 I'm the Comic Weekly Man, the Jolly Comic Weekly Man, and I'm here to read the funnies to you happy boys and honeys. Yes, boys and girls, it's Comic Weekly Time, and here I come right into your house to bring a little fun and happiness. Right out of the pages of Puck the Comic Weekly, straight into your living room, your friend the Comic Weekly Man, the Jolly Comic Weekly Man. Hello, hello, hello. Hello, hello, hello. Well, little Miss Sonny, how are you today? Oh, I'm just fine. Thank you. How are you? Oh, I'm fine, too. You know the day. Well, quick, ask her of me. What? When is a door not a door? Uh, when it's still a tree and not cut up? No. When it's locked at night and can't be opened? No. I give up. When is a door not a door? Oh, that's very good. When a door is a little bit open, you call that being slightly a jar. And a jocin. And I like applesauce best when you put a little cinnamon in it. I like it best when it's an apple pie. I would you like it when it's apple jam? I love it if it's on raisin toast. And since raisin toast is never a jar, I'm sure you can have it. I like it funny. Puck the Comic Weekly. Very well, I'll read that in just a moment. But before I do, let's listen to this nice man. Go with Puck the Comic Weekly. And on the first page, under bringing up father, Beatle Bailey. Magic words for the music, please. Very well, my lady. Toot me a toot and tweet me a tweedle. Squeeze out music for Bailey the Beatle. Beatle and a couple of his pals are in town, enjoying themselves at Bowling Alley. Beatle's pal says, Hey, you ready to go, Beatle, you're first up. Beatle, who's over at the rack where the ball's a stack, says, I'm looking for that ball I had last week. One of the balls comes rolling back onto the rack. And... Oh! Hits Beatle's smack in the hand. Lucky, that wasn't my bowling hand. Wish I could find my regular ball. Then last picture top row, he sees the ball he's looking for. But a girl on the other side of the rack has picked it up. Beatle exclaims, Hi, there it is. And he grabs the ball just as she throws it. She slips and falls as her arms come forward. And she slides all the way down the alley. And first picture bottom row hits the bowling pins head first. Beatle yells, The girl's boyfriend sees what happened. Second picture bottom row, he walks over. And he picks up Beatle. Hey, did I say something wrong? And throws Beatle down the bowling alley. Beatle skids last picture head first into the pins. Hey! And last picture lands at the feet of the setup boy. Who yells? It certainly was. That was some bowling game. Yes, those army boys. Yes, those army boys. Well, now let's turn over the page and see what's happened to Prince Val. On Tuesday. Well, we'll find out right now. Here we go with Prince Valiant in the days of King Arthur. Eckett, Brickett, Gray, Morkin and Quince. Music romantic for a fair, fair prince. It's been rather quiet at Val's home lately, but today it's different. A dragon ship has come into the fjord and makes fast. It's Val's friend, Voltar, the sea king, the great fighter, home from far coast with plunder for all. You know time at all. First picture, second row. Voltar's at the castle, greeting his wife, Tillicombe, with a rib-cracking hug. As Val and Elita and little Prince aren't look on. His shouts of joy and delight at being back can even be heard by the watchmen in the tower and the wine keeper in the vaults way down low in the castle. Tar wants Tillicombe to go home with him. After all, she's his wife, but also she's little Arne's nurse, and she wants little Arne to come along with her. Val finally consents to let little Arne go along, and Arne wants to because he considers Voltar the loudest hero in the world. And then it's settled. Last picture, second row, Voltar roars. Come, little chicken, away we go. Voltar's men smile to see him now quietly coming from the castle. First picture, bottom row, with his wife and little Prince Arne looking a little bashful. He has many friends, and his men would follow him to the ends of the earth. But Voltar also has enemies who hate him with equal enthusiasm. And when his enemies learn that Prince Arne is a guest in Voltar's house, last picture they gather to plot a shameful scheme to discredit Voltar with the king. I really don't know what they plan to do with him. But they're making an easy plan. Yes, I know because they want to make it look as though Voltar doesn't take good care of little Arne. I wonder what they will do. Next week we'll find out more about this, and I hope it won't be anything bad. Oh, so do I. Well, now let's turn over the page. Oh, look at that. And we'll read that right away. Here we go with Donald Duck. Say the magic words with me. Squid jump, squid jump, squiddly, chicken track. Let's have music to finish. Quack, quack. Donald sees a sign in a toy shop downtown. Target pistol, absolutely harmless. Won't even break a light bulb. Only two and a half dollars. Donald exclaims, My, my, a harmless toy for the boy. Then by the time you can go, Donald is home with a new toy gun. And he says, I better test it before I give it to the boy. Last picture top row, he points the pistol at his neighbor's window and pulls