 The Kraft Foods Company presents Willard Waterman as The Great Gildesleeve. The Great Gildesleeve is brought to you partially transcribed by The Kraft Foods Company. Homemade salad dressings can add so much to salads when they're made right. And with Kraft salad oil, there's no trick at all to making perfect salad dressings easily and quickly. Kraft salad oil is super fine. That means it's lighter-bodied for faster, smoother blending with the other dressing ingredients. A little later, I'll tell you about a folder of unusual French dressing recipes you can get with super fine Kraft salad oil. Another famous product from The Kraft Foods Company. Now, where The Great Gildesleeve's nephew Leroy comes home from school every afternoon, the first thing he does is head for the kitchen. Then, the merry tinkle of milk bottles and the banging of the refrigerator door indicate a growing boy is having a snack. But today, Leroy forgot his appetite and a different sound is coming from the kitchen. Gosh, Birdie, that's keen. Thanks, Leroy. You got a fine guitar here. Yeah. Now show me the rest of the chords, and I can play this song. Okay. You just watch me and I'll hit the chords for the chorus. There. You got that? I got it. Sure. You'll pick this up in a hurry, taking piano lessons like you did. Yeah. I'll be a famous singer and cowboy in no time. Oh, that's what you're going to be now, huh? Just like Dusty Doge. Boy, I should have seen him on television last night. If you're going to be like Mr. Dusty Doge, you got to practice. I'll practice like crazy. Birdie, who taught you how to play the guitar like this? Oh, nobody, Leroy. When I was a little girl, I just picked up a guitar and it started to play it. Yeah? Maybe that's why I was never any good on the piano. I couldn't pick it up. Oh, you're out of love now. I got to go show him my guitar. What have you got there? A guitar. Listen to it. Where'd you get it, my boy? I traded my hive of bees for it. You mean you found somebody silly enough to give you a guitar in exchange for that swarm of bees? Yeah. That's a very true deal, Leroy. I congratulate you. Well, I figured I could make a lot more money with this guitar than I ever could with a swarm of bees. Oh? I'm going to be a cowboy singer, like Dusty Doge on TV. Oh, yeah. Is he the Doge I heard balling on TV last night? He's one of the most popular singers there is. If you don't want to be known as a real square, don't say anything about Dusty. Oh, sorry, my boy. And I'm going to be just like him. What a life. Nothing to do all day but sing cowboy songs and strum a guitar and go home at night with your 10 gallon hat full of money. Well, I... You want to hear me sing Dusty's theme song? I got a wine in my voice just like him. After dinner, perhaps, Leroy. He comes on a screen sitting on a rail fence singing, and 99 years is a long time. Well, TV's young yet. It's probably my theme song, too. Yeah, Leroy. Wait. Listen up. 99 years is a long time. We weren't better off with the bees. My tree, how does it happen to be so quiet around here this evening? Well, count your blessings, Anki. It's the only rest we've had for two whole days and nights. Since then, Leroy's had that guitar this place sound like a dude rage. All he can talk about is Dusty Doge. Well, while he's quiet, I think I'll concentrate on my water reports. Yeah, let's see now. April Outgo, 7 million, 300 million. Uh-oh, he's warming up again. Who's that boy? He's working on a new chord. How many are there? Since I came home tonight, I've heard 23. What can a man get out of a water report? I can stand any more or less. Can you step in here a minute? Me, too. I don't want to discourage the boy. Well, I don't want to encourage him either. I realize that you and that guitar can be slightly annoying. Well, gosh, I've got to practice if I'm going to be a big star someday. Practice, practice, practice. That's what makes a big star. I read that. Well, Leroy, I hate to tell you this. But practice isn't the only thing that makes a big star. It isn't? Did you ever hear of talent, my boy? You have to have a voice to begin with. Gosh, I've got a voice. Not for singing, I'm afraid of you. Well, gee, you said... When it came to you, I'm afraid it ran out. Leroy, you mustn't take this too hard. But it's better to find it out now than later when it might hurt you. I thought I sounded pretty good. Well, that just proves you don't have any ear for music. Yeah, I mean, everybody thinks he sounds good when he hears himself sing. I'm only trying to help you, my boy. Makes you realize that you're wasting your time. You understand that, don't you? I guess so. Where are you going, Leroy? Up to your little room? Leroy, you shouldn't toss your guitar in the corner. I don't know what he's so upset about. I was as tactful as I know how to be. Here's the water report. All right, George, it's remarkable. You can get things done if you just get to it. Doorbell, we'll be dropping in at this hour. Good evening, Geraldette. Judge, what are you doing out at this time of night? I was on my way home. When I saw your light on, decided to stop by. I was working