 I'm currently at the car watch, which I thought was a high octane place to talk about Michael Bay's new masterpiece, Ambulance. If you like Michael Bay films, Ambulance is pretty staple. You got Jake Gyllenhaal in there, which goes a long way. Gay Morpheus is part of this. A cute chick that I think I've seen once or twice before. I don't know her name. Just going through the... I went through that way too fast. Hang on, I'm gonna back up. You know, we're gonna stay right here. We're gonna do this right here. I'm just gonna put it in park. No one's behind me. I mean, it's freaking snowing out in spring in Minnesota. That's why I'm getting out. That's why I'm getting out of dodge. In this quick review, I'm gonna be sprinkling in action shots of me driving along with, of course, Michael Bay trailer shots from the film. I went into Ambulance fresh with some buddies. We knew nothing about the film. Didn't see a trailer. I assume Jake Gyllenhaal was an ambulance driver. Not really the case. He's actually a criminal. He, he robs a bank and they have to get away. They use an ambulance as a last second ditch and the rest of the film is basically speed, but with Michael Bay directing. And if the name Michael Bay doesn't ring a bell, he reminds you in this movie because there's several references to his past films, including The Rock, which is great. It's actually a lot better than this. So is Con Air. That being said, I'm a sucker for Michael Bay movies. The scripts are nonsense. The actors are over the top. Our shots are ridiculous in the best ways possible. He goes all out in this. There's no drone technology being utilized. And it's funny because I swear Michael Bay, I don't know if he has a kid or not. I assume he does. And he went in the backyard and saw his son Michael Bay Jr. flying one around and the kid pushed the button that makes the drone go into a flip because Michael Bay uses that flip trick probably half a dozen times in this film. The drone will go up the side of a building and go and spin and go right back down the building for no reason. It has no purpose in the movie other than look at this camera shot. They're they're really dumb. It's really bad. It's pretty bad when they use the drones full stop. There was one or two moments where it goes under a car that's crashing. That's about it. Otherwise, there are these weird overhead shots leaving buildings. They don't look good. They're not as crisp as the regular high def cameras in a week or so. I will be back to normal. I'll be in a new studio at my new place. But for now we're running loose. We're running wild like a Michael Bay film. Highlight of the film is easily Jake Gyllenhaal as bad guy. I don't have time to look up these character names and I certainly don't remember them. It's been over 24 hours since I saw the film. So most of that is completely out of my head. He and his brother will spend the majority of the time trying to outrun the cops in an ambulance. While the cute girl in the back is trying to keep a cop that they shot alive. If the cop dies, the rest of the boys in blue can shoot the drivers. No questions asked. But they want that cop alive. So it really does have that kind of speed style to it. It's Michael Bay. So the movie is of course over two hours long for no reason at all. Could have been an hour and a half in and out a nice meal. But we have to sit through it. We have to sit there and question why some of these things are happening. There's one moment that's very silly. I have to point it out. I just have to. It's not really a spoiler. It's just one of the many ways they try to outrun the cops. If you don't want to hear about it, this movie is a rental or something that you would watch on a streaming service. I don't think you need to go out and see it, especially when there's so many good movies coming out in the couple of weeks. If you didn't see everything everywhere all at once. I hope I said that name right. You should watch that way before this. And then we have the Norseman coming out. There's a new Doctor Strange. So this is just kind of kind of fly under the radar. And honestly, this feels like a big budget version of one of those kind of cheesy TV shows they make for older people. The only thing missing really was Jennifer Love Hewitt on a headset redirecting traffic. Anyway, back to the crazy part. So Jake Gyllenhaal calls in a favor from some cartel dudes that his dad worked with. And they're going to help them lose the cops by bringing out four more ambulances. And they're going to make a switcheroo underneath the bridge after they're able to kind of get rid of the boys in blue for a few minutes so they can do this. They're also going to spray paint a fifth ambulance, the one they're in, green. And that way they're completely inconspicuous. Michael Bay just played Grand Theft Auto, so he thinks this is how it works. They do a terrible spray paint job. It's kind of a funny moment. There's some decent comedy in this. I think Michael Bay does a good job with the humor. And it's like painting a bullseye on the ambulance. It's the most obvious thing ever, and somehow it works. All I'm thinking is, how about take a car, get in a car, still have the ambulances go out, but I don't know, maybe not be in one yourself. That way you get rid of the EMT in the back and the cop that's dying. As far as the Michael Bay movies go, this is definitely on the lower rung for me. I'd rather watch the first couple of Transformers films. I'd rather watch The Rock or Con Air or any of the multitude of 90s action films he did. Now that I think about it, there was also a police chief side story with his big-ass dog. We didn't really get closure on that dog either, unless it was an after-credits sequence I didn't see. But man, I feel almost empty not knowing what happened with the dog. It's disappointing. That was an arc I wanted to see get some resolution. Anyway, those are my quick thoughts on ambulance. Tried to spice up the review the best I could in the limited time I have. Hope you enjoyed it. Maybe think about subbing to the channel. I do tons of movie reviews, rants, reactions, anything movie related, I'm on it. Let me know in the comments if you saw Ambulance, if you loved it, or if you're like me and thought, yeah, it was fine. It was a decent way to spend a couple hours in the theater, get away from the real world for a little bit, decent action, some cool music. Otherwise, yeah, I've seen it all a billion times before, done better. But it's new. It's a new experience. Now, if you excuse me, I'm gonna go home and pack up my car for a 20-hour drive tomorrow with my wife and two kids. I can't wait! Yeah.