 Welcome to Dare to Dream. This is Debbie Dashinger. I am your host. The Dare to Dream podcast has been nominated for two People's Choice Podcast Awards and a Webby Award. Dare to Dream is ranked in the top 100 best podcasts in all of self-improvement on Apple Podcasts in the USA, and in the top 50 podcasts in several other countries. We thank you so much for getting our numbers there and for listening. Debbie Dashinger is a certified coach whose expertise is visibility in media. She coaches people to write a page, turn her book, take their book to a guaranteed international bestseller, and chose the system to be interviewed on media and podcasts. You can find out more at debbydashinger.com. The Dare to Dream show is sponsored by Dr. Dane Heer and Access Consciousness. That's Dr. Dane, D-A-I-N, here, H-E-E-R dot com and accessconsciousness.com where they do exquisite energy healing work throughout the world. Question, do you want to heal old trauma and know that the world is a safe place? My guest today is Denise Colette Lamarot, whose quest for healing from her childhood trauma and addiction combined with her education in Western and Eastern medicine created the Colette Technique for Core Trauma Healing. The Colette Technique is a very quick solution to healing old trauma. Present-day trauma can be released at a fast rate with rapid results such as freedom from anxiety, addiction, suicidal thoughts, cutting, weight gain or loss, auto-immune illness, emotional well-being, physical problems and dislike of the self and one's life. Having found extraordinary results in her practice as a healer, Denise today offers private sessions as well as teaching and speaking about the Colette Technique. You can find out more. Go to healingswithdeneese.com. I do want to have men. I welcome Denise to the Dare to Dream show. It is so good to have you. Welcome, welcome. Thank you, pleasure to be here. Yeah, pleasure. So folks, we're gonna deep dive into some healing conversation and I just got to start because you and I both said, we should have been taping this, we should have been recording it and I loved this conversation. I think it's just a great jumping point to just be like deep diving right in the middle. So the conversation was to give everybody an overview about multitasking and you are mentioning your great multitasker and maybe it comes from being a single mom and that you have found that if one door doesn't open instead of bucking your head against it over and over, you find a different door, a different path. So I'm gonna let you go into that because that was such an interesting piece I've never heard before, coming from the shamanism world. Share with us, what was that? Well, it's called heron medicine. So as I said, you know, being a restaurant owner and a single mom, I mean, all I did was multitask and I live at the end of a private road where there's all these herons and I always look up, you know, whatever anything means and it's called heron medicine where if one way doesn't work, you'll go try another. If another way doesn't work, you'll go try another instead of banging your head against the same wall. And I think that that's very true for children of trauma, especially children of alcoholics, right? Because we're so used to one way not working and having to go try another because we were very much on our own, very much learned survival instinct at very young ages, the same way animals in the wild, the same way the beautiful heron does. As a matter of fact, speaking about animals in the wild and trauma, if you ever look at Dr. Peter Levine's work, he will almost always incorporate cougars, gazelles. He will almost always incorporate the example of how wild animals process trauma because he feels that if we as human beings could process trauma the way we're supposed to, we wouldn't have trauma, which really is the truth because trauma isn't the experience. Trauma isn't what happened. Trauma is the fact that we didn't get to process it. We didn't get to run it through. So let's look at a reaction. I yell at you, you wanna yell back at me, but you're a child and you can't. But the thought of yelling back at me or whatever it is you wanna say to me still is in your head. So the reaction occurs, it doesn't get processed, it's stuck, there's your trauma. And it's stuck, it goes down to the part of the brain called the amygdala. Another one gets stuck, goes in. Another one gets stuck, goes in. And boom, boom, boom. You've got this whole pile of experiences that as Harvard says, developing child study in 2012, I'm from Harvard, the behavioral skills that you used as a child that you needed for survival can be detrimental to your physical, emotional, and relationship health as adults. Yeah, because what's the thing we wanna do as adults when we get in relationships, fight or flee? Because we didn't learn that communication, right? We know how to do the beginning of a relationship. We know how to do the fall in love. We know how to do the end. We know how to do the dramatic breakup. We know how to do the self-sabotage. But that middle part, we never learned as children of trauma. Yeah, totally, 100%. This is such an interesting conversation. And I have a piece to add to this. Her own medicine, Denise, fascinating when I was a professional actress and singer for most of my life. And into my adulthood, I hit a wall, but it was really clear something new was being asked of me, but I was clueless. And I actually had no idea for three years, but I just surrendered, tried different things. And in the interim, I took this really interesting career course at a university and went back just to take this class in which we were promised we would be tested personality-wise every which way from Sunday. I love that. When I was done with the testing, like everyone else in the class, I had a private meeting with this HR woman from university who went through all our test results. Now, here's the brilliance. This woman, I am telling you, this was a God shot. This was an angel from heaven. So I'm meeting with this woman, just expecting she's gonna give me very pedestrian feedback. And nothing was too shocking because I know I score incredibly high in creativity, et cetera. But here's the piece that it's way more interesting than what my test results were and what careers I should have been working in. They showed the same thing over and over and it all made sense. What she said to me is, you are extremely bright, but I can tell that you had extreme trauma growing up and you had a very difficult childhood. And I'm thinking, what that F? I just took career tests like this job or that job, this type of, I was so baffled. And she said, what I saw in your results was street savvy, this extreme adaptability, this ability to stand back and observe and know what's needed and how to be in order to survive. And you're so street smart that you wouldn't need to take a course. You could go into a job and figure it out on your feet. And I'm like, I felt so vulnerable when she was seeing all of that in me. And it was a huge piece for me to realize this is a gift. This is like a strange trauma gift. To have that ability. Absolutely, I don't know if you know all of my background, but as I said, I was a restaurant owner for 26 years and I was really struggling because I was very successful and yet I was suffering from anxiety and no self-esteem, child of trauma, but I didn't know about it back then. And I went off to search Eastern medicine because nothing in Western was helping me back then. And I got certified in everything. I'm a rakey master, shaman, psychic, medium, all those things, but only to try to get better, right? Not to use as a career. And one day behind my restaurant, my office, which was my liquor room and my food storage got struck by lightning and burned to the ground. And so I had to rebuild this building to be a liquor room in an office. And it was so gorgeous, it became a wellness center. No intentions. I have no background as a wellness center owner, but I'll tell you something. I figured it out. It's just like you said. And before you know it, healers and gurus were coming from all over the world, but I figured it out. And that's what we do. That's heroin medicine and that's children of trauma. You know, also it's very interesting you speaking about the relationship piece. And it is very painful, isn't it? For a child of trauma who's already experienced difficult, aberrant relationships and probably the one thing they long for, most of them, not everyone, but most of them, myself included, you just want love. You just want like a healthy, sustainable relationship. And yet something else manifests over and over again. Can you talk about that? Absolutely. Let me tell you why on a number of scales. First of all, why do you long for love so much? Well, as a child, when the brain is developing, we have opiate receptors all the time in our brain and those opiate receptors have to get filled with endorphin chemical, dopamine or endorphin chemical. Now, endorphin chemical is the love of the mother. That's the original endorphin chemical. If we're not getting that, my mother was an alcoholic and I was the last of four children. I was not planned. We're not getting that. That's never gonna develop the way it's supposed to. So we're walking around as young children longing for love already. So it's ingrained in us prior to the age of five that we're not lovable because that's the way we're gonna absorb it. The brain of a child from womb to five only has an unconscious brain. So we absorb everything is true. So if somebody's not loving me, it's not, oh gee, my mother's having a bad day. It's, I'm not lovable. You know, Dr. Mate, Dr. Gabor Mate has this great story where he talks about being a two-month-old Jewish baby in hungry Budapest right before Hitler invades. And his mother calls the pediatrician and says, can you come and see Gabor? He won't stop crying. And the pediatrician says, I will, but I just have to tell you all my Jewish babies are crying. But what do Jewish babies know about Hitler, right? What do they know about genocide? Nothing, but they pick up my mother. If my mother's not safe, I'm not safe. If my mother's not happy, I'm not good enough. And that's that. So we've born at the young age, this emptiness, or we feel at the young age, this emptiness for love. And all we ever wanna do is fill it. And if we're children of trauma, chances are, we're not getting it filled for a really, really long time. So then why do we get in the dysfunctional relationships? Well, one, we'll settle for a morsel of love over abandonment any day, right? We'll do anything to not be abandoned. But here's an important thing. The line between love and pain gets skewed because the same person who's causing the pain is the same person I need the love from. And I can't, as a child, go without the love. So I will suppress that pain and accept any kind of pain to have love. And so we get in these dysfunctional relationships thinking they're right, but really what they are is just familiar. And or, I'm so used to that kind of pain, I can handle it. The other pain of actually trusting you, the other pain of actually taking a chance on a relationship with somebody who might not work out because he's so different from somebody we've ever been with before. No way, we don't know that pain, no way. We like our pain just the way we know it, right? So, and then those skills, as the Harvard study says, those skills that we used, like, oh my gosh, self-sabotage, runaway, freeze, fawn, fawn is when I'll fawn all over you to get you to like me. All those skills that we used will become detrimental to us in an adult relationship because they're not healthy. They weren't healthy in a child relationship, they were just survival skills. Talk about the Colette technique. Tell me, what is that like? How is that used and how do you even suss out someone's trauma in order to energetically help heal it? It's so cool and I'm so proud of it, you know? I, as I said, I went and studied Eastern medicine all over the place and got certified in everything and I was still a mess and I was trying to get, by this point I had become an alcoholic. I was trying to get sober. I found that Chardonnay could give me self-esteem and Chardonnay could give me take away my anxiety and Chardonnay could make me work even harder. So I became an alcoholic and here I am actually still owning a wellness center, owning a restaurant, being the toast of the town and relapsing and being in a 12-step program. So I sold the restaurant because I thought, maybe you can't stay sober when you're a bar. Okay, good thought. And I went off to India and I came back from India and I realized that I was missing something. So I sold everything and I went off in search of Western medicine and I actually had an opportunity to meet Dr. Gabor Maté who is this