 Well, we began our journey looking at lessons learned from the past, whatever things were written in earlier times were written for our learning that we, through the patience and comfort of the scriptures, might have hope. And so we started with the first woman in the Bible, the only one that was not birthed by a human mother, and that was Eve. And so we considered her and the lessons we learned from her, even though she had extraordinary beauty, she did not fear the Lord, and that was her problem. And we know that that is also our problem. We need to fear the Lord and obey the Lord. She was also very, very deceived. And then we saw we have three earthly curses because of her. And then we went into the submissive sister, Sarah, and we learned some great attitudes that we should have as women. We should be submissive. We should have a meek and quiet spirit. We should have a reverent behavior. We should trust in God. And we should be undisturbed and not give way to hysterical fear, even though our husband or anyone else might try to threaten us out of our Christian faith. And so this morning we're going to also continue on looking at another. Actually, it's not a sister. It's two sisters, Yodia and Cyndi Kee, or I like to call her Soon Touchy, because I don't know what in the world these women were fussing about, what they were squabbling about. In fact, I've entitled this, The Squabbling Sisters, because a squabble is really a noisy quarrel about something petty or trivial. And knowing women, even though I'm sorry I love all of you, but my husband often says, I don't know how you work with women. And because, you know, I don't work with men. But it usually is over something petty or trivial. Again, I love you girls, but through the years of ministry and being a pastor's wife and a counselor and teacher of women of the Bible, I would say some things are just petty. But most of you in this room would have to confess that at some point in your life you have had a disagreement with someone. Maybe it wasn't just a squabble. Maybe it was a serious disagreement with a friend, maybe your husband, co-worker, someone in the church. And it does happen. It happens in the church. People do not get along. I have just recently been very concerned about with all the things going on, the differences on the pandemic and the social justice movement, how it is dividing churches. And there is a lot of hateful speech going on between what is so-called Christians. And ladies, I just want to remind you that when you post things on social media in a un-Christ-like way, you're going to be held accountable for that. You're not going to stand before the Lord. He's going to excuse all your social media postings and say that that's okay. It's not. And you know, we have some examples besides Yodi and Cyndiqi, in Galatians. Remember Paul says he withstood Peter to the face, remember, because he wouldn't eat with the Gentiles. So they had a pretty strong disagreement there. They had a quarrel. Also Paul had another quarrel in Acts 15 with Barnabas over there to take John Mark or not on his journey. And the Bible says the contention was so sharp between them that they departed from each other. And that's a pretty strong disagreement they left. Of course, at the end of Paul's life, he says, bring John Mark to me, for he's profitable to me for the ministry. And so somewhere along the line, Paul and John Mark got their differences worked out. But we are coming for our purposes this morning to two ladies named Yodia and Cyndiqi. And they could not get along to the point that Paul has to tell not only Clement and some other guy, he calls a yoke fellow, but all the church, those names that are written in the Book of the Life would be all Christians in the body there at the church at Philippi to come together and help these women to get along. How embarrassing is that? How would you like for your name to be written in the holy word of God for it to be spoken at at a woman's conference in Orlando, Florida in the year 2021? I mean, I don't know. I'm looking forward to meeting these two women. I'm hoping they're in heaven. I think they are. I want to know what in the world caused their names to be written down in the all-sufficient, all-authoritative word of God. But ladies, Paul knew, and you and I should know, if we're not quick to settle things, it can rob us of our joy, but it can also rob us of disunity in the body of Christ. Christians are not exempt from arguments. Christians are not exempt from disagreements, but we have to realize we must settle them in a God-honoring way. And so we're going to read the passage, and we are going to pull some principles from these first few verses, but I'm also going to go to a few other places in the Book of Philippians and a few others, because as we go through this, I want to give you some principles on squabbling, on how to stop your squabbling, okay? So let's look at Philippians 4 verses 1 through 3, and we do have an outline there before you, and it's in the acrostic squabbling, and these principles will not be in order, so you'll have to find the appropriate letter if you are taking notes. Therefore, my beloved brother, my long for, my joy and crown, so stand fast in the Lord, my dearly beloved. I beseech Jody and Syndickey that they be of the same mind in the Lord, and I entreat the also true Yoke fellow, help those women who labored with me in the gospel, with Clement also, and also the rest of my fellow workers whose names are written in the Book of Life. Now let's begin in verse one, where Paul begins his appeal to the church, and by the way, this