 I was really in love with my ex and we had great sex but now she's married to someone else and I am also engaged to some other girl but she's not as pretty as my ex, she's a little bit dark and her figure is not that good either and the problem is I am not that much interested in her in bed. We tried a couple of times but my penis is not giving me the same response that I used to get with my ex-girlfriend. I am worried, can you please suggest some tips for a better relationship? Now before everyone starts jumping up and down I want to say that this is a really valid question because a lot of people feel like this but no one wants to talk about it because you get judged for it and it is this silence that ruins life. So I am really happy that someone had the courage to ask this question because now we can discuss it openly. So let me start by saying that yes it's always possible to change the way that the brain thinks, you just have to learn how to give it the right instructions and here are three really simple tips for you to be able to change your sexual chemistry with your new partner. Number one, pick something that you do like about the person. It could be anything, something physical, it could be how they kiss, it could also just be the sound that they make when they are excited. Pick anything that you want and then focus on that the next time that you are having sex. Number two and this is very important, consciously block the comparison. Just like you wouldn't tell someone that your ex was more beautiful than them in the same way, don't allow your brain to say it to you. So the moment that thought comes into your head, I want you to consciously block it. And finally number three, the most important one of all, introduce some fantasies or role play into the sex, get into character, get costumes, really get kinky because this distracts your attention from what you think you don't like and it helps you to focus on a whole new kind of excitement and pleasure instead. It really helps.