 Hello everyone, welcome to another NARC Survivor Live video, in this one a new topic, one of that I haven't really spoken about before, about when the narcissist finally surrenders, because for a certain amount of time it's like the row is competing with you, it's like this constant competition, the row is trying to surpass or outdo you in success and achievements and it's like you might have a good job, you're in a certain amount of money and they're trying to outdo you in that, even though they may not even have a job, maybe they had one before and they will exaggerate their income, they will make it seem like it's so much more than what it actually is, they will like big themselves up, make themselves seem important, or it could be something else, maybe you just got a new home and then they'll always find someone to compare it to, whether it's one of their friends, a family member or they may just find some random person on the internet, it could even be a celebrity and they will compare your new home to theirs, no matter what you do they'll always move the goalposts and they'll always find some way to compete with you, but if you manage to demonstrate a certain level of power and strength to the point where it's practically incomparable and they can't really triangle you with any one of that point because you're still grounded in a reality, if you manage to demonstrate that level of power and strength that is when they will finally surrender, and when I say surrender I don't mean they're going to get down on their hands and knees and kiss your feet and I'm sure most of you who are watching this you don't want to see that anyway, but in fact what it does mean is that they are no longer going to behave amicably, they're no longer going to be peaceful or contentful around you and in fact from that point on they're going to go from seeing you as their competition to seeing you as their enemy, as someone who they must kill and destroy, someone who they must bring down because you're showing them up, you're making them look bad, you're making them look like absolute fools, idiots, because there's no possible way that they can even compare to you, there's no possible way that they can even be on your level and not only that but at that point when you demonstrate such a level of power and strength, success and achievements they haven't even got a founding member or friend that they can even compare to you, to minimize you and to make you look small, especially if you achieve such a standard where it's like after all the trials and tribulations, all of the suffering, even a celebrity at that point they could even compare you to them and this is the point where they will then finally surrender, they're going to give up on doing things the right way, being respectful, I mean the way that they so arrogantly compete with you, it's hardly respectful anyway but they're going to give up on that as well and instead they will just go all out on a mission to destroy you after that because you have really bruised their ego, you've deflated that exaggerated sense of self-importance so now they can no longer feel important around you and not only that but wherever they go, whoever they're around, they're constantly remembering you and how you showed them up, you made them look bad, you made them feel like they're not as good as they want to be seen as, which does cause a huge narcissistic injury and you're going to know when you have caused a narcissistic injury because they will let you know that they will not be able to hold it in, even if at the very least they are passive aggressive or in some cases it may be overt but when you reach a certain level and your success, your healing or development, you achieve a certain standard, that's when they get the message and they understand, alright we can't behave amicably around you anymore, we can't compete with you in that arena and being good, righteous, a valuable member of society, whatever it may be, we can't compete with you doing that and it's like, alright there's only one other option, we've got to go down, we've got to become corrupt, we've got to start doing the wrong things because that is the only way that we're ever going to win and just believe it or not but in their minds and their delusional minds they actually see that as winning, in their minds they actually believe that they have won by doing that, while to you or I we would see that as failure, loss, just make some losers, leeches, parasites, bottom fetus, gum of the earth, pieces of shit because you can quite clearly see what they're doing, it's plain, it's evident, it's apparent, it's like, so I was going up to a certain level of achievement and standard and while all the while before that, while you were keeping me down, you were competing with me and you saw it as a competition but then it's like when you demonstrate a certain level of power and strength, success and achievements, healing and development then it's like there's no way I'm going to be able to climb up there and then they look at it like the only thing they can do is bring you back down because they surrender, they accept the feat, they realize they can't match you, they can't do what you do so they have no other option than to go against you and to basically cheat, they have to break the rules, the very rules that they may have set themselves at one point but now they have to go against that, they have to cheat, they have to lie, they have to steal, they have to do whatever they possibly can and at that point it's like there are no rules, there may still be rules for you but there are no rules for them, now they're going to play dirty, they're not going to play fair anymore because they realize by playing fair, by playing by the rules there's no possible way that they can ever win so they have to find a way to limit, contain and restrict you to prevent you from being free and spreading your wings and flying away because they know by giving you the free range, the room to do that because remember the entire world has an extension of them so they see it as though I'm giving you this freedom, I'm giving you this room for you to move and for you to be yourself and for you to do what you want to do so then they see it as though now we have to restrict this, we have to contain it because the more room that you have to be free and for you to