 Hello my YouTube family, in this video we're going to be talking about a crazy thing that happens when you leave a narcissist because you were with them for all of that time. You invested your time, energy, effort, money and resources into the narcissist. Meanwhile they manipulated you, they devalued you, abused you, lied to you, future faked. They did all of these things to you and they made you believe in a possible future with them as though they were working towards something and you just had to hold on to wait for this future with them. They made you believe in that. They never even crossed their minds unless you brought it to their attention because otherwise all they were thinking about is what they were getting from you. Your energy, your attention, your validation, yes they were taking all of that from you and it was lifting them up. It was making them feel good about themselves but they weren't thinking about reciprocating any of that back to you. They were just using you, exploiting you, paying you for a fool and yet here's the crazy thing when you do leave the narcissist in the end they will blame you. They will have this sense of arrogance and entitlement and they will still be expecting more from you as if you hadn't given enough already because just look back and think about everything you gave to them. Maybe even write it down, make a list of everything you did for them and what you got back in return and then you will see that you invested in something that was of low value because our value is based on what we give to people. It's not based on what we receive or what we consume for ourselves. It's not based on that at all and that's really the problem. It's that you were investing your time, energy, money and resources into something that was of low value so it wasn't worth anything. It was a low return investment so you could put as much as you wanted into it but you weren't ever going to get anything back because it had no value and in fact if anything it was a liability to you. It's like the more you put into it the more unfavorable it was for you. The more that you then owed as though it was meant to be some type of service to you when in fact it's like you were funding a leech of parasite with your energy, attention, money or resources. Yes you were funding your time, something that was leeching off of you, sucking off of you, taking value away from you but of course you didn't realize that at the time. I mean no one, no one is just going to willingly give value out with the assumption that they're not gonna get anything back. No one is gonna do that. You were led to believe that you were in this reciprocal relationship as though you were building something together because they lied to you, they future fades. They made you believe in this possible future with them but they've ever even taken the steps to make it a reality because they could never make a reality for you. They could never make it happen and that was never their intention. They never even intended to do that. They just knew that was what you wanted to hear. This is how a narcissist looks at it. They look at it like I got to do to get what I want out of this person and what they want. Of course they want their supply, they want your attention, your validation, sometimes they might want sex, money, they're gonna place the sea and they look at it like what have I got to do to get that out of this person and of course in most cases what they want is your energy, your validation. They want you to admire them, to somewhere something desirable, something significant, relevant, important to your life because that's then our artistic supply. So in most cases that is what they want from you and they're looking at you like what have I got to say, what have I got to do to get supply out of you and then that's what they do. They sell you a dream. They string you along and you're transferring this energy, this life source to them and it's validating their false character. It's making them feel alive and that's just what they're using you for. That's all it is. That's all that it was but they have a void that can never be filled. It's never going to be enough. It's never going to sustain them. It's never gonna be happy no matter what you do for them and that is why even at the end of the relationship despite everything that you may have done for them up until that point, they're still going to be dissatisfied. They're still going to be at you with their hands out to expect in something more from you or the while they never gave or did anything for you and they're still going to be looking at you like you owe them as crazy as that sounds. This is the great thing that happens when you leave a narcissist because they're not enough for themselves. Their false character cannot be validated from within. They need constant validation from you especially if you're an empath because you have this very rare, this very rare quality and that is your empathic concern. So you're able to read into a situation, into a person's desires and needs, it's what you want from you and you're able to recognize exactly what that is in that moment and then you feel compelled, feel the need to give that to them, to give them that narcissistic supply, to make them feel better about themselves. Yes, you feel compelled, you feel the need to do that for them and then they're just sitting back, they're eating that up, they're enjoying what you're giving to them and you don't even get a thank you, they're not even grateful because they don't really appreciate it. They don't have anything of value so they can't recognize the value that you're giving to them and that is why these relationships typically end in this way, to where it's like they're constantly looking at you and expecting you to do more but it's like no matter what you do, it's never good enough, it's never enough for them. They always lurk around waiting with their hands out, expecting you to do more because despite what they may have led you to believe, they need you far more than you ever needed them and in fact you never needed them. You never needed anything from them. They always needed you, they always needed what you were giving out and this is just the only way that it's ever going to be with