 Ladies and gentlemen, Tony Gaskins here in one second. How y'all doing tonight? I'm all in the hotel, in a beach house. My son having a want to pop in, try to keep my little word here. Want to pop in real quick and do a Q&A. Thank you so much for all of you who are a member of the Blessed Tribe. You know, it really means more to me than I can express and I can explain. For those of you who don't know what the Blessed Tribe is, it's just a group, YouTube started memberships on YouTube. So people who want to support the channel just that extra mile, another way to show love, show support and every Sunday night I do a Q&A if I'm available. Even when I'm on the road like tonight, you know, on the road and still made it happen. I mean, I hopped in here, just stepped in, just stepped back in, was with the family, spending time and made it in. You can check the link in the description to join the channel as a member. Also, I decided to leave the $5 courses up until January 1st. So, you know, it's been a little tough. It's been a little tough because these same courses, these courses, that's for $5, some of these courses are $200 courses. So, you know, uh-oh, y'all forgive me. My phone flipped over on me. I apologize about that, trying to get this headphone situated. Erica, thank you so much. God bless you, thank you for that blessing. Means the world. So, I wanted to pop in and answer some questions. I see y'all still saying hey to everybody. Last time I could not answer all the questions, so eventually I'll have to up how many Q and A's I do on YouTube to try to answer more of your questions. But for now, I'm doing what I can do and I really appreciate y'all. Let me see who else joined the super chat. I see Erica Pettaway. Thank you so much for that. Antogona, how crucial is it for a man if the woman is not in good terms, on good terms with her parents, but have legitimate reasons for it? How transparent should one be about family in the dating phase versus marriage? That's a great question. That's a great question. I'll tell you this. It's not really that big of a deal because when a person gets with you, the person is with you. So a man does not really care. Thank you, Christina Jackson. If you're cool with your family or not, to be honest with you, because he knows if you're not cool with your family, then there's a reason for it. So the downside of that is you don't really wanna tell that right away because you really don't have to introduce somebody to your family until about the 12 month mark when it's time to really start talking about engagement because if you're introducing people to your family in month one, then your family could be meeting somebody, 12 different people a year. So it's not really serious to even talk about your relationship with your family because what'll happen is if you happen to be dealing with a grown boy, then he may see that as an opportunity to take advantage. He may see that as an opportunity to say, okay, well, let me get over because she doesn't have any representation. She doesn't have any covering. And so that can work against you. Angelique, thank you for being a member. Can a man know you are the one but not take instant action to be who he should be for you if you are the one? I recall you saying the man will do what he needs to. Is there a timeline? A man can know you're the one but not take instant action because he may be setting his ways. He may be setting his ways and he may not wanna change. Renee Shepherd, thank you so much. Bless you. And so he may be setting his ways and he may want you to change for him. So just because a man knows that you're the one, if he's not ready to change yet or if he wants to have it easy, then he may remain a grown boy hoping that you will relinquish your power or compromise your standards, your self-respect to be with him anyways. Kimberly, welcome to the blessed tribe. Bless you. So it is not always instant that a man just changes right away. If y'all hear me answering the question, try not to put your question in there because it'll go up and people keep writing, it'll go up and it'll get lost. And so wait until you hear me slowing down and done with the answer and then drop it in there again and I'll see it. I tone it, is it okay to block my son's father due to a lack of respect? I've tried to talk things out but he has crossed the line disrespecting my parents. It's 100% okay, Ruth. Thank you for being a member. It's 100% okay to block him. You have to block all negativity. You got to block any and everybody. Anybody can get it. Anybody can get that block. If they don't want to do right, they're not trying to grow. You have to block him. You can't play with him. You got to let him know come correct or don't come at all. And when you play with people, they're going to take you for granted and they're going to keep playing with you. So you got to put that block on him ASAP and let him go all the way through the motions to get back in, to get back to you. And if he try you again, block him again. And if he had to be blocked for 30 days, that first time, the next time he got to be blocked 60 days. Like it just like when you get in punishment, just like if you get an offense, it might be a misdemeanor, you do something else. Now you got another strike, three strikes, you finna do some time. Same thing in school. You get in trouble, you might get a detention. After that detention, now you got in school suspension five days. After that you suspended a day, then you suspended five days, then you suspended 10 days, then you expel. The same thing, you can't levy the same type of response every time. It has to increase so a person know you're not playing. But the thing about baby daddies is, baby daddies oftentimes feel like they got your number, they know you. Cause y'all got a soul tie. Picking back in off of your how to get a man's attention video, how to stop focusing on guys who do not like you and giving that energy to guys who are actively showing interest. When you say how to, that's not something that is like a strategy. It's just something you gotta do. It's just something you just have to recognize and once you recognize you know better, now you gotta do better. So it's not about, now one thing that can help you is to understand the science, which I'm gonna do a video on it. I don't wanna spoil it on here. I'm gonna do a video cause I saw that question a few times about how we want people that don't want us. So look out for that video and you're a member of the channel so you'll see it. If you watching this and you're not subscribed to the channel, please hit the subscribe button on the channel, it's free for you. And you can set