 Hello, friends. Scott St. Marie here with yet another episode on the Depression to Expression podcast. Nice of you to join me. I hope you think of me as maybe some kind of companion. I just love sharing ideas with you, perspectives. These things pop in my mind throughout the day, so I grab the microphone and I just like to express a few things with you throughout the weeks and months. And if you're new to the podcast, feel free to scroll down, check out all these amazing episodes. Man, I really appreciate all your support, everyone, for watching my YouTube videos. Checking me out on Instagram, sending me emails. I love you. And we're all in this together. So you know where to find me if ever you want to get in touch because we got to support each other. Well, not just through COVID, but geez, long before and long after, life is one windy road. What hell of a road, isn't it? Nod with me. Yeah. Man, have you been up some mountains? And have you been down in some valleys, haven't you? You know that musty, humid smell when you're in the pit. And when you're climbing up that mountain and you reach the peak, oh man, does that air smell fresh in the sun beating down on us? It's such a beautiful thing. And before you know it, well, we're climbing back down and we're in the pit again. But then before you know it, we're back at the top of the peak and we're enjoying that sunshine once again. That's life, man. Ups and downs, peaks and valleys, smiles and frowns, anger, resentment, jealousy, curiosity, happiness, joy. It's all in there. You can't get through life without having that amazing loot bag of emotion and pain and suffering and grieving, complete contentment and peace then followed by complete astonishment and devastation of what life actually means, this existential feeling of hell. That's what you get. That's the package. That's the contract you signed by coming in to this world. That's it. There's no real choice. No matter how happy you are, you can meditate for 30,000 hours every day if that were possible. And you could do all of the therapy in the world and you could have the cleanest and best diet and exercise regime. And you'd still feel it. You'd still feel gloomy on those gloomy days. You'd still feel sad when you lose someone you love. You'd still have these existential questions of what's my purpose? What should I do in life? Which way should I go? You'd feel lonely sometimes. You'd feel happy sometimes. You'd feel angry sometimes. You'd feel excited sometimes. That's all in the package. Not with me now. You agree that's all in the package and you already know it is because you've experienced a lot of that spectrum of emotion so far in your life. But let's talk about one word today. Let's talk about resistance. Have you been resisting something as of late? And we all do this to some degree because as I just explained, life is full of pain, full of ups and downs. And what happens is we know how bad those downs are. I know how bad those downs are so we want to do whatever we can to resist that, to not go into that pit again, to not go back to where we once were. So we run away. We resist. We suppress. We compress instead of express. So we push it down. We push it down. No, I don't want to think about that right now. Okay, I'm just going to stay busy at work. No, I don't want to do that right now. I'm just going to do something else. Okay, I don't want to think about that. I'm just going to watch TV. Okay, I don't want to do that right now. I'm just going to have a few drinks. I don't want to think about that right now. It's too boring. It's too dumb. I'm just going to smoke some weed. We resist. We run away. Instead of embracing, we run away. Instead of hugging, we push away. We've become hardened. What's this hard exterior we've all created around us? It's because we want to run away from pain. We don't want to experience hurt again. So rather than be vulnerable with others and ourselves, we just create these layers after layer of resistance and other layer of resistance. And in society, we call that strength. This armor we create for ourselves, we call it strength. We call it being a badass. No one can fuck with me. No, I wouldn't call it weakness either. I just call it being human and doing what we do. We avoid pain and we seek pleasure. That's what we do. But as you all know, you all know that no matter how hard you try, there's going to be pain and there's going to be pleasure. This is the yin and yang, man. This is the order and the chaos. So instead of resisting one side, instead of resisting the sadness, the depression, the pain, the anger, what if we didn't resist it? What if we expressed it in other healthier ways? What if we noticed these things? What if we listened to what our bodies and minds were trying to tell us? And you know that that's my story in a nutshell. I resisted for so long. I had to take medication. And once off medication, you realize the feelings that come up within our minds and bodies that I've had to adjust to for the last eight months. You may have seen my YouTube videos and previous podcasts about a little bit of the journey of getting off antidepressants. And it's been okay. But there's been the hardest times of my life. And I've shared that with friends and family. I don't necessarily share that publicly. But guys, it hasn't been an easy road. But what makes it harder is if I resist these things. If I resist sadness, if I resist pain, if I keep trying to solve problems and seek solutions without even figuring out what's wrong in the first place, listening, put the resistance away. Because what happens when we resist? What happens? We push it down. We run away. We stay busy. We drink. We watch TV. It comes back 10 times as strong a week later, a month later, five years later. What happens if you feel right now? And don't get me wrong, my friend. It's scary. It's scary to feel that. I hear you. I know it's scary to sit in a quiet room with their thoughts and see what comes up. But you're just that much closer to having this unrestricted free flowing existence. We always try to stay busy, stay occupied, and up to a point that's really important, our minds can't stay idle. We need to stay busy. We need to do work. We need to contribute. But at what cost? Have you stopped and listened