appeal to the church is in view of these squabbling women. So let me say this to you this morning, I know there's 44 churches represented here. If you know someone in your church who is not getting along, these are imperative for you, so he's making appeal to the entire church there at Philippi before he singles out these two women, and he says, therefore my beloved, and any time you have a therefore in scripture, it's therefore a reason, and it usually always points back to something the author has written, and in this case, Paul has already talked about a couple of things, and so he's saying, therefore, therefore in view that your citizenship is in heaven, therefore in view of the fact that the Lord is coming, in fact that your vile body is going to be changed into a glorious body, in considering all these things, my friends, and he says, stand fast in the Lord. Be stationary, don't move around, persevere. Ladies, the only way we can stand fast in these evil days is in the Lord, and so we are to stand fast, stay in your position, don't get off the narrow road, stand fast in the Lord. In fact, it's interesting, he's getting ready to tell Yodhya and Syndiki, be of the same mind in the Lord. Ladies, I want to bring this point out, in the Lord is the only way you can do anything. In the Lord is the only way you're going to get along with whatever squabbling sister you're having a problem with. Now, we move from Paul's appeal to the appeal now to these women. He says, I implore Yodhi, I implore Syndiki, be of the same mind. Now, maybe you're wondering, if you know anything about the epistle to the Philippians, Paul's in prison, and so maybe you're wondering, I don't understand, how did Paul know about Yodhi and Syndiki? How did he know they weren't getting along? Well, we don't have time to get into all the history of what was going on, but we do know Epaphroditus, who was the pastor of the church at Philippi, came 800 miles from Philippi to Rome to bring Paul a monetary gift there while he was in prison. Prison food was rarely available, water, and so Paul would need some money to have some of these things. And so Epaphroditus took the journey 800 miles, that'd be about 20 miles a day, and he almost died. Remember in chapter two, he says, Epaphroditus was sick, had been sick unto death, but God had mercy on him, and not on him only, but on me also. At least I should have sorrow upon sorrow. And so Epaphroditus brought him this gift, and I imagine while he was visiting Paul there in prison, he said, hey, Paul, I know you love this church. The church loves you, but we got some problems. And one of the problems we have at the church of Philippi right now is we've got two women, and they are not getting along. And so he probably told Paul about this, and so as he sat down and wrote the letter by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, he makes these appeals. So he says, I implore you. I implore you. I encourage you. I'm exhorting you. In fact, the verb tense indicates he's repeatedly, present tense, repeated effort. So there was a repetition of this. I implore you. It's as if he's saying, please, Yodia, please, syndicate, I am pleading with you. Now it's interesting, Yodia's name means a good and prosperous journey, and even though there's probably no significance to her name, it could be tempting to apply that we can't have a good and prosperous journey in our Christian life if we're squabbling with each other, right? And syndicate's name means to meet with or to come together, a pleasant acquaintance. Again, we cannot force any significance in the meaning of her name, but perhaps in solving their differences, they needed to meet with one another, right? Ladies, let me tell you straight off, avoiding someone is not reconciliation, okay? So when you have a squabble with someone, don't avoid them, go take care of it, do it quickly. Jesus says when you come to worship and you know you have something against your brother, what do you do? You leave this church, you go reconcile with your brother, then you come back, right? And worship. And so we do these things quickly, otherwise we give Satan a foothold. Now who are Yodiah, who are syndicate? Well we know from the next verse they labored with Paul in the Gospel, but you might wondering how did they get to the church at Philippi? We don't know for sure, but remember Paul started, he founded the church at Philippi in Acts 16, and normally when Paul went into a city to start a church, he'd go into the synagogue, but when he started the church at Philippi, he didn't go into the church there in the synagogue, in fact it says he didn't go in, but he went down to a river. And remember when he went down to the river, there was there was some praying going on, and remember there were the women that were gathered together by the river, and they were praying in Acts 16, and remember Lydia, the Lord opened her heart, and she became the first convert there in Philippi, and so it's possible that Yodiah and syndicate were also two of the women in Acts 16, it says where the women were accustomed to go down to the river and pray, and so it could be at that time that those two women were there, we don't know for sure, but this is the time that Paul founded the church at Philippi, and so even though they're not mentioned, it's possible that they were there. Now some have supposed, according to church history, that Yodiah and syndicate were deaconesses in the church, don't get really worked up about that. A deaconess is just a woman who serves, some people believe in 1 Timothy chapter two, which says likewise their wives