 So this morning, I was watching a video about where our first impressions of relationships begin and as I started to ponder the thought that was shared particularly from the from the Fact of the matter is most of us get a sense of our our first sense of Relationship from either our parents or our early caretakers. That's right. Our parents are our early caretakers and Our world of what a relationship looks like Begins from that impression that we gain and then as we age it begins to shift from the Stories we hear or more importantly and certainly in the last 50 or 60 years the movies or TV shows We watch that's right the movie or TV shows We watch influence how we might create a world of how we might view a relationship Why am I bringing this up? Because there could be I think there's roughly 8 billion people on the planet So let's just say that half of those people have access to television certainly all 8 billion have access to a person that created them a mother and a father or a male Biologically speaking so where does people's impression? From a relationships come from if what we witnessed in our life has been relatively unhealthy That's right. It's been relatively unhealthy How can the world the vision of a relationship look like for a person or worse? What if it's a vision of a fantasy? Certainly, we've talked about it in the past about the Cinderella story or the movies the notebook and others that glorify or Anticize relationships without really any understanding of the foundation of what it takes to build a healthy happy relationship in particular building trust and Trust begins when we show up trustworthy or what this topic is about is showing up with some class So I want to lean into this conversation about trust from them because I think it's hugely important to recognize That if you are serious about wanting a fully committed relationship Then it's important to understand what trust is in a relationship Because without trust and I'm not talking about trust merely in the area of fidelity I'm talking about the deep roots of trust that are built To actually weather the storms when things aren't going the way you wish them to be in fact most folks fantasize or glorify all the positive things in a relationship and yet they tend to forget or focus on all the challenges that might occur in a relationship Challenges could be difference in values challenges could be difference in lifestyles and sadly even worse is Difference of emotional maturity and relationship skills in relationship and that's right The thing is if we aren't building trust in a relationship then what you're going to find yourself in many cases Are casual relationships situationships or friends with benefit relationships I'm going to repeat that casual relationships situationships or friends with benefits relationships And I want to add a fourth one to that because these days since most people spending more time on their telephone Texting and communicating in that venue then actually physically spending time together I believe a significant percentage of relationship these days are simply what I call cyber Relationships and while they might physically see each other on occasion They're spending more time with their telephone than they are physically building the deep roots of trust needed To establish a healthy happy relationship So trust isn't just about fidelity as I said before and while that's important Trust is really can I count on this person to care about my feelings as much as my own? Does this person have my best interest at hand? Will they be there for me when I'm sick? And yet sadly many people are entering into a relationship today with little or no commitment To actually investing in the long term of relationship Because certainly in my demographic, which is the midlife demographic Which is after baby making years and before retirement Roughly 75 of the people in the age demographic that I talked to are divorced And that demographic has a reluctance to actually lean into something more substantial And ladies, let me just say this If a man isn't in a position to either take care of someone and this doesn't have to be financially This could be emotionally take care of someone or just even physically take care of someone It's going to be difficult for him to build the deep roots of trust that can take this relationship To something more substantial And yet sadly many of you are holding hope on very mediocre relationships And you oftentimes I think women settle On a not okay relationship when a man will oftentimes settle on a just okay relationship Think about that for a moment a lot of men will happily settle on a just okay relationship And women often settle on a it's not even it's it's not even okay And you'll settle on those relationships because some relationship is better than others And let me just tell you if you're a lady of class You'll never settle on a either just okay relationship or a not okay relationship So I said i'm going to talk about class today Because I believe when you lean into a relationship with a level of emotional maturity It's going to establish the class you need to determine If this person is worthy of your time is this person worthy Of you investing your heart and certainly your body to someone who's not capable of being there Is this sinking in is this resonating? Please let me