 The Craft Foods Company presents the Great Gildersleeve. It's the Great Gildersleeve starring Harold Perry brought to you by the Craft Foods Company, makers of a complete line of famous quality food products. Did you ever have one of those mornings when you wake up about an hour or two early? It's still cold and dark and you try to go back to sleep. You turn over and pound a pillow and then you get to thinking about all the work you've got to do and first thing you know, I might as well get up. And that's why we find the Great Gildersleeve sitting down at the breakfast table this morning at 8 o'clock sharp. Hi, y'all. Gosh, what happened? Good morning, LeRoy, Marjorie. Anki, what's the matter? Matter? Nothing's the matter. Birdie, let's get going here, shall we? Exactly. It's not particularly early. Oh, Anki, for goodness sake. You're never down before half past. This is ridiculous. I'm down here at 8 o'clock every morning and none too early at that. You want the paper? No time for it. Well, I might just glance at it. LeRoy's got the comic. No time for those. I'll just look over the front page. Come on, Mr. Gildersleeve. You've caught me a little bit tickin' between, but here's your orange juice. Yeah, thank you, Birdie. If you'd let me know you wanted breakfast early, I'd have had it all ready for you. It's not particularly early, Birdie. It's 8 o'clock. I have to be at my office at 9. That will do, LeRoy. Well, if I'd known you wanted it early, I'd have had it all ready. I'm whipping up some eggs and toast and I'll have it in here directly. Fine. Only if you'd just let me know the next time. For heaven's sake, you'd think it was the middle of the night. Hey! Ooh, Abner's pretty good today. I can't stand little Abner. That day, he may make me sick chasing him all the time. I don't like to see you two wasting your minds on that... Where's the mail? The mail? Yes, mail. Letters. The stuff the postman brings. Where is it? Uncle, you know the postman never gets here before 9 o'clock. It only shows you how early he's got. I am not early. Is that understood? Yes, Uncle. All right, eat your breakfast. Good morning, Floyd. Just give me a quick trim, will you? Sure, Commissioner. Climb right up in the chair. In a hurry? Not particularly why. Well, you said a quick trim. You want it quick or you want it good? I want it good, but I haven't got it all day. What's up? Nothing is up. I have an office to get to. That's all. Pretty early for you, just the same. It's not early, and I don't intend to argue any more about it. Gosh, what did I do? Okay, Commissioner, the doctor. Just relax. All right. Make it snappy. Okay. You want to look pretty, don't you? I know you want to look pretty. I know why you want to look pretty. I'll make you look like a 25-year-old college boy. How about a butch? What are you talking about, Floyd? Or is it nothing as usual? You don't have to kid me, Commissioner. Man comes rushing into a barbershop an hour before his regular time to look pretty. Don't take a building to fall on me. What? Make it easy, Mr. Gillisleeve. You ain't the first guy I ever got excited about his secretary. My secretary? Bessie? What kind of... There's never been a slight... Oh, my goodness. I get around, you know. Listen, Floyd, if you've heard anything, I can explain it. I heard plenty, but you don't have to explain it. I understand it. I had a manicurist in here once. Pretty soon, I was looking at her all the time. One day, I almost cut a guy's ear off. I had to let her go. Floyd, I am not involved with my secretary. I suppose you heard something about some candy. Maybe I did. Well, this is what happened, Floyd. Bessie had a toothache one day last week, and she sent in a friend to take her place. Yeah. This was just for one day, you understand? She was a friend of Bessie's from out of town. A stranger in the city. Lonesome. Can't find a stop trying to twist this thing. Careful, Commissioner. Might stab you. Well, naturally, I felt grateful to this girl for helping out in this emergency. Replacing Bessie at such short notice. Yeah. So I thought that it was a token of my appreciation. I'd get her a little candy. I heard seven pounds. That peevee, he has no more discretion. Well, I'll keep you straight on. I didn't hear a thing from peevee. You know he never tells anything. Where'd you hear it then? Never mind. So you bought the day McCrady's chocolate. I simply left them on her desk. Expected that to be the end of it. But there was a mix-up. She didn't find them. Bessie did. But Bessie got the idea