 Romans 7 beginning at verse 14 reading to verse 25 for we know that the law is spiritual but I am carnal sold under sin for what I am doing I do not understand for what I will to do that I do not practice but what I hate that I do if then I do what I will not to do I agree with the law that it is good but now it is no longer I who do it but sin that dwells in me for I know that in me that is in my flesh nothing good dwells for to will is present with me but how to perform what is good I do not find for the good that I will to do I do not do but the evil I will not to do that I practice now if I do what I will not to do it is no longer I who do it but sin that dwells in me I find then a law that evil is present with me the one who wills to do good for I delight in the law of God according to the inward man but I see another law in my members warring against the law of my mind and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members oh wretched man that I am who will deliver me from this body of death I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord so then with the mind I myself serve the law of God but with the flesh the law of sin now Paul has been instructing the Roman Church concerning the grace of God and he has clearly made it plain to them that it's God's grace that changes lives God's grace has been referred to as his unmerited undeserved unearned favor and his unmerited favor transforms a person from the inside out now it's not the result of our trying to be good it's not a result of me following certain rules regulations it's not found in me attempting to obey certain things that I have been taught in and of itself the way that I have a relationship with the Lord is not going to be the result of keeping rules but it comes through faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and so Paul has been contrasting grace with law and he has made it very clear that there is a purpose in the law but it's not by keeping the law that I'm going to have a transformed interior that comes through faith in Christ now in Acts chapter 13 verses 38 and 39 we read therefore let it be known to your brethren that through this man is preached to you the forgiveness of sins and by him everyone who believes is justified from all things from which you could not be justified by the law of Moses so it wasn't through the adherence to a particular set of rules a code of laws but it's through faith in Christ and that's the point that Paul has been making now many could not accept what Paul was teaching they argue that you needed rules in order to please God so Paul argued that the law was good indeed because it identified our sin and also because the law reveals our savior the law is good Paul was arguing because it gave us God's mind and what is right and what is wrong and the law is good but God's grace is far better because we cannot totally obey the law of Moses so how does grace affect us how does grace affect the way that you see yourself does God's grace give you a deep sense of arriving as a spiritual person because there are those who would say or argue that seeing that we don't need the law then we don't need to to follow anything that has been codified in any sense of the other word we're just totally free to do what we will and continue in that way and go to heaven and and anybody who would have this idea that that you haven't fully arrived while you must not have come to a full sense of what real faith is and what grace truly is there are many people that I've encountered over the years who think that if you have a sobriety a soberness of mind towards the things of God that you must not know God very well you must not have the joy of the spirit you might find this interesting that when I was a candidate to be ordained in the ministry as a pastor back in 1979 that the board was assembled and they interviewed me and one of the board members said to me David frankly I hesitate to to recognize you to ordain you he said because frankly brother you just don't seem to have any joy and I remember smiling at him when he said that and getting up and walking up to him and and hitting him with a bat no I didn't I just wanted to I would have enjoyed that but he said you know you don't have any joy and as if as if smiling all the time and and laughing all the time is a symbol of knowing Jesus I never understood it then I don't understand it now one of the requirements for a man to be an elder is sobriety to be soberness of mind and that should have been recognized as being an airmark of somebody who's moving with the Lord the bottom line is that you if you get closer to the Lord may find yourself more aware you will find yourself more aware of your own condition this is what Paul is speaking about here in this particular portion of Scripture those who are moving closer to Jesus actually have the joy of salvation of course but they have a sobriety they have a soberness they have an awareness and one of the things they're aware of is what it took for God to save them and also they're aware of their own selves and they're also aware of how far they fall short of being what they truly in their heart of hearts would love to be and Paul is going to be speaking concerning that in this passage here now as we look at this here in Romans chapter 7 there's a lot of discussion concerning the person being spoken of in this portion of Scripture there are some who believe that Paul is speaking of someone who simply doesn't know the Lord they say that the one being described here in Romans 7 14 through 25 obviously doesn't know Jesus Christ and so as they're saying that they'll point out various things notice verse 14 they'll say this cannot be a person knows the Lord because look what he says we know that the law is spiritual but I am carnal sold under sin notice verse 18 I know that in me that is in my flesh nothing good dwells notice verse 24 oh wretched man that I am who will deliver me from this body of death so they'll say based on this it's evident