know post a comment Post it in the chat box. I want to know if this resonating with you if it is hit that like button Please share this video and please subscribe to my channel if you're brand new All right, let me put on my trusty glasses because we're going to talk about the five Uh surprising things that tell a man you have class and I've got a bonus one which really is near and dear to my heart So I think one of the things in the early stage of dating that demonstrates that a woman or a man has class is that they Okay, most of the time since we're talking about midlife folks folks in their midlife They are most likely divorced and if they are divorced One thing they don't do a person that has class doesn't bad mouth their x That's right. They don't bad mouth their x Nor do they blame the entire ending of the relationship on their x Because there's always two parties in every relationship and if a human being doesn't take ownership on their part Then that's not demonstrating a level of class in my humble opinion. You may disagree with me. I'm okay with that But a person of class doesn't bad mouth their past relationships and more importantly They take ownership They take ownership for their part in the ending of relationship even if you were with a I mean short of being with a axe murderer or somebody who abused or You in a relationship because certainly i'm not condoning that whatsoever What I am saying here is we all play a part in the ending of our relationship And a classy thing to do is to own your part. Okay um All right, number two Can listen and acknowledge your communication or you can listen and acknowledge his communication and he can listen And acknowledge your communication. Here's the thing folks Healthy relationships is about good communication skills and good communication skills Starts with good listening skills and good listening skills would be something like this You just heard what I said And then you repeat back you acknowledge what that person said that demonstrates that you're actively listening and that demonstrates your level of class because Here's the thing most human beings communicate to respond Instead of actually listening. That's right. They're waiting for the next thing to say Instead of actually taking in what the person had to say Acknowledging that and more importantly accepting what that person has to say might be true to them If there's a difference of opinion between the two of you So again Good list good communication starts with active listening and active listening is hearing what a person says And then acknowledging what they said by actually repeating back to them what they said So they know that you've actually heard them And that demonstrates a level of class Okay, number three Um, oh, here's the thing I put down this demonstrates a person as class if they've done some personal developments um personal development work or they understand the mechanics to a healthy happy relationship One of the books I recommend frequently Is the book seven principles of making a marriage work Why do I like this book because it outlines the mechanics to a healthy happy relationship in particularly The importance of good conflict resolution skills needed If you if you've done personal development work and you've studied relationship I believe that demonstrates a level of class if you're in the market for a fully committed relationship In fact, I also recommend this book For those of us who are in the second or third go around in our life Making your second marriage a first class success. By the way, there's a link to all the books I recommend in the description below Why am I recommending these books because I I cannot begin to stress the importance that a person of class Understands the mechanics to a healthy happy relationship Folks, there is a blueprint to a healthy relationship Most of you and most men out there are winging it. You're winging it. You're winging it You're like you're flying without any direction hoping that magic fairy dust of love will make this relationship work Many of you are operating on magic fairy dust hoping that the relationship will work Without really understanding the importance of good By the way, you can all say jonathan good communications the key to success of relationship But if you don't know how to communicate in a hell in a way that's seen heard and understood Just because you said the word doesn't mean you're actually operating that and just because women have a propensity To communicate emotions doesn't necessarily mean it's landing on their partner if you haven't read the book Um two books I want to recommend Um here here's a great book I Hear you the surprisingly simple skills behind extraordinary relationships I highly recommend this book to understand effective and good communication skills because many of you are suckling on the fantasy I talked about In the beginning of this broadcast because most of you have been indoctrinated in relationship success based on the movies you've watched And certainly many of us have never had a really healthy relationship To model from our parents because we witnessed oftentimes dysfunctionality So done some personal development work including in the area of relationships. I highly recommend that number four They are not all consumed by social media even if it's their job You know, I'm in