massive, amazing trauma addiction doctor in Canada and I studied with him whenever he came to America and I began to study everybody. I began to study the brain and the neurobiological system and trauma and trauma and addiction and addiction and addiction and I fell in love. But what I could see was how I could create a technique that could help people heal from these experiences fast, right, by using a mixture of Eastern and Western medicine and two reasons why this was important to me. One, I had already spent gazillions of dollars trying to get better and it had not worked. I had already spent years in therapy and with healings and it had not worked. And two, I wanted to find a way that it would scientifically make sense because I'm a child of trauma, I don't trust. So it's not enough for me to lie on a table, have you shake a rattle at me and tell me that I'm better? It's not gonna work for me. And I had tried everything and it is 2022, you know? It's 2020, we need to know why now. Why did that work? How did that work? So I created this technique, the Colette technique where we're able to override the conscious brain because that's just what's in the center of all this trauma. It's just right in the front of it. And all the traumas in the unconscious brain and we react from the conscious brain, 5% of our day and from the unconscious part of our brain, 95% of the day. So if we can sort of just pop over the conscious brain which is gonna say, I don't wanna heal or I'm not ready or I'm fine but anybody that's gonna come to me isn't gonna be saying that, then we can get you into a state of neuro relaxation, a little state of relaxation with energy work, right? Just a few minutes, you've done sessions with me, maybe two, three minutes before we can then actually go back to the experience where the blockage occurred, whatever it is we're working on. Let's say I'm working on an inability to bring in abundance, an inability to bring in money or an inability to bring in a job. Well, chances are we're gonna go back to an experience where my father told me I was nothing but a failure or your father told you you were never gonna be anything good enough or your mother said, you were never gonna amount to anything or what a joke you are, you always try these things and you fail. Well, you think you're gonna come out into adulthood and try different things? No, absolutely not. You're gonna take a job that keeps you safe, that might be boring, that might be dull, you're gonna do the same thing in a marriage, right? You're gonna marry somebody that's safe, that you might think is gonna give you safe because they're gonna have a great job, so you're gonna have the money and the house and the white picket fence, but somebody's gonna be a drug addict, somebody's gonna have affairs, somebody's gonna lose their jobs, right? And so it's all these survival skills that we got that turn out in the end, as Harvard says, to not work any longer. So when you come to me and you come for a session, you're ready, you're ready or you wouldn't be performing. So whether you come with a bad knee, whether you come with a bad relationship, whether you come with severe anxiety, whether you come with cancer, whether you come with psoriasis, these are all trauma-based. Trauma's gonna hold itself in the body. So what's a bad knee? Pride and ego, if you follow Louise Hay, which I do, pride and ego. I have a terrible left knee, okay? Of course I do, because I had pride and ego that I could get on the treadmill, no matter how much my knee hurt or do that class, because I was superwoman, right? So I ripped my knee apart, pride and ego. So psoriasis, asthma, Epstein bar, Lyme, all autoimmune disease. So let's talk about that for a second. Good, because of the list, I just wanna maybe iterate to people the list of what you can work on. And the one that I had in my brain was autoimmune, where, you know, no accident. But just so people have the overview, Denise deals with anxiety, addiction, suicidal thoughts, cutting, weight gain or loss, autoimmune system illness, emotional wellbeing, physical problems, general overall dislike of the self and one's life. Okay, so autoimmune, I'm very interested in that. The idea that out of nowhere, the body attacks itself. Right. And that there is no cure, right? What a great setup for somebody to feel powerless. And right, and to have things go wrong that are so debilitating and be in a position of being a victim. Like I already get a whole of that. So let's look at how it happened and how we fix it. So if you are a child of trauma, let's use this as an example. Let's say you're in the forest and a bear comes at you. Well, your brain is gonna say, holy smokes, it's a bear. It's gonna send energy to your heart. Your heart's gonna send energy to your adrenal glands. Your cortisol levels are gonna rise and you're gonna be able to run. And if you fell and broke your ankle, you'd still be able to get up and run, right? The way you can see a mother and lifted car up a child. That's adrenaline. What if you're a kid and you never know when the bear is gonna come home? Yeah. You are gonna activate in that cortisol level, in that survival mode, in those adrenal glands every minute of the day for the rest of your life. So what's it like? Debt, it's like you're in your driveway. You put your car in neutral and your floor in the gas. Something in that engine, guys, is gonna break. And by the way, I was just listening to an expert in anti-aging, like a world-renowned fellow. And we've all heard how important it is to not be stressed out and do yoga and meditation. But he was taking it to a whole nother level with regenerative medicine versus it's too late. And so chronic stress, like what you're talking about is also debilitating on so many other physical levels that will eventually manifest. At the very least, it will end our lives early. It does cut off years, just like smoking. Oh yeah, because it burns out the immune system. Absolutely. So if you've got your car in neutral and you're flooring the gas, something in the engine's gonna break. So we'll take out the carburetor and we'll put it in a new carburetor. We'll take out the hip, we'll put in a new hip. What I wanna know and what I do in the collect technique is I wanna know why your foot's on the gas pedal to begin with and I wanna take it off, right? And then we have the opportunity to rebuild the immune system. Now let me ask you, Denise, if