 Hello everyone, I am Narc Survivor. Welcome to my YouTube channel. Before I begin, please hit that thumbs up button down below to show your support. And if you would like to book a one-on-one coaching session with me, you can go to my website at isnarcsurvivor.co.uk. Why Narcissus want to stay friends with you? Even when the relationship ends, the narcissist may still want to stay friends with you, which in my opinion is very strange because I don't believe that you can stay friends with an ex. I believe that it would hold you back and prevent you from moving on. But when narcissists want to stay friends with you, there is a reason for that. And they may also stay in touch with other exes as well. But if you're watching this video, it's unlikely that they would want to stay friends with you because you already know what's going on. You've seen beneath their mask and they don't want to be around anyone who knows who they actually are. But you may have doubts, you may be second guessing yourself, which may leave the door open for them to stay friends with you. And if they're trying to do that with you, you need to be aware of something because narcissists are not concerned about rekindling relationships. They don't care about that, they're only in it for themselves. All they want is attention and validation or anything that may act as a means for them to get it. Which is why they may stay friends with many of their exes because they see them as a means of getting what they want. Since they likely already caused so many problems for them and they left them without any closure, so their exes are seeking answers. They're looking for an explanation for the narcissist's behavior, which makes it very easy for the narcissist to come back and they won't even have to change. They won't have to take responsibility because they've already brainwashed their exes into thinking that they were the problem. So they assume that they can go back to you whenever they like and you will take them back, which is exactly what they want because they want it easy. They don't want to put in any work, they want something easy and convenient, something that involves little effort, which is how they may even leave you for one of their exes as though you never even existed, as though you never meant anything to them after they promised you a future and they told you that they loved you. But then they suddenly went back to their ex and then you realized that what you had with them was fake because they were never connected to you. They were never even concerned about building a relationship and they weren't thinking about the future. All narcissists really care about is what they want right now and what they want is attention and validation because that is their currency, that is what they thrive on and as long as you are unaware they will keep you on the shelf, they will keep you as an option just in case something goes wrong with one of the exes because then you're there, you're ready whenever they need you because they've told you all of these lies, they've told you whatever you want to secure. So it requires little effort for them to do that, which is exactly what they want because narcissists are actually very lazy, they don't want to put in the work, they don't enjoy doing the work. If they had things their way they would just sit on a throne all day while people bring them whatever they want to need because they're only concerned about their own personal consumption using up people's resources whether it's their time, energy or money and no matter how much they consume it's never enough they will always want more because they have a void that can never be filled, they can't be satisfied. So there's never going to be a time where they feel pleased or content with what they have experienced or received where they feel happy because they got what they wanted or needed where they feel like one with the world they're never going to have that moment and this is why it's so confusing and you can't understand what you're doing wrong or why nothing you do is ever enough because you're projecting your feelings and experiences onto them you're making an assumption about their perspective based on how you see and experience the world and you know that you would feel satisfied if you received what you were given to them but their experience is very different they have these insatiable desires that can never be fulfilled they can't be satisfied if they could there would be no problem but they can't and this is why they're always on your case it's why they're always playing the victim it's why they're always begging and pleading and even when they've drained you of everything you've got if you turn around and expect even a fraction of that in return they will see you as arrogant and audacious and they may even call you selfish because they have a void they're an empty vessel so they need everything to be all about them in any moment otherwise they will feel like they're in a fight for their lives they will feel like they can't breathe and for them to even think about reciprocating anything back to you is very tiring and draining because they have very little energy to expend they're constantly running and running on empty which is why you can't even have a relationship with a narcissist it's only ever going to be transactional and it's going to be a one-sided transaction where you're giving everything you have to them there's not going to be any meaning or depth there's not going to be a connection you're just going to be giving them what they need in that moment so even if they do run off to one of their exes they're not going to be rekindling their relationship or having this amazing romantic or sexual encounter where there's this intense enthusiasm devotion passion and appreciation that just doesn't happen with narcissist they don't even care about that and it's not just going to be one person they will have other exes as well to a narcissist people are objects to be owned so that they can be in charge and do whatever they want with them which is why their relationships never last because relationships only work if both partners are in control of themselves otherwise one partner is going to be the puppet master and the other is just going to be a lifeless zombie with no purpose or direction it's just not going to go anywhere it's going to fall apart what even if they do stay together the relationship would be dead it would be non-existent even though they may be physically present but they know how to orchestrate a situation and make it look like they're having a great time without you as though you never meant anything or they were just wasting time with you when it's never like that with a narcissist because that would mean that it meant something with someone else or with another person they weren't wasting time when the reality is that it never means anything it's only ever about convenience it's about whatever is easiest for them because they do not want to change they do not want to be disciplined they just want to remain a child for the rest of their lives without any responsibility and without having to put in the work so essentially they're like bums they're people who get something for nothing people who may otherwise not have money job or a place to live they're derelicts and they only want to be around people who accept them for who they are people who don't expect them to change people who can accept not having a relationship where there's no grind no hustle and they don't have to put in any work this is why they have so many exes because all of their relationships are transactional and if they don't get what they want from one person then they will go to someone else without ever valuing that person or being thankful for what they're getting from them which is why they're always miserable and it's why they always need more because they're never satisfied so even if they manage to get exactly what they wanted from one person in a certain amount of time if they don't get that same amount or more from the next person in a shorter amount of time then they will be even more unhappy so they really just set themselves up to fail and to never be happy about anything because that's not how relationships are supposed to work and it's difficult for them to find new supply especially those that are high grade because it needs to be someone who they can fool someone who is going to do what they want and it takes a lot of time for them to find someone like that and even when they do then they have to learn this person they have to study their body language and facial expressions they have to identify their triggers and this takes a lot of time and energy so it can be very difficult for them to find new supply and this is why they will want to stay friends with you because they may never find someone else like you again you may be as good as it gets for them in their lifetime but they also know that you're not going to be with them forever they know that at some point they're going to drain you to the point where you will have nothing more to give which is why in a normal relationship we well want to invest in the other person so that that doesn't happen but the narcissist isn't going to do that because they know that at some point you're going to figure them out so why would they invest in something that isn't going to last but until that point they will manipulate, lie and gas like you to keep you for as long as possible but once they've drained you completely they will get bored and they won't want you anymore because they view people as objects to be used and once they've used you up they're ready to discard you because they haven't got the time energy or resources to revive you they don't look at things like that they just want you to give them what you can and if they can't get it from you then they will go and try to get from someone else whatever is easier for them whatever is most convenient but whether it's with you or someone else they're not going to stay because they don't have the means to sustain it so there's no reason for them to go back to you unless they can get more out of you so even if they don't stay friends with you and they return to one of the rexes instead it's not because you're insignificant it's just whatever is most convenient whatever will get them what they want so the only reason they're not coming back to you is because they can't manipulate you anymore they can't control you they can't lie to you so that means that you have won you have defeated the narcissist and you shouldn't worry about who they're dealing with because they're only around people who will fall for their games rather than people who they actually value or respect people who don't see that they're a narcissist which means that anything they have is never going to be real because people don't know what they're actually dealing with and if they did know they wouldn't be involved with them because they would know that they're very dangerous they would know that it's not safe thank you for watching if you found this video helpful please give it a thumbs up share your thoughts in the comment section hit the subscribe button to receive the notifications if you would like to support the channel you can donate at paypal.me slash narksurvivor you can book a one-on-one with me on my website it's narksurvivor.uk thank you for watching and i'll talk to you soon