a little late, Judge. Yeah, I see you've been doing a lot of figuring, having your usual trouble with Leroy's arithmetic. That's the city's arithmetic. It's about the only chance I've had to get anything done around here since Leroy decided to be a cowboy singer. Leroy's got it into his head that he's another dusty doge. Who is dusty doge? He's a singing cowboy on television. I see. If he was a wrestler, I'd know him. Well, anyway, Leroy was carrying this too far. He has delusions of grandeur, Judge. Imagine he could become a big singing star. So I just had to tell him he doesn't have a voice. Geraldette, nobody likes to be told he's inadequate. There's a way to get Leroy off this cowboy kick without hurting him. You think I really hurt him? Of course you hurt him. Instead of bluntly telling him he can't see, why didn't you ease him out of the idea by pointing out the hardships and sacrifices that such a career entails? Well, I wouldn't intentionally hurt Leroy for the world. Excuse me, Judge. I think I'll go upstairs and see if he's still awake. Go ahead, Gary. I'll wait. I suppose I should have handled this a little differently. There's a light under his door. Leroy? Yeah? May I come in a moment? Sure, if you want to. Thank you, my boy. Don't thank me. It's your house. Now, Leroy, it's our house. Mind if I sit in the foot of the bed? Go ahead if you're a bed. Leroy, I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings tonight. I'll live. I have no objections. You're becoming a singing cowboy. And I didn't really mean it when I said you couldn't sing. You mean you think I can? Well, what I should have pointed out is that it takes years of sacrifice and hard work before you can become a singing cowboy star. I've been working. I worked on 99 years for days. Yes, I know. But if you're going to sing about the West, you have to know the West. Live off the desert. Sleep in the cactus. It's a hard life, my boy. Did you notice how tall and skinny Dusty Doggy is? Yeah. Well, he's probably ridden for days under the broiling desert sun, without water and with nothing to eat but tumbleweeds. You see what I'm getting at Leroy? Yeah, I guess so. Have I given you something to think about? I'll say. And you're not angry with your old uncle for trying to straighten you out? Heck no, I appreciate it. Good boy. You know, I'd like nothing better than for you to be a big successful singing cowboy star. Well, I know you won't steer me wrong, Uncle. I know I can't get that thing Dusty has in his voice without living with cows. Well, I'll turn off your little light now so you can go to sleep. Leave it on, Uncle. I want to get my geography book. You know, can you study a little? Heck no, I want to look at a math. I'm going to hitchhike west. The Great Gilded Sleeve will be back in just a moment. I'd like to tell you about a wonderful way you can add variety to your salads. That's to make your own French dressings with craft salad oil. It's simple to vary the dressing flavors to suit the salad. And by taking just a minute or two to mix a homemade dressing, you can add new taste appeal to the most ordinary salad. Just to show you how easy it is, craft is attaching a recipe folder of six wonderful French dressings to every bottle of craft salad oil. Recipes for dressings like cranberry French to add delicious tartness and color to cottage cheese. Then there's a honey celery seed dressing, a luscious topping for grapefruit wedges. And there's a chili relish French dressing to give rich spicy flavor to tomato and egg slices. The secret behind all six of these delicious dressings is craft salad oil. It's a special kind of oil. Craft salad oil is super fine to give it lighter body. So it blends better with the other ingredients in every salad dressing recipe. Why not put craft salad oil at the top of your shopping list and be sure to get your free recipe folder. New and delicious French dressings are the easiest way to give variety to your salads. Remember, tomorrow get super fine craft salad oil. In an attempt to discourage Leroy from becoming a singing cowboy star, the great gilded sleeve painted a picture of the hardships involved. Of course, he forgot there's nothing a young boy would rather do than enjoy the hardships of a cowboy. Oh, boy, think of it, Marge. Riding the range all day, singing and playing my trusty guitar. And then when I'm ready, I'll come back and be a big TV star. Well, how do you know when you're ready, Leroy? Well, when I've gone hungry in the desert and suffered a lot of hardships like I'm told me to. Leroy, I didn't exactly tell you to. Well, you put it another way. You said I didn't have a voice just because you didn't want me to go through the hardships. You're too nice to me, Uncle. Oh, my goodness. I don't want to take it a few hard enough because when my voice is sad enough, I'll come back and be dynamite on TV. Leroy, your voice is pretty sad already. I'll make it sadder. You know that guy they rave about who cries when he sings? I'll be the client singing Cowboy. Get over there. I'll call myself Lonesome Leroy, the crying... You got me crying now. Now get