somebody, because you mentioned about going back to the core source of something that happened, what happens if you're doing a session with somebody and however it is that you bring somebody back and say, you know, what was the event? What if they, it's like nothing, they're blank, they don't know. It happens sometimes, absolutely. And fascinatingly enough, because of my Eastern background, I'm able to see the trauma. So I had a client yesterday who saw nothing and I said to her, well, I'm in front of a house that has a burnt orange clay roof. Well, sure enough, that was her house in South Africa, right? So I'm able to, now I don't think there's any magic in me. I just believe that her unconscious is open into the quantum field. And since I'm sitting across from her doing a healing, I'm picking up exactly what it is that needs to be released. That's not remote viewing, that's actually psychic ability? I don't know that that is, I mean, you could call that psychic. I would prefer not to because it's not, psychic to me feels like somebody's predicting the future and I don't feel that I predict the future. I'm just able to take them back to the trauma. I'm able to pick it up. I'm able to be able to say, I see you in a room with four chairs and one of the chairs is a giraffe chair. Do you know where I am? Yes, that's my bedroom when I was a kid. I think it's just overriding their consciousness and being able to see into the unconscious because it's so ready to come out. So if we look at quantum physics, right? Or the quantum field, we're all connected in that. So the same way with the pineal gland activated, right? You think about Mary and all of a sudden Mary calls you. So her unconscious, she may be blocking these memories with her conscious brain, but it's still there. She's still reacting from it and it's ready to heal. So it's probably right up at the surface. So then it just pops out for me. I'm able to see it. I'm able to describe it. And I'm telling you, I am able to describe it. Like it's not, I'm in a room with two beds. The carpet is green, the lamp is purple. Well, no, I can speak to that because we, one of our sessions, you brought up my kitchen that I grew up in. And so out of that entire house, it was very relevant. And there's a reason why it was relevant. I mean, first of all, you didn't just describe the kitchen, but you described the fact that the kitchen was connected to a back door, which was pretty important for me growing up. Right. And because I used to have these flying dreams growing up, and in them I would wake up and literally my house was my house. It was completely lucid. I would walk through the kitchen, walk. We had a little sort of indoor, outdoor patio out into the back, out into my backyard, out to the big oak tree where I climbed it and then let go and flew. And so there's also something about that freedom that escape. That was a safe, really safe place for me. I mean, I was in a whole area. So I know this because you described it. I knew exactly where you were. Yeah, you were on the same page. So I know your gift in that way. And so for people who have autoimmune, they've got this flood of cortisol. It's continuing to go because it's like a record groove, right? They even into their adulthood, they're still functioning this way. How do they extricate themselves from this experience and create something healthy? When you go back and heal these traumatic experiences, you automatically remove trauma from the cellular memory, right? Now, instantly the brain refills with higher energy because that's what the brain does, right? If you cut your leg right now, the brain's going to say, everybody, let's send inflammation to the cut to heal it. That's exact same thing when you take out trauma. The brain's going to replace it with something that's healing, something of a higher vibration, right? Higher energy. You feel it when it goes through your body. Do you remember in our session, you can feel it go through your body. When you do that, you make a new program in the brain. You make what we call a new synoptic connection in the brain. So think about how, do you remember we used to have the desktop laptops? Sure. The desktop computers. You used to go to Staples and you would buy Windows and it was hardware and you would install it and it would become software, right? So that's what we're kind of doing now. We're uninstalling Windows and we're putting in a new program. And when you do that, when you take out, and it's not that you're just taking it out and then all of that, all of that gets out of our hands. That's why we use the feed, that's why we do that. But this is why we're doing it with the thought forms, we're literally going back and doing the healing. Let's use something extreme as an example, OK? Let's use sexual abuse as an example. If somebody's sexually abusing the person, let's use a girl for an example. A young girl is being sexually abused. of the unconscious brain, hopefully in her mind never to be seen again, right? But if we go back there, she's always going to be triggered by anybody that looks like that. She's always going to be triggered by anybody that acts like that. She's always going to be triggered by some sort of a sexual fear. She's certainly not going to trust if it was a father and uncle or brother or something like that, right? So if we can take her back and take her back to the experience for just a second and do something, and I'm just generalizing here, do something like kick that guy off me, punch him in the face at the age of 13, right? Knock him out the window and throw him out the door. She's going to feel her power back, right? And she's no longer going to have that fear because she's going to make a new synoptic connection in the brain because we redid the way it happened. We processed the trauma. We let her get out what she wanted to get out, what was stuck, what was frozen, and then you make a new synoptic connection in the brain, and it never comes back. I'll tell you something. I had so many emotions, vast loneliness, severe anxiety, panic disorder, addictions, self-hatred, all these things. I don't have them anymore, and I can't even find them. When I go to try to look for them, I can't even find them. I still get myself apart in a bit of, I hate the way you look in those jeans kind of thing, you know? But the real self-hatred is gone. Is there a difference between trauma and PTSD, and if so, what is the