talking about the deacons, that they're talking about females who just are, they just serve in the church, it's not a role of authority, so don't throw your egg bites at me, okay? They were just servants, that's what, ladies we're all servants, every one of us in here is a servant of the Lord, or we should be, but they were prominent women in the church, and they labored with Paul in the ministry, so they were leaders in the church. Evidently they weren't known to have made trouble, but somewhere they had a falling out. We do not know anything else about these women, they are not mentioned anywhere else in the scripture. I do not know what their falling out was about, but knowing women I can only imagine. Maybe how you parent, you know, there's certainly some disagreements on that. If it was our day and age, do you homeschool, do you public school, do you Christian school, do you, there's women that are petty about that, or how church services should be handled. I was talking to a lady the other day on the phone, and she said that she and another lady were actually, well she wasn't, she was trying to stop it, squabbling over the paint, the color of the nursery, the color of the paint, and I said are you serious? And she said yeah, I'm serious, that we might have a church split over this. And I'm like really? Okay, well that's pretty petty. But maybe with Yodi and Cindy, maybe it's a doctrinal issue, or knowing women, it could just been female, you know, relationships and hormones, how they go. But ladies I will say this, women in my opinion, this is why my husband says I don't know how you work with women, we are often speculative. We judge people's motives. That's why I think it's good to have a man, if you don't have a husband, have somebody to bounce things off of, because men to me in my opinion are a little more objective than women, we're more emotional, God made us that way. Women often wear their feelings right here, and they're very touchy at times. I don't know what it was, whatever, you know, maybe you have an idea in mind too, I don't know. But I do know that God was not pleased that they could not work out the difference among themselves, and Paul was not delighted either. And again, what is concerning, these women were in leadership. And ladies, anytime you have women in leadership that can't get along, or even men in leadership, that cannot get along, it can destroy a whole church. And don't think it can't. It will, and I've seen it happen many times. And so Paul had to handle it publicly, or else the whole church would be affected by it. In fact, in another place in Hebrews 12, Paul warns us regarding the danger of not being at peace with each other, and the damage it can do. He says, listen, pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no man will see the Lord. That's a very frightening passage. And then he goes looking diligently, let's see anyone fall short of the grace of God, least a root of bitterness spring up and trouble you, and by it many are defiled. Ladies, listen very carefully. If you do not take care of offenses with each other, it can defile a whole church. In fact, the word defile means to stain with color, to be seared, to be besmirched as with mud or filth. You don't wanna defile your church. Do you wanna stain your whole church? In fact, you know, the proverb says, these six things the Lord hates, yes, seven are an abomination to him. Listen to what he says, a proud look, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that are swift to running to evil, a false witness who speaks lies, and here's the one the Odeon Syndicate need to listen to, one who sows discord among the brethren. It's an abomination to God, and these women needed to get along. By the way, before we go on, this principle applies not only to those in our local church, but in our family. You should strive to be at peace with those that you live with in your home, in your community, in your neighborhood. So this is the first lesson we can learn from these two women, the first S is this. Strive to be at peace with all men. Strive to be at peace with all men. Ladies, this may mean you need to go over and over and over it again, but get it worked out. If it's not worked out the first time, go back a second time. Say, hey, maybe we need to shelve this, let's try to get together again tomorrow, or the next day, get it worked out. Paul already admonished the whole church, stand fast in the Lord, and now he entreats these two women. He says, be of the same mind in the Lord. So the second lesson we can learn from these squabbling women is the need, and this is the B on your acrostic, be of the same mind in the Lord. What does this mean? Be of the same mind in the Lord as you settle your dispute. Be united in the Lord. Reconcile with each other in the Lord. Ladies, this is the only way to settle a disagreement. What would the Lord have you do in this situation? It's not about being right. It's about getting the matter settled in the Lord. You may need to defer and just say, you know what? Let's just put it aside. I forgive you. Let's just move on. What would Jesus do in this situation? And that's what we need to do. We need to humble ourselves, right? Give up our pride, and many times, sometimes you have to agree to disagree and move on. In fact, Paul knew that the key to how to do this is found in chapter two. So turn over back to chapter two, and I'm gonna give you several principles here on how to settle disagreements. Chapter two, he begins in verse three. He says, let nothing be done through strife or vanglory, but in lowliness of mind, let each