a profession where I do spend a fair amount of social media And i'm capable of putting my phone down and connecting with my partner A person who isn't all consumed by their instagram account their facebook account Whatever twitch account or whatever tiktok account. They're not all consumed by it That demonstrates a level of class in my book. You may agree. You may disagree, but it demonstrates a level of class in my book and number five I think this is an obvious one that demonstrates class But they're genuinely friendly to wait staff service staff and others I was in a relationship with a woman who was a gorgeous multi-millionaire coach In the in the personal development world That's interesting just because you might be in personal development world doesn't necessarily mean You're an awakened or conscious human being because she said to me privately She never said this in public, but she said to me privately She basically said all wait staff are commoners and she was above the commoners I mean, I will tell you that relationship ended shortly thereafter because that demonstrated little or no class to me And certainly when a person treats somebody who might be temporarily in a subordinate position with you to you I think with kindness care and respect Demonstrates a significant amount of class. Do you agree with me on this one? Please let me know And here's the bonus one. This is number six the bonus one They are on time for a date One of my biggest pet peeves are people who are habitually late, especially in the dating process And I can tell you that to me lacks class when people show up late to a date without some Acknowledgement of it or some genuine sincere reason why they couldn't be I think human beings who have class don't take other human beings for granted Particularly in the early stages of dating One of the things I appreciate most about my beloved there's a picture of her right there Is she's continually punctual She makes that effort to be on time I believe that demonstrates respect and then demonstrates a level of class And I think people who are habitually late or inconsider of others show a lack of class And so I put that actually as a bonus But to me that's the number one way to determine if a person has class is are they punctual? All my clients know I call literally right at the dot Of our coaching sessions and if I ever am late they have always advanced notice But I literally to me punctuality is a value that every human being should adopt because there's something There's nothing more disrespectful in my world than people who show up late when they've made a commitment based on time Is this thinking in is this resonating? Please let me know Okay, those five surprising things that tell a man you have class doesn't bad mouth past relationships can listen Hear what you have to say and acknowledge what you have to say number three has done personal development work Particularly in the area of understanding relationships number four isn't all consumed by social media Even if it's their business number five genuinely Friendly to support staff and service staff and number six being on time to me that demonstrates a lot of class Thank you for allowing me to share that with you for those who are familiar with my Live streams. This is time for q&a if you have a question post the question Post the word question post the question there after or you can purchase a super sticker super chat if you're watching live All the money's from the super sticker super chat goes to a scholarship fund in the name of my son Hunter asley He's my son who passed away a few years ago And in his honor i've started a scholarship fund to defray the cost of personal development for folks and also To donate to causes like the hoffman process and insight seminars So if you have a question write the word question Write post the question there after or purchase a super sticker super chat and I want to give props out to couching tiger hidden rook I've got a great guy and I know the difference. Yay. I'm so happy to hear that. Yay Folks, I've got to get something to clean my glasses. So talk amongst write a question for me right now Because I'd like to hear which I'd like to read what you have to say And we're going to take questions about class What demonstrates class? Or anything else you want to talk about we're here to get started I forgot my my worksheets that uh, some of you lovely folks have donated to me, which I really appreciate it All right. Oh, and if you're watching the replay you can purchase the super thanks as well So Let's see what we've got here Couching tiger gives me a thumbs up. Thank you so much. I appreciate that Couching tiger hidden dragon. It wasn't that the movie. Is there any symbolism there? All right, what do we have here? Uh, let's go swim in Let's see Do we have any questions write the word question post the question thereafter? This is our live q&a So I'd love to hear what you have to say Oh that rhyme it's our live q&a and I'd love to hear what you have to say Elena says I'm so happy you met someone special. I think she's talking about hidden drag hidden rook way to go And yes, that was a good movie Again, if you have a question write the word question and post the question thereafter you know It's funny One of my favorite movies is the notebook um And that is somewhat of a fantasy of