 When we start thinking about going on a family vacation my family gets very concerned because their Immediate thought is how can we get there the quickest? Let's just fly wherever we're going take the most direct route And they know that my mind immediately starts going to Google Maps and saying what are the different ways? We can get there and get back and I don't like to go someplace and then come back the same way I want to see different things. I want to do different things There are a tremendous amount of ways to get to the same location and I want to explore all of them and They're a little worn out on that But you know the same thing is true really in Communication there are so many words that we can choose from there's so many ways that we can communicate The same idea or the single idea the English is a vibrant language and constantly growing and changing and the amount of Words that we have and the ways that we can use them and that doesn't even factor in all the different Nonverbal expressions that we have and all the different other other different channels of communication that we have access to so When we're thinking about how best to communicate an idea or how we should communicate something We have lots of different options right lots of different paths and roads that can take us to this same General area the same sort of destination so really it becomes a matter of personal choice and and which way we're going to go and In a certain sense though, we need to be very Cognizant of the power that comes with that That in communication with those different choices and and in some ways it can feel like this kind of battle between good and evil Right that we have these forces within us Are we're going to do this the way that we know we should and the way that the best serves our purpose But also best serves our integrity and it maintains our ethics or we're going to do it in maybe a little different route We're going to take go to the dark side or we're going to you know that type of thing Which leads us into our conversation today on ethical communication What does it mean to be an ethical communicator? What are the principles that we need to consider just in general as communicators when it comes to ethics? But then also in particular as people of faith as Christians What does that mean for us when we talk about ethical communication and and how does our our Christian faith? Factoring that as well So let's start by looking at just some of the general principles of ethical communication Just as any communicator should it should be cognizant of these these ethical principles as Communicator to make sure that we're not veering into the you know over to the dark side or whatever We want to make sure that we're maintaining Solid ethics as communicators because there is great power here right and with that spider-man told us not to Mix metaphors and crosshounters here, but spider-man's uncle Ben actually told us with great power. It comes great responsibility So we need to yield our words responsibly and ethically so Some of the ways that we do that first are by being truthful and honest. I mean, there's not a whole lot to add to that Right, I mean, we should be truthful. We should be honest with people and and be able to maintain ethical communication in that way So that what we're saying is again the truth and is honest for that situation And and so we just need to be truthful and honest and it keeps things much simpler that way anyway We need to practice active listening if we're gonna be an ethical communicator We're gonna need to listen well because the end somebody may say do you understand or you know what I'm saying or whatever We ought to legitimately be able to say yes. I understand or no I don't understand or Instead of just kind of pseudo listening and and nodding our head and yep Yep, you got it no problem And then we're not really hearing what they're saying not listening actively to what they're saying Ethical communication requires us to practice active listening and to be actively involved and engaged in that conversation Well, so I need to avoid judgment and that's not a permanent thing I mean as humans were going to to judge we're gonna have an opinion and things But while we're listening we ought to be able to Separate those things and and keep an open mind on different things and avoid judgment first of all unless it's asked for and secondly unless we feel it's absolutely necessary after we've You know received all the information. We have all the facts. We've done our research We know what we're talking about and then we can maybe start to think about Some sort of judgment, but you know to a certain extent Judging whether something is right or wrong or good or bad for us and those types of things But but up to that point we ought to avoid judgment and we certainly shouldn't be judging people on the basis of their choices Their decisions and what they feel is right for them You know life is about personal choices and about personal responsibility for those choices So we need to avoid judgment in order to be ethical communicators We also need to speak from our own experience You know, we don't want to get into this hearsay thing Well, this happened to this person so that must be true or I've read this on the internet or saw it on TV We certainly can't rely on that necessarily right so we need to speak from our own experience We need to be confident that the information that we're giving and we're providing is is accurate because we've lived it because we've Experienced it because we know it to be true. So we ought to speak from our own experience And in if we're not then we ought to indicate that and say well, you know, I read somewhere Maybe then and qualify it with that instead of saying well, this is absolutely true And I know it because it happened to me or because I lived it We need to speak from our own experience as ethical speakers We need to consider the receivers preferred channel. We need to consider whether this person, you know prefers to Read text. I don't text my dad because he doesn't really text So I know that that to communicate with him Especially about something important if I send a text, he's not gonna read it. He's not gonna see it He's not gonna use that information. That's not his preferred method, but our kids They prefer text. They don't necessarily want to call. They accept a call from us occasionally It's alright. They like to talk to us about certain things and they'll accept one, you know, every week or two from us They'll allow that so to speak but but they prefer just a text a quick text They're they're they're Natives of this digital world and so they much prefer text to a phone call They certainly prefer a text to an email or something like that And they only accept a text for me because I'm not even on social media. I don't so I can't send a message Just through those channels so but you ought to