of you consider each other better than yourself. Do not look out for your own interests, but for the interests of others. In fact, he says in another place, you shall love your neighbor as yourself, Galatians 4, 14, and 15. You shall love your neighbor as yourself, listen carefully, but if you bite and devour one another, take heed, least you be consumed by each other. It's a very serious warning. In fact, Paul will go on in verse 16 of that same chapter in Galatians to say, walk in the spirit and you will not fulfill the lust of your flesh. Ladies, walking in the spirit is certainly key to being of the same mind in the Lord. Walk in the spirit. This is another principle we must heed to when working out our differences. This is the A on your acrostic. Always be walking in the spirit. Always be walking in the spirit. When my husband and I do premarital counseling, usually in the first session, you know what he says? He usually says, if you two will walk in the spirit, you'll have a good marriage. And then he usually says, so the counseling can end and you can just go on, we don't need anymore. Just walk in the spirit and you're gonna have a great marriage. Ladies, that would just be doing what would Christ have you to do? Walk in love, joy, peace. That is the fruit of the spirit. Long suffering, goodness, meekness that we looked at last night, self-control. If we would only be self-controlled with our speech, with our thought life, with the things we do, we'd have great relationships with each other. James tells us, where do these things come from? Where do Fison Wars come from? From our own lust, right? We want something. And so that's why we fight and we war. Now, maybe you think that just because your name is not recorded in the Bible by way of warning to others that you're safe. Matthew says something different, right? 12th, 36th, 37th, sobering passage. But I say to you every idol word that men will speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment. For by your words, you will be justified or by your words, you will be condemned. So ladies, we need to take careful. We're gonna give it an account for everything we've done in our body, Paul says. Whether it's good or bad. Be careful with your words. Don't be known as a woman who causes disputes. It stirs up trouble. I like what somebody told me one day. She said, Susan, you should taste your words before you speak them. Taste your words before you speak them. Do I need to say this? Is this necessary? Is it true? Years ago when I first became a Christian, I was so gunned and whole about everything and my husband used to say, Susan, you don't always have to express your opinion about everything. I don't, I want to. And so I thought, okay, he's right. Need to listen to what he's saying. So now he says, why are you so quiet? And I say, because I don't always need to express my opinion about everything. So, you know, that's the way it is. Now I've lost my place here. All right. Paul not only admonishes these two ladies to be of the same mind with each other, but now he calls on others to help them out. Back in verse chapter four, evidently they couldn't solve it on their own. So he had to get others to be involved. Ladies, let me bring out another principle here when dealing with squabbles. This is the end on your acrostic. You need to settle this matter between yourself so others don't have to get involved. So now Paul has to call on other people to help them. Ladies, get it settled between yourself. How embarrassing to have to call in two or three other people or even the leadership of the church because you and whoever it is cannot settle your difference. And so he says this, I urge you true companion, help these women, help these women. I'm urging you true companion. This is someone who's genuine, sincere, worthy of confidence. In fact, the word means a person who pulls well in a harness for two. So this is probably somebody that has gifts of counseling or exhortation and they're able to get these two women together and help them. We don't know who this person is. He doesn't say, he just says he's a true companion. And he says, help these women, assist them that they can get their differences worked out. Now how are they to do this? How's this person, this true companion, to do it? Well, I will tell you how not to do it. You should not do it with a verbal lashing or harshness, right? That's not how you help people. Paul tells us how to help people. If you're called in to help some people get along, I would encourage you to follow what Paul says in Galatians 6-1 where he says, my brethren, you who are spiritual restore each other in a spirit of what? Meekness, remember what we talked about last night? Meekness, strength under control. One of the ladies who disciples me told me years ago, Susan, when you're getting ready to confront someone, she said, first of all, I hope you never enjoy it. And I said, I don't, and I still don't. I don't enjoy confronting people at all. But she said, when you have to, she said, always make sure you have a white glove on. This year was trying to tell me, be gentle, right? Considering who? Myself, at least I am tempted in the same way. It could be me next week they come to and say, hey Susan, you need to get your lack together. You're kind of messing up here. And so we do it in a spirit of meekness. Now, as mentioned earlier, these were not peripheral people in the church. These women had labored together with Paul in the gospel, as he says. When he says in chapter four, verse three, he says, and you, true Yoke fellow, help these women who labored with me in the