 Can everyone hear me at the back? Yeah, cool. Alright, so my name is John Cooper and my company is called Art of Social and in 2004 I was at a dead-end job and I was MSN-ing my friend. Okay, if you remember MSN, it's going back a while. And I said, I can't believe we've got to do this for another 40 years. And he's like, I know, I know. And then one of us said, university, LOL. And I was like, nah, man, we can't, man. We're too old. And he said, no, no, I'm 27, you're 25. It's the perfect age to go. I was like, fuck it, should we do it? So basically what we did is we came up with a short list of the five best cities in England, the best party towns, and Manchester, Liverpool, Sheffield, Newcastle, and Leeds. And we thought we'd do a weekend out in each one and the city that we liked the most, we're going to go and do university degree in. So the first one we did was Leeds. And we went there and it was a party central, girls everywhere, we loved it. And so we thought, right, let's go to the university and pick up a prospectus and pick a course and do that. So I picked a fine art degree. It was like contemporary creative practice because I liked art, I liked doing a little bit of art. My friend picked psychology. And I said to Stan, I said, why did you pick psychology? He goes, loads of girls do psychology. And I quite like Darren Brown. So he lasted two months. Whereas when I did my degree, I actually, for the first two years, my grade didn't count. Okay, only in the third year did my grade count. And so what that gave me the opportunity to do is to party basically for two years. But also, in this art degree, what would often happen is we'd be get set briefs. Okay, so these briefs would be make this pretty picture or fulfill this brief, fulfill the outlines of this, of this brief for the art project. And I would do it to the best of my ability. But I wasn't getting the top grade. And it really bothered me. I'd nearly get the top grade, but I wasn't quite getting the top grade. And I used to say to the teachers, what am I doing wrong? I've done everything that you've asked me on this brief. But I'm not getting the highest grade. And they said, why are you trying to get the highest grade, John? And I said, well, I'm at university. Isn't that the point you want to get the highest grade? And they said something very interesting to me at that point, which has set me through for since then, is that you shouldn't be going for the top grade in art. It's about not trying to become the best. It's about you finding yourself and expressing that. And at that point, you don't need a good grade. It's about you just expressing your own uniqueness out into the world. And so in the third year, I looked at the word art, and I realized it meant visual communication. So I thought to myself, what do I want to visually communicate? So I thought, what am I angry about? What gets my juices flowing? So I thought, well, I used to get bullied a lot of school. So I thought, what I'll do is I'll go out on the streets and I'll bully people and I'll film it. So that was one of my art projects. I became a bit of a radical, you could say, right? So I would make this sign and it said, I'd go up to people on the streets and I'd say to them, hey, do you think you can be bullied? And they'd say, no, not me, mate. And I said, okay, and I'll tap them on the back. And as they walked off, I did a kick me sign on their back. And it said, click me with an arrow to my little website, which I thought was quite interesting, quite cool. And I also did like things where I'd hijack a bus stop and I'd have a pre-recorded message underneath the bus stop, where it was me shouting profanities at people saying, look at you, you skinny twat, you ugly fool, you, you know, all this kind of stuff. And everyone at that bus stop was listening to all this abuse and thinking it was about them. And then on the inside of the bus, I had two posters and it said, it's difficult to walk away from bullying, isn't it? So I did these projects. And I really at this point, I didn't care about getting a good grade. I was setting the world alight, if you like, I was I was getting arrested, even I was holding up traffic on the motorway. I'd really found my voice and my art. And then guess what guys, when I finished that degree, I got a first class honors degree, I've got the highest mark you can get. But it was only when I'd completely let go of the need to get the highest result, the highest score, did I attract what I wanted to. And so that's going to be the message today. What I'm going to teach you guys is how we can reclaim the art of being the artist, the social artist, because I believe we've lost it. Okay. And so those principles that I learned from doing my art degree is actually going to help you guys when it comes to meeting women, forging relationships, even friendships at work, all that kind of stuff. All right. So we're going to get into this. I've got a very different story to most people that get become a coach. You see, I've been a coach for 10 years. And I started off. Well, let's start off when I was a teenager. I was a pimply little teenager. My skin was so bad. I looked like the elephant man's little brother. Okay, I had to take pills that dried your liver out. Okay, they're called raricutane. So when it came to my teenage years, I didn't have much success with women. All right. But then as I entered my late teens and early 20s, my skin started to clear up a little bit. And I became a decent looking guy, you know, and I used to go out and I'd be on the dance floor. And girls would sort of like come into my space. And at that point, I was meant to sort of like, you know, take them by the hips and be very dominant. But because I had such low self esteem, I wasn't able to take action with these girls because I still felt like the little, the little boy, the little teenage, pimply boy. Okay. But then through trial and error, through going out on a dance floor, I started to meet a lot of women become quite tactile and physical and show my charisma with women. And I started to feel