to what your body and mind have been telling you? Sometimes the truth may be uncomfortable. That's okay. Sometimes the solution after thinking about certain things and feeling what you feel and taking a moment without the TV, without a podcast on, without the radio on, without distractions, sitting and feeling, a solution may come up that you just never thought possible. You've given your body space. You've given thought some space. You've given your mind some distance between each thought. Take a breath. Let it go. Stop resisting. You can handle it. You can deal with it. Your track record for beating those bad days and getting in those pits is 100%. That's not a bad track record. That's pretty good. I don't think there's one better. You've gotten through 100% of those bad days, those intrusive thoughts, those worries, those anxious moments, those depressed moments, those suicidal thoughts. You're still here. How about that one? Think of that so you can go into it again. Let go of the resistance. Feel what you feel. That's maybe part two of this podcast. What would happen if you didn't resist and felt what you felt? Feel what you feel. Isn't that a sad story today? That right when we feel something other than happiness, we feel guilty about it. Maybe it's the self-help gurus, maybe it's Hollywood, maybe it's all of these things that we see in mainstream media and online and social media, but if we feel anything other than happiness and gratitude, we feel shame. Shame on me for having a bad day even though I have food in my fridge. Shame on me for not exercising today because I should be disciplined and I'm just a mess up. Shame on me for being sad and angry. Shame on me for being depressed and anxious. Shame on me for not having the courage to reach out someone to help me. Let me tell you something straight up. Whatever you're feeling right now and I don't care what you're thinking of at this moment. I don't care what you're feeling at this moment. It can be anything. It doesn't matter. You can be having a suicidal thought right now. You can be having a thought where you just don't want to be around anymore. You can have a thought of self-harm right now. You can have a thought in worrying about the future right now. Let me tell you something. It's okay. Breathe with me now. Inhale, exhale. It doesn't matter what the thought is that's going through your mind. If you're feeling some anxiety, some guilt, some remorse, some sadness, some frustration, it's okay to feel that. Now, why would I say feeling some type of negative emotion is okay? My friend, think about it. Why be upset? Why shame yourself? Why feel guilty about what you're actually feeling in this very moment? It doesn't do you any good because that's exactly what's happening right now. Let's start where you are right now. Let's not resist. Let's not compress. Let's not suppress. Let's be okay with feeling anything, with thinking anything because that's exactly what you're experiencing and we don't want to downplay what you're experiencing. We don't want to shame you for what you're experiencing. We don't even want to say it's wrong what you're experiencing. It's not wrong if that's exactly what you're experiencing. Do you feel me? Say, whatever you're thinking, it's okay. Whatever you're feeling, it's okay. Now, afterwards, this is what I do with people one-on-one and in groups as we talk about these emotions that come with anxious feelings and thinking and worrying and projecting ourselves in the future and social anxiety and depression and feeling low and worthless with low self-esteem, we start with saying okay, that's where we are right now. That's the field where we're playing the game. That's all right. That's all right. Let's take a breath. Let's notice that and now let's figure out well what are these feelings maybe trying to tell us? If anything, can we take these thoughts seriously right now? Or is it just because there's some kind of circumstance around us and we shouldn't really dig deep into these at the moment? But you start with no resistance. You start with respecting yourself enough to listen to what your body's telling you, to try to understand what these feelings and thoughts are saying. You respect yourself enough to feel it because your body demands it from you. I've always wanted to do a podcast episode about this because I was always a solution seeker and I never wanted to feel anything but joy, anything but happiness and maybe when you're young, it's pretty easy to do that because life is freaking awesome. Just playing sports, video games, hanging out with friends, but then as you get older you realize that death is a thing and loss is a thing and heartbreak is a thing and life comes at you and you can't resist these things. The only thing we can do is embrace them, accept them for what they are. That's the package deal with life my friends. I'd like to challenge you maybe for the next week until I upload the next episode and make sure you subscribe so then you figure out part two and what this is all about, this challenge. This week, just practice next time you feel something other than happiness, other than maybe peace. Stop distracting yourself for a moment and just take stock very gently. Take note of what you're feeling and whatever you're feeling, even if it's happiness, even if it's sadness and take note whatever you're feeling, if that's happiness, if that's sadness, if that's loneliness, you tell yourself in that moment, okay, I feel a little lonely and that's okay right now. So we're practicing a little bit of self-respect here. We're practicing a little bit of self-care in that way. Why be your own worst enemy? Because I know that happens. People can say they love us and they're there for us but if we don't admit that inside that we love us, well it doesn't matter what other people are saying. You need to believe it yourself. So this is a shame-free week for you that no matter what you feel and think, you're going to say that's okay right now. That's okay to feel what I'm feeling. It's okay to think what I'm thinking. I'll see you in the next episode. Hope to see you on Instagram and YouTube and feel free to send me an email. I'd love to hear from you. Stay strong, my friend. Keep being you and don't forget to express yourself. Bye.