gospel. Paul then goes on to mention another person who labored with him in the gospel. He says, Clement, you help these guys too, these girls too. And Clement's name means merciful. And he appears to have been a part of the church at Philippi. And then Paul adds, not only the Yoke fellow, whoever that was, and not only Clement, but now he says, and the rest of my fellow workers whose names are written in the book of life. What's he saying? Okay, Yoke fellow, if you can't help him, Clement, if you can't, then let's call the whole church together. All whose names are written in the book of life. They go to the church at Philippi, you all come together and help these two women to get along. How embarrassing, you know? I hope they got it straightened out when the Yoke fellow helped or Clement, but I don't know, it doesn't tell us what happened. You know, one of the things that this puzzles me throughout life is when I, through the years, when I have tried to settle differences with people, and I remember specifically talking to one woman years and years ago, she was one of my closest friends, and we had a disagreement, it was over a doctrinal spiritual issue, and I remember we tried to settle it, it never got settled, but I said, you know, I don't understand. I said, I would much rather settle this now on planet Earth than to someday have to stand before the Lord about this. I would rather clear this up now, but they refuse to reconcile with my husband and I. I don't understand that kind of thinking. How are we, who say we're true Yoke fellows, we're true Christians, our names are written in the book of life, how is it that we think that we can't, that we're gonna get to heaven and that we're gonna live with these people that we can't get along with on Earth, you know? What's the poem I say? To live with the saints below, that's, I can't have the poem, but anyway, to live with the saints in glory, that'll be another story. I'm not saying it right. That's why I shouldn't veer from my nose, but anyway, just don't wait. Don't wait till that day, right? To stand before the Lord, get it taken care of now. Now, as mentioned, Paul had given a key to avoiding this type of thing in chapter two and I wanna briefly consider, again, chapter two verse one because here are some more principles on how to settle your differences. He says, therefore, if there's any consolation in Christ, any comfort of love, any fellowship of the spirit, any affection and mercy, fulfill my joy by being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord and of one mind. Paul says, fulfill my joy, make my joy complete. So ladies, another principle we must consider when we choose arguing and bickering is this. This is the you on your acrostic. The unity of the body is at stake. The unity of the body is at stake. A little leaven leavens a whole lump. Don't be deceived about this. Ladies, unity in the body is every pastor's dream. I know, because I'm married to one. But I will tell you, every pastor's nightmare is a church where its members are in a constant state of disunity and harmony. Unity is at stake. You better get that difference worked out. Another lesson we must learn, according to this verse, is the B, be mindful that disunity affects your leadership. They grieve. Be mindful that disunity affects your leadership. They grieve. And I know this, because I'm married to a pastor. It's when people are biding and devouring one another, it's grieving. Ladies, we need to be careful. Hebrews 13.7 says, submit to those in authority over you. Why? They watch for your souls. And they're gonna give an account on that day when they stand before the Lord, before the chief shepherd. The shepherds here are gonna give an account. And Paul says in Hebrews 13, you obey them, you submit to them. They watch for your souls. And they're gonna give an account on that day. And he goes on to say, let them do that with joy and not with grief, or that's gonna be unprofitable for you. So, you know, Paphroditus stands before the Lord and says, Lord, I tried. Clement tried too. This other guy, he tried too. The whole church tried to help Yodia and Syndicke get along. And Lord, they couldn't get along. So I'm giving an account of these two women, and it's not with joy, it's with grief. They couldn't get along. I don't know how that all fleshes out at the great white throne judgment, but it says in Hebrews very clearly that our pastors are gonna give an account for us on that day. And ladies, I don't know about you, but I want my pastor giving an account of me with joy and not with grief, for that will be unprofitable for me. Yodia and Syndicke needed to be like-minded. They need to be intent on one purpose, having the mind of Christ. They also needed to have the same love, Paul says here. This would be love for God's word, his people, his work. And so ladies, this is another principle when considering squabbles or disagreements. This is the L on your acrostic. Love must be preeminent in your thoughts as you settle these matters. Love must be preeminent in your thoughts as you settle these matters. Am I loving God as I have this dispute with this person? Am I loving this person? Am I doing to her as I would like her to do to me? Am I loving the kingdom of God by having this argument with this person? Do I realize the glory of God in his reputation is at stake if we don't take care of this? Ladies, we can differ on opinions, but we should all have the same love. My husband recently has been in Romans, in Romans chapter 14, which you know, he that regards the day regards it unto the Lord, he that regards not the day regards it unto the Lord and talking about what we eat and what we drink. And he says, you know, I know everybody in here has different views on the mass, different views on the vaccines. He said, you can have your opinions and you can even express them strongly, but you can never allow it to tear up your relationships. Relationships are at a premium, right? So you can disagree, but you can't destroy a relationship over something so petty. Now are there times we do break fellowship? Of course. And we have those principles in scripture, but evidently that's not what was going on here with Yodia and Cynda Key. Well, Paul gives you another key in verse three of chapter two, that Yodia and Cynda Key would have done well to take heed to. Notice what he says. Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit. Selfishness means self-will, strife, contention. Paul is very clear in another place in 2 Timothy, the servant of the Lord must not quarrel, but be gentle, be gentle towards all men. Ladies are Lord never allowed such a motive to influence him and neither should we. It's not about us. We are to look out for the interest of others. Again, Paul uses another word here, let nothing be done through selfishness or vanglory, which means pride and exalted opinion of yourself. You know, some people just wanna be right. I've ever met people like that? They don't care. They just want to win the argument. Even if they're dead wrong, even if you can prove they're dead wrong, they're still right. That's what this, they're vain, they're puffed up with pride. Ladies, James talks about this. If you have bitter envy and strife in your heart, don't glory, don't lie about this. This wisdom doesn't descend from above, right? It's earthly, it's sensual, it's demonical. And so we know the wisdom from above as we're settling disagreements. It's pure, it's peaceable, it's gentle, it's easy to be entreated, it's full of mercy and good fruits. Those are the things that should be going on as we settle disagreements. Yourself should never enter into the equation when you're trying to settle a dispute. Think of the person, the other person. Put yourself in her shoes, be humble. Humble opinion about yourself, be humble before the Lord. Now, humility here is not thinking meanly or lowly of yourself, it's just not thinking of yourself at all. So as I go and try to settle a dispute with you, I'm not thinking about Susan. I'm not thinking about trying to get my opinion across or my way across. I'm thinking how can I better serve you and help you as we settle this dispute? That kind of changes things, doesn't it? Because we wanna be right too, right? Wanna say, well, I won that argument, yeah. In fact, there are times my husband and I will have differences on decisions that he's gonna make and sometimes he'll come back and he'll say, when he was right, he'll say, say those words I love to hear. And that means you were right and I was wrong. And then there's other times he'll say, I wish I had to listen to you. So I'm like, yes, so, but that's not my notes either. So having a lowliness of mind does not mean, and when Paul talks here, about having a lowliness of mind, it doesn't mean I want to make sure that we're thinking along the biblical terms here. It doesn't mean we're at the beckoning call of everyone who comes knocking at our door too, right? Don't give in to people's whims when you're settling a disagreement. Their sinfulness, don't give in to that. Does it mean you don't confront their sin if they're angry while you're trying to settle it? In fact, before I became a believer, I had a terrible temper and so when I would, my husband would never join me in that and he'd say, Susan, I will talk to you when you calm down. Well, that just made me orn raised. And so that didn't work either. But if you're trying to settle a dispute and they're enraged to say, you know, and I would even, if this, even your husband, you say, you know, I'm gonna go in the other room right now when you, when you calm down, we'll talk. I can't talk to you while you're angry. This is sinful. So it doesn't mean the lowliness of mind is that you give in to their whims or you coddle them or cater to their sinfulness. But it does mean that you do try to consider them, humble yourself before them and say, well, maybe I just misunderstood, you know, and you try to work it out that way. Ladies, nothing will hurt human relationships more than an attitude of pride. God gives grace to the humble, but he opposes the proud. If we truly have the right mindset of ourselves, which is humility, then Paul says, we will esteem others better than ourselves. We'll think of others better than ourselves. So ladies, another lesson we consider is we think about these two women. Settling disagreements is the G on your acrostic. Give up your pride. Give it up. It's not worth it. Give up your pride. Think of the other person more than yourself. Look out for their interests, not yours. Don't even think of yourself. Ladies, I'm sorry, we're not that important. If the nations are a drop in the bucket, what are we? We're not even the pinhead on a little pin, right? I mean, we're nothing. Don't think of yourself. Don't think that you're that important. Paul goes on in verse four to say, let each of you look out not for his own interests, but for the interests of others. The word look means to scope out the interest of others. Don't be absorbed in yourself as you try to settle this disagreement. In fact, Elizabeth Elliott says, if a marriage counselor were to ask each partner, what are your goals? And the answer was this, how can I best serve my