 Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Should be charging much more than that for oral sex. That barely covers your cost of travel. Think. Sorry. Are we live, man? Or alive? Welcome to Episode Number 22 of the Mighty Michael, fully actual podcast. We are in Michael's shithole house, and they're kicking us out. We've got two weeks left. We're trying to find somewhere else, but no one else wants us there. So if you have a house to rent in North Brisbane, write it in the comments okay and get in touch because he's about to be fucking homeless again. We'll rent it. Shut up. We'll rent what? The house. Oh yeah that to someone else. No we'll rent their house. Oh okay. Sorry. We've got Jade and Dim and Austin sitting behind the cameras everyone. That's right we've got the boys in today and they're gonna come on later for a little interview about their lives and shit man. Holy shit. That's crazy man and fucking we've got a jam-packed episode. We've got the boys coming on. We've got a bachelor Brown. We've got a prank call. We're gonna continue to call the lost property as Darren and Darren's gonna try and describe the fact that he's lost drugs in the lost property and he wants his drugs back. I hope they're still open. Yeah of course. And of course we've got Lying to Locky and we got Jaden here who's going to help us lie to Locky for this episode because Locky is on to us but he will never suspect Jaden. Oh especially on a Thursday this is a different day again. So like do you know the lie yet? No we got to think of one still. Oh we got it. What is it again? Yesterday we're gonna convince you need to call up. I can't remember it. Charmy? No. Locky and say that we need Nigel's number. Ah that's right. The workplace accident. Yeah yeah we're gonna say that that Austin wants Nigel's number for as a workplace accident. He wants to like sue Charmy for a workplace claim. And you're gonna ask him for Nigel's number that will be the lie. Anyway fucking jam-packed episode. Holy shit what a crazy week we've had. Oh man. Today we filmed we ate Michaels. We both at your vomit. He vomited ice cream and he threw it up. We already solved world hunger so this is like instead of your main course this is your dessert. You can just continue to recycle ice cream. Forever. But the annoying thing is you do have to constantly throw up. I prefer the corn because you just once you've eaten that you just sit back and the food is then made a while away. It's easier. Does that sort of make sense? It's a lot yeah. Vomiting ice cream hurts. Yeah. How's that different to saliva? Like how do you freak out more from saliva? They're worse. Fucking what do you do is not strings or what do you call them? Strands. There was some strands today dude. Like proper Flemme vomit shit that like can last forever. You can stretch it like three meters and it stays together. If you want you can do that. That was in an ice cream. Anyway. It'll be on the website. All right it'll fucking be on the website. The website video right now is them is what was that and it involves a golden shower. Oh I forgot about that. Yeah I didn't I didn't forget about that. Anyway. So that's I've been battling this fucking what do you call it? Gastro? Is it gastro? This morning woke up at 6.30 liquid. I sprinted to the toilet and liquid fired jet shot out of my ass and painted that bowl. Oh a light brown grayish man. It was fucked and then from 6.30 onwards just every fucking 15 minutes gone squirt some liquid shit out of my ass. It's like just it's been like nine days now of diarrhea. Have you lost weight from that? I think I'd like to think so yeah. Look at it. I reckon you have. I've splashed out with a dress for this episode. But you are like you've got a belt. Yeah I've got a belt now so I must be losing weight. Are you feeling? I'm not feeling good at all. I feel like shit man. Sorry. We're excited your boys are here. Yeah look at them all. Anyway that's shit talk for this week. Let's move right along. Let's fucking oh by the way everyone if you don't fucking know this and this is just crazy. This will change someone's life. We are running a competition where if you we're going to pick one random comment from this entire season to win a thousand dollars which means Michael that the more times that you comment the more entries into that competition you have. So you would be have to be a fucking dumb ass not to invest a little bit of time writing some comments because it's free money. Fuck off. Do you understand? If you don't want to do that that's fine maybe give us five star thing on Spotify or a like or a comment or a subscribe. Okay that's all that's all the begging I'm going to do for now. Sponsors now. Oh fucking sponsors. Go. God damn fucking manscaped dot can't. Manscaped dot com they oh my god don't even get me started about them. The boys the boys at Manscaped have got your back literally they'll shave it for you so you don't get spat on by sluts when they're fucking you. If you want to fuck hard go to manscaped.com and buy their shit use our discount code fully actual 20 for 20% off. Okay that's free from us to you go and sort your hair issues out and buy some shit from manscaped.com. You filthy pigs. Yuck they got shit that I ain't even ever seen before can't. The ball wipes? Ball wipes because you sweat profusely from your sack and it smells. And if you only get sucked off in a car next to your mate's sister go to manscaped.com and buy some ball wipes. Fuck fully actual 20 manscaped.com. It's a perfect scenario where you're with some ball wipes when it come in handy. And of course the University of Markle where we post weekly videos and to be fair that you'll never see that kind of content anywhere else. We do some wild shit Matt Brown you wouldn't know cunt. Weekly videos are like 20 minutes they're usually like half an hour long and behind the scenes of our lives and like we said there's some fucking gold shit on there cunt. There's like 215 episodes or some shit now. That's clean. We haven't missed an upload for three years. Shut up Matt. Shut up. And those are the sponsors. Oh yeah that's everything that's good. We did it all right. All right we're getting through it all right all right let's see on this day on this day on this fucking day what do we got here right. Let's see what Matt's come up with with his research. This is Matt okay Matt has come up with this and he's given it to me to now read to you guys. I have nothing to do with this. I have nothing to do with this it merely comes from my mouth. On this day four years ago I laid out a fresh meaty shit in my neighbor's front yard. It's just slugs and dung beetles attacked the creamy shit core. My neighbors have never parked me in again especially because I made them watch me take a shit. Don't fuck with me cunt there's layers to me and you don't want me to peel back my first layer cunt because my first layer is the only thing protecting you from me the real me Matt Brown. Matt just keep it normal Matt the only days just keep it like historical please. So new stories. That's disgusting. I liked it. Parked you in. No no that's respect can't I. All right now moving right along we've got Michael's Bible now okay now remember Michael fancies himself a bit of a god and he's written a Bible this is one of these excerpts from his Bible he's incredibly wise and during this segment please refer to him as Bezos instead of Jesus. Chapter 66.5 ducks can duck and swallows can swallow. Oh fuck swallows can swallow but cats can't cat fleas