he's not speaking of a believer then they point to what is already written in the previous chapter in chapter 6 because if you remember chapter 6 verse 2 chapter 6 verse 2 reveals that believers have died to sin chapter 6 verse 6 states that believers are no longer slaves to sin chapter 6 verse 7 says believers are freed from sin and then chapter 6 verse 11 communicates that believers are dead to sin you've died to sin no longer slaves the sin you're freed from sin you are dead to sin so with this in mind they would say Paul cannot possibly be writing of a believer in Christ but then again you have others who would argue differently others say Paul is undoubtedly speaking about a Christian believer chapter 7 verse 15 describes someone who wants to please God and hates doing evil chapter 7 verse 18 points out that that he humbly recognizes no good dwells in him and then again in verse 25 that verse reveals that this person gives thanks to God through Jesus and he serves him as his Lord none of those things pertain to unbelievers and therefore the argument would be that this is being spoken of a redeemed man now if it's a redeemed man then once again who is he speaking of well that would be quite obvious to us it seems obvious that Paul is writing of a believer and that he's speaking of himself why would we say that if you look at verses 14 through 25 and I just read this to you he speaks in the first person 38 times 38 times I myself me 38 times in these few verses he is speaking of himself now some think that more spiritually mature people will grow past a sense of unworthiness they believe that such an attitude is beneath the genuinely mature Christian and I have had that stated to me in the past again I mentioned that somebody had said to me I really don't think we should ordain you because you don't seem to have joy I remember giving a Bible study when this church was very young and an individual walked up to me after the service and said that was a good Bible study but it was so serious you're so sober when you do that and I've had comments like that over the years and there are those who who think that when you go to church you're supposed to walk out you know skipping and and and laughing and all and and from my perspective I think that it's great to have the joy of the Spirit and it's great to have burdens uplifted of course but but we're not discussing that in this passage what we're speaking about in this passage is is what are the genuine internal struggles that a believer can actually have and still be a believer and in is this an airmark of somebody who has a solid faith in Christ or is it somebody who's got a disproportionate sense of residual guilt what is it that's being spoken of here in this particular passage you see it is true believers are forgiven believers are new in Jesus Christ we are overcomers because of him but it is also true that the closer you get to Jesus the more humbled you become in his presence when I was growing up I'm still growing up at my age but when I was younger attempting to grow up my mom had something that she used when she applied her makeup it's a makeup mirror I don't even know if they still have those things anymore when I go outside sometimes and I look around I wonder if they have makeup mirrors anymore but anyway it had these different lights you know different intensity of light you could have like bright sunlight and then another light that's a little less and all the way down to indoor light and and I discovered something as a kid I would use my mom's makeup mirror to apply my makeup no to comb my hair I would turn it on and and I used to wear a pompadour and so I would spray it and then I would form it you know until it was just right and and I discovered something with the makeup mirror if I had the the light intensity of the light real low I always look good I always look good man you looking good but when I turned the light fully on I saw all kinds of things that clear still could not fix because the light shows the imperfection right it does everybody looks beautiful at three o'clock in the dark in the morning but during the full bright sunlight when we walk out after this service and the lights out there we see ourselves for what we are everybody thinks of themselves as being beautiful but the light of the Word of God reveals to us what we are you see most people like to live in the darkness but God's light wants us to have those things revealed so a person who says you know I I just don't feel good about where I'm at with the Lord if they're sincerely pursuing him that's not a negative and anybody who would come and argue and say oh you're so serious it's probably not as serious about their own faith as he should be it's not that we should walk around with sackcloth ashes and whips beating ourselves daily but it is that I should be aware of who I am in the light of who he is and the closer you draw to Jesus the more aware of yourself you become and that result is it for you to run around saying oh how terrible evil I am it's part of it will say oh Lord I have been evil but it also is but God you're so righteous and I want to serve you and please you and instead of me putting my eyes on myself when I put my eyes on him I have a tendency of seeing myself in his reflection you see Christians who are maturing in their faith become sensitive to sin for various reasons because we're living in what is called a dynamic tension it's a tension between the now and the not yet we are not what we want to be but we're not what we're going to be either so it makes us sensitive to our shortcomings it provokes us to humility and and it makes us sensitive to sin because we know that sin grieves God it grieves the spirit of God Ephesians 4 30 makes that clear grieve not the spirit of God and and so we know that that sin grieves God and we know that sin also blocks my communication with the Lord in prayer it affects my prayer life because Peter said in 1 Peter 3 12 the eyes of the Lord are upon the righteous