husband or my wife? And what can I do to further his or her goals? She says the counseling period would be over and the bill low. Like what is your goals in marriage? Oh, I just want to, whatever I can do to serve my husband, that's what I want to do. Well, then you don't need marriage counseling, right? You'll have a great marriage. Kind of like my husband says, if you walk in the spirit, you'll have a good marriage. Ladies, wouldn't that be just glorious if we would really look out for the interests of others and not the interest of ourselves? So when I'm settling a disagreement, I can ask how can I best serve this person? How can I help this person? That is genuine humility. Well, another way we can settle some squabbles, you don't have to turn there, but Colossians, I'm still trying to bring out the rest of the principles that I think are as imperative as I was thinking about these two women. Colossians three says that we're to bear with one another and forgive one another. If any man or in our case, a woman has a quarrel with each other, we're to forgive, right? As Christ forgave us. Ladies, we're to bear with each other. When we have a disagreement, we are to bear, we are to endure with each other. Here's my poem that I tried to quote a while ago. To live above with the saints we love, oh, that will be glory, but to live below with the saints we know, that's another story. There you go. And it can be difficult, right? From time to time to bear with each other. And so ladies, here's another principle coming from the epistle to the Colossians. Impatience is damaging when trying to work out your differences. We're to bear with each other. Impatience is damaging when you're trying to work out your differences. We need to be patient. Listen carefully to what the other person is saying. I know even when my husband and I, we hardly ever argue, which I'm so thankful, but we just have very few disputes. But sometimes I wanna just hurry up and get my point in, you know? And I'm reminded Susan, listen to what he's saying. Be patient. Carefully listen to what he's saying. Don't jump to conclusions, you know? I kind of am the bottom line person and he kind of likes to keep talking. And I'm like, just get to the point and let's move on, you know? Don't interrupt the other person when trying to settle differences. God is patient towards you. Therefore be patient towards others. And so impatience is very damaging when trying to work out disagreements. Paul mentions the next thing. He says you're in Colossians. We're not only to bear with each other, but forgive each other. So ladies, this is the final lesson we must learn from these women. And that's the cue on your acrostic. Be quick to forgive. Be quick to forgive. Paul says we're to forgive one another. If anyone has a quarrel against each other, we forgive. Ladies, if you come to a place where you can't, you just can't settle on the issue, you just need to forgive. So you know, I don't think we're gonna come to the end of this. I think we're just gonna have to agree to disagree, but I forgive you and let's move on. This could be your son, your daughter, your husband, your best friend, your mother, your father, a church acquaintance as in the case of Yodian Syndicate. It could be an enemy, but we must forgive as Christ forgave us. What does that mean? In the same proportion that he's forgiven me, I'm to forgive those that I'm disagreeing with. And ladies, how did he forgive us? Did he forgive us for only a part of our sins? He forgave all, right? As far as the east is from the west, so far as he removed our transgressions from us, he forgave us completely and he forgave every sin that we've ever committed. And so I'm to forgive those that I'm having a disagreement with with that kind of forgiveness. I forgive you. I forgive you. Let's forget about it. Ladies, we have so many examples of this in the scriptures. This is hard for you if you're holding a grudge. If you have bitterness towards someone in your heart, I would encourage you to go to that passage in Colossians. I would encourage you to study the example of Joseph who was thrown in a pit by his brother, sold into slavery, accused falsely by Potiphar's wife. And what does he do at the end of his life when his brothers come back and say, hey, dad's dead now. That's my translation. Dad's dead now and please forgive us. They're terrified. And he said, am I in the place of God? You meant it for evil, but God meant it for good. And he forgave them and he fell on them and they wept. Or even Stephen, you know, Stephen hadn't been in the ministry very long. In Acts chapter six, he's chosen as one of the six men and he's serving and he preaches this great sermon in Acts chapter seven and gives a thousand years of Israel's history. And at the end he goes, you stiff neck, you uncircumcised in heart, you always resist the Holy Spirit course. No wonder they took up these big stones and started throwing them at him, you know. They didn't like his sermon. And stoning in the biblical world was not little pebbles. It was big stones. So they start throwing them at Stephen and he falls to the ground, he shrieks like a raven, says in the Greek and he lifts his eyes to heaven and he says, Jesus, forgive them, forgive them. Just the same thing Jesus said from the cross, forgive them. He forgave his persecutors as they're stoning him to death. So ladies, you also need to forgive. If you come and you've tried to put all these principles into practice that I mentioned to you and you still can't and you even have other people getting along, you just need to forgive. If you choose to