 Gun alert! I'm Khaleesi Grimes, 82, and today I want to talk about something serious for a moment, particularly here in America. There have been a lot of mass shootings happening over the years here, and it's hard for people to come together as a cohesive unit and figure out the solution. Except for it's not hard at all, it's actually super simple! We need to ban all video games. Did you know that playing even an hour of a video game every day will turn you into a bloody maniac? The whiz kids that we've elected have determined that the thing that triggers kids the most—triggered, playing words because of guns—is playing horrific games like Fortnite! Hell, I didn't believe it at first, until I thought about my own personal experiences with video games. And then it kind of starts to ring true. Because I love Mario. Sorry, I'm a geek. Sorry, I'm a geek. Shoot me. And as a Mario aficionado, a mushroom head, I can't go a single day without thinking about how fun it would be to jump on top of a small person's head and crush them into the pavement. Glad as a pancake. Obviously, it's not just a video games issue. We have to look at all the serious angles. Movies. The rap music the kids listen to. And of course, TV shows on Netflix. Especially TV shows on Netflix. It's the call of duties of the world. The grand theft autos. The journeys. All these things are turning people into psychopaths! Now I know what some of you cynics might be saying. Khaleesi, why is it only an American issue? There's other countries out there and they also have access to these very same video games. Why are they shooting up the place? Well, that answer is simple. It's because Americans in general have a much higher midichlorian count. Sometimes referred to as cholesterol. Using these midichlorians, we're able to store more fatty information internally. Bad information that can lead to anger, fear, and diabetes. So the next time you think about firing up uncharted, maybe take heed of the title and don't chart it. Mortal Kombat 11 is basically an invitation that wants you to rip off a person's jaw and take a selfie with the lifeless corpse. Which I've tried to do, BTWs, multiple times and failed because I have the strength of a toddler. Due to my inactive nature from playing video games for seven to ten hours a day. My bones are nothing more than gelatin that work better as wings than they do as muscles. I don't think it's a stretch either to say that games like Kirby are teaching a new generation how to be cannibalistic. One time I picked up Smash Brothers assuming that it was going to be a steamy sausage fest that the whole family could enjoy. Only to find out it was another disgusting hand-to-hand combat brainwashing beat-em-up. And since playing the game there is not a day that goes by that I don't drive to the nearest home depot looking for a comically large mallet that I can swing over my head and try to knock somebody clear off the planet. There was another time when I came home to find a man. So cliche. Trying to break my window and enter into my house. Unwelcome. And side note, just one fucking time! I would love if the person breaking in was a strong female lead! Sorry haters. They can do criminal activity too. Hollywood told me so. My previous point though about this burglar was I found out via the news that he loved playing Minecraft. What does breaking a window in Minecraft have in common? Really nothing that I can think of. Except for that you break stuff in Minecraft too! Coincidence? Coins and no. Coins and no. And last time I checked the second amendment isn't the right to bear video games. So let's just get rid of the whole lot of them. I think the biggest tragedy in all of this is it doesn't work hand in hand with every facet of video games. For instance I have yet to have a scantily clad woman come up to me and offer me sex in exchange for finding her missing puppy, which I would love, which would be great, which I would love, which would be great. So I'm asking you to join me in a celebratory fashion as we burn to the ground every video game, every movie, every CD, every book. It's the only way we're truly going to be free of this gun violence in America. And no one else. Nerd alert! I'm super popped to talk to you some more. So make sure to subscribe to The Cringe. You can check out more of The Cringe if you like what I'm doing. I think you do. Take care. It's like I'm leaving, but I'm not.