the trigger. First picture bottom row, he sees his neighbor's window completely shattered. Donald exclaims, Well, that's there's nothing to do but face up and pay off. So he rings his neighbor's doorbell. Mr. Jones, sir, I accidentally broke your window and I'm here to pay for it. The neighbor reaches for the money. And your second childhood buster, give me. A minute later, fourth picture bottom row, Donald is going back into his house, looking very sad. His three nephews peek around the corner with an anxious look in their eyes. As he goes into the house, they hear Donald say, Not even a light bulb they said. Last picture, his three nephews ring Mr. Jones doorbell. And Louis says to Mr. Jones, Hey, Mr. Jones, be a baseball in your front room. I bet you I know what happened. I think I do too. And Donald thought it was his gun that had broken the window. Yes, nephew. I wonder too. Well, now look across the page. Oh, there's government Indian reservation. Yes, he learned that Sam put the gold dust in a hollow spoke of the wheel of the stage coat. And so he's get it. Well, let's find out right now. Here we go with Roy Rogers, king of the cowboy. Hi, yippie-yo. Now here we go with Roy and Trigger. Hi, yippie-yo. Airpin Hobbs forces Roy at the point of the gun to remove the spoke with the gold dust in it from the wagon. Roy hands it to Hobbs. Airpin makes sure the gold dust is there, pours some of it into his hand, and then exclaims, Yeah, beautiful stuff in it. Shorty evens me up with Till for him trying to plug me. At this moment, a passenger in the stagecoach quickly slips behind Airpin. It drops to his hands and knees behind him. Quickly, Roy leaps at Airpin and pushes him against the passenger. Airpin trips over the customer and falls to the ground, dropping his gun. Roy exclaims, Well, that was quick thinking, Mr. Thanks. Last picture top row as the driver brings a rope to tie up Airpin, Roy says, smart enough to give Airpin Hobbs a free stage ride to jail and saddle gap. I'll take that gun, Mr. In the meantime, Sam Till has arrived at the stagecoach delivery station where he means to intercept the stagecoach and get Roy. The sheriff's office happens to be next door to the delivery stable. But the sheriff has gone off and left the office in charge of a man named Denver, who is one of Sam Till's crooked partners. Second picture bottom row, Sam is telling Denver, Yeah, a meddling cow poop named Roy Rogers is headed out here to find out who receives the gold I secretly ship out on the stages. Denver nervously exclaims, Well, that means he'll have me. I don't hanker for a stretch in Dale. I'm leaving. Sam pulls a gun. No, you don't. You're helping me recover that dust from the stage and get rid of Rogers. That moment last picture the stagecoach drives up. Roy rains in in front of the sheriff's office and calls to the driver. All right, keep it out. Airpin Hobbs driver, I'll fetch the sheriff. We're in trouble because he won't expect to find the sheriff there. Yes, that could happen. Well, is he? Yes, Roy could use some help right now. Do you think the sheriff will come back? Well, that's something we'll find out next week. Now let's turn over the page and see what we can find. All right. We're on the American Navy under that handsome young lieutenant's named Oliver Perry. Yes, Oliver Perry has been appointed to command the United States Navy and sweep the British off Lake Erie. Yes, we have all kinds of ships on Lake Erie, but when Oliver Perry and Dick got to Lake Erie, they found out that there weren't any American ships at all and so they have to build their own Navy. And last week, they began to build their own ships. But I wonder if they'll build them in time to beat the British. Well, let's read now and find out. Here we go with Dick's adventures. Say the magic words with me. Rake it, pack, cazack, zick. Let's have music for adventure to stick. On the shore of Lake Erie, the hard-working Americans speed the building of their ships hidden by the wilderness. Three gunboats and two briggs. Last picture. Top row. Begin to take shape. But the going is slow and time is important. Perry's greatest problem is manpower. Many men are needed to build the ships. But though new recruits do arrive and report into Dick, first picture, second row, men from Faroq, Norfolk, New York and Boston, they come so slowly there's only a trickle of Navy shipwrights, sailors and guns into the strange Faroq naval outpost. Many, many more are needed. Always there's the worry of the British finding out what the Americans are up to and on the sandbar commanding the view of the lake, sentries, second picture, second row, keep a sharp look out for the British fleet. But the British have sharp-eyed spies. Last picture, second row, Indians in the forest watch the Americans at work. And first picture bottom row at the friendly town of Detroit captured by the British. The Indians report to the British captain every day and tell him of Perry's secret plans. Then suddenly a dawn, a few days later last picture comes the dreaded moment. The shout electrifies the camp. To your guns! Dick's warning sends the whole of campmen to protect Perry's half-built fleet