somehow. They were for her. And she misinterpreted and... Floyd, I'm telling you the truth. I never even looked at Bessie. Where there's smoke, there's a fire. There's no fire. There's no smoke even. It probably sounds fishy. I'll say. But there's nothing in it. Floyd, don't say anything about this, will you? Me? You know I never talk, Commissioner. We just keep the thing between you and me and the lamppost. There's nothing between you and me or the lamppost either. Oh, what's the use? This is terrible. It doesn't look good for a public official. It doesn't look good for Bessie either. I'm afraid I'm going to have to let her go. Mr. Gellerstein, what can I do for you this fine day? Nothing, PB. I'm just worried. That's all. Did you ever have an employee on your hands? Well, I've had assistance from time to time. I had your nephew Leroy in here one summer. Remember? I remember. He ate himself sick the first week. No, I mean a regular assistant. Well, I've had people working here from time to time. Did you ever have one that was unsatisfactory? Well, let me see. Unsatisfactory is a pretty vague description. I had a man that stole. I guess he was unsatisfactory, wasn't he? Well, I wouldn't say that. In many ways, he was the most satisfactory man I ever had. Put up a nice prescription. Good head for prices. Neat cutter. He had just one flaw. Did you fire him? Oh, no, no. He emptied the cash register one night and went to Mexico with a dancer. Well, that's one way. My problem is different. I didn't know you had a problem. Well, I have. Not thinking you had a problem. Well, I have. Not thinking you're going to Mexico? No. P.V., what are you talking about? Nothing, nothing. Have you heard anything? No, no, no. Well, if you hear anything, it's entirely unfounded. Disregard it. No, I don't know anything. Man buys candy for his secretary. That's very, very helpful. P.V., I'm going to fire my secretary. I've never had any interest in her whatsoever. Besides, she's incompetent. Believe me, I'm just trying to make up my mind whether I ought to replace her. No. Have you ever fired one of your assistants? No, no, no. I'll never quit. I didn't want to be a dentist. Kaplan moved to another town. Rodney married one of my customers. I consider that unethical. Oh, criminal. Did you ever fire anybody? Well, it seems to me there was one. Oh, yes. Mr. Clement. That was one thing about him. He liked to be called Mr. Worked for me three years, and I called him Mr. the whole time. Well, did you fire him for cause? I mean, did he come in intoxicated or mess up a prescription, or what? Oh, no, no. Mr. Clement's never dying. If he did, I never knew I didn't bounce the same thing. Good man with a prescription. I hate to admit this, but I fired Mr. Clement just because I didn't like him. I thought you said he worked for you for three years. He did, and I never liked him a single day. He was one of those fellas that knows everything and tells you all he knows. Calcium chloride is an hydrate, he'd say. I know it, I'd say. And then he'd tell me something else. Nothing more annoying than a fella telling you a lot of stuff you already know. Well, no, I wouldn't say that. He used to tell me stuff I didn't know. And I'd pretend I knew just because he made me so mad. And then I got to looking up stuff to tell him. And if he was praying on my mind, Mr. Gillespie, I just had to let him go. Well, how did you get rid of this model employee, PV? That was easy. One day he said to me, I can still remember his voice. He said, do you know the light from the planet Venus takes 20 million years to reach the Earth? And I said, Mr. Clement, you're fired. Well, maybe that's the only way. Which is I hate to do it. Only she weren't so darn sensitive. She cries if you even look at her. Well, just have to be firm, that's all. Say, maybe I could make a resign. Yeah. Good morning, gentlemen. Good morning, Bessie. Good morning, Mr. Gillespie. You're early, aren't you? Yeet, God, how can I be early? I've been to the barbershop, I stopped in at PV's and I walked the whole way. Yes, sir, but it's only 9.30. For your information, Bessie, that is the time at which I customarily arrive. Why aren't any windows open? A window? It's a little cold, but if you want them open. I do. Can't run an office without oxygen. Where's my mail? On your desk, sir. Shall I open all the windows? Certainly not. Use your head. Bessie, use your head. Yes, sir. I feel like a louse already. What'll I do? Dictate to her? Yeah. Dictate too fast, maybe. That's the thing. Bessie, what