ready for school. Yes, Leroy. If you don't stop talking, you'll be late. What does a singing Cowboy want with an education? Yes, you're much better, Lonesome Leroy. Thanks, Birdie. Back from out west. Well, when are you leaving? What do you mean? You're not telling. Well, I know you and Marge and Birdie like me, and I guess it'll be tough for you to see me go. So over these days, I just won't be here. Leroy. Well, Lones, that's the neat way to do it. Now Uncle Arthur will leave the whole family blubbering. Leroy, where do you get such ideas? Well, gosh, you've seen Western pictures. Did you ever see a Cowboy say goodbye? Leroy's right. They sure don't. Nah, they just ride off into the sunset. Leroy, you get on your horse and ride to school. Okay, don't forget your lunch, babe. Leroy. What do you think, Auntie? Well, I've never seen a boy with such a vivid imagination. Well, I guess all little boys daydream. Yes, but you seem to forget that Leroy isn't a little boy anymore. You feel pretty silly if you came home some night and found him gone. No, Marge, you're daydreaming. Leroy has too much gilded-sleeve horse sense to leave a good home. Miss Gilles, please. Yes, Birdie? I thought this was my grocery list, but it turns out to be a list you ought to see. Oh, then let me have a look at that. What is it, Auntie? It says, list of things I'll need to hitchhike west. Smell you staying around the water department when I'm worried about Leroy. Now I'll drop my PDs for some razor blades and then head for home. You don't want to be there when Leroy gets home from school. I'll just have to put my foot down with that boy. Hello, old PD. Yeah, hello, Mr. Gilles Leroy. I'll be with you in just a minute. I'm in a bit of a hurry, PD. Yeah, I'll be with you in just a minute. Put that book down. I have to get home and I need some razor blades. Yeah, it says I'll be with you in just a minute. TV, what are you reading? An article on salesmanship. Oh. Poor heaven's sake. It tells you how to push sales in the primacy. If you don't wait on me, you're going to push me right over to your competitor. Yeah, very well. What is it you want? Razor blades. Very well. If you shave, you must use shaving cream. How are you fixed on shaving cream? I have shaving cream. How about the shaving brush? I use brushless shaving lotion. PD, I have all those things. You ever thinking of throwing them all away and buying an electric razor? I'm over-stocked, I know. John found it, PD. Will you please give me my razor blades? Mr. Gilles, maybe you're a little testy today. Oh, I'm sorry, PD. I'm just in a hurry to get home. I have a little problem with Leroy. You don't think? Leroy's planning to run away from home and become a singing cowboy. All right, all right. I tried to discourage him, but that didn't do any good. So now I'm going to put my foot down. I'll forbid him to go. I'll watch every move he makes. Yeah, that should game out West in a hurry. What's this, PD? I remember when I was a boy and wanted to run away and join the circus. Oh, now you've done it. My father hadn't insisted on my going. Your father wanted you to leave home? Not really, but he was smart enough to know that if he told me not to go, I'd be sure to go. Of course, you may not be as smart as my father. Oh, I don't know. How did your father handle this? Well, he said, go ahead and run away. He said, they wouldn't miss me. You know, that kind of made me sore. Yeah, I see what you mean. Then he took me down to the circus grounds and introduced me to everyone, including the baboon. He did? Mr. Youngersley, did you ever shake hands with a baboon? No, of course not. I did, and that's when I decided not to join the circus. Goodbye, George, PB. I'm going home and helping Leroy pack. I'll encourage him to go West. That's the idea. If Leroy asks how I ever talked him out of becoming a singing cowboy, I'll tell him a baboon deserves the credit. No, I wouldn't say that. I want you to cooperate with me. No matter how much it hurts, all three of us must insist on Leroy carrying out his plan. But, Anki... The sure way to make him stay home is to make him think what you want him to leave. Yes, sir. Any questions? No, I guess not, Anki. I hope it works. We're going to leave, I'll leave. Well, Birdie, it'll make Leroy stop and think. Yes, sir. Here he is, home from school. Hi, everybody! Well, Leroy, we were just wondering if you'd left for the West, or if you were going to stop by home first. Yeah? Of course we aren't trying to find out when you're leaving, but there's anything we can do to speed you on your way. We want to do it. Don't we, Marjorie? Yes. Leroy, we think you should become a cowboy as soon as possible. You do? Yeah, that's right, isn't it, Birdie? Yes, sir. Yeah, I was looking at the paper, my boy, and the weather forecast is fair and warmer. Good weather for hitchhiking if you start right away. It is, huh? I've decided to give you all my pen money, Leroy. What for? Well, I don't want my brother to have to go to somebody's back door for a handout. Yeah, no, he was going hungry on the way out West. Wait until you get there to suffer. Leroy, you