 So today we're going to talk about why you have not met the right man yet. Okay yet And just remember yet. Okay now really quickly. I just want to be transparent here I saw this title on Matthew Hussey's YouTube channel and all transparency. I didn't watch it So I have no idea if there's any similarities or I'm going down a different rabbit hole But I want to start by saying if you're like me you seek a healthy happy relationship If you watch my channel, I always say a juicy delicious healthy happy relationship And if you're not in one you might be thinking what's wrong with me? Why is it? I'm such a perfect person, but I can't find the one Well, let me say something out loud. There is nothing wrong with you. Let me repeat There is nothing wrong with you and there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting a healthy happy Relationship to be with the right person. So why is it that you have not met the right man yet? It's because it's not the right time. It's not the right time, but more importantly, it's not the right You're not the right person Yet. Okay, you just need a little bit of tweaking and my hope is I'm gonna be sharing with you five ways To tweak where you're at today to actually become a magnetic attractor for what you want I want you to think of like a needle in the haystack. Okay. I want you to start operating like an electromagnet I want you to just magnetize yourself to the possibility of achieving a juicy delicious healthy happy relationship So I want to share with you a post I did on instagram today And I want to read so what I do is by the way, there's a link below to join my instagram page so you can see these But today, um, I I found a meme by adam grant and the meme said The best cure for loneliness is not more frequent interactions. It's more meaningful interactions Many people enjoy solitude. We can spend up to 75 of our time alone without feeling isolated What matters most for well-being is the quality of connections Not the quantity and that just hit me like a ton of bricks. So let me share with you the blog I wrote that corresponds with this I said it's an interest it's an interesting space to go From being in a relationship where you live together like I did To being single and living by yourself The first thing is getting used to the quiet can anyone relate to that to the quiet that happens when you're not in a relationship And I gotta be honest. I miss snuggling with someone. I miss sleeping in a bed with someone. I actually miss spooning Okay, not from a poor me kind of way. I'm just I'm saying I enjoy it What's interesting is that I actually like my own company Where'd I go here? Uh, what's wait, what did I say? What's interesting? I actually like my own company and I don't feel the need to fill the time with Distractions like a lot of people fill their time with distractions. I don't need I don't have the feeling of of Filling it with distractions. What matters most to me is the quality of interactions And this is especially true As I've put myself out there on a dating perspective Instead of the old numbers game or making one's funnel so large. I'm sure you've heard this make your lana Make your funnel so large. Okay If it doesn't click in the form, okay, and I said I'm approaching the process with laser focus only Inviting in alignment and I'll be talking about that in a few minutes as well If it doesn't click in the form of enrichment then it's not a fit for me Let me add this dating profiles are a form of energy And how one approaches their profile is a reflection of who they are at that moment quality effort leads to quality results Okay, so why am I bringing this up? Because when you're by yourself when you're wondering am I good enough? Am I lovable am I attractive enough or worse? I'm the most awesome person on the planet and it's The problem is all men for those women that are following me And if you're a man following me the problem is all women It's fascinating to me how we humans have this capacity to say it's men's fault. It's women's fault. It's men's fault It's women's fault It's a mess out there Well, I get it. It can feel like a mess, but at the same time You have a choice You can operate From a place of abundance If you follow my channel, I always say it's reigning great man. It's reigning great man. It's reigning great men You can operate from a place of abundance Or you can operate from a place of cynicism from pessimism And i'll be candid with you. I am guilty of sometimes sounding pessimistic and cynicism Sin having cynicism When I talk about what a clusterfucket is out there and I call that realism, right? It's just being real I want to speak to that person who recognizes the the dysfunction that exists But the same time operates from a place of absolute knowing absolute trust absolute belief That you can actually magnetize That needle in the haystack, you don't have to burn down the haystack I want you to operate from a place of I am a magnetic attractor for what I want And so why this title says you've not met the right man yet What i'm going to about to invite you to do is make shifts in these five areas You most likely just need a little bit of tweaking You know, the reality is is we're not surrounded by single eligible people in our daily lives Most of us Many of us work from home or we work in environments where we're not meeting people day in day out and I want you to understand something up until about 50 years ago Most everybody who ever met and fell in love They met and fell in love in their tribe What I mean by their tribe their work environment the town they live in or literally hundreds of years ago in the tribe you lived in So anybody who says well, I want a traditional relationship Well, you need a time machine go back to an environment That afforded you to be around single eligible people and the biggest difference now versus then you see It used to be chemistry equaled relationship success See if two people had chemistry with one another they most likely already had lifestyles that were blendable Oh, let me pull up my chart here Um folks, you know my folks that are regular, you know my