comfortable around women. But what happened was that when I finished that university degree, I felt I fell in love with my first real love. Okay. And it was like a bit of a shmoopy poopy love if I'm being honest with you. But she was like my real true first love. And when she ended it with me, it broke my heart so badly that it took me three and a half years to get over her. Okay. And from that place, I was in such a low point that my friends were having to bring me Nando's in bed. I don't know why I'm laughing. I could look back and laugh at it now. I was going yellow. I'm like, you know, I wasn't seeing any sunshine. I was looking terrible. And my friend said to me says, John, try and turn a negative into a positive. I was like, okay, all right. So I went to the bookshop, went straight to the self-help section, looking for books, how to get your ex back. That's what I did. And I realized through reading that book, I realized there was a reason why we broke up. There was a reason why that happened and it needed to happen. And then I was reading other books. Okay. And one of them was The Game. And so if you've read this book, I remember thinking to myself, well, if I can't have the love of my life, I can get any girl, any time, any place. That's what I thought when I read that book. And so I got deep into it. And I'd quickly resonate with my wingmen, who I overheard using the word incongruent on a night out, because before that no one used that word. So I was like, ah, you do game. Like, yeah. Okay. So I found my wingmen and we'd be going out and we'd doing all this stuff. And I became a little bit of a social pervert, if I'm being honest with you. I got so deep into it that I did a palm reading course. I did a cold reading course by the guy that taught Derren Brown. Okay. And here's the thing, guys, even though I'd be talking to hundreds of girls and getting loads of phone numbers, I wasn't quite quite connecting with these girls. But then because I was getting the occasional lay from it, I thought, man, this stuff works. This stuff really works. And my best friend said to me, he says, John, can I be honest with you? I said, yeah, he goes, what's happened to you, mate? And I go, what do you mean? He goes, used to be such a cool guy. Used to have your own parties. You know, used to run your own warehouse raves. And it was almost like girls came to you. You're a natural. But now, like you turn into a bit of a weirdo. What's going on? I was like, no, no, you don't understand like this book. It's like the Bible. If you learn, if you do what's in this book, you'll get loads of girls. And he goes, I want you to do this for me, John. I want you to take everything you've learned. Okay, put it in a box, put it to one side, and just go out there and be John again. And I was like, oh, man, I can't do that. Like, I wouldn't be in control. And he says, bingo, you got it. And so I went out and I'd be with my wing, my old wing buddies. I go, do you know what? I'm not going to do any of that today. I'm not going to approach girls. I'm not going to do any of that. And I'm just going to go back to enjoying the night again, how I used to. And so I'll be having a dance. You know, I'll do a bit of a play fight with a girl. We'd fall back on a sofa. We'd having a bit of fun, talking to each other. We'd have a kiss. And then I go, look, I want to get up and get back on with the party. And my wingman came over to me like, oh, my God, John, what was the opener? What was the approach you did? How did you transition? How did you micro isolate? How did you? And I was like, what? You see, they were coming from the pickup perspective. And I had completely let go of that. And I went back to being John again. And it was a real light bulb moment for me. Okay. So I should have stayed with that natural way of being. But unfortunately, the way that I saw it at the time was, well, these wingmen are taking more action with women. So I'd rather go out with them. And so I became a coach, teaching this stuff. I knew all the techniques, all the lines, all the routines. But still, I wasn't quite connecting with these girls. And then I found natural gain. And I thought, that's the one. This is the promised land, natural game. But we'd still be out on the streets hunting for girls, looking in set, approaching targets, opening, all the same things that we were doing before. Not very natural to me. And so it came to this. I was in Belgrade. And I was still had that pickup mentality. And I was by a lake. And I saw the target or the girl that I'm really interested in. And she was with her, sort of not so pretty friend. And so I worked my way in, I sat slightly closer to the one that I liked. And I was assumption stacking and I was building interest and I was doing all the sorts of things that we're told to build attraction with girls. And I took her number, the one that I liked. And then I texted her later, said, hey, do you want to meet me? And she says, what, meet someone that I've only just met. And I thought I'd reverse the psychology by saying, yeah, sure, can I trust you? A little bit of reverse psychology there. And so she met me and I thought, right, I'm going to deliberately meet her near my apartment, so that we can go for a drink and it's going to be easy to bounce her up to my apartment. And so we did that. We had a drink. And then she mentioned she likes photography. So I said, oh, well, you'd love the view at the top of my apartment. So she came up the escalator. And then because there was that nervous tension, that awkward tension, and I didn't want to have a state break is what they call it in pickup terms. Like I was quickly showing her stuff on my phone to sort of distract her a little bit. We went upstairs. She took some photos. We went into my room. We had sex. And then when I saw my natural game colleagues after that friends, they were high-fiving me. Oh, John, you're the man. You're the man. And I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But something didn't quite feel right about that. Something didn't quite feel right about that way of even