relationships to some degree. I think it's a lovely romantic story But another movie is this is 40. It shows how really How painful turning 40 can be when you're in relationship And how it's important to establish a real connection with your partner and the deep roots of trust As I said, so you could stand with whether the storms that might eventually happen in your relationship All right, jaymie writes question Jonathan it's not just women many men seem to have lost their ability to trust too What do you recommend women do when we encounter men who are shy that way? Well You know, they always say trust is earned. I believe trust is built. How do you build trust in a romantic relationship? social activities hobbies mutual interest spending time with family and friends traveling together teamwork building skills both in your personal and your professional life Intimacy both physical and emotional intimacy Those are just some of the ways to build trust in a relationship is through the doing of things together But jonathan i'm in a long-distance relationship and we spend all day on the telephone and we barely see each other How am I going to build trust that way? Folks, why are you and why are so many people investing in relationships that are mediocre? I want to share something with everybody. I did a poll recently And I'm only using long-distance relationship because this is true of most relationships today I said long-distance dating often leads to which one of the following Long long-distance dating. Okay, they lead to long-distance casual relationships Long-distance one-night stands long distance cyber relationships long distance friends with benefits and long distance serious and fully committed relationship Do you realize that 83 of people thought that very few long-distance relationships ever manifest into something significant? And I think 83 is still too low I think long-distance relationships and what I mean to say is many of you are settling on just having a telephone relationship with someone and you're not standing in your power You're not standing up for your what standard do you want to have? My coaching by the way, if you need support with coaching Check out the link to a free discovery call with me My whole coaching program is centered on the premise of developing partnerships And learning which questions to ask someone to deter early on right before before the penis ever goes inside the vagina Asking the key questions to determine if you're on the same page But jonathan he's going through a divorce jonathan. He's not divorced yet jonathan this jonathan Oh my god, you guys have so many excuses for mediocre and bad choices that you make and then you wonder Why you've spent five years in a dysfunctional relationship because you chose to settle for something mediocre I'm here to say step into your power. If you haven't read the book Why men love bitches and bitches stands for babe in total control of your selfie Yes, and while I don't love everything in this book. This is an empowerment book To stand in your power so you don't settle for mediocre relationships with which which is what many of you Tend to do is this sinking in is this resonating? I hope it is All right, so Now I went off on a tangent jonathan. It's not just women lost their ability to trust too What do you recommend women do folks again trust is built together not singularly Okay, that's my invitation for you. Thank you so much Mary Ann writes question Do you feel that when you're both with the right person? Wait Do you feel that when you're when you're with the right person that your own spiritual growth starts to accelerate even more Than being single working on yourself alone You know, that's a great question Something I actually pondered this past weekend so and I shared part of this in my video on sunday So folks, I have not just only in an anxious attachment style I have a propensity to I'll be candid with you collapse when there's pressure now when I mean by collapse when there's pressure I mean things like When I'm struggling dealing with india on the telephone because my computer isn't working And I literally think the sky is falling in that moment When there's something going on with a financial issue related to banking I mean literally I think the sky is falling in that moment And why I'm bringing this up is that I don't handle those pressures Oh, by the way, we're traveling when we're in another country or just even airport issues and stuff Now I've had some trauma that has caused me to be this way. Okay now I'm in relationship with someone who can absolutely handle chaos Much calmer than I can And it's interesting because as a woman she could look at me and say, oh what a weak man he is That's one way she could look at me She also looks at me at the totality of who I am and says I understand that jonathan has a propensity to wig out when there's crises And she has a propensity to have strength when there's crises going on Now I have my own strengths in the relationship and she doesn't have the same between us So I think in a healthy relationship We get an opportunity To heal and I believe one of the things that I'm healing is that anxious space And thankfully I have a partner who doesn't judge me or look at me any less as a person because of that So yes, I do believe relationships are a great Um, then you