your notification so you don't miss a video. But I'm gonna do one on us liking people who don't like us and wanting people who don't want us. And kinda talk about the behind the scenes, the science behind it in my own words. Stephen, thank you so much for being a member. I broke up with a guy that I was dating about a month ago. We still have strong feelings for each other. So we still see each other. His mother recently told his whole family about me and now his, your question got cut off. So you broke up with him a month ago, trying to see if I see the rest of your question somewhere. But I don't. And y'all still see each other. The question is what you gotta ask yourself is why you broke up with him. So it's kinda like, you know, a person doing a crime and then you letting them out and they don't have to do the time. So you really playing yourself when you broke, when you break up with somebody but y'all still have strong feelings for each other. You broke up with him or y'all broke up. You have strong feelings. And that's what you gotta understand. He doesn't have strong feelings for you because if he had strong feelings for you, he would have did what it took so that you wouldn't have to break up with him. So you have strong feelings for him. And what happens is, is when you break up with a dude and then you keep on dealing with him, you allow him to go, you become friends with benefits. And for a grown boy, and not even just a grown boy, but for a lot of men, that is, that's the place to be because when you friends with benefits, you get the benefits of a relationship, but you don't have to give the consistency and the dedication and the focus and the faithfulness of a relationship. So if you're gonna deal with somebody, then you need to be all the way in or all the way out. Otherwise, you're playing yourself. And you don't wanna get caught up in that. Yeah, y'all putting the E question off. Inhale fast. I think y'all slow down on the question now. What if as a woman, you want to take the dating phase slow as in six months to a year of dating before being in a relationship with a guy? Does that push a guy away? No, it don't push a guy away. I mean, that's what he want. That's what a man want typically, but you know, that's too long. That's too long. When you date, you gotta date intentional because you don't have that many years. You see what I mean? You don't have that many years of life. So you can't be dating somebody for a year and then say, let's be in a relationship because what you been doing for the last 12 months. So now you don't waste it a year. And at that time, if it's not relationship material, he don't want a relationship. Now you just wasted a whole year. So when you go from dating to an exclusive relationship, that needs to be around a three month mark. And you should be talking to a person enough so that around a three month mark, you know if this person is worth moving forward with. And so that's where you gotta get to. Cause otherwise you're wasting too much time. And if you wanna take it that slow, that's a sign that you may be dealing with some hurt, some pain from the past, or and you're not confident because you haven't gotten the full knowledge of a relationship. Erica, let me get your question. Cause I thank you for that $10 you show blessed me with. I ghosted a good man. You ghosted a man. Okay. A year ago, because I was chasing my toxic ex. He emailed me to see if I was single now and wants to take me out on a date. Safe to go. Yeah, it's safe to go. It's safe to go as long as you gonna keep your legs closed. Do not go on a date feeling sorry for the man because you ghosted him. And that's what sometimes a woman will do is, and that kind of happened a little bit with me and my wife, you will end up playing yourself because what you have to realize is when you ghost a man, it might switch from, oh, he liked you to now, oh, he need to play you. Oh, now his ego is hurt. So now he coming back and say, okay, yeah, all right. Got some for, mm-hmm. Teresa McKenzie, welcome to the blessed tribe. Thank you so much. Y'all forgive me if I miss you if you joining tonight as a member to join the channel as a member. The link is in the description of the video. So you gotta realize men have fragile egos. And when you saw him, when you done signed this man, you done played this man, you done, you know, curved this man, encouraging hearts with Tiffany. Hey, thank you so much, bless you. So his ego get hurt. So then at that point a man could go in the competition mode. He go in the game mode and he said, okay, I'm gonna wake my time, I got something for you. I got something for you. So what you have to realize is to get past that. When you go back to this guy, you give him a chance. You need to take about 30 to 60 days to see if he is going to be, to see if he's going to be patient, to see if he's gonna be legit. M. Treese, Cherise, hey, bless y'all. Thank you. And to see if he butt hurt. And you'll be able to tell if he got some slick comments, if he being a little rude, look condescending. If he say, hey, let's go on a date. Y'all got a set Friday night at 7 p.m. And he stand you up and then he stand you up again. Now you know he butt hurt. Now you know you bruised his ego and he coming back for revenge. He ain't coming back cause he want you. He coming back for revenge. But if he come back and he a gentleman, he ain't trying to force you in the bed. He ain't trying to get you in the bed right away. And he taking his time and he building with you. He being consistent. Then you know this might be your husband. This might be somebody who, he's serious. Announce the let-os, let me get your question. One of my top supporters, I see his name in the comments all the time on the videos. Thank you. Announce the let-os for your support. Kids Dad helps me, I don't know what that EXT at times. Oh, maybe you meant out. Helps me out at times. No, not the EXT. You throwin' me now. What does that short for? Oh, extra. Oh, okay. Kids Dad helps me extra at times. Extra money. You could add that RA at the end of that night. Announce the let-o. You could add that RA, it wasn't gonna take up that much room. Extra money on top of child support. Let me use his car when I need it, even if not for kids. Help with kids outside of his weekend. No refrigerator rights. Could this cause an issue with the future guy? He don't have refrigerator rights. Well, yeah, it could cause, but that's your child's father. So he is not just doing for you. He doing for his kids. He helping you because you the mother of his kids. And so it's not even really about you. He has a soul tie with you for one. He thought enough of you to