relationship iceberg chart, okay Compatibility. Okay. So chemistry is about attraction compatibility is about shared values Blundable lifestyles and emotional maturity Well hundreds and hundreds of years ago It was easy to be compatible Because most everybody kind of shared the same values where they grew up They had lifestyles that were easily blendable and more important Their maturity level was rather relatively equal to one another Because they grew up in a somewhat of a silo type of environment See we've adapted see chemistry doesn't equal relationship success Chemistry is important. We need that to get the engine running. We need that's the fuel to get the car moving But at the same time it's so critically important to Hold space to have the same values um And so and and to have lifestyles that are blendable. This is why you know, I'm I'm constantly You know pessimistic about those of you that are doing the long-distance dynamic And while I was in a long distance a short lived long-distance dating environment because we moved in together rather quickly I wasn't in a protracted type of environment and many of you have spent years Improtracted cyber relationships thinking, you know, once we need it'll all work out Well, you know, this is some of the dilemma most of you are faced with because you're operating Under this premise that chemistry equals relationship success and I'm here to burst your bubble You need to have shared values blendable lifestyles and most importantly emotional maturity and granted We are an emotionally dysfunctional society at least here in the united states. I can't speak for the rest of the world So how do we put the odds in our favor? How do we how do we go from? Why you haven't met the right man yet to you've met the right man Well, I said you need a little bit of tweaking in these five areas and I shared this in a previous video So if this sounds like a repeat, it's because folks Do you know somebody there's a there's an old saying how do you get to carnegie hall? Practice practice practice. How do you learn an instrument? You've got to practice it practice it practice it How we do anything in life is through repetition. So when some when I repeat myself habitually it is because Through this repetition. It is actually sinking in and I can't believe that I can't begin to tell you How many text messages I get they go, jonathan I've been listening to you habitually for months if not Years and I finally met the one because everything you said sunk in and you and you repeat yourself I'm repeating myself right now folks. I know I'm babbling here for a moment, but just bear with me It's because repetition is how we learn so the first thing We have to do to shift from yet to now Okay, how do we shift from yet to now the first thing is being our best selves Being in a good place in our lives physically emotionally logistically professionally being Attempting to be our best selves. It's not an absolute. It's about working towards being your best self This is why I'm such a big proponent of everyone doing personal development self-help and spiritual work And if you haven't read my book what the heck is self-love anyway journey of personal development self-help and spiritual work There's a link below to get a copy of my book. Okay, and all the books I recommend Is because it is through This work that we can actually okay. Let me put a pause here for a second And I really want to emphasize this. Um I had a woman write me on a dating Site this is match.com where I have a I've written this full like 300 character there's 4 000 characters to fill out. I filled out 3100 characters So literally the entire profile And she said you're an amazing writer. How were you able to write? so beautifully Folks, can I be candid with you? I was never a writer never been a writer and and for all in all transparency I use grammarly does anyone use grammarly? I use grammarly to edit the punctuation and grammatical dysfunction that I have when I write I didn't learn how to Write from my heart until I began doing personal development self-help and spiritual work See, it's once I began doing that that I was actually tapping into my heart So so I can actually write from that space. So my point is is is through this work Through this individual work. It actually is giving you the tools to be better in relationship most importantly communication tools Folks most of you all say communications the most important thing in a relationship. I agree But most couples they talk at each other And not with each other. I'm going to repeat that most couples talk at each other Not with each other if you're not familiar with the book nonviolent communication by marshal rozenberg I highly recommend you checking this out This will teach you more effective communication the ladies You know, you guys are no picnic at this. I watch tiktok reels I mean, it's so funny how women and this is with the parody on women Demonstrates the irrational way you communicate to us men Irrationally and then you wonder and then you point the finger at us and by the way for the record men are jackasses too Okay, so number one being your best self number two Clarity on the relationship you want In general clarity on the relationship you want and important piggyback on that is how to vet For that compatibility So first clarity I say this in almost every perspective coaching call client I always say jonathan or women come to me all the time jonathan. I know what I want I know what I want. I know what I want relationship and then they go through this proprietary coaching program I created and there's a link below to schedule a discovery call with me On this, um, if you want to talk to me about it And do you know what they say after this six week program what they all almost every single woman says Why didn't I why didn't they teach me this in school? Why didn't my parents teach me this? Why didn't I learn this before I married that knucklehead? See folks, we weren't most of us don't have clarity on who's actually compatible So if you want to become electromagnet See being an electromagnet for that needle in the haystack is