 I was fever when that happens. No way I can convince you that this is not one of the sides of me. Perhaps I won't be the only autobiography I will ever write. I don't go. I was born in Nottingham in 1957. I passed my 11 plus and went to Girls' Grammar. My first girlfriend at school. Her name was Sarah. She was 14 and I was 15 but we were both in Mrs. Watson's class. I sat in biology class staring at the picket rabbit fetus in a jar. Listening while Mr. Hertz said it was a adolescent phase that people have grown. Sarah did. In 1976 I stopped pretending I took a growl. A week later I moved to London enrolling at Drama College. My mother said her broke her heart. But it was my integrity that was important. It's not so selfish. It sells for so little. But it's all we have left in this place. It is the very last inch of us. But within that inch we are free, beyond London. In 1988 my first rep work. The world was strange and rustling and busy. And invisible crowds behind hot lights and all that breathless glam. It was exciting and then it makes easily. I saw a lot of the scene, was their life, their ambition, all they talked about. And I wanted more work and proof. I got small film roles then bigger ones. In 1986 I starred in the Salt Flats. We loved each other. She sent me roses. We had so much for food. Why are they so frightened of us? I signed the statement saying I seduced her. Theirself and herself. Those would be burned. I imagine I'll die quite soon. It's strange that my life should end in such a terrible place. Here's I had roses and I apologize to nobody. I shall die. It's small and it's fragile and it's the only thing in the world worth having. We must never lose it or sell it or give it away. We must never let them take it from us. I don't know who you are or whether you're a man or we'll never see you. I will never hug you before roses again.