lie down with you and put a child in you. So he's helping you not just, he's helping his kids. It's not just about you. Now what you gonna see is when you get a new dude, then he may pull back some of that help because he gonna say, well, you don't need me. You got him now, so you don't need me. So it may not be a problem with the new dude because when the new dude show up, your ex may stop doing everything that he's doing. So you'll have to wait, but if he's still doing everything he's doing, then absolutely it's gonna be an issue with the new dude. At least now when the new dude gets refrigerator rights, it'll be an issue. And what we talking about refrigerator rights, one of my mentors use that term with me, one of my partners. And so what this talking about is when somebody can come in your house and go in your refrigerator. So for those of y'all who knew here, you knew the class. And so when the new dude get refrigerator rights, then that's when he gonna start to put his foot down and say, look, hold on now, hold on. You know what I'm saying? That's your ex. You know, get his kids on the weekend, child support, but all this he'll extra, y'all doing the most. Y'all still sleeping together. He gonna be wondering because he understands a soul type and how that works. See love, God bless you. Thank you so much for joining the Super Chat. Y'all helping me save up for this iPhone 11. I still ain't got it, but I'm about to. I'm working on it. I have had a male friend that has been there for me 20 years and now that we're both divorced, he is expressing his interest in more than friendship again. But I am afraid, how do I get over the fear? You don't need to get over the fear. You need to stay right in that fear. Because that's not really fear. That's your intuition. And because here's the thing, that's very, very tricky. And I'll be honest with you, as a relationship coach who does this every single day, I do not often see a successful situation where a man of many, many years goes from being a friend of many, many years to being a long-term partner where the relationship doesn't end. And here's why. The reason being is because if it's been 20 years, unless you've been married for more than 20 years, which I doubted because a man wouldn't be able to, shouldn't be able to come up in your life and be a friend, been there for you for 20 years. So I doubt he came during your marriage. So he probably was before your marriage. And so here's the question. If you knew him before you got married, what was he doing to let you get married? So what that mean is he must did not see you as the one or you didn't see him as the one. And so that's why y'all went into the friend zone instead of being together. And so if that's the case, it's dangerous trying to go out of the friend zone because y'all meant to be friends. But see what you have to understand, somebody asked me this and I put it on my video list. I'll do a video on it sometime. To be honest with you with me, there really is no such thing as a female friend. And see Tiffany, I'm about to miss your question again because you putting it while I'm talking. So by the time I finish talking, your question gonna be sky high. So say the question till you see me stop talking then put it on now. So what happened is when you friends with a man, when a man allows you to be a friend, that mean he don't see you as the one. That mean he don't see you, he doesn't see you as his wife. And so what happens is he like, okay, do you because I'm doing me, I'm going to get who I want. But now he get married, he get a divorce, you get, he married who he want to marry. Because if he wanted you, then he would have been like brown sugar and he would have came and got you. But he married who he want to marry, you married who you want to marry. So now y'all trying to come together and he's trying to come and be with you. That's kind of like sloppy seconds. It's kind of like you like a bandaid. You become like a bandaid 25 Jones, God bless you. So what happens is a man can say you're his friend, but that man will lay you down. He will lay you down. He will put you right on your back and do you just like a wife. But be hollering y'all friends. And what'll happen is you'll end up friends with benefits. You'll end up losing a friend because he didn't want you like that. And then now you lose a friend and you still ain't got love. But now you got a soul tie with somebody who just should have been left in the space of friend. So that's not your fear that you feeling is your intuition. Because I'm gonna tell you one thing. When a man truly, truly want you, when you the one, oh, he's not letting you marry nobody else. Especially if he was there before your husband and he's not going to marry nobody else himself. But men can be very selfish when they start thinking with their little head instead of the big head. So men could be very selfish and will come and take from you what he does not deserve and will not care that you but hurt. Cause he will tell himself, I deserve a little piece of this hill. Peach Cobbler for being your friend for 20 years. You ought to be just giving it to me. You ought to, you should have offered it to me for being your friend for 20 years. That's what he telling himself. And he'll soothe himself and make himself feel okay with doing your own. Tonya, I asked you on your last lie, Tiffany, I was able to get back up to your question. Do you think that it's too soon to get married after knowing someone for about a year? No, no, no, that's not too soon. Now, there's the thing now. It's a difference between knowing somebody, knowing of somebody, like knowing them and truly building with them. So what I mean is, if it's been a year and y'all talk every day, like a real conversation every day, then it's not too soon. If it's been a year and y'all talk once or twice or three times a week, then it's too soon. You don't know that person. You need to be in a committed, active relationship. Meaning y'all talk every single day, an hour or more every day, whether y'all with each other or on the phone for a year to be the right timing. Hello, I've been a member. Just changed my payment info. Are there going to be another time for the life coach class? Encouraging hearts. Okay, you changed your payment info. So that's why I introduce you as a new member. I don't know if I'll do the live class other than January. The live class is January 11th in Atlanta. So anybody who got a savings or a credit card, it's only $500 and I make it. And the reason why I say only because these same certification courses are 5,000, 6,000. Some people charge them 10,000. I just don't do all that. When I started teaching