for healing our stuff without a doubt. Okay, so great. Thank you so much Stacey writes what is long distance an hour away? I think long distance is anything more than 30 minutes away, but at least an hour away A long drive away or a plane ride away. Uh, that's long distance in my opinion. Okay. Thank you for that question Question do you believe men on dating sites recognize and appreciate a classy lady? Well I think we shouldn't characterize men who are on dating sites or not. Can a man appreciate a classy lady? Yeah, I appreciate a classy lady I also don't judge those who lack class I think it's important that if you want to have a happy life Then eliminating judgment from our individual repertoire meaning judging someone as being less than yourself Or judging someone as being inferior or worse judging someone as being bad I don't believe from a spiritual perspective pays dividends In one soul I think when we come from a place of compassion love for every human being Both men and women alike then we actually live a more fuller richer life. So It has nothing to do with the dating sites. I do believe that good people who are not riddled with emotional pain Suffering from I'm not good enough. I'm not lovable. I'm not likable people who are in their individual empowerment Are attracted to other human beings who are in their Individual empowerment. That's my my suggestion. Anyway, that's one of the reasons why I wrote my book My book what the heck is self love anyway a journey of personal development self-help and spiritual work By the way, there's a link below to get a copy of my book and that's um my two cents on that one So thank you so much All right, Pamela Hey, by the way, if you have another personal question for me, let me know Okay I'm Ima Question Jonathan how to ask a man for future plans. We both mature. We're both widowed I have a relationship with them last two years. We are both taking it slow for better knowing each other Look at I prefer establishing right up front What are your relationship? desires and being very up front about that I don't like the idea of taking slow in fact folks. I am the complete opposite I say dive into the deep end Share your truth lay your cards on the table. I'm not opposed to look at I've been watching a lot I've been binge watching shows, uh, like married at first sight and love is blind Now one of the things they do is they live together early on in this experiment And they find out whether or not they're a match so literally in four months They figure out if they're in a match or not and most of the relationships fail Okay, I'd rather know in four weeks. Did I say four months? I meant four weeks earlier In four weeks, I'd rather know if this relationship has any legs or not Dating is so drawn out. You can the average woman spends five and a half years Wasting time on a relationship that's never going to go anywhere I'd rather cut to the quick lay your cards on the table very quickly Set your standards set your boundaries know that you're on the same page and then actively work on making that a reality But Jonathan it will scare a guy away You only scare a guy who doesn't want a relationship with you away That's my invitation for anyway, and by the way, it's not about the guy It's about your standard of what you want in your life. And is he going to go on the same train track as you? All right Uh, let's see Question any advice for couples working on it working on what? Please be more specific. Thank you Question, how do I get off the hamster wheel of messaging back and forth with a man and know if he's really interested in getting to know me Stop messaging him. You know what I come back to my girlfriend. She I I actually she doesn't she's not a big text Until I actually witnessed how she texts. I mean it's painful to watch her text like this I mean I text like this. Okay. She texts like that. It's painful when we were first talking and communicating with each other I'd send her a text. She would just call Folks stop being such whoops What whips get on the phone get on a telephone call do a facetime do a whatsapp video Get in your car drive there spend face to face time together Relationships are not going to happen if you're all day on the telephone It happens face to face, but jonathan we live too far apart folks proximity Equals relationship success the closer two people live together the greater chance of success they have It's part of the reason why we moved in together. We knew if this relationship had a chance We have to be in the same proximity of one another All right, anyway, that's my two cents. Sandra. Thank you so much Question ways to deepen emotional intimacy great question. I'm gonna go over here First off most of you human beings have no clue what emotional intimacy is This is why I recommend the book by robert masters emotional intimacy And i'm following up this recommendation with the book by barbara de angeles how to make love all the time This book is a great blueprint for creating emotional intimacy with your partner But jonathan he's not going to read this book with me Does his penis get to go inside your vagina? If it does then you have every right to start establishing emotional intimacy, but jonathan will scare him away Folks, do you want to have a surface level relationship? Or do you want to have a deeper relationship that is