his ears are attended to their prayer the face of the Lord is against those who do evil I know that my sin is going to disrupt my fellowship with God and with others that's why if I walk in the light as he is in the light I have fellowship one with another and in the blood of Jesus Christ the son cleanses us from all sin and so I know that these things are true I know that that sin will will rob me of the joy of salvation Psalm 51 12 says it like this restoring to me the joy of thy salvation see so I know that sin grieves the spirit of God it affects my prayer life it disrupts fellowship it robs me of the joy of salvation and therefore I am as a believer to take it seriously and not to disregard it and so sin is ever present it's ready to rule a believer so we cannot take its influence and impact lightly that's what Paul's talking about even though we may be born again there is still a struggle internally for domination and it's been referred to as the war within now Paul is speaking concerning this in verse 14 notice verse 14 when he says we know that the law is spiritual but I am carnal sold under sin he says that the law is spiritual because the law deals with spiritual principles of life and salvation and the law reveals that it's not only my actions that are unacceptable it's my motives and the inclinations of my nature that are unacceptable it's not simply the things that I do because a lot of people have a tendency of cleaning up the outside the Pharisees were very good at that time of doing that they'd stand in street corners and pray they would give ostentatiously they would fast to be known by men and Jesus said look at them they do the three basic things that religious people do in Jewish society that are deemed religious activities fasting prayer giving all of those are things that believers do but he said they do it to be seen by men they would wear a particular robe and they would broaden the edge of it so that people would see that they were of a religious sort they'd wear what were called phylacteries and they were known for their religious symbols that they wore but Jesus speaking of them said you're like white wash tombs you're clean on the outside but inside you're filled with decay because it's all exterior and it's not hard it's not hard to have an exterior kind of religiosity a lot of people have that oh we go to church we carry a Bible we have bumper stickers we like certain music and all of those things it's exterior well Paul is saying listen it goes deeper than that it's not simply taking care of the outside because because the word of God and Jesus himself speaking in such a way reveals that it's it's what's going on inside that God is concerned about Matthew 5 27 and 28 as an example Jesus said you've heard that it was said of those of old you shall not commit adultery but I say to you whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart if you have the opportunity to do it you're going to do it you've already committed it the act is as good as done even though you haven't consummated it with the physical activity why because it's the interior that Jesus is looking at and the heart is what is he's concerned about so he says the law is spiritual because it reveals my motives he says but I'm carnal sold under sin I am still living here on earth I'm dealing with the desires that are sinful now he's not saying that he does all his inclinations that are being provoked within him he is saying that he's still imperfect he deals with his flesh daily he's talking about a warfare that takes place in the heart of a believer you see you can love God deeply but still have desires that war within you that's because you haven't entered into heaven yet you haven't entered into perfection so that war continues in 1st John 1a it simply says it like this if we say we have no sin we deceive ourselves the truth's not in us so sin tates everything we do it frustrates our desire please God and Paul is speaking about that notice 1st 15 he says for what I am doing I do not understand for that for what I will to do that I do not practice so I find myself doing what I don't want to do my desire is to measure up to God's law but in reality I still fail to do so I want to fulfill both the spirit and the letter of the law but I but I can't now he's not battling a besetting sin he's not feeling guilt over past sins sometimes we may be held captive to past sins we think that we've never changed we'll never change and sometimes we have people whispering in our ear you're still the same as you've always been and you might be captive to your past Paul is not dealing with that Paul is not dealing with low self-esteem he doesn't have low self-worth problems of any sort in regards to his past he knew it's past he knew it's done he knew it's over the blood of Jesus Christ God son cleans him from all sin he knew that like the psalmist said in Psalm 103 12 as far as the east is from the west so far as he removed our transgressions from us Paul knew that God through Jesus Christ had washed him clean he was a brand new creation in Christ Jesus old things were passed away and so when he would write concerning that reality he was very clear about it when he wrote to Timothy in 1st Timothy 1 12 through 16 he said it like this he said I thank Christ Jesus our Lord who has enabled me because he counted me faithful putting me into the ministry although I was formerly a blasphemer a persecutor and an insolent man but I obtained mercy because I did it ignorantly and unbelief and the grace of our Lord was exceedingly abundant with faith and love which are in Christ Jesus this is a faithful saying worthy of all acceptance that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners of whom I am cheap however for this reason I obtained mercy that in me first Jesus Christ might show all-long suffering as a pattern to those who are going to believe on him for everlasting life I was the chief of sinners but God used me as a template as an example so that people