about learning to really I how to Magnify your intuition You know, I've heard for years for decades women have this amazing intuition women have intuition. It's a woman's intuition Why is it I get call after call after call after call from women who have been relationship right? I've been used I've been used. I've been used. I've been well. Where was that fucking phenomenal female intuition See we actually have the capacity To fine-tune our intuition through Clarity right someone write this down clarity breeds confidence And confidence leads to better choices clarity breeds confidence and confidence leads to better choices Number three How to meet and how to flirt Believe it or not folks Prince charming isn't going to walk listen prince charming isn't going to knock on your front door A burglar might break into your home About ready to steal your television set and go wow, you're cute. Would you like to go out on the date? I mean folks you have to make effort to be seen but more importantly flirting is The reason why we have to learn how to flirt and that's not my area of expertise go google flirting That's not my area of expertise. Why do we have to learn flirting? Is because these days we're meeting total strangers and we've got one shot for connection And sometimes two relatively good people meet but they never go on a second date Two good people meet they never because they didn't know how to ignite The charcoal they didn't know how to ignite the flame They didn't know how to flirt with one another flirting is an important technique in the early stages But jonathan i'm supposed to sit back in my feminine energy and let men lead That's what the book the rule says. That's what all these feminine energy coaches say I don't need to do anything. I just need to be in my feminine essence. I need to just go And vibrate at 452 megahertz or whatever the fuck it is, okay Do you realize that? Do you realize that This whole narrative about women just sitting back and doing nothing is ruining your chances because men are clueless Men are winging it So learning how to flirt is an important factor in Meeting the right man instead of yet now the fourth piece Folks if you don't know if you don't if you haven't figured out how to maintain and make a relationship thrive If you haven't figured out how to maintain and or make a relationship thrive You have to read this book Take out the word marriage and replace it with relationships the seven principles for making relationships work folks Humans don't know how To be an adult in relationship I mean seriously read this book how to be an adult in relationships humans don't know how If you don't know how to make a But jonathan i'm just supposed to do nothing because it's just supposed to be natural. Why is it so hard? Because humans are complicated We are riddled with insecurities and fears and i'm not good enough and i'm not attractive enough and and i've got and i was You know i was uh wounded in my childhood or i was wounded in my past relationships and i i'll do nothing You know expecting that magic fairy dust will change everything How to maintain and make a relationship thrive? Believe or not, this is a skill And it's a needed skill and last but not least To enter the vortex or vibration to enter the vortex or vibration Folks if you watched my video for the last my last couple videos. I talked about a six hour phone date. I had Now in full transparency. This was somebody who recognized me professionally This wasn't when we when we communicated with one another. I thought it was simply going to be a friendly telephone call Because she lived 400 miles away and the truth is uh after the end of the phone call I realized that she wasn't in the capacity to move from where she's at And quite frankly, I don't necessarily want to do long-distance dating. So but we had this amazing Conversation that lasted six hours. I was in shock the first part of the conversation was three and a half hours We had to go to the bathroom when we took a 20 minute break and when we got back on the phone to wrap up We talked for another two and a half hours. I was in shock It was one of those beautifully orchestrated Conversations where it was like we were on a seesaw It was back and forth back and forth back and forth and what I'm sharing this with you Is I feel like I'm in the vortex. I'm in the vibration I made notes of what I experienced and if you're interested I'm going to share this with you but first It was cool that she recognized me professionally. I liked that but she immediately Their first message to me. She said hey handsome kind of thing. She complimented me In other words, she was already attracted to the photographs and by the way, she had amazing photographs It saddens me how many dating profiles I look at where Women who put such poor representations of themselves Half of them are wearing sunglasses in their first photograph Half of them have resting bitch face. Half of them. It's out of focus. It's poor quality and folks that energy that you're putting out Is why you're having mediocre results the women who put together stellar dating profiles Get better results Okay, but she complimented me next she was easy to talk to You know a lot of times you get on the phone with someone the ladies I'm sure you've had this happen with men unconscious men men who are are talking about themselves It's rare that you feel that God you could just talk forever with this person. Well, that's what I experienced over the telephone And she talked with me not at me. Remember I talked about this before Talking at me. She was talking with me We seem to share the same values. We talked about politics and religion. We talked about our lifestyles. Oh my god She was flirty cute and silly and she had this laugh that snorted And again, I'm repeating myself from something I shared before because this story Illustrates a point and we learned through repetition You know the other factors is my point is is being in this vortex when you are in the vortex You become a magnetic attractor to what you want. You become a magnetic attractor to what you want So I invite you to make a list