are you doing? Come in here with your book. Well, one is enough. Come on. I want to dictate. I'm sorry, Mr. Gillespie. The window's stuck a little. You should open them every day just to keep them in working order. Yes, sir. Let's see. And take a letter to Anderson Fender, tell Fenton Bean. Dear sir. Yes, sir. Got that? I'll get it from their stationery later. With the address. Well, let's see. Replying to yours to the 21st, the devil that they want, vague to advise that the sinking fund, first amortization bonds with which the Somerfield Reservoir was constructed, will become renewable as to the prior lien with respect to series A, whereas series B will necessitate anterior action. Who sent this letter? Oh, lawyers. I can't answer this. Is there anything I can't answer? Nothing in here but bills. Can't find it. Why is it so cold in here? I opened the window. Why'd you do that? You told me to. Yeah, that's right. I did. What's this here? The petty cash account. Oh? What's it doing here? There's a shortage of two dollars. I want to ask you about it. A shortage? A shortage of petty cash? Uh-huh. Bessie, do you know that's the most serious terrible thing that can happen in an office? Bessie, do you? Nothing, Bessie. Bessie, I didn't mean to get excited. Two dollars. What is that amount to trivial, Bessie? Go wash your face. It walked away. It's all my fault. I certainly handled that nicely. But by George, I'll do it tomorrow. I've got great news, cheese lovers. Craft American is back. Craft American, you surely remember. Did you hear that, John? Craft American is back. Craft American? Are you sure you heard right? Tune up that radio. I want to hear. Since the war, Craft has been hoping for this day when they could offer you again their famous pasteurized process American. American with the medium mellow cheddar flavor you've hankered for, and dependable cooking quality that toasts and melts to perfection. Yes, you're all favorite. Craft American is here again. Look for the blue half-pound package. Mark, Craft American. Look for the two-pound loaf. Mark, Craft American. And when you buy a portion or sandwich-sized slices from a five-pound loaf, always ask to see the wrapper. Mark, Craft American. You no longer need to make do with substitute. The food store near you now has genuine Craft American with the mellow cheddar goodness you've wanted for so long. Get some tomorrow. Well, it's another morning, another day. Time to be up and doing. Gildersleeve is up, but he isn't doing. He is sitting at the breakfast table alone with his coffee cup. In the bottom of the cup, there is a single drop of coffee. He's saving that. He's been nursing it, in fact, for half an hour. The children have long since left for school. Bertie has cleared the table, all but his cup. She has swept the carpet right up to Gildersleeve. She has swept around Gildersleeve. In your way, Bertie? No, sir, sit still. I've got other things I can do. I'm just finishing my coffee here. Yes. I don't suppose you've got another drop or two out there in the kitchen. No, sir, you've cleaned the pot, but I could make some more. No, no. It wouldn't take me five minutes. Let it go, Bertie. I don't really want any more coffee. Hmm. I guess I've just got to face it. If you've got some to say, it may be a little more coffee would help. No, I shouldn't. I drink more than four cups. It keeps me awake all day. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Oh, let it go, Bertie. Let it go. Mr. Gildersleeve, you act like a man got something on his mind. Oh, I have, Bertie. That ain't like you. I have a very disagreeable task to perform, Bertie. And I dread it. It's always unpleasant to have to fire somebody. Yes, sir. Especially someone who's been in your employ a long time. Yes. There's nobody really to blame. It isn't a question of that. I know I'm not an easy man to work for. My standards are pretty high, but... Mr. Gildersleeve, you can put your mind at rest. How do you mean? You don't have to fire me. I quit. Bertie! Bertie, wait! Oh, my goodness. Bertie, listen. You've got me all wrong. I mean, if that's cooking the world. Bertie, you are... You know where you're going to get a bottle of better words. By the way, Bertie, listen. I wasn't talking about you. Working in this house ain't no better roses, you know. I know that. People hollering for meals at all. Eyes and phone ringing, a doorbell ringing, and like a guy got a busted call. I'll fix it, Bernie, right away. I know I ain't as young as I was, but can't nobody say I don't do