might say even he who is insolent arrogant persecuting the church into the death even he could be forgiven he says and God showed me his mercy so no Paul was not dealing with residual guilt he was not running around saying oh look at what I've been I'll never get over that at all he was simply saying that he in the past had done certain things but his awareness of what it cost Jesus had humbled him he says in verse 16 if then I do what I will not to do I agree with the law it's good you see my desire to do the right thing reveals that the law is doing its job my internal desire to please God reveals I've been born again you see when you begin to mature in Christ your desire to please God does not decrease your desire to please God actually begins to increase the things that you when you're a new Christian might not have much of a create much of an impact on you in the sense of like you feeling real bad about it there may be certain things that you continue to do without even really any thought about it you haven't been taught yet about what is pleasing to the Lord and so you might continue to do certain things and make excuse for it but when you're in the word of God guys when you begin to fellowship when you begin to have friends who have walked with the Lord for a while and you begin to have the influence of God's word his spirit and those who love him in your life you begin to realize that certain things are not pleasing to God and you begin to move away from those things and it's a very natural thing that occurs bottom line is as you begin to desire to please God more but at the same time he says in verse 17 you understand it is no longer I who do it but sin that dwells in me so there will be an internal struggle and that will be an internal struggle to be obedient he saying I retain a natural inclination towards a life of sin but I no longer naturally approve the sins that are still produced by my flesh I don't want to do those things anymore Paul when he was writing in Galatians 5 verse 17 said this he said the flesh lust against the spirit the spirit against the flesh these are contrary the one to the other so that you cannot do the things that you would there's a war that takes place within you aren't what you want to be you haven't grown to that place and you can get to the point in your life where you're frustrated even there's a sense in you that says I am tired of this I don't want to be this way anymore so he wasn't in terrible sin he just couldn't do the things always that he wanted to do he desired to serve the Lord completely and it grieves him that he's not always successful now in verse 19 he says the good that I will to do I do not do but the evil I will not to do that I practice now if I do what I will not to do and it is no longer I who do it but sin that dwells in me I find that a law that evil is present with me the one who wills to do good for I delight in the law of God according to the inward man but I see another law in my members warring against the law of my mind and bringing me into captivity to love sin which is in my members my natural desires are not to please God they actually go against pleasing him and obeying him I haven't arrived but I have a sense that I have further to go so I want to live a victorious life now how do I live a victorious life how am I going to be able to grow in the things of the Lord I need to as a believer I need to abide and walk in the grace of God and in his power I need the power of the Holy Spirit in my life I need to take God at his word I need to trust in the Lord I need to daily cling to him just like it says in in Joshua 22 5 where it says take careful he to do the commandment of the commandment and the law which Moses the servant of the Lord commanded you to love the Lord your God to walk in all his ways to keep his commandments to hold fast to him serve him with all your heart with all your soul so we come to Christ and when you come to Jesus Christ he forgives you of all your sin he cleanses you from all unrighteousness he makes you a new creation and he gives to you an ability through the power the Holy Spirit to live a victorious life yes but I need to to rely in him on a daily basis it's like the man of that God had told the children of Israel to collect and to to live on he said on a daily basis collect the man on the six day collect twice as much because you're not to work on the seventh day but what he was saying is I can give to you your daily bread and it's something you need to sustain you on a daily basis that's why Jesus would teach us he who is the bread of life would teach us to pray daily give us this day our daily bread that we might continue to be sustained by the power of God in our devotion to him and in our walk with him but he has given to me what is necessary for me to live it says in 2nd Peter 1 3 his divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness through the knowledge of him who called us by glory and virtue so he has made it possible for us to have that now what we rely on isn't our efforts but on his grace because we know that his grace is enough there's an instance in 2nd Corinthians 12 or the apostle Paul is writing concerning something that he had it's referred to as a messenger from Satan that has been sent to buffet him it's called a thorn in the flesh that word thorn in the original language is not just a thorn like you see on a rose but it is a tense stake and he says I'm impaled by this thorn and he says I asked God three times to release me from it and he said God gave me an answer in 2nd Corinthians 12 9 he said to me my grace is sufficient for you for my strength is made perfect in weakness most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities that the power of Christ may rest upon me rather than running away from these things I embrace the reality of it and I know that God is using it in my life for good teaching me to rely on his strength and to be aware of my own weakness now a mature believer will grow to understand