built on shared values? blendable lifestyles emotional maturity because attraction We can have attraction with a lot of people But to build emotional intimacy requires an investment of two willing partners Stop settling on just a body and start Experiencing relationship from the heart another book. I highly recommend reading Because it throws out the bullshit gender rhetoric read the book if the buddha dated I love this book for really getting to the heart It throws out the stupid gender rhetoric of how it's supposed to be and it's about connecting with your heart And I highly recommend this book All right, I hope that helped couching tiger hidden rock rook. Thank you so much All right Barbara says a high value woman don't date men who are separated. They're not fully available Emotionally that is often very much the case. I agree Stacey says, thank you, Jonathan and all you awesome people Cecilia writes question What in my old relationship can I analyze to to make my new relationship super? Okay, I would I would review The merits of the relationship in other words Here's what I would do I would ask myself What positive things did I learn about myself in this relationship? Somebody write that in the box what positive things that I learned about myself in this relationship What was good about this relationship? And what am I most grateful for about the relationship? Those are three powerful questions to ask oneself To to really be introspective Of positive things I learned about myself what was good about my relationship and what am I most grateful for? I hope that resonates with you. Please hit that like button. Please share this video Please subscribe to my channel if it does if you want support And and how to vet an emotionally mature man Then check out the link to a free discovery call with me to see if working with a coach is right for you All right, let's keep swimming here We're having fun You know, I keep hearing about covert Narcissists good luck trying to figure out those people before you date them. Do you know what repels covert narcissism? Setting higher standards and wetter boundaries with oneself. That's how you avoid them What is good team building skills? So You know I'll give you an example When my girlfriend and I were looking at our condo One of the first things she did is she walked upstairs and by the way You've seen some of my videos where I show the view and the first thing she said is this would make a great office for you This would make a great office for you. She leaned in and cared about my needs That's and it was professionally that's good teamwork building skills. She wasn't feeling well today You know, and I made sure to get her ice pack to get her coffee To even make her breakfast this morning, even though I was in the middle of client I went and took care of her that's teamwork building skills We take turns on certain things in our relationship That's teamwork building skills when there's something to like a you know, like we're taking a trip I took care of one thing. She took care of another thing. That's teamwork building skills Does that make sense? I think that's rather obvious But that's and I think in particularly in your professional life I say a good teamwork building skills in your personal and your professional life All right, great question, brian. Thank you so much Question what can help me make my own boundaries? standards To have a boundary you have to know what your standard is for example If your standard it was like me If your standard is you'd like to be in a relationship where you spend three or four days and nights a week together A guy that calls you once every other week. That's that doesn't meet your standards. What's your boundary? A boundary is simply I like what brunet brown says a boundary is is what's okay and what's not okay for me. You're not familiar with brunet brown Here's a great book to check out daring greatly Her work is amazing At understanding and this will help you with your boundaries Cecilia check out this book. By the way, there's a link to all the books. I recommend all right Let's keep swimming DD says question is being a tall woman a turnoff for men. I'm five foot ten uh For some men yes For some men a tall woman is a turnoff for some men short women are a turnoff for some men They love tiny women for some men. They love tall women As my friend once said there's a butt for every car there's a car seat for every butt But I'll let you figure out what that means. But is it a turnoff to some men not all men and and It's okay for somebody to be turned off by it. In other words, that's not their type That's okay for them to have that we all have our preferences And I don't believe we should ever judge someone for their preferences. So that's another thing. I'd like to add to that Debbie says Question need help was with a narc have slipped twice with the no contact my head knows better and my heart is broken All right. Well, that sucks By the way, folks, are you familiar with the ariana ariana grande song? I heard it a couple years ago. I think she wrote it after she broke up with uh, pete davidson next Folks if n e x t isn't in your vocabulary, then it's time to learn it n e x t next We have no excuse listen. I understand why we gravitate to unhealthy people This is why I continually recommend everybody doing the hoffman process