move the more you're making them look bad the more you're making them feel bad about themselves because it's like on an even playing field, well everything is fair and equal, it's stable, there's an equilibrium, you're just going to show them up because you're just so much better than them, sadly a lot of you don't even realize it but you really are and I know some of you may look at your lives and you like, I'm not that successful, I'm not even that physically attractive but think a bit like this, if you didn't go through all of that abuse, all of that sabotage, all of that destruction that caused in your life, just imagine how much more successful you would be today, just imagine how much better you would look physically as well and yet they always move the goalposts and they will make it out like you're not as good as you think you are, you're not that successful, you're not that attractive, when it's like you can't please this person anyway because that's not even what they want you to be, which is why when you do succeed and you demonstrate a certain level of power and strength all they're going to do is come after you and try to destroy you because they don't want to see that anyway, they do not want you to be the best version of yourself, what a narcissist wants is for you to be the worst version of yourself and actually it's even crazier than that because this is a narcissist mentality right and it's very difficult to really put this together but this is exactly how they think, they want you to be the worst version of yourself and at the same time they want you to be the best version of yourself for them, that's exactly what they want so they want to keep you in a position where you're under their control and you're restricted, you're not free, you can barely really move or even do anything at that point, you're like a puppet on a string but then they still want you in a position where you're still able to supply them with the attention, validation, admiration, money and resources that they need, just think about that for a moment how crazy that sounds and it has to be that way for them because they look at it like well if I just give you your freedom, if I just give you the room to go off and do and be who you want to be then I'm losing control, then yes you may be a better source of supply, you may be able to supply me with more energy, money and resources but who's to say that you won't just run off and give that to someone else but just keep it all to yourself and that's why they have to keep you close and tighten that grip on the reins so that you don't get away even though yes they may recognize and understand that by doing that not only is it restricting your freedom which that's what they want anyway it's also limiting your ability to become the best version that you can be so as I said they want you to be the best, the worst version of yourself, the worst version of yourself for you and for anyone else but the best version of yourself for them yes it's crazy as that sounds thanks for the donation thank the Lord I appreciate it I appreciate all the nations any support to this community I'm very grateful for that no matter how small I appreciate all the nations it helps to invest back into this community and also as you may see I am running a cause for the children in Gaza me of which don't have any foods no shelter no safe living conditions so please if you can support this cause for the children in Gaza you may see the ads on my video sometimes as well that's actually how it is over there must be a horrible experience for them so let's do what we can and donate some money to this cause for the children in Gaza thank you but yeah this is what our sisters want they want you to be the worst version of yourself at the same time the best version of yourself for them and it's because they need that control they've got to control you they've got to restrict you to prevent you from getting away that's why if you do manage to get away you leave them and typically what happens is as soon as you do your life your success this shoots up like a rocket come more successful happier healthier and then they see it and it's like alright let's shoot them down let's take them out because they're seeing it as though you're getting away you may be becoming more set successful healthier happier all of these things but then they see it as though you're getting away so then they're looking at as though you're not going to come back to them which means that they're never going to get any of that for themselves so you see the connection that I'm making it's like what good is it for them if you do become the best version of yourself that's not going to help them at all because then you're going to have the power it doesn't mean you're just going to stay with them and supply them with whatever they need and they know that that's why they said in past videos it's like Cinderella and that's you whether you're a man or a woman you're like Cinderella just the male version maybe with the the wicked stepmother and the two-step sisters they make you think you're not as great as you actually are they keep you as the worst version of yourself because that's the only way that they can keep you and that kind of brings me on to a video that I will be working on very soon and upload into the channel which is how narcissists they actually only get the worst part of us because they have to they have to keep us down in order to contain us to keep us under their control so they never get the best part of you and I'm sure many of you already know that from your experiences with them it's like you can never be yourself you know you're not allowed to develop some of you aren't even allowed to get a job not allowed to have friends you're not allowed to go into the world and become the best version of you so narcissists all they ever get is just the crumbs they get the worst part of you because if you weren't with them you could have been so much more but then they never would have had that anyway because if you were so much more than you would have been around them they typically target us when we are vulnerable when they can find weaknesses and that's how they get in or they just target our self-esteem and they make us feel like we're not as good as we actually are and so this is as good as when in fact no it's not you are to serve