not forgive, bitterness and resentment will set in. I can guarantee you. And I've met a lot of bitter women through the years. You can see it on their face. They are bitter. It will rob you of your joy. It will rob you of intimacy with the Lord. And by the way, as I mentioned earlier, avoidance is not forgiveness. It's not forgiveness. So what are the lessons we can learn from these two women, Yodi and Syndiki, who are having a squabble? The S, strive to be at peace with all men. Have you made every effort to be at peace with all men? If not, why not? The Q, quick to forgive. Are you holding any grudge towards anyone? Is there anyone you're avoiding because you have ought in your heart? Remember, if you do not show mercy, God will not show mercy to you on judgment day. James 2, 13 is very clear. Those who show no mercy, forgiveness will be shown no mercy. Jesus says, when you stand praying, forgive. Or I won't forgive you. That's a very serious sobering passage. The you on your cross stick, unity of the body is at stake. Do you stop to consider that your squabbles with others, even your family members, can affect the unity of the body? If unresolved, a little 11, 11's the whole lump. A, always walk in the spirit. The last squabble you had, can you honestly say you were walking in the spirit? Did your flesh get the best of you? B, be of the same mind in the Lord. When you have issues with others, do you consider what the Bible says you should do in that particular situation? Does Christ and His Word enter your mind as you dialogue with those that you disagree with? The second be, be mindful that this unity affects your leadership. Do you stop and consider that your leadership is gonna give an account for your life before the chief shepherd on judgment day? Will he do that with joy or grief when your name is brought up? And if it is with grief, will it be because you were known as a woman who could not get along with others? L, love must be preeminent in my thoughts as I said all matters. In your disputes with others, is the love of God and love for them preeminent in your thoughts? Or are you selfishly trying to get your own way? Are you doing and saying what is best for them? Why? Impatience is damaging when trying to work out differences. If I were to ask the last person you had a disagreement with, would they tell me you were forbearing and long suffering as you dealt with them and the issue that was at hand? Or would they say you were angry and impatient? In. You need to settle the matter between you and you and the others so leadership does not have to get involved. Have you made every effort to settle disputes with just you and the other person as Matthew 18 says? Or have you noticed your disagreements with others have required that others get involved because you can't seem to settle them yourself? G, give up your pride. Have you forgotten from whence you've come? Did you forget that you are dust, a fading flower, a worm? That's what the Bible calls us. Are you unwilling to humble yourself in the midst of a dispute and admit your wrongdoing? What about you my friend? Is there someone that you're having a disagreement with or a misunderstanding? Have you had a squabble with someone that is not resolved? What have you done about it? I would encourage you to do everything within your means to reconcile as Paul says as much as possible live peaceably with all men. Are there individuals that you know that are not getting along in your church, in your family, or in the church collectively? Have you gone to them? Have you lovingly shared with them the need to get together and to reconcile? Have you pleaded with them? If you really love them, you will. You will do that. As sisters in Christ, let us determine to be of the same mind in the Lord to help others who perhaps are struggling with this in their own life. I don't know about you, but I don't want my pastor, my husband, mentioning me on the church's social media or from the pulpit as one who is not getting along with others, but more than that, I don't want my Lord's dealing with me on that day because of my refusal to reconcile with a brother or a sister. Let's pray. Father, we do come to you with humble hearts this morning. We know that your word is very clear that we are not to quarrel, we are not to argue. We are to empty ourselves of our pride and our arrogance. We are to strive to be at peace. We are to walk in the spirit. We are not to fulfill the lust of our flesh. We know that wisdom that comes from the devil is earthly, sensual, demonical, it breeds confusion, strife. And so Lord, we would pray that you would help us to be women who are self-controlled in this area. Lord, that we would let those petty things just go. We don't need to bring up every jot and tittle to others. Help us to be wise. Help us to really make those things that we need to work out. Things that are doctrinal issues or things that are truly important in this life but not those things that are just gray areas, things that we might differ about. And Lord, if there's any woman here this morning that is at odds with somebody, I pray that she would take care of this issue and she would do it quickly. She would not let her head rest on her pillow tonight without settling any differences that she may have with someone. So Lord, we give you the rest of our time. Pray that it will be used for your glory. We thank you for this example for our learning. We want to avoid this, Father. We don't want to be known as a squabbling woman. Thank you again for this time together. May you be honored and glorified in it for Christ's sake. Amen.