 You want to ask, don't you? You're just dying to know. Fine, I'll tell you. How did I lose my leg? Snails. Very slow moving snails, but they still got me. I was trying to make friends with the zombie because I was like, I'm a compassionate person. They're a person too, somewhere deep down. It did not work out. Sacrifice to the old gods. So this one time there was like a zit on part of my ankle and I was like, we cannot have that so I just chopped it off. The kitten attack. You know, mom always told me to eat my green veggies and I was like, no mom, they're gross and then it freaking fell off. Shoulda listened. The fish tank fiasco of 2017, you know what I'm talking about. 5 a.m. I was going for a lovely morning walk in Virginia when the Canadian goose came after me and dear god, their jaws are strong. Huh? Done.