 Colgate Dettel Cream to clean your breath while you clean your teeth and help stop tooth decay and Luster cream shampoo for soft glamorous caressible hair bring you our miss Brooks starring Eve Arden It's time once again for another comedy episode of our miss Brooks written by Al Lewis Well with spring upon us bigger and better playgrounds for children are the order of the day Madison High School where our miss Brooks teaches English Promptly volunteered to help its local Chamber of Commerce collect funds for this worthy cause That's why our beloved principal Osgood Conklin called us into his office early Friday morning Us consisted of mr. Boynton and myself as faculty advisors Walter Denton the student who runs the school paper and Harriet Conklin the student who runs Walter Denton As soon as we were all seated mr. Conklin addressed us We are here to discuss a project which is near and dear to my heart Children's playgrounds in this community. I'm sure I cannot overemphasize the importance of the little ones in our present day Civilization we got enough little ones what the Chamber of Commerce wants is some big playground If that was intended as a witticism Denton it missed the mark I don't know. I thought it had a certain quiet miss Brooke To help raise money for this worthy project We are holding a charity auction in our gym at four o'clock this afternoon However, due to a very poor publicity campaign Handled by Denton Not very many people know about it But daddy the poor publicity was no walters ball. No, it wasn't mr. Conklin. He had lots of other duties Yes, sir. He's been managing the basketball team for one thing just a minute It's very nice of you all to defend me, but I'd rather have this hot with mr. Conklin myself Now about that publicity campaign mr. Conklin. What about the campaign? What I want from you all now suggestions to stimulate public interest in our auction and bring out a big crowd of bidders Perhaps we could take some spot announcements on the radio. Yes, that would reach a lot of people Miss brooks. Have you any idea what a 30 second spot announcement costs? We don't have to buy 30 seconds We could take about five and say something quick like today auction Madison high school But miss brooks, that sounds as if we're auctioning off the school. Is that bad? I mean if the object is just to lure people over any feasible suggestions I have an idea mr. Conklin Undoubtedly How about you Harriet? Can you think of anything? I think we should mimeograph some hand bills and pass them out door to door during lunch period A lot of us kids could take different neighborhoods and really plaster the town Excellent Harriet. Yes, indeed this town hasn't been plastered in years What's your idea walter? Well, I was thinking maybe we could paint a big banner and let it fly over the business district all day Fly over you mean trailing from the flagpole on some big building. No trailing from a zeppelin A zeppelin. Oh, I don't mean the big type zeppelin. He means the small compact zeppelin suitable for home or office Mr. Boynton you suppose you could inject a note of sanity into this discussion Well, I have thought of a rather fascinating scheme, sir It's quite humorous too. Oh, let's have it Well, I've got about a dozen frogs in the laboratory now. I keep them there for the purpose of We know what they're there for mr. Boynton, and I just had breakfast I'm sorry. Well, my idea is to take them all into the heart of the town. I'd have them on on little leashes, of course and Get this mr. Conklin. They'd be dragging a sign behind them The frogs would be Go on boy Well, the sign the frogs would be dragging would say It'd say come to the Madison gym today things will sure be hopping Mr. Boynton you have my permission to take your idea and hop out of this room I really think the handbills will do the trick dad. So do I Harriet miss brooks. Do you concur frequently? I'd like to discuss something now that we all seem to have overlooked Namely if our auction is to be a success. We lack one fairly important item. What's that something to auction off A very cogent observation However, the members of the student body were asked to bring their parents donations to school this morning and leave them Just outside the classrooms. You miss brooks will be in charge of augmenting these donations me open mr. Conklin I've got other things now tell the truth miss brooks. Is there anything as important as raising money for children's playground? Yes, sir raising children for the playground Hey, you hear that mr. Boynton when you can ask quiet walter And I want to help in this campaign and you're going to I know where we might be able to get some more merchandise for the Auction for mr. Jessup. He's a pretty good friend of my dad. Oh, you mean jd. Jessup the big real estate man Yes, sir. He's the biggest philanthropist in this part of the country Contributes to everything and anything. Huh. He's a natural born sucker for a worthwhile cause Charmingly put walter and do get in touch with mr. Sucker. Uh jessup Now mr. Boynton, you will see to it that the auction tables are set up in the gym Oh, yes, sir You miss brooks with the assistance of my daughter will inspect the merchandise outside the classrooms and jot down the Approximate value of each object prior to the auction, but mr. Conklin Why do I have to go through all that because in addition to obtaining more material for this affair? I have also decided to put you in charge of auctioning it off Meetings adjourned. Oh, but sir. I said meetings adjourned. Good day. Oh That's quite an honor daddy conferred on you miss brooks. Just think your head auctioneer Yes, and we both know whose head I'd like to auction off first One broken lamp one pretty beat-up coffee pot Hey, look at this an old mix master. It looks as if somebody dropped it in the new mix master Not much of a haul so far But I better jot it all down anyway Now what's this a box of christmas tree ornaments. That's timely One woollen sock a busted harmonica and here's one ice skate One icing that'll be for the fellow who gets the one sock Oh, here's an item that should bring in plenty a rusty doorknob If you use a pair of torn woollen gloves and look at this Harriet one blue jay corn plaster That's for the fellow with the one sock in the ice skate Oh, we've got to do better than this daddy would have donated some things himself miss brooks But we traded in all our old furniture for the stuff that's going into our new house Oh, that's right. You're moving soon. Aren't you uh-huh late this afternoon I'm sure daddy'll invite you over as soon as we're settled your mother might but not your daddy He's been angry with me all week Harriet That's why he's piling all this extra work on me to get even get even for what a slight accident that occurred in his Office on monday. He asked me to cut the price tag off a new umbrella. He'd bought and I took a scissors and went after it Unfortunately my hand slipped and I cut a nick in the material of the umbrella. How big a nick two yards Ever since then he's been looking daggers at me or at least sharp umbrellas Well, I've got to get into my next class Harriet. We'll have to continue this checkup during study period All right, miss brooks and please don't take daddy's tantrums too seriously Just remember his bark is much worse than his bite And even more appropriate slogan would be let sleeping dogs lie What? Oh, I'm sorry Harriet. I didn't mean that the way it sounds I wouldn't for a minute want you to think that I considered your father asleep Our miss brooks starring eve arden will continue in just a moment, but first Here is verne smith. 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Boynton a collector's item if I ever saw one Here's a nice table by the window miss brooks. Oh good now. We can throw the food away without any trouble Oh, it isn't as bad as it was. I think the food's picked up. I know they don't want you to step in it Well the gym's all set for the auction this afternoon. I'm glad you reminded me mr. Boynton You know some of the donations are in pretty good shape and there may be some real bargains on the block this afternoon Do you think so? Absolutely If somebody wanted to furnish a little love nest for instance, he could probably do it for next to nothing I'll bet he could at that. Yes, sir Anybody with marriage on his mind could save a pretty penny today Get a real cozy apartment started If I run into anybody contemplating such a step, I'll certainly tell him about it Well, I tried No, I could use a couple of things for my apartment at that When you inspected the stuff this morning, you didn't run across a pair of and irons. Did you as a matter of fact? I did. I don't know who donated them, but they look almost brand new Gee, maybe I can pick them up reasonably at the auction Well, why wait we can go look at them right after lunch And if you like them we'll have a one-man auction and I'll see that you get them for a fair price Oh, but miss Brooks, would that be fair to the general public? Oh, haven't you heard they've got hand irons Have you seen stretch snod grass anywhere Harriet? No daddy, I haven't I told that dummy to bring lunch to my office 20 minutes ago Please daddy. That's no way to talk about Madison star athlete. He may be a star athlete But it's his brains that need the exercise Calm down daddy. I'm going into the cafeteria now and I'll see what's keeping him Oh before I go daddy, I just spoke to mother on the phone and she told me all the living room furniture has been delivered to the new house She says she just knows you're going to love it Mother has such wonderful taste. Don't you think? Obviously she married me Oh one more thing daddy the store made a mistake and delivered our and irons to the school here instead of the new house They're right outside your office now What am I supposed to do with them bring them home with you after school? They're awfully pretty daddy. Come on. Take a look at them. Well, there's nothing better to do while I'm waiting for that dunderhead Here they are aren't they pretty? Oh, they're all right, I guess mother paid 12 dollars for them Say they're pretty I'd better get into the cafeteria. I'll send stretch in with your lunch as soon as I find him See you later daddy. Very well Harriet. I'll be in my office. Why everything has to happen all at once. I'll never know Where are those and irons I saw this morning? Are these them? Yes, those are them These are those Yep, them's the and irons always They're perfect just what I had in mind. Good. Tell you what I'm gonna do Step in a little closer, bud. What am I offered for these lovely and irons? How about 50 cents? This boy is closer than I thought I've got 50. Do I hear more if not for me? Why I'd give 75 cents for these myself Well, I'll make it 80 now you're talking. I got 80 cents 80 I've got going once for 80 going twice for 80. I'll bid 85 cents That's the