can flee and hairs have hair but fish can't fish animals are smarter than you think. Okay don't you think? Sorry actually not sorry. Is that it? Very very good Michael very that one doesn't really relate to my life but I can see how it's helpful. Are you guys enjoying this? We're just getting all our weird little segments out of the way and then we'll fucking yeah this if you guys haven't heard this next segment you're going to be downright disgusted. Oh yes this is this Pinocchio this next fucking segment everyone okay so the man to my left Matthew Gregory Brown has compiled all of his sexual experiences in one black book here and he has passed me this black book and I've been reading out little entries out of it every week and it's fair to say that it takes it all on me emotionally. Really? Oh yeah oh yeah I really have some vivid dreams now. What do you do it then? Thank you for that because the people want to hear man they want to hear how you got here they want to hear how the journey you got here you're a fucks cunt you were out on the fucking streets cunt you're a fucking predator cunt now you're here cunt with a baby. Now you're going to have a wife soon too. That is so true all right so as you may remember last week Matthew we left it at Matthew Brown he had to kill Gepetto because he was Gepetto was feeling up Pinocchio and Matt Brown couldn't stand for that and Gepetto is now dead but they're still inside the whale's stomach so just so you guys know what's going on and that's where we left it okay. With a baby whale? Yeah exactly not on behavior Matt Brown anyway okay excuse me boys while I get really into this Matthew Gregory Brown's black book have number 58 relax relax it was day five inside of this whale and that had a fucking gutful Pinocchio had been trying to light a fire to make the whale sneeze but it did not work I got impatient and squeezed his little fucking wooden throat please I can't breathe you promised me a way out of this whale Pinocchio just as I was deciding whether to snap Pinocchio's neck or not a giant spear exploded through the whale's stomach barely missing me the spear was so massive that it went through the entire length of the whale and stayed lodged inside the whale began to panic it swam erratically thrashing its tail throwing myself and Pinocchio around like a newborn baby's in a dryer the whale weakened and eventually I felt its heart stop beating curiously instead of sinking the whale began to rise up almost like something was reeling us in I'm so scared Matt Brown snap out of it I slapped him hard to bring him to his centers then I slapped him again because it made me feel like god we were certain the whale was out of the water now and suspended above it then the whale suddenly started falling us included after a shortfall that dropped onto a hard surface I used Pinocchio to break my fall then after a few moments a huge blade entered the stomach and began cutting along the side of the whale and the whale's inside started pouring out us included next thing I know I'm on my hands and knees crawling out of the whale's stomach and the sun is shining shining on me for the first time in five days my eyes take a second to adjust and then there standing in front of us staring or about 40 Japanese men whalers the whale we were inside had been harpooned and caught by Japanese whalers Pinocchio stood next to me shaking are they are they friendly usually not no they might think that we're green piece activists and they might kill us stay here and don't move until I tell you to you little wooden cunt Pinocchio nervously nodded and I began slowly walking towards the whalers with my hands up the whalers all took a step back and started speaking nervously amongst themselves I stopped walking hello I am Matt Brown that whale ate us please take me and my wooden sex doll home to Australia there was silence at first then one Japanese man stepped forward we can't take you to Australia but first you pay money damn it this is going to be harder than I thought I can pay you when we get to Australia now you pay now or you'll get off bird I looked back at Pinocchio the pussy was shivering like a high-speed vibrator I didn't have any money I had nothing nothing of value on me we were fucked fucked hang on fucked that's it I'll pay them in fuck it was a long shot but I could see a fair few of them checking me out already I have no money but I can pay in other ways and as I say it I undo my pants and they dropped to my feet leaving me standing there in a shirt and undies the Japanese men murmured to themselves then fell quiet what do you mean I was going to have to offer myself to them fully but first I turned to Pinocchio hey Pinocchio I want you to watch every single second of this don't you dare take your eyes away from me during this this is your fault and now I have to do this to save us Pinocchio nodded sheepishly didn't say anything and continued to weep I turned back towards the Japanese and simply dropped to my knees and slid my shirt off then I opened my mouth wide and jingled my man breasts up and down the Japanese men all looked completely shocked then suddenly the 70 or so Japanese men started sprinting in at me tearing their clothes off as they went they were all fully erected already each erects cocked hard but tiny no bigger than my than my thumb I could sense the electricity in the air from the moment I could see them they're all out at sea for months on end without even seeing a woman they have so much luck built up in them that as soon as they saw my white meaty pale reddish skin shining in the sun they became unreasonably horny I closed my eyes and prepent my mind for what was about to happen then bang a wave of naked fully erect Japanese men swarmed onto my body like a plague of bees on their queen little cocks I met against my body and worked away into my anal cavity and I relaxed my jaw as another 20 cocks fought for a spot in my mouth I was getting ripped and dragged in every direction some were biting chunks of flesh off of me I was fucked up and down thrashed around I was tossed and flung and thrown and ripped and torn and bashed I eventually stopped fighting it I went with it and arched my back and stretched my ring to allow for some more tiny cocks to drill into it I sucked that cocks deeply and eagerly and every now and then I glanced at Pinocchio to make sure he was still watching he was I maintained eye contact with him as I sucked one cock to the next moving quickly through each cock suck suck suck suck finally some of the Asian cocks started to pop little cheese strands out this motivated me and man I rolled my hips back and forth faster and fucked back at the whalers pop pop pop more cheese strands filled my ass and was smeared on my back soon enough all the little whalers had finished with me my cheese covered face stared at Pinocchio and as the last one drilled away at my ass I minced all over myself Pinocchio's face was now expressionless almost like he was dead inside I was lying on the deck covered in cheese and totally exhausted I felt quite filled and sore but actually quite enjoyed the experience my first getting a train run on me by Japanese whalers I dragged myself over to Pinocchio and as I looked into his bloodshot eyes it looked like his soul was dead we got to Australia now said one of the Japanese whalers thank you boys I say and exhausted I pass out man that's like yeah if that happened to you man that's like so sad oh fuck that you had to do that I'm sorry man I'm sorry