that instead of constantly saying get me out of here I need to get out of this the situation what we do is we seek the Lord for his relief but at the same time we grow and understanding of what he's training us in what he's teaching us to do and what to experience of that we might be a help to somebody else on one occasion I went to speak to my own pastor Chuck Smith and Marie and I were going through something and I wanted his counsel and I was seated there speaking to him and I shared something about the length the duration of of this struggle that we'd gone through and and Chuck said well you know what he said some things you have to go through in order to learn and I said to him I said pastor I said can't I read a book or something to help me understand that he said no he said some things you go through that you might became that you might not only be comforted but that you might be one can bring comfort to those who need comfort in their time so God uses these things to increase and strengthen you God uses these things to make you into the vessel that he chooses and shape you into that vessel that he can use and so God's grace is sufficient in the midst of all the struggles in the midst of the terrible times in the midst of the trying times of the painful times in the midst of the awareness that we can have of ourselves and where we're at and what we're not doing what we ought to be doing in the struggle within that we have that war that's going on what we do in the midst of that is determined to stay in God's word on a personal level we remain strong by by staying in our devotional life getting up in the morning and taking time before you do anything else to read the word of God we commit ourselves to the studies to grow I don't know if you appreciate this church very much some do some don't some are visitors some will never come back I understand the dynamics of churches I'll tell you this this church would not exist if it weren't for God using my mom and my dad to awaken in me a desire to teach the word this church as it is right now when you walk in you see this building you see 13 and a half acres of property you see buildings all over the place cafes bookstores children's ministry you see so much that exists you may think that it just basically always was always there it was not always there that is something that God gave us vision for over the years and it's what has happened over the years since we've planted this church but this church really didn't begin here on this location this church really began in September of 1973 in the city of Norwalk and it began with a mother and a father a dad and a mom my mom and my dad who when I had gotten out of the military and I had come home and I'd seen that they weren't growing in their faith in Christ and I'd been gone for almost two years and they were not maturing it began when I came home and I began to sorrow over the fact that they weren't growing and I made a determination that somehow I was going to help them and went to Biola and when I went to Biola and in 1973 as a Christian service assignment I began to teach home Bible studies and my mom and my dad as well as my sisters would were the original members of that Bible study my mom was part of my Bible studies from the time I began she was a part of the very first one I ever gave and my mom was part of Bible studies for years and years and years my sister Rebecca wrote me today and as mentioned my mama went home to be with the Lord on Thursday and she went to be with Jesus at 1216 in the afternoon my radio program goes on in the Albuquerque area at 1130 from 1130 to noon my sister Becky turned on my radio program so that my mom though she was in a coma could listen my mom in her last few weeks had slipped and slipped and slipped further and further and further to the point where she was sleeping most of the day and finally went into a comatose state and Becky wrote me today and she said David I didn't tell you this she said I wasn't ready to but I'm telling I'll tell you now she said on Thursday I turned on your program turned the volume on so mama could hear and when the volume was loud she said mama who'd been comatose stirred and she opened her eyes and she looked around the room because she heard your voice and the last thing mama heard before she went home was your Bible was a Bible study that you gave that welcomed her into the presence of Jesus Christ my mama would have loved and I say this with passion and I hope it doesn't come off wrong my mama would have loved to been able to be where you are right now my mom would have loved that she moved 12 years ago to Albuquerque she missed me and this church every day that she remained alive she would listen to me every day she would put me on the computer to hear me speak I would and in her last days I I recorded prayers so they could put earphones on her ears so she could hear her her son whom she loved pray for her she would watch me and she would listen to me and she had such a joy in the spirit that God had given to her because of the Word of God mama would be here on a Wednesday night if she could mama would be here on a Sunday night mama would be here for everything that she could be part of why because David was her her son and he's a pastor no because mama had a hunger for the things of God we who are healthy we make choices to do what we want to do choose the right things I don't want to pastor a lukewarm church I do not want to pastor a group of people who think that once in a while is good I'm a Jesus freak as old as I am I am a Jesus freak I believe there's only one reason for life and that's Jesus Christ to serve him that's the bottom line and I've never wanted and I've never wanted to pastor a group of people who don't care I want you to look at your own hearts I'm asking my church I've done this all three services today where do you really stand with Jesus when you hear that there's an opportunity to serve to worship to be in prayer listen there is a group of people