Of what you want to experience I want you to make a list of the qualities that are most important to you I want you to make a list of what it feels like And in a recent short video I said make a list of 30 things and someone said, oh my god, that's ridiculous. Do you realize There are hundreds of feelings. There are hundreds of qualities. There are hundreds of values There are hundreds of of So many different variables that make up a person Writing 30 of them should be nothing If that feels daunting or it feels like you're asking for too much We're talking out of qualities feelings Values there should out of 400 if you can't come up with 10 percent out of those three or 400 Then what does that say about your capacity to recognize the kind of relationship you desire? What does that say? How can you recognize it if you don't even know what it is if you can't write it on a sheet of paper and According to Stephen Covey who wrote the book seven habits for highly successful people I could be misquoting this I didn't he say a goal that's written down has nine time greater chance of achieving success So what do you have to lose but Jonathan? It's just too much. It shouldn't be this far Everything is supposed to be easy. That's what I was told the fairy tale. That's what I was told F the fairy tale My friend Demona Hoffman just wrote a book called F the fairy tale Folks you gotta you gotta be Okay, so bottom line is this I know I sound like a pessimist or a cynicist at time But I'm here to invite you all to lean into trusting That a juicy delicious healthy happy relationship is just around the corner from you When you do the inner work to be your best self When you have clarity on the type of relationship you want and you learn how to vet for that compatibility When you learn how to meet and how to flirt when you learn how to maintain A healthy happy relationship and most importantly when you get into the vortex of what you want You become a magnetic attractor for what you see is this sinking in is this resonating? Please let me know if it is post a comment below I'd like to hear your thoughts if you got to this point you liked what I had to say hit that like button Please share this video. Please subscribe to my channel and hit that notification bell as well So you can be notified of new videos just like this one All right, those who know my format know it's time for qna If you have a question write the word question then post the question thereafter Or you can purchase a super sticker super chat There's a little dollar sign the chat box all the monies from the super sticker super chat goes to a scholarship fund in the name of my son Connor as lay that's a picture of him right there Isn't he so cute? It's my son who passed away over for five years My son who passed away over five years ago And his honor I donate to causes like the hoffman process Insight institute and give scholarships to my coaching program as well Oh, I'm just feeling him right there for a second. So again, um, I would love for you to donate We already had someone donate earlier. I just want to give christina. No, well big props for that $10 super sticker And our goal tonight is $50 $50 so we're we only need 40 more dollars to get there All right, let's see what we've got here I saw a question from true morris By the way, yes, I did repeat myself and for everybody that's talking right now at this moment The golden bachelor is airing on the east coast at the time i'm recording this I completely forgot to do this one hour earlier my bad So you'll come back and watch the replay true morris has a question Do you have to be a millionaire to be on a dating app? I've been I've never been on one dating app suggestion I don't know if I will but getting ready to date. I'm ready True. Are you a man by the way? I'm just curious Because I don't think that's a question I would hear from a woman By the way, um, no, you do not have to be a millionaire to be on a dating app And even the dating app millionaire match which i'm on Hold on a second. Let's find that app. Um here um okay So this is the app. That's a picture of someone. Um I think your net worth has to be 300 000 to get a certified status So no, you don't have to be a millionaire what I like about that app is for the people that pay for it because it's a little bit more expensive It's about 60 dollars a month or 70 dollars a month I I think people that invest more money tend to be a little bit more serious. So I just happened to I subscribed to four dating sites Match.com Millionaire match hinge and bumble now. I've only been on the sites for a few months since my relationship ended I can tell you that I'm I have not I'm not I have yet to connect with someone that I feel Such vibration to want to meet them. Remember I said about the electromagnet earlier See, I believe that when you vibrate with someone like I did with that six hour phone call When you vibrate with someone, that's the person you should meet Now, I know every dating coach will tell you do it the numbers game You know plan on one day to week and make your funnel gigantic. I'm not speaking To those people that are playing in the transactional world I'm strictly speaking to those of you That want to operate from your intuition that want to operate from your Divinity, okay Breathe that in I want I want I'm talking to those that want to operate from their divinity that operate from their heart that operate from that place of Of I'm a magnet for what I want and I already know who I am And I know who's compatible with me So I'm not going to chase the rabbit holes of you just never know You know what? Oh, well, they seem like they've got all the qualities, but You just never know or maybe you're blah blah blah, you know, I'm going to tell you something You just never know Okay, it's like a broken clock. It works twice A day, okay, but the other 22 hours it doesn't work Do you guys get that it doesn't work Going against your gut doesn't work. I gotta tell you something. I learned this I don't want to say the hard way because how you get a gut is through experience You have I so I reflected back I put together a