you had to go through that kumbaya baby you'll love her dude you'll love her she'll you'll love her when you marry possible you already do love her we're back by the way we're back after that bomb break this is gonna get awkward all right no it's humming that's the worst bit all right guys let's let's let's quickly do the screaming segment guys we're gonna do the screaming segment and this is where we call any random business and scream as soon as they answer the phone and we see how long they stay on the phone for if they stay on the phone for one minute then we have to say to them you win this round yeah and there will be official screaming segment champions did last week last week was quick last week was very quick yeah all right let's let who should we prank call um I reckon let's call um what about I don't know sorry what about a hotel you'll be able to hear the person hello are you okay close to a minute that was like fucking for in the 50s oh my god what was the time it was like I think it took him about 10 seconds to answer I forgot to use an actual timer but it was at about a minute and five seconds I was going to say the saying five seconds later oh five seconds off very very close very very good we're getting them what about the first sentence yeah are you okay yeah are you okay yeah it's just someone screaming I heard someone say oh is that illegal oh man is that is me doing that illegal surely not no way you look so happy in your non ergonomics chair this is a one off very good a one off I haven't felt more comfortable like the ergonomics chair is really good but this is quite nice yeah Matt it's a special treat it's not on sorry it's not on brother all right so we've done the screaming segment now it's time for bachelor brown yeah if you want I'm some oh I want I want bachelor brown will be oh all right guys it is time for bachelor brown bachelor brown bachelor brown he's right behind you he's right fucking behind you first man brown and this is a segment where Michael and I we go out into the streets and we find potential partners from you didn't even find this one and we call them and set up a phone date for him every week a new a new woman and he's talking to some he's been on dates with some it's working are you still talking to the guy from last week isla which is everyone's helped with with isla are you still talking isla I've messaged a couple of times how often do you guys talk nothing we just send funny things have you signed up to our only fans you have he fucking has you fucking have you fucking have all right I thought you pulled his knife out yeah so I wish I did hey I wish I did no I'm not going to sign up to her only what about um the English one yeah the other one I haven't signed up to her only fans no no but are you talking to her yeah me and her get along pretty well but we're just been talking about random shit yeah so yeah that's what you do when you first start to get to know someone yeah but she's in England yeah I know look there's distance there but if it's meant to be it's meant to be and bachelor brown brown brown he has been calm and charismatic during these I'm nervous with this one he's been so confident I don't know and just been shining absolute where's this one from yeah see there's no background gold coast Kazakhstan that's close she's from Kazakhstan but she's in the gold coast I don't know where she's from that's right let's not speculate you can ask her your fucking self okay it's a normal question does she actually oh just anyway so Michael like I said Michael and I we found another eligible bachelor for Matt Brown just to speak to okay Matt as soon as we call we'll leave it to you pretend like we're not even here will might give drop some little hints here and there you will you won't even know the way do drop hints all right here we don't be quiet that's the problem all right here we go we'll help we will be a bit quiet this time it's really oh my god it's ringing man don't fuck this up the fuck he'd look at Austin's reaction don't fuck this up Austin's fucking throw me under the bus hard to get on this one she's not gonna answer I win oh damn oh all right because look she might yoga class we'll table bachelor brown for now we might we might come back to it brown it is our responsibility oh she's all right sweet all right let's fucking out of it yes she's calling I'm lucky me still brown brown brown she could be one that you marry no she's not because there's just I can't I can't trust you show me a click oh very very oh mine's a wicked shit man get in there lock it in lock it in all right here we go all right we got the green light Austin set it up he's her pimp I don't like the way your reaction was when I first started ringing you guys can't hear all right here we go Matt hey get in the fucking zone hey is this um Bridget hey yeah it is yeah it's uh Marty and Michael here and you are on the world's biggest and best podcast or some shit fully actual and sitting with us we have a very eligible single man in his late or early 40s let's say early 40s fucking 35 he sits on strange chairs and and you know he's single at the moment but he's not a bad guy and we've just want to give him the opportunity to just see talk to you Bridget and just get to know you a little bit and maybe see if there's some potential there for like something future something future you two two together you know what I'm saying yeah um sure well he could always slide into a dam we love sliding into dams sliding into dams anyway well throw it over to Matt and don't worry he'll carry the conversation he's very good at this just relax and let him do all of the heavy lifting try and kiss it straight up kiss her surprise her with a kiss something Bridget what are you doing coming on this what were you thinking well you know I've been looking for um look for a decent guy you know and I was given the opportunities to take this phone call and you guys have just kind of thrown one in my lap so I thought why the fuck not oh I feel I feel like you've been forced to come on straight up kiss her right now change your fucking subject mate talk to her about something with substance I where are you from yeah that's this shit um where about some of the Gold Coast you're from he's been caught he's been caught out trying to locate her address oh god don't ask for her address on the second get to know her brain get to know who she is there's a person Matt Brown Bridget ask her what her favorite color is yeah what's your favorite color oh it's so boring though uh my favorite color would have to be baby blue he's actually holding a blue baby right now that is a mystic sign yeah wow that is shit wow a baby blue baby would you say she's top three now Matt maybe I don't know what tell her tell her your hobbies tell Bridget what your hobbies are and we're actually doesn't matter about me Bridget what are your hobbies what are my hobbies yeah what do you like to do for fun hmm I have a good question um I like to party I'm pretty good at it oh Matt loves it um like my love I love your party so if you have a yacht that'll be mad oh okay you was talking about maybe buying a yacht in like 50 years yeah I'll see that's not good um um I love watching tv and I'm a mad donor oh brown right you love tv as well yeah tv and you could get into i have a tv you could get into weed yeah that's all right things are going well what's your favorite tv show well right now watching supernatural okay what do you have to can you do you know any like bits of trivia