 And I would go from that cafe to a jazz bar and from the jazz bar would go for a walk along the beach Right, right try to like we walk to like the quiet end of the beach where it's all you know in shadow and stuff And it's kind of romantic because it's good here the waves lapping and see the city lights and stuff And then I try to make out whether that was the game plan So in the beginning this date was a little lumpy and go on this date And I'd realize I got the timing all wrong was supposed to be a two-hour date We met at 8 p.m. And on a school night. I wasn't at school of course at this point in time But I call it a school night. So we're out there and you know We're a dinner for one hour and 20 minutes and then the bar for an hour and then it's already 10 20 And we both have to go to work in the morning. So no make-out sessions for Damien You know lots of little bumpy clunky little bits like that. So I refined it piece by piece and it ended up with a date They got really really good results Became a system and I could just repeat that system that same first date over and over and over So to give you an idea as I as I refine this date here with the statistics because I love my numbers after One of these dates and we'd end on a make-out after this date 91 percent agreed to dinner and move it my place for a second date Yes, read into that dinner in a movie at my place of those who would have them for a dinner in a movie at my place 89% of those dates would end in sex Now I'll tell you something that date structure is not awesome I've by by by watching clients that I've worked with over the years Evolved their own dating first dates Wow, there is so much more than you can do with a date than that kind of boring series of events But by systemized by creating a system that I could repeat I Could get the results and I could get consistent results over and over and over again I didn't have to think anymore. Where am I gonna go? What am I gonna do on this date? What's gonna happen crap? And have to do that any more You see Who would be surprised if someone came up to me today? Imagine one of you came up to me He said Damian, you know, I didn't know you're about your business in Australia. Yeah, tell me about it. How's it going? And I said it's going good and You said to me Cool, how many how many how many clients you usually work with a month? I'm not sure a couple few He said awesome, you know, how many you know, how how how when you run an event How many guys generally come to an event of yours are quite a few. Yeah, how many I'm not sure on the exact numbers Would you expect my business is gonna go well in the future? No, of course not so obvious when it's business. It's not so obvious when Stating pick up. We don't think how important that is But I do want to make a note not everything can be systemized I do want to make this clear If I'm out in this date, I cannot have the same conversation with every single girl You can't systemize that Because at the end of the day, you still have to be able to be charming. You cannot script that stuff You're not script. How are you gonna make a girl laugh? You're not script. How are you gonna build rapport? These are skill sets that you need to build But the overall process is something that you can systemize You can imagine if I sit down with a client With someone who's interested to sign up with me someone gives me a call and they say Damian. I'd love to work with you Cool. Let's have a chat. Let's have a have a coffee. I sit down with them Do you think that I sit down with these people these guys and just and just think to myself? well, I'll just kind of sit here and I'll be cool and answer any question. It's got and hopefully I'll get a sale Think that's how it's done No, it's what I do is I understand I need to take that person through a journey If you have who who is bought a car before or a TV or something that are really excited about yes Awesome when you went to buy that. Did you not want that salesperson to get you excited about that product? Yes You and you want to buy something that excites you yes You want it and also part of you is scared of spending the money You want that person to solve all of your apprehension and make you feel a hundred percent good about that purchase So when I meet with a client, I have a system in my head. I Know when I sit down with a client Well, I need to the first thing I need to do is I need to make them I need to laugh with them I need a tea I need to be a bit playful and joke around with them Why because that relaxes them laughing releases tension and they chill out and when they relax and they laugh with me They're more open to me So when I then go next to start asking about them and their lives and where they're struggling with they're more open to sharing with me And I have to I know it was part of my system I have to be genuinely interested to learn about them because we'll only open up to people who are genuinely interested in us So as you can see I have to go on a journey from there. What am I going to do? I'm going to talk about well This is what I do and this is how this is exactly going to help the area. We're struggling with most and And so on and so forth. There's a system that I follow. Okay, who is in control of that interaction? Do you think at all times? Yeah, in this case me someone comes to me they're interested about me and what I do in this case on the salesman Yeah, absolutely, and the same should be the case for every interaction that you guys have with women You should be the one who's in control you should have in your minds a system That you follow Let me give you an idea of a system a system could work like this You can approach a girl and the first thing you're gonna do is teaser and then you're gonna build rapport You know teaser again, and then you're gonna sexually escalate and you can ask for a number You can write this system down if you like it's a system I'm not saying this is the only way to attract women because that'd be crap But this is a system and it's probably ten times better than anything you guys are doing right now Because I one thing I know is most guys have no strategy at all So a strategy is better than no strategy, but a strategy that's yours that you've worked on That's the best strategy of all, but imagine this is my perfect strategy for a second I can walk up to a girl and can be an interaction with her and the first thing I do is approach and then I know I know in my head Ah, this has to be fun That's all my focus is just be playful just have fun here make this enjoyable make this engaging and Once just laugh once this card of chuckle the bit together right and that's a skill set I've worked on it's a skills that you all need to work on once. I've done that. I know in my head Ah now I have to actually learn about her Now is when I actually have to try to build some rapport get who she is what she wants what makes her tick Make her make her make her know that I get where she's coming from it's about building rapport and we do this and often A rapport based conversation is a bit heavy So once we've done that I'm gonna make it light-hearted again I'm gonna change teasing playfulness and teasing playfulness is very easy to then segue into being sexual sexual escalation Now I'm not going into how this all happens because that's not the nature of this talk You