 But if good dude disappoints me, a good dude lets me know that I'm not really adding anything to his life. That is a shot to my ego, my heart, my chest, my lungs. You know, I talked about that last time and that's one of the clips and they were like, what did you do when you figured out you were the problem? Did you apologize? I did many times. But I can say something that I learned the two men and it's been two, don't y'all bash me. I fumbled two good men. I know that in my, in my lifetime, in my journey, both of them challenged me as a woman. They based, put a mirror in my face and said, you need to fix that. Why would you do that? Why do you act like that? Why do you talk like that? And I was like, oh no, you know, oh no, I'm me, you know, you can't. But the fact that the matter was, it was like, okay, you won't get it right. Deuces, you know, I'm out. And there I was to sit in that the first time it didn't click, but the second time it did. But there I was now as 40, 40 year old woman trying to figure that out. So you know, I hear the conversation a lot in reference to how a woman project with a real man should be. I hear like a real, if you're a real man and they'll follow up with something like you'll do this, that and the third. They don't know. That has to do with contribution to her lifestyle. No, if you're a good trick, that's what she's saying. Yeah, that's exactly because, but the essence of a real man is one who's willing to work through your trauma with you, help you elevate and alleviate. That's what a real man is. He's not one that's going to say, Hey, you know, because you look good, you fine, you got all this, you know, the status, you know, I'm happy for you and clap his hands, you know, because he know the person he's living with, you know, the people on the outside don't, he's providing what you need. He's providing what you need. And that one piece of that desire that I was talking about earlier that you didn't know that you needed what you need. Yeah. And you can tell the difference of a man and a woman, because woman, no woman, if they know woman, they know the woman's past. And if she get what a man that has took her and descended her, no woman know, because they paying attention. They like he did that. But when she don't recognize that, when she get boastful and big headed, then she loses the respect for that man that helped her. And that happens in a lot of cases. It's like, hold on, now you, you wasn't like that before you met me. You know, but now you like that. And it's like, Oh, now there's a sense of I would have, I would have gotten like that eventually. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. But this I have a non popular opinion. I going back to the whole water analogy. It is funny. Look at that. I think I think women are the embodiment of chaos. And what I mean by that, I mean, in the best way possible, you know, creation happens in chaos, you know, biblically, scientifically, even childbirth, chaotic process. Beauty comes out of chaos. So I don't necessarily mean it in a bad way, but I also mean it in a bad way. And I say that to say, women just left to y'all's devices are chaotic. Let's be real, you bleed once a month. I don't know how you remain a normal person when blood comes out of your generals once a month, and that's normal. Right. But with that being said, I think men are in a sense supposed to be a river, a river bed, right? We're supposed to guide that chaotic energy, right? And I think because we've been so disconnected from one another, y'all are just flowing every goddamn way and crashing every goddamn way and breaking rocks. I'm telling you, you tsunami's out here. And I think, you know, when we look at it, the male-female essence was created or is intended to guide children. And now I think that's why you're having so many men with that chaotic female energy. And we call them gangsters. But they're women. If you're being real, they're triggered easily. You know, they're ready to crash out. Now they're women with muscles, which is dangerous and testosterone, but they're women nonetheless. So how can we get back to that symbiotic relationship of river and river bed? I don't know. I saw a post. I think I might have sent that to you too. It was talking about how men match energy with women now. Women like women, women are something like, we don't want a man that matches our energy. Because y'all know it's chaotic. Y'all know, beat down and shit on me, oh god, and in my like, I read it and I started reading the comments of it. And it was like, first of all, it was men matching women and women's energy and women like, well, this is what we talking about, blah, blah, blah. But for me, all I kept thinking about was what the hell kind of energy are they matching from you that makes you not want them? Because why wouldn't you want your partner to match your energy? Why wouldn't you want somebody that's going to match whatever you're bringing? So in saying this post, when you thought, girl, you thought you ate to someone who understands what you're saying, you're saying you want a man to deal whatever shit you put out there. And then, and if he bucks up back at you, it's a problem. So you get to be chaos and he has to be peace and calm all those times that might, like, how do you expect to find who you need and who you want when you want to basically be a bitch? And he gets to just deal with it because he has a penis. Like, I can't make that make sense. So we said that men are a reflection of woman toxicity. Then they said, we toxic. So we just a reflection of that. How do we explain that? And I think it kind of coincides with the River River bed analogy, because the river can widen the river bed, but the river bed guides the river, right? So it's a symbiotic relationship. Like a woman can change a man, right? Now, I don't want you to go in there thinking you're going to change a plumber into a damn CEO, but you can expand the man. You can make a man. Like I said, if you if you see him as a bigger, better version of himself, a man will live up to a man will live up to your expectations, right? So a woman has power in that sense. However, just like Bruce Lee talks about like water, if you put water in a cup, it becomes the cup. You're meant to conform to me, not the other way around, right? And once you conform to me, you can expand me from the inside. But this idea and we see all these lists coming out, don't take me to XYZ or don't do this and real men is real men that and it's like, this shit is ass backwards and it's not going to work. And when you come across a real man, he's going to look at you like you got shit on your face. That's crazy. That's that's like was one of the most ridiculous things that I like seen on the internet recently, you know, with that list, but yeah, it's crazy because bro, you can take me to McDonald's when I'm craving some nuggets and fries and I'm cool with it. You can take me to the grocery store and walk down the aisle. We are we are bonding. We are we're dating and I've been telling I've been telling I've been telling dudes because this is where we fuck up at. We see certain things and we believe y'all. I'm like, yo, you believe it. It's they it's they full of shit, right? Even these women posting these especially these women posting his baby daddy is none of that. He took her to Wendy's. So it's bullshit. And it's like when it's not sustainable either. It's not sustainable. But the reality is, and it's part of y'all's chaos. Women will change their rules for men that they actually like for sure. I've I've come across with me. Yeah, I'm saving myself. Okay. Well, see, I'm raising a son. My son is a damn near man. He's 17. And I'm trying to teach him how to be a better man on my own. We all know that's hard. I cannot do that. I cannot do that. Yeah. So I'm showing him not how to treat a woman. But I'm helping him to understand a woman. So that he doesn't so that he doesn't get into this mindset of I'm very happy. I really like this girl. And she's she's the one. I don't want him to just settle. So that's what I mean about that. But like, yeah, this is what I say. A woman can teach a man how to swim, but he can't she can't teach him how to fish. That's true. Right. Fish don't know they're in water, right. And for all intents and purposes, you're a woman, you're a fish, right. With your scenario, I see two outcomes that usually happen. Either you raise future, unfortunately, like he knows how to treat a woman enough to manipulate them. Or you raise this idealistic boy and I've seen this play out to where like he's the one who's getting married right after high school, because he's trying to be everything that he wanted his mom to have. Not realizing that the women that he's going to come in contact with are not 36. They're 16. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? So he doesn't even know how to navigate that because he unfortunately women sometimes make their sons do the emotional labor of a husband. Right. And the boy, for all intents and purposes, as he was 10, has been the woman's husband. Right. So the best thing I encourage mothers of sons to do is get that boy around some men. Yeah, for sure. Hopefully his father is a caliber of man that can guide him in the right way. Unfortunately, that's not always the case. I'm thankful for my male village. But you got to get you got to get him in that middle because they're going to they're going to be able to translate some of y'all's chaos that you might not even see. Mm hmm. They do.