about that show or something come on impress her impress her here Matt here's your chance here's your chance there's their brothers fucked it and their dad dies and they're trying to I don't know something like that one of the league guys name something I can't remember Bridget can you see a future with Matt Brown oh she's never even seen me why does that matter Brown she's been forced haven't you ever seen the show blind love where there's a fucking war between them and they get to know each other oh it never works out nah it does it does far better than the looking of the instagrams all right so I say I say you to exchange phone numbers right no no and then you text each other first without even looking at each other's instagram for maybe I'm gonna say two months get to know each other you're gonna have to change yourself to meet that need um Bridget um now what do I usually ask lean in for a kiss Matt now don't kiss Matt don't kiss um Bridget how old are you I am at 24 okay guess how old Matt Brown is I'm a little bit older than you I'm 35 35 35 so yeah and that is a little bit of an age that means you have more money that's fine my brown my he's strangling that baby on his chest brown brown my brown Bridget thank you so much for coming on um look I'm gonna give Matt your instagram is that okay so if you get a if you get a dm if you get a dm from Matt Brown 1111 I know the first dm will probably be what is your location but he's gonna message you and um yeah look let's see what happens here if by the way the final the top three girls that Matt has no we're not doing this this season we're not gonna do this they got a private jet to brisman and all expenses paid staying in a five star hotel the best hotel in brisman something like that awesome yeah so so you know if you can yeah so if you can charm him enough and you make that top three you know at the very least it's a it's you've made a great friend and you've and you've you've gotten yourself a lovely evening paid for anyway Bridget thanks so much for coming on and thank you for coming on Bridget lean in for a kiss lean in for a kiss Matt it Matt's kissing the microphone oh he was kissing as well like did you hear that so they pretty much just hooked up the first day and you don't even know what she looks like she doesn't have any arms and that all came from a hiss she has no arms Matt so how do you feel now that's all right i'll go no yeah i bet you would easier to to handle aren't they ah easier to round up you just put them a bit on one shoulder and they can't balance themselves you're fucking top heavy and they stumble around they're falling they've got nothing to break their forewith they have to accept it accept with it oh she sounded nice yeah well she's not Matt sounded like a lovely person she's was she speciale clef fishing in it what have you set me up here with because i'm um no she's she was at um she was at Jackson's parties what's stuff Bridget yeah Bridget no idea yeah anyway that is bachelor brown um so if you want to thank us Matt feel free that's the end of that for us you're welcome you're so welcome all right guys moving right along and now we are going to go with the lying to Lachlan oh she'll bring the boys on yeah yeah that's what i mean i'm gonna introduce them at the same time and playing along this week to help us lie to Lachie it's going to be Jaden and Austin so the boys are going to come on over and then we're going to call Lachie and lie to that fucking little gullible fuck we're gonna get you all right guys welcome to the set Jaden and Austin come on over boys how do we want to set this up um yeah chuck them on chuck them on it just makes things easier to hear you see that yeah cheers mate it's crystal it's crystal clear sorry yeah all right here we have the boys look we haven't had guests on it for so long it's so strange that they're not Matt there probably we have four mics yeah we're excited we're going up get out of the shot Matt all right boys now we'll have a chat to you after this but it's very important that we lie to Lachlan this week he's not gonna suspect that you he doesn't know you guys are here great idea so what so this is what so Jaden just so you understand okay so you'll call locking be like oh hey man do you have Nigel months can I just get Nigel months number off you is that okay yeah and then if he asks oh yeah sure what for then you can say oh it's just Austin's like it's just some legal issues with his recent back injuries and I reckon we chuck we chuck that when he asked how is Dubai you say dim got Lyme's disease yeah what's that what's that it's just like this disease he can't live properly anymore double but like only only say that if he asks how is he really yeah does he actually have one he's a weird do he live line oh he just left without saying goodbye that's oh yeah it's because of his lines does it make you lead liming sorry he's coughing up limes outside I think that's what that is I reckon he'll fall for it yeah and then as soon as he's like oh really like agrees to anything that you've said that's when we all come in like you fucking idiot you've been lied to you've been lied to and then just hook in and then we're gonna try and hurt you come in as soon as he like yeah we've got you idiot really doesn't ask what do you need it um yeah yeah whatever I'll send it to yeah okay oh then then be like then just oh hey do you want to know what happened just say that over and over again yeah yeah and if you ask how Dubai was yeah just say it was like something it was shit yeah I'll make a natural at the start yeah yeah do I call oh yeah I'm putting another lie we can add in on this to take it really far yeah yeah so put it in and just hold the phone up to the mic and then we can all fucking fucking throw in the fact that what's something else that you can go really far with it if he catches both of those let's think big here let's say that you've found out how to go back in time okay yeah okay fuck it I don't know if it'll work but yeah that's after what a one successful let's get him let's go let's get him hooked on a lot bigger I reckon that you I fucking you've been getting scratches on your back from ghosts at night so you wake up in the morning and the scratches on your back well let's let's let's let's let's get the wind first though with a little lie this is what's been happening at night there's nothing there oh I see all right so let's get him with a little lie and then we'll let you keep going and make it a bit bigger and then if he catches on them we'll fucking come in fucking fucking lucky oh bros what's been happening I just cruising I just cruising what are you up to oh true oh is this God's birthday oh yes so you tell him I said happy birthday um just uh just a quick one then I won't keep you too long um do you have Nigel's number yeah oh yeah do you reckon I could have it nah fucking I'll see he's having some problems with fucking Xiaomi and his back problem so yeah a bit of legal issues yeah yeah he does that stuff oh perfect Austin said that he couldn't return to work you can make so much money because when you have in super superannuation um there's like an insurance on it and if you can't continue to contribute to your superannuation you get like a huge payout like fucking oh get fucked a couple hundred thousand dollars but you have to like obviously broke his fucking thing but if he can't like continue to do his job anymore there's like an insurance on your superannuation like people don't know about