which stands high and dry and defenseless. Yes, it is because if the Americans cannot finish building the ship, they'll have no way of fighting the British Navy. Yes, there is that danger or the Indians might slip into camp and burn them. We'll find out next week. But now look below, Dick's adventures. There's Rusty Riley and I'll read him in just a moment. But first here's that nice man again with something interesting to say. Here we go again with Puck the Comic Weekly and on the last page of the first section at the bottom of the page Rusty Riley. Magic words for the music, please. Very well, my lady. Gallop would run till the road is dusty. Give us music for his horse and Rusty. It's only one day before the Bluebrook Handicap races to be run. The race which Rusty has entered his horse base piloting the $1,000 to give to Mrs. Jones to keep her from losing her farm to the crooked Mr. Marlowe. Rusty had met an unusual character named Stovepipe who had told him that his horse needed different shoes if he was going to win the race. So they have taken the horse to a blacksmith who has changed the horse's shoes and then he tells Rusty the charge is $20. Rusty doesn't have the money. The blacksmith says he won't let him take space pilot away until he gets his $20. Second picture top is Rusty. She whizzed this is awful. We just gotta win that race or Nell and her mother will lose their home. Oh golly of text was only here. Stovepipe answers, I feel that I am responsible for this predicament. Therefore I shall temporarily accept the offer of my old friend Denver Dule. Some hours later that afternoon first picture bottom row the blacksmith says to the boys sorry kids but if the old gentleman come back soon I'll have to lock up for the night. I got a date for a ball game. Rusty answers golly we can't leave space pilot here all night the race is tomorrow give us a half an hour we'll go to the fairgrounds and get him. As the boys near the fairgrounds Pete says Rusty what did Mr. Stovepipe say you know when he said about being a disciple of hippo a hippo well that hippo something what did he mean? Rusty answers oh hippocrates well that's fancy talk for a doctor I heard it on a radio once the boys get to the fairgrounds and they make a quick search last picture Rusty suddenly exclaims hey jiggers there he is Pete looks up and sees their friend Stovepipe up on a platform beside an Indian in full regalia and there's a big sign in front of them which says Ramapo snake oil nature's wonder drug and they hear Stovepipe speaking to the crowd and my friends before my assistants pass among you with this wonder working panacea I ask you to observe the radiant health of chief little hawk the discoverer of Ramapo snake oil and Pete says so that's what a disciple of hypocrite he is for the horses shoes yes you figure then I think it's wonderful that he has oh no no I don't think I've ever needed it yes he does but then you do too well thank you I hope the Stovepipe sells enough of that snake oil to get the twenty dollars to pay for the horses shoes so do I and we'll find out next week if he does now let's pick up the first page of the second section oh yes today so here we go on the first page of the second section of Puck the Comic Weekly with Dagwood and Blondie Ramaphoo Ramaphum Zim Zim Zombie couldn't you be music for Dagwood and Blondie Blondie says to Dagwood Mr. Schrader is sick and I made this pot of soup for him oh I'll take it over there a moment later Dagwood is in Mrs. Schrader's kitchen and has handed her the pot of soup just then Mrs. Schrader's doorbell rings Dagwood says to her well I'll answer Mrs. Schrader you take the soup up to your husband so last picture top row Dagwood opens Mrs. Schrader's door and a traveling salesman says I'm selling can openers may I speak to your wife Dagwood answers oh she's busy she can't come to the door now and Dagwood goes upstairs and finds Mr. Schrader enjoying his soup and Mr. Schrader says uh thank Blondie for me Dagwood this soup is delicious a moment later Dagwood is at home last picture second row and he's reporting to Blondie Mrs. Schrader send her thanks Blondie just then the doorbell rings who's at our front door I have to go down to the laundry okay so Dagwood goes to the front door first picture next row and there's the salesman he saw at the Schrader house and the salesman says uh I'm selling can openers may I speak to your wife Dagwood answers oh she's busy she can't come to the door now outside on the doorstep the salesman who has just come from the Schrader's house where Dagwood had just come to the door suddenly goes I'm positive that's the same guy who told me his wife was busy up the street he turns around and begins to pound on Dagwood's door make a mess make a mess inside the house first picture bottom row Dagwood exclaims great spot the whole neighborhood will hear him he dashes to the door be quiet please be quiet I promise to buy all your can openers if you'll be quiet last picture Dagwood comes in the house his arms filled with can openers Blondie says what Dagwood snarls just because I've got so many can openers oh for Dagwood oh boy yes and he has to buy all of those can