them. It's never going to be any different than that. You're always the one who is going to have to do or provide to them and all they're going to do is check in on you now and again just to keep the ball rolling so that they've got this constant stream of supply going to which they were then used to get supply from not only you but from other sources as well because yes, that character is not even real. That person you saw at the beginning, that's not even them. It's just many of you, you've seen these relationships for such a long time because you wished that it was them. You wished that was who they are because then you could live out the extreme fantasy. Then it's like everything could come together, everything could be alright so you hold on to that false character where that was never them to begin with. It was a shared fantasy. They led you to believe that they were this fun, loving, devoted, exciting, charismatic character almost like a reflection of yourself because that's what you're about and yet they just reflected your qualities and virtues back to you and also we can be at fault sometimes as well. I mean what we tend to do is we project our positive qualities onto them. We uphold them to that and even if their actions never even align with that, we just kind of go along with it because we know that's who we are so we project these qualities onto them as well. We assume that that's who they are. Even though they've never actually done anything that aligns with that, we just naturally assume that it's who they are. Can you see how ridiculous that sounds? Because that's exactly how it is. That's how it goes with them. That's how it goes with us. We recognize the goodness in ourselves and we project it onto other people. Even though their actions and behaviors quite clearly do not align with that, they quite clearly do not align with that at all. And in fact, if you look at it they're the ones who need that from us. They need us to be that for them. Luckily for them that's exactly who we are. That's who we've been to them all of this time. But they're never going to be that for you. And they already know that. And at some point it gets to a point where they didn't even want you to be that for yourself. Because your qualities, your positive traits, it irritates them. It reminds them of how they're not real, of how they're not really about what they said they were about, what they implied they were about or what they meant to be about. But regardless of whatever they say and are doing, you've got to look at their actions and behaviors and recognize that they are devaluing you. That you are so much more than what they led you to believe. And that they are so much less than what they implied themselves to be. Because if you look at it, it gets to a point where it's like, in order for them to sustain you as their source of supply, everything they say, everything they do, every action of behavior, the denial, the rejection, the blame shift and gaslighting, devaluation, triangulation, all of it is just to get you to focus on anything but yourself. And why do they want you to focus on anything but yourself? The reason why is because as soon as you do that, then you can see them as they actually are. That's why when you know yourself, only then can you know others. So they don't want you to know yourself because they don't want you to see them as they actually are. When you see them as they actually are, the illusion falls apart. And then you can no longer validate the false character or the illusion, which means that they can no longer get narcissistic supply from you. Because then you can no longer feed their ego. You can no longer make them feel significant, relevant, special or important. And that's all that they want you to do. That's what they do when they meet an empath or anyone. They just want you to validate the illusion because they don't get anything out of it. When you see them as they actually are, when you're grounded in reality, they don't get any power or energy out of that. That does nothing for them. It doesn't do anything for them in any way. What they've got to do in order to gain power over you and to extract their supply from you is they have to either get you to disassociate or associate with whatever they're projecting or deflecting onto you. Because as soon as they can do that, instantly, you're giving your power and energy to something other than yourself. When in fact, and they know this already, but your power and your energy comes from you violating yourself. This is why what the empath's validation is so bad. Because that validation you're normally given to yourself. We are normally able to do all of these wonderful things in the world. Just imagine how that feels when you give that to them. But even then, it's not really that euphoric. It's kind of just so they can feel even slightly normal for a moment. That's all that really gets. And that is their drug. That's what they're hooked on. They just can't resist it. They can't get enough of it. They really need that from you. And it's something that they're hooked on. It's something they can't let go of him for a moment. Which is why as soon as they think that you're abandoning them, they're losing their source to supply what happens. It causes a narcissistic injury. They go crazy. Now they want to punish you, they want to take you down. They want to make your life miserable. Because they know that's exactly how it's going to be for them if you get away. Which is why they've got to hold on to you for their lives. And that's really the thing. You know, when they try to downplay us, they value us. You've got to look at it like this. Something of value. If something's valuable. Would you really want to pound it? If you lost it, would you even really care? No one wants to be around a bag of shit. It stinks. It's useless. It has no purpose. You're not going to want to be around with that. If you've got a car, you're going to jump in it and drive as far as you possibly can away from it. So that you'd never have to encounter it again. Because that's garbage. It stinks. It's not worth anything. It's just going to bring you down. It's just going to lower your value. So you don't want to be around it. But when we're talking about something