a far more you deserve so much more than a toxic abusive narcissist someone who's constantly competing with you and when they realize that they can't measure up and they're never gonna be as good as you and what do they do they go from seeing you as their competition their opponent to then viewing you as their enemy and then they just want to take you down and a narcissist of the type of person who they can abuse you for years and compete with you all of that time and restrict your growth and development then even if somehow you managed to get away you managed to become successful happier healthier even then they will just come back sabotage you ruin it all and and here's a really crazy part about it and they will still blame you they will still blame you I'm sure I asked for no sugar at my tea I'm not sure if there is any but it is the lemon flavor so that could be why as you can probably tell I'm quite hyper in this one that's why I usually try to avoid having too much sugar because otherwise I'm just bouncing all over the place but I know many of you love it you love the high energy the enthusiasm very enthusiastic but yeah seriously this is how it goes this is how it is and I'm sure many of you you clicked on to this and you were hoping to see or to cure something more positive whereas like you know they surrender they give up and maybe they let you lead they let you have the power for a change because they realize it never works out for them but no that doesn't happen that doesn't happen at all and in fact when they do surrender it's pretty much that they surrender on doing things right on doing things in a moral and correct way and instead then they were to go against the green then they were to challenge you then they want to bring you down sabotage you undermine you corrupt you disable you lessen your power effectiveness and ability just do whatever it takes to make you less stronger less powerful than you actually are that's when they will break their own rules we've ingest you know these perhaps unwritten unspoken rules that we have in society but the certain lines that you do not cross certain things that you do not do even though you you could do it and they may not be against the law but yeah they will go ahead and do that as an example cheating lying I mean that's technically not against the law stealing of course that is a serious crime in every country in the entire world but yeah they will go and do that they will steal your money your possessions even things where it's like you could be in a partnership with the business with them and they will cut you out of it you never know what they might do they can be very unpredictable because what's happening when you strive to become the best version of yourself you move it on to greatness if you're becoming better stronger more powerful more successful healthier happier when they see all of their stuff it's triggering them to reflect on who they really are because the entire time they have this false identity which is derived from them exercising their influence and control over you and when you break out of that mold it's a real shock to them when it's like because the entire time they kept you down criticizing you insulting you every day making you feel small making you feel like you're nothing making you feel like you'd never be good enough for anyone or anything so you'll never find work and never get a job never make any money you'll never finish school whatever it is never achieve anything great in life that's how they want you to think because they derive a sense of their false identity from that from keeping you there keeping you stuck which is why when you finally break out of that mold and you go out and you do everything they said you couldn't you become everything they said you would never be and many of you you might actually think I thought they would have been proud of me I thought they would have congratulated me I thought they would have said well done I knew all along you could do it but no instead it's met with contempt anger frustration coercion and intimidation where they just want to push you back into that mold back into that box don't grow don't evolve don't develop stay where you are be who you've always been be who I made you to be so that they can then continue to derive their false sense of identity from you which believe it or not is actually just a projection of these native traits about themselves which they disown it and assigned to you because they don't want to see or accept that in themselves so they put that on to you and then they can reject their own self hatred on to you but then they've got a reason a justification for bullying insulting you abusing you you see how it works that's exactly how it is that's what they do that's how it works in their minds that's how they rationalize it but then from understanding that you can see it is actually they who are the ones who are deserving of contempt it's just they put that on to you well they steal your positive qualities and traits and use them to construct this false character of innocence and naivety as though they don't know what they're doing and so they're not doing anything wrong or as though they're just trying to help they're just trying to be better and they're so loving kind and empathetic but in fact that is you it's just they dump their negative traits on to you and they stole everything good about you which they then use to construct this false image for themselves and this is why so many victims they come to these communities thinking that they're the narcissist thinking that something is wrong with them thinking about their toxic and yeah it's like if you look back at everything you did for them all of the times that you try to make them happy just make a list of everything that you did and then realize how it was never good enough are they make another list of what they did for you what did they ever do for you other than take everything that you've got and give you nothing but abuse lies I'm an ablation in return and that is how you know that all along it wasn't you it was them as I've said before the victim is the one who comes into the relationship of a lot and leaves with a little or nothing the narcissist is the one who comes into the relationship with very little or nothing and leaves with everything as you can see that clear difference