 I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and my attitudes. What is up everybody? This is Chris from the Rewired Soul where we talk about the problem but focus on the solution and if you're new to my channel, my channel is all about mental health and what I like to do is pull different topics from the YouTube community to try to teach you how to improve your mental and emotional well-being. So if you're into that stuff make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell and calm down calm down this video is not about Trisha Paytas. It is about Trisha Paytas fans and there's going to be a little bit of a story time because a lot of you enjoyed the video I did yesterday with a story from working in the Drug and Alcohol Treatment Center and all of that but before I get started all of you wonderful people who are following me over on Instagram I just announced the five winners for the Lost Connections book giveaway so make sure you go check out the post over on Instagram at the Rewired Soul see if you won and if you're not following me yet make sure you go follow me at the Rewired Soul I'm going to be doing another giveaway in two weeks I'm not going to tell you what it is but in order to enter you need to a be following me on Instagram and b you need to watch the video my mom and I did over on her channel about gratitude journaling all right that'll be linked up in the info card above so make sure that you watch it all right but anyways yeah I haven't talked about Trisha Paytas in a little bit since I made my response video and yeah I've kind of backed up a little bit I might do something eventually just kind of talking more about the situation and everything like that and what I'm doing and all sorts of stuff but anyways anyways um yeah I did want to give her some space so I've been covering other stories and you know other mental health topics and all of that right but anyways um when she made that video I got a lot of new subscribers too and some other channels have covered it you know like uh Repzilla and some others and it's gotten me a lot of new subscribers so thank you thank you all and speaking of speaking of like even though you know my brain is like a lot of ours where it can focus on the negative I do have a lot of amazing subscribers who focus on what I am trying to do and what and they actually get it and it warms my heart so much and actually here's a clip from one of our Rewired Soldiers jewels and she said this in a video the end of 2018 I discovered a youtube channel called the Rewired Soul and I'm absolutely in love with this man's videos Chris if you're watching this I love your videos I think you already know that though because I tweet you all the time and I comment on your videos but holy moly you guys this man has changed my damn life let me just recap the Rewired Soul for you ready here we go this is my best shot at it you're watching the Rewired Soul where we talk about the problem but focus on the solution and what I like to do is take topics from the youtube community and pop culture and teach you how to improve your mental your mental and emotional well-being so if you're into that be sure to click that subscribe button below and ring that notification bell because I make a ton of videos so thank you thank you thank you thank you but even still like a lot of people a lot of you are concerned about me and stuff and like when Trisha Paytas like made her video everybody's like oh no you better watch out the Trisha Paytas fans are gonna come over and they're gonna they're gonna be talking all this stuff and I'm like I could take it I could take it I'm a grown man I ain't afraid of nothing right then I started getting all these comments and I'm like dang calm down I'm a little I'm a little sensitive you know what I mean and yeah one of the um one of the things I've noticed is like some people have subscribed to me just to hate watch me and comment on a bunch of things that doesn't bother me so much but in this video I want to kind of talk about you know some story behind how I work on my mental health how I try to get clarity how I try to get to the root of the problem but I noticed one of the types of comments that was bugging me was the type of comments I have up on the screen right now ones saying that I'm claiming to be an expert and like people are saying oh you're presenting yourself as an expert expert and I'm like sitting there I'm like why is this bothering me so much why oh why is this bothering me so much so we had to get down to the root of the problem and anyways I was actually live streaming on my youtube channel yesterday playing some fortnight talking to all of you beautiful people and it hit me it hit me so sit back relax here's a little bit of a story for what's going on and why that affected me and I hope you can learn from it and learn to sit down get quiet and try to understand why things are affecting you the way they are right so as a lot of you know I'm a drug addict and alcoholic in recovery and I started out in my recovery by going to 12 step meetings so I got sober in Fresno California and everywhere you go meetings are they're the same but they're different right so in California or in Fresno rather where I went like when you walked in the meeting you went and you like signed in on a piece of paper and then the the person at the front you know they would call on people to share right but then they have something called the burning desire all right this is just I'm not affiliated or anything like that so I'm not breaking any traditions so calm down for those of you who don't know I'm just explaining to you what meetings are like all right so they have something called a burning desire all right so they'll be calling on people for most of the meeting and then maybe like the last 10 15 minutes they'll say does anybody have a burning desire and that burning desire is like does somebody really have something to share right like maybe they didn't have a chance to share in the meeting because they didn't get called on but maybe they're going through something maybe they're struggling maybe they need to