This book Is a deep dive into healing your childhood wounds and traumas and adult traumas that often cause you to Choose dysfunctional relationships I highly recommend reading this book and doing the work in the book Because if you continually choose somebody who's not good for you, then only you have yourself To look at in the mirror after once you recognize it Once you recognize that you are the common denominator in your life Then you have a choice You can either accept mediocrity or you can strive for excellence And when I mean by strive for excellence, look, we're all Imperfect human beings trying to do the best we can But just as in the book the five agreements Where is my book the five agreements? Oh It's somewhere here Where is the five agree four four agree? Where did? I meant four agreements Well, it's somewhere here my point of bringing it up is Always doing your best should be one of your top agreements to yourself And that's my invitation for you. Okay. Thank you so much Hey crouching tiger another nine dollars and nine nine cents to the conor asley scholarship fund. Thank you so much You are empowering women and men. Thank you, jonathan. We appreciate all your dedication All can I just reach over and give you a big gigantic jonathan bear hug of appreciation? And thank you so much for the donation. I really appreciate it All right Let's keep swimming Fam says i'm six foot tall By the way, I live in redondo beach where the volleyball capital one of the volleyball capital is the world A lot of tall guys live here Worded tall guys live on basketball courts and volleyball courts If you want to meet a tall guy hang out in a basketball court or a volleyball court. Where else would tall guys be? That's the two place. Oh football players probably as well um, all right Raul bay says do you think the artist's ejection by robert green is a good book? I think many of the assertions in his book is designed for short term gain And it's designed to trigger the ego Um, and it's not necessarily a book about developing a healthy happy relationship. I would much rather folks buy the book um Eight dates by doctors jon and julie gotman to set up the mechanics to a healthy happy relationship That to me is more seductive than learning the techniques in that book That temporarily gain attraction But probably not for the long term, especially if it's an ego-based relationship and not a heart-centered based relationship if you really you know folks Before connor passed away. I began reading the course in miracles. I'm not trying to make a religious pitch Dear anybody I did three years studying this book because it allowed me to really connect with my heart In a way that I really did not know it existed to me having a heart-centered based life Then a ego-based life and this really works on dismantling the ego in my humble opinion um Is a much greater It's more attractive and more seductive than learning simp techniques that temporarily Gain the favor of people who are living what I believe is an unconscious life and that's my two cents on that So thank you for that question Melanie says I'm in love with brian any advice for interpreting each other's insecurities You know, I think it's important when when couples have insecurities There's some insecurities you keep to yourself and some that I think I think if they're material to the relationship Those are the ones you talk about Because sometimes even my own little picadillos I have I don't have to tell my my beloved everything But I do my best to be transparent when it's material to the relationship when it's material to the relationship And that's my opinion on that. So thank you so much for that question. Melanie Okay jamie says Debbie with no contact you'll gain tremendous clarity. It's so worth it to gain that clarity debbie. It's worth everything It's like magic Yes, taking going off the grid to determine their real intent Can be useful. Although I think I believe two people should have grown-up conversations and not need to do the no contact game There's a book. I love it's called conscious uncoupling by catherine woodward. Thomas. She's a dear friend of mine actually She wrote the the the testimony on the back of my book Why I recommend this book is when you learn the five steps to living happily ever even after my point of bringing this book up is establishing real Connectivity with another human being even if it's not going to work out Requires intentionality and consciousness and that's why I recommend reading this book And not necessarily using the no contact rule As a way to temporarily gain The connection of another person. That's my invitation anyway. All right. Thank you so much question why everyone why Everyone keeps telling high achievers women to lower their standards First off anybody first off there's a difference between lowering your standards and Getting off your high horse of ridiculous expectations I think a lot of human beings have ridiculous Expectations and it's time to maybe slash those expectations in half never a standard standards are Does his actions match his words? Does he operate with victor consciousness? Not victim consciousness Does he know how to what I call fight fair actively listen and acknowledge you when there's a difference of opinion? Do they have empathy? Empathy isn't just I can feel your feelings. Empathy is