difference? I don't really think that there is. Post-traumatic stress disorder is basically the same thing. Some people will say when they talk about PTSD that they're talking about one certain experience, right? But it isn't. It's generally happened numerous times. So in my own personal opinion, I think they're basically the same thing. Post-traumatic stress disorder, you know? Hidden trauma. Just a different word for it. Yeah, the self-hate part you talked about is pretty big and it's pretty sad, right? Because so many people are so gifted and beautiful and extraordinary and all that, but they don't see that. How is that unearthed? Because that's a big program. Wow. But imagine where it came from. It came from your mother or father or siblings repeatedly telling you that you weren't good enough or showing you that kind of hate, right? In the way you behave. And the thing is we don't need to hear it a million times for it to affect us. A number of them are good enough. And so you get that, right? And when you're told often enough that you mess things up, you know, even let's take a simple situation where daddy is a businessman, but daddy is a bit cranky when he gets home from work. Daddy has a couple of drinks when he gets home from work. He's not an alcoholic. I'm just saying, you know, works really hard and mommy is always afraid that daddy's going to blow up, right? Don't do anything when daddy gets home. Don't do anything with daddy gets home. And then if daddy gets home and blows up, you're to blame. You did everything wrong. You did everything wrong, right? Or for somebody like me. I mean, if my mother said one more time, I have no idea how I had a fourth child. I never wanted one, right? And my siblings told me I was adopted. And my siblings told me they hated me. My siblings told me I smelled. My father certainly didn't want a fourth child. He was a workaholic. And so what happens then is you've got to use some sort of coping skill to get through your pain because you're not getting long. The endorphin chemical has to get filled in the brain somehow. So I'll go for food because I can't become an addict yet. And I eat and I become fat. And then I hate myself even more because everybody in the neighborhood is calling me the little fat girl. Okay. And then you take that with you into adulthood. To this day, I will still call myself the little fat girl, right? And I have to work on that. I have to work on it all the time. But that's how it happens. You know, it's not like one person says one thing to you and you get self-hate. It's compounded. It's not that one relationship in your life is tricky and you fail at others. It's it gets compounded, right? And then it becomes absolutely it has to be you. That's how it's absorbed. We have to really look at the way the brain reacts. Again, remembering wound to five, only unconscious. So we absorbed everything is truth. Six to nine becomes analytical. And so that's when we start to question the tooth fairy. And then let's look at a little, let's look at, I think, one of the most important things, the somatic experience. Okay. So what is a somatic experience? A somatic experience is when a traumatic experience happens as an adult that triggers a traumatic experience that I'm aware of or not aware of when I was a child. And my body goes back to the exact same physical, mental and emotional way that it felt when it was a child. So there's another burnout for the immune system, right? But here's, so here's what happened. I was doing a, I was doing a speaking engagement. This is the best way to describe it. I was doing a speaking engagement someplace and I went downstairs to use the bathroom and all these women were sort of crowded around this woman who was crying and she was saying that she was sick and she was really, really nauseous. And I said, I was just asking what happened. And then she was like, I don't feel well. And they were like, she doesn't feel well. But one of the women said to me, her boyfriend just broke up with her. So I said, do you mind if everybody was kind of doing Reiki around her and stuff? I said, do you mind if I take a crack at it? And so I was able to take her back to her kitchen. I don't think she, no, she didn't remember, but I said to her, your mother, she's incredibly slender. Like, that's the first word you would use to describe your mother. Yes. And she said yes. And I said, what happened when you were three years old with your father? He left Bingo. Her father left them when he was three, she was three years old. Her boyfriend now leaves her. She goes back into the same nauseous, somatic crying experience that she went into when she was three, when her father originally abandoned it, because probably she wasn't allowed to process it then. Either one, the mother was trying to be wonderful and kind and make it seem like life was okay. Or the mother herself was falling apart in the bathroom. So the girl wasn't going to try to have her issues brought up, right? So either way, there's the somatic experience that comes into adulthood. Totally. It makes me wonder, while I'm listening to you, Denise, about right now 2020, 2021 and beyond with COVID, with the isolation, with the lockdowns, the disconnects, the huge alteration in life, what is going to happen to people going forward individually and collectively? What kind of changes are going to happen? I mean, I can actually think of a lot of great changes that are possible because some families that are healthy are spending more time together. So there's more connection, more love, more involvement with the kids. And that's really positive. Some relationships that are good. You're also more generative right now because they're getting to spend more time traveling less. So there's positives, but there's also a lot of people going through anxiety. And no matter what, good, bad, or indifferent, I know for sure, because I'm in touch with enough people that I am hearing people going through some very significant changes, completely different, every one of them. But on the Richter scale, pretty big. Yeah. Yeah. And when you're not able to connect in person, it's making it exponential, the isolation and going through it. So talk about what is this right now? What do you foresee this is going to create going forward? Well, you've got a number of things going on. First of all, I love that you bring up the isolation because it's the number one thing for addicts and