true fuck so this could be a big one dude yeah yeah definitely fuck that's hectic yeah right all right send that through um yeah sweet cheers um that was not the second line was it actually crashed by a penguin wasn't talking about talking about to buy how was to buy anyway because um dim came back with Lyme's disease no wait on a real no you know dim i know i actually wanted to tell you something serious do you want to know or no nah like on a serious night dim came back from avidavi with Lyme's disease nah like dead set bro dead set this is where he just goes black like he means nothing yeah Lyme's Lyme's that's just how it happens man we'll always be lying to you you won't ever know until the lie is complete can't that was a very good one i did not expect that bro you full started going deep into it you're like man you could get so much better i think you're fucking rich oh oh very good anyway sorry for wasting your time again can't i know oh so fucking well done yeah that was very good well done yeah he fully believed that immediately we can we use other people to lie yeah that's what we need to do moving forward matt tries nah he'll know matt he'll have to be can't even be james we'll literally have to contact his dad if we could get let's contact his dad to lie to him iila oh yeah yeah or jackson yeah we'll get them to call and record yeah anyway it's gonna be great anyway look at who we have everyone it's jaden and austin everyone holy shit what the fuck we have guests on our show haha what's been going on my friends fuck we don't work together yeah so what's what are your days consist of now jaden you got the fucking where are them can you bring over the meals mattie i'm like that's all i had in the fridge left a but yeah macro kitchen just like online food how's that going if is it fucking gone i've had them they're delicious yeah they are very good every guy yeah so macro kitchen so what if people want to get like what just their meals prepared for them yeah yeah they're pretty health specific there's a few like um unhealthy ones but we're actually about to launch another one i can't say the name yet but we're doing another one which will be a lot more exciting okay fuck yeah but now yeah it's good let's get around it um so what macro kitchen dot com dot au yeah okay fuck yeah there you go if you want some homemade healthy meals handmade by jaden himself every day macro kitchen dot com dot au and what about you fucking awesome you had your fucking back i fucked up snapped i fucked oh yes yeah do you talk us through that that would have been did you know straight away something was wrong yeah because i saw it straight away did you hear sounds i was underwater oh man i just watched it and like and we've screen recorded it and put it on our website so if you want to watch it it's on our way it was so hard to watch especially because after because you know your back's broken and you're like walking around and she needs to just fucking sit down and so did they say that did more damage nah could have gone to the hospital they started blowing up at me because i said no to an ambulance i was like get my mate to drive me there and everything and they're like that's the worst thing you could possibly do and i was like oh fuck true oh so what was it exactly like a vertebra i'm like herniated discs and everything it was fucked it was bad it was like 10 out 10 pain maybe not for you guys but for me 10 out of 10 oh no back shit's fucked no yeah it's breathing afterwards that really yeah like his breath was taken it felt like someone was just stabbing me with knives in the back it was hectic oh man that was oh fuck it's so bad you're just walking around trying to walk it off a bit oh yeah it was rough it was rough to watch yeah but the recovery wasn't too bad it was only like five weeks i was out no longer like seven eight what does that mean like lying down i've been back at work for like three or four weeks oh wow and what so you had to just lie down yeah i just literally bro i was laying in hospital i was laying in hospital they couldn't do an MRI on me for like a day and a half so i was just lying here like this looking up at the seer but i'm not allowed to move a fucking muscle so you can't even watch tv no i couldn't do anything because i oh my god fuck whoa meter piss they had to log roll me onto the side nurses had to hold my fucking the cup over my car oh that would have been so embarrassing because you would have been not right like a motherfucker your dick would have been small my dick would have been so tiny just because you're in pain and your dick goes small when you're in pain that's it all the blood's redirected around the cup you want how many days was it like that oh until i got my MRI so a day and a half and then i was allowed to move my neck my neck was cleared but it's pretty oh but i'm sweet now and so what now you're back to normal yeah go to europe next weekend so you don't know you say you literally a hundred percent recovery yeah oh close i wouldn't say i still do that yeah i can move fuck how much would it cost for us to like pay you to do that again i know i attempt to do a backhand on the couch i remember i've been on bender's with you and you have just pulled out backflip oh yeah it's because no it's because of justians oh yeah just it oh no it's because of him but he goes up and just nails the backflip and then in my head i go i can fucking do that yeah it does look easy so i've just copied him and just oh do the right rotation dude you could have done the same thing oh man i reckon that was worse than the fucking jump i'm so yeah i think i'm a lesson i think i'm done nah that's not lucky surely don't give up it's so close you want a thing i'll give it 10 backflips are done yeah fucking hell man that was there hectic as shit that was some like even even just seeing how deep the water was is that one of those things you look back and go i can't believe it was so fucking yeah and like three people went before me and they're like oh fuck it's real shallow yeah and i've just oh so much confidence going into a bite oh yeah dude i was so confident did you ever think you might land on your head not once that was the problem what did you think you were gonna fully nail that if you had a bit more height you probably would have gotten close just fucking more rotation or something yeah just didn't try anything lesson like that's a good lesson like yeah yeah i don't know how you guys got out of fucking well we've we've dialed it back a bit like well the nail gun thing we look back and crumbles like that that was that's over because that hits your spine you'll do yeah i thought of that for some reason like insane and like one went in between our heads and we didn't get told that until after a film was like one of the nails like just went we're standing shoulder to shoulder one of the nails went in between our heads oh man oh fuck you would have died if i don't know it depends where it was probably would have taken an ear off it went this far into my car imagine the bug in the neck oh fuck fuck oh no you just see the end of it come out of the you're fucking adam's apple can't oh man really yeah great great work so you're gonna do any of the social media shit anymore because you guys you guys are going to you're going to europe as well i'm not i'm not going but yeah what country are you going to first um we're going to bust a lot of first oh wow it's beautiful have you been to europe yet no yeah man you're gonna have a good time