my best. Well, nobody said that, Bernie. Now, just- That's just one thing I- I know you do, Bernie. We all know that. If you don't use- Yes, I do. No, but you are, Bernie. You're wonderful. That's just what I- I ain't like some people that take the money and ask them to please think about me. I just do my best. Yeah. We're all agreed on that, Bernie. There's no argument about that whatsoever. My best is all I can do. Yeah. We all know that. That's why I start- Can I do more and more and more than that? Yeah. Bernie, will you do one thing for me? Will you try to calm down and listen to me? Well, this is my best. This whole thing is a misunderstanding, Bernie. I wasn't talking about you. I was talking about my secretary. I never had the slightest intention of firing you. Nothing could ever be further from my mind. What are you getting all excited about? I wasn't excited, Bernie. You were excited. You can't- I told you that. I can't work out of places, you know. I can plan involved. Well, I know that, Bernie. I know that only too well. But now I'll tell you what you do. You run up to your room and lie down for a little while, Bernie, and let me clean up these breakfast dishes, huh? I wouldn't mind a bit, you know. You've been working pretty hard. You get a little rest. No, sir. Why not? I ain't going to have folks saying, Bernie, let the folks do her work for her. That's one thing about me. Do your best, you know. All right, Bernie. Have it your own way. You do the dishes, and I'll go fix the electric iron. How about that? Up to you, Mr. Guilty. You the boss. Are you kidding? Oh, what time is it? Oh, getting late. Do it the office. Say, how would it be if I fixed the iron this evening instead? You the boss. All right. I'll do it this evening without fail, Bernie. Gotta get going now. Remind me. Wait a minute. Everything's all right, isn't it, Bernie? Everything's all right, isn't it, Bernie? I said everything's all right, isn't it? We're still friends. You'll still be here when I get back tonight. Joking, of course. Well, goodbye, Bernie. Goodbye, brother. If I ever fire anybody again. Oh, well. Wait a minute. Haven't fired her yet. She had Bessie in the first place. Maybe I should give her another chance. Maybe when she gets used to the job. After all, I've only been there three years. Judge, how you been? I'll just stay to her. Now, look here, Bessie. In fairness to you, I feel... No, they won't arrive. Watch this. No thanks, Judge. You're only going a few blocks. Now, so am I. Climb in. Well, I want to take you out of your way. You won't. I'm going right to City Hall. I'd really just as soon walk, Judge. Nonsense. I'm almost there. Take up your mind. You're tying up traffic. I'm not tying it up, you old goat. You are. I was walking along, minding my own business. Excuse me. Thank you very much, Judge. I can walk the rest of the way. Stay in, you fool. I want to talk to you. Hey, what's the idea? You're crazy or something. No, he's drunk. You never put out your hand. There's a law on this, count bud. When the light turns... Oh, for heaven's sake, let me drive. Judge, have you got a license? Clearly, I've got a license. I feel much safer with Leroy. I don't know what I was thinking about. The next time you have the car checked, Judge, you better haven't checked you, too. Well, don't think it hasn't been delightful, Horace. Could have done it quicker on foot, but it wouldn't have been near so exciting. Wait a minute. I want to talk to you. What about? What's the story Floyd's telling around about the water commissioner making passes at his secretary? Don, I told him to keep his mouth shut. That kind of story can do a lot of harm, particularly to a man in political office. And don't you ever forget for a minute that yours is purely political. Oh, I don't know. Little scandal and you could be bounced out of there so fast. But the whole story is false. I told Floyd that. There's not a word of truth in it. Be that as it may, guilty. And I'm not saying I believe you. The point is not whether the story is false or true. The point is, it's believable. What do you mean? It sounds like you. I resent that. I'm only telling you this for your own good, guilty. You know how the mayor would love to get something on you. What am I going to do, Horace? You're up to you. I guess I've got to go through with it. Well, say. Say what? Judge, you don't need a darn good secretary, do you? I've got one. But this girl is a wonderful horse. Been with me three years. Take shorthand, typing, filing, answers the