consider the the receivers preferred channel when we're communicating with them Few others for just general ethics in communication. We got to strive to understand Notice this doesn't say we ought to strive to agree or strive to affirm or strive to Justify or you know those types of things, but we ought to strive to understand Where somebody's coming from why they would say that why they would do that? You know it ought to be our purpose to try and put ourselves in those shoes Demonstrate some empathy and understand the reasoning behind this before again We start getting into things like analysis and judgment and evaluation We ought to first strive to understand and make that our purpose and our goal in any conversation We have to stay positive You know, even if we're delivering bad news or for any conversation that's uncomfortable those things happen Those conversations need to happen and they are important. I'm not saying that we should avoid Difficult topics or difficult things, but we ought to stay positive about these things You know again English is a wonderful language and we have the ability to Frame things in a positive way even that aren't as pleasant and recently my parents are getting older They're in their 80s and and so they've started making arrangements and for their for their for their death for you know when they're called home and Those are conversations that they've had with us and they've with my siblings and I and our families and in terms of In a practical sense first of all Since I was a child, I don't know my parents have always been very clear about you know, hey Nobody lives forever, you know grandparents die people. I we're gonna die someday It's not pleasant in that moment, but we can be reassured as again as people of faith We can be reassured that we're gonna be reunited someday and and more of where we're gonna be Reunited while we're in the presence of God, right? So I mean, it's not a fun conversation to have but it's one that they've framed in a positive way in a positive light And the same with making their arrangements. They've been very straightforward saying to us. Here's where you know, we've made arrangements through this Funeral service and that you know this this home in this funeral service and this is we've communicated our wishes to them We've written it down here Here's what we want to happen and here's our preferences and how do you feel about these things and it's all been very positive though It's very positive and framed in the sense of we don't want you guys to have to worry about this And we don't want it to be a burden on you and it's not really, you know, it'll be sad We're leaving you but again Stressing all the time. This is just a temporary, you know First of all, this is a temporary body for us temporary situation for us Our real home is is what we're going and we're gonna be together again there and we're gonna be you know enjoying the presence of God and So we just have that that faith and so all these conversations while difficult have still been very positive We've always tried to do that with our kids when when they've done something that we have concerns over They've been in trouble or whatever. We've tried to frame it in a positive way. It's not that we haven't disciplined them We have probably more than they would like certainly on the harder end of some of our their classmates It seems never were really in trouble or disciplined for what they did But yeah, we would ground our kids We would take things away with you know, take away their driving privileges take away their phone Oh my goodness, can you imagine right but always trying to frame it in a sense of look We're doing this for your good We want this to be a lesson for you because we want you to be safe We want you to you know, we're trying to frame things in a positive way even difficult conversation So as an ethical communicator we can communicate difficult topics and and and you know, even sad things But we can stay positive at the same time Don't interrupt don't interrupt It's a very simple principle, but it's very hard to do right when we interrupt it conveys a sense of a Lack of value for that other person and what they have to say It says that what you are saying is not as important as anything that I have to say right now So I'm just going to jump in here and cut you off when we interrupt it demonstrates Not only that we're not listening, but that we're not really caring what that person is talking about so Ethical communicators Don't interrupt unless it's an absolute necessity, you know when you're talking to somebody and they're talking about something And you say oh my goodness. You're on fire. Okay, that's a that's a fair interruption, right? but but but other than that We will have our time and we shouldn't be spending our time just thinking about what we want to say We should be actively engaged in the listening process, but even more over we should not interrupt somebody else when they're speaking It's not ethical We should respect privacy and confidentiality When somebody tells us something and they ask us to keep it to ourselves. Guess what we should keep it to ourselves Or if they ask us not to say where we got some information or not to tell You know Somebody who said this then we ought to respect that as well And hopefully we'll have an opportunity up front for them to say it look I want to tell you something We can say look if this is you know, I'm not I'm not about privacy or company I don't want to have to keep this Private or confidential. So please if something like that, please don't tell me You know, I'd rather not get into that area or so if you have a reason to do something like that Then state so up front but when somebody tells you something in in With confidentiality and expecting privacy and then we ought to respect that And we ought to accept responsibility as communicators for what we say and the reactions that we have the emotions that we express all of it When we communicate it's on us and we ought to accept responsibility For those things and those statements and things we can also express regret and say I'm sorry I said that I should not have said that It was not my intention to hurt you Or I didn't realize that that was something that was going to hurt your feelings and I should have understood that maybe a little better But we can say all those things and that's wonderful. That's great But at the same time we can't say well, you know, that's it's not my fault, but it is your fault I mean it is your responsibility to accept You know the consequences for what you say and the way that you behave So as ethical communicators when we say something we ought to be able to and willing to to say yes that's what I said and Either I stand by it or I regret it or I take you know wish I could take it back or whatever But either way we need to use I statements and saying I I said that it's my my responsibility And