i'm fucking cano yeah fuck there's so many like there's so many sketchy sketchy drug dealers like on every corner and yeah no that's what i know every alleyway yeah and oh come here man yeah and always listen to them our advice is always listen to them well how old are you now austin 25 now yeah wow so like europe here you come the first time you go into europe right yeah yeah how long are you guys doing a month a month but we might stay longer fuck we probably will stay longer didn't you almost die anytime that's yeah that's what i'm worried about hey yeah well we were all so dumb back then but yeah we got arrested we're not too smart either though yeah that's true the spine he fucked his spine but these guns back in there yeah true i still remember those benders at san simion oh wow wow i got so silly oh yeah dude that was the very first day i met you is and he's just am i saying yeah the very first time i met you he's brought that big bag of md yeah and we just bend it in brisket oh that's right first house yeah oh that's right yeah yeah yeah that would but that's still we got hammered drums yeah and like played pool for ages it turned into like remember jishan's shoe shop opening and you walking down the stairs in your fucking undies and there's like everyone's family there that's right and he's doing that dance man we almost missed it oh yeah because we passed out and then perot just came like banging on the door and woke us all up like half hour late oh that's right yeah because the night before we were fucked as well oh my god yeah the the new years the eve parties at charmys were so fun those fucking two my god he was just ripping his clothes off and he just had a little bit of undies every time i stepped a stepped forward you could see my dick and ball and i had so many people like being so disgust because no one really knew who we were at that stage and people were full of like family friends whole family was there mum dad friends for like 30 years flashing my dick every step forward i take and people just looking at me shaking their heads and like oh is that that guy with a dick out i remember just i literally just being so munted at some points in the night and then i'd look over and see you amongst this group everyone's just normal and you're just in this tattered rag fuck me dude oh wow and by the morning time with especially with the md nights man he would just be he would just Michael would just yeah there's no talking to him it just some say random sentences and then piss himself yeah i was about to say drink it every no every time we walk outside like the next morning there'd be a mattress just laying in the sun with a massive i'm not going to be lying on it with a tallie in his fist oh yeah i remember one time i actually like pissed on the mattress outside and passed out and i got so sunburnt like my whole back like you could pull sheets off who is the one next to kalosh yeah the one next to kalosh you piss next to him and he woke up dred and you get away and he woke up going fuck it's hot hey i'm sweaty ass sweaty ass oh no and then when he found out he was what was he like he's got skin to him he's like the last person you want to piss on yeah fucking else so social media right yeah fun what's the plan what do you what do you like what do you want to where are you going to be in five years often like you're just going to keep fucking because like well look at the you're the like the fun you guys have and man it's pretty fun yeah like now that we're traveling as well like it's fucking sick yeah but like i remember yeah at that age it's so fun and then you get to your late 20s in your early 30s and it quickly turns into a fucking problem yeah it's already becoming a problem yeah yeah so like so you have no have more we always have too much fun it is a lot of fun hey fucking wild shit let's get fucked up yeah oh matt brown very agile to get through there very good and we're back we're talking about we were smashing bong after bong after bong there was a time when michael pissed himself next to me and he had a morning glory so his piss was angled up so like his dick was angled up towards me and piss will have my chest and upper body i've been pissed on by michael maybe 10 times maybe 10 times sorry dude every time we drank there would be piss on me the next morning oh come on have a party yes so we'll come and be pissed on do you remember the time that you banged on your door oh that was fucked one time michael had fucking passed out up at the penthouse where we used to live and i was just banging on the door like for fucking half an hour because he was passed out on the bed and i knew he would have fucking pissed but he was wearing an adult knife an adult diaper so i was like oh surely it'll be okay banging about all the neighbors coming out is everything all right and i was like yes i just need to get into my fucking room and finally fuck it wakes up comes to the door his diaper is overflowing with urine and i looked at the bed and there's piss like he's just may as well have not worn a diaper there needs to be an adult diaper though on a seriously on a serious note they need to make a better adult diaper because that would did nothing can't yeah well it's for poos i think yeah but like even because i've been wearing one to bed because i haven't wanted to shit the bed because i shit the bed last week because of my diarrhea because i've been wearing one every now and then i feel a bit queasy and i put one on and like i don't feel it offers much protection if there's a squirt while i'm sleeping that'll see about the sides for sure can't yeah well like piss it was never ever meant to stop well it's only recent that i've never worn an adult diaper like out of like like because i need to it's the first time but yeah i reckon like what do they look like they're just like like normal diapers but just bigger they need like they need to be more like undies so they catch the stuff out the sides should have invested in it like a mattress protector yeah i can't believe we're talking anyway sorry about that we've got a bit off track fucking jaden and austin come how's your love life boys how's how's how's um how's that going you just slam and slags no we're good boys oh thank you sorry about that all right well i guess we'll move on to um some questions or a fuck comment of the week this week can have a fucking week off can be fucked explaining it um all right so this is we're going to answer some questions that you guys have commented on the muddy muggle for the actual youtube channel and that we answer the most liked questions first okay so if you want us to answer your question comment a question and have a scroll through and like some of the other questions that you want us to answer can't comment lots of comments oh we love comments don't we yeah anyway so you ready sorry um rule sorry top question went to joe how do i say that i'm really bad with the names uh jar and kingston um and his question was um can we get a bachelor woods after we finish with a bachelor brown oh with julien i feel like julien i don't think julien would do it i think if we gave that much opportunity to julien he'd probably end up in jail he'd get arrested for something i don't know what yet but he would get arrested for something so probably not maybe in like 10 years time when he's when he's settled down a little bit maybe maybe then we will take up that job we take it very seriously we'd really want matt to stop being so lonely and sad we're good