alcoholics, because we can isolate and we can drink and we can drug and nobody's going to find us. So drug overdose deaths, absolutely astronomical right now, suicide is up 400%, 400%, anxiety, depression, absolutely through the roof, right? So when COVID first hit, we all went into survival mode. We all went and got 800 rolls of toilet paper and all the food we could possibly get. And if you're a child of trauma, you went there even more like me. I kept going to the grocery store and going to the grocery store because children of trauma, we trained for this, you know, the world's going to end. This is our everyday. This is nothing for us. So we trained. But what's happened now is really interesting because it's gone on too long. We never know who's telling the truth. We don't know if there's a plan. We don't know if it's ever going to end and the key is we're trapped. Have no fight or flea ability. Right? We can't fight with anybody and we can't go anywhere. So that's childhood. You're right back in your childhood traumas. So it's really important today for everybody, I just did a video on this this morning as a matter of fact, for everybody to be honest and admit that they are messy and that they feel awful and that they are scared because they are being human beings. And we need to be our most humanness right now. We have got to share with each other our struggles because it is only in that love and that community and that communication that we're going to emotionally and mentally get each other through this because you have to look at this as a vast scale in America of all ages. I mean, what about the kids that aren't going to recess? Now if you asked me a question about an iPad a year ago, I would say to you, I'm going to be really fascinated to find out what the results of an iPad are 20 years from now with children because iPads are an addiction. They're an escape for kids and you will find the more violent the home, the more unstable the home, the more the iPad use and sometimes the more of the violent the game. But these days, what other option does anybody have? Right? And so the coping skills become necessary for survival. So what about the no recess, the no school, the no friendship? I worry more about the younger kids and how they're going to get through it. So I'm hoping my prayer is that we're going to come out of this soon. You know that this September time we'll see what happens when everybody gets to school and everything's going to change pretty soon. I hope because the effects are really childhood trauma being triggered as Max and people are really fried. So we're here in Connecticut and a week ago we had a hurricane and a tornado on top of everything else. People snapped. Yeah. And people really snapped. Totally. That was it. There was just not one more thing we could take. Not one more road closure, not one more, because it was locked down again. No power, you know, no toilets, no television. It was just boom. So people are really at their breaking point. I think it's important that we really, as I said, we communicate that with each other. We say, you know, our basic response is how are you doing? I'm fine. How are you? Don't say that today. Feel free to say I'm a mess today. Call somebody and say I'm really struggling. My anxiety is going through the roof and talk through with that person because we need to express and always remember that's the key to trauma. Did it get processed? Did I get to express it? Did I get to say, Mom, that wasn't fair? No. So if I can say to you and you can say to me today, Deb, I hate this, right? This is really bothering me. My son lives in California. I want to go visit my son, yet I've got to come home and quarantine for 14 days. And until a couple weeks ago, I couldn't even go visit my son. I want to be able to say those things so that I don't just pretend that everything's okay because pretending everything's okay is what got us into the trauma back up to begin with. Cool. All right. So speaking up, being real, having connections with people who can be there for us, listen and just, you know, chat through what's really going on, reaching out when we need to, not using the word fine, but using real words that we're going through. Denise, are there other practices that you might recommend or suggest that people can use right now during these long periods of stress or anxiety or not knowing this uncertainty? Absolutely. First of all, you know, I am one of those type A personalities like you. So for me to say, I'll make sure you meditate every day is a little crazy, but I do meditate every day. But I'll tell you, sometimes it's only five, 10 minutes and most times it's only five, 10 minutes. How do you meditate? Can may I ask you what is your, I'm going to show you guys something and put that okay. Five minutes is better than no minutes. 10 minutes is better than five minutes. And that's good enough because what happens down is for those few minutes, we put ourselves either in lotus or with your feet on the ground, the base of the spine and everything now is nice and straight, even just for those few minutes. So I'm going to teach you guys a little trick. The pineal gland sits in the middle of the brain. It's got these little antennae, but it needs the fluid to come up to activate the antennae, right? The fluid sits in the base of the spine. So when you talk about Kundalini awakening and Kundalini yoga, it's activating the fluid from the base of the spine up the spine into the pineal gland. Okay. So first of all, just getting in this position is going to be good enough. And remember, if you do this for 10 to 14 days, the brain will start to come on board. The first couple of days you do it, the brain's going to want to have lunch, the brain's going to need to go to the bathroom, it's going to need to drink a water, just try to sit through it, right? Then rub your palms together, place your palms up. Now you're in a state of receivership. And then just try to sort of breathe in energy from above, light, energy, whatever you want to call it, and bring it down the body, letting it go right out that base of the spine and focus on that. And then bring it in to the base of the spine, letting it go up and exhale up. Just do a couple of those is good enough to get you started because I know that a lot of your listeners out there are a lot of like my clients and nobody's going to do more than five or 10 minutes. So I'm not going to ask you