it in 2013, it was 1,500. But I decreased the price over time just because there's so many more courses out there. So in Atlanta on January 11th, I'll be doing a live training for the life coaches. But I don't know if I'll do another one after that, I really can't speak past that. But stay tuned, I'll let you know if I do. Brother Tony, can you speak on maintaining? Thank you for your blessing. Can you speak on red flags to look for while in a relationship with a man of God, pastor, prophet? When you say red flags, I mean, it's the same red flags. It's because he a man of God. You know, don't make his red flags any different than the average man red flags. You know, his red flags will be the same thing you're looking for. But to be honest with you, instead of having standard red flags, you got to have your standards. You got to know your standards and you got to know your deal breakers. So things that are against your standards, let's say you want to save yourself until marriage. Let's say you're born again version. So if he trying to lay you down and you tell him no and he keep trying to lay you down, then that's a red flag. If he's saying he a pastor, he a prophet, but his life is not lining up with the word of God, then that's a red flag. If he reminding you of a heathen and he no different than a man who don't even believe in God or a man who ain't seeking God, then that's a red flag. And it's more so a red flag for him because he knows better. And so his punishment is gonna be greater than a man who don't even know God. So he ought to look like, sound like, smell like Jesus Christ. He ain't gonna be perfect, but he need to be definitely working and his imperfection should not be in offense to you, meaning trying to sleep with you, trying to control you, trying to manipulate you, deceive you, dog you, I hurt you in any way. His imperfection need to be in him. Just recently blocked my son's dad because I'm tired of the situation shit we have. I'm ready for a commitment, but he says he's not ready for that because he knows he's going to mess up. What should I do? You need to shut the door and close all the way. Valencia, thank you so much for being a member because your baby daddy does not want you. He does not want you. And see, that's the thing of, that's why for everybody listening, I want you all to learn from this. If you do not have a child yet, or if you already have children and you don't want to have any more children other than with your husband, y'all got to close the kitchen. You got to close the kitchen until you marry. You cannot put the cart in front of the horse. You can't put the cart in front of the horse and then say, okay, how are we gonna go somewhere? Okay, now how are we gonna get over there? Because the cart in front of the horse at this time, at this point. So what's happening is you, you done messed it up. And so at this point, you got to cut your losses. You got to cut your losses and you got to be able to say, you know what? I played myself. I played myself. I'm gonna put my big girl panties on and I'm gonna move on with my life because I made my bed and I got to lay in it. You can't, you can't do the crime and then not try to do the time. So you gonna have to accept your mistakes and move on with your life. And cause when a man telling you, cause I'm gonna tell you, a man never ready to settle down. A man is never ready to settle down. A man is never ready to be faithful. That is a daily struggle. Any man that tell you otherwise he lying to you. That is a daily struggle. A man has to renew his mind daily. Every single day a man has to renew his mind and say, I'm gonna be faithful. Today I'm gonna be faithful. It's no different than an addict who every day, one day at a time, they try not to snort that powder. They try not to drink that alcohol. They try not to do whatever it is they addicted to. It's one day at a time. So a man never reaches a point in his life and for any man that's watching this, if you wait until the point that you get to where you tell him that you got it out your system, it'll never be out your system. You got to make a decision that you're not going back. You got to make a decision that it's out your system because it's never out your system as long as your heart beating. And I learned this, God rest his soul, my granddaddy. This is my mom and stepdaddy. He was 88 years old, 88 years old with a cathedral. And you know what a catheter is and I'm a little country. So I might not be saying it all the way right. But you know the catheter, for y'all don't know what a catheter or if you don't know what I'm saying, it's the thing, the bag that they stick into your penis to catch your pee. He was 88 years old with a catheter, still hiring prostitutes. It was a lady who used to do something strange for a piece of change in the neighborhood for five dollars. He still was paying that five dollars to get right at 88 years old. And I remember my grandma, she was a double amputee. And I put this in my first book, what daddy never told his little girl. I remember talking to my grandma. My grandma, she passed away at 82 years old but she probably was 80. And I remember and she was dealing with dementia. So she would repeat stuff and she didn't have any filter. And she told me, she'd say, yeah, Tony, you know, he came in here last night. He came in here last night and gonna talk about give me some. He's talking about give me some. And I said to him, you know I ain't got no legs. And you know you're on a walker. So you climb up here in this bed. How are you gonna get down? How are you gonna get out the bed? I can't help you, I ain't got no leg. And I was sitting there listening to my grandma. I'm like, whoa, you mean to tell me he 88 on a walker with a catheter and came to ask you to give him some and he ain't got no legs. And so she had one of the beds that had the little thing hanging from the ceiling. It's like a little thing. Ashley, thank you for being a member. It's a little bar hanging from the ceiling that you grab on to help pull her out the wheelchair into the bed. So that's how she got in and out the bed cause she dove in empathy from smoking. One of them I think was smoking and I think the other one was from stepping on the fishbone and got gangrene in the leg. And so when I heard that, that shift everything in me. Cause I said, you know what? That is proof to me right there that a man is nasty till he die. That a man want him something till he die. And so at 88 he was old. That thing he wanted to finish stand up. He just wanted somebody to lick around. That thing is not finished stand up at 88. And I don't think, you know, Viagra was out then. So you got to