but that's the first nafs and then you continue to put Discipline in to continue to work on worshiping Allah to continue to work on teaching the nafs that it does not submit to Its own desire But it submits to what Allah wants and the more you and I get are in accordance with what Allah and his messenger Salallahu alayhi wa sallam have sent down the more At peace we will be as the Prophet Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says that none of you truly Believes until his or her desires are in accordance with what I've brought not only the actions But literally what you and I intend to do what we want to do Inwardly outwardly at the level of desire has to be in accordance with the Sunnah of the Prophet Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam to attain the state of Truly perfecting our iman and truly perfecting our belief And so it the nafs will try to hold us back from all of these different forms of Spiritual progress so you and I are in a situation where we're talking to someone and then they say something We don't like and then we just want to lash out at them start yelling start arguing that anger Where's that anger coming from? It's coming from an undisciplined soul because the most disciplined of disciplined souls the say it of all of creation Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he was able to control his anger entirely He only got angry for the sake of Allah not for the sake of his own for the sake of his own nafs And his he was teaching the Sahaba in this mission to perfect their character how to control their anger What is the majority of the reason why we have issues in our homes? Issues with our spouses issues with our children largely is because of anger because we're unable to control ourselves when that argument begins We can't we don't know what to say. We don't know what rather what not to say We just want to say everything that comes to the tip of our tongue. That's an uncontrolled nafs That's that's an example that when we are on our phones when we're on social media We see an image that comes up that we really shouldn't be looking at but we let our gaze lap We let our gaze look and now it impacts us that a black spot is created in the heart. What is that? That's the nafs when it's not controlled We know we should be waking up in the morning in the early morning these days very early four slots of fudger And we just let ourselves constantly sleep through it or we have a desire to wake up even earlier to pray that the Hajr prayer But we don't prioritize it. Why because we just want to sleep and sleep. That's the nafs It doesn't like doesn't like early mornings. It doesn't like waking up It doesn't like any real restraint. It doesn't like it We we know we should only be eating a certain amount of food per day But we continue to overeat three meals plus two snacks plus this plus that plus this and until we've had seven different meals in one day What is that? That's the nafs because the nafs doesn't like to be restrained It doesn't like to be held back and we live in a society which teaches you the opposite of restraint This is not a restraint society. This is a society which tells you obey your desires obey your thirst Go ahead and follow whatever desire you and I have but Allah says in the Quran Have you seen the one who takes his desire as his Lord or their or her desire as their Lord that that's not We cannot take our desire either you and I are worshiping Allah or we're worshiping something else Everybody is worshiping everybody is in a state of servanthood or servitude or slavery to someone we want to be Abdullah we don't want to be that slaves to our own nufus or slaves to our own desires But many times that happens any time we prioritize something other over what Allah wants Especially if it comes from our hawa or from our nufs in that moment We are just saying that you know Allah is less important versus what I want is more important And a society which teaches me me me me nafs see selfie all this entire movement Even this this idea of being obsessed with taking pictures of our own self What is that? What is selfie translated to in Arabic nafs see it's just about myself This this whole movement is constantly putting our self at the forefront, but we're supposed to be selfless people We're supposed to be people who prioritize others But until we start to really tame ourselves it becomes very difficult So let's understand the nufs in a little bit more detailed There are a few different components of the nufs that are articulated by scholars like the likes of mama India Lumedin where he mentions what are the main faculties within the nufs that will really start to cause trouble for us The first is your appetite the appetite The appetite can break down into the appetite the the the appetite for food and which then eventually links into Your carnal appetites and your sexual appetites, and this is really the main area Where we're supposed to be investing in controlling that any time or the faculty of discipline all Discipline is rooted in our ability to control our food intake and the Sahaba May Allah be pleased with them We're more concerned about what they ate and how much they ate then in doing significant abundant acts of External worship and they were also very concerned about doing significant acts of external worship But food intake where the food comes from it being pure and then making sure to eat in in respectable limited quantities This is a core part of our spiritual discipline Which we forgot even in the month of Ramadan, which is a whole month that Allah is trying to teach us to restrain ourselves We skip one meal throughout the day and we replace it with four meals at night if thar and then and then dinner And then we go to tarawih then we have another huge meal after tarawih then we go to sleep Then we eat wake all what we're just feeding the nufs. We just delayed It's just delayed gratification. We're supposed to be teaching ourselves is actual discipline So discipline starts at the level of food intake. That's the first thing and the appetite will be restrained Will be completely unrestrained rather when food intake is not established You very rarely see people who are in a state of extreme hunger or in a state of poverty Who act with a lot of arrogance or who just follow every single desire that they have no They have they're very much focused and concerned on That there is a state of humility that has been attained when that desire is contained So this is one thing that we very very very very much lost And