openers now he can sell them himself say you're a smart little girl yes I am am I yes you are well now let's turn over the page and see who's there oh look there's Robin Hood yes Robin Hood oh and you remember and Robin Hood and his men were very angry and when Marion told them that King Richard was held a prisoner in a far off country and could not be freed unless lots of ransom money was paid for him Robin Hood and his men gave Marion every cent they had and told her to take it to the queen to help free the king and that should show up many well let's read now and find out here we go with a story of Robin Hood it's Mary Mary England in days long ago time now for Robin Hood some music hi ho the maid Marion escorted by prior Tuck who is one of Robin Hood's friends arrived safely at Nottingham she comes into the square where she finds a huge crowd on the steps of the castle sits the queen the cardinal and Prince John in front of them is a table and standing beside it is the sheriff of Nottingham who hates Robin Hood and was Prince John's friend this special occasion has been set aside so the people can donate money to buy King Richard's freedom the maid Marion comes to the table places on it a huge sack of coins telling the queen this is money given by Robin Hood and his men to prove their loyalty to the king last picture top row one of the men in the crowd shouts now where is your gift sir sheriff first picture bottom row and other shouts marks from the sheriff as the crowd shouts for the sheriff to prove his loyalty to King Richard by donating a thousand marks Robin Hood and two of his men slip into the sheriff's house they overpower the sheriff's service all right men tie them up I'll open the vault and then they fill a chest with the sheriff's hoard of money which he's gotten by taxing the poor people of the kingdom and a short time later they make their way through the crowd they see the sheriff hold up his hand they see the people quiet down and hear the sheriff say I would to heaven I could give ten times that amount for my king but the sheriff stops in astonishment for he sees last picture Robin and his men still in disguise come to the table carrying a chest filled with boxes of money and jewelry a chest that he knows is his and Robin says heaven has heard your plea oh lord high sheriff as you bet it looks like he did bringing the sheriff's money there just at the time when the sheriff was trying to say he didn't have it in the morning not in front of those people he can't yes and that could make a lot more trouble for Robin Hood well now let's go across the page and see who's there oh I'm afraid that that spaceship that they were in would crash into the sun and Flash was afraid that they'd all be killed but he got away alright yes he escaped just in time from crashing into the sun and he zoomed off in another direction but this time his spaceship crashed into the sea on the planet Venus you think? yes there's great danger of that well quick read and let's see what happens very well here we go with Flash Gordon Rigger Rigger Doon Doon, Sasuke Matash let's have music for Heroic Flash trapped when the seal space sphere crashes into the sea on the planet Venus Dale has a moment's panic as she realizes their ship is sinking in the strange oily morass that surrounds them Flash realizes they'll have to quickly get out of their ship which is sealed tight so using the flame gun as a torch Flash hastily carves a section out of the ship's hull he says you'll make some paddles too if this section will float we'll use it as a life raft and row ashore last picture top row they barely launch their makeshift boat before the spaceship sinks but their paddling makes little headway in the clear clinging liquid Zarkov says this isn't water small like melted rubber or some silicon oil don't fall overboard he couldn't swim in this sticky stuff suddenly first picture bottom roll they discover what kind of preachers can swim in a Venusian sea surfacing nearby a swarm of fishmen head for the castaways in an obvious attempt to capture them hoping to frighten off the planet's strange hostile natives Flash fires a warning shot with his flame gun but when the fireball hits the silicon sea the explosion rocks his little ship nearly dumping him overboard and then Flash has an idea he decides to use his rocket pistol as a jet to drive the ship forward so last picture he braces the flame gun against the stern of the boat then turns on the heat and the boat goes forward like a speedboat as they roar off Flash shouts hang on everybody see yes he's getting away but I wonder for how long neither do I we'll find that out next week now that's all the time I have but before I go here's that nice fellow with some more interesting information get all your boys and girls I gotta go now alright next week on the date with all your boys and girls be sure to meet me with our little friend Miss Honey next week when I read Puck the comic weekly or I'm the comic weekly man the jolly comic weekly man I'll be back to read the funnies to you happy boys and honey don't forget boys and girls see you all next week your friend the comic weekly man the jolly comic weekly man