realize that's when I saw that I probably was 20 years old. I said, you know what? It's a route. If I'm waiting until I lose the urge to mess around I'll be dead first. I'll be dead and gone. So I got to make a decision in my mind that I'm gonna love one woman and be faithful. So that's what y'all have to understand. That's a true story. I ain't making that up. Nah, that's a true story. I am not Kevin Hart with fake jokes. This is a true story. Keisha, thank you so much. And so to every man listening to this, that day that you wait, no, it's not coming. That you got, I got to get it out my system. I ain't ready to get married. Men say that all the time it ain't out my system. It is not gonna be out your system. You got to make a decision and then find a question. Can a man recognize you as a wife within a few weeks? Yes, he could see that you are what he's looking for. When I sat down, I talked to my wife for six hours, our first conversation in person. We talked six hours and when I got up from that talk I knew she was my wife. I knew she could be my wife. I wasn't all the way ready to change. I was 21 years old, so I wasn't all the way ready. But I knew she checked off the box and she had everything, she had everything that a woman needed to have for me to see her as a wife. And that was our first real conversation. And every man that I talked to has pretty much said that, that they knew really quick, really quick, let's see. Now this is the hard part to understand that y'all got to understand about men. A man may know that you are the one, but that does not mean that he's ready. It may mean that he wanna stall you, that he wanna hold you, that he wanna keep you around until he's ready. And that's because he does not know that he will never be 100% ready. You got to jump when you 50% ready. You got to jump and you got to trust God for the rest. But most men don't know that, they don't understand that. So they'll try to stall you and keep you there and turn you into a long-term, long-time girlfriend five, 10 years waiting to wake up one day in some trig and say, oh, I'm ready for marriage. And he don't know that day is not coming. So you have to know that if you know your wifey and he has expressed to you that you are a wifey, that you got all the wife qualities he's looking for, but he not laying that broom out to jump that broom, then you need to pick that broom up and sweep him on out your space. Because that's when he needs to know like, look, I'm not gonna sit around here and wait on you. Evening, I might need a session. Now, for those of y'all doing, some of y'all are already my client one-on-one. You got to send an email to support at TonyGaskins.com. Black Spice, my girlfriend is dating my girlfriend. Okay, so you tell my girlfriend like your home girl. I thought you were talking about your girl. My girlfriend is dating a married man. Says he's very unhappy going to divorce his wife. She says he's fast and prayed and God told him my girlfriend is his wife. She believes him. What advice can I give? Y'all, excuse me, I had to. Now, send this to your girlfriend. Send this hell video to your girlfriend. Tell her to fast forward to the 40 minute mark, to the 39 minute and 43 second mark. Sister, you plan yourself. You absolutely 100% plan yourself left, right, front and center, up and down, back and forth. Since you need to do a walk around the park, you need to swim three laps, you need to get some baby powder and slap yourself three times on the left, three times on the right. And the reason why I say that, because you plan yourself so hard, 100%, you just said that you messing with a married man who is in adultery, who is in adultery, which is a divorceable sin. He in 100% adultery and he told you that he prayed and fasted and heard from God. Just God don't know that man. That man didn't get past the ceiling in his house. That man pray and get past the ceiling. The ceiling pushed his prayer back down cause God can't hear that when you in willing sin. When you in willing sin, God don't bless mess. He will help you get out your mess. That's what the word of God will do. But God ain't sitting there entertaining that man, telling that man that lie, but that man telling you that lie because what he's doing is he is a chunk. He's a grown boy. He's hurting, he's lost, he confused, not for your sympathy, but because he chooses to be, because he a grown, musty man. He could change his life in any moment and any day, but he chooses not to because he got naive women like you. That's gonna believe the lies that he telling and more so than lying to you, the man lying on God. Listen to me, you cannot deal with a human being that is bold faced lying on God. If a human will lie on God, the almighty, you got to run so fast, you can't trust that human. You cannot trust a human that will lie on God because he is, right there, that's the bottom of the barrel. That's the 100% bottom of the barrel. That right there, you got to run so fast from this person because that man dangerous, that man is dangerous. And listen to this, y'all don't see, look, some of these memes will tell you the truth. And you've seen a meme that say, God will never send you another woman's husband. And so your friend got to understand that. You got to stop being desperate. You got to know who you are. You got to know who's you are. You got to love yourself. You have to set new standards. You're gonna need to learn what love is, what a marriage is, what a man is, what a woman is. And what you, who you need to become to attract the man for you. And the man for you will never be somebody else's husband, especially while he's still with that woman. Now, if they have their issues, infidelity, what have you, and they go through a divorce and he goes through a healing process, then now he's no longer somebody else's husband if they divorce for reasons that are divorceable. Not just cause he woke up one day and say, he tired, he bored, and he want something new. Poor, thank you for being a member. So understand that. Understand that. Hey, y'all got about 17 more minutes. I told my wife I'm gonna be on here one hour. Tony, how do you begin to forgive an ex that cheated and had a baby on me? Now hold on right quick. Crystal Gonzalez, thank you so much for your blessing. Hello Tony, quick question. How do I address men that send their number through social media because they are interested? I'm new to the dating scene and don't want to come off as desperate. And look at your picture. But you get the number. Okay, I see you got the hell laid across that eye and with that how laid across that eye, that's a seductive picture. Okay, and look like you got some pearls