from the beginning to the end of the relationship you can see who is benefiting and gaining the most and who lost at all you can quite clearly see that and yet many times they managed to gas like this and to make it as think that it's us about we could have done more we could have been we could have done better when in fact if you look back and you make those two lists you will realize that no in fact it was them and that's why typically at the end of the relationship what did they do you try to move on you try to heal and become better and as soon as you do that they can immediately sense it it's like they have this predatory six cents they know when you're healing they know when you're moving on they can see when you're doing better because then they know that your energy is slipping away from them and it's no longer validating this false sense of identity was they derive from you and that's when they will come back they will whover you just to try to bring you down again just as arbitraled your life on average a narcissist will whover their victim seven times before it's finally all over yes that's how many times they can come back because it's like they need you they derive a sense of their false identity from you without that they've just got to avoid you're unknowingly sustaining them while they're making you believe all the while they can nothing that you're not good enough but you're no good and yet they're taking all of these things from you and you don't even know it your attention your validation praise compliments money energy resources a place to stay they're taking all of this stuff from you but many of you you keep looking at yourself thinking that you need to do more thinking that you need to be better but in fact what you should have done what we all should have done right in the beginning when we could see that there was no reciprocation and we're just giving and giving out getting nothing back return other than lies of future faking manipulation and gaslighting in that moment we should have recognized all right forget it I'm out just take what we got take it somewhere else to someone to at least start a similar level of value and can give that exchange can reciprocate back to us instead of us just getting drained to the point when we then have nothing left so in some ways we do need to take accountability for that that's not to say that they're our faults and that they're not the wicked evil people that they are it's just to say that if we had known then we could have got out but then of course it's like in some situations how do you know because you're being manipulated it being gaslighted so it's not always possible for you to know but there it is when they finally surrender and it's not always but pretty much it's never as you may want it to be where you're thinking are they're gonna come back I mean pretty much what you want in when you think about it you may not think about it this way but it's like all we are really wanting is for them to see themselves rather than how they have to see an idealized image of themselves based on this concoction of qualities they like about us and other people before us but it's a combined to create this idealized character who can't do anything wrong and it's like we just have to submit to them and give them everything that we've got so all we really wanted is just for them to see themselves but it's like if you hold that mirror up to them what happens it causes an injury they get mad are there at the same time it's a goal we want it's not just for them to see themselves but if they could also see us as we actually are instead of us just having to surrender our entire life so we're someone who can't even see or appreciate it so I guess that's really what we're wanting it's like to surrender the ego and just accept who they are based on everything they've done both good and bad which of course as we know that's something that they're never gonna do they're never gonna accept all of the wrong that they've committed they're gonna carry on with the delusion the lies they're gonna keep that going forward for as long as they can usually until the end of their lives and that's why the way I'm describing this when I say they finally surrender they just become even more narcissistic they become malignant even psychopathic because it's like all right if this is I'm working if I can't be as I am compete with you fairly and I'll do you in the way that I want to then I'm gonna have to cheat I'm gonna have to lie I'm gonna have to steal I'm gonna have to harm you destroy you and that's why that's exactly what they do that's why they then turn against you and it's like one minute you were their opponent and what was meant to be a fair competition and then suddenly now they're breaking the rules I know you're their enemy now they can't stand you now they want to destroy you because they're driving a sense of identity from you and they stolen your qualities your positive attributes and it's like you can't both be you so for them to be you they have to destroy you because otherwise they're not gonna feel like they are you if you're still you and yet many of us we wonder it's like why can't we both be great why can't we both be something important successful whatever it is that it's so important to them but it's like no you can't you may want that of course yes they know they can see that's what you want that you want things to be equal normal and fair based on your own qualities and abilities and that should determine and define who we are and our success in life but they can't have it that way because it's like if you can be you then how can they be you as well they can't be two of you like they've seen you they laid eyes on you and it's like I sort drew them to you they weren't really attracted to you as a person to where they were desiring to connect to you it's more I like what you got but I'm looking at you in your life and it's like I like these qualities I like your abilities I like your success your money your achievements your house your cars and then it's like they want it they want to be you they want that for themselves and then it's just all about concocted a plan of how they're gonna get that out of you how they're gonna become you and if they succeeded in doing that it's like a that point all you can do is try to create a new version of you version 