share something right but what I noticed because I'm a judgmental mother you know what I noticed was when people would share their burning desire like I would look at them I would look at them I'm like oh oh here comes so-and-so they got to share because they just know everything they know everything on or they're just like the king or the queen of sobriety like I was judging them so hard like oh you think you got to figure it out because a lot of them that I noticed or what I perceived was they weren't sharing like about some troubling experience they were sharing like oh listen I got this thing figured out and all of you need to listen to me right like there was some sort of recovery expert all right so whenever there was a burning desire I never shared because like I looked at these people like they were like I was like who's this jack hole over over here so I didn't want to be that jack hole so I never opened my mouth and shared during that time like unless you called on me I wasn't sharing jack right so anyways um after I was about I think like 15 or 16 months sober I ended up moving back to Las Vegas and I started going to meetings out here well the meetings here in Las Vegas much different not much different they were the same but different so when you go in like we didn't sign in right basically what would happen was somebody would share at the beginning of the meeting and then they would open the meeting up right so it was almost like the whole meeting was burning desires right whoever wanted to share would share and for weeks if not months I didn't share anything okay now here's something like there's a million reasons why I start my videos by saying we talk about the problem to focus on the solution like I would start to get really frustrated in a meeting where everybody was sharing about the problem and nobody was sharing about the solution I'm like sitting there I'm like you guys like let's talk about some positive stuff like what are you guys doing here like this is making me want to go get high you know what I'm saying so after after weeks of just staying quiet and everything like I called up my sponsor those of you who don't know what a sponsor is it's like a recovery mentor they kind of walk you through the recovery process the book the steps and you know all that stuff so I called him up and I'm like listen dude I was like I've been back in California I mean back in Las Vegas for weeks my sponsor still lived in California worked out perfectly anyways I called him I'm like listen dude these meetings are different they don't call on you you just share and I told him about my fear I'm like dude I judge people so harshly when they share I think that they're a D bag I think that they think that they're an expert and they got it all figured out and stuff but like I feel like like I need to share like I need to say something you know or whatever and and what he said to me really clicked for me and he said maybe that feeling that you're getting getting inside maybe that's a feeling meaning that you have something that might be valuable to share right because like a lot of you I struggle with like imposter syndrome I like what do I have to share what do I have to say how am I going to help anybody you know what I mean but he said that to me and it kind of clicked I was like okay right so like my fear my fear of how people would perceive me as what I was seeing other people as that fear was was not allowing people to hear something that might actually be helping them you see what I mean so I got over that fear I got over that fear of people looking at me and judging me so what helped me out was by walking through that process I started getting more empathetic and I started understanding like okay why am I judging people so harshly maybe they're just sharing because you know they do think it can help somebody why why does my mind look at that and something I found out a while before that was I had this fear of being talked down to out of fear of people talking to me like I'm stupid you know all these other things right or fear of people thinking that they're better than me so one of my biggest fears is being a hypocrite so I was afraid to start sharing so openly and becoming the person that I was judging but that wasn't the case so anyways when I was on my live stream last night and I was talking about this and how people were saying that I'm claiming to be an expert I didn't know why it was bugging me so much but then this story came to mind I was like oh yeah right and like that's something that's been deep because this is something that was like that I used to deal with five five years ago or so and I haven't had to address it in a long time so I thought I was over that like let me know down in the comments below has there ever been anything in your life that you thought you got over and then later you realize like oh wait I'm not really over that right so when I have Trisha Paytas fans coming over and accusing me of presenting myself as an expert it's bringing up those old feelings and something that I learned that I try to teach other is anger is rooted in fear all right so remember that anger is rooted in fear so like that quote I read at the beginning of this video I try to teach all of you what I had to learn myself it's a lot easier for us to fix us and how we react and respond to the world than it is to think that we're ever gonna change the rest of the world so one of the things one of the things getting into the solution now that I have to do is separate the truth from the false right anybody who struggles with mental health issues like you don't even have to have a diagnosis disorder just mental health issues your brain gets messed up something that we have to do is separate the truth from the false right so when people are accusing me of something right presenting myself as an expert I have to sit down and really evaluate it and say okay is there basis in what they're saying is there some truth in what they're saying right so one of the one of the comments I get sometimes is you don't know how to take criticism no I can take valid criticism but