spirit. I've got 80 pot. Oh, you're not in this mr. Conford. I'm not no, sir Mr. Boyden needs these and irons and well, I think 80 cents is a fair price Oh, so do I miss Brooks considering that I just paid $12 for them $12 I'm terribly sorry, mr. Conkel. We didn't know they were yours. That's quite all right, Boyden But just to be on the safe side. I'll take them with me I'd better get back into my office before miss Brooks sells my socks We just need one Hello, mr. Conkel I got your lunch. Well, it's about time snodgrass come with me I know I know Put everything on my desk snodgrass Yes, sir. Here's your copy. I just put sugar and cream in it and I'm sure just the way you like it I'm sure it is except that I ordered tea with lemon Oh, I'm sorry, mr. Conkel. I'll change it. Never mind. Where's my sandwich? Here it is bacon and tomato and whole wheat wasn't it? Yes, it was stretch And I suppose that's why you've brought me peanut butter on gluten bread Oh I must have got confused. I want me to take it back. It's too late now. I'll eat it But before you leave, I have another errand for you You could save me a lot of trouble if you would take these andions over to my new house The address is 616 Anderson avenue. Is that clear stretch? Yes, sir. You want me to take these? Uh What are they again? Andions. Oh, yeah, uh, you want me to take these and irons over to your new house that uh, uh What was that address again? 616 Anderson avenue. It's very simple if you associate and irons with anderson avenue. You see Oh, sure. You want me to take these anderson's over there? You want to write out the address for you? There you are now put it in your pocket and don't lose it. Okay, mr. Conklin Oh, by the way, it's not grass. Mrs. Conklin may be out shopping So just leave the and irons on the front porch. Yes, sir Hiya stretch boy. What a deal. I just made with mr. Jessup. Who's he waller? He's the big philanthropist Yes, he owns real estate all over this town And he just told me that one of his houses is being torn down in a few days to make room for the new freeway Oh, that's too bad. No, it isn't instead of selling the furniture in it to a second hand store Mr. Jessup is donating it to our charity bazaar. He said we could help ourselves to anything we want Boy, that's good. No, you got to do me a favor stretch I have to get some lunch now and I want you to find miss brooks and ask her to make arrangements to have that furniture picked up The address is 211 iron side avenue 211 iron side avenue. Yeah, I wrote it on this slip of paper Here, I'll put it in your pocket so you don't lose it. But waller. I sure appreciate you're doing this for me stretch I'll see you later. Wait a minute Gosh, I always got everything mixed up Let's see. Mr. Conklin's new address is on this slip of paper. Where is it? What was it? Mr. Conklin said again associate and irons iron side. That's it. Sure The and irons go to 211 iron side avenue and we pick up the furniture at 616 Anderson avenue It was certainly generous of mr. Jessup to donate a house full of furniture It sure was even if he is a big philanthe steady boy I hope we're near the place. It's 315 and the auction's supposed to start at four Besides, I've ordered the moving van for 330. Well, it's only another couple of blocks Well, I'm sorry. I was late picking up miss brooks, but I had to drop some and irons off at mr. Conklin's new house I know them. Well, I almost sold them to mr. Boyden Well, this is the place 616 Anderson avenue say that's a rather pretty house It's a shame. They have to tear it down make room for the freeway Come on miss brooks. Let's go and pick out the furniture we want for the auction. All right stretch Have you got a key to the place? Walter didn't say nothing about no key, but I'll get us in. All right. I'll just kick in a window But stretch you can't do that. Why not places being torn down anyway. Oh, I know What'd you say miss brooks? I was just making conversation Well, this window's too small. I can't reach the door now. Oh wait, there's a french window over here This one's on me. I've got french heels on Let me help you You know something stretch one more kick and the freeway can go through here without moving the house Three for a dollar 75 and now folks will have a brief intermission Why are you doing that miss brooks? We still got a whole bunch of furniture to auction off I'm just stalling walter. I'm hoping some bigger spenders will drop in I think it's a shame to let a beautiful rug like that last one go for a dollar 75 Me too, mrs. Davis, and I hated to sell that lovely piano for 1950 I'll just have to get higher bids on the remaining items. Oh, oh miss brooks. Yes, mr. Boynham. Uh, what would I have to offer you on that red plush love seat? Just a little encouragement I have an idea how we can get higher prices Connie why don't I act as sort of a shill a shill? Yes, I learned that word from my brother victor when I was a little girl He was in the theatrical business, you know Yes, I know mrs. Davis during intermission He always used to sell me the first box of cracker jack with a wristwatch in it What I'll do is just stimulate the bidding a little. Well, it is for a good cause Everybody I trust the money is pouring into the till frankly, mr. Conklin. It's just drizzling in I'm waiting for harriott's handbills to show a little better result Have a seat and make yourself at home, won't you? Well, that should be easy miss brooks as I look at this furniture