2.0 let them have the old version they can have the outdated one you got a new one now start again but then by doing that they may then try to pull you back into your old ways they may try to tempt you back into how you were before because it's like what good is there what was the point in me being you when it's like you didn't even want to be this version of you anymore and in fact now you've moved on and you think you got this new better version but I got the souls out of date one so then it's like how do I get you back over here to how you were before I bet I can feel like I've got something that you want something that you desire this whole version of you but if they can't do that and just really your mind is made up and you're moving forward you're going on to version 2.0 of yourself then like the chameleons the shapeshifters the girl they will then mold themselves into that new version and destroy that as well and it will just keep going on and on you have version 3 version 4 version 5 other just keep stealing all of them and destroying them all because it's just something about you I don't know what to say exactly what it is because I'm just thinking about this on the spot right now there's something inside of you because of the outside on the surface it's like even when they get that they steal that identity from you but then you can go and create a new version and then they want that as well and they want to destroy that in you something inside of you it's your soul anything you create everything you touch just turns the gold and they see that they know that it's like I guess what it is it goes back to our childhood where it's like which is functional healthy people that's really what it is we make things happen but destined to be successful in whatever we do well as for them the toxic that is functional all they do is cause chaos and problems they destroy everything they get into they may have destroyed many of you so maybe that's what it is underneath it all at the core of us is that you're built to last you're built to survive you're destined for success long term you're destined to heal grow and develop well as for them whatever they do just falls apart and maybe that's why they have to steal it from us I mean it is that is why they have to because you've got to think if they're really so functional and they can do things themselves I'm sure they would just go off and do it on their own they will need you but they can't they can't create a sense of identity on their own they can't create anything everything they do everything they get involved in they damage it they destroy it they behave corruptly they cheat they lie they steal so of course they're gonna get that from you they're gonna stolen your identity and I say all right you can have that I'm gonna start again version 2.0 here we go they'll be back they'll steal it from you again they'll destroy you no identity they'll take it for themselves because it's just the fact that you can generate this from within you're so imaginative so creative hard working you just got the qualities the capabilities to make stuff happen I mean that's really what it is you've got inner power that inner strength to manifest to bring things into reality to discipline so you just set out yourself motivated you're like all right I'm gonna do this I don't need anyone's help I'm gonna work on this I'm gonna get this done as for them they can't get anything done they can't make anything happen do you see anything of value any success in their lives other than things where it's like they manipulated people it's a given it to them they cheated they stole it they just can't make stuff happen like you can so no matter how much you recreate yourself and you grow and develop they're gonna keep coming back and desiring to be the new you they'll be done with the old you're not even gonna see that anymore then all of the things that they stole from you you won't see that stuff anymore because it's like all right you don't want this you don't desire this anymore that's the old version of you you don't want it back so then they're gonna start stealing bits and pieces of the new you and making that into a part of any identity and destroying it in you as well because you can't both be you this is why what you need to do you need we have to keep continuing to evolve never stop never do what they do where it's like they steal these bits and pieces of us so there are the power sources of supply and I say all right I'm finished I'm complete I'm perfect now I'm everything I need to be I didn't need to grow we can't ever do that we must keep growing we must keep evolving and they may keep stealing and destroying these past versions of us but our mindset is always gonna be alright doesn't matter I'm working on the next version of myself and once that's complete I'm gonna be working on the next version of that as well and I'm just gonna keep going I'm gonna keep striving forward and I'm never gonna give up that's the mindset that you need to have just move my back at the Sun because I got my water my bag I don't want it to get hot but yeah that's the mindset you need to have because whatever you've got whatever whoever you are whatever version of yourself you are it's like they're always gonna want it they're always gonna envy you to the point where they're gonna set out to steal that from you and to destroy it in you they're always gonna be that way I mean that's the whole point they have a disorder so that's never gonna stop gonna be that way until the day they die and underneath that mask underneath that force identity they're gonna remain the exact same way for the rest of their lives the only thing that changes is the mask and they may have many different masks that they wear for different people different situations different parts of their lives they chuck on a new mask maybe the last one got exposed or maybe the person they stole it from they got bored of it they got bored of that identity for themselves so they no longer use that anymore because remember in our success they want to be envied they want to feel like yeah I got this identity this is yours this is what you want but now I'm you they want to leave people feeling that way so that mind yeah they're gonna keep coming back to you stealing from you as you're healing you're growing new parts of your identity and of