 My name is Sandak Nin and I'm the author of Malignan self-love, Narcissism Revisible. All told, there are three ways to manipulate the narcissist. You can withhold narcissistic supply from him until he comes, hat in hand, begging for more. And then you can name your price and dictate the terms. The second technique is to constitute yourself as a reliable source of high-grade supply and thereby foster in the narcissist dependence and adherence to your minutest needs and wishes. You will be amazed how attentive the narcissist can be to a good source of narcissistic supply. And then there's the third technique, to take active part in buttressing and upholding the narcissist's grandiose fantasies, to collude in a shared psychosis with him and thus render him amenable to your wishes and priorities, as long as they seamlessly conform to his delusional narrative. Right. The irony is that narcissists who consider themselves worldly, discerning, knowledgeable, shrewd, cunning, erudite and astute, well these exact narcissists are actually more gullible than the average person. This is because narcissists are fake. Their self is false. Their life is a confabulation. Their reality test is long gone. Narcissists live in a fantasy land, all their own, in which they are the center of the universe, are admired, feared, held in awe, and respected for their omnipotence and omniscience. In short, narcissists are prone to magical thinking. They hold themselves immune to the consequences of their actions, or inaction. Therefore, they consider themselves to be beyond punishment and the laws of man. Narcissists are easily persuaded to assume unreasonable risks and to expect miracles to happen. They often find themselves on the receiving end of investment scans, for example. Again, because they are risk-prone rectors. Narcissists feel entitled. Entitled to everything, money, power, honors, even though these are incommensurate with their accomplishments, or toil. The world, God, the nation, society, or their families, coworkers, employers, even neighbors owe them a trouble-free, exalted, luxurious existence. They are rudely shocked when they are penalized for their misconduct, or when their fantasies remain just that, fantasies. The Narcissist believes that he is destined to greatness, or at least the easy life. He wakes up every morning, fully ready for a fortuitous stroke of luck. That explains the Narcissist's reckless behaviors and his lazed lack of self-discipline. It also explains why the Narcissist is so easily duped. By playing on the Narcissist's grandiosity and paranoia, it is possible to deceive and manipulate the Narcissist effortlessly. Just offer the Narcissist's narcissistic supply, admiration, affirmation, adulation, and he is all yours, hard on the Narcissist's insecurities, and on his persecutory delusions, and is likely to trust only you, and cling only to you for their life. Both paranoia and grandiosity impair the Narcissist's reality test and engender cognitive deficits. Paranoia and grandiosity lead to the erection of complex and wasteful defenses against usually non-existent threats and enemies. Narcissists attract abuse. They are courting, exploitative, demanding, insensitive, and quarrelsome. Narcissists tend to draw oprogram and provoke anger and even hatred, slowly lacking in interpersonal skills, devoid of empathy, and steeped in irksome grandiose fantasies. Narcissists invariably fail to mitigate the irritation and revolt that they induce in others. Successful Narcissists are frequently targeted by stalkers and erotomanians, usually mentally ill people, who develop a fixation of a sexual or emotional nature on the Narcissist. When inevitably rebuffed by the Narcissist, these people become vindictive and in rare cases even violent. Less prominent Narcissists, less successful ones, end up sharing life with co-dependence and with inverted Narcissists. The Narcissist's situation is exacerbated by the fact that often the Narcissist himself is an abuser. Like the boy who cried wolf, people do not believe that the perpetrator of egregious deeds can himself fall prey to maltreatment. People tend to ignore and discard the Narcissist's cries for help. They disbelieve his protestations. They assume that he is guilty until proven innocent, not the other way around. So how does the Narcissist react when he finds himself on the receiving end of abuse? Well, like all other victims. He is traumatized. He goes through the phases of denial, healthlessness, rage, depression and finally acceptance. But the Narcissist's reactions are amplified by his shattered sense of omnipotence. Abuse breeds humiliation. And humiliation breeds healthlessness. And to the Narcissist's healthlessness, he is a noble experience. Either to, he considered himself all powerful, godlike. Abuse reminds him that he is also human and sometimes less than human. The Narcissist's defense mechanisms and their behavioral manifestations diffuse rage, idealization and evaluation, exploitation. These defense mechanisms are useless when confronted with a determined, vindictive or delusional stalker. That the Narcissist is flattered by the attention that he receives from the abuser or the stalker renders him even more vulnerable to the form as manipulation. Nor can the Narcissist come to terms with his need for help. He cannot acknowledge that wrongful behavior on his part may have contributed and precipitated somehow the situation. The Narcissist's self-image as infallible, mighty, all knowing this self-image as him being far superior to others. This exact self-image won't let him admit any shortfalls, any mistakes, any needs, even need for advice or for help. Narcissists consider themselves self-contained, self-sufficient. As the abuse progresses, the Narcissist feels increasingly cornered by his conflicting emotional needs to preserve the integrity of his grandiose false self, even as he seeks much needed support. While these conflicting needs place an unbearable strain on the precarious balance of his immature and disorganized personality. Decompensation is the disintegration of the Narcissist's defense mechanism. It leads to acting out temper tantrums, outbursts, loss of control. And if the abuse is protracted, it leads to withdrawal and even in extreme cases to psychotic micro-excels. Abusive acts in themselves are rarely dangerous. Not so the reactions to abuse above all the overwhelming sense of violation and humiliation. So, Narcissists are actually classic victims of abuse in many cases. Yet, it does not provoke in them self-awareness, let alone regorse or empathy of which they are largely incapable. It is wasted on them. Yes, even abuse is wasted on the Narcissist.