 The narcissist does this before they discard you, you were in love with the narcissist. You wanted to be with them, maybe you wanted to spend the rest of your life with them. And this may seem strange to the people around you. They may wonder how you ended up with an abusive narcissist, but it's because they manipulated you, they love bombed you, they said you're different and special, they said they liked all of these things about you, they told you they loved you, and they wanted to marry you and have children with you, they baited you in, and you were hooked until they eventually began to act differently. They began to treat you differently because they could only maintain their deceptive outward appearance for a certain amount of time, they lacked empathy so they couldn't emotionally connect to you, they couldn't bond and that is how they could move on so quickly because they didn't want to deal with you anymore, you were beginning to figure them out, you were beginning to expose them, but before the narcissist can discard you, they must have someone else lined up, they must have another source of supply that they can move on to, when the narcissist is preparing to discard you, they will no longer compliment you, they will become very ungrateful and unappreciative of you, and then they will begin to insult you and put you down, they will criticize you, when they first targeted you, they told you how special you were, they said you were fun to be around, but now they're insulting you, they're criticizing you, they're devaluing you, they once admired your accomplishments and success, but now they're downplaying it, because they're jealous of it, they feel like that takes something away from them, because they're not really with you, they're not in your corner, they're not on your side, they're already making their exit plan, so if you achieve anything they will be jealous of it, they won't want to hear about it, they will ignore it, or they will come up with a reason for why it isn't that great, they're not going to congratulate you, they're not going to celebrate it, they're going to minimise it, they're going to downplay it, because they don't want to hear it, they're not happy for you, because they're not really with you, so they feel like that's taking something away from them, they're very selfish, they have to be the centre of attention, they want everything to revolve around them, when you achieve something, they feel like you're taking the spotlight away from them, the narcissist is preparing to discard you, you will feel like you don't know who they are, like they're living a double life, like there's two different sides to them, they will act differently in public than they do when they're alone with you, they will be angry and mean when they're around you, because they can't maintain their deceptive outward appearance for a long period of time, and they will show you who they really are, because they're always around you, so they will become cold and distant, they will lack affection and warmth, they will not pay attention to you, they will ignore you, and it will feel like everything you do irritates them, you will be walking on eggshells, you will become extremely cautious about your words and actions, you will be very careful not to offend or upset them, because they get angry and offended very easily, at this point they will no longer want to spend much time with you, they will no longer want to participate in activities that you used to enjoy together, they won't talk to you as much, they will give you the silent treatment, because they don't know how to function in a relationship, they can't function in a healthy environment for long periods of time, they make some feel uncomfortable, they make some feeling secure, so they will try to cause more drama and chaos, because that gives them supply, you will once they're willing source of supply, you listen to all of their problems, you gave them whatever they wanted, you provided them with a sense of stability and security, but then you started to figure them out, and then you were no longer giving them supply, because you no longer validated the illusions of their false self, so now they have to coerce you, now they have to extract supply from you, by creating drama and starting arguments out of nothing, by playing games, because now that you figured them out, as long as they can keep you off balance, it makes them feel stable and secure, which is why they won't give you direct answers, they won't give you closure, they don't want to solve any problems, because then you'd feel mentally balanced, you'd feel stable and secure, and then it would be affecting them, because they can't function in that type of environment once you know who they are, so they have to keep you guessing, they have to catch you off guard, they have to play games, they have to create tension, they have to play with your emotions, because once you've figured them out, that's the only way that they can feel sane, which is why they won't want to solve problems, they won't want to create a sense of resolution, because someone has to be affected, and it's either you or them, they understand that you want and can function in a healthy environment, because you're being authentic and sincere, but they can't function in that type of environment because they're fake, they're misleading you about their true intentions, so the only way they can survive in that type of environment is by keeping you off balance and making you question yourself, you are the source of truth and authenticity in that situation, so you become the enemy, and the only way they can win is by turning you against yourself, by manipulating you and gaslighting you, by confusing you and making you question what you believe to be true, which gives them narcissistic supply, it provides them with a sense of stability and security, it makes them predictable, which is why they feed into it, they keep the drama and chaos going, they don't want it to stop, because that keeps them in a position of power and control over you, it maintains that authority over you, so they will play games, they will play with your emotions, and if you continue to question and confront them, and you have all of the evidence in the world to why they're bad and they're wrong, eventually they will just ghost you, they will discard you, you may text or call them, you may message them on social media, but they're not going to respond, they're not going to have a normal conversation with you, because it's run its course, it's done all it needed to do, it served its purpose, they gave you a puzzle, they gave you a certain amount of time to figure things out, but they withheld some of the pieces from you, and in that time that you were trying to make sense of things, they got what they wanted from you, and just as you started to realise that things weren't adding up, they ghosted you, they discarded you, they ran off with the goods, and it's likely that they will never return, unless they think they can repeat the cycle again, unless they think they can get more out of you. Thank you for watching, I hope this video resonates with you, please like, comment, share and subscribe, if you would like to donate, my PayPal link is in the video description, coaching inquiries, you can email me at coaching at NARC Survivor the Cuddy UK, thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon.