 Asian American writer Amy Tan had a difficult relationship with her mother, Daisy. At one point, Daisy held a knife to her throat and threatened to kill her when the two of them argued over Amy's new boyfriend. Daisy would often threaten to kill herself and attempted suicide once, but failed, hoping to join her mother who died committing suicide. Amy Tan grew up with a neurotic, toxic relationship with her mother that was life-threatening and traumatizing. What's scary about toxic relationships is that the signs aren't always clearly visible. In fact, some girls don't realize they have an unhealthy bond with their mothers until they are older, or in some cases, when it's too late. Has there always been a subtle tension between you and your mother, but you're not sure why? Do you often feel afraid of your mother? Here's six types of unhealthy mother-daughter relationships. 1. Buzzing Buddies This is when the mother is more concerned about being her daughter's best friend more than playing the role of a parent. The mother knows every little detail about her daughter's life, and although she offers great emotional support, as her daughter gets older and wants to branch out and do independent activities, the mother will continue to smother her. In this type of relationship, the daughter rarely gets disciplined by her mother and has a hard time building practical life skills because she wasn't given the proper guidance. 2. Boss and Subordinate This is when the mother wants to control and dominate her daughter's life. The mother is often very demanding, rigid, close-minded, and expects the daughter to follow her rules and expectations. She typically lacks empathy and puts pressure on her daughter to perform well. The daughter often feels as though she has to be perfect to win her mother's approval. She also suffers from low self-esteem problems and fears being rejected or judged harshly by others. As the daughter gets older, she will grow resentful of her mother and will typically rebel whether it's done loudly or quietly. 3. Rivals In this relationship, the mother sees her daughter as a rival or threat. Although the mother may seem as though she is supportive of her daughter, on the inside she feels insecure about herself when she's with her. The mother constantly compares herself to her daughter to see who is prettier, thinner, smarter, and more successful. Rather than developing a relationship based on understanding and acceptance, the daughter usually feels internally conflicted and unworthy. 4. The role reversal relationship This is when the mother expects her daughter to play the role of a parent and be there to support her. This relationship is one-sided and the daughter feels abandoned, used, and neglected. The mother is only concerned about her own needs and makes sure she's the one being nurtured by her daughter. At a young age, the daughter learned that she must sacrifice herself and put others first. As she gets older, she often suffers from low self-esteem issues and has a hard time saying no and setting healthy boundaries for herself. 5. The ghost In this relationship, the mother can either be emotionally and or physically unavailable to her daughter. If the mother is emotionally unavailable, she may choose to withdraw or withhold love from her daughter and give it to her other child. If the mother decides to ghost, she leaves and gives her daughter up to either her other biological parent or another guardian who can take care of her. The daughter usually doesn't receive an explanation or closure for why her mother left and usually grows up with an empty void. 6. Good mom, bad mom This is an erratic relationship between the mother and daughter. The daughter never knows whether the bad mom or good mom will show up. She often faces hot and cold treatment from her and fears her mom. The mother usually acts good when they are out in public and there are others around them. She displays kind behavior, smiles and pretends to care for her daughter. But when it's just the two of them, the mother will show her true colors and acts dismissive, neglectful and cold. In this relationship, the mother only wants to put up a good image when she has to and fails to connect with her daughter. Which type of unhealthy mother-daughter relationship do you resonate with? We know how hard it is to talk about toxic family dynamics and want to be a safe, non-judgmental place for you. Be sure to share your story with us down below. Also, don't forget to subscribe for more content from Psych2Go and check out our Patreon. Thanks for watching.