to, I'm going to pick the most powerful stuff I can get you to do and get you to do it. Yeah. If you look at my website, you're going to find that there's a bunch of videos on trauma and addiction and relationships, but there's also by the time this airs, there's a master class up and also self healings, self healings on abundance, self healings on relationships, self healings on trauma that will only be 10 minutes long. So you can pop one of those on, you know, and then go on YouTube. There's some good stuff that you can get on, but grab something that's only going to be five or 10 minutes, right? Because you're not going to want to sit for more than that. If you can, isn't that even more wonderful? But what about, you know, a lot of times what I like to do, um, somebody who's just been on my show and he's coming back, uh, Glenn Harrells, who's a world renowned hypnotist. And I just, I love his work because it, it literally works for me. He's got a voice and a technique that it puts me out. So a lot of times I'll sit down just to listen to one of his recordings and I'll pass, pass out, which is honestly beautiful for me. Is that just as wonderful? Wonderful. Yeah. I do Michael Sealy sometimes before. Exactly. They work together a lot. It's wonderful. It's absolutely wonderful. And it works. And you wake up feeling better. Whatever it is you can do that's going to help you calm. At this time of COVID, when COVID first hit, I got so lazy, right? Because the gyms were closed and here in Connecticut, it was cold and it was rainy. And then all of a sudden about, I don't know, a month in or so, I was like, okay, this is not going well. But I literally got a trainer to come to my house, my friend, with a friend of mine, and we share it, you know, because I know how much the physical exercise is important to me too. Why? Again, because there's that endorphin chemical going into the opiate receptors. So everything is going into to make you feel better. Getting out, exercising, getting fresh air. But it's triggering everybody's traumas. It is. And unresolved pieces. There's people I know careers are up. There's people I know relationships are up. There's people I know who have been through a, you know, terrible breakup. There's people I know who moved to another country and all of a sudden they're feeling this, you know, where's my stuff? Where's my dog? Where's my people? And, and all across the board, I see a lot of people. For me, it was in the beginning. I was a mess in the beginning because I had so much happen at once. My goodness, it was overwhelming. And I found my way through. I just did a lot of trauma work, frankly, and showed up to feel the feelings. And now I'm benefiting on the other side. But I have a lot of very respectable people in my life who are now visiting their own traumas. So I like what you're talking about, because there's an element of routine. And I always say that discipline creates freedom. Absolutely. Right? If we know. A lot of gene sets like that. Discipline, your transformation. That's discipline. Yeah, around food, around the body and how we care for it, around the meditation or hypnosis or whatever you choose, working with Denise, etc. All these things are huge. And by the way, speaking of working with Denise, I have to say that's a big deal. Like I feel like doing energy work right now, this level of healing work, it's almost a bizarre perverse gift that some things in our face this deeply, because it's forcing stuff to come up. There's nowhere to run. If there's nowhere to run, I feel like the best gift is deal with it. Because your trauma being presented. Yeah, because it's trauma work. And it's never going to go away until you heal it. It's never going to go away unless you process it. It's going to stay buried in there. And it's going to affect your physical health or your emotional health or your mental health. And you see it. And if you look around and you look at hoarding and addiction and depression and all these things are an inability to do your trauma work. And everybody's got trauma. You know, and you even have to remember trauma isn't always what happened. Trauma can be what didn't happen. Trauma can be a perfectly trying hard couple, working couple that are trying to put food on the table and they're both working two jobs and the kids are left home with a latch key. And what are the kids absorb? Loneliness. Nobody loves me. I'm on my own, right? But the parents weren't traumatizing the children. They didn't mean to do anything. They were doing the best they could. But those are the things. If you know what I always say is if you find yourself repeating the same behavior over and over again, there's a trauma. If something happens and on a scale of one to 10, you go to a 15, it's trauma. It's triggered your trauma, right? Because stuff's going to happen to us and we're going to react. And if we react on a scale of one to 10 around a five, two and eight, okay, that's fine. But if we're up here, you know, no, Einstein says no conflict can be resolved from the same vibration in which it was created, the same consciousness in which it was created, right? If we don't change the consciousness, we're never going to change the conflict. Yeah. And I don't want to be unhappy. I was unhappy long enough. I don't want to be an addiction. And I'll tell you another thing that I don't know, because I don't have a Harvard study behind this. But if it is true that we reincarnate until we learn these lessons, I don't want to come back and do that childhood again. So I worked really hard to have done my trauma work. And that was how I created this work. There was a period, well, I created this work because of my own, my own need for it. And when I couldn't find the deep enough help that I needed, I created my own. But there was a time where I could not unblock what the ages one to four, I just, I couldn't, they were total blackout years. Because that's what happens when there's too much trauma. The brain suppresses the memory, the experience, the emotion. But what happens is when the brain suppresses, it can't begin, it can't pick and choose what it suppresses. So it will tend to suppress things in the surrounding areas. So that's why you'll have blackout years. But an important thing to remember, IE immune system, we see scientifically, you begin to suppress your emotions, your beliefs, you automatically suppress the immune system at the same time. You're