list here see this I just put together a list of all my significant people the significant relationships one two three four five six And even the six hour date I'm going to give her so it's seven I'm giving her I'm giving her credit as a significant relationship because it taught me something huge But I looked at my six significant relationships Three three of them were less than a year Two of them were about a year And my marriage and my most significant relationship after my divorce was about three and a half four years total I looked at each experience and I go What positive things did I learn about myself in each one of these experiences? What was good about each what what how did I heal? How did I heal from my wounds in each experience? What was good about each experience and what am I most grateful for when you can actually sit in a state of gratitude That vibration of gratitude you're going to go from Why you're not met the right man yet to Now when you can get in the vortex when you can get into gratitude You will be operating from a now space and not a yet space. Does that make sense? By the way, who wants to join the hot seat if you want to join the hot seat click this link that I just posted Click the click the link that I just pointed to join the hot seat to join the heat By the way, that was join the hot Join the hot seat not heat That was kind of funky that I made that Grammatical see I make grammatical errors all the time. Thank god for Grammarly, but it didn't pick up on that. All right Diane says the pictures for men are key They don't need to be staged or professional just clear looking happy Fun a body shot single person. So I agree. However with that said Diane A photographer Can put together a curated profile that looks fantastic. They can grab the essence and energy of who you are And it doesn't have to be, you know, and it just looks like quality And anybody who tells you professional photographs are are off-putting. Well, those are people that need to to argue about something Okay, there is nothing wrong with hiring a professional to bring out your essence of who you are That's the job of the professional professional to bring out your essence So long as it's true your essence, that's their job But yes, my son by the way, my son took my dating profile pictures for me Because I know how to radiate energy You I want you to recognize this um To join to to attract someone you have to radiate If you're not radiating you're not going to attract someone in so it behooves you to put out such positive energy to radiate someone in All right, do we have any other questions? Let's see Bum bum bum bum bum bum Bum Okay, Nancy wrote a question earlier again write the word question post the question thereafter Are you channeling abraham hicks now vortex and vibration? Okay, for those that are not familiar with ester hicks She channels a spirit named abraham and it's known as abraham hicks I am a big fan of uh abraham hicks. I'm a big fan of joe dispenser. I'm a big fan of wane dire I'm a big fan of the book return to love by mary Ann Williamson. I'm a fan of greg braden. I'm a fan of of a variety of different people And am I channeling well think about this folks. I do all this without I'm not reading from a script. I literally speak from divinity my divinity from my channeling my higher self So to that essence I am and I talk about vortex and vibration because that's where I learned it through abraham hicks is it Look at those are just words that were made up well before she was born vortex and vibration Uh But doesn't it make sense? You know, did you any of you read winnie the pooh? Okay Winnie the pooh had two friends eor and tigger Eor is Woe is me the sky is falling life sucks. There's no good men out there. I'm not good enough. I'm not lovable I'm not likable. I'm overweight. I'm this I'm that And tigger was bouncy the bouncy bounce bounce bouncy like you know like you that's the vortex Tigger brought more joy into his life So you have a choice who wants to be tigger and who wants to be eor raise your hand write it down I want to be tigger. I am tigger and no one can tell me otherwise daniella writes question I'm retired next year and don't know what I'm planning with what wait. I don't know Wait, I'm retiring next year and know that I'm planning to live in montreal for six months Is this something I should share from the get-go? If it's material to To getting to know someone apps a fucking Lutely if it's material to getting to know someone that seems like it is a big one So yes Okay, renee. We'll have you on in a second. I just want to take poultry flowers Question how old is too wait? How old is too old and how much young is too much young? You know, I'm I'm not here to judge age. You know, I think Women criticize men for dating Women much younger. I hear that criticism all the time. Okay If a woman dates much younger, do we criticize her? Do we call her cougar? What do we call this person? You know what's most important? Two people that are grown up Two people that make a commitment to one another age You know is I mean but with an 18 year old boy and a 78 year old woman be a good fit I don't think so But you know whom I had to judge and vice versa as well. Okay renee Oh wait rena, excuse me rena Yes Turn up your volume talk Okay, okay You know what? It's my fault. Hold on a second. I've got to fix the I've got to do it on my end. I owe you an apology um I got to fix that on my end Okay, rena rena now talk Yeah, can I talk now? Hello Yes, hello Hello Right, I want to final but me and my husband woke up when in two weeks now Two weeks, right? He's not calling talking Texting or anything I want I want to know if I should leave him alone or call Or what? Okay, I I don't feel comfortable talking about such an important topic as a marriage Without knowing a ton of back information Um, there's a lot of information that needs to be addressed and I don't feel comfortable having that kind of conversation With you know giving you just generalized advice. I don't think that's healthy for you Um, you you know, you're not communicating. Okay. Here's my recommendation. Okay