so as the scholars they mentioned that the full stomach now The is one of the main roots of evil and one of the main roots of things And problems that start to start to occur. So that's where the appetite happened This is directly then linked to carnal desires and to one sexual appetite that once someone stops Controlling their food intake now it becomes very difficult to control their impermissible sexual desires and especially in the time We live in where you don't even need to be that physically present with anybody You can literally just be on a device and be scrolling on a device or watching a show or have access to the internet and all sorts of filth exist out there which can completely pollute you to a point where you can actually ruin What is meant to be a a faculty that's channeled in a permissible way You can actually ruin that through excessive following of one's sexual appetite and doing things such as pornography and others when When when when that will completely completely completely damage one's heart These are diseases if somebody was diagnosed with diabetes someone is diagnosed with cancer Someone is diagnosed with any other type of disease most certainly we would start to seek the cure We would go to a doctor we try to understand what are we supposed how can we improve? But these spiritual illnesses are far worse than physical illnesses Why because the physical illness once we leave this world it leaves with us But the spiritual disease it carries on the punishment continues or the effects of that continue into the grave and they continue into the Akhira and we ask Allah for forgiveness and that he pardon our sins because it can continue Perpetually into the next life if it's not tamed so it all goes back to taming these things in this life It's a little bit of work right now for an immense immense immense amount of reward an immense amount of blessings And it is not Haram to have a desire. It's Haram to act on the desire That's a very very important distinction to make that just because someone has desires doesn't make them a bad person Any type of desire it's when we say okay You know what I'm just gonna ignore it Allah says and I'm gonna give in and act on that desire so the appetite This is the first piece These are the two components of the appetite the physical appetite that starts with food And then it continues into these other carnal appetites and you usually see this is the Maqam of animals the Maqam of the station of animals that they have no constraint over their food They just want to keep eating and eating just this morning at my my cat I had forgotten to feed him and he's just loudly meowing meowing meowing meowing coming into my office Well, I'm working just loudly once he wants his food and there's no discipline There's not like a you know Let me just wait five minutes or ten minutes and just wait for him to be done No keeps going keeps going keeps going the human being when we don't eat We're not supposed to be like the animal We have to have a little bit of supper and a little bit of patience if we start to get angry and Upset just because we missed a meal that that shows we have a major major major work to do because we've missed the point Of what discipline actually is right animals They have to learn discipline and we have to teach it to them But Allah has taught us how to be disciplined through the his majestic book and through the messenger Sallallahu alayhi wa alihi wa sahbihi salam and so we have to read it and apply because the default setting of the human being that you And I are just operating under with especially having grown up in in the world that we've grown up in is to just give in to our Appetites it's to give in to our desires The second big area with relates to anger and relates to just an inability to control our Personality and anger is the root of arrogance Anger is the root of Argumentation many of these diseases these big big big diseases which are considered major sins of the heart many of these diseases stem from an inability to control our anger the one who can discipline their nuffs They do it by disciplining the appetite and by discipline disciplining their anger now real discipline starts to take place Real discipline starts to take place But when anger is out of control this results in a whole another set of problems usually problems between us and other individuals usually problems between us and our families and so you Evaluate where you and I are at with anger with how quickly we want to lash out at people and then with how much we actually do So there's one thing to want to do it and to restrain ourselves Hamdulillah, that's a very good thing if we can restrain ourselves there's a whole another thing if something happens to us and we just Completely unleash on somebody and we have no ability to control our anger and this is especially the case in our home environments, this is especially the case as the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam said the best of you Are those who are best to their families or the best to their wives and I am the best to my family sallallahu alaihi wa sallam He that was Extremely accommodating at home Extremely accommodating at home. It was not this type of environment where a little slip happens and just lash out lash out lash out Where are we at with our anger? There is no spiritual progress if we cannot channel our anger in the appropriate direction Which only means that we get angry for the sake of Allah to the right amount at the right time Applied with wisdom in the right way, which which is very very very difficult to do And so the vast majority of us the main goal should just be to control our anger to control our anger And this stems very much from what from the ego that sometimes you get offended. Don't you know? I am don't you know this what are you saying to me? This is all the nuffs. This is all the nuffs one of the that it's mentioned in the mention in the books That a man was walking around with with with a whole entourage, you know and someone got in his way Don't you know who I am don't you know just this this ego coming out or getting upset that how dare you get in my way? And and and one of the people of wisdom reprimand and say I we know who you are you were created from a drop of fluid From a drop of dirty fluid. That's what you're created from while you live this life You carry in between you in between your true sides excrement and you will go into the ground and you will rot as a corpse So that's who you are as a human being So if you if the ego comes