 The whole section on spacial relationships was real concerning to me, for some reason. True. My God, can I see anything special in anybody? I still haven't worked with that a lot. And I still don't understand it completely. That I go to card shops and I have to feel guilty if I pick up a card that says to someone, special. You got to watch where you stop now, huh? Watch those words. Yeah. To my special, I don't know, half of the cards say the word special. It's just a word. Yeah. It's just a word, but trying to get to that meaning of... But, I mean, I think there are people that need more to me than other people do. So they're special to me. Once you can see that this offering of the ego is just like all of its other. A lot of some of the offerings of the ego are pretty gross. And the mind can say, yeah, I can see this. I don't want this. But Jesus is kind of saying that the special relationships are so insidious. They seem to offer so much value to the mind that the mind can't see them. It's part of just another scam. It's part of the ego. Over there, mate. The good news of it is that it's saying that once you can see the special relationship to what it is, once you aren't fooled by the ego, it's kind of like a special love relationship. It's like the ego's ace card. It's like holding back saying, ah, you got through the whole deck. But here's the ace, you know, that once the mind can start to see that offering for what it is, then the ego is really out of business. You know, the ego has no hope of holding on and trying to stomp on. But I think in one sense when I hear you say that those are very disconcerting and invertebrate, you know, you have issues when you go through some of that, that that kind of puts it into a framework. And if you also look at that, you know, when we do make some people special, more special than others, it does kind of bring about this condition where there's order of difficulty and miracle. You know, it's kind of like I've heard people say, I'm able to forgive my next-door neighbor. I've been able to forgive my boss. But my wife or my husband, or you know, there's certain relationships that seem to be sticking points. And in a sense, it's because there's an order of difficulty that's interposed by the mind. And the mind has so much invested in some of these certain relationships. You know, that's why it's kind of held them up value and dear because it really believes that it's worth is very much established by these relationships. A lot of times parents have the feeling like almost like wanting to live through their children. You know, like get the pictures out and children and grandchildren and their accomplishments and everything, you know, I've done a good job as a mother or a father, as if I'm a good grandpa or grandmother. And this is because, you know, I feel a sense of pride and worth because of this. And therefore there's a special relationship set up with the kids. Or, you know, you can do the same with parents. You know, where kids sometimes go up and they think mom and dad sometimes can do no wrong when they're young and then it's devastating when mom and dad aren't perfect. It seems to be like, here we go, you know, the pain comes from that special. Or I would say, you know, a special love relationship even with like a significant other like husband and wife and couples and everything. That there's so much of an identity attachment that if somebody else starts seeming to cut down or to say things about your special love partner, here come the defenses again. You don't know him. You don't know her, you know. Or how can you say this thing? You know, there's a lot of defending goes in because it's like a lot of the emotional acts have been piled into this basket with this other person and there's a big investment. So I can sense where you're coming from with that thing about special relationships because the ego, that's like its stronghold and it doesn't want to be unveiled. We were talking about this very deep kind of ontological guilt that's buried in the mind of believing that I actually have separated from God which is too tremendous to look at and therefore kind of like splintering it out into the world of form. And it may be not only with people, in other words really having a strong investment in a special love partner or having special hate partners, you know, or in a sense you can think of it as maybe the Mussolini and the Hitler and the Mass murderers or the ones that tend to get put into the special hate category, you know, like that's awesome. Who could do such a thing? And the Hiddlers get in one category and the Mother Teresa gets nicely over here and you know, oh everyone loves Mother Teresa. But it splits the sonship up. But it even goes more to objects in the sense that, you know, it's possible to form special relationships with cars, with houses, with food, particular food, with particular climate, with particular body forms, jobs. And in a sense there's this bordering that's going on and it's kind of like when we were talking at the very beginning we got into perception and you were saying it was kind of highly individualized that each seeming fragment or ego fragment seems to have a hierarchy of special things that are highly valued in this world and then some things are like, well, take it or leave it and then the ones that are indifferent or downright rotten to be avoided and that's like a configuration or an ordering that takes place. It's all an avoidance of the poor issues that I can't face that I see kind of separate from that. So all these relationships are ways to hang on to the avoidance of going into it. They're distractions in the sense that we talked about at the beginning the mind is so afraid of not only of the dark belief seemingly the ego in there, but it's afraid of what's beneath the ego which is the light, terrified, because the ego has said, don't go near that light. God, you pull yourself away from heaven and boy if you ever get down here into the mind and go back to that light that light will just strike you dead so fast, you know, it will obliviate you. So the mind has kind of run away from the light and into the form, into the world of specifics and it's kind of like clinging and attaching itself to specific forms and to give itself some meaning because it feels like it's thrown away the kingdom of heaven.