choking you. And so that's another sign of seduction. It looked like you got a tattoo on your left breath. That's another sign of seduction and it looked like you got some cleavage out. You okay, that's why you get numbers right there. That's why you getting numbers right there. You need to put you on a whole shirt. So you get numbers because your profile picture, it says, hiding ready, like little scissors. Shoot me your digits, I'm gonna give you a call. I might charge you standard rates or your provider might charge you more but shoot me your digits. Put you on a whole shirt sis. Just put you on a shirt. So that way when a man look at you cause see the way that little picture look, it get illusion of nakedness. So these men, they misreading you. They misreading you and it ain't your fault. It's not your fault but we have to understand perception. You got to understand perception. So you know, you got to understand perception. And when a man send you his number for one, that just automatically, that mean he a grown boy. So you don't even entertain those kind of men. KB, thank you for becoming a member. You don't even entertain those kind of men. That's not even something that you won't even ask about. But I'm just kind of, I'm joking about the shirt, the outfit, you can keep your outfit how it is. It's really not you. It's actually what I'm saying is that's a compliment. If a man see you on social media and he's giving you his number, that's a compliment to you. He compliment you but what it means is, tell you what this hill mean. What this hill mean is that your picture looks so good to him or so seductive to him or tempting to him that he's so afraid to approach you the right way that he giving you his number so that you can call him if you want to because he don't wanna ask you for your number because he fears being rejected. But that means that he's a grown boy, he's not a grown man, so he don't deserve your attention. He doesn't deserve a response. And so if he look good to you and you go through his page and it look good to you, you could respond and say, is that how you approach a woman? Where they do that at? Who raised you? You could hit him with a hashtag, hashtag who raised you? And then see what he say from there. And then see if he, now if he a grown boy, he gonna curse you out or he gonna blame you, he gonna flip it back on you. If he a grown man, he gonna say, you know what, I apologize. I just was so flustered. I was so caught off guard by your picture. It was so beautiful that I really didn't know how to approach it, forgive me. My name is such and such. I wanted to know if you're a single and if you are single or you open to meeting new people, he gonna switch his whole approach up. If he a grown man, but only respond to a man who look like he might have some potential. If you can't see no potential from what you can see, then don't even respond. Her mark, thank you so much for the support. It means a lot. On the journey to self love and healing from a three year relationship, how do I not let my past hurt affect future relationships? The way you do that is to get the knowledge in between. So what that means is you have to do what you're doing right now. This is video, you learning things, you getting new knowledge, you hearing different perspectives, you putting this all together. So when you get the new knowledge, what happens is you're able to label what you've gone through. So you say, you know what? Okay, when a man does that, that's abuse. So abuse is not love. When somebody does this, somebody does that. That's self hate, that's control, that's toxic. So now you able to see what you've gone through. You watch the game film, what I call it, meaning you look back at the game that was played and you find the mistakes you pointed out, you address it, you correct it. And then you move forward with new knowledge and knowledge turns into confidence. Knowledge is power because it turns into confidence. So now when you learn what went wrong and you learn what he did wrong, you learn what you did wrong, now that new knowledge equips you and prepares you to move forward so that in the future, you don't have to be scared in a relationship. You don't have to be insecure in a relationship because you already got the knowledge, you already got the messages. So in the link, in the description of this video, you'll see where it says for online courses and it has a link. I made all the love and relationship courses that I have, $5. So that is I don't know what percent that is off of them. That's 80% off. So I made all the love and relationship courses, 80% off, I think that's what it is. They're $5, the price go up on January 1st. So go and get every one of them courses. Go get every one of them courses and go through them just like you're doing schoolwork. Get your notepad. By the time you finish going through these courses, you ought to have a book full of notes that if you wanna type it up, you can publish you a book on what you learn from your past relationship and you can pass this down to your kids, your grandkids, the neighbor kids and you write all of this out and you get the knowledge and you go through and what you gonna do as you get new knowledge, you gonna be like, okay, that's what I messed up. That's what I messed up. Okay, that's what I missed. That's what I missed. That's what I missed. So now your next relationship, you sitting there rubbing your hand, you like, I'm ready for you, come on. What you gonna show them? Red flag, gotcha, got to go. Red flag, saw ya. But if you don't get the knowledge, he gonna be showing all kind of red flags and you won't even see it. Before you know it, you pregnant and you missed 100 red flags. Before you know it, you married, you missed 100 red flags. You in a relationship, you missed 100 red flags. Before you even know it because you didn't get the knowledge to learn what you should be looking for. Ashley, thank you so much for your blessing. The man I have been dealing with has been separated for five years, not living with his wife. She recently went to prison for fighting a woman. Still no divorce. Leaving right where he at. You can't deal with a separated man. You got to deal with a divorced man. You cannot deal with a separated man. If he been separated five years and he still ain't divorced, he ain't getting divorced. For whatever reason, he ain't getting divorced. And if she went to prison for fighting a woman, what's she fighting a woman about? The woman work at Burk King and got her order wrong or she fighting a woman over him. And if she fighting a woman over him, that lets you know he's still sending her mixed message. She thinks that's