Um, I think I want you to talk to a couples counselor first to get advice somebody who is trained in couples counseling And see if you can get your husband to also join couples counseling. Can you do that for me? Well Not at the moment Not not at the moment, but the thing is he's very stubborn. He's act like a narcissist Well, again, again, I I don't think this is the right forum to talk about this Because I I want you to go seek a professional that specializes in this Because again, there's probably hours of conversation that needs to be discussed first before any genuine advice should be delivered Does that make sense? Yeah, okay. Can I give you a big gigantic jotham bear hug of appreciation? Okay, thanks for joining. I really appreciate it Okay, thanks folks when we have a situation like a marriage where there's a lot of Of moving parts that needs to be addressed first It's difficult to have that kind of conversation And then I don't feel comfortable giving advice on just some rough shot perspective I just think there's a lot of I need to know how long they've been married. How long this how long that how long this How you know, do you get that so that's why I didn't mean to dismiss her so quickly But I just felt that she it's important to speak to somebody who specializes in this sooner rather than later Okay Mary Ann said personal question when you go out in public Do you have people randomly come up and talk to you possibly even try to touch you? Or do you think that's because of being a high vibrational person um You know like when I go to the grocery store I mean nobody walks up to me and says I want to touch you so that doesn't happen I I went to get a haircut today. I mean I gave a hug to the gal that cut by the way Yes, I got my haircut. No, I don't color my hair, but I do have gray that's popping up here um, so um Oh in full transparency, I do get my eyebrows done now because there's a lot more gray there So in full transparency, I do do there. So um, you can see okay, um No, I've never had that happen. I mean I was at a seminar a few months ago And yeah, I felt like the women I tend to put out a vibe that I'm very easy to talk to So women do feel that way. I mean strangers not not people that already know me So yeah, I don't know if that's what that is for you Um, I just don't think it's appropriate to touch someone you don't know. That's just my feeling on that one Okay, thanks maryanne for posting that. I really appreciate it. By the way, um, Sharon said that was a faux pod john I don't recall the faux pie had if you could write it down. I'd be curious to know how I faux pod Okay Sherry edwards. Oh big sherry sherry's in the house big gigantic hugs. I'm resonating with your teaching. I'm excited. Thank you Jane spitfires in the house To attract the right man. I should be looking I should be looking well dressed made up and be happy and flirty so I um, here's how I feel about what you just said If you're meeting a total stranger I don't think you're gonna go in your pajamas. Okay I think you're gonna take a shower You're gonna, you know, make your hair. I mean I I I take a shower I shave, you know, I put gel in my hair. I blow dry it I try to find a nice outfit um, you know, I put on my nice watch um Try to wear nice shoes. I am always punctual and on time um You know, the only thing different I don't do is I guess I don't wear makeup And um, okay, so I think that's just Feeling good about yourself Right. I think when you feel good about yourself, you're more apt to be flirty If you just show up like you just worked out. I just think that's it's not tacky I mean you could do whatever you want But I just think you feel better when you get dressed up. I know when I like, okay This was something Marie encouraged me to do but when I traveled I I started to wear a sport coat You know, just kind of had that look of just a you know, and I I felt better about myself And actually it came in handy having a sport coat because it was good to have that kind of jacket But I just liked how I felt You know, so getting made up. I just think we feel a little bit about better about ourselves I don't mean it from a place of dependency. I mean it from a place of just I like looking a little bit nicer than the average person. I don't mean physically nicer I just mean putting my presenting myself. That's just how I feel about that But if you have a different feeling I'd like to hear about it, Jane Jane also ask Do you think I should create a dating diary so I can monitor actions over time? No What I think you should do is a dating journal And journal your feelings About each experience Don't judge the person Only focus on the feelings you experience the problem is if you experience negative feeling negative feeling negative feeling Then all you're doing is amplifying negative feelings. So I want you to after a date Ask yourself what positive things that I learned about myself from this experience What was good about this experience? And what am I most grateful for? Focus on that. You don't need to make a journal about the men You need to make a journal about where you're at emotionally speaking That doesn't mean to invalidate negative feelings, but don't Write down the negative feelings. You just don't need to give Momentum to negative feelings. That's my feeling on that Magic entertainer says do you like vegetable lasagna? I like vegetable lasagna and I like meat lasagna. So yes, I love lasagna Haven't had it in quite some time though Jade is in the house Wow, no gray. That's amazing. Just embrace the grays and anything age-wise with it. You look great That wasn't a question, but thank you. I do appreciate that Okay, sometimes I see people walking around Okay, sandy says as much as I enjoy watching I'm watching the golden bachelor wedding. Call me crazy. I get it sandy. I get it I Don't have regular television. So I have to wait for tomorrow morning on hulu So I have to wait 12 hours or so to watch the golden bachelor And I'm going to shoot a video probably Saturday morning giving you my impressions about the golden bachelor It'll be interesting, you know, I mean do you think this