 or I could say what was really going through my head and now use that as a teaching moment and I actually think not communicating how I was really feeling is a form of not violence but a form of regression because now I'm pushing this forward into the world. Look how good I was on TV. I'm making great Instagram posts where I'm telling you about how I went from government cheese to now I'm redeemed and by the way why haven't you figured your shit out because if you came from crap too you should have it figured out. That is like it's so subtle. It's a form of abuse. It's a form of abuse to the people who need the most for you to tell the actual truth because if you leave it there this is what I hate about Instagram and you know self-styled gurus these days they have this narrative this arc of redemption where they sometimes probably amplify or manufacturing stumble you know or crisis I was vulnerable you know my ego got the best of me I blew all my money on Lamborghinis but now I'm good.