of value, such as a high value person like yourself, just think about that for a moment. Imagine you've got a watch. But first, just imagine you've got maybe you've got it from a secondhand shop. It's not really that valuable. It's not that special or important. Doesn't really mean anything to you. So if you lose a watch, not really going to care. You might search for it maybe for a few minutes. But then you're going to forget about it. Because you can quite easily. You can get another one very so you're not going to care so much if you lose it. But what if that watch was extremely valuable? What if that watch was a Rolex? What if it was left to you by someone who passed away? So it has sendable value? Are you just going to stop looking for that watch after a few minutes? Probably not. In fact, you may spend years looking for that watch. You may go to the ends of the earth to get that thing back. Why? Because it has you because it's extremely valuable. And you may never find another one like that ever again. And it's the same thing us. That is why they obsess over us. That is why they hold on to us. Because unlike them, they're everywhere. Everywhere you look. There's always another one of them. But an empath, a chosen one. That's rare. And they may never find another person like you ever again. And deep down they know that. And that is why they will hold on to you for dear life. They will attach to you. They will place hooks in you. They will do anything they can to reel you back in. All of this drama is they're actually a problem. Am I doing something wrong? Do I need to do something to help them? To make things better? But actually it's like no. That's nothing to do with it. You're just valuables of supply and they don't want you to get away because they can't live without you. There's a man look at their actions you. Not letting you go. Because yes, you are like and that is why they want to manipulate and control the situation and try to lower your level of consciousness to where you become unaware. You don't understand what is going on. This is why they've got so many tricks in their toolbox. So many different manipulative tactics to really sink their teeth into you. Latch on to you. To prevent you ever getting away. Or at the very least hold it on to you for as long as they possibly can. But that's really it. Back to difference. If something's not worth anything. If it doesn't have any value. If it's a bag of poop. You're going to want to get away from that. You're going to want to jump in your car and drive away in the opposite direction. Because it has no value. It's a liability to you. It's taking value away from you. But when something is of value. Of high value. You're going to chase after it because it's bringing value to you. That's I'm sure most of you will understand. I mean this is quite a basic concept. People move towards things of value. They move away things away from things that take value away from them. No one wants to put themselves in a situation where it's going to strip them of their value. We move towards value. And again this is another trick that they use. They make you believe that they have something of value. But the false character. The mirroring. Reflecting our qualities and virtues back to us. They're the same as us. Because at some level they recognize our value. Are they trying to imitate that? You can hold on for as long as you're like. You're not going to get anything out of it. It's not going to do anything for you. They will lie. They will future fake. It's just going to drain you. It's not going to serve you in any way. It's only going to serve them. And that's the only reason that they're there. Because as I said we move away, especially more than anyone else. A narcissist will distance themselves from anyone who is a liability to them. Who is taking value away from them. They will gravitate towards those who bring value to them. Towards those who have value. Because they want that themselves. And that is why those of you who are in paths, who are chosen ones out into the world will just not leave you alone. Because you have tons of value. But if you're awakened, if you're aware, they can't. If they're real, if they're authentic, if they have their own inherent value, then they can exist in that space. But otherwise they can't. They have to be distant. They have to be covert. Because otherwise your value and your illness is going to expose them. So that's why some narcissists will distance themselves from you. Even though you have value and the reason why is because you're awake. You're aware. You have this information. You know what to look for. You know what they're about. So they may ghost you. They may stay distant. They may stay covert and use other means of manipulation to get to you or to extract them from you. But they're not going to do that in an intimate space over a long period of time. They wouldn't be able to even if they tried. Because your awareness would expose them. And then you're going to be the one who rejects them. So they're not going to put themselves in that space. They already know how it's going to end. They're not even going to waste their time. But once you become awakened and aware, it's going to be those who do have value, who will grab towards an intimate space with you. Because even though you're awake and you're aware, it's like they know who they are. They know how they have value. So they don't fear that you're going to reject them. An equal exchange. I might get something from you but you're going to get something from me as well. So you're not going to lose anything. You're not going to feel guilt. You're not going to feel regret. You're not going to reject me. It's how they're going to be thinking. But when you're dealing with low value narcissistic people, it's all manipulation, deception, lies, future figure and a ghastly din. All just to confuse you and keep you in the fog and to prevent you from late realizing the fact that they have nothing to ring to you. And in fact if you were aware of that you would be going in the opposite direction. If you realize that they're taking value away from you and then they come around you because you're high value and they're getting something to value out of you. Everything is