out and this you many times tends to be a trait in us men I would say more so But but not always but the desire to just want to show the ego the desire that has to be constrained this Arrogant kind of pompness that that exists that has to be contained that that contained because we are we are who are we? We are Abdullah we are full of ins that we created the human being weak Allah says by ifa weak Very very weak if Allah wanted to in any any one of our organs or something just stopped working We would be done for we couldn't do anything. We would be completely crippled So why do we let the nuffs because the nuffs is all smoke and mirrors. That's what it is at the end of the Day, it's all fake stuff. It's all fake reality. It's not real. It's Waham. It's just empty thoughts. We think something It's not the case. We are in reality We are we're humble humble slaves before Allah We are incapable of anything if Allah does not will it as Allah says in the ground the human being you can't even that catch That create the wing of a fly if a fly stole something from you You can't even catch it can't even get it back So then who are we thinking but this comes from the anger that the nuffs has and then most of the argumentation and the problems that happen in our life are Especially when our family life come from this. I know people literally they've cut off their own children Because they were offended over something that was set Some after after spending years and years and years and years putting in the hard work to raise the children and then offended over An argument that happened and then not talking for years Sometimes even living in the same place in the same home and not speaking to each other Why because the ego is offended the way to control this is to learn how to apologize To learn how to actually say sorry to somebody. That's it That is a few words, but the nuffs hates it. It hates to say I'm sorry does not like it at all It wants to be told it wants to be recognized you once we put in a pedestal No, I know you you know you didn't do anything wrong I was the one who did wrong and then the nuffs likes it But it hates to be the first one to go and say you know what I made a mistake You know what I'm sorry Even if it wasn't the one who made a mistake to actually do that But there are then multiple other ways would talk about just in a second what to actually began to control control the anger And then the third main area is sloth and laziness and just distracted just general distractibility and this is the time that we are living in that the nuffs inclines towards not wanting to do anything at all Procrastination and just having everything done for it So it doesn't want to wake up in the morning. It doesn't want to pray fudger It doesn't want to recycle or on it doesn't want to pray any of the other prayers really all it wants to do is what? Keep pressing a button and clicking next show Okay, and then without even saying the next show now it the next show just starts and you just keep doing it Just wants to let it sit in a world of entertainment keep give them circus and give them food and let them just let their lives Pass away. This is the way that that that the Romans they they used to control the masses They just let this is how to control them you give them entertainment And so it just wants to keep scrolling the next video the next video the continuous continuous scroll the endless scroll next thing You know two hours have gone by and we miss the prayer we miss this that's what the nuffs wants to do distractibility this is a the amount of distractions that exists in the time that we live in it's unparalleled compared to what used to exist in in In the past that you'd need a person there or something there to distract you again We can just be completely by ourselves and still not be able to find ways to use our time wisely And so these are the chief ways some there's just three of the different ways the appetites the anger that then results in argumentation and arrogance and an immense amount of distractibility which results in just overall spiritual sloth and Percastination and now these these trade stakes when they are all existent inside of us We really struggled with spiritual development and when you struggle with spiritual development all sorts of other issues start to emerge anxiety stress Depression worry a lack of purpose not knowing what we're supposed to be doing all of these things began to happen And but the route is very clearly there Allah and his messenger Have told us exactly what we need to do in order to discipline the nuffs That the reality is that this concept of taqwa is the cure for Taming the nuffs because taqwa is to be conscious of Allah and mindful of Allah in every single moment and when someone is Really really witnessing that Allah is present and Allah is watching them and Allah knows exactly what they are doing Then it's becomes we will not want to just follow our desire. We will not want to lash out We will not want to be lazy We will want to have a we will have a very very very deep purpose and so the way that we go about establishing this we've been you know doing this Hamdullah for the most part in some portion of our life throughout throughout our life, but we have to then create a Dedicated plan there is the general kind of over-the-counter medicine for these diseases and then depending on how deep rooted the disease is in someone There's the very specific prescription The general medicine that to tame the nuffs begins as we mentioned with disciplining the food intake This is mentioned by mama Ghazali in the area that on his book on controlling the appetite to discipline the food and it sounds That especially in our time it doesn't always make sense But that's why we have a whole month of this of literally not eating for That that from early morning until the evening from literally not doing that because it teach supposed to teach discipline So we start with that and all we need to do is cut back a little bit especially on days when the desire Beat us don't and this is what the scholars say they say literally don't give your nuts a dessert on a day When it didn't obey you so if you always eat ice cream every night or cake or whatever else it is There's has to be certain easy. Nope not having it just like an animal when you discipline You can't just give them treats all of the time because if you do that Then they're never going to actually listen to you when you need to use the treat for some type of incentive You have to treat the nuffs and