course that's backed up by the statistics as well because on average research shows that narcissists do return to their victims seven times before it's finally all over and you've got to think seven times on average in some situations it could be far more could be far more and that's really what they're doing when they keep coming back is they're just stealing bits and pieces of you they immediately sense when you're moving on with your healing when you're growing I've asked when they want to come back because you're recharged now you got more things going on in your life it's like you're taking care of yourself better maybe you just started going to the gym you've got some new hobbies and interests maybe you're going to church you got all of these new things that are strengthening this new version of your identity so that's what they come in back for so they can steal that into a part of themselves they come early and shape-shifters underneath the mask they remain the same for the rest of their lives that never changes or grows but the mask it does change the mask is always being recreated and so is evolving based on the different people that they come across who they deem to be like the bull desirable attractive and their qualities or abilities their appearance their identity so they constantly taking these bits and pieces of people this concoction which they're adding to this mask and at the same time I didn't need to be aware of this too it's not when they're coming back to you if you accept them the Hoover they may have gone off into other people and they've revealed certain parts of themselves they've taken on parts of that new source and then they're coming back and they're sharing that with you and not only that but of course they're always the sowing part of themselves but they don't like and assigning them to you so you may also find that your identity begins to change a little bit just by you being around them because this is what it's like when you're around someone with no sense of self with an unstable core is that when you're around them it's just they're constantly just the sowing in these negative parts of themselves and put them on to you because exactly what they want for you to do is to agree with that own it accept it as a part of yourself that's what narcissists want they want you to accept negative parts of them as parts of yourself and that's another thing as well when they see you growing your healing you're moving on you don't go fitting into that mold you no longer owning these negative parts of them so they want to come back and give you more of those negative parts again to put you back into that mold so they can feel like that's not who they are and they can keep blaming you but not only that because if you're healing you're moving on you're doing other things you've got that version 2.0 you've got that version 2.0 now you're striving forward you're creating new parts of your identity so of course now they want to come back and take that from you they want to make that a new part of their identity and destroy that in you and that's how and why they're gonna keep coming back so that's really the process that's really what's going on well they do keep coming back to you and what they typically do as well as they move back and forth between the love bombing and the devaluation so it's like one minute they've surrendered the breaking the rules they're doing anything they can to sabotage destroyed you and then they'll just return to the love bombing the manipulation and I say no I want to be a good person now now I'm gonna do things right I'm gonna do thing righteously and it's like they just expect you to forget what they just did a day or week before so that's nothing to do with them that's not a part of their identity that's literally how it is they could just go from one moment to the next and just to zone all of their dysfunctional actions behaviors so that's nothing to do with them and they'll just blame you for that or they'll deny it this is why you can't trust them this is why they're so unpredictable you never know what they're gonna do next because they never went up to anything they've got no core sense of self no identity they don't even know who they are and many of you don't even know who they are because you may have accepted it you may have agreed to it but their actions of behaviors do not align with who they actually are it's really bad and by them doing that that's how you know they've got no intention of healing or growing and that's how you can leave you can move on with your life if they can manage to leave you alone and I'll pull you back in and then you can check back in with them after 10 years 20 years over longer maybe guarantees but they're narcissistic they're gonna be the exact same way they may have made some changes some adjustments to their mask the manipulation may be more effective now underneath that mask guaranteed it's the exact same person they never grow they never change they stay the exact same way and they're gonna keep doing the exact same things until the day they die they've just got no drive no motivation to want to do better to want to be better to want to grow to want to become the best version of themselves they gave up on that a long time ago and it's just like no let me just steal bits and pieces of you to create my false identity that's literally how it is for them because they can't generate anything from within or they have no authentic likes or interests of their own it's never anything where it's like oh yeah I like this despite of me there's something that I'm into it's not it's never that way with them it's just whatever's trending whatever's popular whatever's gonna get them the most attention admiration they're completely unauthentic they'll go wherever the crowd is whatever's gonna get on that supply and that's just how it is that's how it's always gonna be with them and that's why when you demonstrate your power your strength your success achievements progression healing and development they're gonna cave in they're gonna submit they're gonna surrender they're gonna bow down to you metaphorically by throwing in the towel and trying to sabotage you bringing you down because in that moment they accept forget about their true self that died a long time ago they accept that their false self this concoction of so many