though it was consensual, I felt oily. It didn't feel good, guys. And then roll forward five or six years. I'm back in Belgrade and I'm coaching. My students are firing off and talking to different girls. And I'm walking along the sun shining. I'm feeling good. My belly's full. There's nothing I need in this moment. So instead of trying to go and take from girls and approach girls and get something, I thought, you know what? I'm just going to, I want to shine some of this good feeling out. So I see there's a charity worker and they're looking for some money, some dinars. So I give them 200 dinars and they give me a card with some puppy dogs on. And I just think, what am I going to do with this? So I thought, this is a perfect way to use this and create a beautiful gift from it. So on the inside of this card, I wrote, to whoever receives this card, I want you to know you're beautiful and I want you to shine and let some of that sunshine out to someone else. Something to that effect. So as I'm walking around with this card, I'm no longer coming from a place of acquisition taking. I'm no longer coming from a place of fear and survival and trying to strategize. All I want to do is give this beautiful gift to someone. And as I'm walking around, I'm starting to feel powerful as a creator, not powerful in the sense that I can manipulate people, but powerful in the sense that I've got the ability to make someone have a beautiful day. And so as I'm walking around with this card, I'm making eye contact to all the people around, all the girls as well. And I can feel that it's attractive. I can feel them looking at me in a different way. And I kind of come up to the middle of the drag, the main drag in Belgrade, and there's a violinist in the middle of the main drag. And as I'm there, I make eye contact with the girl. And she makes eye contact with me. And there was no approaching, there was no opening, there's no strategy. I just walked around there and I said, hey, who are you? And she said, fine, thank you. I said, no, no, who are you? And she said, Ivana. I said, Ivana, shall we go and get a drink? And I took her by the hand and I walked off with her. And that felt so effortless. There was no strategy, there was no approaching. It completely reduced down to something beautiful and easy. And it was only when we'd had a drink that I gave her the card and she started crying and she said, that's the most beautiful thing anyone's ever done. And we became lovers on that trip and she's actually one of my best friends now. Now that first story that I told you where I led her up to the hotel, very pick upy, wasn't it? That girl never contacted me again. So the whole base is what I'm going to teach you guys is it's okay to get out there and meet women and socialize with them and express your desire. But if you're coming from this need to game them and work a strategy and try and control them all the way to an outcome, then you're actually missing out on life. You're not really going to be who you are and who you want to be. And so I just want to ask the question guys, which one do you want to have? Do you want to be the guy that's going out there looking for results from women looking for success? Or do you want to be someone that's feeling good in their own skin and wants to share themselves and co-create with the women around them? And whether or not they like it or not, you're still going to feel good. And so that's the important first question that I want to ask you guys, okay? So I've got two white boards up here. I'm going to get you, this is a little, this is what I want you guys to do. I want you to draw a circle on a bit of paper. I might get a thicker. Okay. And I want you to put five or six dots in the circle. Can you see that? All right guys. Okay. Now what I want you to do is you're going to start off from the edge of the circle and I want you to approach the different dots. Okay. So it should look something like this. Okay. All right. Now this is the game paradigm. Okay. Now when I use the word paradigm, what that means it's a system of thoughts that we operate in. It's a perspective that we see the world through and we live it out. Okay. So this is us and each point, each dot you could say is the girls that we want to talk to. Now when we take an approach, when we approach a girl, what happens is we create ones and zeros. So you can do this here. One zero, one zero, one zero, one zero, one zero, one zero. What do you think I mean by the ones, gentlemen? What's the one? Exactly. So what do we call that in the pickup terms? Yes. What's a yes? Close. Close. Thank you. And what do we call the zero? Rejection. Brilliant. So we got and also put the word approach in there as well. And that feels like pretty standard behavior, doesn't it? You see a girl, you want to go and talk to her, you approach her. That's what game is about, right? But unfortunately, so I want you to also do this. This is what I call the straight line approach. The straight line approach, you get this when salespeople, your door to door salesman, your cold callers. The quickest point between two places is a straight line. So that's what salespeople do. That's what gamers do. So this is what I'm going to call the ones. Okay. These are your straight liners. So this is what game is, game. Now what I want you guys to do is you're going to do another circle. You're going to put five dots in there again. Okay. Guys, can you all see that? Yeah. Now this time, what I want you to do is you're going to start off on the edge of the circle. And all I want you to do is forget about the dots completely. And I just want you to color in the circle. And I'm going to give you like three seconds to do it. Okay. So we're going to start off together. Ready? We're going to go three, two, one. You've all done that. Yeah. Now what I want you to do is I want you to mark up each point where you, the line intersected with the dots. So I've got one, two, three. I've got three there. Have you all got some? You all went through the dots, yes? Now let me ask you this question. Were you approaching the dots? No. So how is it possible that you connected with the dots if you weren't approaching? How is that possible, guys? The answer to this question is going to be what moves you out of game into this new paradigm. How is it possible that you're able to connect with the dots but you weren't approaching? You could say it's coincidence. The dots got in our way. We were doing something else and the dots just got in our way. We were in a higher purpose beyond just trying to approach the dots. Okay. So this is what I call, this is the first pillar, it's called autonomy, autonomy. An autonomy means to be self-contained in your own actions. Okay. And now I want you also to mark up the points where the dots weren't connecting. So you could use a different color pen if you want. So I've got one, two, three. We've got that, guys. Now let me ask you something. Were you didn't connect with the dots? Were you rejected? Why not? Exactly. So we've got here autonomy, no rejection and no approaching. But we still had the same desired effect that we connected with those dots. So this, this is how I am in the social world. Okay. This is the game paradigm. This is the cold calling approaching targets. And this here is being in your higher purpose at all times. And that's actually what's really, really attractive. If you think about a barman, they've got their bar here, they're immersed in their higher purpose of what? Serving drinks. So when they see the girl customers come to them, they can just, they've got almost like a free shot, don't they? It's almost like a bonus. They can be, hey, you're pretty. Can I have your number? No. They immediately dissolve back into their higher purpose, don't they? There's no rejection for the barman when he's talking to the girls that he likes because he's in his higher purpose. Take a performer on stage. Axl Rose. Let's say he sees a beautiful girl down, you know, they put their hands up and he's going down like that. Let's say that girl doesn't put her hand up. Is he rejected? He's Axl Rose, man. He's on stage. He's performing. That's his purpose. You see what's happening in the whole game paradigm is that guys are going out there with the sole function, with the sole purpose to get results, to get the clothes, to avoid rejection. And so all this material comes out to try and force that win. We don't want the zero, we want the one. So you have all this material that kind of works a very tenuous evolutionary theory about being the alpha male, you know, whatever it is, assumption stack in, you know, owning the frame. Yet it's all there to avoid the zero and force the one, OK? And when you live like this, when you live like this in the social world and you see every time you see a girl, you want to get the one and avoid the zero, it starts to drip feed into your nervous system that there's some kind of survival threat with this woman. Even if you don't consciously know it, unconsciously your body goes into a sort of paralysis where you're frightened of coming, going into that interaction and not getting a prize from it. And so what we have is we develop, we develop more language and I want to write this stuff down, OK? Wingman, disarm, bit shield, target, field report. Where's all this language coming from, guys? Military. And we're using this, we're using this language to express ourselves of women. So when you use the language of military, when you use the language of war, what does that make the woman? It makes her the enemy. So what's going to happen is in your interactions with these women, you're going to be coming from a place of trying to defeat her. And so that's why all this language correlates. It's not coming from a place of being on a level playing field. It's coming from a place of infield. Going to war. Can you guys see that? So when we're in conflict with other people, we're actually in conflict with ourselves. And so my philosophy is called social heart history because it's about returning back to being the social artist and also working on making ourselves feel good on the inside. Because when we don't, when we feel empty on the inside, we go out there looking to take from the world. When we feel good, we can shine that out to people around us. And whether or not they accept it or not, it doesn't matter. So I want to do a live example of this. So can I have two brave people? Would two people like to come up? Thank you very much. Can I have one more? Anyone? Anyone feeling brave? Thank you. Thank you very much. All right. So I'm going to do a live example of this and what this looks like, the difference. All right. So Noah, you're going to be the girl. And we're going to be the pickup artists. So we're going to be over here. Hey, man, can you give me a note? I really like that girl over there. What shall I say to her? I really want to approach her. I don't know. Maybe I don't know. Come on. Shall I go direct or shall I go indirect? Go direct. Direct. OK, OK. I've got AA, man. I've got approach anxiety. Should I push you? Yeah, you push me in. OK. Hi. How are you doing? How are you doing? I'm fine. OK. All right. And then turn you back on me. I want you to reject me. OK. OK, I'm going to go back in. I'm going to go back in. Hi. Excuse me. Hi. I thought I saw you and I thought you're really pretty. What? I saw you. I thought you're really pretty. Thanks. Thanks. I failed. I can't do it anymore, man. I can't do it anymore. You managed to take a second. Oh, God. Can you see that, guys? Can you resonate with that as going out there looking for girls, right? That's what it's kind of about. That's that ones and zeros I talked about, right? I got the zero, didn't I? This time I'm going to show you the colouring in, which is my philosophy social heart history. Right, let's come back into the shot again. Same thing. I want you to turn your back on me and do exactly the same thing. Reject me. OK. Hey, man. I hear you're doing your stuff with the books. Yeah. How's that going? All the designs. I saw it. It's doing pretty fine. It's really good, isn't it? Hey. How are you doing? He's a really cool designer and writer. Have you seen this guy? He's unbelievable. No, I haven't seen him. You haven't seen him? Oh, yeah. So tell me more about it. How was it? The writing? Are you going to publish some books? Yeah. Yeah? Yeah. It's more than publishing books. Yeah. It's really about the idea because of masculinity and well, being a good decent man. Yeah. Look at it. There you go. Guys, can you see the difference there? OK. Sorry? Fuck yeah. The first one, what was I doing? All my eggs were in one basket. Wasn't it? Whereas the second one, I was already doing something. This was my colouring in and I just invited that person into what we were already doing. So thanks, guys. Thank you very much. So, right. So can you see that that wasn't an approach because I didn't lose anything. You know, in Poki, you go all in with your poker chips. That's what the first example was doing, right? The second example was I'm having my party. I'm having my fun. I'm going to extend that out to the people around me as an invitation and whether or not they choose to accept or not, I'm still going to be with my friend doing what we were already doing. So if you do want a little language upgrade, I like using the word invitation or invite. And so this here is what I'm calling social artistry and I believe that this is the level beyond game. You see, this is fine. Coming from here is fine. If you're going to the gym, if you're trying to hit your goals at work, it's always going to be about rejection or closing, isn't it? That's why we have that sales language. But when you apply this paradigm to the social world and you live in it day in, day out, then you just become a hunter. That's what you become. You're just becoming the hunter. So I want to just fill this in a little bit more. Right, so I call this the three stages that we go through as men. And this is going to be in the context of meeting women and socializing. I call these the zero guys. The zero guys are the people that are staying at home. They're not taking much action with women. They're in their mom's basements. They're like the incels, if you like, okay? So that's why they're the zeros. And then from that place, they just feel like they can accept their own reality. They don't really want to create any new change in their life, okay? And then what happens is, we move into the straight line, which we talked about. And this is where people think, I'm not happy to be where I'm at. I want to create some change. So they take that straight line approach. And that's what game is. You could even call these, these are the video gamers at home with their mom. These are the gamers. And the third example, which is my paradigm, I call these the tens. I call these the tens. And the reason I'm doing that is because we actually need a little bit from both here. The zero guy accepts his reality for what it is. He doesn't want to change anything. He's acceptance. He's acceptance of it. But when there's acceptance and it goes too far, it leads to apathy, okay? When you take on the masculine energy here, it's about creating changes, it's about going towards what you want. It's about penetrating out into the world. But when you have all that with no acceptance, you become the hunter. So what we need to do here is we need to integrate part of the zero guy with the one guy. And this is also linked to gender dynamics. So the circle represents the feminine and the line represents the masculine. That's why you can see how it actually refers to the shape of genitalia as well, okay? The feminine, when a guy's in there feminine for too long, we can call these the pussies. When a guy's in the masculine line energy to always taking that straight approach, he's the dick, right? What we wanna be doing is we want to be integrating the acceptance with going out there and trying to create change in our lives. You see that line energy, that masculine line energy, what we do when we're only operating from there is we're always keeping score. There's always a metric, there's always a win or a lose. And so the real PowerPoint, the real PowerPoint is when you can take action, but you're in your feminine of not scoring, not judging. And that is the power, that's the real power. So these guys, the zeros, I say they've given up. They've given up when it comes to socializing. The ones, the gamers, they're taking, they're trying to take from women. The 10s, the social artists, they're giving, or you could say giving and receiving. And now, can I borrow someone again? Thank you, right, hang on. Okay, right, you're gonna try and take this phone from me, but it's my phone, so I'm gonna take it back, okay? So there's only gonna be one winner here, try and take the phone. Try and take it. Okay, no trick question, who lost? Thank you, I lost, yeah. Next example, try and take my phone. Who lost? Right, third example, try and take my phone. Who lost? No one? Why? Because I gave, I was giving. Thank you, thank you very much. You can't be rejected if you're coming from a place of giving. You can only be rejected when you're going out there looking to get your one and avoid the zero and take that result. And so this is why I'm calling it being a social artist. Okay, because the artist just wants to express themselves. They don't care what you think about it. They're doing it for themselves. And that's different to what I would call in the ones. The ones are artisans. And I'm talking about being an artist. An artisan is a craftsman. They want, everything they do has to be to the letter, to the T, like making a bit of furniture. Making a chair, making a door, making a light fitting. That's an artisan. It has to be crafted perfectly. Whereas the artist, it can go however they want it to go. They can express themselves and there's no perfection to it. And that's what I wanna teach you guys when it comes to meeting women. If you're coming at it from the approach of the artisan, then you're always gonna be in a state of strategy. You're always gonna be going sequentially through a series of ticking boxes. Whereas the artist, he's just expressing himself. And where girls express themselves back, that's the overlap, that's the relationship. And it's unconditional. And so the artisan does this. I had a student once and I said to him, I want you to go and get a drink from behind the bar. And as he's walking off to get the drink, I said, ah, wait, I want you to approach the bar. I want you to work around all the obstacles. I want you to get an indicator of availability from the barman. I want you to transition into the order. I want you to get the drink, work back around the obstacles and come back to me. And he was like, I said, or you can just get a drink. Now, which one is easier, gentlemen? Just getting the drink or doing all of those micro compartments along the way. And I want you to think about that because when you're the artisan, you're trying to sculpt, craft together all these things to what's just a natural flowing of communication of your desire, what you wanna express to these girls. So I want you to do this. I want you to get a piece of paper. I want you to roll up into a ball and I want you to throw it at me. Prices if you hit me. All right, whoo. Okay, all right, okay, all right. Okay, that's lame. All right, okay, all right, okay. All right, right guys, what did you just do there? No, what did you do there? You just threw the paper, right? But let's look back at that in slow motion. You're lying to me guys Did you not lift the paper up in one hand? You lifted the paper up, right? Did you not rotate your hips and your body weight back a little bit before you wanted to throw? Yes, you did. So why didn't you tell me that then? And then didn't your hand go forwards and didn't you uncock the hand and didn't you release the fingers? Are you lying to me? I saw you guys, you did that. Or did you just throw? Exactly, both, that's right. But which one is easier when it comes to informing your action? Is it just throwing or is it hold paper, rotate hips, put weight back, lift arm up, put forearm forward, open fingers? Which one's easier? You see, what we've done over the years is we've accumulated so much theory and so many techniques that we're unable to just unlock the easiest thing which is just to throw. And of course, we get stuck. We get stuck that way. Because we're thinking, okay, what do I have to do next? What's the next thing in the sequence? When it's just the easiest way is to simplify everything down. Who here plays a musical instrument? Thank you, a few of you. There's a time when you have to like learn each string, right? You know, at the beginning. But you're not the musician until you just let go and play. You ever reach that point or someone, if you learn a foreign language, you know, you're clunking through it then at some point you just let go and you just start speaking it. You see, what's happening with the information that they're teaching guys when it comes to game is they're filling their brain with stuff to do. And what that's gonna do is it's gonna create clones. It's gonna create replicas of these other people and you're not being the unique artist that way. An artist is someone that can express themselves and it's totally unique, their own unique style. Van Gogh, he only sold one painting his entire life. Do we look back at him and think he failed? Or do we look back and think he's a genius? There's actually a documentary called Painting in the Dark and it's about Van Gogh. And it's because painting in the dark in the sense that he was relentless in his production of art. He was continuous. The fact that he wasn't able to make a sale didn't stop him from expressing himself. And that's what I wanna teach you guys to be the artist. And so to get there, I mean, the story with that girlfriend that broke my heart, okay? The reason why I changed and I came out of game was because I realized that my actions in game were actually coming from a closed heart. She broke my heart, this girl. And what happened in that moment of pain, my heart closed. And so from that place, I resonated with control strategies. I was coming more from fear and survival. And I thought, I'm just gonna have sex as many girls as I can. That's gonna be the new way. But as I started to heal my own heart, I started being able to give. I was autonomous and that's attractive. That is so attractive to people, to women, when you can just express yourself without needing anything from anyone. You see, what happens is, guys, when we go out there, I call this Pac-Man, okay? When we're going out there with the sole intention to get girls, this is what happens. This is us and this is the girl, or the girls that we need to acquire to feel good, yeah? That's like the missing piece that we need on a night out when we're doing game, right? And so what this does is it creates a bit of a needy smell. Girls can feel like when you're not feeling whole and complete and you're needing to take from them, they can smell this. So what does the budding pickup artists do? They create what I call the PUA shield. And they use various techniques to demonstrate that they're non-needy. So I'm gonna write some of these up. Qualifying, qualifying a girl. You really want this girl but you're qualifying her to, you're using it as a technique to try and almost interview her to see if she's good enough for you to demonstrate that you're non-needy. Other ones are false time constraints. What's a false time constraint? Oh, I've only got 20 minutes and I've got to get back to my friends. You're lying, you're out all day on the streets hunting for women. You're saying that as a technique to show that you're non-needy. Active disinterest, leaving kisses off texts, not calling a girl back, like waiting three days to call a girl back. These are all techniques that pickup artists use to cover up the needy smell, okay? But unfortunately guys, that doesn't last. That won't last. Because there's only so much cheap aftershave you can wear to cover up the smell. And she's gonna test you on that and you're not gonna have anything. And she goes, I've got you. You're not the cool autonomous guy you're pretending to be by using these techniques. And so this is why whatever you do within game, whenever you go deeper into game and try and find more elaborate theory, more complicated techniques or whatever, you're still gonna only be upgrading the ones. You're still always gonna be focused on getting that result. You're never really truly gonna be free. You see what this does, it's this creates behavioral dissonance because you're going out there, you need women, you wanna get laid, but at the same time you're showing that you don't need her. And then they have all these other things that are like nagging and like knocking her confidence down, all that kind of stuff. They're just pseudo techniques to give the impression that you don't need her. But you do. So what I'm teaching guys is to do the shadow work on yourselves, come to a place where you feel whole and good and content without women. That's what's attractive. Where you have an autonomous lifestyle. You've got passion, you have purpose. You've got a social circle and you can invite them into it. And so this is what I call sun energy. What think about the sun? All it does is just shine. It gives, it expresses itself. Now, if you were to step in the shade, how's the sun gonna feel? The sun doesn't care because he's not trying to take. And if you get a sun tan, great. That's the relationship, that's the connection. And guess what? Planets orbit around the sun. The sun creates a magnetic field that draws things into it. Go back to Pac-Man. Who does Pac-Man attract? Well, ghosts, I guess, in the game. That's not attractive. That is that straight liner. That's your cold callers. If you've ever walked down a busy street and you get the people with the clipboards and they're trying to sell you something, it doesn't matter how much they window dress it and look all charismatic and smiley. What do we tend to do? We walk around them because on some level, we know that they're trying to take from us. Isn't that right, guys? We know that they really wanna get something that we're gonna take from us. So we are repelled from these types of people. But the people that can just express, they can just give themselves away, that's attractive. That's genuinely attractive. And so when people see me out in a bar, in a club, or just anywhere, they say, oh, John, it looks like you're bulletproof to rejection. Like, how do you do it? You seem like you've got all this charisma with girls. And I say, it's because I'm not doing game. I'm the only one in this bar not doing game. That's why. And they're like, what do you mean? What do you mean? Like, you must be doing some game. Is it natural game? I'm like, no, it's not even natural game. And so this is the basis of the talk, guys, is we have the zero guys, which you guys aren't, you're here. You wanna create change. I would like to think you wanna, you know, improve your relationships with women. But are you in the ones where you're seeing every social interaction as a series of ones and zeros, like winning or losing and trying to get that result? Or can you show up where you're in that masculine line energy of going towards and taking action, but at the same time, you have that feminine quality of acceptance, of equanimity, of non-judgment upon each interaction, like the coloring in. So, I mean, there's a lot more that we could talk about, but that's the fundamental difference between being a pickup artist and being what I call being a social artist. Someone that's able to make themselves feel good, content and whole on the inside, and can just offer that out to people around them, the women around them. And it's a completely unconditional gift. That's really attractive to women. So, I'm just gonna open it up to the floor for any questions. Do we have any questions on that? Yes, please, in the white shirt. I think I got it a little bit. Yeah. Sorry, was it John? Yes. Hey, John. So, this natural being a higher-purpose social artist state, would you disagree or agree when I say that that depends on luck to a big extent in terms of being in the right place, in the right context, in the right time when you're doing that coloring in the circle. Yeah, coloring in the... Hoping that some dots are intersected, right? Yeah. Versus the direct game where you've identified those dots, you're going for it. Yes, you get a binary result, one, zero. Yeah. But if the ultimate goal, and I think it is for a lot of guys here, is to have a sexual experience with a woman. Yeah. And you're using this indirect approach of coloring. Let's say you do get her into your sphere of influence, right? And it could be whatever topic, like talking about that example they used, discussing a book or whatever. At some point, you need to make your true intentions known. So at that point, doesn't it invariably transition to a direct game? I mean, unless you're happy being just, comfortable being in the friend zone. It's not about being in the friend zone what I teach. There is, if not more action, masculine action what I teach, okay? Because when you're coming from the ones and zeros, right? It's gonna go well or it's gonna go badly. What I'm talking about is, I'm still leading with my masculine edge. I'm still taking action, but at all times I'm not thinking about like avoiding the zero and getting the loss. It's a pool of potential that I'm exploring in every moment, does that make sense? So I see it more like, if you can imagine, when I go to a bar, I don't see it as like hot girl, hot girl, target, target, must go and approach her. I see it as like one big pool of potential, potential lovers, potential best friends, potential great stories to share, potential adventures to be had in this moment, okay? And I might see a girl that I really like and I have that desire for her. So I go in with that intention, okay? But I'm always grounded in my higher purpose, which is to enjoy the night, to enjoy the music, to enjoy my friend's company. And then as I give the invitation, extend that out to her, okay? With my desire. Let's say that she turns her back on me or does whatever she wants, okay? I seamlessly flow back into what I was already doing. Does that make sense? So I don't feel, I don't feel that there's no zero for me. But a lot of directing, you have this approach, you know, you have your, those micro steps that you're talking about online. You go in and, you know, she turns you down, she rejects you and you, you know, maybe they're faking it, but it seems like they're faking, transitioning back into what they're doing still. I mean, at least the good ones do that. But they're still doing game. That's the thing that's, use the word rejection, right? Well, I'm teaching, there is no rejection. But I mean, if she has, if she wants nothing to do with what you're, of the sphere that you're trying to influence her, that is still a rejection, is it not? No, because I demonstrated it with the coloring in. Was there a rejection there with the coloring in? That's, I mean, that's you drawing on a whiteboard. Right. But what I was trying to show. Yeah, right, so in a social situation was the demonstration that I gave, okay? I'm already doing something with my friend. I might show my desire. I really like her. Hey, who are you? You look pretty. And then in that moment, if she's not interested, I go back to what I'm already doing. Okay, look, put it this way. Let's look at this way. Look, if I've got $100 and I offer it out to someone on the street, a hot girl and she doesn't take it. Have I lost? Why not? I mean, you still have your money. Exactly. It depends on how you define what's in that context. So this is the point I'm trying to make. This is the paradigm shift that I'm creating, okay? Is that the pickup artist wants to control that other person to get them to do what you want them to do, right? What I'm doing is it's an unconditional gift in that moment. It's an invitation. And if you don't accept that $100, it's fine. I've still got the value, guys. I've still got what I wanted to give. I'm like the sun just shining. Yeah, great. So I find it very interesting what you were telling and then the theory and everything. I like it because it's kind of a way for stepping from P-way to a more pleasant place. I would say there's a lot of mechanics that you need to learn. Like we've discussed all the tactical virtues of masculinity, improving your character. So this transition from artisan to artist is a very long one. You also need the red pill to understand what the mechanics are and how you can behave so you really flow in your natural. And I see it as kind of a bridge to the place that is more warm and kind of like a transition from the anger phase, maybe. How do you see that? Okay, good. Thanks for the question, right? So I'm not teaching you go out there and you don't do anything, okay? I teach six principles, okay? Autonomy, giving, play. And I teach, there's three more and that's emotional intelligence, expressing your desire and taking action, okay? Those are the six pillars that I teach. Now I find principles are much better than teaching techniques. If you've ever been in a fight and you're trying to learn all these different techniques in a street fight, you're gonna just, it's like fury. What do they call it? Where it's just like blind fury. You don't know what to do. The best thing to do is operate from principles. And so those principles that I teach actually help guys navigate them to a place where they can express with them and take the lead, take action. But at all times, it's unconditional and they're not scoring it as a win or a lose. And that's, I mean, did that answer the? Yeah, okay. Guys, I think we're, are we time for one more? Okay, one more question. Yeah, it's gonna be a quick one. John, thank you for sharing. Yeah. Your sunlight. So thanks man. In all of this process and being out, having fun, focusing on the higher purpose and enjoying the night, enjoying the moment. There are moments during this experience when you, you still feel a bit like, I would like to talk to her. She doesn't like to talk. Is there a question or something that brings you back to your higher purpose that you wanna share with us? Okay, so you're saying that if you go out and then suddenly you see this girl, you might go back into the one, right? I wanna result. That's totally normal guys. Like if I'm feeling hungover, I feel down, my cat dies, you know? Like I feel empty. I feel, I'll go into like Pac-Man mode. And so I'm going out trying to get a bit of external validation. I'm not saying I don't go there sometimes because I do, because we're human. But one thing that you have to say to yourself and this is very important is, I say whenever I see girls, I say, I don't own these women. They're not mine to have. All I can do in this moment is just express myself to them. And that takes away a lot of that anxiety, that tension, okay? And then you can think, what's my primary priority in this moment? If it's girls, then you've got it wrong. If it's, I'm in a bar. I should be enjoying myself. I should be listening to the music. I should be vibing with my buddies. That's your primary priority. That's your 99%. And from that 99%, you give 1% out to the women around you. But in that 1%, you can give everything. But if she turns her back on you, you go back into your 99%. I mean, that's power. The picker parties go all in with their poker chips every time that they approach. Even if they're trying to pretend to be like non-needy, that's what they're doing. And of course they're gonna feel the hit. They're gonna feel the loss. Isn't it way more powerful to be already winning and then it's like you're creating a win-win? You see, the zeros, they're losing. The ones, it's a win-lose. And the ones, the tens, it's a win-win. I'm already winning and I'm giving you the opportunity to win with me. Where's the failure here? That's the power point. So I call this social heart history, gentlemen. My website's called artofsocial.co. I take you through that journey, especially guys that have been deep into game. I really help you to come from a more healthy place. And let me tell you guys, this is attractive stuff. Thank you. Give it up for John. Thank you. Thank you.