know which direction is West. Just pack up and start. Birdie, if Leroy leaves early in the morning, do you think you can have his little room tidied up by noon? Yes. What's that for? Well, we may as well rent it out to somebody, Leroy. No telling how many years you'll be gone. Whoa. We're anxious to see you on television, my boy. The sooner you leave, the better. Okay, all right. Yes, Marjorie. Leroy's really going to leave this morning. He's in his room packing. Well, Marjorie, everything's going to be all right. He's at a time like this. He's not eating breakfast. Moke up in the skill please. Thank you, Birdie. That's his eighth cup. Well, I'm nervous. But by George, we can bluff as long as Leroy can. You know, I'm not going to forbid him to go. He has to give up the idea himself. Here he comes. I guess he's packed. It's enough, Marjorie. Well, good morning, my boy. Well, Leroy, where's your bag? Well, I haven't brought it downstairs yet. Sit down, Leroy, and Birdie will bring you your breakfast. I don't think I want anything to eat. Well, your old uncle has to be getting down to the office. I'll say goodbye now. You have to go somewhere early. Well, like you say. A cowboy doesn't like long, tearful goodbyes. Yeah, that's right. So let's shake hands. Okay. Goodbye, Leroy. Goodbye, uncle. Leroy, your hand's trembling. Well, I've been practicing the guitar a lot lately. Oh, yeah, yes, of course. Well, take care of yourself, my boy, and write to us if you find time. Goodbye, Marjorie. Goodbye. Goodbye, Birdie. Goodbye. Well, that's that. Show us how much he cares. Excuse me, Leroy. I just thought of something I have to do upstairs. Well, let him leave. Let him all leave. I don't need him, do I, Birdie? That's up to you to decide, Leroy. You'll be sorry one of these days. Where do I become famous? I might even end up in Hollywood with a swimming pool. And a house ten times as big as OX. That would be nice, Leroy. Yeah. And when OX wants to come and visit me, I'll let him come. I'll be big about it. To make him feel bad, I might even have a special room for him. And I'll never run it out like he's gonna run out mine. Now, Leroy, he don't want to rent it. Where's my guitar? I'm gonna hit the road. Oh, here it is. Right here on the bus lane. Oh, what if it's in tune? It's okay. I got plenty of time to tune it. I can tune it tonight under an old railroad trestle. Don't you want to take some lunch with you? Oh, I'll get by. I'll go up to some farmhouse tonight, like sing for a handout. Well, Leroy, you don't know but one song, if you're gonna have a swimming pool and a big house, you're gonna learn another one. Well, let Birdie give you another one. Okay, but make it snappy. I gotta get out to the highway. This won't take long. It's pleasure and palistheness. Okay, that's home sweet home. It's time to come there crying, singing cowboys. I'm not going out, West Birdie. You're not? Well, I was standing out by the hedge and just happened to hear you through the open window. I'm very glad you're staying with us, boy. How long don't get mushy. Over that kind of stuff. The Great Gilded Sleeve will be right back. It's no secret that salad oil is by far the most important ingredient in any homemade French dressing. So choose the lighter-bodied oil straight from salad dressing headquarters, Kraft salad oil. It's lighter-bodied because it's made by a special superfinding process. Kraft salad oil blends quickly and smoothly with other ingredients. Use it, and you can be sure of perfect salad dressings and the finest baking. Tomorrow, get superfined Kraft salad oil. Let's face it, my boy, that sounds terrible. Wouldn't you like to trade that guitar for something? Oh, gee, that sounds good to me. Well, the trouble is you don't play it right. Here, let me have a minute. Okay. Now, when you play and sing with a guitar, my boy, you have to feel it. Me, me, me, me, me, me. Boy, I can feel that. Ninety-nine years is a long time when you ain't got the right kind of love. That's right. Make men off her. Now, Willard Waterman, the show is written by John Elliott and Andy White in his partially transcribed. Included in the cast are Walter Tately, Mary Lee Robb, Lillian Randolph, Earl Ross, and Dick LeGrand. Musical compositions by Jack Meakin. This is John Easton saying goodnight for the Kraft Foods Company, makers of the famous line of Kraft quality food products. Be sure to listen in next Wednesday and every Wednesday for the further adventures of The Great Gilder Sleeve. There are two kinds of delicious Kraft prepared mustard, mild Kraft mustard, so smooth and delicately spiced, and Kraft mustard with snappy horseradish added. And whichever you prefer, remember, when you add a little mustard, you add a lot of tang. Try it on cold sandwiches, hamburgers, frankfurters, and cold cuts. Enjoy the wonderful sauces you can make for hot meat and vegetable courses with Kraft prepared mustard. Keep both kinds on hand and keep the whole family happy. Yet mild Kraft mustard and Kraft mustard with snappy horseradish added at your favorite food store. Next, Groucho Marks presents You'll Bet Your Life on NBC.