exchange exchange with it in that way It is this constant exchange going back and forth with the nuffs and so limiting the food intake in some way shape or form Missing a snack that we usually eat whatever else it is keeping the stomach light to a degree But for those the that for the children in the room This is not an excuse for when your parents say to eat lunch to say no no no I'm gonna skip lunch or skip a meal. That's not what we're talking about This is when you're actually trying to just control our intake right listening to the listening to our parents our elders That takes takes precedence over over all these things and it's a major sin to disobey our parents So I just wanted to make sure that's very clear the second thing then That with regards to disciplining the nuffs is to sometimes just give it a lot of worship to do and a lot for us if we're struggling to pray five times a day may just be the five daily prayers if we're already doing the Five daily prayers and nuffs is now starting to find other ways to mess up our Ibadah or to mess up our relationship with a lot Through ostentation and through arrogant display of our actions and so on then we increase the amount of worship We now add in that the night prayer that the Hajj prayer We add in other dicker that we have to do throughout the day Whatever state that we're at we should always be ready to increase and to do more that as our teachers have taught us We should have a year that within a year Okay We have a certain amount that we do and then the next year comes around and we say okay I'm now I'm gonna add another 10 minutes of Ibadah or another dicker that I'm supposed to do or another Sura that I'm gonna recite every day or another portion of the Quran that I'm going to take on but increase it because what Happens is this is spiritual exercise and just like anybody who's ever done physical exercise You get to a point where if you continue to lift the same amount of weight for a long period of time You're not gonna have any impact on on if you're trying to get more more muscular strength or whatever else it is It's just going to remain flat You have to now increase the weight and then increase the weight more same thing spiritually You can't just do the same thing our entire life and expect it to work We have to add more both quality and quantity So this is the second thing and it starts with the five daily prayers And then all of us should have a portion of reading the sunnah do as of the prophet Alayhi Salatu As-Salam in the morning in the evening compilations like the where the Latif of mama haddad At the Rats of al-haddad some of these other compilations are good one the where the mama No, we we should take on these takes seven minutes to do They could be done in a commute and just listening to it till one memorizes it But this is better than listening to NPR or whatever other music whatever we're listening to just have a little extra Vicar that we do and then the third way to do it is by decreasing the amount that we speak by decreasing the amount that we speak And this is not that we just sit there and be silent But rather when we want to say something that is to praise ourselves or to make our self the center of the conversation Just hold back for that conversation when you want to say something to lash out at someone else Just hold that the restrained the restraint control the tongue control the tongue because enough what it likes to do is You're in the conversation. You're hanging out with people and now it likes to be no I want to be the center of the conversation. Oh, well, you know what I accomplished You know, I did this at work. I did that it's all about me me me No, no, let it be about other people every now and then just give it And now the nests will actually start to be disciplined and it won't want to be the center of conversation The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam spoke seldomly. He did not speak that frequently He said whoever that believes in Allah in the last day let let them speak good or remain silent or let them Mind their own business. So when we want to get into a conversation about other other people or topics that have no relevance to us Just to control the tongue these might seem like small things But the food intake being controlled increasing our Ibadah and then controlling our tongue You will start to see literally a spiritual alchemy begin to happen a spiritual purification Starts to happen internally and that is the point of our religion that the worship We do is not just for physical movements or ritualistic outward practices There is meaning to it and these are the meanings can be unlocked when we apply these things in the right way Just like when medicine is applied in the right way healing actually happens that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is the best spiritual healer And he gave us all of these different things to do and when we follow what he wants us to do Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam we will now start to have this internal healing and you will now go from a state where It seems like a drag to worship. It seems boring. We don't want to do it It's just I got to do it because I told I was told to to now someone actually wants to They start to taste the halawa the sweetness of faith and that is the direction that we want to trend towards And then what the best thing that happens and we'll end with this is that the problems that happen in our life Either that are just between ourselves and our own issues or between ourselves and other people ourselves and our family They start to be mitigated They start to go away actual harmony starts to enter into our life Because the nafs start to become disciplined and we start to realize the purpose of our life The purpose of our life is to worship Allah and to attain a state of purity in this life Whoever purifies themselves is successful And whoever does not is destroyed We want to be among the people who are successful in this life And the next and we want to be with Allah and his messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam In the next life and all it takes is a little bit of extra effort and making the intention and then putting in the Work right now for whatever moments of life that we have left We come from the Our desires to be in completely in accordance with what the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam brought and that you give us An immense immense increase in love for the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam yara