and I accept responsibility for that But and then we can continue on with that not necessarily trying to lose a lot of things But but that's a major issue with things right now with with communication and since we nobody wants to accept responsibility For things that they've said because they find them regrettable So they would rather pass them along to somebody else or pass it off as though they didn't we need to stand up and say Yes, that was me for better or for worse. That was that was me and that's what I said We ought to accept responsibility for that So these are just principles that that really apply to any communicator in any sense right of ethical communication But there are some additional layers to things when we start thinking about how our faith factors into communication and and and how that affects Our ethical stance and what we're saying and how our Christian values influence our ethics So there are a couple of additional things that I want to throw out there for you first. We need to understand the power of language again for better for worse and Language has tremendous power Tremendous power and we ought to wield it in a Christ-like way, you know, we ought to be Compassion we ought to we don't have all the fruits of the spirit You know, we ought to be gentle and kind and and forgiving and all those things that the Christ modeled for us Should be a part of our communication as well. We ought to understand the power of language the the impact that it can have I mean that old saying the sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never harm me What a load of crap, right? Of course words can hurt you and they can hurt you very badly So we need to understand the power of language and use it in a a Christ-like fashion We need to listen. Well, again go back to active listening Christ spent Jesus spent a lot of time listening and you know much less time talking I mean you can Compare the number of times that he spent in conversation with with individuals where he was Listening to what they had to say and taking that in empathizing with them Compare that to the number of times that we know that he spent, you know Preaching on the Mount or things like that. He spent a lot of time listening He knew the impact and the power of listening and and we ought to View that as a model for us as well and listen. Well We need to know our audience. You know who we're talking to we need to know What their their their stances on different things their faiths and we need to respect that not that we need to again agree with it Not that we can't try and persuade them and share our own Feelings and things, but we need to know our audience and how to approach those folks and and how best we can we can serve them as you know Francis of Assisi is is credited with saying this that Preach the gospel all at all times use words when necessary indicating that we ought to Display our faith in in other ways as well and what so we need to know our audience Is this an audience that's going to respond to you know us us sharing with them our faith with them in that way and it doesn't always have to be about our faith but but In a verbal sense or is this an audience that's going to respond more to just seeing us live Christ's like lives and and modeling that as best we can So we need to know our audience and what they're going to respond to in that way And we need to understand them to that all messages inherently involve our faith all messages inherently involve our faith When somebody knows that we are Christian or at some point when they find out we're a Christian Then they're going to filter everything through that and everything's going to be about okay This is how what did the Christian person do in this situation? Whether you're talking about something for work and it has nothing to do with your faith or whether you you know Whatever you're doing you just grocery shopping every message we send then is going to be Viewed through that lens of our faith. So all of our messages involve our faith and we need to keep that in mind as Communicators as communicators. We need to understand that we are representatives. We are ambassadors for Christ. We are a representative of What God has done for us and through us and and continues to do in us and and so every message that we communicate is going to be Attached to that and have that attached to it. So all messages Inherently involve our faith and we ought to take them seriously as a result We had to take it seriously. We ought to take ethics in communication Seriously and take the notion that we are ambassadors for Christ and that we are you know walking talking billboards for The for God's salvation. We ought to take that very seriously in the way that we communicate So essentially what I want to leave you with is that everything we do has the potential to plant a seed Every everything every message that we communicate is essentially a seed Whether we're communicating it verbally by speaking it whether we're communicating it again Just through our behaviors through our nonverbal expressions through the the way our We keep our house in the way that we know any of that cut we communicate through so many different channels and in so many different ways But all of it plants a seed in others about who we are About our character about what that says about our faith. And so what kind of seed are we going to plant? Are we going to be planting seeds of faith and hope and salvation through the way that we communicate again, whether we're Specifically communicating and explicitly communicating about our faith or not. Are we planting a seed that? that really Displays that the hope in the salvation that we have or are we planting seeds that really indicate that you know, we're planting weeds basically And junk flowers dandelions and things that people don't really want in their yard Are we planting those kinds of the seeds and Allowing those to grow in others in the way that we communicate so we need to have and remind these ethics and Especially these the Christian values how they affect our ethics as communicators and keep in mind that those are always on display For us as communicators and as as Christians a few questions about about ethical communication or about Specifically about the the way that Christian values influence and impact those ethics please feel free to shoot me an email I'd love to hear from you and discuss this a bit further and and discuss how all this relates more into You know are the way that we use in imp and incorporate media communication into our lives So we'll just love to hear any questions comments concerns that you have feel free to shoot me an email And I'll get back to you as soon as again in the meantime I hope that you will give again strong consideration to what your methods and and your messages of communication say about you and how those are impacting your ability to be seen as an ethical communicator