called Islam there's long assists Muslims who the devoted ones pray five times a day for your destruction they want the advance of Islam and they want Christianity which they consider to be a lesser faith they want it to be overthrown and destroyed through the power of Islam you know that perhaps you don't they pray five times a day you can go through some all and you will see a devoted Muslim on their face praying towards Mecca and they do that five times a day to remember that their whole day ought to be in awareness of the presence of whom they call God the church has a prayer meeting nobody comes why because it's not entertaining it's not fun it doesn't fulfill my needs something's wrong with the church in America something's wrong with churches all through the nation and something's wrong even with this one I am saying this as a pastor I'm saying this as one who loves you check your hearts see what really matters to you because I guarantee you have the people listening to me right now could care less the other half are listening with half an ear and there's only a small percentage that really care are you part of that small percentage now it doesn't matter to me if you stay in this fellowship or not it's up to you go where God calls you I didn't church so I could fill this place up so anybody who thinks that way doesn't know me what I want is saints what I want is on fire believers what I want is an army marching for Jesus Christ I want people to reach into the world and save the loss that's what I want and that's what I've always wanted and so I'm asking you to check your own heart I'm asking you to look within because we make a lot of excuses in our own hearts as to why we do or do not do certain things what I'm saying is I want you to be on fire for Jesus Christ and that's my guarantee to you every time you come to this church I will do my best to exhort you and encourage you to love you into loving him because that's all that matters listen one of these days I'm going to be in heaven because of Jesus one of these days I will see my mom one of these days I will see my dad again I will see my grandfather and my grandmother and others that have come to faith in Christ through ministry that I have performed or that was performed by others faithfully you see and I want you to be there too I want us together to rejoice in the things of Jesus Christ so the passion in my heart is is firm and it's been there since I was 20 years old at my age at 62 it's still a flame it will be there until the day that Jesus says come home my good and faithful servant my guarantee to you is I will always tell you the truth and my desire for you is to follow Jesus Christ with all of your heart with all of your strength and yes you'll have battles within and yes there'll be struggles don't take the easy way out firm up in Christ and say I'm gonna make it I will do it with Jesus I can do all things I will be victorious I will enter into the kingdom of God that's the only way it's gonna happen that's the only way see Paul was Paul was a man who said I see what I am and I don't want what I see oh wretched man that I am who will deliver me from this body of death what do you mean well murder victims would be strapped to the murderers if I were a murderer I killed a person and it was demonstrated and I was caught they would take that man's body that I'm the man I murdered they would strap him to me and he would slowly but surely decay he would putrify and his decay would begin to infect my body I was literally killed by the one who killed me that I killed rather I was killed by the one I killed his dead body rotting on mine killed me oh wretched man that I am I've got this this body of death I've got this thing within me this inclination to evil who will deliver me from that thanks be to God Jesus Christ Jesus sets us free no matter what it may be that I'm going through and no matter how as I see myself and say Lord I haven't arrived God says no you haven't but one day you will so Paul is simply saying we are to live by faith awaiting ultimate deliverance God is the one who rescues us and we are rescued because of him so if you're one of these who says Lord I just want more of you God I I don't like what I have been I don't like where I've been I don't like how I feel sometimes God I just want to please you then you're of the same kind of spirit that Paul had it's not something negative guys it's something that actually motivates you to have a deeper walk with Christ that has been in my life very true you know I weep sometimes and I'll close with this I weep sometimes you hear me give my testimony some things out of my testimony and I can tear up and I get emotional because I know what I was I know what I did I never want to go back but it also humbles me to realize how much God love me to give your son to change a wretch like me to transform me into somebody who can help other people perhaps some of you even to love him more that's my greatest desire and that began when I got saved and I went across the street and I told some neighbors you need Jesus and I went into my parents Dan and I said to them God bless you I love you praise the Lord and brought my sister Madeline to Christ and three weeks later brought my mom and my dad to Jesus and then couple years later my brother got saved and then a young woman came into my Bible study who got saved who became my wife and then my sister Becky who struggled with lesbianism for 28 years got set free by the power and glory of God through the gospel of Jesus Christ it is the power of transformation and if that means that sometimes I will say oh wretched man that I am and praise God for it because he delivers us and I want him to deliver you to I want your life to be solid with Jesus Christ that is my solemn pledge to you and my desire of the pastor this church if you want to go with me on a journey and strap on because we're going and if you don't want to I hope there's a place you can do that in but I'm gonna follow Jesus