weakening the immune system by shoving your emotions down. But going back to those blackout years, so I had these blackout years and I just, I couldn't find anything that could help me. And I wanted to go and try psychedelics, ayahuasca or something along that line. And every time I booked it and paid for it, my youngest son would fly home from California. So I knew that I couldn't go do ayahuasca for a weekend, right? So I realized that the universe was telling me, this is, no. And when I was finally able to use my technique, the Kulat technique to heal my own blackout years, I understood why. Because I realized that the universe was teaching me, if I had to use another technique to do it, well, then I would never believe 100% in mine. And that every time I'd have a client, if I felt like I couldn't get there, I'd always think I'd need to send them somewhere else. And I needed to learn that whatever came in front of me, cancer, sexual abuse, murder, death, anxiety, stress, addiction, that I could handle it. Got it. We're getting here to the end. So I'm going to end this with two fast-ish questions. My first curiosity is about all these great people that you studied with. You spent years traveling to study with Dr. Gabor, workshops with Dr. Joe Dispenza, Peter Levine, Louise Hay, Dr. Vandekul. Are there any stories or memory reference points of how these mentors influenced your life? Yeah. Oh my God. Dr. Mateo, I would say, would be the number one. I actually have a picture in my room of me on stage with a microphone and Dr. Mateo. I do not believe I was invited up on that stage. I think he asked for a volunteer and I was supposed to stay in my seat, but I was so excited. I had an opportunity to have lunch with Dr. Mateo and a few other people. And I've also had some private conversations that were either accidental or able for me to have with him and talk to him about my work and have him so casually be able to say, oh, you're overriding the conscious brain. That's how you can see all that because I couldn't get really anybody to explain that to me. You know, why is it that I could do that? And in addition to that, explain to me how I could that that I can feel, and I think you and I have done this, I'm able to say, okay, well, your left shoulder is really bothering me. And people are going, oh, my left shoulder is always killing me. And I'm able to say, okay, well, left shirt and shoulder is carrying too many burdens of the female. Let's go there. That's that's where the trauma is held. But I could listen to Dr. Mateo speak all day long and have I find him brilliant. And I think that trauma Dr. Vincent Felitti, who I heard speak, he was the founder of the ACE studies, one of the founders of the ACE studies that were done in 1998, which were kind of the landmark first studies on trauma. When he said to us, I never heard the word trauma in medical school. Wow. Yeah. And that was amazing. Physical, mental, emotional. I mean, that's amazing. Amazing. So I would say, you know, I've had a great many teachers. I've been blessed to have a great many teachers. I've been blessed to study with Eastern Medicine gurus and brilliant brain doctors. I've just been lucky. But what draws you, Deb, right? What draws you? I mean, that's my addiction. I could I could research all day long, tell me more. You know, where else are you teaching? I'll follow what's what's the next thing I relate to that. Because I want to know more and more and more and the more I learned, the more I can bring to my clients. Yeah. Yeah. Pain is a great motivator too, which is, you know, another positive thing, right? You're probably more open than most people to healing, which is a beautiful thing. Bless you for that. It's not the easiest road, but it is a really it's a road that pays back in dividends. So what about Dear to Dream? What are you next Dear to Dream? What are your future dreams and goals, Denise? My future dreams and goals are so right out there. I really want to get this work out there. And I don't want to get this work out there in a selfish way. If I want to be popular or I want to I want to have fame, it's just amazing. Well, you have a lot of clients. I mean, when you say, so I do, I want to be able to I want to speak. You know, I'm sorry that COVID hit because I was starting to be able to teach in front of 100, 200 people. And my goal would be certainly four or 500 people travel around and be able to do that. And then COVID hit. So I'm hoping that that will come back. I am teaching a master class. So that'll go up on my website pretty soon. And I do want to write a book at some point. But that seems to get shelved more than anything. But teaching is really is really my dream. And Dear to Dream guys, because every dream that I've dared to dream has come true. You know, you just if your passion is there. And if you just are hair and medicine, what a great way to end this to find out more about her go to healings with Denise.com. Actually, my website is Denise Collette.com. Okay, and that spell that for everybody. D N I S E C O L E T T E.com. Beautiful. It's an old website that was healings with Denise that would probably connect you back over. But I think that's been down for a while. Okay, Denise Collette.com. Yeah, coming on the show. This has been amazing. It's been my pleasure. Thank you so much for having me and having me. And I end this show with this quote from Claire Cook. If plan a doesn't work, the alphabet has 25 more letters 204. If you're in Japan, you can subscribe to the Dare to Dream show. And if you like the podcast, you can watch us on YouTube at youtube.com slash Debbie dashing her next week. Dr. Sue mortar is back for her fourth or fifth time. I am so excited to have her fact. She talks about the breathing that Denise mentioned, which she calls channel breathing. And Dr. Sue mortar brings science and spirituality through her energy codes and energy medicine. She's an absolutely brilliant woman. And dare to dream. Please don't just dare to dream dare to make all your dreams your reality. I'm a certified coach. And my expertise is visibility and media. I help you write a page, turn a book. I help you take your book to a guaranteed international bestseller. And I help you learn how you can get booked for interviews on radio and podcast and get massive results. For more information, go to Debbie dashing her dot com. That's d e b b i d a c h i n g e r dot com. Thanks for joining us today.