relationship is going to work I give it a 50 50 chance. I think they rush the wedding too soon I don't think they need to have the wedding that soon from after this whole experience That's just my gut feeling. Um, but it'll be interesting to see what happens. I guess there's some controversy about Oh, fuck. Is it gary or jerry gary? Okay, gary and Teresa so we'll see what happens All right, uh, let's see Jane says I think it will not work Yeah I don't think I don't know There's something, you know, like it's funny. He seemed a little too good to be true to midwestern and stuff and now some of I really okay I have disrespect for him. I'll be candid with you. I have disrespect You know, if he blatantly lied on television and didn't say that he was in a relationship with someone And he lived with this person for a lot while and he said it's been six years since I've had anything When it turns out he slept with a couple women He's out of integrity That's just bullshit in my opinion And so, um, it's hard to kind of put trust in a person that listen I understand he didn't want to emphasize it, but it was going to come out Elizabeth says like the quote you put on instagram. Maybe it won't work But maybe seeing if it does will be the best adventure ever. No response yet. Was it wrong to send that? so, um Folks what uh, Elizabeth is talking about is my post that I did it said the meme said Maybe it will work Maybe it'll it won't work out But maybe seeing if it does will be the best adventure in your life I'm here to tell every woman to take chances. I'm here for every man to take chances My friends thought I was a fool for becoming a dating or relationship coach 17 years ago Now I'm one of the top coaches in the country. I I mean everybody thought I was a fool. Everybody thought I was an idiot I just trusted my heart. I trusted my gut. I trusted my intuition I felt called to do this and over the last 17 years the evolution of where I'm at today Oh my god has changed grown so much um And so I believe in every woman and every man taking chances in their lives And that's even when it comes to walking up to a stranger and saying hello You have no idea what could happen. So give it a shot. Um, and as far as what you said, uh No response yet. Was it wrong to send that? Um I don't know what you're talking about Elizabeth. Okay Jade writes Would you agree that every man doesn't have to accept us only the right one Will and that there will be more wrong ones than right ones that should show Then that we should not personalize it. Okay, we're gonna use the Thomas Edison explanation here. So if anybody knows the story about Edison making a light bulb and I once said in a video Einstein Talk about faux pas There's a story where Edison was uh, it took 2,000 attempts to make the light bulb And people asked him what's it feel like to have 2,000 failures? He goes, I didn't have 2,000 failures I learned 2,000 ways not to create a light bulb Folks, it's not the right man. Well, certainly it's the right man But everyone before that is not the wrong man. They were all part of your experience Into meeting the right man. So I want everyone to write this down right now. I mentioned this uh earlier this week Uh, I want you to go to netflix I want you to Uh go to this series called black mirror someone write this down for me black mirror I want you to go to episode called hang the dj hang the dj the song by the smiths Hang the dj hang the dj It is a great illustration jade There is no wrong ones You just learn different ways not to meet the right person. Okay all right Ellie is in the house I greatly appreciate your channel question should I come to talk to a guy If the first footway should I continue to talk to a guy at the first phone conversation we had was not good He did not ask any questions very dry so If that happened to me today That would be my gut saying there's a misalignment That's I'm telling you if it happened to me The problem is is we've been indoctrinated in this whole but jonathan you just never know You just never know you just never know you got to go By the way every dating coach tells you you got to go outside of your comfort zone You got to do you got to do the difficult things and if it isn't right you just never know Okay, a bloke broken clock is right twice a day. Okay. Yes. You don't never know Okay, it could be the exception But I want you to listen to your gut Ellie I want you to listen to your gut. What does your gut tell you when it doesn't feel right? You don't have to go out and then don't second guess it You know people might say well people aren't good on the phone energy is energy I I don't buy this bullshit anymore. I'm here to say How they do their dating profile how they speak on the phone how they are now granted in person Could be different. There's no doubt about it Typically it's not it's usually a person that's flat They mean they're flat when you meet them and then you just need Tons and tons of chemistry Okay, so then you're counting on tons of tons of chemistry to take this rocket ship out into space And boy that's that's betting a lot on chemistry But you got it you got to do what feels right for you and maybe just being open and receptive is what you need to do right now Okay, hope that helps Revolve says have you colored your Have you colored your hair in the past it would be it could be that possibly getting a lot of questions about color I've never colored my hair guys. Can you just let this one go? I do have gray here By the way, someone asked me does the carpet match the drapes? No, I've got dark hair down there too Or yes, I Oh, tell me what's going on in the bachelor right now for those of you watching Donna Marie is in the house Gut is always a hundred percent right. You're amazing. Jonathan. Keep it coming. Thank you Lighthouse says Jonathan About Gary you stand that he was wait You you understand that he was in a tv show. He probably told told what time went what to time down and what Tone down and whatnot. Yeah. Well, I'm sorry. It still makes him look like a liar And you know what abc didn't do him any favors then you know what abc should have