can come and chat to me afterwards at any time about anything to do with dating and relationships, but here's the thing knowing this Knowing this means it doesn't matter what emotional state. I mean it doesn't matter how scared I am or intimidated I am Because the reality is I've been I've been doing this pickup suffer a long long time and every now and again I'm still gonna meet a girl who intimidates me and I know every man in this room has had the experience of walking up of seeing a girl they like and and and you're like Oh my god She's hot and you walk over to her if you find the courage to you walk over to her and you're in front of her and your brain's like the hell with this I'm out of here, man and Then you're like We've all had this experience right the higher the stakes the less your brain functions We know this this is this is a this is a biochemical thing that's going on cortisol a stress hormone and adrenaline They prevent your brain from from thinking cross-latter They prevent your brain from doing a lot of things especially related to creative thinking which massively impedes our ability to Plan and have forethought and do all these interesting things in interactions. So yes, it's very hard So the less thinking that your brain needs to do in an interaction or on a date or at any other time The better prepared you are for when you're intimidated for when you're tired when you've had a bad day Because when you meet the woman that you want to be with Not just the woman that you want to shag if you happen to cross paths with the woman Who's absolutely right for you that you'd actually like to seriously date make a part of your life You don't want to be too tired to be able to think clearly You don't want to be too intimidated to do anything good with it and have her pass you by If you've got a system you've got something to lean on you're starting to rely on you got something that you can trust We'll get the job done in summary guys. There's three things that you absolutely have to do number one You've got to measure everything I Kid you not Okay, if you run a business if you want to get better with women it is the same thing you must Measure it sounds dumb. Just keep like a spreadsheet Maybe six metrics that really matter to you seven metrics write it down And then and then every and then and what you do is you work out what you reckon you could easily make an improvement on You know if you think to yourself well look I approach every ten girls I approach six girls reject me seven girls reject me That's ridiculous Then focus all your energy. What could I do that would change it? What could I do that would improve the odds there and Then focus that whole week just go out approach ten twenty girls Changing that just that thing Did it make it better did it make it worse if it makes an improvement you hold on to that bad boy You test something new the next week That's how it's done. So you've got a test possible. So there is absolutely no end of really good information I mean this weekend you are gonna hear some really awesome stuff I've met some of the speakers and dating and pick up that are gonna be at this event. I've heard all of them before There's some really awesome stuff You've got to test it out like Socrates said already you've got action is where it's out If you don't take action and learn from that action nothing is ever ever gonna change and once once you've worked out what works You systemize it you create a system out of it so that you don't have to reinvent the wheel over and over and over again Which is what most of us do most of us jump into every interaction with a girl And we have to think about every part of that interaction over and over and over again And then we get lumpy results. We get unpredictability. We keep changing everything. We don't know what works and we don't know what doesn't work So guys, let me let me open up this stage to some questions We know that I've seen some guys writing some questions down I don't know if we want to ask the guys themselves or go off the pads of paper. I'll leave that up to Steve All right We have a question here that says does it not get boring or less special when you systematize a First date Yes, it absolutely does. Well, it doesn't get less special Here's the thing that happens every interaction that you have right every interaction you have if the girl herself is boring and Plenty are You shouldn't be on a date with her The excitement of an interaction with a girl is not where you go or the journey you take her on It's the interaction you have with her. It's how her humor is. It's when you build rapport with her Is there something about her that's fascinating to you? That's the stuff that's exciting one thing that I experienced with most guys is we never put enough weight on that stuff We think of it as she's hot. Okay, I got to try to make something happen As opposed to she's hot great That's the first step is she also a cool chick great now I'd like to go on a date with her so yes if you are with girls who you just with because they're attractive that is Going to get real boring real quickly, but if it's if it's a girl who's genuinely fascinating to you It just takes a load off and allows you actually appreciate what's happening Okay, how long did it take you to develop your dating system? Yeah, good question Can I just ask a qualifier there when you say dating system? What do you mean exactly? Just kind of like what you just kind of walked us through like your personal one that you use on a daily basis Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. So I put that together I put that together, you know, I spent about two hours kind of just putting together what I thought would be a good date After about five dates. I would have said I was about 90% of the way there If that gives you any any feedback didn't take long so then what's the end goal is it to Sleep with a lot of women or is it just to have the ability to sleep with a lot of women? Or is it to find someone that you really want or and do that quickly or not make a mistake? What's the end goal? Yeah, actually, that's a really good question. I'm actually really happy you asked that Coaching he's also the founder of the school of attraction an NLP practitioner. Let's all welcome Damian Dica What's up, man? All right, plump them together into a system and Then you follow that system you make it as simple as possible, but no simpler You know in shadow and stuff and it's kind of romantic because it's good You hear the waves lapping and see the city lights and stuff and then I try to make out with that was the game plan So in the beginning this date was a lumpy and go on comes to me They're interested about me and what I do in this case on the salesman. Yeah, absolutely And this is a system and it's probably ten times better than anything you guys are doing right now because I one thing I know is most guys have no strategy at all so a strategy is better than no strategy Cool, it's nice to meet you got to go back to my my girlfriends now That's that's a that's a sort of a very quick snappy rundown of a woman's difficulty in dating It's women suffer just as much if not more than men with dating relationships You guys may be surprised with that but wow the The pain that the women go through is no more or less than what I deal with with guys all the time