still her husband. He'll steal her husband. She think they still got a chance. So you plan yourself if you deal with a married man. Point blank period. Ain't no if, ands, and buts about it. There's no exceptions. You can never deal with a man who is not completely single. If he is still married legally on paper, then that is not your man and you cannot touch him because it don't take all of that to go get a divorce. You can go get a divorce. They won't sign the paper. It's a certain time period where you still can push it forward and still get a divorce. If he's not doing that, it's been five years. He don't want a divorce. He's still with her. But what he's doing is she's so lost. She's so broken. She's so hurt. She's so confused. She now is his mini poodle. So he treating her like a poodle. He treating her like a puppy to where he can lead her when he wanna lead her. And whenever he come back, she gonna be licking all over him, jumping all over him like he never left. And so he is her master. And so that's why they've been separated for five years and not divorced. And a lot of men put women in that position and a lot of women know they're in that position and won't get out of it because they don't want knowledge. So what'll happen is he wanna keep that situation but then come on and play with you. KB, can you do a video about Christian divine connections? Christian divine connection. I heard T.D. J's daughter, Sarah, Jason, her husband, Torrey, both are now currently pastors. They talk about how God divinely connected them. God could divinely connect you. But it's not a godly divine connection if you got connected while you were married. So if a man were married to a woman and then he meets another woman and then he leaves his wife for this new woman, that's not a godly divine connection. Okay, cause God not in that business, not my God, not the God that I serve. God not gonna take a man from his wife who helped him start his church, build his church, build his brand and give him to another woman. God ain't gonna do that. God ain't gonna do that. And so the thing about it is, is some of y'all, you come up on people and people gonna tell a story to justify their actions. And if they know how to speak and they know how to teach and they know how to preach, they can make that story sound real good. But God is not the author of confusion. Like somebody just said, thank you for telling me about that. And so in some of these situations, I done talked to the wife. And in some of these type of situations that's happening in the church, the wife doesn't let me know, doesn't let me know. Well, Tony, he met her at a conference and then a little while later, he told me we getting a divorce. So some of these men in the church that's moving on from their wife, it's because of what's at stake. And that's when a man, it's kind of like myself, I'm married, right? My wife, I work and the devil has sent me and showed me women who very business savvy. I mean, sharp, I mean, could get a bag, could take my brand and take it to the net level. I mean, how me making millions of dollars or women who they in position, they daddy is a millionaire. They daddy got a throne that I could assume if I get with this woman. I done met these type of women. But God is never gonna give me authorization to leave my wife for another woman. If my wife ain't done nothing to me, my wife ain't cheated on me. My wife ain't beat on me. My wife ain't dog me out. My wife ain't did nothing but help me be a better person. God is not gonna give me authorization to leave my wife because another one, another woman is in a better position financially or socially or corporately. God is not gonna do that. So what you have out here when somebody talking about divine connection, they need to tell you how they connect it. And what you're gonna realize is God went nowhere in the connection. That was they flash in the connection. Now, I ain't speaking on directly, but I'm speaking on directly and tell them they could come see me, sit down with me and talk with me publicly and help me understand. Help me understand if you ain't lying on my God because I ain't never known my God to send me a new wife if I'm married. Because now, KB, you can't believe everything you hear. You hear me, you can't believe everything you hear. And that's one thing about me is I don't play with God. I do not play with God. But see, I'm gonna tell you, today this is the thing, this is the thing. Men want a bag, men want some, men want some clout, men want some fame, men want men today, men in every area in all kind of circles. Men are leaving their wives for another woman because the other woman is kind of like, and it's kind of like if Venus or Serena Williams, let's say when they were single, if I bumped into one of them and they got that bag on them and they got all this fame, they got all this notoriety, you know? You could partner with somebody that's gonna help you, that's gonna help you. KB, listen to me. I was in the circle. I'm trying to tell you there was no divine connection. I'm trying to tell you they weren't both single. I'm trying to tell you, but you think somebody gonna come out and say that? You think a pastor gonna come out and say I was absolutely 100% married? And then met this woman and then decided to leave my wife for this woman? No, mm-mm, mm-mm. Ain't nobody gonna tell you that. Ain't nobody gonna tell you that. But that's like if I bump into a woman who got money, who got status, power, and I say, well, mm, this my purpose made. This my soul made. She could take my brand to the next level. And I just leave my wife just because my wife don't have that money or don't have that particular gift. And so I'm just moving on to a better position to be more financially set or to become famous. That's what these men doing today. The rappers doing it. And then they holler about some soul mate. They holler about purpose mate. That's a lot from the pit of hell. I already have two kids with my boyfriend and been together. Hey, this my last question, y'all, I got to go. Hey, babe. I already have two kids with my boyfriend and been together five years. Marriage seems to not be in the future. When should I walk out? Sis, that's a real tough question because you have kids. Now what I want you to understand is that your kids want their mama to be happy. Kids want their mama to be happy. And you gotta see if they super, super into their dad, they super, super love them. And he being a good man, then it's gonna be hard. But, you know, it's gonna be super hard. J.C. Law, she said, when asking advice from T.G. pertaining to a celebrity, please, please do not use their name. Thank you, don't