phone. Don't say. I could quit myself. I could resign and leave Bessie there in her job. Well, the next commissioner would be sure to fire. And we'd both be out of a job. I could. No, that's no good. After you, commissioner. Oh, thanks, coroner. Found it. Why did this thing have to come up? Well, I'll just have to be tough. No room for sentiment in these matters. What are we running here? An office or a young lady's seminary? Fire them, fire them. That's the way an executive handles it. That's the way Truman does it. I wish Truman would do this. All right, let's cut out the chili shally in Throckmorton. There's only one thing for you to do. Just walk right in there and say to her, Bessie, you're fired. The only thing to do. Well, go ahead and do it. Well, I will. Well, go ahead. Okay. Bessie, you're fired. Where is she? Bessie! Bessie! Found that girl, 1030, and she hasn't showed up yet. I'm going to have to let her go. How does it look for the department if people come in here and... Good morning, Mr. Gilda, please. Bessie, do you know what time it is? Oh, I can explain, Mr. Gilda, slave... After all, what are you running here? An office or a young lady's seminary? A seminary. Let this be a lesson to you, young lady. If things don't improve around here, we'll just have to start looking around. Oh, Mr. Gilda! Nobody's talking about you leaving. I just... Bessie, are you listening? What's that? Wait a minute, Bessie. Wait a minute. Who's Lester? The boy? He keeps wanting me to marry without him. Bessie, there comes a time in every girl's life when she must think of herself. No, no, the water department will struggle along if need be. Love must come first, Bessie. What kind of a boy is this Lester? Well, he works for the gas company. Sounds like a fine young man. Do you love him? Of course you love him. There's just as plain as the nose on your face. Why, you've been in love with him for three years. I'll testify to that. You haven't known whether you were coming or going. You haven't known which end was up. You haven't known... I've only known Lester for two months. Oh, I'm with Lester. Oh, this is so hard. Bessie, I shall merely say this. If you don't marry this boy, I shall discharge you. You think I should marry him? In fact, I think I'll discharge you anyway. Bessie, you're discharged. Please. Thank you, things. Clear out the house anytime. The Great Gelder Slave will be back very shortly. During the month of March, we Americans will be asked to contribute $60 million to enable the Red Cross to carry out their 1947 program with help to those who need it most. One phase of Red Cross work which you may not know about is their service to veterans of our armed forces. Abel-bodied veterans receive assistance in personal and family problems and financial aid while claims are pending or delayed. Last year, this aid was extended to more than one million veterans and their families. Over 80,000 hospitalized veterans will this year be given the benefit of the skill and attention of Red Cross field directors. These workers coordinate the activities whereby hospitalized veterans receive therapeutic recreation and training, assistance with letter writing and shopping, and the helpful service of the Motor Corps. Veterans assistance is a new and important addition to the Red Cross services with which you are so familiar. I know all of you give generously whenever the Red Cross asks. Please do so again this year. Their need is as great as ever. Good night, folks. This play was played by Harold Pearl. It's written by John Keaton and Sam Moore. The music is by Jack Meatham. Included in the cast are Walter Tetley as Lee Roy, Louise Derrickson as Marjorie, and Lillian Randolph as Birdie. Earl Walsh as Judge Hooker and Dick LaGrant plays Mr. Peabody. Stay tuned in for Duffy's Tavern, which follows over most of these stations. This is John Lang saying good night for the craft foods company, and inviting you to listen in again next Wednesday for the further adventures of the Great Kildersley. Good night, John. Think of it, plenty of rich velvety smooth ice cream always on hand for delicious homemade sodas and sundaes. It's easy when you buy the new craft product called Briz, F-R-I-Z-Z. Yes, Briz makes delicious ice cream right in your refrigerator. Real ice cream with plenty of milk and cream in it. Just add water, a little sugar, and freeze according to directions on the package. Made by an exclusive process that retains that fresh cream flavor, it freezes smoothly. Six generous servings from one package of Friz.