at it we're so good at it you found the one i reckon oh actually i'm gonna go oh no no i was meant i was meant to say this the other day um uh a bird messaged me out of the blue and she's she watches the podcast and she's not she's all right i've been chatting to her and um and she like she wants to come up and like meet me and i was like oh get her on the let's get uh dude you like you like that she doesn't want to come on the podcast but um i mentioned that i mentioned oh i said why don't you just go on the bachelor brown it'd be funny she has not i'm too scared yeah there'd be so many scared bitches out there so i think that's your fault and especially after you're the reading some black book yes entries you do it straight after you talk about a yeah you're right we should maybe try and separate those a little bit that's a good tactic anyway um next question is from persius minus is loose um marty can you describe what it's like to wake up sweating in the freezing cold of 4m covered in wet shit it was uh yeah it was it was i came to and then like i felt just remember feeling like cold really cold and then like i pull the blanket back a bit and i'm drenched in sweat my upper body and then i'm like fuck sake i gotta go have a shower pull the blanket off and oh there is just shit in all in my fucking undies and stuff there's just shit has everywhere i've shut the bed thank you michael thank you michael i just want some in bali someone else really i haven't actually pissed about it i've never pissed a bed though sure that'd be way more wondering everyone yeah yeah no i've shut the bed six or seven times it's doable once you start yeah it's happened like really when you're sober or only when you not only when i drink yeah true but like i reckon henry got into it for a bit a friend of mine once i started he started getting into it but then he grew out of it but he's still around like you know 20 well you haven't you've what you've done it once in like two years i mean like i can try i can try yeah and like you don't need to be asleep just stand on your own piss it yeah yeah i'm not that keen but i yeah no it's not good and then fucking yeah there's shit everywhere and then i'm so cold in brisman at the moment so i was literally so hard to take a step forward because my body was shaking so violently waiting you had a warm shower no just wiped my ass and slept on the couch what did mon say yeah she was like get out well no mon wasn't there oh she wasn't there thank god thank god yeah last week i've been i mean guts have been all fucking gapped up come all right next question is from dun donian dun donian depending where they're from um when are you guys going to do the uh when when do alien do aliens exist experiment so when are we going to go out searching for aliens isn't that like in talking about what we say we said we're going to do it next week but we're not going to do it probably going to be in like not next week five week or next not next week the week after i reckon four weeks two weeks i want to say two weeks we're just going to go to where this documentary was filmed australian skies and we're going to fucking camp out and see if we can find ourselves some fucking aliens come your boys are welcome to come oh you'll be in bloody europe slam and prostitutes but jane you can come if you want man bring some of your fucking meals can't we'll throw them on the fire oh yeah you could feed us all we'll give some to the aliens can't we get intergalactic marketing oh man our camping trip i still think about that like we got some fucking funny videos out of that what we did yeah poor shami if i get if we were too fucking hungover to film me cut us because i wanted to get eaves of content and we just got fucked yeah we got so slam we just kicked every single window remember that guy the guy the next morning kept coming to like wanted to box me come on big boy come on big boy i'm like man fuck off i've slept like two hours really yeah remember what did that happen i don't know is he goes into boxing it's like real into boxing oh i thought like he was angry at us no no it's just like like yeah i don't know what that was like fucking dick showing competition oh man but yeah that was a fucking wild camp night man those asians and you just kept walking and no one is safe yeah that's right i can't believe they stuck around for that long they made the fire for us two or three of the most innocent little age it's not so yeah yeah that is like the perfect scenario that's what we get warned about don't don't like especially one of them saying that they're not safe don't follow us it's really you chew them away because you just want to like get even more slammed yeah i lost three windows out of the four my car was ruined in the morning i was like what happened to my car i remember at one point i was rolling a joint in the car and i just like had this wine bottle shattered through the back window and glass goes everywhere through the car but i'm like oh my god i just could not believe you're sitting in the car like he's wanting to ask me to the car when i'm sitting fucking peg a wine bottle through the back oh man this was in the back of your car and so he just you're in the back of the car i was just floored it oh my god for god's sake everywhere he's in the back in the back window that you the window you're broken oh he's just pissing in there every time every time he went to piss too yeah it's like fucking open fields everywhere but we trust to piss in the car i've heard a lot about that just kick in the door oh we did some cow chasing oh i wish i wonder if i still got those videos that was funny that is a funny idea they're scary though when you end up getting close to there's no way you can get here so by something hilarious about watching a fully grown man sprinting after cows or any animal michael fully shoot them across the road and shit into neighboring paddocks it's my favorite animal yeah yeah i think about it i don't know if they're kind of cute all right next question from gavin s if you guys were to dispose of a human body how would you guys do it how would you hide the evidence i think i'd um get a a drum and i would um put the body in and i'd burn the fucking thing i'd burn it and then once it was ashes i'd snort the ashes come i'd fucking cut one fucking kilogram of cocaine with those fucking ashes can't and i'd sell a prick on the streets the dna would be everyone's body in everyone's body okay in everyone's body and boom the perfect crime but they'd get back to you like probably making the coke no no because i i outsource that i know i can't okay that's cool i just got to front the money but that's it can't is that darin yeah yeah darin's come out sorry um how would you boys kill the best way to kill someone and just hide someone probably just in the ocean wouldn't it yeah it's not bad just go out i guess it's very mafia of you drop them down oh true with some bricks or something yeah i'll try even just a river yeah a river yeah i'll put them on a concrete slab oh yeah oh wow tight so you see one which one's booked in go after the dress i'd worry that the concrete would crackle something sorry um yeah he's booked yeah oh dude that's so much sense perfect person to ask that question to yeah there's a hundred percent success rate anyway sorry sorry oh sorry um all right next question from daemon odwire um how is matt allowed in the facebook group chat for the website if he isn't even a subscribing yeah i know i i added him to the group