different people from their past even celebrities or whoever else it may be they accept that this this even call it this mess this mixture of different people different people's qualities and traits they accept that even that isn't good enough to compete with you and of course it wouldn't be because it's not authentic it's not generated from within so then it's like a right let me cheat let me lie let me deceive let me steal from you because this I'm seeing this as being more viable as being superior to me right now so let me steal from this and add this to me maybe then I can be better maybe then I can be complete that's their mentality and so there's no incentive there's no motivation for them to ever be their authentic selves and of course they want to be at this point because it's like it's already too late for a lot of them they missed out on so much time of development of growth all of this time they've been manipulating deceiving people wearing a mask so it's like even if they could even if they could just rip off that mask that would be no match for you that would be no match for anyone and it's like how many years would they have to spend working on that for it to be finally good enough that I'll give it to them to be fair I mean when you've abandoned yourself in childhood and you create a false character and all of your life you've been putting on an act manipulating people I didn't even know myself if I would have the strength if I did that my entire life and then in my 20s my 30s my again as an adult I can't even grasp the amount of work that would take and so it's no surprise why very few of them if any ever actually embark on that journey because that is a tremendous amount of work I mean just to put it into perspective it's like as an example let's say you're 40 years old a 40 year old narcissist your entire life since you were a child you had no identity all you ever did was manipulating to see people you were a mask so that means you have what potentially if your 40 for your old narcissist 35 years of growth and development to catch up on just to then be able to compete in society to actually be anything of significance and value that's a tremendous task for anyone especially someone who when we consider the amount of trauma abuse and neglect they must have gone through in their childhood to then abandon themselves so in that sense we can kind of have some compassion for them but then at the same time it has been scientifically proven that children do know exactly what they're doing even as young as two or three years old they're fully aware the conscious of their actions and the effect that it has on other people children at the age of two or three they kind of already learned empathy so is that any excuse because I know for myself and many of you we didn't do that we chose to go on the right path even though at times we may be being abused neglected we may not feel good enough and it just shows we know exactly what we're doing even at that age even when we're children so they still made that conscious choice and as I've said before it does seem that God does test us even at that age because you've got to look at it like this this all began in their childhoods but look at it now where they are now in their lives and just I honestly can't imagine the amount of work it would take for them to go back and start again and catch up on all of those years of their life that they missed out on where they didn't progress where they didn't construct a true identity and sense of self that would take a tremendous amount of work I don't say they can't be done maybe with intensive therapy if they do possible maybe with God's help but this is what happens when they surrender when they accept the feet when they accept that you are better greater superior to them they can't compete with you they can't match you if they can't climb up if they can't meet you there they just find a way to take you down to bring you back down to their level and then manipulate you into seeing yourself as being beneath them because I have to be manipulation there's no other way even if they take everything from you you're not really gonna believe that you're beneath them they've got to trick your mind into thinking that it can only ever be manipulation never reality so that's what they're gonna do when they see that you're better your greater your superior to them it's just all about how we bring this person down because we're not gonna climb up there whether when I ever gonna be on that level so it's like the only thing they can do it's getting really hard to you where I am I think today it's 35 degrees Celsius and it's meant to increase from 42 degrees up to 51 in some areas I don't think it's gonna get that hot here but I could definitely get into the 40s that's why I'm in the shade the hottest temperature I've ever experienced is around 36 degrees it's about two or three years ago I remember that was a really hot summer I think that was doing the COVID when I came back from Sri Lanka those of you may remember when I rented that that black Mercedes AMG E400 I was doing some videos in there drove back from London in it and it was just really hot like sunny every day good times good memories to share with my amazing YouTube family who have supported me all of this way couldn't have done it without you without your support anyway that's it for this message today hope you've enjoyed it but resonated with you and if it did you can give it a thumbs up and let me know what you think in the comment section let me know your experiences I reach comment every day subscribe and click on the notifications so that you will be notified when I upload a new video and if you would like to donate you can leave a super chat in the live chat super thanks down in the comment section below or you can go to my PayPal it is paypal.me slash Nark Survivor and if you would like to book a one-on-one coaching session with me just go to my website it is narkvivor.co.uk and I do have my Instagram as well where I upload new pictures and videos my travels every day on there to my stories check out my Instagram follow me on there it is Nark Survivor YouTube I just have to thank you all for joining me on another Nark Survivor live video again I appreciate all of you thank you all for your support and I look forward to speaking with you in another live video