done Is if he'd actually mentioned it, but they didn't post it then they should come clean. That's bullshit Because it makes him look like a liar. It doesn't make him look good. That's just my opinion magic entertainers in the house Why would a guy that only went on one date with today say on a text? Why did you ghost me? I had text him last we just text once in a while for like two months Well, he probably felt ignored. So why would a guy that I only went on one date with Did you go on the date with him today? Or today say on a text. Why did you ghost me? He probably felt ignored? I mean, I'm I'm assuming that what isn't that what ghosting feels like being ignored? So he must have somehow Misunderstood or didn't by the way. I sent a text or my my hairdresser sent me a text the other day and I didn't get it and she followed up with like anyway, so Maybe something happened, but he's feeling ignored. That's what's going on The quote that about okay a quote that made it wait the quote about maybe it won't work out I sent it to someone. I've been out with a few times I asked how they envisioned us and he said I think we were pretty good together. Was it wrong to send the quote? Oh No, I think it's a great quote. I mean Why is sharing love Wrong By the way, when I use the word love, you're just sharing kindness. You're sharing a gift. You're sharing a piece of you It's just a piece of love There's nothing folks. There is nothing wrong with being From a sincere place It's only bad when we do it to manipulate if you now I'm not suggesting you were trying to manipulate elizabeth But if you were trying to get him to respond Then it could have had an adverse effect, but no if you were sending it from a sincere Kind loving place. There's nothing wrong with doing that. So no, I I'm I'm in full favor of what you did. Okay, all right um Sharon says the faux pas was joined the heat instead of hot seat, but perhaps that slip was more of a verbal Not I by the way, I don't know how to pronounce what that is Trump did leave but not fool the eye but funny comment nonetheless indeed indeed Anyone want to join the hot seat right now before we wrap up today Um Jordan said what are you doing over Christmas in new year's? Well, what are you doing over? That was like last week Where's your head at? I mean are we talking about next year? I don't know what's planned for next year I'm I'm just I'm just focused on what I'm going to do tomorrow So I have no idea why you're going down that rabbit hole Uh lighthouse says of jonathan about gary Considered that he was on a tv show, but producers he was probably oh we already wrote we already said that okay Uh, so next time I'll just show that you're wait next time I will just show you that i'm not a man lol wait The next time i'll show i well, I don't know what that means if you're responding to okay if you're responding to um If you're responding to what I said earlier about the million dollars. I just I don't think well Let me process this for a second I would say that possibly net worth is important to men these days as well as women You know it used to be families would give dowries A dowry uh from the females family to the males family for marrying their daughter So I don't know how I don't think most men Care as much, but there certainly are men that do care about a woman's financial status Certainly that she's not in debt mostly but Most men don't care about that as much as women care about it the other way. I'm just saying traditionally speaking um okay The bachelor wedding it's been boring so far really I kind of figured it was going to be boring I mean i'm watching it tomorrow on hulu and i'll just fast forward it because I just want to cut to the You know what I do folks when it comes to the tv shows um the reality shows I always watch the first episode, but I fast forward through it I usually watch the second episode Fast forward through it. I skip the third the fourth the fifth Uh, and then I go to the last one and I fast forward through it now That's of the regular bachelor the golden bachelor I was kind of glued to this one because I think it's setting a trend For dating for those of us in midlife and because i'm a midlife dating coach I thought it was rather important to get involved with that um, but I fast forward most reality shows um I just think um, there's so much extra b-roll shit. That's just a pain in the ass to sit through So that's how I kind of operate there um Okay No, true morris says no you asked me if I was a man So I said I will get on the hot seat to show you I'm not a man We click the link if you want to join the hot seat and trista says oh, I spoke too soon They had something had some excitement. Well, don't tell me yet I'm watching tomorrow to get all the juicy delicious news. In fact, I'll talk about the bachelor Probably in my saturday video folks. I hope you found value and why you're not why you've not met the right man yet If you want to put the odds in your favor check out the link, uh in the show notes to schedule a discovery call with me To see if working with a coach is right for you If you have something to share about this video post a comment below if you like this video Please hit that like button. Please share this video Please subscribe to my channel and in these last few minutes if you could dominate donate to the connor asley scholarship Fun, I would be truly grateful I'm going to sign off this videos. I always do first off giving myself a big gigantic johnathan barrack of self love I'm going to reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay I'm going to ask you to turn to someone a pet a teddy bear a pillow and give either them a hug of love Because hugs are a great source of love and let's face it. We could all use more love in our lives I want to thank the magic entertainer and jade and jane and trista and true morris and resolve and lighthouse and sherry and ellie and sharon and maria and elizabeth And marianne and jade. I think I said jane bryans in the house Uh donna. I think I said that alexa Sandy rina everyone big hugs much appreciation. Have a wonderful evening. You be well. Take care