I genuinely care about your feelings and lastly transparency If it's material and germane to the relationship are they transparent with you? Because playing the game Of assuming standards, I think women oftentimes might have ridiculous expectations And standards are really about the character of another human being and the desires of what you want in relationship That's my two cents. Anyway, thank you for that question rose. I really appreciate it Saul says thank you for all the books recommendations virtual hug. Well, I'm giving you a hug back. Thank you so much All right question the ego hurts in the friend zone Should you fight to win a guy's heart or does that turn sour because he wants respect? Listen, I think the best place to start is the friend zone friend zone with kissing and friend zone eventually with physical intimacy Here's the bottom line If you're friends with someone and you want to explore a significant relationship If you're already friends, maybe you should jump in the bed together That's a good way to motivate the relationship one way or the other. Now. I say this with understanding Of of my acronym called cares C a r e c a r e s. Excuse me. C a r e s. Yes See I'll be comfortable before you ever have physical intimacy with someone a be aware of the consequences If you attach to quickly or learn their real intention e be exclusive if you're having regular sex and s Be safe when it comes to sex But sometimes maybe the best way to get out of the friend zone is jump into the bed zone Look what lane and jerry did on seinfeld and they quickly realize they are better off as friends That way you're not pining. You're not sitting in unrequited love. Listen. This is merely a suggestion I'm not saying it's an absolute you got to do what's right for you But ultimately don't Don't pine for someone Unless they're investing in the relationship with you and that's my invitation for you Thank you so much for that question Uh, the book is behind you in the left lower shelf. So The book is here Where is it? We're talking about the uh four agreements. Oh, there it is Ha ha ha. Thank you so much melanie. You're right. That's where it was and thank you for the two dollar super sticker I really appreciate it Ah, you guys are the best Uh Rose says a heart centered base life. I'm in full agreement. Uh Rua says, thank you jonathan because of you I'm take taking more and more interesting books my next book will surely be eight dates on audible I love it. I love it. Okay. This will be our last question for the evening Question I stopped a man. I hadn't heard from in a while from sexting me Kindly told him because we hadn't seen each other for a while. It didn't feel comfortable your thoughts. I'm feeling good Sweetheart Colleen if you're feeling good about it, that's the most important thing If to do what's right for you Here's the thing. I'm not a big proponent of spending time on the telephone Folks, you know me. I like face-to-face relationships with each other not telephone relationships with one another so Listen as I started this broadcast our our perception of relationships Starts at our childhood and sadly it's morphed into the cell phone the smartphone I'm here to say if you want a healthy happy relationship Do it face-to-face because over the phone isn't going to develop that isn't the classy thing to do If you want a fully committed relationship the classy thing to do is have to face-to-face relationship And if you have to ask them out on the date to make it happen Do it find out where you stand lay your cards on the table sooner rather than later stop Listen ladies. You are in charge of your relationship. Destiny. Not a guy Men are rather they're winging it Stop winging it set the standard for yourself And do a better job choosing people if you need some support with that Check out a free discovery call with me to see if working with a coach is right for you All right, I think this would be a great place to wrap up today Oh, I want to thank Cecilia for the three dollar super sticker. I really appreciate it All right, just as a reminder those five surprising things that tell you then you have class one Don't doesn't you don't badmouth past relationships. You can listen and acknowledge communication You've done personal development work and studied relationships You're not all consumed by social media. You're friendly with waitstaff and lastly you're on time That demonstrates you have a level of class is this thinking in is this resonating? Please let me know hit that like button Please share this video and please subscribe to my channel if you're brand new I think this will be a great place to wrap up today. First off I want to give you a heart centered big gigantic jonathan bear hug And i'm sending one of self love to me. I'm going to reach into the camera and give everyone a big gigantic hug I'm asking you to turn to someone a pet a teddy bear pillow. There's a teddy bear Give inner them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love and let's face it We could all use more love in our lives I want to thank pretty and jamie and vicki and mia and cecilia and calleen and jamie and barbara And ruah bass debbie Rose crouching tiger hidden rook. Thank you for all your love and support melony. Thank you so much rose Everyone big gigantic hugs wishing you a fabulous evening. Thanks. Bye now