use their name. Cause I don't like speaking name. I don't like speaking name. So I'm speaking in general overall about divine connections. For one, you gotta know the truth and two, you gotta know if that's real. Now, if you completely single, then I believe in divine connection. I believe me and my wife are divine connection. Candice, you have to think about this. Is you being with your boyfriend, breaking you down to the point that it's affecting your parenting and the way you treat your children? If you stressed and you depressed, if you crying, if you feeling frustrated and that's making you give your kids less time and that's, you know, making you be less of a mother, then yes, it's time to move on. And if a man, if you done been with a man five years and he won't, what's the caller? Missed perfectly, I didn't see your super chat. I missed that. So write it again, Missed perfectly, imperfect. Cause now you a member, so you could just type your question. But if you feel like you need to leave because marriage is not coming and it's breaking you down, then you gotta do that. And you gotta know that kids are resilient. It's a whole lot of people in this chat right now who was raised in a single parent home. But you know good to your children if you broken down and you waiting on a man to marry you. You listen, well you listen, you listen to made it to the chat. And my boy, you listen got that big bag. Now you listen come on in and just, hey, you listen we have me feeling blessed and highly favored. You listen, I sure appreciate you, off topic. But if okay, I'd like to ask, I was wondering why people really believe it's impossible for people to win the lottery. But yet there are people hitting the lotto. It's a rarity, but it is a possibility too. Well I believe that. You listen on the drink tonight. You listen to Adam's on the drink. Yeah, people winning the lottery. Maybe you relayed that to relationship. You listen. But in a relationship world it is you can win the lottery. Miss Perfectly Imperfectly, I was just letting you know your advice on offering to pay was spot on. Oh, I was disagreeing with the advice but it was thumbs up. Okay, I'm glad you come to tell me that. Miss Perfectly Imperfectly. I'm glad you come to tell. And y'all remember when we talked about that offering to pay when I said a woman should in this day and age offer to pay her half of the date. Key words offer, key words her half. I asked my 12 year old son. I asked my 12 year old son, I say son, if you were in high school and you went on a date and I didn't gave you the money for the date and you went on a date with a girl and I said and you got ready to pay and she offered to pay her half. I said, what you gonna think? He said, well, he said that means that she don't expect me to do everything. And I said, that's how you gonna feel? I said, so is that gonna make you like not like her? Respect, he said, no, I'm gonna respect her. That's gonna make me like her because she's not expecting me to do everything. I say, but you got the money, you like her. You can afford to pay for it, what you gonna do? He said, I'm gonna pay for it. Because I asked her to go on a date, but I'm still gonna respect her because she offered. I said, my God, 12 years old, 12 years old and this man dropping jewels. This man 12 years old and understand a simple concept and ain't even dating in seventh grade, ain't even dating. Yeah, the gentleman came on here right when I'm getting ready to get off. Thank you, Alyssa. Natasha, thank you so much. What are your thoughts on Facebook dating profile? Well, see, Facebook is so inundated by scam artists. It's so many scams on Facebook that that Facebook dating profile gonna be worse than matching E harmony and bumble and tender. That Facebook gonna be 10 times worse because you're gonna have them people from around the world running them scams. And there's people who sitting in other places around the world, America and all around the world sitting on there running them scams. And they'll talk to you every single day. They'll talk to you every day for three, four months. They'll talk to you four hours a day. And then they'll come and say, you know, my mom got cancer and she don't have insurance. And I'm just, I'm sorry I haven't talked to you in the last three days. I've been doing everything I can trying to get this $1,500 for the copay. And it's just stressing me out so bad. I really, really love you. I miss you, but I just been away. And you just got your bonus check for $10,000. You just got you some money or you got your nice savings. And because you didn't talk four hours a day to this person, your heart gonna say, I'll loan you, I'll loan you $1,500. And then boom, just like that. Hey, thank y'all so much. Well, I got to go. I went 10 minutes old. I told my wife I was gonna do this here an hour. I'm sitting in the bedroom cause we in a hotel and if I'm not in the living room my sons will be able to hear me in their room and I ain't wanna keep them up cause we got an early game tomorrow. We're on soccer tournament, all American soccer invite. Make sure you check the links in the description for Ulysses say he shot not Angelique Beretto in the chat. I don't know if she watched Martin, but now Ulysses don't be trying to do no charge backs now, hey, I sure appreciate you coming through in the clutch, don't be writing YouTube trying to do no charge back. And so, check the links in the description because I don't want you to write me on January 1st saying Tony, can you do the $5 courses again? The answer is no. So I want y'all to do my son right now they two and over in the soccer tournament, France. And so it's looking like they might be able to win the championship. They two and over, it's an all American invite. So it's kids from all over the United States in this little situation for five days. But y'all check the links in the description to make sure you take advantage of the $5 courses. And before 2020 ends, I took in our partner with Xander Insurance because I got a life insurance policy and I realized how many people didn't have one and didn't have their family secured. So I got the link in the description where you could get a free quote. And just to consider it, it's very inexpensive. I did not realize that my policy is $2 million and my payment is $100 a month. I didn't realize that I would have been had life insurance if that was the case, but I got it. So I reached out to them and said, hey, look, I want to help more people get their situation straight. And so they said, okay, Tony, we'll link up with you. Let's do affiliate. And so I put the link in the description. God bless y'all. We'll talk soon.