 Narcissists do this to control you. The narcissist charms you to lower you win, but then they create a false narrative. They create a story that isn't real, but they characterize it by creating a false story behind the situation in order to make it factual because what they hate about you isn't as bad as they made it out to be. So they create this false narrative, this story about reality which doesn't correlate with reality and then they highly defend it, they protect and preserve it, not because they believe it but because they want to keep it going. It benefits them so they want it to continue because it's very important to them and it's a part of the abuse. It's a part of them as treatment of you, it's intended to harm you, so they create this set of beliefs about you that they are not accountable for, although it may create the illusion that they are responsible because they want you to believe certain things about them even though it may not be clearly visible or understood. And they use these things to justify their treatment of you, to justify the abuse, it protects them and it allows them to blame you for your own abuse, it allows them to further traumatize you as the victim without them having to take any accountability for their actions because it's already set up in your mind to where you don't even have to question why they're doing what they're doing, you already assume that they're not the problem, they're not narcissistic or abusive, it's not their fault they're only in this situation because of someone else, so there's nothing they can do about it, you have to resolve it or someone else has to take care of it, they are showing a deliberate and obstinate desire to behave in a way that is unreasonable and unacceptable, they're behaving in a way that is contrary to the accepted or expected standard or practice, they're illogical and irrational, they're contradictory and wrong, but it's widely and constantly encountered, they're all knowing and all seeing as though they're God, they're the judge, jury and the executioner, so they have no intention of leaving you alone, even though they're fully aware that you have no intention of harming anyone and that your intentions are good, they will continue to pressure and provoke you and the reason why they're doing this is because of something that originated in their childhood, but it's something that developed when they became an adult, they're emotionally immature, they have an inability to express or cope with emotions that should be serious in nature which is why they tend to overreact to situations, it's why they have trouble controlling their emotions, it's why they're irresponsible, selfish, naive, thoughtless, irrational and short-sighted, because they're not really adults, they may look like they are, but they haven't aged as an adult psychologically, they've retained their childish narcissistic qualities but they don't want to be seen as narcissists and that is the whole point of the false narrative because it allows them to emulate being an adult, it conveys to you without them having to talk about it why they're such a great person and why you should decide to be with them because it will benefit you and it enables them, it allows the abuse to continue because it creates an illusion of progress, it creates an illusion of development, towards an improved or more advanced condition, when the reality is that narcissists are maladaptive, they can't change or improve, they can't adapt, they will always remain the same until the day they die but it creates the illusion that there is something great just around the corner when the truth is that it is indefinite, it's never going to end, all you're ever going to get from them is an illusion as though something good is going to happen but it will never manifest into reality, it will never come into fruition because they don't even have the means to make it happen which is why they need the false narrative and it's why they need you to support it to make it seem real, it may not have always been a deliberate and intentional act but that is irrelevant because it has now become a part of a plan of a coordinated and systematic attempt and it's hardwired into their minds so there is no way that you are going to separate them from it because it's a part of their character, it's a part of who they are as a person and you may initially see it as they just believe in a lie but it's actually much deeper than that because this is an impulsive and instinctive part of the narcissist it's activated without deliberation, without careful consideration or discussion although at times it may appear as though it is something separate from them or as though they're entertaining a separate reality but it's not, it's who they are even though it may also be something that they use to manipulate you and to make you feel certain emotions it is meant to enable them to allow them to do whatever they want while also stripping you of your power and leaving you in a position where you were unable to take action to reduce or prevent it, there is a way for you to fight it but you're only going to be able to do that in your own mind because it's a done deal for them, there are lost cause you can't change them and you will know this if you pay close attention to them because you will see that there's nothing they really value or believe in, there's nothing they feel strongly about based on their feelings or instinct, it's flexible, they can easily modify it to respond to altered circumstances or new conditions so that they can express their irresistible urge to behave in a certain way so that they can hurt you and for that reason they can't maintain any condition or position, they can't maintain any core values, principles or beliefs because if they were to do that it would stop them, it would prevent them from harming you when they need to be able to flip it whenever they choose to which is why they're not loyal, they have no support or allegiance to a person or institution because they don't have a core belief system, they don't have any deeply held assumptions about themselves the world or other people, they're not firmly embedded in their thoughts which are meant to significantly shape our reality and behaviors, our core beliefs are meant to be the most important part of us but it's something that narcissists don't have because in fact they don't care about anything so they can't do that because it wouldn't allow them to maintain this reality, the reality that is maintained by their false narrative, the reality that makes them think that they're real, the reality that makes them feel better about themselves, it makes them feel comfortable because in this reality they're flawless, they have no imperfections or defects, they're perfect and they've also been groomed to think this way, they've been trained whether it's by their parents or someone else, they've been socially conditioned because there's always an origin to it and that's what they don't want you to know about because if you find the origin you will find the truth and the truth will set you three, it will tear their world to pieces because it will change your view of their world, you will realize it's not real although at times it may look real but it actually has no basis in reality, the narcissists will dangle a carrot on a stick, they will lead you to believe that they have something better for you in the future and you just need to put in more effort, you need to work hard but it's just future faking, it's intended to make you lose determination and confidence to make you lose enthusiasm and hope because in time they will destroy the illusion and you will experience disappointment from the discovery that something is not as good as you believe it to be because they will cause you to believe that the beliefs you hold are false and then you will emotionally resist the narcissist which may result in conflict and you may even decide to fight them but it's really because you've just lost your faith and confidence in this fictional character and this person who actually does very cruel and evil acts because it's all just a false narrative, it's an explanation for what they're doing but then you start to realize that their story doesn't make any sense so then you stop believing in it and that's what begins the conflict where you begin to see them as your enemy because you realize that they're just trying to abuse you and that there is no other reason or explanation for it because they don't really care if you like them or not and they actually benefit from it either way as long as you're engaged with them as long as they're giving them your attention because that's the whole point, that's the purpose of why they're doing it because it tells them that they still have control over you and they love to see you angry or upset because then they can direct their own feelings towards you they can project how they feel onto you so that they can differentiate between who is bad and who is not because although they may be non-confrontational they actually enjoy a fight they enjoy the struggle to overcome eliminate and prevent what they hate is the destination the achievement of a goal or objective which is why they need to continually demonstrate that they're good and you're bad because that's the purpose of the narrative they need to have an enemy they need to have something that they're fighting against who is apparently wreaking havoc on them and they're having to tolerate it because they're exceptionally innocent and kind thank you for watching if you found this video helpful please give it a thumbs up share your thoughts in the comment section hit the subscribe button to receive the notifications if you would like to support the channel you could donate a paypal to me slash NARC survivor you could book a one-on-one with me on my website it's NARC survivor that could UK thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon