 The Jack Benny program Fine tobacco is what counts in a cigarette and LSMFT lucky strike means fine tobacco Yes, LSMFT lucky strike means fine tobacco and in a cigarette It's the tobacco that counts year after year at auction after auction Independent tobacco experts men who spend their lives buying selling and handling tobacco Can see the makers of lucky strike consistently select and buy that fine that light that naturally mild tobacco Fine light naturally mild tobacco real lucky strike tobacco fine tobacco That means real deep down smoking enjoyment for you So smoke that smoke a fine tobacco lucky strike so round so firm so fully packed so free and easy on the draw The lucky strike program starring Jack Benny with Barry Livingston Phil Harris Rochester Dennis Day yours truly Don Wilson and our guest stars Victor Moore Peter Lindhase and Frank Capra Rochester's mr. Benny in no mr. Benny took miss Livingston to the movies. Oh, well when he comes back Will you tell him that say Rochester? Did you make a cake or something? I smell melted butter Oh that what you see every time mr. Benny goes to the movies. I make him a bag of popcorn That's ridiculous why doesn't he buy it at the theater with butter and everything it must cost more to make your popcorn at home Theoretically, yes, but actually no, what do you mean? Well, I make two bags and he sells one of them to miss Livingston Oh, I see well In that way you break even break even since the OPA went awkward showing the profit Rochester don't you take a loss on the kernels that don't pop mr. Benny will pop them if he has to take them to a blast furnace Well as long as Jack isn't home. I think I'll run along if you care to wait he ought to be back any minute now They went to the neighborhood theater Gosh Jack, I'm sure glad you took me to see it's a wonderful life. I think it's a marvelous picture. Yeah, yeah I thought the direction was great Jimmy Stewart was sensational. Yeah, sensational Sensational Jimmy gave that part just what it needed. I thought he's acting with superb All right, so it was acting with superb. He's supposed to be a great actor. That's what he got paid for Well, Jack, I saw your last picture. I returned the money So don't be so smart anyway, Mary don't get me wrong I like the picture. It's a wonderful life But it's awfully hard to believe that part where Jimmy Stewart's Angel comes down and shows him what would have happened if he hadn't been born. I don't know. It's too fantastic Oh, you've been mad at pictures ever since they put out bank nights. I Have not it just that I don't oh yeah, I can't stop and look in this jewelry window. Okay Gee what gorgeous jewelry they have here. Uh-huh. Oh, yeah Why look at that beautiful engagement ring, Mary. Are you hinting? Uh-huh? Well, I won't do you any good I'll never wear it Come on, Mary, let's go. No, I want to look at all these things in the window. Okay. Okay. Oh Martha, what is it Emily? Isn't that Jack Benny standing over there? Well, I declare My but he's handsome Every time I see him I get weak and wobbly all over Oh Martha, it's the truth Emily. He really sends me And if I was 20 years younger I'd go Emily who's that girl with me for Danny? Why that's Mary Livingston. Hmm. Look how tight she's holding on to his arm I'd like to go over and pour her hair out. Oh Stop being so irritable. You've been acting like this ever since Van Johnson got married You should talk Emily you broke your baseball bat when Lippy married Lorraine Anyway, I think Jack Benny is great. Here they come Hello, Mr. Benny. Well, well, hello there. Isn't it rather late for you girls to be out? Come on, Mary. Let's go She Mary will share a boulevard looks beautiful at night doesn't it? Yeah all the life and Say Jack, isn't that Frank Capra? Oh, Frank Capra the man who directs the picture. We just saw it's a wonderful life Yes, it is. Hello Frank. Hello Jack Mary Well, this is a coincidence Frank. We just came from seeing your picture really I go to that theater every day You you go to see your picture every day. No, I just go for the newsreel. I love to hear the governors of Georgia talk Mr. Capra, I want to congratulate you on your direction of it's a wonderful life I thought it was great. Thank you, Mary. How'd you like it Jack? Oh, I thought it was fine Frank But that part about the guardian angel was just a little too unbelievable Well, Jack in the picture. I didn't try to show what did happen. I tried to show what could happen if someone had never been born I know for example, what do you think would have happened if you'd never been born? Well, there'd be a lot more money in circulation Mary stop but all in all Frank. I did think it was a very entertaining picture I'm glad you enjoyed it Jack. Well, I had to write along now. Oh just a minute Frank I'm glad we ran into each other because I've been wanting to talk to you about a picture for me for you The uh, you see the studios have all been after me But I thought that you with your great insight into human nature might better capture my personality Jack I'm late already. I think of it Frank think of it Frank Capra presents Jack Benny and King Lear Then there's a tremendous blast of trumpet and the scene opens with me in royal robes walking Majestically toward the throne. Can't you just see it Frank? Can't you? Can't you? Jack, let go of his collar his face is turning blue Oh, oh, I'm sorry Wow, well smog or no smog it's good to be breathing again What? Well, so long King Lear. See you later. Goodbye, Mary. Goodbye Frank Come on, Mary. I'll walk you home. Yes, your majesty. Oh quiet Rochester that you boss. Yes, mr. Wilson dropped by but I told him you're at the movies and he wouldn't wait. Oh Well, I'll see you tomorrow Come here a minute and Rochester, what's that penny on the table? Huh? Oh, man. Why mr. Wilson was here. He stepped into the bathroom and weighed himself Good good. How much how much is mr. Wilson way now? I don't know, but you got a lot of broken tile in the bathroom Hmm It's a wonderful life. Oh very much Rochester, but a little too fantastic, you know the angel and everything Say Rochester, I'm a little sick to my stomach. I'm going to the medicine cabinet and take something There it is a couple of squalors of this and I'll feel much better. It's out of fix me up. Oh God, I dropped the glass Well, I'll just drink a little out of the bottle and oh my goodness Look at that label. This is iodide. Oh Almost poison myself. Oh Boy am I glad I dropped the glass What a lucky accident That was no accident Huh, I knocked the glass out of your hand You're nothing wait a minute How did you get in here? Who are you? I'm your guardian angel What? My guardian angel. Yes, I've been watching over you all of your life I've guided you and I've protected you guided me protecting me. Yes I've governed every move you ever made. Oh You mean it you who kept me from spending my money No, you've done pretty well with that yourself But you saved my life and you don't even know me oh you're wrong Jack I know everything about you Remember when you were seven years old you broke a window and you blamed it on your sister Florence Yeah, yes, that's right. I remember when you were ten years old how proud you were when you put on your first two plays That that was for a school play. Well the players overtake it off Say you you do know a lot of things about me Well angel it was nice you to save my life and come again some time Oh, I can't go yet because you see I was sent down here to prove something to you True what I'm going to show you what would have happened if you had never been born You mean like like what I saw in the picture tonight. Yes come with me. No, no, no, no, I'm not coming with you I'm afraid. Oh, you're nothing to fear. Come on now. Come on. I'm not coming with you. Let go of my arm. Let go of my arm Rochester Rochester Rochester You have no What do you mean I have no Rochester. She's been my butler for ten years. No, he hasn't you've never been born You mean you mean there's no Jack Benny. That's right now come come with me Hey, where are we? What are we doing in this department store? This is the May Company Oh, yeah, and there's Mary behind the stock encounter like she used to be years ago. What is she doing back here? She never left here. You see you were never born to take her away She she she looks good. Of course. He's been eating regularly Oh, this whole thing is crazy. I'm going over to Mary and ask her myself. Oh, Mary Mary. Yes, sir. What can I do for you? What are you doing behind the stocking counter? Why aren't you on the radio? Well, that's a new approach They generally ask me why I'm not in pictures But Mary, please don't you recognize? Don't you know me? Have you forgotten all about our radio work? What radio work? What work are you crazy? What do you do every Sunday afternoon at 4 o'clock? I take a bath. Do you mind? Mary Mary, please listen to me. Oh, thank you not to be so familiar. Please call me by my last name Now listen miss Livingston it's mrs. Klingentheal Mrs. Kerman Klingentheal Mrs. You're married. I can't believe just a little while ago you try to buy me an engagement ring. You can't be married Well, that's my husband. He's the floor walker. What here he comes now Oh, yes, mister mister Is this true? Are you two married? Well, if we're not we certainly gypped the bride and groom program out of a two-week sunny move Oh Stop Mary. This is all a terrible mistake angel angel. Where are you? Just a minute. I'm opening a charging counter What's taking you so long they don't believe my address Never mind that now take me out of here. Take me to Dennis's day. He'll know me. All right Jack. Hold on here we go What are we doing here in New York City? I don't you recognize this place. This is studio H and NBC. Oh, yeah And there's Dennis today day walking up to the microphone. Oh Dennis Dennis sorry pop no autograph I wonder autograph Dennis don't you recognize me? I'm Jack Benny who? Benny Jack Benny listen and it'd be the trees that fill the breeze with rare and magic perfume I don't know about the perfume, but you're singing stinks Angel he doesn't even know me Of course he doesn't know you Jack Benny doesn't exist You're still waiting to be born wouldn't be born. That's ridiculous. Look at my hair. It's great. Yeah, you've been waiting a long time Dennis Dennis think of it. I'm Jack Benny the man you work for oh, no, mr. You're wrong I work for that man over there the one with the baggy eyes. Well, thank you. Thank you and welcome Hey, what's going on here? I've got a program to do and I don't need any outside help Why was there what? Well, you're Fred Allen you were expecting maybe Uncle Remus Wait a minute Fred wait a minute. Don't you pretend you never met me either? I'm sorry. I don't believe I ever had the pleasure Pleasure Fred look at me. I'm Jack Benny The man you hate me me hate anybody Why everyone knows Fred Allen loves the whole world. I love my writers I love the NBC vice presidents and the censors too I love the little lads and lassies who asked me for my autograph as they wiped their little noses on my sleeve And believe me sir. I love you too Angel Angel there must be something wrong Fred Allen doesn't hate anybody Certainly you weren't born yet Wait a minute Fred you and Dennis are just pretending you don't know me But the rest of your cast will the rest of my cash There are no other performers on my program Just Dennis and myself Oh yeah, what about Senator Claggorn and Titus Moody and Ajax Cassidy Why I thought everybody knew Dennis plays all those parts You mean Dennis and Senator Claggorn? I'm from the south son I just got back from a party and I'm in my cup Dixie that is Wait a minute and he's Titus Moody Howdy Bob Dennis and you play Ajax Cassidy too How do you feel playing all those parts Oh terrible terrible terrible terrible terrible And I'm not long for this world Angel there must be someone who knows me I know take me to see Don Wilson He's worked for me for 14 years He'll remember me Don's been with me through thick and thick I mean thin Alright Jack I'll take you to see Mr. Wilson Gee you're such an obliging angel Don't you mind taking me from one person to another? No I get mortals to mortals pay Come on let's go We're in Lexington Kentucky Lexington Kentucky? Yes, there's Mr. Wilson sitting on the porch He owns this big tobacco plantation Hey Don Don Don Wilson Colonel Wilson to you sir What king in Illinois name Benny Nice people Always wish they had a son They had a son it's me Well I don't know anything about that But if you'll excuse me I gotta talk to my tobacco picker Here they come The tobacco picker Yes hello fellas You all Don Colonel Wilson Chemo boy That's my quartet the Fortman I don't know anything about a quartet sir But these boys are happy and they're working That's fine that light That naturally my lucky struck tobacco Don And they keep singing all the time Always singing Count upon the Swannie river Fawdy auctioneer Flandy old folks Angel take me back home There's one more place I can show you Town of this Nashville Nashville Tennessee See where that's where Phil Harris comes from Yeah and this is a night club where he works Phil Harris works in this awful dump Yes you see you weren't born So you never took him away from here Well I'm glad this is where he belongs Let's go in and see him All right follow me right down these stairs That's what a crummy night club Look at the name of it The Ruiz Club What about it Ruiz fell backward to soar That makes very little difference to Mr. Harris He can't even fell frontwards Come on Jack follow me down these stairs Wait all right watch your step If I go down any farther I'll get the bend If there's anyone here to I'm an angel and the further down I go The nearer I get to animate territory There's just a few more steps down Here we are Come with me to Alabama Let's go see my dear old mammy She's frying eggs and brawling hammy And that's what I like about the spout There you can make no mistakey Where those nerfs are never shaky Part to taste their layer cakey And that's what I like about the spout Yes that's why we send you so much thunder We're trying to drown him out Folks here I am again Your favorite master's ceremony Phil Harris Funny thing happening to me today folks Guy walked up to me and said Mr. Harris where'd you get that black eye So I told him it was the birthmark And he said a birthmark and I said yeah I got the wrong birth I explained it to him ladies If you don't get it just let him suffer Let him lay there Don't tell him nothing Well Phil Phil Harris Pardon me folks There's an old heckler down here in the front row Yeah What do you want Bob? Phil look at me Look at me Phil Don't you recognize me? I never saw you before in my life But sir But I'm Jack Benny I'm your boss What do you mean boss I own this joint myself Lock, stock and demi-john That's barrel Don't tell me what to keep my bourbon in All right so you know work for me But what does Alice think about you being here? Who? Alice Faye your wife Alice Faye the moving picture star married to me Yeah Hey waiter What's the idea selling this old gentleman More than one zombie Look I'm not drunk Aren't you married to Alice Faye? Of course I ain't That's my little wife right over there Hey baby Come here I'd like you to meet someone Any friend of yours is a friend of mine's talent boy Wait a minute You should know me You're my girlfriend You're glad as a bisco Glad as a bisco Harris if you please And I never went out with you in my life Look honey maybe you went out with a guy on a blind date I'd never get that blind But you must remember me Look at me Come on Jack I think we'd better be going again Well All right angel But I'm not licked yet I'll prove to you that I was born Well I'll give you one last chance Where do you want me to take you now? Let's see I know Take me to Warner Brothers studio They'll know me there Well Jack here we are at the studio Yeah and there's the executive officer Let's go in and see the Warner Brothers See listen to him laugh Listen to him Why are the Warner Brothers so happy? Because you were never born so You didn't make the horn blows this midnight Oh I see you Where do they go? Where do they... Oh angel Angel Angel where are you? I rushed in here when I heard a blast scream Oh yes yes I just dropped my medicine Your medicine? Pour that bottle in your hand as I died I know I know I was just putting it back Thanks Roger Gentlemen the part of the angel was played by Victor Moore Who will soon be seen in that wonderful picture It happened on Fifth Avenue Brett Allen was impersonated by Peter Lynn Hayes While Frank Capra appeared through the courtesy Of Mr. Capra The bottle of iodine came from the corner drug store Jack will be back in just a minute But first here is my good friend Basil Riesdale As you listen to the chant of the tobacco auctioneer Remember LSMFT LSMFT LSMFT LSMFT Lucky strike means fine tobacco And in a cigarette it's the tobacco that counts Mr. Floyd Green Clay of Brazil's Kentucky Has been an independent tobacco warehouseman for 26 years He said I've seen American buy tobacco that's rife and mild Tobacco with real flavor and melanin And I know you can't beat that fine tobacco For top smoking enjoyment I've smoked luckies myself for 17 years Remember, at auction after auction Year after year Independent tobacco experts like Mr. Clay Can see the makers of Lucky Strike Consistently select and buy that fine That light, that naturally mild tobacco Fine, light, naturally mild tobacco No doubt about it LSMFT Lucky strike means fine tobacco Yes LSMFT Lucky strike means fine tobacco And fine tobacco means real deep down Smoking enjoyment for you So smoke that smoke of fine tobacco Lucky strike So round, so firm, so fully packed So free and easy on the draw Say Rochester Rochester, have you ever had a feeling That there's somebody watching everything you do? You know somebody who knows every move you make Knows everywhere you go Even when you think he doesn't Yes, boy You know who it is? Yes, now we should cut it out I don't mean it Well, NBC, the national broadcasting company