energy. Everything is value. There is no person to where you can remain around them and your value is going to stay the same. That just doesn't happen. In any interaction, in any engagement, your value is either going to go up or down. A person with their presence, with their energy, their emotions can either take value away or they can bring value to you. In any interaction, any engagement, they can either be a liability or an asset to you. And that's where you've got to think for yourself and you've got to identify, is this person bringing value to me or are they taking value away? And if you look back with an asset, you were bringing value to them the entire time. They were taking value from you. So of course would you expect them to do it again if they never brought value to you that entire time? Which clearly indicates that they are low value people. Of course in the game they're just going to try to take even more value from you. They're not going to give any value to you. They can't even do even if they tried because they haven't got any value to bring to you. If they did, they would have brought that to you a long time ago. I know they move on, they float their new supply. They live in their best lives without you. That's not how it is. It's all fake. If there was really wonderful other side to their personality, believe me, you would have seen it by now. You would have seen that a long time ago to secure you so that they could keep extracting value out of you. God was what they had to give and I've said it before. Whatever the name of the narcissist that you were dealing with, as an example, maybe your narcissist was named Richard, tell yourself you had the Richard experience. You experienced Richard. That's what you got. That's what they had and there's nothing more to it. Anytime you feel like they're pulling the wall over your eyes, they're manipulating you again. Something significant, relevant to your life. In fact, the opposite is true, so here's what you've got to do. Anytime you feel like going back to a manipulative, future-faking narcissist, just do this. Imagine them on the toilet. Imagine that they have a bad stomach. They're on the toilet. They're having a rough time. Just imagine that for a moment and tell me, do they really seem that attractive to you now? Because in most cases they probably won't. Imagine them on the toilet and you stay with them for all of this time. You never actually get anything back in return. You're really just wasting your time. You're never going to get anything back from them. The more time you spend around them, it's just going to be you investing everything you have and you're being drained because they're a leech, they're a parasite, a bottom feeder. They have no value of their own. They've got to get that from you. They demand that expect for you to give that to them and they lie to you. They're future fakers, almost like you're giving them a loan. You're giving them a loan and they're broke. They've got no credit. So of course they're never going to pay you back and you need to remind yourself of that. Remind yourself of your value in contrast to this. Out of how you're loaning them, all of this energy, this investment. But what difference does that make? You can invest all of your time. In any matter, you're never going to get anything back. And me, because it is fake. If it was real and you're investing into it, you're going to get something back in return. But because they're fake, it's just going to go into a void. You're not going to get anything back because you're investing into a false character that isn't even real. So you're not going to get anything out of that. Your time, your energy and effort, that's all going to go to waste because you're investing in something that doesn't even exist. You're investing in something that doesn't even exist. So there's not going to be any reciprocation. You're not going to get anything back. It's almost like a scam. It's like one of those people who call you on the phone and they tell you to invest your money. If that was an established company then of course, yes, you would get something back. But if it's not real, if it's fake, how much of your time, energy and effort you're like that Rolex are very valuable watch. So they're going to chase after you. They're going to hunt you down. But once you become awake and aware, you're going to run away from them. Once you recognize that they have no value of their own and that they're just stripping value away from you, then you're not going to want to be around them. But yeah, I don't want to stay too long into but there's crazy that they will do when you leave them. Yes, of course they will bring you and they will be expecting more from you and because you're one of them, I'll get back from you because you're real, you're authentic. You're not fraudster, you're not a con artist. So if they invest their time and the energy into you, of course they're going to get a return. They're going to get something back. But you do that, it's just going to go to nothing because this facade, this false character, it's not real. It's just going into a void, never to be seen again. So that's it, that's the message for today. I do hope that you found helpful and I was quite a long video again today. I do believe that it was quite informative, a lot of information provided to you in this one. And if you would like to show your supports, you can do that by hitting the thumbs up button down below which will help the YouTube algorithm to get this message out there but you can also do the next one in a super chat with super thanks for the comment section. Or by going to my paypal it is paypal.me. And also hit the subscribe button and click on notifications so that you will be notified when I upload a new video in the future. And if you would like to book a one-on-one session with me you can go to my it is narcsurvivor.co.uk and also you can follow me on Instagram. It is Narc Survivor YouTube. I have new pictures and videos for my travels which I upload to my stories every day on there. All right, thank you all for joining me on another Narc Survivor Live video. I do appreciate you all, my YouTube family. Thank you all for your support. And as always I look forward to talking with you