just because you say some BS doesn't mean that you're right you know what I mean I've made plenty of videos talking about criticisms that I've gotten and trying to change what I say or you know or word something differently or explain myself a little bit more so I am very open to criticism and here's why here's why I'm very open to criticism I know for me for me personally my ego is my worst enemy all right so like a lot of people think you know it's the drugs it's the alcohol or it's you know whatever it is right and this isn't just for addicts and alcoholics and recovery like I realize that my ego ruined my life for many years for many many years I made a video a while back like a lot of you don't know this but I actually used to be in the professional video game industry and I used to travel all over the world and I destroyed that part of it was because of my addiction a lot of it was because of my ego so when I started working on my mental health I had to learn how to be humble I had to learn how to get humble one of the things that I struggled with that a lot of you have asked me to make a video about and I might is that I struggled with this thing where I was always right no matter what happened I was always right you were wrong and I'm afraid to become that person again so something I'm always questioning is when I see these comments am I is it my ego is it my ego getting defensive and telling me that I'm never wrong or is this person saying something that doesn't really have a basis right so here's a great example separating the truth from the false checking in with my ego and all that like again I showed you all those comments of people saying that I'm an expert but a lot of people a lot of people might watch one of my videos if I'm lucky if I'm lucky they watch the whole video I see like one of the reasons that I don't take many comments too seriously is because I can tell just by looking at their comment that they either a didn't watch the entire video or b they were hearing what they wanted to hear from that video and they neglected certain parts but again I have over 700 videos on my channel so when I have to ask myself like am I am I trying to present myself as an expert so I think about it but then I realized that a lot of the people who have that quote unquote criticism they haven't seen videos like the one I did about Dr. Mike and Gabrielle Hannah uh or not Gabrielle Gabby Hannah where I say this yeah the smartest people in the world will be the first people to tell you that they don't know and I love what Dr. Mike said right here okay like this is something that I think is huge for all professionals not not not even professionals people as a whole like my life started getting better when I started realizing that I don't know that much like Dr. Mike says when you get a PhD you realize that you have more questions than you do answers like humility is like one of the main things that makes somebody a good doctor or a good therapist you know because they don't think they have all the answers like that is why we have a discord server that is why we have a facebook group I do not have all the answers so yeah like I know I know you know because to thine own self be true I know that I never ever ever have claimed to be an expert I know that something I remind you guys all the time is that I am not the the one person that you should be coming to I know I don't know everything there's I know that I know I'm always trying to learn I'm always trying to expand my knowledge but one of the reasons I have this channel is to share my experience share things that I've been through share things that I've learned with all of you but I haven't learned everything right something I used to talk to my clients about all the time is like I'm here for you and to give you suggestions to give you advice let's say a mother called me like I can give her my experience as a parent but I can never give her my experience as a mother because clearly I am not a mother I'm a father there's some specific things that a mother is dealing with right so even though a lot of these Trisha Paytas fans have accused me of presenting myself as an expert I cannot control the way that they perceive me all I can control is what I put out there and what I say and I have over 86,000 beautiful subscribers right now and a bunch of you know what I'm trying to say so I can't focus so much on them as I need to focus on the positive that I'm doing and how I'm helping all of you but I did want to share this story because sometimes I have to get quiet myself and say why is this affecting me the way it is all right for me a lot of my clarity comes from just being more mindful for being more curious about my emotions my thoughts my feelings and stuff for some of you that clarity might come through journaling for some of you that clarity might come through speaking with a therapist for some of you that might be clarity speaking to a support group whatever it is all right but we get these answers about the root of the problem by putting in work when it comes to our mental health so I can happily say although I'm a sensitive dude the Trisha Paytas fans no longer bother me so bring them on baby but anyways again for those of you who don't know there's no there's no bad feelings towards Trisha Paytas I've reached out to her on Instagram I haven't heard back but she has millions of messages trying to you know just hash things out anyways anyways love you all hope you learned something from this and again go check out Instagram see if you won and if you're not following me yet make sure you follow me because there's another giveaway in two weeks all right but if you like this video please give it a thumbs up if you're new make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell because I make a ton of videos and a huge huge thank you to everybody supporting the channel over on Patreon you're all amazing and don't forget next Thursday we are doing our first Patreon group call to sit hang out and chat all right if you want to become a patron click the top right there thanks again for watching I'll see you next time