because so many members talk about him i don't want him to see and i thought you know what since i've done such a nice gesture for my friend maybe he might sign up to our website our life's work speaking of website we've come brown ideas brown idea we've got a set of videos to do instead of i am taking the day off work instead of blackjack brown jack what happens no you'll see come it's like casino we're being casino yeah no brown jack understand it sounds nice sort of something's off about that but yeah we'll be gambling which is cool sort of no no that's sick man okay um yeah there wasn't much in uh questions today um all right well since you guys are thinking how about this what would you rather what would you rather would you rather look like such a redneck stoner can't yeah i feel like in character with the green and green out fucking getting fisheries family shrimp he's been out shrimping right goes with that hair too yeah it looks good yeah actually rate it thank you looks good would you rather bite your fingers off you have to bite them off you've only got 10 minutes to do it so it's one finger per minute yep all 10 fingers all 10 all 10 one a minute do you have to chew and swallow the fingers no they just got a bottom oh my god actually bite your finger and see how fuck that is oh you'd have to just make your teeth i don't think you could do it oh yeah you're right it'd be too hard to break to bite through or would you rather um be deaf and blind for the rest of your life fuck i'm biting my fucking fingers off yeah kind of have to imagine if you get one or two done then you realize you can't do it the pain kicks in and it's like i can't deaf and blind deaf and blind is rough you'd have touch you could just sort of like get you can be with shape feel your way through life and taste it tends to taste to be outrageous become like a chef man you become a restaurant no one could talk to you or the like look at you though you wouldn't know where you are no you just get fed heaps and you're the like the restaurant deaf and blind yeah so you wouldn't even be able to comprehend what's happening people would just be putting food in your mouth and you'd be like and you just you yell out sounds of flavors that you like and people write it down and it gets like that would disrupt the other eaters no but that's yeah okay all right we'll think about it you'd get good at your taste if you didn't have your sight or your hearing yeah that is so true so let's do it all right let's do it all right well fuck it let's just do the prank call and just see what happens right oh and a garlic bread and a drink right yeah hello tell you um look i'm just yeah not too bad thanks um i'm just trying to order online um and i'm putting in the the voucher code here and it's it's coming up saying that it's an incorrect code and i'm and i'm and i'm trying like i've tried three or four times it's definitely the code that's written on the voucher in front of me and it's just not seeming to go through so i'm just wondering um what the go is there yeah the code for so it's for two large pizzas right um it's it's got a garlic bread and a drink there yeah yeah yeah what was the code that one okay let me just dig get it out in front of me um yeah so yeah so five three five yep three five and it's just not coming up and i've put it in over and over again and um to be honest you know i don't really have time to uh be you know calling about calling store after store i'm just sort of after some dinner for my for my family yeah yeah i guess that yeah yeah it's quite frustrating yeah right the issue is that instead of there being five numbers that should be six yeah that is so confusing because the piece piece of paper that's in front of me actually has five numbers on it so i'm just confused um yeah i'm just it's just it's just confusing uh to say the least um darling and and maybe uh we could just apply the uh voucher discount anyway since i'm looking at the voucher in front of me right so unfortunately we're not going to be able to put that through just what do you mean darling i've got the voucher right in front of me yeah i'm supporting small business delivery it's for pick up darling yeah pick up so that's two pieces of garlic bread and drink to pick up yeah that's correct yeah all right so i have one here for twenty six dollars that's that's correct no i'm sorry mine says nineteen nineteen ninety nine so yeah i'm not sure when like i wouldn't have even bothered coming to dominoes if i'd have known that your vouchers aren't even valid um yeah so unfortunately just i don't know why there's five dollars in that code that's a code it's very confusing yeah i don't really know what's going on here darling but i'm quite confused about that too i have no idea whether there's a five dollar voucher code but we've never had uh not dollar sorry a five number that's code we've never had that it hasn't been that's true let's put through though right yeah right yeah look listen so you're telling me right then i'm not going to get the voucher discount on my meals at night i'm gonna put you on the manager that would be great i'd love to speak to the manager unbelievable sit down darling it's okay mommy's just upset mommy's upset hello can you hear me dying hey it's from the other guy yes i'm not too bad look we're having a bit of a disagreement here um look i'm reading out the voucher code okay it says two large pizzas a garlic bread and a drink for 1919 and i'm reading out the code and your employees are telling me that that is the incorrect code and that i'm no longer allowed to have that discount so yeah it's a little frustrating mate yeah yeah so what's the code or not yes a five five three one five yeah three one five yeah yeah so it should be a six digit code if it's a domino's code that's that's exactly what your employee said but i'm look look listen mate i'm looking at the the piece of paper in front of me and i can see that there's clearly five we should have said there was a sixth number um yeah the ones here have five but then i found other ones i got six so it doesn't matter what's done he's done let them think let them think that happened for real oh she laughed and handed over was she laughing or like i'm so i couldn't tell she was a bitch oh no take that back all dominoes employees use special place now i can't tell we love you we love you guys all right guys that is the end of episode number 22 thank you very much jaden and awesome for coming on the best podcast in the fucking world boys we got fucking stone can't hey would you rather listen to blue dabbadidabadai or i'm a genie in a bottle by christine aguilera for the rest of your life on repeat do dabbadidi i reckon you'd go insane after two weeks i reckon genie in a bottle would probably send you insane too no i reckon um because um that song is already repetitive blue dabbadidabadai you could fucking just be like all right i'm just gonna have that is my mantra but like genie in a bottle would send you insane no no you'd be like sexy you'd walk with sex appeal hell yeah it'd get a bit strange though imagine when you get to like your 50s and 60s and 70s doing that genie in a bottle always be whistling it anyway um sorry thank you for watching don't forget to like comment subscribe five star review and all that shit and do everything that we say because we're the best we're the best we're the fucking best we're the fucking best we're the best oh my god we're the best we're the really really really really really really best