 Sshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, that's drunk. When perusing the list of the most expensive Super Nintendo cartridges, I feel like most people know or at least have a general sense of what these titles are. There's the Star Fox and Donkey Kong Country competition cartridges. There's stuff like Wild Guns, Higane, Aero Fighters, Harvest Moon, The Pocky, and Rocky games, but wait, what's this? Bronche the Bronche-asaurus? Shouldn't that be Brache-asaurus? Yeah, this game regularly goes for well over $100 for whatever reason, but is this game any good? Well, it's certainly not $100 level good, but it's an ordinary platformer that blends in with about a gazillion other platformers on the system. But what Bronke does have going for it, however, is an interesting backstory. See, this is an edutainment game, one of four quote-unquote health hero games published by Reia Systems, who also doubled as a medical equipment supplier. They also had a hand in games like Pacquian Marlin, Rex Ronan Experimental Surgeon, and the infamous Captain Novelin. What Reia Systems would do is find a developer willing to take on the idea of making a video game that teaches kids about diabetes or smoking or whatever. Rex Ronan and Captain Novelin turned out to be unbelievably bad, but Pacquian Marlin and Bronke the Bronkeosaurus, also known as Bronke Health Hero, were actually playable and, you know, not terrible. The goal of Bronke is to teach the player about how asthma works and how to prevent asthma attacks. The gameplay is your regular old hop-and-bop side-scrolling platformer with the caveat that you are occasionally quizzed out of nowhere about asthma, and you have to answer the question correctly in order to proceed with the game. You're also given all sorts of hints and factoids in between levels as Bronke shows you how to properly use an inhaler, for instance. You also have to make sure you manage your asthma as you go, collecting these lung things so you can properly breathe, I guess? Even the storyline plays into it. Bronke and his buddy Tracke both live in the prehistoric city of Sandsaurian, and one day it's hit by a meteor creating all kinds of dust clouds and causing asthma in all the dinosaurs. So to help clean up the air, they create a wind machine before the evil Mr. Rexo dismantles it and hides pieces of it all over the planet. Just because he can, I guess? Geez, what a jerk. So it's up to you to put the machine back together before the dust clouds return. And yeah, as I said, you hop-and-bop your way through a traditional side-scrolling platformer with the caveat not only being to avoid enemies, but to avoid asthma triggers like smoke, pollen, dust, viruses, and tar pits through six worlds divided up into a few stages each with a boss fight at the end of each world. Stuff like smoke and dust are the real obstacles here, the enemies are just kind of in the way. What's really weird here is that the more damage you take, the darker the screen gets. No pun intended, but isn't that a little dark for such a happy-go-lucky platformer? I get that the intention is to teach kids about asthma, but geez, having a mechanic that inhibits you from playing the game is coming out a little strong. The main thing the Bronchiosaurus has going for it is that it's two-player co-op. There's no saves or passwords here, so you'll have to beat this one in one sitting. I mean, if you really want to sit down and play a game intended to teach kids about asthma or first something like 40 or 50 minutes, but other than that positive, as a game, Bronchi is just blah. I'd give the platforming a pass if the jumping weren't so clunky. This is one of those titles where your character has to stop and plant both his feet in order to jump, which is pretty annoying. The game I'm reminded of when I play Bronchi is Super Alfred Chicken. I called that game aggressively ordinary, and I feel the same way here about this one. This game is aggressively ordinary. And I want to thank you for watching, and I hope you have a great rest of your day.