about me I feel as if I am at home Take that lamp for example, it's almost an exact duplicate of what my wife bought last week cost over 40 dollars What did that one go for my ass seven and a half? Seven and a half That is a bargain, isn't it? Now then in as much as this project is so close to my heart. I think I should participate Now take that red plush love seat for example. It would be a perfect match for one. I have it home paid $150 for it Put it up for auction right now miss brooks, but mr. Conklin. This is intermission Well, just for our little group those others seem quite lethargic anyway, but it's supposed to be a public auction Mr. Conklin. Well, we're the public aren't we mrs. Davis dentin mr. Boyndon and that'll be plenty Um, how much money do you have dentin two dollars? Oh fine fine How much have you got mr. Boyndon about 45 dollars somebody died Well, let's begin miss brooks and put up the love seat now. I'll start the bidding. I bid three dollars already. I'm shut out of the bidding I kind of had my eye on that too. I'll offer five dollars a going going ten dollars 15 going 25 35 40 45 46 I bid $47 wait a minute. How can you bid $47? I'm loaning my two bucks to mr. Boyndon not doing me any good I'll put an end to this bidding right now. I bid $50. Yes, sir I'm bid $50 for this lovely red plush love seat going one going twice 55 Where did that come from? Oh, oh, it's you mr. Davis. Well, if you bid 55, I guess I'll have to bid 65 75 85 I've got 85 going once going twice last chance. Let's have another bid or this gentleman gets it for 85 Going going remember folks in addition to this beautiful love seat. I'm throwing in absolutely free a box of cracker jack 86 I bid a hundred dollars and that's my final offer 110. I bid 110 dollars going going Oh, come come. I'll have to sell it to mr. Davis unless I get a higher bid going going 115 You can't do that mrs. Davis. You're bidding against yourself. Oh, what's the difference? I'm just a shill I demand that we revert back to my last bid of 100 dollars sold to mr. Conklin Fine Now let's see. What else have we here? Oh, there's quite a bit of stuff. Thanks to mr. Jessup's generosity Why we practically cleaned out that house of his at 616 Anderson Avenue Well, jessup has the true american spirit the spirit of benevolence and charity So prevalent and throughout this glorious nation From the rockbound coast of maine To the sunny shores of 616 I know you're patriotic, but I've never seen your face turn red white and blue before Miss Brooks How did you get into that house? Oh, it was easy stretch snot grass and I just kicked in a few windows Did you now Well, I would like to pardon me mr. Conklin. I gotta talk you right away. Miss Brooks. Oh, couldn't it wait stretch? I'm rather busy at the moment But I just saw Harriet conklin and I found out we made a little mistake That wasn't mr. Jessup's house. We took the furniture out of it wasn't then whose house was it? Shall we dance It was your house Well, there's only one way to settle this gather on folks gather did for me and stretch snot grass In just a moment, but first dream beautiful luster cream Tonight yes tonight show him how much lovelier your hair can look after a luster cream shampoo Luster cream world's finest shampoo No other shampoo in the world gives you k-doomits magic blend of secret ingredients plus gentle aniline Better than a soap better than a liquid luster cream is a dainty cream shampoo Leaves hair three ways lovelier Fragrantly clean free of loose dandruff glistening with sheen Soft manageable even in hardest water luster cream lathers instantly No special rinse needed after a luster cream shampoo So gentle luster cream is wonderful even for children's hair Tonight yes tonight try luster cream shampoo dream girl dream girl beautiful luster cream girl You owe your crowning glory to A luster cream shampoo And now once again here is our miss brooks as mr. Conklin slowly turned a deeper shade of purple There was another flurry of activity in our corner of the gym 180 185 190 195 brooks. What's going on step aside harry. I'm taking your father's blood pressure Next week good into another our miss brooks show brought to you by luster cream shampoo for soft glamorous Teressable hair and cold gate dental cream to clean your breath while you clean your teeth and help stop tooth decay Our miss brooks starring eve arden is produced by larry burns directed by al lewis With the music of wilbur hatch under the direction of morris carleton Mr. Boynton is played by jeff chandler mr. Conklin by gale gordon Others in tonight's cast were jane morgan dick crana gloria mcmillan and lannard smith For a beauty bath that brings you glamour from head to toe Get bath size palm olive soap. Yes ladies for a velvet smooth beauty lather That caresses your skin leaves your whole body glowing with a warm blush of fragrant loveliness Enjoy a beauty bath with bath size palm olive. It's perfect for your tub or shower Just the gentlest massage over your body creates a glorious lather that leaves your skin delightful Yes for the most luxurious bath you've ever had get big bath size palm olive soap For mystery liberally sprinkled with laughs listen to mr. And mrs. North the exciting fun packed adventures of an amateur detective And his beautiful wife tune in tuesday evening over most of these same stations And be with us again next week at this same time for another comedy episode of our miss brooks bobleman speaking